CTL S2 Student book

Student Book
S2
Growing
in Love

KEY MESSAGES FOR YOUNG PEOPLE
“We are not some casual product of evolution.
Each of us is the result of a thought of God.
Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary.”
(Pope Benedict XVI)
1. You are a special human being, created by God in his own image
and likeness, gifted with unique talents and potential for life.
2. You are called to love - to know the love of God, of family and of
friends - and to love others as you are loved by God.
3. God loves all people as his children. You are called to show
respect for all people, even when their views and actions, their
values and beliefs, are different from your own.
4. Your sexuality is an important and intimate feature of your person,
given to you as part of God’s plan for your happiness and your
life’s vocation. You should cherish it and ensure that it is not
exploited.
5. Your sexuality makes it natural for you to be attracted to other
people. Such attraction can lead to strong emotional and physical
feelings which should always be expressed with modesty and
respect, both for your self and for others.
6. The ultimate sexual expression of such attraction should be an
expression of true love, in which you commit to being faithful in
marriage to a husband or wife, for life. Such total gift of self –
body, emotions and soul – is a great responsibility and requires
careful preparation and total commitment by both partners.
7. You are called to share with God in the creation of new life
through the rearing of children in a loving family which should be
a reflection of God’s love.
8. You are loved by God who shows compassion when things go
wrong, who helps to heal wounded relationships, who forgives
when your actions fail to match your ideals.

Growing in Love:
CONTENTS
Session Session Page
number title number
INTRODUCTION 3
1 ME 4
2 LOVE AND AFFECTION 6
3 STRESS IS RELATIONSHIPS 8
4 PEOPLE I CAN TRUST 10
5 BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND 12
6 RELATIONSHIPS AND THE MEDIA (1) 14
7 RELATIONSHIPS AND THE MEDIA (2) 16
8 PUBERTY 18
9 HEALTHY LIFESTYLE OR RISK 21
10 PARENTHOOD 23
11 MARRIAGE 25
12 COMMITMENT 27
Appendix Appendix Page
number title number
1 JESUS IS FOUND TEACHING IN THE TEMPLE 29
2 GEORGE’S STORY 29
3 SARAH’S STORY 30
4 PROMOTING MODESTY 31
5 MALE PUBERTY FACTS 32
6 FEMALE PUBERTY FACTS 33
7 PUBERTY: COPING WITH CHANGE 34
8 HIV/AIDS 35

Growing in Love:
INTRODUCTION
“If we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is perfected in us.”
(1 John 4:12)
Writing in his first encyclical, to which he gives the title ‘Deus Caritas Est’ (God is Love),
Pope Benedict XVI says, “God’s love for us is fundamental for our lives, and it raises
important questions about who God is and who we are.” So, what does it mean to love
someone or to be loved?
We all have a need to be loved. Imagine how it would feel to live in a world without love. How
cold and empty do you imagine that it might feel? Yet even in those times when we have fallen
out with family or friends, times when we perhaps feel unloved or even unwanted, we are still
surrounded by the caring and compassion that we can experience through God’s love for us.
Living in relationship is something that we do every day, for we are constantly in contact with
other people, whether they are casual acquaintances, or members of our family or close friends.
Even at school we are surrounded by other people, including our teachers and support staff. It is
through coming into contact with others that we learn to love, and it is this love that sustains us
on our journey through life as we are “growing in love”.
At times this growing is a physical process, particularly evident in childhood
and adolescence when we can change dramatically in size and
appearance. Less obvious, but still important, is the extent to which we
are growing emotionally, learning to cope with new feelings and
experiences, particularly through our relationships with others.
We are all growing in love throughout our lives.
page 3

SESSION
1
Growing in Love: ME
“Every man is said to have his peculiar ambition. Whether it be true or not, I can say for
one that I have no other so great as that of being truly esteemed of my fellow men, by
rendering myself worthy of their esteem.”
(Abraham Lincoln)
Learning objectives for students:
• to develop an understanding of the uniqueness of each person;
• to consider how we see ourselves;
• to consider how we are viewed by others.
Has anyone ever told you how special you are? No? Now that is surprising,
because you are the only person in the whole world that can be you, and
that is a major responsibility. You are the only person who is good at being
you! God created you to be you, no one else. You have the attributes, the
skills, the dreams, the plans. So, yes, you are special!
Perhaps we don’t think of ourselves in this way often enough. We prefer
to be a little bit more modest, or even embarrassed if anyone should
pay us a compliment. What do other people really think about us?
TASK 1.1
MY PERSONALITY
Working in a group of four, do the following:
1. Each person should write their name in the middle of a piece of paper and then add at least 2
words which describe their personality, e.g. shy, outgoing and lively, etc.
2. Each person in turn should add at least 2 more words which they think describes the
personality of each person in the group.
TASK 1.2
HOW OTHERS SEE ME
Working on your own, do the following:
1. Look at the combined list of words which you and others in your group have suggested as
describing your personality.
2. Now, take a page in your jotter and divide it into two columns, one headed ‘Positive’ and the
other ‘Negative’.
3. Take your list of words and write them under the appropriate heading, e.g. outgoing may be
seen as positive, etc.
4. If there are any words under the negative heading, try to describe how they make you feel
and why you feel this way.
5. Do the same for the words under the positive heading, explaining once again how you feel,
and why.
page 4

What others think of us can influence how we relate to them, and this can affect
us in quite a number of different ways, such as in the things we say and do,
the way we dress, and the choices we make in life.
As we grow older, this will become more and more
important to us. We might not be conscious of doing it,
but we all seek approval in our lives and we all feel a
need to be told when we are doing well, whether by our
parents, our teachers, our friends, or the many other
people whom we meet in the course of our life.
As Christians, we also seek approval from God, so that we
are able to rightfully claim that place he keeps for us in his
kingdom, as he promised us.
Reflection:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.
Extension Task:
Discuss:
“The best way to knock the chip off your neighbour’s shoulder is to pat him on the back.”
• What does it mean to ‘have a chip on your shoulder’?
• Why do you think some people might feel this way?
• How might this help to boost someone’s self-esteem?
page 5

SESSION
2
Growing in Love: LOVE AND AFFECTION
“We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant.
You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get by on itself.
You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.”
(John Lennon)
Learning objectives for students:
• to develop an understanding of various types and forms of ‘family’;
• to consider what it means to be a good family member.
them what it means to love someone.
The wonderful gift of love is not given by God so that we
can put it in a cupboard; rather it is given to be shared so
that it can bring joy to those we meet. How we rise to this
challenge, how we use this gift, how we bring happiness not
just to our own lives, but to the lives of those we meet,
depends on how we relate to people in our daily lives.
The first place that we should encounter love is within our
family. It is the first responsibility of the family to nurture their
children – to teach them – and by their example, to show
Since not all families are the same, however, the way in which this happens is likely to lead to a
slightly different experience for each of us, since families can be structured differently and can
function in different ways.
Perhaps it would be a good idea if we spend some time considering different types of family
groupings so that we can come to a greater understanding of what ‘family’ can mean to different
people.
TASK 2.1
FAMILIES
Working in groups of about 4, do the following:
1. Take the ‘Families’ cards (Resource Sheet 1) and read the information on each one.
2. In your group, decide how easy you think it might be for a young person growing up in such a
family to feel loved.
3. What things, if any, might make it more difficult to feel loved?
4. Does this actually mean that you are loved any less?
page 6

No matter how a family works or how a family is structured, this should still
be the one place where we encounter love for the first time. This is not to
say, however, that even within a loving family relationship there will not be
times when the love between parents and their children will be tested. It is
only natural that this should happen, as we don’t always see things from
the same point of view.
Sometimes it can be hard to remember that your parents were young once.
Sometimes it can be hard for parents to remember this, too. This can often
lead to conflict or disagreement.
TASK 2.2
LOVING PARENTS
Read the Bible passage (Luke 2:41-51) which you will find in Appendix 1.
Working in groups of about 4, discuss the following:
1. How would Mary and Joseph have been feeling when they discovered that Jesus was
missing?
2. How would they have been feeling when they eventually found him in the temple?
3. Why do you think this would be so?
4. Do you think Mary and Joseph had the right to feel upset with Jesus? Why?
5. What, if anything, does this story tell us about the love between parents and their children?
6. Can you think of any real-life examples of when something like this has happened?
Reflection:
Dear Jesus,
You lived as a member of the Holy Family with Mary and Joseph. Grant me the wisdom to
recognise and respect the wonderful gift that is my family. Through times of difficulty and times
of joy help me always to be a good family member so that your love may shine forth through me
in my actions, in my words and in my thoughts. Amen.
Extension Task:
As you grow up, it is natural to experience some changes in your role as a son or daughter and
a friend. What new challenges might you be faced with in the future and how will these challenge
you as a family member?
DISCUSS
page 7

SESSION
3
Growing in Love: STRESS IN RELATIONSHIPS
“If we want a love message to be heard, it has to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.”
(Mother Teresa)
Learning objectives for students:
• to develop an understanding of the need for good communication in relationships;
• to consider some of the problems that may arise as a result of poor communication;
• to consider the impact that certain aspects of behaviour may have within relationships.
You have been living as a member of your own particular family for quite some time; you should be
getting pretty good at being a family member by now. Of course, it isn’t always as easy or as
straightforward as it may seem, for people are people and, because we are all different, we don’t
always see things in quite the same way.
One of the most important ways in which we can be good family members is to communicate with one
another. For, in the absence of good communication, it becomes so much more difficult to let people
know what you are thinking or feeling, and even harder still to solve some of the small conflicts or
arguments that are a part of normal family life.
TASK 3.1
GEORGE’S STORY
Perhaps we don’t listen to each other, or really take the time to hear what someone else has to say.
Communication is a two-way issue; as well as talking, communication also involves listening.
Working in groups of about 4, read ‘George’s Story’, (Appendix 2) and discuss these points:
• What sort of problems are being experienced by people in the story?
Many of the problems we experience within our relationships are caused by poor communication, by
• Who do you think is to blame?
not saying clearly what we want, or by not listening to someone else’s point of view.
• What could have been done to prevent the situation from reaching this stage?
• Has anyone in the group ever been in a similar situation, and if so, how was the problem
resolved?
We have to work at relationships if they are going to work. Sometimes this can mean that we become
stressed, and this in turn can make us feel uncomfortable and maybe even irritable.
George’s story is one that is probably repeated thousands of times all over the world where two
people are focused on entirely different things and are either unwilling or unable to accept that
someone doesn’t just stop what they are doing to listen to them.
Families and relationships aren’t just about one person – they are about people being able to make
allowances for each other.
page 8

TASK 3.2
ASPECTS OF BEHAVIOUR
Working in groups of about 4, do the following:
1. You will need the ‘Aspects of Behaviour’ cards (Resource Sheet 2).
2. Read over each card, and within your group discuss:
• Is this type of behaviour/attitude appropriate within a family setting?
• What impact might this have on other family members?
3. What would be the best way to handle this type of behaviour?
For many of us, family life will be a very happy experience for the most part.
However it is not always easy to be a good family member. It can be very
difficult for parents to bring up their children to love and respect others.
After all, the perfect family does not exist, because we are all human and
have human failings. Although the family should be a source of love, of
caring, of respect, of patience, and of understanding, we often succeed in
hurting each other by our words, our actions and in our failure to
communicate.
Reflection:
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist
on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the
truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends. (1 Cor. 13:4-8)
Extension Task:
Discuss:
“Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless.” (Mother Teresa)
• What do you think Mother Teresa is trying to tell us?
• In what way(s) do you think showing kindness to someone, or even acknowledging their
existence, might make a difference in someone else’s life?
page 9

SESSION
4
Growing in Love: PEOPLE I CAN TRUST
“Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend forever.
(Anonymous)
Learning objectives for students:
• to develop an understanding of trustworthy qualities in people;
• to develop an understanding of the people that we can trust;
• to consider issues relating to confidentiality.
We all need to relate to other people, to share experiences with
other people. How easy would it be, for example, to enjoy
your birthday party if you were the only person there? What about
that very important bit of news that you have no one to share with?
Basically, we need other people, and other people need us.
What do we expect from relationships? We rely very heavily on
those whom we relate to for many of the things that we probably
take for granted, such as love, friendship, companionship, caring,
etc. Good relationships are built upon a strong foundation, and one
element which is crucial to the success of our relationship building
is trust.
TASK 4.1
PEOPLE I CAN TRUST
Working on your own to begin with, do the following:
1. Write ‘People I Can Trust’ in the middle of a page in your jotter.
2. Now write down some examples of people whom you can trust, e.g. family, friends, etc.
3. Now working with a partner, compare your lists and, by taking two or three examples, discuss
what it is that makes that person trustworthy.
Previously, we saw that communication is a crucial element in building good relationships. The ability
to communicate is an important part of growing up, especially when it comes to getting information or
confiding in someone. Trust, therefore, is very much a key issue in relationships, as this is likely to
have a considerable influence on whether or not you can approach a particular person to ask a
question or to discuss an issue.
Who would you trust enough to be able to talk about growing up?
page 10

SESSION
TASK 4.2
CONFIDING IN PEOPLE
Working on your own, do the following:
1. Get a copy of Resource Sheet 3.
2. Look at the list of people on the sheet and think about how easy or how difficult it would be to
discuss with them issues relating to growing up.
3. Give them a score from 1 to 5, with 1 being easy and 5 being difficult.
4. Now choose at least one person whom you would find it easy to talk to, and explain why this
is so.
5. Now do the same for at least one person whom you would find it difficult to talk to and explain
why.
If we have something that we need to share with someone, it is very important that we feel able to
trust them. We need to feel that we can share something with them in confidence, knowing that
they will not just run off and tell anyone else.
This sense of trust, or confidentiality, is very important in a relationship. It is also very important to
remember, however, that there may be times when someone you have confided in may have very
good reason for not being able to promise confidentiality, especially in an instance where they
believe you to be at risk from possible harm. In this case you have to trust that they will protect you
and your interests.
If you feel that you need to talk to someone about important issues concerning relationships or your
health, it is best if you can first of all talk to your parents. If you need to talk to someone else, then
you should consider talking to another adult that you can trust, such as a teacher or any other
responsible adult who will take your concerns seriously. For medical help or advice you should
speak to your doctor or the school nurse, but it is best to talk to your parents first.
Reflection:
O Christ Jesus,
When all is darkness and we feel our weakness and helplessness,
Give us the sense of Your presence, Your love and Your strength.
Help us to have perfect trust in Your protecting love and strengthening power,
so that nothing may frighten or worry us,
For, living close to You, we shall see Your hand, Your purpose,
Your will through all things. Amen
(St Ignatius of Loyola)
Extension Task:
Discuss:
“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt
with the heart.” (Helen Keller)
• What sort of things do you think Helen Keller is referring to?
• Why do you think it is so important that we learn to communicate our feelings?
page 11

Created in Love:
5
Session 5
SESSION Growing in Love: BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND
“To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
(Anonymous)
Learning objectives for students:
• to develop an understanding of human sexuality and human attraction;
• to consider the personal qualities we might look for in a partner.
All through your life you have been learning about how to relate to others. From a very early age
you will have seen examples of what it means to love someone - from your family, or your friends
or others around you. Of course, there are different kinds of love and different levels at which love is
working. There are many times where, despite saying we love something or someone, ‘love’ is not
really the appropriate word to use.
We are all created by God as sexual beings. Our sexuality describes who we are, as opposed to
what we do.
As sexual beings we become more aware of each other, we may become attracted to another
person. This is all a normal part of the growing up process and is likely to become more and more
important to you as you pass through adolescence.
TASK 5.1
IDEAL MAN, IDEAL WOMAN
At some point in your life it is possible that you may develop a very special friendship with one
person Working – a boyfriend in a group or of girlfriend. about 6, do You the may following: find yourself developing very strong feelings for this
person 1. Your and teacher when this will happens, give each it group is inevitable 2 sheets that of you paper. may At want the top spend of one more write and ‘Ideal more Man’ time and with on
them, the getting other, to ‘Ideal know Woman’. them, and building a relationship.
2. The group should now sub-divide into 2 smaller groups, taking one sheet of paper each.
3. Write down as many words or phrases that describe the ideal man or ideal woman.
4. Swap sheets with the other half of your group. Read over their suggestions and add some
more words or phrases that your group thinks of.
page 12

SESSION
1
TASK 5.2
FIRST FRIENDS
Working with a partner, do the following:
1. Take a copy of Resource Sheet 4 and read over the list of items that might describe the
perfect partner.
2. You are asked to think which of these is most important in your perfect partner and to arrange
them in what you consider to be their order of importance.
3. How many items in the shaded boxes are at the top of your list?
4. How many items in the white boxes are near the top of your list?
There is no right or wrong answer here, but your teacher will tell you what your answers might
suggest about how you regard relationships. Remember, this is only a bit of fun at this stage
and your viewpoint may change as you get older.
At this stage in your life it is very important that you start to consider
how you intend to use the God-given gift of your sexuality. As you
grow, you will more and more come to realise who you are as a
person, through your relationships with other people. In doing so,
you will possibly begin to identify the sort of qualities that you
admire in others. You may go on and develop a special and lasting
relationship with the one person who ‘ticks all the boxes.’
Reflection:
Dear God,
You have given us the gift of our sexuality:
May we come to appreciate this gift and to use it with respect
and responsibility.
Help us in our relationships to respect the rights and needs of
others and to act responsibly, so that the choices we make may
not lead us away from you and your love.
Amen.
Extension Task:
Discuss:
Where do we get our vision of the perfect partner? What is likely to influence us?
• How much influence do the relationships of others have on us?
• How much influence comes through the media?
• Do you think there is pressure to become involved in a relationship?
page 13

SESSION
6
Growing in Love:
RELATIONSHIPS AND
THE MEDIA (1)
“I have a philosophy: that we all teach. Anybody in the media has a very large
megaphone that can reach a lot of different people, and so whatever they say,
whatever they do, however they conduct themselves, whatever they produce has an
influence, and it’s teaching somebody something.”
(George Lucas, Film Director)
Learning objectives for students:
• to consider the impact of the media on our perception of relationships;
• to consider issues relating to gender stereotyping through the media;
• to consider some of the mixed messages we might encounter.
We have considered how our ability to relate to others is heavily influenced by our family, our
friends and the life experiences we have had. Our ability to relate can also be influenced by our
aspirations - in other words, what we want out of life. In our modern world which bristles with
technology, there are those who seek to tell us what it is that we ‘want’. They do this through the
media, where we are sold a particular lifestyle towards which we should aspire.
The influence of the media can have a very profound effect on how we see ourselves and how we
see others; this very often involves the use of what are called ‘stereotypes’. A stereotype is a crude
and inaccurate way of describing a group of people on the basis of little or no accurate information.
For example, do all Scots have red hair and wear kilts?
Men have been portrayed as being strong and tough, reluctant to show emotions. Women, on the
other hand, can be portrayed as being much gentler and all too ready to show their emotions. This
form of gender stereotyping is common-place both in the media, and indeed in other aspects of our
lives.
TASK 6.1
REAL PEOPLE?
Working in groups of between 4 and 6, do the following:
1. You will need Resource Sheet 5 for this task.
2. Read over the information, which is a brief description of the storyline in just one week from
Gender
one
stereotyping
of the most
is
popular
always
Soaps
wrong.
on
Yet
TV,
the
although
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the
very
characters
often indulges
are referred
in gender
to
stereotyping
only by letters.
and
the 3. assigning In your group of particular discuss roles, the quality and this of the is particularly relationships true between in the snapshot the characters of ‘real’ involved. life presented in
TV soaps. • How were the male and female characters portrayed in the story in terms of their
roles/responsibilities?
• How realistic do you think this storyline is?
• In what way(s) might this influence someone in their understanding of relationships?
page 14

In the soap you discussed in Task 6.1, the storyline referred to ran for several episodes in the one
week. Interestingly, in this storyline, only two of the characters involved were married – to each other
– and none of the relationships were ‘stable’. Why do you think the media shows relationships in this
way?
Another way that relationships are targeted in the media is through ‘Problem Pages’ in newspapers,
where someone, who is referred to as an Agony Aunt (or Uncle), hands out advice on relationship
issues.
TASK 6.2
HELP WITH RELATIONSHIPS
Working in groups of between 4 and 6, do the following:
1 You will need Resource Sheet 6 for this task.
2 These are all real problems raised by real children who contacted a helpline looking
for advice. Read them over, and in your groups discuss:
a) What is the relationship problem in each of these cases?
b) What advice/help would you offer to the writers of each letter?
c) Why do so many people use so-called ‘Agony Aunts’ to access information?
We are bombarded by messages in the media, whether it be TV, magazines,
advertising, books, radio, and of course the Internet. We receive a lot of
messages from different sources, and sometimes these messages make it
incredibly difficult to know the right thing to do in our own relationships.
Reflection:
Dear God,
Sometimes it is hard to follow your Way. Sometimes I am too easily influenced by what I
encounter through the media. I falter, and am distracted by false attractions. Give me the
courage and strength to stand up for what is right, so that I can make right choices in my life
and so remain at peace with you. Amen.
Extension Task:
Working in groups of about 4 to 6, take some newspapers and magazines and try to find articles
or headlines which say something positive about relationships and some which are more
negative.
Which was the easier to find, and what does this suggest about how relationships are often
portrayed by the media?
page 15

SESSION
7
Growing in Love:
RELATIONSHIPS AND
THE MEDIA (2)
“Chastity is the cement of civilisation and progress.
Without it there is no stability in society, and without it one cannot attain the Science of Life”
(Mary Baker Eddy, founder of Christian Science Movement)
Learning objectives for students:
• to further develop an understanding of the impact of media and technology on our
relationships;
• to consider what is meant by ‘chastity’ and ‘modesty’;
• to develop an understanding of legal issues relating to consent in relationships.
We live in an ever-changing and developing world
where progress, especially in the field of technology,
continues at a sometimes alarming rate. Many of the
teachers in your school, for example, will have been
brought up in a world where the main forms of
communication were post or phone, but nowadays we
travel on the information highway where the influences of
the worldwide web are to be seen almost everywhere.
The Internet can have many possible benefits that can
make life easier. Many more TV channels are now
available, giving access to a far greater range and choice of programmes. The way we listen to and
buy music is now completely different to the way that it was even just a few years ago. All of these
advances - and more - can have a positive impact on our lives. But, at the same time there exists a
potential for a negative impact.
Internet chat rooms allow for online conversations and the forming of cyber relationships across the
globe. We are able to communicate with people over vast distances, but how do we know who we
are talking to? How do we know that they are who they say they are? What dangers might there be in
taking a relationship made over the Web to
another level by meeting someone we know
nothing about or have only met through online
chatting?
page 16

SESSION
TASK 7.1
SARAH’S STORY
Working in groups of between 4 and 6, do the following:
1. Read over ‘Sarah’s Story’ on Appendix 3.
2. Why are Sarah’s parents so worried?
3. Do they have good reason to be worried? Why?
4. What does ‘boy’ mean in the last paragraph?
5. What reason does the police officer give to back up his belief
that internet chat rooms are causing more and more problems?
Sarah is obviously keen to take her relationship with the ‘boy’ she has met through the Internet to a
new level, to meet this person in reality, rather than in cyberspace. At 13 years of age it is
questionable as to whether this is an appropriate step, but what does the Law actually say about
relationships with regard to teenagers?
TASK 7.2
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?
Working in groups of between 4 and 6, do the following:
1. Read Resource Sheet 7 and discuss the information on Scottish legislation regarding the age
of consent.
2. Why is it important that these laws exist?
3. Why do some people continue to ignore what the law states about the age of consent?
In preparation for receiving the Sacrament of Confirmation pupils attending Catholic primary schools
may have been introduced to the ‘Twelve Fruits of the Spirit’ (charity, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, generosity, gentleness, faithfulness, modesty, self-control and chastity). The last three of
these ‘fruits’ are particularly relevant here.
God created us male and female and he designed within us an attraction to
each other. At times in our lives this will cause us to seek friendship, to seek
intimacy, and to seek love. Our sexual feelings can often be immensely
powerful, but it is how we rise to the challenge of controlling these
feelings that will help us to become truly loving people.
Modesty, self-control and chastity are all about responding to the gift of
our sexuality by living in the way that God wants us to. This means that
the things we do, the things we say, the things we think, should not
distract us from living a life of self-giving love and following God’s plan
for us.
page 17

The Catholic Church, in common with many world faiths, teaches that intimate sexual relationships
are intended for the context of the marital union of a husband and wife, and sexual intercourse is the
special sign of this total gift of self. Unmarried people – young people, adults, those who are hoping
to marry, and those who have made the decision to remain single (celibate) - are able to honour the
gift of their sexuality by “abstaining” from taking part in intimate sexual acts that are meant for
marriage.
This is the challenge presented to us in our modern world, where the messages we receive,
particularly through the media, put immense pressure on us in making choices about relationships.
Reflection:
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew in me a steadfast spirit.
Help me not to dwell on impure thoughts.
Forgive me for taking part in impure conversations and jokes.
Keep me from movies, TV and music that lead me to sin.
Give me wisdom always to behave and conduct myself in a way that does not lead others to sin.
Lord, help me to be holy and recognise in your gift of sexuality
my desire to be intimately united with you. Amen.
Extension Task:
Read over and discuss the results of the survey carried out in the United States looking at
viewpoints on modesty. You will find this on Appendix 4.
• Why should family background and religious conviction have such an influence?
• Why should the influence of the media, newspapers, TV, be less strong?
page 18

SESSION
8
Growing in Love:
PUBERTY
“Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us.
So you’re just noticing members of the opposite sex.
Naturally you want to look your best, and God says,
‘No! You will look the worst you’ve ever looked in your life.’”
(Eddie Izzard)
Learning objectives for students:
• to consider some of the changes that occur during puberty;
• to consider what it means to be an adolescent;
• to consider issues surrounding personal hygiene.
‘Adolescence’ is often described as a time for discovering who you are, which may come as a bit of
a surprise since you may well think you know who you are already. However, during this time in
your life you will experience a whole series of changes, and these changes will have a very
profound impact on how you see yourself.
Many of the changes that you will experience do not happen overnight, but
represent a gradual process rather like a journey. This journey is called
‘puberty’ and it starts at different times for different people. For some, this
journey may take a longer time or may be a more uncomfortable experience.
During the journey you might be forgiven for thinking that you are the only
person who has ever travelled this path. You are the person who is
experiencing the confusion, the anxiety about your appearance, the
curiosity about your sexuality, the moodiness, the changing emotions – all
of which are a normal part of the growing-up process.
Although no one else can live the experiences you are having, other
people can understand or empathise with how you are feeling. What you
need on this journey is a sympathetic ear, and also the love and
guidance of your family members and of other adults, who once
upon a while ago were also teenagers themselves.
TASK 8.1
Puberty Facts
Working in same-sex groups of about 4, do the following:
1. Quick Quiz. (Resource Sheet 8). Your teacher will read out some questions on the subject of
puberty.
2. Now read over the information on Puberty (Appendices 5 & 6). The boys read the Male
Puberty Facts and the girls the Female Puberty Facts.
3. The boys should now read the Female Puberty Facts and the girls the Male Puberty Facts.
4. Discussion:
• What are the main differences?
• What similarities are there?
page 19

TASK 8.2
PUBERTY CONCERNS
Working in same-sex groups of about 4, do the following:
1. Read and discuss the information on Appendix 7.
2. Why do you think puberty can be such a difficult time for a lot of teenagers?
3. Who should you talk to if you have concerns about issues relating to puberty?
Reflection:
Father in heaven, everything you created is good.
We have been given the gift of life, the works of your hands.
We have been created male and female,
blessed with the ability to love and to care for each other,
and to share with you in the creation of new life.
We thank you for the gift of our sexuality.
Help us to grow in understanding and respect both for ourselves and for other people,
that we may come to know how to use this gift of our person in the way that you intended. Amen.
Extension Task:
Discuss:
“Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent
ages as much as 20 years.”
• In what way(s) might parents be affected by their child’s journey through adolescence?
• Why do you think this might be so?
• What might help to improve the situation?
page 20

SESSION
9
Growing in Love:
HEALTHY LIFESTYLE
OR RISK BEHAVIOUR?
“A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious
lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is . . . A man who gives in to
temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later.
That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a
sheltered life by always giving in.”
(C S Lewis)
Learning objectives for students:
• to consider what is meant by a healthy lifestyle;
• to consider what is meant by risk behaviour;
• to consider issues relating to alcohol and drug use;
• to consider issues relating to HIV/AIDS.
What do we understand by the term ‘healthy lifestyle’? For many of us this might involve thinking
about the things we eat and the amount of exercise that we take. And while it is important that
we do consider our diet and our level of fitness, it is equally important to consider the things that we
should try to avoid, if we are to stay healthy.
There are many temptations which face us, many choices which we are asked to make. Sometimes
the power of temptation can be quite overwhelming, especially when coupled with the power of peer
pressure. But in making choices, we have to be aware that there will always be consequences, both
for ourselves and for other people.
TASK 9.1
Substance Abuse
Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, do the following:
1. Each group will require a copy of Resource Sheets 9 & 10 for this task.
2. You are asked to discuss the issues of alcohol abuse and drug abuse. In your discussions
you should consider:
• How might the use of alcohol and drugs influence your decision-making?
• What might the consequences be for you?
• What might the consequences be for other people?
• Is it acceptable to take risks in this way?
There are times when we may make choices that involve an element of risk, and
very often the consequences do not just affect us, but impact on other people –
family, friends, society as a whole. What we must realise is that the freedom to
make choices does not come on its own, but involves a massive amount of
responsibility. We are responsible for our own actions. Although there may be
other factors that have influenced our decision-making, we are responsible not
only for the choices we make, but for the consequences that may arise.
page 21

TASK 9.2
HIV/AIDS
Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, do the following:
1. Read over the information on HIV/AIDS which you will find on Appendix 8.
2. In what ways is it possible to contract HIV and possibly develop an AIDS-related condition?
3. Which, if any, involve an element of risk?
4. How might having HIV/AIDS impact on:
• the individual?
• their family and friends?
• society as a whole?
‘Risk Behaviour’ is very closely linked to ‘Self-Control’, for in the absence of self-control, we are more
likely to take risks, and we may find ourselves faced by overwhelming consequences. If we don’t wish
to face these consequences, it is important that we behave in a way that is less likely for this to
happen – by thinking about the possible consequences before we make our choices. To do otherwise
may drastically reduce our options.
Risk Behaviour can demand a very heavy price. This can have an effect on you, your career, your
relationships, your health. Are you prepared to pay that cost?
Reflection:
Prayer to Our Lady of Good Counsel
God of wisdom and love, you have sent your Son Jesus to be the light of the world,
and continue to send your Holy Spirit among us to guide us into your way of truth.
Open our hearts to your Word and let us ponder your actions among us.
Give us your Spirit of wisdom and knowledge, of understanding and counsel.
With Mary, may we rejoice in your gifts and walk in the way of truth and love.
With all your people on earth and in eternity,
we make this prayer through Our Lord Jesus Christ,
in the unity of your loving Spirit, One holy God, for ever and ever.
Amen.
Extension Task:
Discuss:
“My definition of success is to live your life in a way that causes you to feel a
ton of pleasure and very little pain – and because of your lifestyle, have the
people around you feel a lot more pleasure than they do pain.” (Anthony
Robbins, American author and life coach)
• How easy do you think it would be to live as Anthony Robbins suggests?
• Is life just about seeking pleasure?
• Why is it sometimes difficult to avoid pain?
page 22

SESSION
10
Growing in Love: PARENTHOOD
“You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round
will wave at his parents every time around – and why his parents will always wave back.”
(William D Tammeus)
Learning objectives for students:
• to consider what it means to be a parent;
• to consider matters relating to family life;
• to consider the human need for love and affection.
The use of the words ‘parenting’ and ‘parenthood’ can sometimes be a bit confusing. ‘Parenting’
refers to the skills, techniques and knowledge required to be a good parent. ‘Parenthood’ is about
the responsibility of being a parent or acting as a parent, for example in the way that a teacher or
another responsible person may assume the role of a parent in certain circumstances.
TASK 10.1
Parenthood
Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, do the following:
1. Brainstorm the word ‘parenthood’.
Write down as many words or phrases which describe what you think it means to be a parent
or what being a parent should involve.
2. Discuss your choice words.
Raising children is a richly rewarding experience, but is not without its challenges and heartaches.
The sort of parent you will become may be greatly influenced by your own personal experience.
Unfortunately, not everyone has a positive experience of family life on which to draw, and this can
have a profound impact on how they can create a loving family environment.
Some people arrive at parenthood at an early age, before they have really had an opportunity to
mature and to experience what it means to be an adult. Others suffer from emotional problems that
may prevent them from handling the many tensions, stresses and conflicts that can be a part of
parenthood, or even to meet the basic needs of their children. Unfortunately some parents are victims
of domestic abuse and this can have an impact on the relationship that they have with their children,
perhaps because they are trying to conceal this abuse from
their children or because the child or children
has witnessed the abuse. This can put a
tremendous strain on relationships within
a family.
page 23

TASK 10.2
HOW TO BE A GOOD PARENT
Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, do the following:
1. Picture yourself as a mother or father.
2. Read over the scenarios outlined on Resource Sheet 11 and consider:
• What kind of rules would you make?
• How would you respond if your child disobeyed you?
• How would you explain your reasons for having your rules?
3. How important is the art of compromise in such situations?
4. Why do you think parents and their children can find it difficult to understand or empathise
with each other’s viewpoint?
Being a parent is never easy or straightforward. Parents have a
responsibility to try to understand the perspective of their children
(although this doesn’t mean that the children always have to get their
own way). At the same time, children have a responsibility to try to
understand the views of their parents, which is not going to be easy
for them since they have never experienced parenthood.
Parents are not perfect; after all they are only human. So, there may
be times when they may seem to be totally unreasonable and
difficult to get on with. But then, so too are teenagers. It is difficult at
times, but the key is not to give up on each other, and to continue to
show the love, affection and respect that is necessary for
relationships to flourish.
Reflection:
Blessed are You, loving Father, for all the gifts you give us.
Blessed are You for giving us family and friends to be with us in times of joy and sorrow,
to help us in days of need, and to rejoice with us in moments of celebration.
Father, we praise You for Your Son Jesus, who knew the happiness of family and friends,
and for the love of Your Holy Spirit. Blessed are you for ever and ever.
Amen.
Extension Task:
Discuss:
“To understand your parents’ love you must raise children yourself.” (Chinese Proverb)
• What do you think people mean when they say that you won’t understand what it means to
be a parent until you are a parent yourself?
• Why do you think this might sometimes cause problems between children and their parents?
page 24

Created in
11
Love: Session 11
SESSION Growing in Love:
MARRIAGE
“A good marriage is at least 80% good luck in finding the right person at the right time.
The rest is trust.
(Nanette Newman, actress)
Learning objectives for students:
• to develop an understanding of the importance of Marriage as a sacrament;
• to consider issues relating to commitment and fidelity;
• to consider children as the “fruit” of marriage.
We have already seen that our sexuality is a gift from God and that through our maleness and
femaleness, created in the image and likeness of God, we are attracted to each other, leading
us to form relationships on a number of different levels. For many of us, this may mean finding one
special person to whom we decide to give ourselves completely in marriage – the total gift of self,
now, tomorrow and always.
TASK 11.1
MARRIAGE: A CONTINUUM
Imagine a line stretching across the floor of the classroom. One end of this line represents total
agreement, the opposite end represents total disagreement. Your teacher is going to read out a
number of statements. You have to choose whether you agree or disagree with each statement
and to stand on a part of this imaginary line that reflects your opinion.
In the Book of Genesis when we read the story of Adam and Eve,
we see the origins of marriage and God’s plan for our sexuality.
Having created all of the beasts of the earth, on the sixth
day God created ‘man’, and having done so, wished to
create for him a mate. So God took one of Adam’s ribs
while he was sleeping, enclosed it in flesh, and created
‘woman’.
God created man and woman for each other. God
created marriage:
“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and
joins himself to his wife, and they become one body.”
(Genesis 2:2-4)
Right from the very start it is quite clear that God has a plan
for humanity and for human sexuality, and this plan is in
two parts. We are called to love others as God loves us;
and we are called to join with God in the creation of new
life. This is central to a Catholic understanding of
Marriage. Sexual intercourse is only appropriate within
the context of the marital union of a husband and wife
and should be open to the possibility of sharing in the
creation of new life.
page 25

TASK 11.2
MAKING LOVE
Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, do the following:
1. Each group will be asked to discuss and write down what they understand by either ‘having
sex’ or ‘making love’.
2. As a class, discuss what differences or similarities there may be.
When a couple are married in a Catholic Church, at least one of them must be baptised. During the
marriage ceremony their union is blessed and sealed by God. The couple make a commitment to
each other, body, mind and soul, and their marriage bond is established before God and through
God. This is why marriage is regarded as a “Sacrament” and this is also the reason why the Church
believes that the Sacrament of Marriage is indissoluble – “What God has put together, let no man put
aside.”
As part of the Marriage ceremony in a Catholic Church the couple are required to state their
intentions publicly by answering three questions put to them by the priest. Firstly they are asked to
confirm that they are free, able and willing to be married. Secondly, they are asked to declare that it is
their intention to remain married without limit of time. Lastly they are asked to declare that their
marriage will remain open to the possibility of children being born into the marriage. These three
vows - Indissolubility, Faithfulness (Fidelity) and Openness to Fertility - are what make a Catholic
marriage valid.
Reflection:
“If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging
cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I
have all faith, so as to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give my body to be
burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not
insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in
the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love
never ends . . .” (1 Corinthians 13:1-8)
Extension Task:
“I didn’t marry you because you were perfect. I didn’t even marry you because I loved you.
I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for all your faults. And
the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the
promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up, it wasn’t a house that
protected them; and it wasn’t our love that protected them – it was that promise.”
(Thornton Wilder)
Discuss
page 26

Created in
12
Love: Session 12 11
SESSION Growing in Love:
COMMITMENT
What greater thing is there for two human souls to feel that they are joined for life
– to strengthen each other in all labour, to rest on each other in all sorrow,
to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent,
unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting.” (George Elliott)
Learning objectives for students:
• To develop an understanding of what it means to make a commitment;
• to consider rights and responsibilities within relationships;
• to develop an understanding of the need for faith, trust and loyalty within committed
relationships.
To be committed to someone means to give of yourself completely. As
you grow and mature you will come to learn what commitment means in
your life.
If you were to spend some time thinking about the different responsibilities
you have in your life, most of them would be the result of the relationships
that you make, since relationships go to the core of our human existence.
Some of these relationships may only be superficial, such as with people
you meet or work with. Other relationships may be on a slightly deeper
level, depending on how close you feel to a particular person, for example,
members of your family. There may be someone you feel particularly close
to and your relationship may, in time, become much more involved. Your
responsibilities towards all of these people will differ, depending on how
“intimate” your relationship is.
TASK 12.1
COMMITMENTS
Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, do the following:
1. You will need a set of ‘Commitments’ cards for this task (Resource Sheet 12).
2. Each group should look at one of the types of commitment described and discuss:
• What are your rights within this context?
• What are your responsibilities?
The group’s response should be recorded on Resource Sheet 13, which will then lead to a
Class Discussion.
Being committed to someone means that you don’t give up on that person, even though they may
not exactly be ‘loveable’ at that precise moment. You go on loving them, even though they may
have done something that makes you feel angry or hurt. This is particularly true of marriage, as the
Irish author W B Yeats wrote:
“I think a man and a woman should choose each other for life, for the simple reason that a long life
with all its accidents is barely enough time for a man and a woman to understand each other.
To understand is to love.”
page 27

As part of the vows undertaken during marriage in a Catholic Church the bride and the groom
promise to “take you as my lawful wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death
do us part.” This is a major commitment to make and therefore requires very careful thought and
preparation beforehand.
If you are not ready to make this kind of commitment, then you are not ready for marriage.
TASK 12.2
MY NEEDS
Working on your own, do the following:
1. You will need a copy of Resource Sheet 14 for this task.
2. What do you think is most important within a marriage? Score the items listed using this
scale:
1 = Very Important
2 = Quite Important
3 = Don’t Know
4 = Not Important
5 = No place within marriage
Faith, trust and loyalty are very important in relationships, and even more so within marriage. They
are not the only things that are important in the permanent, faithful and committed relationship that
should be found in the marital union of a husband and wife. But, without faith, trust and loyalty, the
relationship has no solid foundation. If the relationship has no firm foundation, then it possibly has no
long-term future.
Reflection:
Grow old with me – the best is yet to be. When our time has come, we will be as one.
God bless our love, God bless our love. Grow old along with me – two branches of one tree.
Face the setting sun, when the day is done. God bless our love – God bless our love.
Spending our lives together – man and wife together. World without end – world without end.
Grow old along with me, whatever fate decrees.
We will see it through, for our love is true.
God bless our love, God bless our love. (John Lennon)
Extension Task:
“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day,
so I never have to live without you.” (Winnie the Pooh)
Discuss.
page 28

Appendix 1
APPENDIX1
JESUS IS FOUND TEACHING
IN THE TEMPLE (Luke 2:41-51)
Now every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the festival of the Passover. And when he
was twelve years old, they went up as usual for the festival. When the festival was ended
and they started to return, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not
know it.
Assuming that he was in the group of travellers, they went a day’s journey. Then they started to
look for him among their relatives and friends. When they did not find him, they returned to
Jerusalem to search for him. After three days they found him in the Temple, sitting among the
teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. All who heard him were amazed at his
understanding and his answers.
When his parents saw him they were astonished; and his mother said to him, ‘Child, why have
you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety.’ He
said to them, ‘Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s
house?’ But they did not understand what he said to them. Then he went down with them and
came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them. His mother treasured all these things in her heart.
APPENDIX2
GEORGE’S STORY
It was Friday afternoon and George came running in from school, so excited that he was
almost about to burst. In his excitement he didn’t really notice that his mum was on the phone
when he blurted out, “Mum, can I go to Kevin’s house for a sleepover?” When she didn’t answer
him and carried on with her call George said, “But mum, Tom and Brian have said that they can
go and I want to go too.”
George’s mum finished her call and headed into the kitchen, followed by an exasperated
George. “Mum!” exclaimed George. “Not now, dear, I’m busy,” replied his mum as she started to
make the dinner. “Have you tidied your room yet? How many times is that I have told you? Do
you ever listen?”
By this stage George was almost ready to burst. “I’ll tidy my room. But please mum, can I go?”
His mum said, “Have you any homework to do this weekend?” The last thing on George’s mind
at that particular moment was homework. Angrily, George stomped off to his bedroom,
slamming the door behind him.
Discuss this story, using the following to help you:
• Could George have handled the situation better?
• What about his mum?
• What was the main problem in this story?
• Do you think George got to go to the sleepover? Why?
page 29

Appendix 3
APPENDIX3
SARAH’S STORY
“It is just so out of character for her,” said Sarah’s dad, as the Detective Sergeant sat down on
the sofa in the front room. “She has never gone off on her own before, and we just can’t
understand it.”
The six o’clock news the night before had led with the story of Sarah’s disappearance, and
since then her parents had been frantic with worry. Their 13-year old daughter had gone
missing. No one knew where she was or what had happened to her. All they knew was that
Sarah had come in from school, as usual, got changed and said she was off to her friend’s
house a few minutes away. Sarah never arrived.
Sarah’s mum was crying as she sat on the seat opposite. She thought she knew her daughter
well and that they could talk and share things with each other. In fact they were more like best
friends than a mother and daughter.
“Would you say your daughter spends much time on the internet?” the Detective asked.
“She used it quite a lot for doing homework, if she had a project from school. She used it to
talk to her friends as well, but then, don’t most teenagers these days?” replied Sarah’s mum
as she struggled through the tears to speak at last. “We just thought it was her friends from
school she was talking to. We never thought any more of it.”
“Unfortunately,” said the detective, “it is becoming more and more of a problem for us. Parents
have to trust their children, to give them a bit of slack, but when you cannot see the person
you are talking with face-to-face, you don’t really know if they are being truthful. They can lie
about their age, their appearance, about anything, I suppose.”
The six o’clock news tonight was going to show come CCTV footage of Sarah on the train she
had taken to keep her date with the ‘boy’ she had made friends with through the chat room.
The police hoped that this would help in reuniting Sarah with her parents. All they could do
now was wait.
page 30

APPENDIX4
PROMOTING MODESTY
To try and get a snapshot of American views on the influences which promote Modesty, an
online survey was conducted in October 2005 by Harris Interactive on behalf of
Incharacter.org, involving a total of 2,847 respondents.
Those who took part in the survey were asked to state what would be the most important
source or influence in terms of Modesty under 7 different categories, with the following results:
It is clear from looking at these figures that learning about Modesty, like many things, begins at
home. In the example presented within this environment 90% of Americans identify their
families as the most important source of learning about Modesty. The second most important
influence after the Family was Religion.
page 31

Appendix 5
APPENDIX5
MALE PUBERTY FACTS
(source: Fertility Care Scotland)
The journey from boyhood to manhood takes place over several years. Puberty is the name
given to the time of onset of change. This usually happens anytime from approximately 12
years to 16 years. Every boy is different. When the young man reaches puberty, his brain
produces hormones (chemical messengers in the blood), which cause many physical and
emotional changes in his body.
• The emotional changes are caused by the effect of the hormones on the rapidly developing
brain.
• This is a time of mood swings (sometimes feeling happy/sad, sometimes over angry, over
sensitive, depressed and not knowing why).
• Young people do not understand their own feelings at this time so are often unable to
express them. These changing moods are normal at this time.
This is also the time that young people begin to become aware of feelings of attraction.
• These feelings can take many forms e.g. mutual attraction (copying fashion and hair styles
etc.), feelings of attraction for the opposite sex.
• The loving feelings now being experienced can be very strong at this age and are different
from childhood, but are all very normal and part of growing up.
• This is a time for developing friendships with the same and the opposite sex. Relationships
based on friendship, caring and trust are essential for development into happy, emotionally
mature adults.
• These feelings can also provide the basis for a successful married relationship.
Physical changes include growth spurts, sometimes leading to rapid increases in height.
• The body shape changes with broadening of the shoulders and narrowing of the waist and
hips.
• Facial hair, axillary (under arm) and pubic growth appears.
• Skin and hair changes (blushing, spots, acne and greasy hair) may happen.
• The sweat glands become active and may be overactive at this time, possibly leading to
body odour if personal hygiene is allowed to slip.
• The voice deepens due to enlargement of the larynx (voice box) – sometime called the
‘Adam’s Apple’.
• The sexual organs, the penis and testes enlarge and the gift of fertility
becomes evident, and with it the potential to become a father.
A young man is often aware that he has reached puberty and potential fertility
when he has a loss of seminal fluid, usually at night. This is called a nocturnal
emission or ‘wet dream’ and is a normal and natural occurrence. It is simply a
release of seminal fluid allowing more room for sperm to be produced. He may
also experience an erection (the penis becomes firm due to rapid filling of the
blood vessels within the tissue of the penis) as a result of some sexual
stimulus, but often this can happen without stimulation, for example first thing
in the morning. Once an erection occurs there is a possibility of seminal fluid
loss.
page 32

Appendix 6
APPENDIX6
FEMALE PUBERTY FACTS
(source: Fertility Care Scotland)
Puberty, the time of change from a girl into a young woman, usually happens a few years before it
happens in boys. Anytime from approximately age 11 years to 15 years, the pituitary gland in the brain
(under the control of the Hypothalamus) starts to produce and send out hormones (chemical
messengers in the blood) which cause physical and emotional changes in the girl’s body. Every girl is
different in her development.
The emotional changes are caused by the effect of the hormones on the rapidly developing brain.
• This is a time of mood swings (sometimes feeling happy/sad, sometimes angry, over sensitive,
depressed and not knowing why). These are normal experiences.
• Young people do not understand their own feelings at this time so are unable to express them.
This is also the time that young people begin to become more aware of feelings of attraction.
• These feelings can take many forms e.g. mutual attraction (copying fashion, hair styles etc.), feelings
of attraction for the opposite sex.
• The loving feelings now being experienced can be very strong at this age and are different from
childhood, but are all very normal and part of growing up.
• This is a time for developing friendships, with their own, and the opposite sex.
• Relationships based on friendship, caring and trust are essential for development into happy,
emotionally mature adults.
Physical changes include height increases, due to growth spurts.
• A girl’s body shape changes, breasts develop. Not all girls have the same size or shape of breasts
and this is perfectly natural and a further indication of the uniqueness of each individual.
• Hips widen as the pelvis enlarges to allow the potential for a baby to pass through at some point in the
future and the waist narrows. This, too, is perfectly normal as she grows from childhood to adulthood.
• Skin and hair changes may occur, e.g. blushing, spots, acne, greasy hair.
• The sweat glands become active, and sometimes over active. Hair growth occurs on the body, hair
grows in the underarm and pubic areas.
• It is perfectly natural to become more aware of your body image from this time and to become much
more aware of the size and shape of your body.
This is also the beginning of the gift of fertility and with it the potential to become a mother.
• During puberty hormones in the young girl’s blood stream mature several of the eggs that
have been in her ovary since birth. (She has approximately 2 million eggs in each ovary
at birth, but by the time she reaches puberty, there are approximately 400 thousand left.)
• One - sometimes two - of these eggs may be released into the fallopian tube(s) once
during what is called her menstrual cycle, although not every woman produces an egg in
every cycle.
• When an egg has been produced this egg lives for only 24 hours; if it is not fertilised by
male sperm in this time it dies off and disintegrates.
• The lining of her womb, which had thickened up and become enriched with blood in
anticipation of a new baby, breaks up about two weeks later. The lining comes loose and
her ‘period’ occurs, as the loosened tissue is disposed of.
• Girls need to learn the proper use of sanitary protection to avoid possible discomfort during
menstruation and to ensure comfort at other times during their cycle.
Whilst it is common that many girls have cycles of about 4 weeks it is quite normal for some
girls to have either shorter or longer cycles, since each girl is a unique individual. Over time,
she will come to understand and recognise the signs of her own unique fertility pattern and the changing
secretions from her vagina that signal the start of menstruation or the potential for childbirth.
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Appendix 7
APPENDIX
7
PUBERTY: COPING WITH CHANGE
During the transition process called puberty, when you make that journey from childhood to
adulthood, a whole series of changes caused by hormones have been taking place. Some
of these changes happen inside your body, so you can’t actually see things happening. Some
of these changes happen externally, and you are able to see physical changes and notice
differences in your size, shape and appearance. And while your body is trying to cope with all
of these changes, so, too, is your mind. During puberty it is perfectly natural to feel confused
or to experience strong emotions that you have never felt before.
Puberty can leave you anxious about how you look, and it is possible that during this time you
may become more sensitive. It is never right to stereotype, but many teenagers do tend to
develop shorter tempers. Therefore teenagers can sometimes be portrayed as being moody
and likely to erupt at the least provocation.
It can be difficult to handle all of these emotions, but it will get easier in time. However, in the
meantime it really is good to talk and share how you are feeling, perhaps with a friend, or with
your parents, brothers, sisters, or an adult who can understand where you are coming from.
During puberty you may also experience confusing feelings about sex and have lots of
questions that you need answered. It is quite easy to feel embarrassed or anxious to talk
about sexual matters or to get the right information. Some teenagers may be able to talk to
their parents. But if the thought of this makes you even more anxious there are other people
you can talk to, such as your GP, a Class or Guidance Teacher, or the School Nurse. However,
it is best if you can talk about these things and get your answers from your parents.
There is no right or wrong way to approach puberty, for we are all unique individuals.
Everyone goes through puberty in their own time and at their own pace and there is nothing
you can do to speed up the process – it is much better if you just try to ‘go with the
flow’.
So maybe some of your friends have started to develop curves where you don’t
have any. Maybe your friend’s voice has ‘broken’ whilst yours in still maybe a bit on
the squeaky side.
Or maybe you are the tallest girl in the class and the boys look tiny by
comparison, or perhaps you are the only boy in the class who has started
shaving. Everyone else will eventually catch up and what might seem like
differences now will soon disappear.
At the end of the day, what you must remember is that there is no
right or wrong way to look. More importantly, it is not how you appear
on the outside, but the sort of person you are on the inside that will
eventually make someone feel that you are the perfect partner for
them.
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Appendix 8
APPENDIX8
HIV / AIDS
The Human Immunodeficiency Virus, or HIV, is a virus that can be passed from person to
person in a number of different ways, including sexual contact with an infected person. HIV
can only be passed on if the infected blood, semen, vaginal fluids or breast milk of an infected
person enters the body of an uninfected person. It is typically passed on in one of the following
four ways:
• direct contact with the blood of an infected person, for example as a result of an organ
transplant or blood transfusion (All donor organs and blood donated in the UK are routinely
screened for the presence of an antibody to HIV.);
• sexual intercourse or intimate sexual contact with an infected partner;
• sharing hypodermic needles with an infected person;
• from a mother with the HIV virus to her unborn child.
You cannot get HIV from hugging, kissing (unless there is blood-to-blood contact), sharing
baths or towels, from swimming pools, toilet seats or from sharing cups, plates or cutlery.
HIV attacks the body’s immune system, preventing it from being able to fight against infection.
Once infected with HIV you will have it for life and may go to develop the condition called
AIDS, Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, which is a collection of specific illnesses and
conditions that occur because of the presence of HIV. There is no cure for either HIV or AIDS,
although there are drugs available which can help to lessen the effect of some of the
conditions that people living with HIV/AIDS may experience.
It is believed that approximately one third of those people in the UK who are infected with HIV
are unaware of it, since many people living with HIV look and feel healthy, and may not be
aware of their HIV positive status. An HIV antibody test is available free of charge through the
NHS, and in many places, you can get the results the same day. Although there is no cure for
HIV, doctors are now hopeful that people living with HIV can have a more or less normal life
span if they take a combination of anti-HIV drugs.
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© Scottish Catholic Education Service 2008
Scottish Catholic Education Service
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