CTL S5 Student book

Student Book
S5
Faithful
in Love

KEY MESSAGES FOR YOUNG PEOPLE
“We are not some casual product of evolution.
Each of us is the result of a thought of God.
Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary.”
(Pope Benedict XVI)
1. You are a special human being, created by God in his own image
and likeness, gifted with unique talents and potential for life.
2. You are called to love - to know the love of God, of family and of
friends - and to love others as you are loved by God.
3. God loves all people as his children. You are called to show
respect for all people, even when their views and actions, their
values and beliefs, are different from your own.
4. Your sexuality is an important and intimate feature of your person,
given to you as part of God’s plan for your happiness and your
life’s vocation. You should cherish it and ensure that it is not
exploited.
5. Your sexuality makes it natural for you to be attracted to other
people. Such attraction can lead to strong emotional and physical
feelings which should always be expressed with modesty and
respect, both for your self and for others.
6. The ultimate sexual expression of such attraction should be an
expression of true love, in which you commit to being faithful in
marriage to a husband or wife, for life. Such total gift of self –
body, emotions and soul – is a great responsibility and requires
careful preparation and total commitment by both partners.
7. You are called to share with God in the creation of new life
through the rearing of children in a loving family which should be
a reflection of God’s love.
8. You are loved by God who shows compassion when things go
wrong, who helps to heal wounded relationships, who forgives
when your actions fail to match your ideals.

Faithful in love:
CONTENTS
Session Session Page
number title number
INTRODUCTION 3
1 LIVING IN COMMUNION 4
2 BELONGING TO FAMILY 6
3 HELP AND SUPPORT 8
4 PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 10
5 THE BIGGER PICTURE 12
6 DIFFERENT LIFESTYLES 14
7 LIFE AT ITS BEGINNING 16
8 LIFE AT ITS NATURAL END 18
9 DESIGN AND PURPOSE 20
10 MARRIAGE 22
11 FAMILY PLANNING 24
12 CONTRACEPTION 26
Appendix Appendix Page
number title number
1 THE LIVING CHRIST 28
2 CHILD/PARENT RELATIONSHIPS 28
3 AT THE GATES OF HEAVEN 29
4 THE PARABLE OF THE GOOD SAMARITAN 30
5 DECLARATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS 31
6 SPEAKING OUT FOR LIFE 32
7 UNTO US 32
8 REASONS FOR MARRYING 33
9 PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE 34
10 THE CATHOLIC RITE OF MARRIAGE 36
11 SARAH’S STORY 38
12a NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING 39
12b CONTRACEPTION 40
13 NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING AND METHODS
OF CONTRACEPTION 41

Faithful in love:
INTRODUCTION
“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who maintains covenant loyalty
with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations”
(Deuteronomy 7: 9)
We are told in scripture that God will never abandon his people; that he will remain faithful to
them. It is this fidelity or faithfulness that offers us so much comfort and hope in
experiencing the vastness of the love that God has for each of us as unique individuals, created
in his own image and likeness.
So, too, in our relationships with others that we meet. We place our trust in others, hoping that
they will look out for us, protect us from harm, and never seek to use or exploit us in any way.
We come to know love and to share love with others, perhaps as family members, as friends, or
as partners on our journey through life.
Some of the relationships we experience are casual and transient. Other relationships will be
more profound, and it is possible that, in time, there will be one special person to whom we
commit our lives.
Such a relationship will demand much from us and from those we love. Trust, care, compassion,
understanding, patience are some of the important elements in building a lasting, permanent
relationship, along with faithfulness, or fidelity.
As we grow, we learn to love others as we are loved by God, so that our love might be a
reflection of God’s love. We should pray for God’s guidance and help in remaining faithful
in love.
page 3

SESSION
1
Faithful in love:
LIVING IN COMMUNION
“I am the vine, and you are the branches. Those who remain in me,
and I in them, will bear much fruit; for you can do nothing without me.”
(John 15:5)
Learning objectives for students:
• to develop an understanding of the human need to belong;
• to develop an understanding of the rights and responsibilities associated with this;
• to develop an understanding of how we know right from wrong.
Mankind is often described as a social animal, but what does this mean? We all experience the
company of other people in our daily lives and there are some people whose company we
prefer, and others whom we would not choose to have any contact with at all. It would be hard to
think of living totally isolated from the world and its people, even if company sometimes annoys us
and we want to be on our own, perhaps for a short while.
It is true that members of the human species, in the main, need to belong to a group. From the
earliest days in the history of mankind, it has been found that there is security in numbers, a concept
replicated elsewhere in the living world. We quite often refer to things being “tribal” when we refer to
people acting together with a common purpose. However, ‘Living in Communion’ means that we are
part of a social group who live and work together.
page 4

TASK 1.1
RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES IN COMMUNITY
1. Make a list of some of the groups to which we belong.
2. Working in groups of about 3 or 4, each group should take at least two suggestions from this
list and write down what we may expect to receive as a member of this group, and what might
be expected from us in return.
3. Discuss these expectations.
4. Further discussion: “If belonging means doing the right thing, why do so many people choose
to do the wrong thing?”
Throughout ‘Faithful in Love’, you will consider various issues that have an effect on our society.
Some of these can be considered as ‘life’ and ‘death’ situations which all carry ‘moral implications’.
In other words, these are situations where we are called to make a choice between what is right and
what is wrong, and very often the reason behind this choice is every bit as important as the choice
itself.
In considering these life matters, one of the biggest deciding factors will be our vision of ‘life’ and
what we call the ‘sanctity of human life’. The greatest gift we are given is the gift of life, a gift which is
regarded as being sacred or holy by people of different faiths and beliefs.
TASK 1.2
SANCTITY OF HUMAN LIFE
1. Working on your own, read the statements on Resource Sheet 1 and, using a scale of 1 to 5,
say if you agree or disagree with each statement.
2. Discuss these.
3. Further discussion: “We are all created by God, and as members of God’s family we are given
the gift of life by God, a gift which we should look after and cherish.”
In our world there is much debate about when life begins and when it should end, with the issues of
abortion and euthanasia causing great dissent. From a Catholic Christian perspective, human life is
very sacred and holy . . . we are all members of God’s family, the Body of Christ. This has
implications for what might be expected from us as members of this community, and also brings
about certain responsibilities, like seeing ‘Christ’ in other people.
Reflection:
Read Jeremiah 29: 11-14a
Lord, help us to live with hope and to seek you with all our hearts. Help us to trust the plan that
you have for our lives. Help us to live in communion with you and with those around us.
Extension Task:
Read the story of ‘The Living Christ’ in Appendix 1 and use the prompts provided as the basis of
a discussion.
page 5

SESSION
2
Faithful in love:
BELONGING TO FAMILY
“All of you are Christ’s body, and each one is a part of it.”
(1 Cor.12:27)
Learning objectives for students:
• to develop an understanding of what is meant by the dynamics of family life and how we
relate as family members;
• to consider some of the stresses and strains that can be a normal part of family life.
The first relationship we form in life is the bond of family. “Family” can mean a great many things to
different people, for families come in all shapes and sizes. Some families have two parents living
together, whereas others have only one. Other families have several generations, including parents
children and grandparents, living together. For many people, ‘family’ is rightly considered to be the
foundation on which our society is based, and it can have the most significant influence on our own
values, attitudes and behaviour.
TASK 2.1
FAMILY LIFE
Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, read over the information on Resource Sheet 2,
which looks at situations that can occur in normal family living, and discuss the following:
1. What caused this situation?
2. Who do you think is to blame?
3. Is there anything that could have been done to prevent this from happening?
The teenage years can be the most challenging stage for families to experience, since the transition
from childhood to adulthood is a very complex affair, with lots of changes happening in life.
It is natural for young children to depend upon and to trust their parents; the willingness of a child to
leap into a parent’s arms with total trust illustrates this clearly. As children grow older, it is also
natural for them to become more independent and to develop their own opinions and values.
Sometimes this can lead to tension and arguments in a family where a young person tries to find his
or her own ‘voice’.
page 6

TASK 2.2
CHILD/PARENT RELATIONSHIPS
Working as a class, read over the quote from the American author Mark Twain and use the
prompts supplied as the basis for a class discussion. You will find this in Appendix 2.
At the very core of the relationship that is ‘family’ should be the love that we have for the members of
our family. In most cases, despite the ups and downs, despite the disputes and the disagreements,
that love still remains.
Good communication is the key to successful relationships. As we saw in Task 2.1, some situations
can develop and almost get out of hand because of a lack of communication. Communication is
about talking, but is also about listening, and sometimes the dynamics of family life can be radically
altered where we do not communicate with each other.
Those who have been baptised belong to a larger ‘family’ group – the Catholic Christian Family.
Since the decision to have a child baptised is usually made by parents, this can sometimes cause
problems, particularly where an adolescent teenager may rebel against their parents’ values and
choices. Some people may choose to move away from their faith and do not return. Others may
leave for a while but come back at some later stage, possibly as a result of some significant
experience or because they have rediscovered a respect for the values and beliefs of their faith
tradition. This is a normal part of growing up and shows a willingness to recognise and take on board
the fact that adulthood brings with it a whole range of responsibilities as well as rights.
Reflection:
Read Jeremiah 1:5-8
Father, we thank you for calling each of us by name to love and serve you and our neighbours
through the family and the community you have given us. Help us to recognize our gifts and to
be open to your will in our lives, no matter what that may be.
Extension Task:
Read the following excerpt from ‘The Charter of the Rights of the Family’ and use as the basis
for discussion:
“Since they have conferred life on their children, parents have the original, primary and
inalienable right to educate them. Hence they . . . have the right to educate their children in
conformity with their moral and religious convictions, taking into account the cultural traditions of
the family which favour the good and the dignity of the child. They should also receive from
society the necessary aid and assistance to perform their educational role properly.”
• At what point do the rights of young people take precedence over the rights of parents?
page 7

SESSION
3
Faithful in love:
HELP AND SUPPORT
“I tell you, whenever you did this for one of the least important of these
followers of mine, you did it for me!” (Matthew 25:40)
Learning objectives for students:
• to understand that at critical times in our lives we need the help and support of others;
• to identify who these people might be;
• to develop an awareness of the need for respect, responsibility and compassion in working
for a just society.
From time to time in our lives we may need help and support to cope with various crises that may
come our way, whether these are simple issues connected with the process of growing up or
perhaps more serious issues, such as coping with the loss of someone special to us. Our family
might be the first option to us but there are times when support from family may not be available. Our
friends can be a very special source of comfort, as they quite often will understand what the problem
is all about. For many people there is also a spiritual route to take: Prayer, through which we turn with
confidence to Our Heavenly Father, can help us to focus on the issue and meditation, which opens
our hearts to the gift of the Holy Spirit, may calm and relax us.
TASK 3.1
WHO DO WE TURN TO?
1. Working on your own, take Resource Sheet 3 and look at the list of people on it. Now think
which of them you are most likely to turn to in time of need or to discuss a personal problem.
Give each of them a score from 1 to 10, with 10 being the person you are most likely to turn
to and 1 being the person you are least likely to turn to.
2. Explain briefly why one person may be the person you would turn to, whereas another would
be considered less approachable.
As well as seeking help for ourselves, sometimes we need to be able to offer
help and support to people that we know. Relationships are not just oneway
affairs, for in any relationship, and at whatever level, whether in
casual acquaintances or with friends, family, we have to learn to give as
well as to take.
When we talk about relationships in a just society, we mean treating all others with
justice, but most of all with love.
page 8

TASK 3.2
A JUST SOCIETY
In this task, we will use the idea of a continuum, which is an imaginary line stretching across the
floor. Your teacher is going to read out several statements one at a time, and your task is to
stand on this imaginary line or continuum in a position that reflects the extent to which you agree
or disagree with each statement. One end of the line denotes total agreement, and the other
total disagreement, and of course the middle is for those who either can’t make up their mind or
are waiting to see where their friend(s) stand!!
Discuss the outcome.
We probably all want to live in what we might describe as a just society, where people are treated
fairly and according to their specific needs. What are you doing to make this happen? Is it good
enough to sit back and say, “Well, I’m not doing anything wrong?”
Reflection:
“I was hungry and you fed me, thirsty and you gave me a drink; I was a stranger and you
received me in your homes, naked and you clothed me; I was sick and you took care of me, in
prison and you visited me.
The righteous will then answer him, ‘When, Lord, did we ever see you hungry and feed you, or
thirsty and give you a drink? When did we ever see you a stranger and welcome you into our
homes, or naked and clothe you? When did we ever see you sick or in prison, and visit you?’
The King will reply, ‘I tell you, whenever you did this for one of the least important of these
brothers of mine, you did it for me!’
(Matthew 25:35-40)
Extension Task:
Read over the story of the man at the gates of Heaven, which you will find in Appendix 3 and
use this as the basis for further discussion.
page 9

SESSION
4
Faithful in Love:
PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul,
and with all your mind, and love your neighbour as yourself.”
(Matthew 22:37-39)
Learning objectives for students:
• to develop a deeper understanding of personal ambitions and aspirations;
• to grow in understanding of obstacles which may hinder the realisation of dreams/ambitions;
• to understand the need to relate to others and the responsibility this brings.
What do I want from life? Have you ever thought about this question?
Do you have a career that you think that you will follow? What is
important to you in life? These are all complex and difficult questions
and it might sometimes give us a headache to think of them so we
postpone any attempt to find answers.
The film “Hitch-hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” features
a super computer which gives the answer to the
question about the meaning of life. The answer is
42! This meaningless answer was the author’s
attempt to say that there was no real answer to
that question. However, Christians give a different
answer: our purpose in life is to be one with Christ
and to be part of the wider family of the Church, in
order to be one with God in heaven.
TASK 4.1
WHAT IS LIFE ALL ABOUT?
1. Write a brief personal statement, outlining where you see yourself in 10 years time.
2. Now take a copy of Resource Sheet 5 and fill in the information under the headings, ‘Things
I will need’ and ‘Things I could do without’ that will help you on the way to achieving your goal
or target.
3. Discuss this exercise.
Sometimes we need to look beyond our personal needs and consider how we should support others.
The parable of the Good Samaritan is a prime example of this. Jesus tells the story of a Samaritan
who helps a Jew who has been attacked and left ignored by his fellow Jews. Through this story
Jesus teaches that the person who helps someone in trouble is a good neighbour. Further, we cannot
choose whom we should help, but rather we should see everyone in need as equally worthy of our
help, regardless of any social barriers or traditional antagonisms.
page 10

TASK 4.2
RESPONSIBILITY TO OTHERS
Read the following passage of scripture and use the prompts below as the basis for a class
discussion:
When the Pharisees heard that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, they came together, and one
of them, a teacher of the Law, tried to trap him with a question. ‘Teacher,’ he asked, ‘which is the
greatest commandment in the Law?’
Jesus answered, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your
mind. This is the greatest and most important commandment. The second most important
commandment is like it: Love your neighbour as you love yourself.’
• Why is it important to ‘love’ yourself?
• Why can relationships be difficult if we cannot love ourselves?
• In what other way(s) might you need to be ‘sorted’ yourself before entering into a relationship
with someone else?
• What other considerations should you make before entering into a relationship?
Reflection:
Father, help us to examine our hearts. Help us to love others as you love them, and not see
people as a means to our own ends but, rather, as unique human beings, endowed with
God-like dignity.
Extension Task:
Read the story of the ‘Good Samaritan’, which you will find in Appendix 4.
• How far would you be prepared to inconvenience yourself to help someone in need?
• How easy is it to put the needs of others before our own?
page 11

Created in Love:
5
Session 5
SESSION Faithful in love:
THE BIGGER PICTURE
“Keep watch over your manner of life, dear people, and make sure that you are indeed the
Lord’s labourers. Each person should take into account what he does and consider if he is
labouring in the vineyard of the Lord.”
(St Gregory the Great)
Learning objectives for students:
• to develop understanding of Human Rights and then implications for how we treat others;
• to understand why the Catholic Church takes a stance on moral issues and how this shows a
respect for the dignity of the human person.
Following the Second World War, the countries of the world got together in efforts to address the
issue of human rights and also to prevent future wars. In 1948, the United Nations produced its
Declaration on Human Rights, which attempts to define what it is exactly that human beings should
be entitled to as members of the community that populates this planet.
TASK 5.1
THE RIGHT TO BE HUMAN
Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, read over the information contained in Appendix 5
about the Declaration of Human Rights. Now discuss the following:
• Which of the human rights listed are achievable?
• Are there any particular times when these rights should not apply?
• Why was it necessary to produce this agreed statement in the first place?
• What sort of world might we live in without them?
The Declaration of Human Rights was agreed by all of the member countries of the United Nations in
the hope that people would know the minimum rights which they could expect to be honoured by
governments. Unfortunately, these rights are not honoured in every country.
page 12

TASK 5.2
CONTRASTING MORAL VIEWPOINTS
Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, take one of the Resource Sheets 6a - 6e and
read over the information which summarises the views of one of five religions on various moral
issues.
Using Resource Sheet 7, make a list of the ways in which you think these views are similar to
and ways in which you think they are different from Catholic teaching on these issues.
Discuss these differences.
In the Catholic Christian tradition the basis of what is considered right or wrong is centred on what
God has revealed in Scripture and through the teachings of the Church. The central instruction to
love one another as we love God, and to love our neighbour as ourselves, directs the core values
that we apply to any moral issue, how we relate to others and the relationships that we develop in life.
We have choices to make at various stages in life and these will include choices between good acts
and acts that we know to be wrong. If we tend to make the right choices then a just and fair society
should emerge. However, when we choose to do wrong or do not object when others do wrong, then
society will tend to degenerate.
People are sometimes afraid to stand up for what is right, especially if they think that their own lives
will be changed for the worse. This is the challenge of living as a person of integrity in today’s world –
to make a stand for our beliefs, no matter the personal cost or inconvenience, just like the Good
Samaritan.
Reflection:
Lord, you have created us for a specific reason. Help us to be free of all that keeps us from
understanding what it means to be human. Help us to be open to learn, to live and to love
like you.
Extension Task:
Read the excerpt (Appendix 6) from the works of Pastor Neimoller, who wrote these words
while in a prison cell in Nazi Germany. Working in the same mixed groups, discuss these points:
• What is happening in each of the four verses?
• Why does the speaker find it so hard to speak out?
• What eventually did happen to him?
• What does this tell us about taking a stand for what you believe in?
page 13

SESSION
6
Faithful in love:
DIFFERENT LIFESTYLES
Marriage based on exlusive and definitive love becomes the icon of the relationship between
God and his people and vice versea. God’s way of loving becomes the measure of human love”
(Pope Benedict XVI)
Learning objectives for students:
• to develop an understanding of Catholic teaching on non-marital sexual relationships;
• to develop an understanding of Catholic teaching on sexual orientation and homosexual acts;
• to grow in awareness that unjust discrimination is wrong.
The secular world is frequently at odds with the moral values that Catholic Christians are expected
to uphold. This is probably most apparent when we look at the issue of sexual morality and
ethical decision-making on the sanctity of life.
When confronted with words and actions which challenge our moral outlook, there are various ways
in which we can react:
1) say nothing, keep quiet and allow the world to go by without trying to influence things;
2) modify our views and take up the moral position of the majority;
3) stand up for our values and explain them to those who would call us intolerant or old-fashioned.
One issue that can lead to misunderstanding and challenge is the perception of the Catholic
Church’s views on sexual relationships and sexual orientation.
TASK 6.1
TRUE OR FALSE?
Working with a partner, read over the statements on Resource Sheet 8, and discuss whether
you believe the statements to be true or false. Discuss these.
Article 16, paragraph 3, of the United Nation’s Declaration on Human
Rights states that: “The family is the natural and fundamental unit of
society and is entitled to protection by society and State.” This is also
echoed in Catholic teaching, where the family unit is central to family
life and human relationships.
Integral to this is the Catholic teaching that sexual intercourse, in its
proper context, expresses the union of a male and female who have
made a loving, lasting and freely given commitment to each other in a
married relationship which is open to the possibility of creating new life.
However, this view is one that is challenged constantly in society today.
What does the Catholic Church actually teach about sex outside of
marriage and about same-sex relationships?
page 14

TASK 6.2
CHURCH TEACHING ON SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS
Working as a mixed group of between 4 and 6, read over one of the four excerpts from the
Catechism of the Catholic Church that you will find on Resource Sheet 9. Discuss the following:
• What does this statement have to say about sexual relationships?
• Do you agree/disagree with what this statement says? Why?
• Do you think this statement discriminates against anyone? Why?
• Why do you think this is part of Church teaching?
• Why does the language used seem to be so stark?
• How might some people react to the language used?
• Why do you think it might be easy for the statements to be misinterpreted or misquoted?
The Catholic Church condemns all forms of unjust discrimination or harassment directed against
homosexual people. Indeed, it teaches that homosexual people “must be accepted with respect,
compassion and sensitivity” (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2358). So, homosexual orientation in
itself is not considered sinful or wrong.
However, the Church also teaches that sexual activity which excludes openness to the creation of
new human life and denies the essential complementarity of man and woman is morally wrong.
Church teaching that sexual intercourse finds its proper place and meaning only within marriage
applies to all, whether married or unmarried, homosexual or heterosexual, single through choice,
widowed or divorced.
Church teaching is clear that human beings are not defined merely by their sexual orientation, and
there is more to love than sexual desire. It recognises that all love is a gift from God and it calls on
all people who are not married to live chastely.
Reflection:
Read Matthew 4: 18-20
Lord, your call to follow you is the greatest invitation we will ever receive. Your call to serve you
through the vocation to marriage or celibacy is a challenge for which we need grace to respond.
Help us to trust in your plan for our lives.
Extension Task:
”We condemn the sin, not the sinner!”
These words have been used to describe the Catholic Church’s attitude.
How do you understand what is being said? Discuss views on these words.
page 15

SESSION
7
Faithful in love:
LIFE AT ITS BEGINNING
“And only where God is seen does life truly begin.”
(Pope Benedict XVI)
Learning objectives for students:
• to understand human life as a gift from God;
• to understand the need for responsible planning of families;
• to understand issues relating to fertility.
When does human life begin? This may seem an innocent
enough question, but it is one which has caused the Catholic
Church to find itself at odds with much of society.
Catholics believe that life itself is a gift from God, a precious gift to
be nourished, cherished and brought to its full potential. Since life
is a gift and, in the act of childbirth we act as co-creators with God
in creating a new life, this raises a valid question: do we have a
right to have children?
TASK 7.1
THE GIFT OF LIFE
1. Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, make a list of reasons why a couple might not
be able to have a baby.
2. Discuss what means are available to a couple that might enable them to have a child.
When a couple are not able to conceive a child, do we have a right to interfere with nature by
providing the means to overcome this problem? The Catholic Church is very clear in this matter, and
its basic moral principle is that, should any medical intervention assist ‘the marital embrace’ in
achieving its natural end, then it can be deemed morally acceptable. If, however, it replaces ‘the
marital embrace’ as the means by which a child is conceived, then it is not in keeping with God’s plan
for human life (‘Instruction on Respect for Human Life, Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith’).
For this reason, ‘invitro fertilisation’ is morally unacceptable.
The Church does not intend that Catholic parents should have huge families, especially if they are
unable to support them. Couples who marry in the Catholic Church, in making their vows, promise to
accept the potential of creating a new life as the natural fruit of their marital relationship. Catholic
parents, however, are expected to be responsible in attempting to plan the size of their families, in
keeping with their ability to support any new child as well as existing members of the family.
page 16

TASK 7.2
PLANNING A FAMILY
Working with a partner, take a set of ‘Attributes’ cards (Resource Sheet 10) and imagine that
you are expecting a child. What would you wish for your child?
Choose 6 ‘attributes’ that you think would be essential, 6 which you think might be fairly
important and 6 which you would not wish for your child.
In today’s world the frontiers of science are constantly being pushed back as our understanding of
science evolves and new technologies are introduced. We now live in a world where ‘designer
babies’ are very much a reality. In the previous task, in choosing the attributes you would want for
your child, you have essentially been designing your baby. Do we have a right to do so in real life?
This presents us with a moral dilemma.
Due to the advances in medical technology, people who might
otherwise not be able to have a child by natural means can become
parents. Scientists argue that they can identify particular genes that
cause certain illnesses or medical conditions, and by engineering the
genetic make-up of an embryo, can make sure that any such genetic
or hereditary condition will not be present in a new-born child. Once
again, do we have the right to do this, or should we accept nature?
Medical research may yet prove to bring beneficial results, but at what
cost? Is human life a gift from God? Is it special and unique? Is it ever
acceptable to use human life for experimentation, even if ‘good’ will
come from it?
Having the potential to choose the sex of our babies, the colour of their
hair, the colour of their eyes, their size, their intelligence or any other
genetic qualities, brings with it many ethical dilemmas. Is there such a
thing as the ‘perfect human being’? Who decides what is ‘perfection’?
And what happens to you if you fail to match up to this ideal?
Reflection:
Lord, as you created us in your image and likeness, we know that you created us out of love
and for love. You created us for a union of love with each other, just as you created us to be
together forever with you.
Extension Task:
Choose ONE of the ethical dilemmas referred to in the paragraphs above. Write a few
paragraphs outlining both sides of the dilemma and explaining your own particular point of view
on this issue.
page 17

SESSION
8
Faithful in love:
LIFE AT ITS NATURAL END
“For each of us, life is like a journey. Birth is the beginning of this journey,
and death is not the end; but the destination.”
(Adapted from an old Hebrew Prayer)
Learning objectives for students:
• to understand what is meant by the ‘sanctity of human life’;
• to deepen understanding of life’s natural end;
• to consider moral problems in respect of abortion, euthanasia, capital punishment and war.
T
he Church teaches that all human life is sacred, and in the Bible we are told, “Do not kill”
(Exodus 20:13). Yet Christians across the world, and over many centuries, have repeatedly
ignored this commandment in attempting to justify the taking of human life. Is it ever acceptable to
take another human life?
TASK 8.1
SANCTITY OF HUMAN LIFE
Working in groups of between 4 and 6, take one of the four issues listed below and make a list of
arguments for and against this issue.
The issues are:
1. Abortion 2. Euthanasia 3. Capital Punishment 4. War
Take the sheet of paper provided and divide it into two columns, headed ‘for’ and ‘against’ and list
the arguments you can think of.
Discuss the arguments.
Public opinion varies in relation to these issues.
• In the case of Abortion, there are those who argue that the mother has the right to choose whether
to give birth to a child. The Church would stress the need to protect the unborn child’s life.
• Euthanasia is promoted as a way of putting an end to suffering and pain by intentionally ending a
person’s life. The Church would uphold the need to respect the lives of the most vulnerable in
society.
• Capital Punishment is seen by many as the only way to deter serious criminals, such as murderers.
The Church can only allow for the possibility of such a sanction as a last resort in the rarest of
cases.
• Others believe that it is possible to justify War. The Church accepts that countries have the right to
lawful self-defence, using the theory of ‘just war’.
Of course there are others who would argue against all four of these issues. So what happened to God’s
Commandment “Do not kill”?
page 18

TASK 8.2
DO NOT KILL
Imagine a straight line stretching across the floor of the classroom. One end of the line
represents the place of total agreement, and the other end is the place of total disagreement. In
between these two extremes are to be found many different arguments and opinions.
Your teacher will read out four statements. Where do you stand?
Discuss the Church’s teaching on each issue.
Reflection:
Loving Father, you have created us for yourself and called us to love. Help us to be open today
to accept your forgiveness for our failings and your grace to remain steadfast in loving you.
Extension Task:
Read the poem ‘Unto Us’ by Spike Milligan. You will find this on Appendix 7. Discuss the following:
• What is this poem about?
• Who is the narrator in the poem?
• How does (s)he feel about what happens to her/him?
• What is Spike Milligan trying to tell us in his poem?
page 19

SESSION
9
Faithful in love:
DESIGN AND PURPOSE
‘So God created human beings, making them to be like himself.
He created them male and female, blessed them, and said,
“Have many children, so that your descendants will live all over the earth”’
(Genesis 1:27-28)
Learning objectives for students:
• to understand why people have sex;
• to understand what is meant by sexual activity;
• to understand the proper context for both sex and sexual activity.
The belief that people are part of God’s creation and are therefore unique and special is very
important in understanding who we are as humans. Our genetic make-up determines our growth
pattern and as we mature into young adults we become much more aware of our sexual
development. This is a normal part of the process of becoming a fully developed human being.
As we reach puberty, changes occur within our body that will open up the potential of parenthood and
the opportunity to share in God’s plan for our sexuality. There are, of course, the normal physical
changes through puberty but there are also emotional changes. Mood swings are common as
hormone changes occur, with many teenagers becoming more emotional and taking a greater
interest in members of the opposite sex. This can lead to problems in relationships and pressure to
become sexually active.
TASK 9.1
WHY DO YOUNG PEOPLE HAVE SEX?
1. Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, take the large sheet of paper provided and write
‘Teenagers and Sex’ in the middle. Discuss and record on the sheet a list of possible reasons
why some teenagers decide to have sex.
According to the teaching of the Catholic Church, the proper context for sex is the married
relationship, which means that sex with anyone else other than the person you are married to is
morally wrong.
Some people, particularly young people, don’t want to know or hear this message, claiming that the
Church is old-fashioned and out of touch with society. Others don’t want to get married, or choose to
‘live together’ for a while before marrying. Others still just want the freedom to have sex with a
number of partners.
The Catholic Church teaches that sex was created by God, and that it was designed to be used
exclusively by a husband and wife in sealing their permanent and faithful loving relationship. Sexual
intercourse is, therefore, a sign of their marriage covenant.
Animals, on the other hand, have sex out of instinct and to ensure the survival of their species, often
governed by times and seasons in the year. Human beings, though, are not animals. The story of
Adam giving names to all of the wild beasts brought before him by God (Genesis 2: 18-20) shows this
quite clearly. Adam, in naming all of the wild beasts, underlines what he is not. As humans we have
the capacity to reason and to use free will in deciding when and with whom to have sex.
page 20

TASK 9.1
THE PURPOSE OF SEX
Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, discuss what it means to ‘have sex’ with someone.
In your discussions, you should think about the following:
• The purpose of sex
• Which sexual acts the Church would teach are wrong
• Why this might be the case
The Church teaches that when the purpose of sexual activity is nothing more than a recreational
activity, then it is wrong. For in treating sex in this way, you reduce your partner to little more than a
sex object or a means to gain personal gratification. To do this is to undermine what is most human
and most significant about sexual intimacy.
This level of intimacy - when your body expresses the absolute commitment of heart and soul to
another - should be reserved for the faithful and permanent bond of marriage. How can you continue
to give you self “completely” to one person and then another and so on?
Reflection:
Read Proverbs 3:5-8, 13a, 18
Lord, help us to rely not on our own understanding of our bodies or our desires. Help us to trust
you completely and to be open to learn from you about the work of your wonderful creation,
each person with us today. May your word bring healing, renewal, wisdom and happiness.
Extension Task:
Read and discuss the following statement:
“Despite what the media encourages us to think, sex is not meant for our entertainment. Our
genitals are not ‘sex toys’.”
• In what ways is “sex not meant for our entertainment”?
• To what extent is this viewpoint reflected through the media?
page 21

SESSION
10
Faithful in love:
MARRIAGE
But in the beginning, at the time of Creation,
‘God made them male and female,’ as scripture says.
‘And for this reason a man will leave his father and mother
and unite with his wife, and the two will become one.’
(Mark 10:6-8)
Learning objectives for students:
• to understand why people choose to get married;
• to develop an understanding of the difference between being married and living together;
• to understand the sacramental significance of Marriage.
Marriage is one of the seven Sacraments of the Catholic Church. If we regard Marriage as a
sacrament then any actions that serve to unite a couple in marriage can be understood as
‘sacramental’, including the loving act of sexual intercourse. In this sense, a married couple, in
expressing their love through God’s gift of their bodies, can be seen as a sign of God’s loving
presence in the world. This provides another reason for sex to be given more respect and reverence
in our lives.
So why is it that society seems to adopt such a casual approach to sex? Surely sex is much too
important to be treated casually.
TASK 10.1 IS LIVING TOGETHER THE SAME AS BEING MARRIED?
Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6 read over the information in Appendix 8. This is
based on research carried out in Australia when people were asked to give reasons for either
marrying or living together.
In your groups, discuss which reasons came out top in this survey and why you think this should
be the case.
Contrary to what we sometimes hear, marriage is not being phased out.
Most people in your class will probably be married at some point in their
lives. For many it will be a joyful experience lasting many years, whereas
for others it may be a more short-lived experience. A large number of
those who get married and are later divorced do not seem to be put off
the idea, and subsequently re-marry! What does this suggest? Perhaps it
is not the idea of marriage that is the problem, but the person whom we
marry. If we spent a bit more time in planning and preparing for marriage,
maybe things would work out better!
page 22

TASK 10.2 PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE
Working with a partner, look at the information on Resource Sheet 11 and rate on a scale of 1
to 5 (1 = extremely important, 5 = completely unimportant) how important you think each of the
statements is in preparing for marriage, whether in a Catholic Church or not.
Some people choose to live together, and for a number of these people, living
together may eventually lead to marriage. For others, however, living together is as
far as it goes.
Why get married? Why get married in Church? For many Catholics, the married
union of a man and woman is a sacramental sign of Christ’s love. So when they
get married it is more than just the exchange of legal contracts or vows, for
Catholic Marriage involves God and the whole community.
TASK 10.3 MARRIAGE IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH
Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, read Appendix 9, which shows the information
which you are required to provide before being granted permission to be married in the Catholic
Church. Discuss the following:
• Why is so much information required?
• Why is this information so important in preparing for a wedding in a Catholic Church?
• What does this suggest about the Catholic Church’s view on marriage?
Reflection:
Lord, we ask that you help us to appreciate that happy, blessed marriages are both possible and
real, in and through your love. Help us to learn to offer ourselves in unconditional love so that
we can prepare ourselves for a future of happiness and authentic love.
Extension Task:
Read over the excerpt from the Catholic Rite of Marriage, which you will find on Appendix 10.
page 23

Created in
11
Love: Session 11
SESSION Faithful in love:
FAMILY PLANNING
“It is the duty of parents to make certain that their desire to space births is not motivated by
selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood.”
(Catechism of the Catholic Church, n. 2368)
Learning objectives for students:
• to understand childbirth as a sharing in God’s gift of life;
• to understand the teachings of the Catholic Church in relation to contraception and family
planning.
The Church’s view on family planning is very often misunderstood and frequently misquoted, even
by Catholics. A common understanding would seem to be that Catholic parents should have as
many children as possible, with each act of sexual intercourse between a husband and wife
designed for that very purpose and no other. This couldn’t be any further from the truth.
It is true that for a marriage to be valid there must be openness to having children, but there is also a
strong sense of the couple being as one together, united in love. God invented sex! God wants
people to enjoy the gift of sex as a beautiful expression of married love
The Church espouses the sexual union of husband and wife as a sign of their mutual love and not
merely an outlet for personal gratification – ‘using’ as opposed to ‘loving’. The Church expects
married couples to be responsible in planning the number of children they might have according to
their means of supporting their family.
TASK 11.1
SHARING IN GOD’S GIFT
Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, read ‘Sarah’s Story’, which you will find in
Appendix 11. Now discuss the following:
• What do you think about Sarah and her boyfriend’s decision to save sex until marriage?
• What advantages does this bring?
• Are there any disadvantages?
• Do you think that young people are under pressure to have sex before marriage?
The female fertility cycle allows couples to plan for having children and it also allows for the idea of
spacing out the number of children. This method of birth control is called Natural Family Planning
and is normally best organised with the help of a doctor or nurse trained in advising couples; if used
correctly, it is 98% effective.
Natural Family Planning is a method which allows a couple to recognise fertile and infertile times
during the woman’s menstrual cycle. It is a method that requires a great deal of co-operation from
both partners and is not an appropriate method for planning a family in a casual relationship, or
where there are multiple partners. It calls for trust, understanding, patience, consideration, selfcontrol,
respect, communication and commitment. These are not to be found in a casual relationship,
but all of them should be present in a loving, committed married relationship.
page 24

Natural Family Planning, when taught by an experienced tutor
(such as those who work for Fertility Care Scotland), empowers
a couple with a greater understanding of both male and female
fertility and places the responsibility on both partners in the
relationship. By carefully monitoring signs given by the
woman’s body, such as the thickening of mucus secreted from
the vagina, or by changes in body temperature, the couple, with
appropriate training, are able to identify the fertile time when an
egg may be present during the naturally occurring menstrual
cycle. This provides the couple with two options. If it is their
desire to have a child, then they should have sexual intercourse
during this time, since there is a possibility that an egg may be
present and awaiting fertilisation. On the other hand, if the
couple do not want to have a child at this time, they would
choose to abstain from having sexual intercourse.
TASK 11.2
IS NFP NOT JUST THE SAME AS CONTRACEPTION?
Working with a partner, use the information on Natural Family Planning and Contraception, given
in Appendix 12.
Make a list of the differences between these methods of birth control.
Responsible parenthood will probably involve having to decide when to have children and how many
children to have, by the will of God. If, however, this is achieved by means of contraception, a ‘barrier’
has been placed between the partners, or the healthy working of the body has been suppressed,
making the act of sexual intercourse infertile.
Reflection:
Lord, help us to resist all temptations that keep us from speaking the whole truth with our
mouths, minds, hearts and bodies. Make us strong so that we can be honest in word and deed,
with pure hearts that follow you.
Extension Task:
Read the following excerpt from the Catechism of the Catholic Church and discuss/reflect on its
meaning:
“Called to give life, spouses share in the creative power and fatherhood of God. They should
realise that they are thereby co-operating with the love of God the Creator and are, in a certain
sense, its interpreters.” (CCC, 2367)
• In what sense do we share with God in creating new life?
• What does it mean to be an ‘interpreter’ of God’s love?
page 25

Created in
12
Love: Session 12 11
SESSION Faithful in love:
CONTRACEPTION
“Contraception is to be judged so profoundly unlawful as never to be, for any reason, justified.
To think or to say the contrary is equal to maintaining that in human life, situations may arise in
which it is lawful not to recognise God as God.”
Learning objectives for students:
• to understand more fully what it means to abstain from sex;
• to understand the nature and purpose of contraceptives;
• to deepen in understanding of Church teaching on contraception.
(Pope John Paul II, ‘L’Osservatore Romano, 1983)
The key to Natural Family Planning lies in identifying the fertile times in the woman’s menstrual
cycle and using this information to either postpone conception by abstaining from sex, or to
welcome the possibility of conception as the fruit of their sexual union.
TASK 12.1
ABSTINENCE
Working in a group of between 4 and 6, brainstorm the word ‘abstinence’ in relation to sexual
intercourse.
In doing this, you should consider times, situations, etc. that may be the reason for someone’s
decision to abstain from sex.
If you choose to have sex, you must accept that you are no longer safe from pregnancy or from the
even greater risk of sexually transmitted infections. It is possible to use some form of contraception in
the hope of avoiding pregnancy, and of reducing the risk of contracting some STIs, but three points
should be borne in mind:
1. The Catholic Church teaches that all forms of contraception are wrong.
2. No one method of contraception is 100% reliable.
3. Condoms were not designed to prevent STIs or HIV/AIDS and may reduce the risk of
contraction, but not remove it completely.
We live in a society where, in order to avoid pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted infections or
HIV/AIDS, we are told to practise ‘safe sex’. We are told to ‘protect ourselves’. But if we truly love the
person with whom we have sex, what do we need ‘protection’ from? What do we understand by ‘safe
sex’, and what means are available to make sex “safe”?
TASK 12.2 WHAT ARE CONTRACEPTIVES?
Appendix 12a and 12b provides information about Natural Family Planning and some of the
more commonly available methods of contraception. In mixed groups of between 4 and 6, read
over this information and discuss which methods are safe and what it is that makes them safe.
You can record your group’s opinions on Resource Sheet 12.
page 26

What do we mean by ‘safe’ sex? In completing the
previous task we considered the various means available
that are supposed to make sex ‘safe’. However it should
perhaps be clearer now that while they may make sex
‘safer’, all of the methods listed have failure rates. Some
of them present side effects and none of them can
guarantee that you are free from pregnancy or sexually
transmitted infection. Does this mean that there is no
such thing as ‘safe’ sex?
‘Safe’ sex means that you know that you are safe from
any potential sexually transmitted infection. Safe sex
means that childbirth is not something to be avoided, but to be welcomed as a gift from God. This kind
of safe sex can only be found in one type of relationship . . . one that is based upon a lasting,
permanent and faithful union of two people, joined as one. According to the teaching of the Catholic
Church, this is to be found only in the sacrament of Marriage.
Reflection:
Lord, help us to listen to our Word and to learn to love like you. Together as brothers and
sisters in the family of God, let us pray in the way that Jesus taught us to address our heavenly
Father: Our Father . . .
Extension Task:
Reflect on the following excerpt from the First Letter to the Corinthians:
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and who was
given to you by God? You do not belong to yourselves but to God; he bought you for a price. So
use your bodies for God’s glory.” (1 Cor. 6: 19-20)
• St Paul compares the human body to a temple. What is he trying to communicate through this
image?
• What does he mean when he says that “you do not belong to yourselves but to God”?
• What implications should this have for us in how we care for and regard our bodies?
page 27

Appendix 1
APPENDIX1
THE LIVING CHRIST
Saddened by the way that the people in his parish prepared themselves for Christmas and
the Nativity of the Lord, a parish priest in Brazil decided that he would do something
different to make his people understand the real meaning of Christmas. During Advent one year
he put his plan into place.
On the Sundays leading up to Christmas he had been telling the parishioners that the crib that
year would be different. For, rather than having a plaster figure of the Baby Jesus, as had
always happened, displayed in the crib this year would be the Living Christ. Each Sunday of
Advent he repeated his claim that those visiting the crib this year would see Christ.
Word quickly spread throughout the community, and many of the local people laughed at the
priest, thinking that he had gone quite mad. When Christmas Eve came, people flocked to
Midnight Mass to laugh at the priest.
The crib was set up so that the people could only look into it one at a time through a narrow
opening. As each person looked with curiosity into the crib, between the figures of Mary and
Joseph they saw their own faces reflected in a mirror.
The people understood the priest’s message that each one of them was the ‘Living Christ’.
Discussion points:
1 What message was the priest trying to give to the members of his Church?
2 Are there people in whom you would have difficulty in seeing Jesus?
3 Are other people able to see Jesus through you?
4 Should we only see Christ in other Christians?
APPENDIX2
CHILD/PARENT RELATIONSHIPS
“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man
around me. But when I got to 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”
(Mark Twain)
Discuss the following:
1 What do these words suggest about some parent/child relationships?
2 To what extent do you think this might be true?
3 Sometimes children forget that their parents were once young. Unfortunately, some
parents also forget this too. What do you think this means? Try to give some
examples.
page 28

Appendix 3
APPENDIX3
AT THE GATES OF HEAVEN
Read the following and use the reflection in Session 3 of the Student Book as a means to
further discussion:
Aman dies and goes up to Heaven, where he finds himself a long queue. He was a bit
surprised to see so many people waiting to get in, but rather than complain about it – it’s not
a good idea to make enemies once you are dead – he decided to just wait in line.
After waiting for quite a while, the man eventually appeared before St Peter, who was standing
at a tall table on which there was an enormous book. As the man approached, St Peter started
thumbing through the pages of the book, and a frown appeared across his forehead. The man
said to St Peter, “I lived on earth for 65 years, during which time no harm did I do to anyone I
met”, and with this proud boast was sure that he would soon be entering Heaven.
St Peter continued to pour over the pages, searching and searching and frowning all the while.
The man was becoming a little impatient by now and was about to speak when St Peter
stopped him in his tracks. “Yes, it is true”, said St Peter, “in all your years on earth you did not
do anyone harm.” The man beamed, expecting the gates to sweep open and for him to be
escorted to the place reserved for him. “The problem is,” said St Peter, “though you never did
anyone any harm, I can find no evidence of you having done any good!”
St Peter closed the book and the man walked away in despair.
Discussion points:
• Why do you think the man was so confident that he would be received into heaven?
• Are you surprised at what St Peter told the man?
• What message do you think this story has for us?
• What does this mean for any relationships we may have?
page 29

Appendix 3
APPENDIX4
THE PARABLE OF THE GOOD SAMARITAN
(Luke 10:25-37)
A teacher of the Law came up and tried to trap Jesus.
“Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to receive eternal life?”
Jesus answered him, “What do the Scriptures say? How do you interpret them?”
The man answered, “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your strength, and with all your
mind’; and ‘Love your neighbour as you love yourself.’”
“You are right,” Jesus replied; “do this and you will live.”
But the teacher of the Law wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbour?”
Jesus answered, “There was once a man who was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho when robbers
attacked him, stripped him, and beat him up, leaving him half dead. It so happened that a priest was going
down that road; but when he saw the man, he walked on by, on the other side. In the same way a Levite
also came along, went over and looked at the man, and then walked by, on the other side.
But a Samaritan who was travelling that way came upon the man, and when he saw him, his heart was
filled with pity. He went over to him, poured oil and wine on his wounds and bandaged them; then he put
the man on his own animal and took him to an inn, where he took care of him.
The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Take care of him,’ he told the
innkeeper, ‘and when I come back this way, I will pay you whatever else you spend on him.’”
And Jesus concluded, “In your opinion, which of these three acted like a neighbour towards the man
attacked by the robbers?”
The teacher of the Law answered, “The one who was kind to him.”
Jesus replied, “You go, then, and do the same.”
page 30

Appendix 5
APPENDIX5
UNIVERSAL DECLARATION OF
HUMAN RIGHTS (United Nations, 1948)
www.un.org/Overview/rights.html
On the 10th of December 1948 the General Assembly of the United Nations adopted and
proclaimed the Universal Declaration of Human Rights in which are outlined, in 30 articles, the
basic human rights to which each and every individual human being is entitled.
The following is a summary of the main points:
Right to life, liberty, property and security of person
Right to an education
Right to employment, paid holidays, protection against unemployment and social security
Right to participate fully in cultural life
Freedom from torture or cruel, inhumane treatment or punishment
Freedom of thought, conscience and religion
Freedom of expression and opinion
• Do you think any of these human rights is achievable?
• Are there any particular times when these rights should not apply?
• Why do you think it was necessary to produce such an agreed statement in the first
place?
• What sort of world might we live in without them?
page 31

APPENDIX6
SPEAKING OUT FOR LIFE
The thoughts of Pastor Neimoller: Written while in prison in Nazi Germany
First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me
and by then there was no one left
to speak for me.
Appendix 8
APPENDIX7
UNTO US
by Spike Milligan
Somewhere at sometime
They committed themselves to me
And so I was!
Tiny in shape
Lusting to live!
I hung in my pulsing cave.
Soon they knew of me,
My mother - my father.
I had no say in my being.
I lived on trust
And love.
Tho' I couldn't think,
Each part of me was saying
A silent 'Wait for me!
I will bring you love!'
I was taken
Blind, naked, defenceless,
By the hand of one
Whose good name
Was graven on a brass plate
in Wimpole Street,
And dropped on the sterile floor
Of a foot-operated plastic waste bucket.
There was no Queen's Counsel,
To take my brief.
The cot I might have warmed
Stood in Harrod's shop window.
When my passing was told
My father smiled,
No grief filled my empty space.
My death was celebrated
With two tickets to see Danny La Rue
Who was pretending to be a woman
Like my mother was...
page 32

Appendix 8
APPENDIX8
REASONS FOR MARRYING
Top 5 reasons for getting married:
(source: ‘State of Australia Relationships’ Survey, 1998, www.relationships.com.au)
Signify a life-long commitment
Security for children
Public commitment
Legal status/financial security
Religious beliefs
Top 5 reasons for not getting married:
(source: ‘State of Australia Relationships’ Survey, 1998, www.relationships.com.au)
Fear of divorce and all it involves
Avoidance of commitment
Fear of making a mistake
Bad previous experience
Strong commitment does not need marriage
page 33

Appendix 8
APPENDIX9
PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE
The following is an indication of the information usually required to be provided prior to
marriage in any Catholic Church in Scotland. This is taken from what is known as a ‘pre-nuptial
enquiry’.
• Your name, address, age, religion and telephone number.
• The name, address, age, religion and telephone number of your proposed spouse.
• When and where you propose that your marriage will take place
• How long you have known each other.
• Which District Registrar must be informed
• Records (if appropriate) of any other pre-nuptial preparations from other sources.
Section2: Information on your Background
• Date and Place of Birth.
• Father’s Name.
• Mother’s name, including Maiden Name.
• Date and Place of Baptism.
• Date and Place of Confirmation.
• Do your parents support your decision to marry?
• How long you have lived at your present address?
• Any previous addresses, lived at for more than 6 months since aged 16 years and how long
you lived there?
• Your address after Marriage.
• Your occupation.
Section 3: Your Freedom to Marry
• Have you ever been married before?
• Name of spouse.
• Place and date of marriage.
• If divorced, state when and where.
• Have you received a decree of nullity from a Church Tribunal?
• If so, when and where?
• Are you bound by any religious vow?
• Are you related to your proposed spouse by blood or marriage?
• Is your proposed spouse Baptised?
• If so, where and when?
page 34

Appendix 8
APPENDIX9
(continued)
Section 4: Your Understanding of Marriage
• Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?
• Do you accept that marriage is a union between one man and one woman which is for life?
• Do you realise and accept that the marriage bond cannot be dissolved by any purely human
authority?
• Do you realise and accept that the marriage bond is an exclusive one which binds you to be
faithful to each other until death?
• Do you realise and accept that marriage exists for the development of your love for one
another and for the procreation of children?
• Do you then clearly understand and intend to accept what marriage entails:
- in relation to faithfulness, love and support for one another?
- In relation to children and their upbringing?
• What was the result of your discussion with your partner concerning these responsibilities?
• Do you understand and accept that Marriage was instituted by God and that between the
baptised it has been given the additional dignity of a Sacrament by Christ?
Section 5: Questions for the Priest
• How well do you know the person interviewed?
• What do you know about his or her faith and religious practice?
• Are you satisfied that he/she is free to marry?
• Are you satisfied that he/she understands the concept of marriage as outlined in Section 3?
• Are you satisfied that he/she is capable, with the help of God, of assuming and carrying out
the essential demands and responsibilities of Marriage?
• Any other relevant comment on the character of the person interviewed or on his/her
suitability for marriage?
Section 6: Permissions & Delegations from the Parish
a Permission to marry outside the Parish
b Delegation to another Priest, not of the Parish, e.g. relative/friend, etc.
This form must be signed and dated by both the person making the application for approval
and the relevant Priest of the Parish, including any delegated Priest who may perform the
ceremony.
page 35

Appendix 8
APPENDIX10
THE CATHOLIC RITE
OF MARRIAGE
(Excerpt)
Priest:
________ and ________, you have come together in this Church so that
the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of the Church’s minister
and this community. Christ abundantly blesses this love. He has already consecrated
you in baptism and now he enriches and strengthens you by a special sacrament so
that you may assume the duties of marriage in mutual and lasting fidelity. And so, in
the presence of the Church, I ask you to state your intentions.
________ and ________, I shall now ask if you freely undertake the obligations of
marriage, and to state that there is no legal impediment to your marriage. Are you
ready freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?
Groom:
Bride:
Priest:
Groom:
Bride:
Priest:
Groom:
Bride:
I am.
I am.
Are you ready to love and honour each other as man and wife for the rest of your
lives?
I am.
I am.
Are you ready to accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to
the law of Christ and his Church?
I am.
I am.
The Groom first and then the Bride repeat after the Priest:
I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I
________ may not be joined in matrimony to ________.
The Priest then invites the couple to declare their consent:
Priest:
Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, declare your consent before God and
his Church.
To the Bridegroom first, and then the Bride, the priest says:
Priest:
Groom:
Priest:
________ will you take ________ here present for your lawful wife, according to the
rite of our Holy Mother the Church?
I will.
________ will you take ________ here present for your lawful husband, according to
the rite of our Holy Mother the Church?
page 36

Appendix 8
APPENDIX10 (continued) page 37
Bride:
I will.
The Bride and Groom join their right hands.
Groom:
Bride:
Priest:
All:
Priest:
All:
I call upon these persons here present to witness that I ________ do take thee
________ to be my lawful wedded wife to have and to hold from this day
forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sicknes and in health, to
love and to cherish, till death us do part.
I call upon these persons here present to witness that I ________ do take thee
________ to be my lawful wedded husband to have and to hold from this day
forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to
love and to cherish, till death us do part.
You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness
strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined
together, let no man put asunder.
Amen.
May the Lord bless this ring (these rings) which you give (to each other) as the sign
of your love and fidelity.
Amen.
Husband: ________, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the
Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Wife:
________, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of The
Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Appendix 8
APPENDIX11
SARAH’S STORY
Sarah is a 23-year old youth worker, who lives with her divorced mother, Angela, 52. Also at
home, in a three-bedroom semi-detached in Northwich, Cheshire, is her brother Adam, 18.
Sarah says, “Anticipating sex is like looking forward to opening my presents on Christmas
morning. Doing it now, before I got married, would spoil the surprise and enjoyment. My
boyfriend, James and I have been together for four years and we’re planning to marry after he
graduates next year. Suddenly we will be allowed to make love – the one thing that we have
always forbidden ourselves – and we are longing to find out what it’s like.”
“It was my decision to remain a virgin. My mother and I have never had a conversation
specifically about sex, so it would be wrong to say that she pressurised me into it. Moral
guidelines, such as not doing anything that would either hurt me or other people, were certainly
set out at home, but it was left to me to obey them or go my own way. From about the age of 16
there was immense pressure at college to have sex. My friends seemed to accept that sleeping
around was normal behaviour, but something inside me kept on saying, ‘Don’t do it.’ I saw girls
seeking love and fulfilment through sex – but all they found was disappointment and insecurity.
Their example was enough to put me off. A girl would sleep with a boy only to find herself
dumped for the latest female arrival, and many of my friends were hurt in this way.”
“I’m sure some of the boys thought I was frigid, although no one ever said it, but I couldn’t care
less. Losing my virginity is a big thing to me – not simply a rite of passage, to be got out of the
way as soon as possible. I was lucky that my friends respected me for my decision rather than
regarding me as a freak.”
“Waiting for sex means I have really got to know James in every other way. He is my best friend
as well as the man I love, trust and respect. So I am certain our fulfilment and level of intimacy
when we do have sex will be that much greater than if we had slept together earlier.”
Daily Mail, 24 May 2002 (abridged)
page 38

Appendix 8
APPENDIX12a
NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING
Natural Family Planning is a method of birth control that enables a couple to recognise
fertile and infertile times in a woman’s monthly cycle. The information provided by this
method allows a couple to plan for having children, allowing for the spacing out of children and
regulating the number of children that are born.
NFP must be taught by a trained tutor or teacher, such as those who work for Fertility Care
Scotland, and empowers a couple with a far greater understanding of and respect for both
male and female fertility. It places responsibility on both partners in a relationship, not just one,
and used according to the training given, is 98% effective.
This method of birth control is a holistic and natural way of avoiding or planning a pregnancy
and does not involve the use of any artificial hormones or substances. Natural Family
Planning has no side effects, and in itself offers no protection against STIs. However, because
of its very nature, NFP works best in a loving, faithful and committed relationship, where STIs
should not be of concern to a couple.
NFP gives the woman a far greater awareness of her own body, and when used properly
within a lasting, permanent relationship, allows the couple to exercise self-restraint and
respect for each other by abstaining from sexual intercourse during fertile times to avoid a
pregnancy, or by having sexual intercourse during fertile times in order to have a child.
Natural Family Planning involves being able, after training, to recognise changes in the female
body, such as the texture and thickness of the vaginal mucus secretion, the woman’s body
temperature, and identifying the length of the menstrual cycle. Since this involves a lot of time
and patience Natural Family Planning is not ideally suited for a casual relationship or where a
number of partners may be involved. But it is ideally suited to marriage, since marriage
provides the proper context not just for sexual intercourse, but also for working with your
spouse in regulating the size of your family.
page 39

Appendix 8
APPENDIX12b
CONTRACEPTION
Contraception refers to a number of methods aimed at preventing a pregnancy, some of
which are referred to as ‘barrier’ methods, whilst other involve the use of hormones, either in
the form of a pill, an injection or an implant. Some forms of contraception involve the insertion
of small devices inside the woman’s body or a surgical procedure performed either in a
doctor’s surgery or in hospital.
Barrier methods of contraception are so called because they quite literally present a barrier
that prevents sperm and egg from meeting. Examples of barrier methods are condoms (male
and female), the diaphragm, the cap, and the use of spermicides. These need to be utilised
prior to close sexual contact between the penis and the vagina, and require care in handling
as this can have a seriously detrimental impact on their effectiveness. Used properly, barrier
methods of contraception offer a very high rate of efficacy in preventing pregnancy, and with
the exception of spermicides on their own, also offer considerable protection against STIs.
Hormonal contraceptives typically involve the swallowing of a pill to be taken at the same
time each day for 21 days, with seven days in between before beginning a new course. Each
pill contains a dose of either a hormone called progesterone on its own, or a combination of
both progesterone and oestrogen, and these hormones combine to suppress ovulation and/or
thicken the mucus in the neck of the womb, making it difficult for sperm and egg to meet.
Other hormonal contraceptives include a direct injection of the hormone progesterone, or the
insertion of a small implant containing the same hormone under the skin, usually at the top of
the inner arm. Used properly, hormonal contraceptives are between 98% and 99% effective,
but can have side effects such as headaches, weight gain, acne, nausea, etc. Hormonal
contraceptives offer no protection against STIs.
Intra-Uterine contraceptives are so called because they involve the insertion of small
devices into the womb and which are able to stay there for a number of years, depending on
the type used. The IUD is a small plastic and copper device which prevents sperm and egg
from meeting or, failing this, makes it much more difficult for a fertilised egg to implant in the
womb. Many people believe that life begins at conception, when fertilisation occurs, therefore
this form of birth control is technically abortifacient in the act of preventing implantation of the
fertilised egg. The IUS is a small plastic device containing progesterone that works in a
similar way to the IUD, and in preventing the implantation of a fertilised egg, its action may
also be referred to as abortifacient. Both forms of intra-uterine contraceptives are highly
effective but offer no protection against STIs.
Contraception can also be achieved through a surgical procedure known as sterilisation,
where the male tubes (vas deferens) which carry sperm are cut, or the female (fallopian) tubes
are cut or sealed. Both forms of surgical contraception are permanent and extremely effective,
although they offer no protection against STIs.
page 40

APPENDIX
13
NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING AND
METHODS OF CONTRACEPTION
NATURAL METHOD:
WHAT IT IS:
HOW IT WORKS:
EFFICACY:
HOW IT WORKS:
EFFICACY:
NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING (NFP)
• Method enabling couples to recognise fertile and infertile times in a
woman’s menstrual cycle.
• No side effects.
• No artificial hormones or substances are taken into the body.
• Gives the woman a greater awareness of her body.
• A holistic and natural way of avoiding and planning a pregnancy. The
Billings Ovulation Method
• Observing and recording cervical mucus sensation and secretion as
it leaves the vagina.
• When used correctly in accordance with the teaching of a trained
NFP teacher it is 98-99% effective for avoidance of pregnancy.
Couple co-operation and motivation required.
• This means that 1-2 women in every 100 will get pregnant in a year.
The Symptothermal Method
• Recording the woman’s body temperature.
• Recording cervical mucus secretion.
• Identifying the length of the menstrual cycle.
• When used correctly in accordance with the teaching of a trained
NFP teacher it is 95-98% effective for avoidance of pregnancy.
Couple co-operation and motivation required.
• This means that 2-5 women will get pregnant in a year.
NATURAL METHOD:
WHAT IT IS:
HOW IT WORKS:
EFFICACY:
COITUS INTERRUPTUS (WITHDRAWAL METHOD)
• The withdrawal of the penis from the vagina prior to ejaculation.
• One of the most ancient methods known to mankind, it is reliant on a
high degree of control by the male partner, since semen leakage can
occur prior to ejaculation and also sperm deposited in the vulva can
reach the uterus.
• 81% to 96%?? But difficult to determine accurately as not
recommended as a form of contraception.
• This means that 4 to 19 women in 100 will get pregnant in a year.
page 41

APPENDIX
13
(continued)
BARRIER METHOD:
WHAT IT IS:
HOW IT WORKS:
EFFICACY:
MALE CONDOM
• A sheath of latex rubber or polyurethane, often lubricated with
spermicide. (Condoms coated with spermicide Non-oxynol 9 have
been removed from the market and are no longer recommended; the
vaginal reaction caused by the spermicide increased the
transmission of infection, including HIV/AIDS).
• Must be placed over the erect penis before the penis touches the
vagina.
• Stops sperm from entering the woman’s vagina and so not able to
reach the egg.
• May offer both partners some protection from sexually transmitted
infections, including HIV, but not Genital Warts or Herpes which are
carried on the skin surface, not just the penis.
• Spermicidal creams recommended with condom use.
• Not recommended if there is a history of allergic reaction to latex
rubber.
• If used according to instructions it is 95-98% effective, but higher
failure rates are seen in younger age groups (86%).
• This means that 2 women in every 100 will get pregnant in a year,
and possibly 14 young women or teens.
• Accurate figures for prevention of STIs not currently available. As
pregnancy can only occur on a few days in the menstrual cycle,
effectiveness rates for STIs are significantly lower as infection can
be transmitted any day in the cycle. An effectiveness rate of 83%
has been quoted for HIV/AIDS.
BARRIER METHOD:
WHAT IT IS:
HOW IT WORKS:
EFFICACY:
FEMALE CONDOM
• A thin soft polyurethane sheath made to line the area in and just
outside the vagina.
• Must be inserted prior to penetration by penis.
• Stops sperm from entering the vagina so not able to reach the egg.
• May offer both partners some protection from STIs.
• Care must be taken to make sure there is no slippage.
• Spermicidal creams recommended with condom use.
• If used according to instructions it is 95% effective, but in typical use
figures of 79% have been found.
• This means that 5-21 women in every 100 will get pregnant in a
year.
• Accurate figures for prevention of STIs not currently available.
page 42

APPENDIX
13
(continued)
BARRIER METHOD:
WHAT IT IS:
HOW IT WORKS:
EFFICACY:
DIAPHRAGM / CAP
• The diaphragm and the cap are devices made from either rubber or
silicone designed to fit over the cervix.
• They need to be measured and fitted by a doctor or nurse to ensure
that they are the correct size.
• They act as a barrier preventing sperm from entering the uterus.
• Need to be put in before having sex and must stay in place for at
least six hours after sex.
• Spermicidal cream recommended with cap and diaphragm use.
• Not recommended if there is a history of latex rubber allergic
reaction.
• May protect against some STIs.
• If used according to instructions diaphragms and caps are 92% to
96% effective. In typical use 60-80% effectiveness rates are found.
• This means that between 4 and 40 women will get pregnant in a
year. A higher failure rate is found with the cap if the woman has had
a baby.
BARRIER METHOD:
WHAT IT IS:
HOW IT WORKS:
EFFICACY:
SPERMICIDES
• A cream, gel, pessary or aerosol containg a spermicide which must
be inserted directly into the vagina.
• One dose of spermicide must be injected into the vagina before
each act of sex.
• The chemical in the spermicide kills the sperm.
• May cause inflammatory reaction in the vaginal lining.
• Spermicides do not provide reliable contraception when used alone.
• Must be used in conjunction with a barrier form of contraceptive.
page 43

APPENDIX
13
(continued)
HORMONAL:
WHAT IT IS:
HOW IT WORKS:
EFFICACY:
COMBINED ORAL CONTRACEPTIVE (COC)
• Often referred to as ‘the pill’.
• The combined pill contains two steroid hormones; synthetic oestrogen
and a progesterone-like compound, a progestogen.
• The oestrogen works by switching off the signals preventing the ovary
from releasing an egg – this is described as suppressing ovulation.
• The progestogen works by causing the mucus in the neck of the
womb to thicken, making it difficult for sperm to enter the womb.
• It also keeps the womb lining thin, preventing implantation of the
fertilised egg should there be a breakthrough ovulation.
• One pill is taken at the same time each day for 21 days, then no pill
for 7 days and bleeding occurs due to the hormones being withdrawn.
• If taken according to instructions is 95-99% effective.
• This means that 1-5 women in every 100 will get pregnant in a year.
• Not effective if taken over 12 hours late or after vomiting or severe
diarrhoea.
• Some medicines, such as antibiotics, lessen/negate the use of the pill.
• Can cause minor side effects such as headaches, breast tenderness,
nausea, weight gain, skin problems, etc. More serious are the
problems caused by the effect of the pill on blood clotting. Deep Vein
Thrombosis (DVT) – usually in the legs – may lead to strokes, heart
attacks, lung problems (pulmonary embolism) and even death.
• There is a slightly increased risk of breast cancer and cancer of the
womb lining.
• Offers no protection against STIs.
HORMONAL:
WHAT IT IS:
HOW IT WORKS:
EFFICACY:
PROGESTERONE-ONLY PILL (POP)
• A pill consisting solely of a steroid compound similar to the female
hormone progesterone – a progestogen.
• Causes the mucus at the neck of the womb to thicken, making it difficult
for sperm to enter the womb or for the womb to accept a fertilised egg.
• Thinning of the womb lining prevents implantation of a fertilised egg
• May stop ovulation in some women.
• Has to be taken at the same time every day.
• If used according to instructions it is 95-98% effective.
• This means that 2-5 women in every 100 will get pregnant in a year.
• Not effective if taken more than three hours late or after vomiting or
severe diarrhoea.
• Some medicines, such as antibiotics, lessen/negate the use of the POP.
• Minor side effects similar to the combined pill may be experienced.
There is also a risk of blood clotting in susceptible individuals.
• Offers no protection against STIs.
page 44

APPENDIX
13
(continued)
HORMONAL:
WHAT IT IS:
HOW IT WORKS:
EFFICACY:
CONTRACEPTIVE INJECTION
• An injection of a steroid compound similar to the hormone progesterone –
a progestogen.
• There are two different types of injection; one lasts for 8 weeks and the
other for 12 weeks.
• The Progestogen is slowly released into the woman’s body.
• This prevents the ovary from releasing an egg.
• It also thickens the cervical mucus to prevent sperm from meeting an egg.
• It also keeps the womb lining thin, preventing implantation of a fertilised
egg should ovulation happen.
• May either stop the menstrual bleeding altogether, or in some women may
result in persistent bleeding.
• If taken according to instructions is over 99% effective.
• This means that fewer than 1 woman in very 100 will get pregnant in a
year.
• Cannot be removed from the body.
• Can cause side effects such as weight gain, headaches, acne, tender
breasts, mood swings and bloating, and all of the above side effects for
the Progesterone Only Pill.
• Return to fertility may be delayed.
• Significant loss of bone density noted with increasing duration of use and
particularly of concern during adolescence which is a critical period for
‘bone building.’
• Offers no protection against STIs.
HORMONAL:
WHAT IT IS:
HOW IT WORKS:
EFFICACY:
INTRA-UTERINE DEVICE (IUD)
• A small plastic and copper device which is inserted into the womb.
• It can stay in for 3 to 10 years depending on the type, but can be taken out
at any time.
• Designed to cause a reaction in the womb lining, making it difficult for a
fertilised egg to implant in the womb.
• This is what is called an abortifacient action.
• Copper in the device may affect the sperm, stopping them from reaching the
egg.
• Works as soon as it is inserted.
• If taken according to instructions is 98% to 99% effective.
• This means that less than two women in every 100 will get pregnant in a
year.
• Periods may be heavier and longer with cramping pain.
• The coil may be expelled from the uterus.
• There is an increased risk of ectopic pregnancy (outside the womb).
• Risk of Pelvic Inflammatory Disease from infection, leading to blocked tubes
and future infertility.
• Offers no protection against STIs.
page 45

APPENDIX
13
(continued)
SURGICAL:
WHAT IT IS:
HOW IT WORKS:
EFFICACY:
INTRA-UTERINE SYSTEM (IUS)
• Small plastic device which releases progesterone-like compound
into the womb.
• Works for 5 years but can be taken out at any time.
• Stops a fertilised egg from implanting in the womb as the lining is
kept thin.
• This is an abortifacient action.
• Stops the sperm from reaching the egg by thickening the cervical
mucus.
• May stop an egg being released in some women.
• Works as soon as it is inserted.
• If used according to instructions it is over 99% effective.
• This means that fewer than 1 woman in every 100 will get pregnant
in a year.
• Periods usually lighter and may stop altogether.
• The coil may be expelled from the uterus.
• There is an increased risk of ectopic pregnancy (outside the womb).
• Risk of Pelvic Inflammatory Disease from infection, leading to
blocked tubes and future infertility.
• Side effects associated with Progesterone Only Pill may also be
experienced.
• Offers no protection against STIs.
SURGICAL:
WHAT IT IS:
HOW IT WORKS:
EFFICACY:
MALE STERILISATION (VASECTOMY)
• Permanent method in which the tubes (vas deferens) that carry the
sperm from the testicles to the penis are cut and sealed so sperm
are not present in the semen.
• Minor operation lasting 10-15 minutes and can be done in a doctor’s
surgery or clinic.
• Prevents any sperm being released during sexual intercourse.
• Usually takes a few months for all of the sperm to disappear from
the semen.
• It is considered permanent but occasionally reversible depending on
how the surgery was done and how long ago.
• It is over 99% effective.
• Lifetime failure rate is 1 in 600.
• The tubes may re-open.
• Still open to the possibility of contracting STIs.
page 46

APPENDIX
13
(continued)
SURGICAL:
WHAT IT IS:
HOW IT WORKS:
EFFICACY:
FEMALE STERILISATION
• Permanent method in which the fallopian tubes are cut or blocked.
• Performed in hospital, and time varies from one to three days,
depending on type of operation.
• An egg released from the ovary cannot travel down the fallopian
tube to meet the sperm.
• It is over 99% effective.
• Lifetime failure rate is 1 in 2000.
• The fallopian tubes may rejoin and the woman may become fertile
again.
• Offers no protection against STIs.
EMERGENCY:
WHAT IT IS:
HOW IT WORKS:
EFFICACY:
EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTIVE PILL (EC72),
E.G. LEVONELLE ONE-STEP
• Combined oestrogen and progesterone pill.
• Sometimes 2 pills taken 12 hours apart, or as a single pill.
• Taken up to 72 hours after intercourse.
• May stop an egg being released from the ovary (ovulation) if taken in
days before egg release.
• May prevent a fertilised egg from settling in the womb after egg
release (implantation).
• This is an abortifacient action.
• Over 90% effective if taken within hours of intercourse.
• Level of effectiveness drops sharply the longer the time after
intercourse that pill(s) are taken.
• Offers no protection against STIs.
page 47

page 48

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