Shattered Beauty_2003

PUSHPA RATNA TULADHAR
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SHATTERED BEAUTY
(An anthology of 19 poems)
Pushpa Ratna Tuladhar
Published by
Blue Sushi Press
Aptos, CA
2003
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Shattered Beauty
An Anthology of 19 poems
Published by
Blue Sushi Press
Aptos, CA
Written by
Pushpa Ratna Tuladhar
Date of Publication
2003
Copyright © Pushpa Ratna Tuladhar
ISBN 99933 59 14 9
Price
US$1.99
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CONTENTS
1. My Shadow 5
2. Nero is Playing His Fiddle 6
3. My Death 7
4. The Peace Digger 8
5. Bushy Forest 9
6. My Show Piece Identity 10
7. My Tranquil Dream 11
8. A Sacrificial Heart 12
9. Virus-I 13
10. Virus-II 14
11. Net 15
12. Illusion 16
13. The Tree 17
14. Shattered Beauty 18
15. Let My Bygones be Bygones 19
16. Turning Point 20
17. Sixth Sense 21
18. A Cup of Tea 22
19. Rhyming Passion 26
***
4

My shadow
My shadow lives my life
Strong-minded with
Quite majestic in character and
Sophisticated in fashion
More spacious in capacity and
Efficient in activity.
Rather than me and my life
Outgrow of its strength
Isolated me from my life
And seduced my properties
To maintain its own identity
As if old enough in humanity
To throw me away in waste container.
Stretched my body in full.
With only the skinny left over
No one may recognize me
As my own identity
I tried to run away from my shadow.
I scanned the horizon of my life
Far beyond my limitation
And searched my identity
Inside me and my life
Not knowing my relation
If existed with my shadow
To name.
*
5

Nero is playing his fiddle
So busy I’m in the chat-room.
On her humor
On her life
On her experiences
So frankly with me.
May be ’cause I know her not.
I don’t care of
For total freedom of Palestine
I don’t care of
War planes that are bombing.
To end the terrorism
I don’t care of even
Turned into war fields by Maoist
On their own pure personalities
Who cares?
So busy myself in the chat-room.
*
6

My Death
As if the milk turns,
My soul detaches from my body.
In the surface of my life,
My soul that grasp my breath
Vanishes into dusk.
My identity as human in my life
Tears apart from my body.
Pretty hectic I'm in my routine,
No time to be bothered myself
During my whole life.
Unconsciously,
The sole joints that sojourn
My body with life defuses
The solder between them and
Splits into my body and soul
My soul fades away.
Only my body as left over
Impassive and immovable
Lying in the earth
As anonymous and unclaimed
Then the Death commiserates.
For my body
That has no sense and gasp
*
7

The Peace Digger
The gray haired human,
Quaked by the war,
To feel sensory experience of
The still of a shining star
That plunged to his planet.
Shattered in the sky,
His spirit of tenacious belief.
In the cool and calm atmosphere.
Every once in a while,
The gray haired human
Takes his courageous stand
Grasping his feet rigid hold
Rigorously in his earth
To be severely secured
Not to tumble over his planet
By the sudden hit tremor.
No fatigued spirit he has.
Truly contented he is
And sturdy belief he has.
The still of the shining star
Drop truly in his planet
*
8

Bushy Forest
From the roots of my body hairs,
Running after time,
Disperses over my whole body
From my head to heel,
And deters my skin’s feeling
From the warmth of the sun
As the whole Amazon forests do.
In the worlds of my own,
My life and my identity
Adheres in every nook and cranny,
And shrouds my true face,
My nostrils and my lips
As the roots of the tree,
Out of the dense forest,
But waives
To the densely forest
Blanketed all over my body.
*
9

My Showpiece Identity
Inside me and myself
The super markets
The super stores
Indeed the series of shops.
Reproduces now in every workshop
For sale in open markets
At a price fixed for my efforts.
As if a series of shops
Lie from my head to heel
Available for sale now
My brain as wisdom
My eyes as vision
My thought as invention
Everything from my heart to soul,
As if me myself and my life
Opening for all to bid
In the global marketing network,
Qualifying my creativity
Displaying my destiny,
For me and myself
In the open markets of the world
As my own products do.
*
10

My Tranquil Dream
With no sense on my body and
Sensibility in my mind,
As the opened cage
From where my sweet dream
Exit out and enter in
As it likes
At any time as it prefers
Roaming free-minded
In the blues of the sky,
In the fragrance of the bloom,
In the greenery of the Nature,
In the folk tales
Foretold by my grandmother.
And in the fairy tales
Travels with Harry Potter
In the Hogwarts Express.
My dreams come back again
To the open cage,
Which is then securely locked.
That I've forgotten and forlorn
My deeplyrooted sleep
Still annoys me.
*
11

A Sacrificial Heart
Rachel! Your inner beauty can
Never hid in a bushel
By those beholding eyes.
By the speedy motion
Of an Israeli army bulldozer
That runs mercilessly over
In the city of Rafah.
Rachel! Not only Rafah
Shed stream of tears.
Your golden long hairs
Washed by your bloody bloods.
With the hearts of the Rafah
that shares your inner feeling
Deeply in the depths of your soul,
But so strong and stout.
Shattered rose petals
Withered to deep red
In the sands of the sands,
Rhythms amidst the sea
Feel the waves,
And fade out to all eternity
To save Rafah in total turmoil.
To bow my head to you, Rachel,
The only white rose of the Sands,
*
Rachel Corrie, 23, of Wasdhington DC, a US peace activist, was crushed to death by
an Israeli army bulldozer, which ran over her in the town of Rafah in the Southern
Gaza strip, while she and other activists tried to prevent the destruction of Palistinian
homes.
12

Virus - I
I unaware.
That may damage absolutely
Unconsciously and unknowingly
Every happening I shared with
Every event I participated in
Every image I’d close ties with.
I’d be aware utterly
Window must be kept open.
My eyes widely opened
My ears powerful to hear
Even a low pitch of resonance
My nose powered by smell
To live myself a life of reality,
Intact inside the files,
May compel me,
To save me, myself and my life
In the cyber space of my world
*
13

Virus – II
Viruses are on advance
From the black holes,
Incurable and untouchable
Tempting my mind,
Swiftly as cool air
Into my room
Adheres in every nook and cranny
Of every page of my life
Injects the slow poison
Into the arteries of my veins,
Spreads my whole body and
Decays my character slowly
In every aspects.
To my assets that I’m proud of
Obstructing my living
In my own cyber world
I breathe
Every second of my life
Alert with.
*
14

Net
My fingers are playing.
I build my home as website
My birth
My birthplace
My existence.
Saved as each file
That I view
On the Browser
When I’m alone.
I forget to hold my bamboo pen
To live the rhythm.
Holding a mouse by my hand
Let it kiss the pad with love
To get displayed myself
On the browser
My acquaintance
My reality as being a human
To the whole world as one
Inside the web
*
15

Illusion
Standing firmly,
I looked up and up for
My aim I found.
On the top of the mountain
Oh! I’m so scared.
Looking up intently,
For my aim’s still far away
From the pupil of my eyes.
*
16

The Tree
With the ocean of clear water,
The sky of the blues and
The nature of greenery
That has no units to measure
In this earth.
Crescent spade in the sky
Dug deep inside the earth,
That adores
Fresh water from the ocean
Greens of the nature
For a while,
The flower seeds that sowed
Burst into seedling
That I took from seedbed.
*
17

Shattered Beauty
(Magic of the mask)
Nature is so callous
To curse or bestow her
The face with left half
Disfigured and warped.
Alas! Louise Ashby
Alarmed herself
To encounter her face
In the mirror blurred
By the breath she exhales
As if the reflection of her face
In the turbid water
Traumatized by the storms
In the surface of the pond.
Louise Ashby,
Not being able to hold longer.
On her adolescent body
Tears flows in her eyes,
Granted her by Nature
To stage her play again.
Thanks to the artistic hand
That fixes
Fastened as headband
Inside the hairy skin of her head
To repair the left half
With the right half of her face
So much beautiful and reverie
That alive her again
With her dream comes true
*
18

Let My Bygones Be Bygones
For warming up the winter
As the leftover after burnt,
Wetted sulfur.
As in the stormy sky
By striking winds each other,
Only the empty stick left
After a smell of burnt sulfur,
I stifle a yawn
By opening my pages
Of my bygone days
If something leftover.
*
19

Turning Point
Gazing intently at
Clouds in the sky of gloom
Glow with iron-hot red
As if my wounds ripe enough.
Quite confused I’m for
My eyes can’t differentiate.
Filtered through the clouds that
Bleed from vein of victims
Of war, war or terror,
With my firm belief in mind
On the turning point.
*
20

The Sixth Sense
As the gloomy night deepens,
Glow by the red lights
Behind the window panes
Of the building that set
On both sides of the street
That multi-faceted face of,
Inside the window
Pitches the butcher shop for
Fresh and wet moon beaming,
For satiny and silky softness
With wisp of heavenly charms
For a fraction of a second
The edge of their lives,
Behind the window panes,
A silky and satiny soft orb
Like a glow of an evening moon.
In a faction of the second,
As if heaven flashes on the planet,
Shining in the yonder sky
Poor heavenly bodies
Fearing to be opted them
Out of the planet.
*
21

A Cup of Tea
I
Far beyond the horizon
When the rooster sang
A song of dawn coming
Beauty of the dawn
Sign of the day to come.
Waking me up,
My beloved lady pours
In the cup of dark sky
A glow of the Dawn.
A Cup of Tea,
A day in my life,
My beloved will shake my body
And put in front of me
A Cup of Tea.
So sweet taste of the morn I drink
A Cup of Tea.
*
22

II
Being tired of my daily works,
With support of my time
As walking stick in my hand,
My footsteps reach my home
Far away in the west.
The day then turns back
The lady of eve in the west
Pours in the cup of blue sky,
A glow of the Eve
A Cup of Tea
I lay silently
The sweet smiles of my beloved
A deep love
A Cup of Tea
A Cup of Tea
I've in my mind by
The beauty of the Eve
A Cup of Tea
*
23

III
The greenery of the nature
The wind whistles
In rhymes that
A couple of birds sing.
Turning the pages of my life,
I blossom inside me then
And hold in my hands,
A Cup of Tea
Beyond my belief
Every seconds of my life
In
A Cup of Tea
Truly not only water,
Seven colors of the Spectrum,
The beauty of the Rainbow,
I thank myself for
Every success in my life
A Cup of Tea
*
24

VI
Every seconds of my life
From every sip that I enjoy
A Cup of Tea
In the teapot of the Blues,
Indigenously blended with
Nine sweet herbs and plants
From the Himalayan forests
And boiled with sugar,
From the Nature of the Earth
To the eternity,
My lady pours
The essences of herbs
As stimulant to my life
In
A Cup of Tea.
Every sip rouses the potency in my life
A Cup of Tea
*
25

Rhyming Passion
In the bathtub filled with water
Quite cool as of the springs,
Fresh as dew on the leaves
And clears as the sky in the blues.
Between the walls of the tubs,
Gently cleansing the souls
Creates the heavenly bodies
With eternal love experienced
And muse whispers on their ears.
That’ll never extinguished
Intoxicates water that
Striking each other,
That’ll turn two hearts into one
Swept away all the dirt then
Only leftover as
Pure peace and sweat dream
In their minds lie
The calm and still of the sands
Never experienced before,
For a while,
Depth of the ocean in the tub
Stands still.
*
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Pushpa Ratna Tuladhar, born on 1948, in Katmandu, Nepal
A Poet from Nepal
Writing poetry in Nepal Bhasa, an ethnic language of Nepal and English.
My poems are published in Rearview quarterly, Poetry Sharing Journals, Some Words, Ascent, Escritoire,
Words Words Words, Zygote in My Coffee, James River Poetry Review,Sidereality and other printed and
online magazines and also in anthologies published in USA, UK, Canada, New Zealand, Turkey and
India. In Nepal, my poems are published in several literary magazines.
Publications:
1) Ghaymo ( A collection of 15 poems in Nepal Bhasa)
2) The Shattered Beauty (English) published by Blue Shushi Press USA 2003
3) Lhapsa ( A collection of 47 poems in Nepal Bhasa
Achievements:
1) The People’s Poet Summer Community 2004 Editor Paola Brown (published the poems of 15
poets in Nepal Bhasa translated in English) as Nepal community editor.
2) Poems published in The Voices International Project Editor, Roger Hyums (2005)
3) Editor’s Certificate of Poetry in the Month by Poetry In A Cup December 2006
4) Honorable mention of poetry “Satin” in Unscrambled Eggs Contest by Paola Brown, the editor.
Prizes:
1. Revatiramananda Lumanti Sirapa NS 1138-1139 by Manchuka Smriti Kosh
(for Natural Buddhism: Four Noble Truths published in Thaunkanhe Monthly literary magazine )
2) Bikshu Heera Literary Sirapa NS 1140 By Udaya Samaj (Udaya Community Organization)
Online publications:
https://www.scribd.com/document/870/Pushpa-Tuladhar-s-Poetry-I
(Collection of 20 poems)
https://www.scribd.com/document/873/Essence-of-Beauty
(Essence of Beauty – 18 poems)
https://www.poemhunter.com/i/ebooks/pdf/pushpa_ratna_tuladhar_2008_1.pdf
Pushpa Ratna Tuladhar’s poems
My address:
Jwajalapa
320 Phurkesalla marg
Dhimelohan Swoyambhu
Kathmandu 44620
Nepal
Tel/Fax: + 977 1 4274815
Mobile: 98510 27354
email: pushpatuladhar@gmail.com
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