CTL S6 Teacher Book

Teaching Notes 

S6 

Responsible 

in Love

KEY MESSAGES FOR YOUNG PEOPLE 

“We are not some casual product of evolution. 

Each of us is the result of a thought of God. 

Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary.” 

(Pope Benedict XVI) 

1. You are a special human being, created by God in his own image 

and likeness, gifted with unique talents and potential for life. 

2. You are called to love - to know the love of God, of family and of 

friends - and to love others as you are loved by God. 

3. God loves all people as his children. You are called to show 

respect for all people, even when their views and actions, their 

values and beliefs, are different from your own. 

4. Your sexuality is an important and intimate feature of your person, 

given to you as part of God’s plan for your happiness and your 

life’s vocation. You should cherish it and ensure that it is not 

exploited. 

5. Your sexuality makes it natural for you to be attracted to other 

people. Such attraction can lead to strong emotional and physical 

feelings which should always be expressed with modesty and 

respect, both for your self and for others. 

6. The ultimate sexual expression of such attraction should be an 

expression of true love, in which you commit to being faithful in 

marriage to a husband or wife, for life. Such total gift of self – 

body, emotions and soul – is a great responsibility and requires 

careful preparation and total commitment by both partners. 

7. You are called to share with God in the creation of new life 

through the rearing of children in a loving family which should be 

a reflection of God’s love. 

8. You are loved by God who shows compassion when things go 

wrong, who helps to heal wounded relationships, who forgives 

when your actions fail to match your ideals.

Responsible in Love: CONTENTS 

Session Session Page 

number title number 

INTRODUCTION 3 

1 MY STANDPOINT 4 

2 MY DESIRES AND EXPECTATIONS 7 

3 UNDERSTANDING HUMANITY 10 

4 THE PURSUIT OF PLEASURE 13 

5 THE OBJECT OF DESIRE 16 

6 IN GOD’S IMAGE AND LIKENESS 19 

7 DESIGN AND PURPOSE 22 

8 GOD’S IMAGE REFLECTED THROUGH ME 25 

9 TRUTH OR LIES? 28 

10 HAVING SEX OR MAKING LOVE? 31 

11 USING OR LOVING? 34 

12 SAFE(R) SEX? 37 

Appendix Appendix Page 

number title number 

1 FIRST LOVE 40 

2 TWO PHILOSOPHICAL VIEWPOINTS 42 

3 A MORAL DILEMMA 42 

4 PLEASURE MACHINE? 43 

5 MAN AND WOMAN 43 

6 METHODS OF CONTRACEPTION 44 

Resource Resource Sheet Page 

Sheet title number 

1 MY STANDPOINT 56 

2 THE VIEWS OF OTHERS 57 

3 CHARACTERS’ VIEWPOINTS 58 

4 RESPECTING DIGNITY 59 

5 USING OBJECTS 60 

6 REASONS FOR LIVING TOGETHER 61 

7 CARD SORT 62 

8 USING ANOTHER: SOME CONSEQUENCES 63

Responsible in Love: INTRODUCTION 

“Real love is demanding. I would fail in my mission if I did not tell you so. 

Love demands a personal commitment to the will of God.” 

(Pope John Paul II) 

What does it mean to be fully human? What do we mean by the term ‘sexuality’? And how 

does our understanding of both our humanity and our sexuality impact on the relationships 

we have? Human sexuality is an integral part of who we are, and as we grow in faith as young 

adults, sexual morality becomes a significant issue in our lives. 

In today’s world, sex seems to have been reduced to a commodity, something that can be 

bought or sold, something which should be pursued, for the purpose of pleasure alone. Against 

this backdrop the Catholic Church is often portrayed as being negative or interfering. 

Pope John Paul II left a legacy in what is known as ‘The Theology of the Body’. This is the 

working title given to a series of 129 short talks delivered between September of 1979 and 

November of 1984 in what became known as his ‘Wednesday Audiences’. In this work, the first 

teaching project of his Pontificate, Pope John Paul II offers a particular vision of human 

page 3 

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SESSION 

1 

MY STANDPOINT 

CEC Learning Outcomes 

Level 16+: A1, B4, B5, C2, D1, D2, D3, 

E3, E4 

Key Messages: 4 and 5 

Themes: 

1. Attitudes to sex and relationships. 

2. What do I think? 

3. What do others think? 

Suggested Methodology: 

1. Establish Class Agreement 

2. Write class agreement on large sheet of paper 

and display in highly visible position. 

3. Read Introduction. 

4. Task 1.1. Distribute individual copies of Resource 

Sheet 1 to pupils who make individual responses. 

Resources: 

1. PowerPoint Slides 1-8. 

2. Responsible in Love Student Book. 

3. Resource Sheets 1 & 2 for each student. 

4. Pens/pencil. 

5. Task 1.2 Organise groups of 6. Distribute copy of 

Resource Sheet 2 to each group. Class 

discussion to review findings. 

6. Reflection: This may be read aloud by one or 

more pupils and incorporated into class prayer. 

7. Extension Task: written activity. 

Detailed Notes: 

Prior to reading any part of the Student Book with 

pupils, it is advisable to engage them in discussions 

about Establishing a Class Agreement. This is 

intended to clarify the rules which the class members 

agree to apply when working on Called to Love 

materials. Particular advice and exemplars are 

provided in Introducing Called to Love. 

It would be worthwhile taking a little time to use the 

Introduction to Session 1 as an opportunity to 

explore the significance of being ‘Responsible in 

Love’. 

Session 1 provides the opportunity of gauging the 

range of attitudes across the class. You may wish to 

refer back to this as the sessions progress to 

compare the answers given in light of the information 

presented and discussions held within the class. 

Task 1.1: Using Resource Sheet 1 and starting as 

an individual exercise to allow for personal 

responses, students are asked to respond to 12 

given statements by indicating the extent of their 

agreement or disagreement using a scale of 1 to 5 as 

follows: 

1 = Strongly Agree 2 = Agree 3 = Not Sure 

4 = Disagree 5 = Strongly Disagree 

Task 1.2: In mixed sex groups, students should 

compare their views on the previous statements and 

record these by gender on Resource Sheet 2. 

TIn class discussion it is not necessary to become 

too engaged in protracted discussions about any of 

the statements. These are only included by way of 

introduction, to give an indication of the topics and 

subject areas to be addressed in forthcoming 

sessions. 

The Extension Task provides an opportunity for 

students to write their own views on one of the 12 

statements listed on Resource Sheet 1. 

The ability to make considered judgements recognising the moral quality of an action is termed ‘conscience’. 

The judgement of conscience should be a prayerful one, made in consultation with people we can trust, with 

the aim of conforming to the truth. It should be adequately informed about the moral principles that apply to 

the act as these determine the moral quality of the act, as well as the circumstances and the intended moral 

good. In this judgement, a person confirms and takes responsibility for his or her own actions. Conscience is, 

then, that personal core and sanctuary where an individual stands before God. (Cherishing Life, 42) 

Conscience may be clouded by cultural perspectives or by honest ignorance, but in such cases the 

judgement of conscience does not lose its value. If someone has sincerely tried to discover and to follow the 

truth, but has mistakenly done something wrong, then he or she will not be at fault. Everyone is bound to 

follow their own best judgements and to take responsibility for their actions. However, recklessness or an 

unwillingness to find out what is the right thing to do will not excuse a person from blame if his or her bad 

choices result in wrong actions. Ignorance is not always an excuse. (Cherishing Life, 44) 

page 4

SESSION 

1 

Responsible in Love: 

MY STANDPOINT 

“In the first place I say this: you must never think that you are alone in deciding your 

future. And second: when deciding your future, you must not decide for yourself alone!” 


Learning objectives for students: 

• to express their opinions on sexual relationships; 

• to explore male and female attitudes to sexual matters. 

What is your standpoint on the subject of sex and relationships? What values and principles 

determine your words and actions? Who are you most likely to listen to when discussing 

sexual health matters? What sort of things do you find to be either acceptable or unacceptable in 

relation to sexual behaviour? 

TASK 1.1 

WHAT DO I THINK ABOUT SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS? 

Look at the list of 12 statements on Resource Sheet 1. 

Using a scale of 1 to 5 (1 = strongly agree, 5 = strongly disagree) indicate which statements you 

agree or disagree with. 

page 4 

page 5

TASK 1.2 

WHAT DO OTHERS THINK ABOUT SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS? 

In mixed groups of approximately 6 people compare your answers to Task 1.1 and record your 

findings in the grid on Resource Sheet 2 

How many people agree with your viewpoint? Do the males and females in your group share the 

same view? 

Discuss the outcomes of this exercise. 

Reflection: 

As a young adult, you are free to make choices in 

relation to a wide range of life issues. Of course, with 

this freedom comes a massive amount of responsibility. 

You cannot have freedom without responsibility – 

responsibility to yourself and to others. 

The Catholic Church does not seek to control your life 

or to tell you how to think. Rather, it seeks to present to 

you a particular vision of human love and sexuality that 

will lead to true freedom and the ability to make right 

choices and to take responsibility for your decisionmaking. 

Aristotle said: ‘An unexamined life is not worth living.’ It is crucial that we continually examine 

the way we live, act and speak. We need to reassess our priorities, what’s important to us, what 

we are living for and what the purpose of life is. 

O God, you have made us in your image and we long to see your face. Inspire us so to walk 

the way of your truth and to leave the imprint of your goodness on this world. 

Extension Task: 

Choose ONE of the statements listed on Resource Sheet 1. Write a few paragraphs to explain 

your personal views on this particular issue. 

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SESSION 

2 

MY DESIRES AND 

EXPECTATIONS 


Level 16+: B1, D3, E3, F2, F3 

Key Messages: 1, 4 and 5 

Themes: 

1. What do we want from relationships? 

2. What do boys & girls want from sex? 

3. Relationship case studies. 


1. Review Class Agreement with students. 


3. Task 2.1 If possible, listen to or watch ‘Summer 

Nights’ from ‘Grease’ and use the related 

questions as a basis for discussion. 

4. Task 2.2 Organise students into mixed groupings 

Resources: 



3. Music / movie excerpts. 

of approximately 6 people and direct each group 

to one of the scenarios outlined in Appendix 1. 

5. Whole Class review of findings. 



7. Extension Task: Written activity. 


In the first session we considered a variety of 

attitudes in relation to sex and relationships by 

having the students respond to a number of given 

statements. Session 2 asks what we want from 

relationships, and more importantly, whether we all 

want the same thing, especially in comparing the 

attitudes of males and females. 

Task 2.1: Using the song ‘Summer Nights’ from the 

‘Grease’, (or another song) students are asked to 

consider how relationships can be viewed from more 

than one perspective. You can take this opportunity 

to open up a discussion on relationships. ‘Summer 

Nights’ is a light-hearted commentary on how 

relationships can often be stereotyped. However, in 

Task 2.2, students are asked to consider aspects of 

relationships at a deeper level and to begin to 

develop a greater understanding of the importance in 

making good, moral choices in their lives. 

Task 2.2: involves students working in mixed 

groupings of approximately 6 people, to read over 

and discuss one of four scenarios outlined in 

Appendix 1, using the questions provided as 

prompts for their discussion. 

Students will require approximately 15 minutes for 

the discussion of their specific scenario, after which 

the class should be brought back together to review 

their findings. 

When discussing the scenarios, you may wish to 

consider some of the following issues: 

• intensity of feelings which can lead to sex; 

• how sex can change a relationship; 

• different expectations in relationships; 

• casual sex; 

• the influence of alcohol on decisions to have sex; 

• influence of peer pressure; 

• consequences - pregnancy, STIs, emotional 

damage. 

The Reflection asks us to think about what can 

happen in relationships and offers a prayer for love 

and friendship. 

The Extension Task provides an opportunity for 

students to take another scenario from Appendix 1 

and to write answers to the given questions. 

In order to be able to integrate our sexual desires with the rest of our personality and with what is important in 

our lives we need to develop the right disposition. Christians call this disposition the virtue of chastity. This 

virtue includes sensitivity to a person’s situation and to the circumstances in which people find themselves. 

Where a relationship is possible and appropriate, it is right for a couple to express affection and mutual 

attraction, and for married couples to express their love through sexual intercourse. On the other hand, if a 

particular relationship is inappropriate, it is wrong to foster sexual desires towards the person concerned. For 

married couples, showing sexual affection is a positive virtue and an aspect of their mutual communication. 

Chastity is a virtue both for those who are married and for those who are single. It means thinking and acting 

appropriately with friends or with colleagues and, within a relationship, being honest and sensitive without 

selfishness or thoughtlessness hindering the communication of love. Self-restraint will always be at the 

service of genuine love and sensitivity. (Cherishing Life, 105) 

page 7

SESSION 

2 


MY DESIRES AND 

EXPECTATIONS 

“The greater the feeling of responsibility for the other person, the more true love there is.” 



• to explore the extent to which males and females view sex and relationships in the same way; 

• to consider what it is that we want from sex. 

During this session and those which follow you will be asked to consider your own attitudes to 

relationships and sexual behaviour. At the same time you will be presented with the Catholic 

Church’s vision of human sexuality and the meaning of sexual intercourse. 

Before we do this, however, we are going to consider what it is that males and females want or 

expect from relationships. 

TASK 2.1 

WHAT DO WE DESIRE FROM SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS? 

If possible, either watch the appropriate excerpt from the musical ‘Grease’ or listen to the song 

‘Summer Nights’ which comes from the music soundtrack. (or choose another film which shows 

different attitudes to relationships). 

Discuss: 

1. How would you describe the two main characters as they are portrayed in this song? 

2. What are the differencea between them? 

3. What might this suggest about relationships? 

What do we expect from relationships? Do males and females have the same expectations? Over a 

period of time, it is possible to identify these expectations, as you get to know someone more fully. 

But is this true of all relationships? 

page 6 

page 8

TASK 2.2 

WHAT DO WE EXPECT FROM SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS? 

Working in mixed gender groups of approximately 6 people, each group should take 1 of the four 

scenarios described in Appendix 1 and complete the related discussion task. 

Discuss your findings with others. 

In the first two sessions we have considered a number of issues about relationships and our attitudes 

to sex and sexual behaviour. Relationships need work, but they also need a considerable amount of 

respect and responsibility. 

It is important to think ahead to what you want out of life and to plan ways to avoid things which might 

affect your plans. If we do not plan ahead, if we do not take responsibility for the decisions we make, 

we may find that the consequences of our choices demand a very high cost, of ourselves and of 

others with whom we share relationships. 

Are you prepared to pay that cost? 

Reflection: 

When things are going well for us, we sometimes lose a sense of how much we need God and 

others. The test of how much we believe in and trust God or others is when we are truly shaken 

in our lives. This can happen when a relationship goes sour, when someone takes ill, when we 

have money problems or a career setback. At these times, we discover who our true friends 

are. We can also be angry and lose faith in God. 

Lord, greater love has no one than to give his life for his friends. You are my friend and you 

gave up your life for me. Help me to be ready to give my life to another. 


Choose one of the scenarios from Appendix 1 which you did not examine in Task 2.2. Write 

answers to the questions provided. 

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SESSION 

3 

UNDERSTANDING HUMANITY 


Level 16+: B1, C2, E3 


Themes: 

1. Philosophy of morality. 

2. Hedonism. 

3. Utilitarianism. 




3. Task 3.1 Divide class into mixed groupings of 

approximately 6 people and direct groups to read 

Appendix 2. 

Resources: 



3. Large sheet of paper for each group. 

4. Distribute large sheet of paper to each group. 

5. Whole class review of findings – class discussion. 



7. Extension Task. Discuss quotation. 


In Session Three we begin to explore some of the 

influences that have shaped our understanding of 

humanity, and how these in turn influence our 

thinking in terms of our sexuality. Thinking about life 

and its meaning has absorbed the time and energy of 

some of the greatest thinkers the world has ever 

known, and over the years many theories or 

philosophies have been expounded in attempting to 

answer the question: ‘What is the meaning of life?’ 

As an Introduction to this session, we consider the 

meaning of the word ‘philosophy’ and what it is that 

philosophers seek to do. No detailed philosophical 

understanding or background is required from the 

teacher to work through this session. 

The main purpose of introducing philosophical 

thinking at this stage is to set the scene for the two 

main philosophical approaches that will be the focus 

of much of the discussion over the remaining 

sessions: Hedonism and Utilitarianism. A brief 

summary of what we understand by both Hedonism 

and Utilitarianism, is provided in Appendix 2. 

In Task 3.1, students are asked to work in mixed 

groups of approximately 6 and to think of real-life 

situations where either a hedonistic or utilitarian 

attitude is apparent. These suggestions are to be 

written down on the sheets of paper, and these will in 

turn provide the basis for a whole-class discussion. 

The text which follows Task 3.1 is intended to lead 

students to consider ethical and moral considertions 

which should be important in life. 

The Extension Task provides a from Cardinal 

Francis Arinze of Nigeria. 

Possible points for discussion might include: 

• What do you think is meant by ‘negative cultural 

elements’? 

• Why do you think the Church should wish to tackle 

them? 

• Can you think of any situations in everyday life 

where any of the above are to be seen? 

• Do you think it is right that the Church should take 

a stance in this way? 

Contemporary British society is characterised by a plurality of approaches to moral questions. One influential 

approach is the utilitarian idea that something is right if it results in the best consequences, as measured by 

the greatest happiness of the greatest number of people. This might seem reasonable at first sight. However, 

it can easily lead to discrimination against minorities, especially if happiness is defined simply as what people 

want or prefer. It is, of course, important, when weighing up possible courses of action, to consider their 

potential consequences, insofar as we can foresee them. However, the prospect of good consequences 

cannot justify acts which are morally wrong in themselves. It is always wrong intentionally to torture or kill an 

innocent person, even if pragmatic considerations might sometimes make such action seem attractive. Moral 

choices should promote true human flourishing and be fair and just to everyone. (Cherishing Life, 32) 

page 10

SESSION 

3 


UNDERSTANDING 

HUMANITY 

“The power to decide what is good and what is evil does not belong to man, but to God alone.” 



• to understand what we mean by the term ‘philosophy’; 

• to increase in knowledge of two philosophies: Hedonism and Utilitarianism; 

• to understand how such philosophies can influence our relationships. 

How we come to make decisions is a very complex process and there are many possible 

influences which play their part. Some of these influences come from things that we see, or hear, 

or from people we meet, and we will absorb these influences without being conscious of them. Other 

influences come from our own personal background, such as our family, cultural and ethnic origins. 

These same influences also shape our thinking in terms of our sexuality and sexual behaviour. 

How you understand yourself and how you understand others is very important in determining your 

views on sex, just as it influences your views on a number of social issues, including life and death 

issues and many other aspects of human life. 

Φιλοσοφια 

Does this word meaning anything to you? Unless you are a scholar 

of Classics, then it is unlikely to be intelligible to you. The symbols 

above are from the Greek alphabet and they spell out the word 

‘philo-sophia’, which translates as ‘love of wisdom’ (English word 

‘philosophy’). Philosophy is all about studying the meaning of life 

(not the Monty Python version) and involves thinking about and 

trying to understand different aspects of our world, and of our place 

in it. 

Our understanding of the human person has changed and evolved 

over time, and it will continue to do so as the human mind develops 

and technologies allow us to expand our understanding. 

Over the centuries, and in various cultures, there have been many 

schools of philosophy which have developed particular views of the 

world and particular methods of philosophical enquiry. Many 

philosophies have helped to shape our modern world and our 

understanding of what it means to be a human being. 

In this session we are going to consider two particular philosophies 

- Hedonism and Utilitarianism - which have had a significant bearing 

on how many people understand and shape their lives. 

page 8 

page 11

TASK 3.1 

MORALITY AND ETHICS 

Working in mixed groups of approximately 6 people, read the paragraph on either Hedonism or 

Utilitarianism in Appendix 2. 

Once you have done this, think of as many examples of this particular type of thinking: ie 

hedonistic or utilitarian. Discuss your findings. 

When we consider the ETHICS of a situation, we ponder the extent to which human behaviour is 

governed by rules, principles or values which determine what is good or bad, right or wrong - ie our 

MORAL conduct. Many areas of life are governed by ethical considerations, in terms of 

professional conduct being directed by agreed protocols and standards of behaviour. Some of these 

ethical considerations relate to values such as honesty, fair treatment, integrity which influence our 

conduct 

Other ethical considerations relate to our personal morality - how we act in our relationships where 

we demonstrate the level of our commitment to others in our words and actions. Where these 

relationships result in sexual activity, our physical appetites may be governed to a greater or lesser 

extent by our core values and by our personal dispositions or virtues, such as temperance, modesty 

and chastity. 

Ethical and moral considerations confront all of us at various 

stages in life, regardless of our religious or cultural background. 

When taking any moral action, we can choose to follow the 

moral principles in which we believe or to reject them. We can 

conform to our moral conscience or we can set it aside. 

When faced with an ethical problem, in deciding what is right 

or wrong, a person who has been influenced by a 

hedonistic outlook or by a utilitarian outlook would probably 

consider how the chosen action would affect personal 

pleasure or happiness. 

Reflection: 

God, may all who need your help today experience your love and compassion through us. Bless 

all the children of this world; protect them from all harm. May they come to know their worth and 

dignity as rightful citizens of this earth. 


Discuss: 

“The Catholic church is challenging such negative cultural elements as superstition, rugged 

individualism, materialism, hedonism, permissiveness and utilitarianism”. 

(Cardinal Francis Arinze of Nigeria) 

page 9 

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SESSION 

4 

THE PURSUIT OF PLEASURE 


Level 16+: B1, B4, C1, C2, F2, F4 


Themes: 

1. How do we understand the human person? 

2. Problems created by a hedonistic or utilitarian 

approach. 




3. Task 4.1 Divide students into groups of between 4 

and 6 and direct groups to Appendix 3. Distribute 

Resource Sheet 3 to each group. 

4. Briefly review responses from around class. 

Resources: 



2. Resource Sheet 3. 

5. Task 4.2. Students work as individuals. 

6. Class discussion following reading of text in 

Student Book following Task 4.3. 



8. Extension Task: discussion. 


In the previous session students were introduced to 

the philosophical schools of Hedonism and 

Utilitarianism, both of which can have a major impact 

on how we understand humanity and how this 

influences our decision-making and sexual ethics. 

The purpose of Session 4 is to illustrate how both 

philosophies an be problematic. 

In Task 4.1 students are required to read the scenario 

outlined in Appendix 3 and some background 

information supplied in Resource Sheet 3. Working 

in groups of between 4 and 6, they should discuss the 

kinds of thinking which may influence the views of the 

characters involved in this situation. 

In Task 4.2 individual students are asked to write the 

advice which they would give as a parent in this 

situation. You may decide to discuss the scenario 

further either before or after this task. This would 

provide the opportunity to inform students of the 

Church’s teaching on contraception and sex outside 

of marriage, although these topics will be discussed in 

much more detail in this session and others. 

The following is only a very brief description: 

The Catholic Church and contraception 

It is the teaching of the Church that the act of sexual 

intercourse, between a husband and wife, should 

always remain open to the possibility of creating new 

life, and that to place any barrier or to impede the 

potential of new life by any means is morally wrong. 

The use of any device or medical intervention, such 

as a condom, the pill, the coil, etc. are therefore 

wrong, since they are designed with the specific intent 

of preventing the potential of child-birth. 

Sex outside of marriage 

The Catholic Church teaches that the proper context 

for sexual intercourse is within a permanent, 

committed and loving relationship where a husband 

and wife, having made public vows to remain faithful 

to each other, are united in communion in both body 

and soul. The Church teaches that any sexual 

relationship outside of marriage is morally wrong, and 

since this applies equally to both heterosexual and 

homosexual relationships. 

The text which follows Task 4.2 is intended to stress 

the importance of seeking pleasue responsibly and of 

moderating desires. 

The Extension Task offers a ‘light’ way of dealing 

with a ‘heavy’ topic by asking students to find 

examples of song lyrics which offer viewpoints which 

are hedonistic or utilitarian - and which demean the 

human person and the dignity of human love. 

Another common attitude to moral questions is to claim that morality is based solely on feelings and is a 

purely private matter for the individual. Someone might say ‘I feel this is right, but it might not be right for you’ 

or ‘I feel this is wrong, but I can’t impose my moral views on others’. However, those who use such 

expressions usually do so inconsistently: for example, if no actions can be said to be wrong, then imposing 

views on others cannot be said to be wrong. Experience shows that people engage in serious moral 

arguments precisely because they think that something objective and important is at stake. Furthermore, 

moral relativism is harmful if it leads people to remain silent in the face of injustice. The wrongness of slavery 

or torture, rape or child abuse, lies in the objective harm they do as a contradiction of the human good and the 

moral order. (Cherishing Life, 33) 

page 13

SESSION 

4 


THE PURSUIT OF 

PLEASURE 

“The human body includes right from the beginning . . . the capacity of expressing love, 

that love in which the person becomes a gift and - by means of this gift - 

fulfils the meaning of his being and existence.” 



• to understand how hedonistic and utilitarian viewpoints can affect relationships; 

• to consider how impractical it is to live our lives in the constant pursuit of pleasure and 

avoidance of pain; 

• to understand that humans are not mere ‘pleasure-machines’. 

It is probably true to say that hedonistic and utilitarian viewpoints are nowadays most significant in 

the areas of sexual ethics and morality, despite their original focus on spiritual, intellectual, or 

otherwise non-sexual forms of pleasure. 

TASK 4.1 

A MORAL DILEMMA 

Read the scenario which is outlined in Appendix 3. Then read Resource Sheet 3 in which 

some of the characters explain their view points. 

Working in groups of between 4 and 6, discuss all the viewpoints represented in this scenario. 

Try to identify which of the people involved seem to be influenced by thinking which can be 

described as: 

a) hedonistic 

b) utilitarian 

c) other. 

In each case (a, b or c) justify your decision. 

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TASK 4.2 

WORDS OF ADVICE 

Consider again the scenario describe in Appendix 3. 

Imagine that you are the parent of this girl. Consider the advice which you would want to offer to 

her - thinking of her emotional, physical and moral wellbeing. Write the words of advice which 

you would use. 

We cannot live our lives in the constant pursuit of pleasure, therefore it is important that we 

understand what influences our decision-making. Both hedonism and utilitarianism may seem 

outwardly attractive in seeking to fulfil a pleasurable lifestyle. However, if we buy too much into their 

particular line of thought, they will severely impact on our understanding of the human person and 

have a significant effect on our approach to sexual relationships. 

We need to be clear that humans are not ‘pleasure machines’, designed only to give and receive 

physical pleasure and satisfaction. While we know that it is a natural instinct for humans to seek 

those things which give them pleasure, we understand that we need to refrain from indulging our 

appetites if we are to remain healthy. Thus, we learn to control our appetites for certain foods and 

we know to limit our alcohol intake to avoid damaging ourselves and possibly harming others. 

When we are in relationship with someone, it is not possible to make decisions based solely on the 

extent of pleasure that we might hope to receive, or even the pleasure which we might want to give. 

If we use another person purely for the purposes of pleasure, or if we allow ourselves to be used for 

this purpose, then we seriously damage our own dignity and that of the other person - a dignity 

which is God-given and which is not ours to give away. 

Reflection: 

Who is at the centre of our lives? This is where we stand before God most fully. Sometimes we 

may be distracted by false gods - celebrity, wealth, ambition. Only when we try to put God at 

the centre of our lives will we find joy and full satisfaction. 

Lord, you created us with a wonderful dignity and purpose. Protect us from the worship of 

empty and meaningless idols and give us the grace to put you at the centre of our lives. 


Consider the philosophies of utilitarianism and hedonism. Think of any examples of song lyrics 

which appear to be influenced by these viewpoints. Write out a few lines from the lyrics you 

identify. 

page 11 

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SESSION 

5 

THE OBJECT OF DESIRE 


Level 16+: A1, A2, B5, C1, F2, F4 

Key Messages: 1, 3, 4 and 5 

Themes: 

1. The human person. 

2. Body and Soul entirety. 

3. Dignity and respect. 




3. Task 5.1 Divide students into groups of about 4-6. 

4. Review group findings as a class. 

5. Task 5.2 Distribute Resource Sheet 4 to each 

group. 

Resources: 



3. Resource Sheet 4 for each group. 

4. Pens/pencils. 

6. Follow up with class discussion. 



8. Extension Task: Written activity. 


Session 5 seeks to develop the students’ 

understanding of humanity and how we see the 

human person. It starts off in a relatively light-hearted 

manner by thinking about objects that we use in our 

daily lives. 

In Task 5.1, working in groups of about 4 to 6, 

students are asked to consider a number of ordinary, 

domestic objects and their usage. The important 

point here is for students to be aware that these 

objects are all ‘things’ that can be used by either 

males or females and that as ‘things’ they are 

distinctly different from humans. 

Task 5.2 looks at the more serious issue of how we 

consider other people. Working in mixed groups of 

between 4 and 6, students are asked to respond to a 

number of statements (Resource Sheet 4) by 

deciding if they find the attitudes reflected by each 

statement as either acceptable or unacceptable. 

The list of 12 statements should give ample scope for 

discussion within the group and this will provide the 

opportunity to take these issues further within the 

context of a whole-class discussion where key issues 

such as respect, responsibility, commitment, honesty, 

integrity, etc. may be discussed. 

The Extension Task allows students to write about 

how they understand the words of Karol Wojtyla 

referring to using another person as “a means to an 

end”. 

The human person, created in the image of God, is a being at once corporeal and spiritual. The biblical 

account expresses this reality in symbolic language when it affirms that "then the LORD God formed man of 

dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.” Man, 

whole and entire, is therefore willed by God. (CCC 362) 

The unity of soul and body is so profound that one has to consider the soul to be the "form" of the body i.e., it 

is because of its spiritual soul that the body made of matter becomes a living, human body; spirit and matter, 

in man, are not two natures united, but rather their union forms a single nature. (CCC 365) 

page 16

Created in Love: 

5 

Session 5 

SESSION Responsible in Love: 

THE OBJECT OF DESIRE 

“It is neither the spirit alone nor the body alone that loves: it is the person, 

a unified creature composed of body and soul, who loves.” 

(Pope Benedict XVI) 


• to consider what it means to damage the dignity of another person; 

• to understand the human person as both body and soul; 

• to understand how it is possible to ‘use’ a person. 

In the previous session we saw how both hedonism and utilitarianism do damage to the dignity of 

the human person. Hedonism, for example, reduces the human person to nothing more than 

something from which to derive pleasure. Utilitarianism, this pursuit of pleasure or happiness for the 

greatest number of people, places emphasis on the usefulness of human activity, and in doing so, 

reduces our vision of humanity to that of nothing but objects which have no intrinsic value. 

TASK 5.1 

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO ‘USE’ AN OBJECT? 

Working in groups of about 4 to 6, each group should take two of the following items and make a 

list of how each item may be used. Discuss your findings. 

• A toaster • A games console • A pen 

• A microwave • A screwdriver • A vacuum cleaner 

• A kettle • A skateboard 

What do all of the above objects have in common? Quite simply, they are objects that can be used, 

and this makes them all essentially different from humans. As ‘objects’ they are quite different from 

the ‘person’ that you are; nor can they do the sort of things that humans do. They do not have 

intelligence of their own, they do not compose music, paint works of art, plan cities, or think about 

their existence. They do not look back on past events with warmth or feeling; they do not make plans 

for the future. These are the sort of things that humans do, and very much more. 

page 12 

page 17

SESSION 

1 

As humans, we are distinctly different from objects or other life forms. We are not just a collection of 

bones held together by skin. We are not merely a collection of cells. A human being is an integral 

unity of body and soul. We are transcendent, spiritual beings as well as physical, at one and the 

same time. 

We should, therefore, treat one another with dignity and respect, and we should not seek to use 

another person, either for personal gratification or as a means to an end. 

TASK 5.2 

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO ‘USE’ A PERSON? 

Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, read over the series of statements on Resource 

Sheet 4 that reflect attitudes which different people may hold. Discuss each one, and then tick 

the appropriate column that reflects how your group finds these attitudes: 

A = Acceptable N = Not Sure U = Unacceptable 

Reflection: 

O God, help all who must live with the strain of broken and tense relationships. Give us the 

courage to love and the mercy to forgive all who have injured us in any way. May our work this 

day bring us and all the world nearer to the quality of life to which you call us. 


“Anyone who treats a person as a means to an end does violence to the very essence of the 

other.” (Karol Wojtyla - Love and Responsibility) 

Write a few paragraphs to explain what you understand this sentence to be saying about ‘loving’ 

and ‘using’ another. 

page 13 

page 18

SESSION 

6 

IN GOD’S IMAGE & LIKENESS 


Level 16+: D3, E2, E3, E4 


Themes: 

1. Natural Law. 

2. How do we use our bodies? 

3. Maleness and femaleness. 




3. Task 6.1 Divide students into groups of about 4 

and refer to Appendix 4. 

4. Briefly review group findings as class discussion. 

5. Task 6.2 Working in same groups as before, 

distribute Resource Sheet 5. 

Resources: 



3. Resource Sheet 5 for each group. 

4. Selection of newspapers and magazines. 

5. Scissors & glue. 


6. Organise feedback from each group. 

7. Task 6.3 Distribute materials to each group. 

8. Organise feedback from each group. 




The purpose of Session 5 was to reinforce the fact 

that as humans, we are distinctly different from other 

life forms because we comprise of both Body and 

Soul. In the course of Session 6 students are asked 

to consider how, as a Body and Soul entirety, and in 

our maleness and femaleness, we are made in the 

image and likeness of God. 

Task 6.1 Students, working in groups of about 4, are 

asked to consider an extended quotation (Appendix 

4) which considers if the body should be viewed as a 

machine. Students should consider the prompts 

provided as a basis for discussion before briefly 

reviewing this as a whole class. This task stresses 

that we, as humans, are not machines, and that when 

we relate to others, it is not machines that meet, but 

persons with a Body and a Soul. It is important to 

consider, therefore, what we do with our bodies and 

how we use them. 

Task 6.2 asks students to work in the same groups to 

look at the selection of images on Resource Sheet 5. 

The objects include a car, a washing machine, a 

television and a mobile phone, each of which have a 

specific design and purpose. Students are asked to 

consider how to handle these to ensure they continue 

to function efficiently. 

Once again, this is a fairly light-hearted approach, 

intended to open up the way for a more serious 

consideration of the same principle in sessions to 

follow. 

Task 6.3: This task will require access to a range of 

used magazines from which students can cut a series 

of images of parts of the male and female anatomy, 

such as eyes, nose, feet, hands etc. They are then 

asked to discuss the design and functions of these 

body parts. 

From this practical activity, students are asked to 

consider how, in our maleness and femaleness, 

human beings are inscribed with a ‘natural law’ which 

helps us to know how to express who we truly are. 

This discussion can still take place even if it is not 

possible to arrange the earlier activity. 

Everyone, man and woman, should acknowledge and accept his sexual identity. Physical, moral and spiritual 

difference and complementarity are oriented towards the goods of marriage and the flourishing of family life. 

The harmony of the couple and of society depends in part on the way in which the complementarity, needs 

and mutual support between the sexes are live out. (CCC 2333) 

Each of the two sexes is an image of the power and tenderness of God, with equal dignity though in a 

different way. The union of man and woman in marriage is a way of imitating in the flesh the Creator’s 

generosity and fecundity. ‘Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they 

become one flesh.’ All human generations proceed from this union. (CCC 2335) 

page 19

SESSION 

6 


IN 

GOD’S IMAGE 

AND LIKENESS 

“Happiness is being rooted in love.” 



• to develop understanding of what it means to be made in the image and likeness of God; 

• to consider Natural Law and its implications for relationships. 

We are not just physical entities, we are not just pleasure machines, and we are not simply some 

higher form of animal life. If you accept this, then it has important implications for how you 

should relate to others, particularly when it comes to sexual relationships. For what we do with our 

bodies affects who we are at the very deepest core of our being. We are not distinct from our bodies. 

What we do and say with our bodies can shape the sort of people we become and communicate the 

people that we are, both body and soul. 

TASK 6.1 

THE BODY IS NOT A MACHINE 

Working in groups of about 4, read the passage in Appendix 4, and discuss the following 

questions: 

1. When two humans come into physical contact, is this contact between two persons or two 

machines? 

2. Is a surgeon who performs an operation on a patient just the same as a car mechanic 

performing a routine repair on a car? 

The body is not a machine. It is not something that can be commodified, or treated as something 

which can be bought and sold, something that can be owned or manipulated. The body is the means 

through which the real ‘I’ can be communicated. The body is given to us so that we can express our 

maleness and femaleness and who we are as persons in this physical world. If you believe this, you 

should think very carefully about what you do with your body. 

TASK 6.2 

FIT FOR PURPOSE? 

Working in the same groups as before, look at the images on Resource Sheet 5 and discuss 

the questions relating to each image. Organise feed back to the rest of the class. 

page 14 

page 20

Each of the items discussed in the Task 6.1 above has a specific 

purpose and has been designed to match that purpose. Each works 

in a unique way in performing this function and there is a right and a 

wrong way to handle each of them according to the designer’s plans. 

As long as you maintain them and use them for their intended 

purpose, they should work efficiently, according to how they were 

‘programmed’ to function. If you use them for anything other than their 

intended purpose, there is a very great risk that they will not work 

efficiently or may not work at all. 

Human bodies are also designed to fulfil specific functions. They are 

‘programmed’ to work according to a ‘natural law’ which is built into them. It would be logical to assume 

that in expressing ourselves in this world that we should avoid doing what is bad for us, what contradicts 

the intentions of our designer and creator. How do we know what we should do? This is where we 

discover what is called Natural Law. 

TASK 6.3 

A COMPOSITE PICTURE? 

1. Working in groups of between 4 and 6, and using magazines and newspapers, find images of 

parts of the male and female anatomy, such as eyes, nose, feet, hands, chest, etc. 

2. Now stick these images onto the large sheet of paper provided. 

3. Once you have done this, discuss the purpose of the anatomical parts you have identified, 

e.g. What is the purpose of the mouth? Is the human hand just a tool? 

4. Does the assembly of all the human anatomical parts make us ‘human’? 

Our bodies express who we are in the world and Natural Law, in helping us to reflect on how and 

why we have been made, enables us to decide whether or not the way we use our bodies fits with 

God’s plans for us. 

This is especially true when it comes to our sexuality, where we are expected to express our 

maleness and femaleness in a way that is not an accident of nature or the evolutionary development 

of our bodies. We have been designed as male and female, and when it comes to sexual 

relationships, Natural Law gives us a very clear indication of the purpose of our sexuality and the 

way in which it should be expressed in living a rich and fulfilled life according to God’s plan for us. 

Reflection: 

Almighty ever-living God, dispel from our hearts the darkness of sin and bring us to the true 

light, Christ your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God for ever and 

ever. Amen 

page 15 

page 21

SESSION 

7 

DESIGN & PURPOSE 


Level 16+: E2, E4 


Themes: 

1. Design And Purpose. 

2. Body Language. 




3. Task 7.1 Divide students into groups of between 

4 and 6. 

4. Read and discuss Gospel passage. 

Resources: 



3. CD/Cassette player. 

5. Task 7.2 Same groups. Discussion 



7. Extension Task. Short written activity. 


The Powerpoint slides provided on the Resources 

Disk can be used to generate discussion about body 

language and how this can communicate something 

of who we are. The four examples of body language 

illustrated can be used to talk about how effectively 

our body language communicate our emotions and 

feelings: a baby with a sad, tearful face; a couple 

sitting together, but somehow not together; the 

exaggerated sign of being unable to hear properly; 

the finger raised and pointing in anger. 

Task 7.1 Students consider a passage of scripture 

(Appendix 5). God wants a helpmate for Adam. God 

brings all the wild beasts and all the birds of the 

heavens before him and Adam gives names to them 

all. But no suitable helpmate is found, until God 

makes man fall into a deep sleep and forms one of 

his ribs into woman, whom Adam immediately 

recognises as his ‘soul mate’: “This is at last bone 

from my bones, and flesh from my flesh!” 

This is very important in a Christian understanding of 

humanity. For, in giving names to all of the beasts 

and animals, Adam is quite clearly saying what he is 

not. Furthermore, in creating Eve, God emphasises 

that mankind is both male and female, called to be in 

harmony with each other. Marriage is not created by 

man, but by God, and is an integral part of what it 

means to be human: “This is why a man leaves his 

father and mother and joins himself to his wife, and 

they become one body.” (Gen. 2:24) 

Jesus also refers to this passage of scripture in 

avoiding the trap set for him by the Pharisees, who 

wanted Jesus to say something negative about the 

Law which they could use as evidence against them. 

God made his first covenant with mankind through 

Adam, and makes a new and lasting covenant with 

mankind through the person of Jesus – as we read in 

the passage from Matthew’s Gospel. 

Task 7.2: To end the session on a lighter note, 

students should work in mixed groups of between 4 

and 6 to list a number of songs whose theme is sex 

and relationships. Taking a couple of examples from 

their list, they should then consider how the 

relationships are portrayed. 

The Extension Task allows for a short piece of 

writing on the individual student’s understanding of 

Natural Law. 

Because sexual intercourse has a human meaning, it can be thought of as ‘saying something’. There is a 

language of the body. A couple who are committed to one another in marriage express their love for one 

another in many ways: in their shared life through actions, words and deeds. When they express their love 

through sexual intercourse the couple are effectively saying to one another that they love their husband or wife, 

are committed to that person, have eyes for him or her alone. They are also saying that it is with this other 

person that they, together, can welcome a child as the fruit and object of their love. That is why it is a betrayal 

when a husband or wife has sexual intercourse with someone else. People who have experienced sexual 

betrayal may feel they have been lied to, because what the other person ‘said’ in the act of love is contradicted 

by his or her actions. (Cherishing Life 103) 

page 22

SESSION 

7 


DESIGN & PURPOSE 

“True love is a love in which sexual values are subordinate to the value of the person.” 



• to understand what is meant by the language of the body; 

• to grow in understanding of God’s plan for human sexuality. 

The human body has imprinted within it what we refer to as a Natural Law which helps us to decide 

the best way to behave and to express ourselves through our bodies. Our bodies are designed in 

such a way that they can communicate the very essence of who we are. 

The Natural Law ‘code’ which is programmed into our bodies - male and female - can also be 

understood as the language of the body which expresses its natural purpose and design. We can 

gain an understanding of this by exploring the meaning of the Genesis story of the Creation of Man 

and Woman. 

TASK 7.1 

IN THE BEGINNING – DESIGN & PURPOSE 

1. Read Appendix 5 which provides an excerpt from the Book of Genesis 2: 18-24. 

2. Working in groups of between 4 and 6, discuss the following: 

• Adam gives names to all of the wild beasts and the birds of heaven that are brought before 

him. In doing so, Adam is saying what he is not, and that he is a person. 

• In creating Eve, God shows that mankind is both male and female and that this is the way 

in which they will give themselves to one another in love. 

• Marriage is an integral part of what it means to be human, part of God’s plan for us, and 

built into the language of the body. 

• A man leaves his parents, joins himself to his wife, and they become one body. 

God has a very clear plan for us if we are to live rich and fulfilling lives 

and this can be described as our vocation or calling in life. Through 

the language of our body, God wants us to be expressions of His 

love in the world. To give us an example of what it means to be 

made in the image of God, he sent His Son to us so that 

we could follow Christ’s example and teaching: 

“The fact is that only in the mystery of the Incarnate 

Word is light shed on the mystery of man . . . 

Christ who is the new Adam, by revealing the 

mystery of the Father and his love, also reveals 

man to himself and makes his exalted vocation 

known to him.” 

(Gaudium et Spes, no 22) 

page 16 

page 23

Jesus himself said something very profound about the nature and purpose of man and woman. 

When some Pharisees asked him a question about divorce, Jesus quoted from the Old Testament to 

explain that God had written a law, or language, into what it means to be male and female: 

“Some Pharisees approached him, and 

to test him they said, ‘Is it against the 

Law for a man to divorce his wife on 

any pretext whatever?’ 

He answered, ‘Have you not read that 

the Creator from the beginning made 

them male and female and that he said: 

This is why a man must leave father 

and mother, and cling to his wife, and 

the two become one body? They are 

no longer two, therefore, but one body. 

So, then, what God has united, man 

must not divide.’” (Matthew 19:3-6) 

TASK 7.2 

THE LANGUAGE OF THE BODY 

Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, do the following: 

1. Make a list of songs that are about sex and/or relationships. 

2. Choose one or two of these and think carefully about the lyrics. How would you describe the 

relationship between the people in the song? 

3. How do their relationships fit in with God’s plan for our bodies? 

Reflection: 

Loving compassionate God, you made us in your image and likeness, gifting us with free will. 

May all our decisions and choices be life-giving and sustaining. Help us to avoid, through our 

thoughts words or actions, harming ourselves or one another. We make this prayer through 

Christ our Lord. Amen 


Write one or two paragraphs to explain what you understand by ‘Natural Law’ and what it means 

for human relationships. 

page 17 

page 24

SESSION 

8 

GOD’S IMAGE REFLECTED 

THROUGH ME 


Level 16+: D3, E3, E4 


Themes: 

1. Sex and the Media. 

2. Having sex or making love? 



2. Read Introduction and Revision Points. 

3. Task 8.1 Divide students into groups of between 

4 and 6. 

Resources: 



3. Excerpts from TV soap operas. 

4. Organise feed back from groups to the class. 

5. Task 8.2 Class / group discussion 




At the start of Session 8 students take time to reflect 

on the main points covered in the session up to this 

point. 

Task 8.1 Students are asked to consider how 

relationships are presented by the media by focusing 

on the many popular soap operas that purport to show 

snap-shots of ‘real-life’ situations within the format of a 

drama. 

Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, 

students should discuss how sex and relationships 

are portrayed through the medium of TV soap 

dramas. Using the prompts provided, students are 

asked to consider these relationships, with one 

person from each group reporting back to the rest of 

the class. 

At this stage it may be appropriate to refer to two 

important concepts- Modesty and Chastity. These are 

often referred to as Virtues, and are important in our 

understanding of relationships. They refer to the 

regard we have for ourselves as persons, and the 

regard we have for other people. It could be argued 

that the apparent absence of these virtues in our 

modern world is the cause of many of the problems 

affecting our society, including the high rate of 

teenage pregnancy, the incidence of extra-marital 

affairs, the numbers of sex-related crimes and the 

high level of divorce. 

Modesty: The virtue by which a person exercises 

restraint over their actions, dress and conversation. 

Modesty concerns the way in which we relate to other 

people in our behaviour, and is expressed through 

lewdness, where sex and sexual activity is reduced to 

a state of ‘use’ as opposed to one of ‘love’. Modesty 

determines how we conduct ourselves in relating to 

other people. Immodesty, is seen in lewd behaviour 

and language, improper dress and attitudes which 

serve only to damage the dignity of the individual 

human, made in the image and likeness of God. 

Chastity: The virtue that controls and moderates our 

sexual desires, thoughts, and actions. Chastity inhibits 

us from regarding ourselves or others as sexual 

objects from which to draw pleasure or personal 

gratification. Examples of this might include 

masturbation, pornography, prostitution, same-sex 

relationships and extra-marital affairs, all of which do 

damage to the dignity of the individual human person. 

Task 8.2: Working as a class, students can use the 

prompts provided as a basis for discussion. Care 

should be taken in avoiding being judgmental about 

relationships outwith marriage, since a number of the 

students may be from family backgrounds where 

marriage is not the norm. It is possible that some 

families will be structured round a same-sex 

relationship, perhaps involving a Civil Partnership. 

Although the Church does not equate these 

relationships to marriage, care should be exercised in 

not appearing to make judgements about families who 

are in such circumstances. 

The context for sexual intercourse should be one of genuine, exclusive and committed love. Indeed, the love 

implied in making love is nothing less than the love that is expressed in marriage. Young people are rightly 

wary of committing themselves too hastily to the serious reality of marriage. This is the reality entailed by love 

that is exclusive and unconditional. It is also the context within which the couple can best welcome a child, if 

one should result from their love. Clearly, it is difficult for many people in our society to take seriously the idea 

that sexual intercourse should take place only within marriage, but the language of love still points to this as 

its true context. (Cherishing Life, 104) 

page 25

SESSION 

8 


GOD’S IMAGE REFLECTED 

THROUGH ME 

“Deep within yourself, listen to your conscience which calls you to be pure.” 



• to understand how sex is portrayed through the media and how this affects our viewpoints; 

• to understand the difference between making love and having sex. 

When you look in a mirror, what do you see? Do you ever consider yourself as made in the 

image and likeness of God? How do others see you? In the things that you say and do with 

your body, how are other people able to see God through you? 

Perhaps it would be useful if we briefly revised the main points of what we have covered so far: 

• It is not always possible to live your life in pursuit of pleasure and avoiding pain. 

• Humans are not objects, and they are not pleasure machines. 

• We are not distinct from our bodies, but are a combination of body and soul, the body 

serving as a vehicle through which the real you – your soul - can become known. 

• There is a natural law which assists us in communicating who we are in the world. 

• We did not happen by chance, nor are we simply an evolutionary development from 

animals. 

• Humans are made in the image and likeness of God, created in His image as male and 

female. 

• Our understanding of our maleness and femaleness is essential in developing our 

understanding of human sexuality. 

• We communicate who we are to the world through the language of our bodies. 

The teachings of the Catholic Church offers us an insight into how God intended things to be for us 

and how God wants us to use our sexuality in a positive way that allows us to lead enriched and 

fulfilled lives. 

Of course, in our world this message tends to get lost, and is countered 

by an opposing message, one where sexual pleasure is portrayed as a 

human right which should be enjoyed without limit, freely determined 

by individuals, according to their personal tastes. 

page 18 

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TASK 8.1 

HAPPY FAMILIES 

Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, think of some of the characters that appear in 

popular TV ‘soaps’ and discuss the following: 

• How would you describe the quality of the relationship between the various characters? 

• Are any of the characters married? To each other? To someone else? 

• How would you describe their attitude to sex? 

Quite often the attitude to sex and relationships in 

TV programmes can seem remarkably casual, and 

very seldom, if ever, do these programmes ever 

seem to consider the health implications of having 

sex. 

Some storylines feature three people in a physical 

relationship, two of whom are married to each other. 

Sometimes none of the characters is married to the 

other, but are involved in a relationship with one or 

more partners. 

TASK 8.2 

IT DIDN’T MEAN ANYTHING! 

Class discussion: 

1. Why do you think someone who is married would want to have sex with another person? 

2. Why do you think someone would want to have sex with someone whom they knew to be 

married? 

3. Script writers sometimes have a character say “It didn’t mean anything” in their defence if 

they are ‘caught out’. What do you think this means? 

4. Do you think the other partner in the affair would agree that it hadn’t meant anything? 

Hopefully you realise that there is more to sex than just physical contact. Sex is not just a mechanical 

process, for there is so much more involved. When you give yourself to someone so completely in 

the act of sexual intercourse, you are giving your whole self. In that moment of intimacy, you are 

saying something with the language of your body that is very deep and profound to another person, 

not a body. 

How, then, can sex “not mean anything”? 

Reflection: 

Most gracious God and Father, you are with us as we make our journey throughout this day. 

Help us to look lovingly upon all people who come into our lives today and to walk gently upon 

our land 

page 19 

page 27

SESSION 

9 

TRUTH OR LIES? 


Level 16+: E3, E4, E5 


Themes: 

1. How do we deceive through the language of the 

body? 




3. Task 9.1. Continiuum excercise. 

4. Read texts and allow time for a brief discussion. 

Resources: 





6. Extension Task short written activity. 


In Session 9 we consider how we communicate 

through the language of the body and what it is that we 

say to someone with our body in the act of sexual 

intercourse. 

Why might someone describe sex with their married 

partner as being special or unique, yet, as we saw in 

the previous session, describe sex with someone with 

whom they are having an extra-marital affair as 

‘meaning nothing’? 

A wife and her husband are married, and as a married 

couple when they make love they are celebrating their 

union as one, having made that total gift of self to each 

other in marriage. When one partner has sex with 

someone else, on the other hand, it is not the same – 

remember the claim that it didn’t mean anything? This 

married person is not able to communicate the same 

thing through their body to their lover as they do to their 

spouse. In having sex they are, as it were, ‘pretending’ 

to be married, and in so doing are not telling the truth 

through the language of their bodies. 

Task 9.1: Students are given the opportunity to reflect 

upon and respond to the following four statements: 

1. It is okay to have an extra-marital affair as long as 

you don’t get caught. 

2. The availability of contraceptives has made it easier 

to have an affair. 

3. It is better to find out if you are sexually compatible 

with someone before marriage. 

4. Sexual intercourse should be kept for the person to 

whom you are married. 

This activity will require sufficient floor space for the 

students to move around, with the students imagining a 

straight line running across the floor. In response to 

each of the four statements, the students should stand 

in a position on this imaginary line that reflects their 

opinion. One of the extremes of the line represents total 

agreement and the other extreme represents total 

disagreement. If possible, it is desirable to have one or 

two students explain why they have chosen to stand in 

a particular position. Students may redefine their 

stance, perhaps by moving along the line to a new 

position. 

Pope John Paul II described the story of Tobiah and 

Sarah as “a test of life and death”. Sarah has been 

married seven times, but on each occasion, her 

husband has died before they have sexual intercourse. 

One day an angel appeared to Tobiah and told him that 

he was to marry Sarah. Of course, everyone thought 

that Tobiah would suffer the same fate as the previous 

seven husbands, including Sarah’s family, and in fact 

her father even started digging a grave in readiness. 

Tobiah survived his wedding night because his love for 

Sarah was genuine and was supported by prayer – 

“Love is victorious because it prays.” 

The Extension Task allows students to explain their 

understanding of the story of Sarah and Tobiah. 

Because sexual intercourse has a human meaning, it can be thought of as ‘saying something’. There is a 

language of the body. A couple who are committed to one another in marriage express their love for one 

another in many ways: in their shared life through actions, words and deeds. When they express their love 

through sexual intercourse the couple are effectively saying to one another that they love their husband or 

wife, are committed to that person, have eyes for him or her alone. They are also saying that it is with this 

other person that they, together, can welcome a child as the fruit and object of their love. That is why it is a 

betrayal when a husband or wife has sexual intercourse with someone else. People who have experienced 

sexual betrayal may feel they have been lied to, because what the other person ‘said’ in the act of love is 

contradicted by his or her actions. (Cherishing Life, 103) 

page 28

SESSION 

9 


TRUTH OR LIES? 

“Man longs for love more than for freedom. Freedom is the means and love is the end.” 



• consider whether it is possible for sex to ‘mean nothing’; 

• to understand the difference between love and lust; 

• to understand that the language of the body is expressed truthfully within a loving, married 

relationship. 

“Love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12) 

These words of Christ sum up the meaning of life and the meaning of human sexuality. At its core, 

sexual morality is about expressing God’s love through our bodies. This is why Pope John Paul II 

could say that, if we live according to the truth of our sexuality, we fulfil the very meaning of our being 

and existence. The opposite, however, is also true. If we don’t live according to the truth of our 

sexuality, we miss the meaning of our existence altogether. We forfeit true joy, true happiness. 

It is not possible to have sex with someone and believe that “it didn’t mean anything”. For the very 

act of sexual intercourse is not just the union of two bodies; it is the union of two persons, both body 

and soul. Such an act has meaning at various levels of significance. Your body has made a 

statement, even if you mouth has not spoken any words. 

Imagine a husband and wife, who outwardly seem to be fairly happy, but one of them is involved in an 

affair with someone else. In this situation, does sex have the same meaning for all three people? Is 

there a difference in the sex shared by a married couple and that shared in an extra-marital 

relationship? 

A person might describe sex with their married partner as being special or unique, yet sex with 

another person is described as “meaning nothing”. This implies a difference between what a person 

is saying with their body to their married partner and what they are saying with their body to the “third” 

person. How would he/she describe this meaning to this person? Would they admit that “it meant 

nothing”? 

TASK 9.1 

TRUE LOVE? – A CONTINUUM 

Imagine a straight line running across the classroom floor. The teacher will read out several 

statements and you are asked to stand in a position on this imaginary line that reflects your 

opinion on each of the given statements. One extreme of the line represents total agreement 

with each statement, and the other represents total disagreement. Discuss the outcome. 

page 20 

page 29

In the second chapter of Genesis, Adam and Eve realise that they are naked, yet feel no shame. Why? 

There is no shame in loving as God loves, only joy. In their nakedness, Adam and Eve discovered ‘the 

nuptial meaning of the body’. Through their bodies, they are able to become a gift for each other and 

to express the love that fulfils the very meaning of their existence. 

We can see the difference between ‘love’ and ‘lust’ in the story of Tobiah 

and Sarah from the Old Testament Book of Tobit. In this story, Sarah 

had already been married seven times, but each groom had died 

before having intercourse with her. When an angel appears to 

Tobiah and tells him that he is to marry Sarah, everyone 

presumes that Tobiah will suffer the same fate, but Tobiah 

survives this test. Why? Because Tobiah’s love for Sarah 

was supported by prayer – “love is victorious because it 

prays.” 

Man and woman are made for each other and have 

been created to complement each other perfectly. 

We are made for love and we are made to love. 

The language of the body is only truthfully 

expressed within a loving, married relationship. 

Reflection: 

Lord, help us to be open today to learn, to live, and to love like you. We ask this as we pray 

together: Our Father . . . 


Read a short passage about Sarah and Tobiah (Tobiah 8:5-8) 

“Lord, I have chosen Sarah because it is right, not because I lusted after her.” Write a few 

paragraphs to explain how you understand the distinction which Tobiah is making and how you 

relate this to relationships today. 

page 21 

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SESSION 

10 

HAVING SEX OR 

MAKING LOVE? 


Level 16+: D3, E3, E4, F1 


Themes: 

1. Sex and sexuality. 

2. Nuptial meaning of the body. 

3. Sexual intercourse. 




3. Task 10.1 Divide students into mixed groups of 

between 4 and 6 and issue each group with a large 

sheet of paper and a suitable pen or marker. 

Resources: 




4. Suitable pens or markers. 

4. Follow up with a brief class discussion. 

5. Task 10.2. Working in the same mixed groups, 

students discuss and feedback to class. 

6. Reflection: This may be read aloud by one or more 

pupils and incorporated into class prayer. 


Task 10.1 Working in groups of between 4 and 6, 

students are asked to consider what is meant by sexual 

activity. To do this, each group should be provided with 

a large sheet of paper (flip-chart?) and a suitable pen 

or marker. Onto this sheet they should write down 

words which suggest sexual activity. 

N.B. For this activity to be successful, students may 

wish to write down words which sound offensive. 

Careful judgement should be used by the teacher in 

preparing for this task. 

After reading the list of words they have produced 

students are asked to draw a circle around any of the 

words which make a positive statement about sexual 

activity. Students should compare the number of 

‘negative’ and ‘positive’ words on their list to see which 

is the greater. A brief discussion may then follow on 

what this might imply about attitudes to sex and sexual 

activity. 

Students are also asked to consider the word 

‘sexuality’. This may be an appropriate juncture to 

make a distinction between ‘sexuality’ and ‘sexual 

orientation’. Within Catholic teaching, sexuality is 

understood to be about who we are, created as male 

and female in the image and likeness of God. It is 

about our maleness and femaleness and how we relate 

to each other. Imprinted in our sexuality is our calling to 

love, imaging God’s love through our bodies by 

becoming a sincere gift to each other. 

When we talk about sexual orientation, this usually 

applies to the strong feeling of attraction we have 

towards another person. Natural Law tells us that man 

and woman were made for each other, and that their 

bodies were designed in such a way as to complement 

each other in creating new life. Many people will feel a 

strong physical and emotional attraction towards 

someone of the opposite sex. However, for some 

people, this sense of attraction draws them closer to 

people of their own sex. Catholic teaching recognises 

that this same-sex attraction can be compelling and 

that people who find themselves in a same-sex 

relationship should not be discriminated against, but 

rather be helped and supported by the community in 

living a chaste life. 

In Task 10.2 students are asked to work in mixed 

groups of between 4 and 6 to discuss: ‘What is the 

difference between making love and having sex?’ 

Students should try to think of examples that might help 

to illustrate the difference, such as: masturbation, 

prostitution, pornography, rape, incest. 

Students should try to think of examples to illustrate the 

difference. In examples such as masturbation, 

pornography, prostitution, rape, incest, the focus is on 

personal gratification - ‘using’ rather than ‘loving’. 

What is implied by the fully human expression of sexuality? Popular culture, films, novels and songs, though 

they often present a distorted or overly-romantic account of sexual love, nevertheless commonly see the 

meaning of sexual encounter in terms of love. Indeed, in ordinary speech people talk of the ‘act of love’ or of 

‘making love’. It is true that this sentiment is contradicted by the equally common tendency to see sexual 

intercourse as meaning as much or as little as someone wants it to mean. However, to think of the human 

sexual act as though it could be merely a recreational activity undermines what is most human and most 

significant about sexual intimacy. (Cherishing Life 102) 

page 31

SESSION 

10 


HAVING SEX OR 

MAKING LOVE? 

“Chastity is a difficult long-term matter; one must wait patiently for it to bear fruit, 

for the happiness of loving kindness which it must bring. 

But at the same time, chastity is the sure way to happiness.” 



• to understand what is meant by ‘sexual activity’; 

• to deepen in understanding of ‘sexuality’; 

• to consider further the difference between making love and having sex. 

It is possible to tell a lie, using the language of the body. When a person makes love with his/her 

spouse, their minds and their bodies as one are saying something distinctly different from that 

which they are saying in an extra-marital affair. In marriage, a person gives himself/herself completely 

to another. But in an extra-marital affair they are unable to do this, and can only give as much as will 

prevent the affair being discovered. 

TASK 10.1 

SEXUAL ACTIVITY 

1. Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, write down as many terms/words/phrases (non 

vulgar) that name sexual activity. 

2. Now look at the words you have written. Draw a circle around any of the words that your 

group think says something positive about sexual activity. 

3. What do these suggest about our attitude to sex and sexual activity? 

Language is a very important element in the development of 

relationships, whether it be spoken language or body 

language. Words, for example, can convey a whole range of 

information, emotions, feelings, but can also be very 

confusing and/or hurtful when not used properly. Sometimes 

words can also help to hide the real, true meaning and it is 

only when we think more carefully about them that their 

meaning becomes more apparent. 

page 22 

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sexUALITY 

Look at this word, for example. What is it telling us? It has been typed in a particular way to 

emphasise a very important, but frequently misunderstood ‘truth’: sex is only a very small part of what 

we understand by our sexuality. 

Our sexuality is about our maleness and femaleness. It is about how we relate to each other and is 

about what we are, as opposed to something that we do. We express our sexuality and our sexual 

identity as a male or female through the language of the body. 

TASK 10.2 

MAKING LOVE OR HAVING SEX? 

Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 6, discuss the following: 

‘What is the difference between making love and having sex?’ 

One person from each group should be prepared to report back to the class. 

If you really love a person, you love them for who they are, not 

because of what they can do for you or what you can get from 

them. Once we lose sight of this, and once we stop seeing 

those we love as persons, we have erred greatly, for we have 

reduced them to the state of an object that can be used. In 

other words we have removed their humanity. 

‘Making love’ to a person implies something more complete and 

meaningful than merely ‘having sex’. In the act of making love, 

we enter into a very special relationship where we give our 

whole selves to another. To talk in terms of ‘having sex’ 

however, depersonalises the act of sexual intercourse and 

reduces it to more of a mechanical process in which you are 

using someone, not loving them. 

We can either love, or use, other people. If we love them 

completely, we can give ourselves to them completely - in all 

our being, for all time. If we only want their love for a limited 

period of time, we should admit that we are using them and that 

we will discard them when they are no longer of use to us. 

Reflection: 

God knows well the doubts that afflict you, the temptations that press upon you. He knows your 

true needs; He hears your prayers. He is ready to grant you everything that is required to 

enable you to be His loving child. All you have to do is ask. . . 

page 23 

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SESSION 

11 

USING OR LOVING? 


Level 16+: B1, D3, E3, E4, F1 


Themes: 

1. Sex before marriage. 

2. Casual sex. 

3. Living together. 




3. Task 11.1 Divide students into mixed groupings of 

between 4 and 6 and issue each group with set of 

cards (Resource Sheet 6) and copy of Resource 

Sheet 7. 

Resources: 



3. Resource Sheets 6, 7 & 8 for each group. 

4. Class discussion. 

5. Task 11.2. Working in same mixed groupings, 

students should discuss Resource Sheet 8. 



7. Extension Task: short written activity. 


In Session 11 students will consider some of the 

reasons why people might choose to live together 

before getting married, if ever marrying at all. They 

will also consider the way that sex outside marriage 

is presented as a norm, and some of the potential 

implications that extra-marital sex can have on 

relationships. 

Task 11.1 Working in mixed groups of between 4 and 

6, students are asked to consider a number of 

reasons why people choose to live together. These 

are presented on a number of small cards that each 

group will be given (Resource Sheet 6). Students 

should discuss each statement before deciding which 

of the reasons given is the most valid reason for 

choosing to live togethe. These should then be 

arranged in the perceived order of importance in the 

grid provided (Resource Sheet 7). 

The class discussion to follow this task will provide 

the opportunity to discuss this more fully in relation to 

marriage. Care should be taken to avoid making 

statements that appear judgmental, given the 

likelihood that a number of the students may come 

from home backgrounds where marriage is not the 

norm. 

Some statistics are provided to compare and contrast 

issues directly relating to married and cohabiting 

couples. 

Task 11.2: Students will continue to work in the 

same mixed groupings to consider some of the 

problems that can arise from extra-marital and casual 

sex (Resource Sheet 8). 

Please note, some of these issues can affect a 

marriage, but may not be regarded as a problem, 

e.g. pregnancy is a perfectly acceptable fruit of a 

loving, committed permanent married relationship, 

whereas the appearance of an STI may signify a 

problem within the married relationship. 

The Reflection provides a short prayer on the theme 

of loving, not using. 

The Extension Task allows students to write briefly 

about marriage. 

In order to be able to integrate our sexual desires with the rest of our personality and with what is important in 

our lives we need to develop the right disposition. Christians call this disposition the virtue of chastity. This 

virtue includes sensitivity to a person’s situation and to the circumstances in which people find themselves. 

Where a relationship is possible and appropriate, it is right for a couple to express affection and mutual 

attraction, and for married couples to express their love through sexual intercourse. On the other hand, if a 

particular relationship is inappropriate, it is wrong to foster sexual desires towards the person concerned. For 

married couples, showing sexual affection is a positive virtue and an aspect of their mutual communication. 

Chastity is a virtue both for those who are married and for those who are single. It means thinking and acting 

appropriately with friends or with colleagues and, within a relationship, being honest and sensitive without 

selfishness or thoughtlessness hindering the communication of love. Self-restraint will always be at the 

service of genuine love and sensitivity. (Cherishing Life, 105) 

page 34

SESSION 

11 


USING OR LOVING? 

“Those who seek the accomplishment of their own human and Christian vocation in marriage are 

called, first of all, to make the theology of the body . . . the content of their life and behaviour.” 



• to understand why people choose to live together, rather than or before marrying; 

• to explore the concept of ‘using’ a person; 

• to consider Catholic teaching in regard to extra-marital and casual sex. 

“Love can’t simply be equated with sexual attraction toward, or sexual desire for, another person. 

Love is not something that ‘happens’ to people. Love is a decision.” 

(Christopher West, Good News About Sex and Marriage) 

Many newspapers have week-end supplements that provide the television listings for the coming 

week. A quick glance through any of the programmes listed will provide a sizeable selection of 

programmes where it is quite obvious that sex outside of marriage is promoted as being acceptable, 

or as the norm. The same applies to the many glossy magazines that are popular today. It is hardly 

surprising, therefore, that so many people choose to ‘live together’. 

TASK 11.1 

WHY DO PEOPLE LIVE TOGETHER? 

Working in groups of between 4 and 6, use the cards on Resource Sheet 6 to consider a 

number of possible reasons why people might live together. 

Discuss the statements on each card within your group and decide which is the better reason for 

living together and arrange the cards accordingly on Resource Sheet 7. 

People may decide to live together for a number of reasons; many people living together eventually 

get married. Research shows that couples who marry after having lived together are at a 35% to 

50% greater risk of separating and/or divorcing than those who did not cohabit (Seltzer, 2000; 

Teachman, 2002; Teachman, 2003). In another study it was found that 90% of married women were 

monogamous, compared to 60% of cohabiting women; 90% of married men remained faithful, 

compared to only 43% of cohabiting men. (Ciavola, 1997). 

page 24 

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TASK 11.2 

EXTRA-MARITAL AND CASUAL SEX 

Working in the same mixed groups, read over Resource Sheet 8 and discuss these and other 

reasons why sex outside of marriage can cause problems. 

Sex puts pressure on unmarried relationships. 

Deep down, your heart knows that it has given 

itself completely. The relationship isn’t at that 

level of commitment where that gift can be 

protected. You have given yourself completely, 

and you know that as a result, you could be 

rejected completely. That realisation leads to a 

tremendous amount of vulnerability, insecurity 

and fear.” 

(Mary Beth Bonnacci, ‘Real Love’) 

Being ‘responsible in love’ implies not only concern for physical health but for emotional and moral 

wellbeing. The risks associated with early sexual activity go beyond those (very real) risks of 

pregnancy and sexual infection. The most common experience of those who engage in early sexual 

activity is regret - over the spoiling of a precious gift and the spurning of emotions offered in sincerity 

to another. 

Reflection: 

Father, help us to examine our hearts. Help us to love others as you love them, and not to see 

people as a means to our ends but, rather, as unique human beings. 


‘Till death us do part’ has been replaced by ‘as long as I am happy.’ 

(David Popenoe, Professor of Sociology, Rutgers University) 

Write a few paragraphs to support or to take issue this view on the permanence of marriage. 

page 25 

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SESSION 

12 

SAFE(R) SEX? 


Level 16+: D3, E4, E5 


Themes: 

1. Contraception. 

2. Saved Sex – postponing sexual activity. 

3. STIs and HIV/AIDS. 




3. Task 12.1 Divide students into mixed groups of 

between 4 and 6. Direct groups to Appendix 6 and 

distribute paper for making notes, instructing 

students to nominate two from their group to 

report back to whole class. 

Resources: 



3. Paper for taking notes. 

4. Large sheet of paper. 

5. Suitable pen or marker. 

4. Organise feedback session. 

5. Task 12.2 Distribute large sheet of paper and 

appropriate pen/marker to each group. 

6. Discussion of what is meant by ‘saved sex’. 



8. Extension Task Short written activity. 


In Session 12 we consider what it means to talk about 

‘safe sex’. 

Task 12.1 Students are asked to work in mixed 

groups of between 4 and 6 to consider at least 2 of the 

methods of birth control listed in Appendix 6. 

A total of 13 commonly available methods of birth 

control are listed for the purposes of this task. 

It should become abundantly clear to students that 

none of the forms of birth control listed is fail-safe, 

none of them is able to categorically ensure safety, 

and all of them have significant failure rates. While the 

methods listed do provide some protection against 

pregnancy, most of them offer little or no protection 

from sexually transmitted infections. How, then, can 

we refer to ‘safe sex’? 

A woman can only become pregnant during her fertile 

period. To err on the side of caution, this is usually 

taken to be a period of about 72 hours during any one 

phase of the menstrual cycle. 

On the other hand, a woman, or man, can contract a 

sexually transmitted infection on any one of the 365 

(366) days in a year! None of the methods we have 

looked at can guarantee protection from pregnancy, so 

how can we be sure that they protect us from STIs? 

This can only lead us to conclude that instead of 

talking about ‘safe sex’ at best we can only hope for 

‘safer sex’. 

In Task 12.2, students are asked to work in the same 

mixed groupings as before to discuss arguments for 

and against a given statement. The notion of ‘saved 

sex’ is that sex should be kept until you are able to 

give of yourself, wholly and completely in both body 

and soul, freely and unconditionally, to your husband 

or wife for life. 

Students may raise quite different views on the 

quotation from Mary Beth Bonnacci and these can be 

discussed further. 

The Extension Task challenges students to express 

reasons for “saving sex” until marriage. 

In the context of high rates of sexually transmitted diseases and of teenage pregnancies governmentsponsored 

sex education has tended to emphasise the importance of ‘safe’ or ‘safer sex’ and has encouraged 

the use of condoms as the best solution to unwanted pregnancy and the health risks of casual sexual liaisons. 

However, this approach has been both morally corrosive and practically ineffective - from 1996 to 2002 

incidents of the major bacterial sexually transmitted infections more than doubled (Renewing the focus: HIV 

and other Sexually Transmitted Infections in the United Kingdom in 2002, Health Protection Agency). This 

strategy suffers from the assumption that social and moral problems can be solved in a technical way without 

addressing questions of behaviour. Sex education should stress the importance of the virtue of chastity, and 

should promote the value of virginity before marriage and of constancy within marriage. To give instruction on 

the biology of human reproduction without a principled moral context ignores and obscures what is most 

specifically human in human sexuality. (Cherishing Life, 122) 

page 37

Created in 

12 

Love: Session 12 11 

SESSION Responsible in Love: 

SAFE(R) SEX? 

“Passing encounters are only a caricature of love; they injure hearts and mock God’s plan.” 



• to explore what is meant by ‘safe sex’; 

• to consider methods of contraception; 

• to understand that while some methods of contraception may make sex ‘safer’ they do not 

remove the risk of pregnancy, STIs or HIV/AIDS; 

• to reaffirm Catholic teaching that the moral context for sexual intercourse is within marriage. 

When you hear the term ‘safe sex’, what is the first thing that comes into your mind? In most 

cases, it will possibly be one word – condom. Does the use of a condom make sex safe? Some 

might argue that the use of a condom makes sex ‘safer’, and therefore not completely safe. What do 

we really expect when we think of ‘safe sex’? And more importantly, what can we do to ensure that 

sex is safe? 

TASK 12.1 

WHAT MAKES SEX SAFE? 

Working in groups of between 4 and 6 students, each group is asked to consider TWO available 

methods of birth control listed in Appendix 6. Make brief notes about each before reporting 

back to the class. 

You should give consideration to the following points: 

• What it is • How it works 

• Any perceived advantages • Possible disadvantages 

• How effective it is • What makes it less effective 

• Who can use this method of birth control 

From the task above, it should be clear that ‘safe sex’ is not something that anyone can guarantee in 

absolute terms. Many of these methods are, if used properly, able to offer a relatively high level of 

protection against pregnancy, with some offering a good level of protection against the transmission 

of HIV. But most offer little or no protection against sexually transmitted infections. 

Does ‘safe sex’ actually exist, or do these various means only provide ‘safer sex’? 

page 26 

page 38

TASK 12.2 

SAVED SEX 

Working in the same mixed groupings, read over the following and then write a list of the 

possible arguments for and against the viewpoint that sex should be “saved” for Marriage: 

“The Catholic Church teaches that the proper context for sexual intercourse is within a loving, 

permanent and committed married relationship which remains open to the possibility of giving 

new life.” 

Reflection: 

Forgiving God, look not upon our failings but upon our wish to serve you and one another. Help 

us to embrace our failings in loving union with your goodness. May we be a source of strength 

and courage for others. 


“Every man and every woman fully realises himself or herself through the sincere gift of self. 

For spouses, the moment of conjugal union constitutes a very particular expression of this.” 

(Pope John Paul II, ‘Letter to Families, no. 12, 1994) 

Imagine that you are the parent of a young teenager. Write a few paragraphs in which you 

encourage your son / daughter to “save sex” for marriage. 

page 27 

page 39

Appendix 1 

APPENDIX1 

FIRST LOVE 

First Love 

Lisa and Scott are both aged 17 and have known each other since primary school as friends and 

neighbours. They live across the road from each other. In the past year they have become closer 

as friends, seeing each other much more often, and about 6 months ago Scott eventually 

plucked up the courage to ask Lisa out. They had been dating since then, and spent most of 

their free time together. They had discussed sex several times and Lisa had told Scott that she 

wasn’t quite ready to take their relationship to that level. However, Scott was quite insistent that 

he loved Lisa and wanted to ‘go all the way’. Despite her protests, Lisa really wanted this too, as 

she loved Scott and knew he felt the same way about her. 

On the Friday night when it actually happened Lisa felt on top of the world, as though it were the 

best night of her life. But two weeks later things had changed completely. It seemed as if Scott 

didn’t want to know her, despite her calls and texts. Scott just ignored her, even though he still 

lived across the road. 

Discuss: 

1. Why was Lisa so certain that Scott loved her? 

2. Why has Scott treated her as though she doesn’t exist since ‘that night’? 

3. What was Lisa expecting from this relationship? 

4. What was Scott was expecting? 

Party Animal 

Hi! My name is Mikey and I am 16. Andy, my mate, had an ‘empty’ a few weeks ago, so he 

decided to throw a party on the Saturday night. He even promised to fix me up with someone. 

Anyway, I got there at about 9 o’clock, and to be honest, I didn’t know half the people who were 

there, but Andy seemed to know them. He handed a beer to me as I went in and showed me 

over to the couch where this girl was sitting. She was very pretty, I suppose, and Andy introduced 

us. Her name was Paula. Andy disappeared off somewhere, and Paula and I got talking. We 

spent quite a time, having a few drinks and just chatting. I had just sat down again after getting 

us another drink, when this guy appeared downstairs with a girl from my English class. They 

were both still adjusting their clothes and you didn’t need to be a genius to figure out what they 

had just been doing. Then Andy came over to us and said “So how about you two then?” I 

suppose I blushed a bit, but Paula smiled, took my hand, and I thought to myself, “It’s now or 

never!” 

I never saw Paula again after that night. 

Discuss: 

1. How would you describe the relationship between Mikey and Paula? 

2. Are you surprised that they ended up in the bedroom together? Why? 

3. What possibly helped them to arrive at this decision? 

4. Why do you think they never saw each other again? 

page 40

Appendix 1 

APPENDIX1 

First Love (continued) 

Hopelessly Devoted 

I’m Pete and I was 17 a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been seeing Kate, my girlfriend, for just over 8 

months now, and what a time it’s been. She is definitely the one for me, no doubt about it. I just 

can’t get her out of my head, night or day, and I just can’t describe the buzz I get when she’s 

around. 

I suppose we’ve had a few problems along the way and sometimes I think it’s crazy that we’re 

still together, but I just can’t bear to be away from her for too long. I know this feeling inside me 

has to be love . . . believe me, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Kate. 

They keep telling us at school about how sex outside marriage is such a bad thing, with all sorts 

of side effects and nasty things that can happen to you, but I just don’t see it. Kate and I have 

sex all the time, and nothing has ever happened to us. I don’t see how they can say our 

relationship can have suffered. 

Discuss: 

1. How would you sum up Pete’s feelings for Kate? 

2. Do you think it is healthy that Pete should feel this way? Why? 

3. How would you describe the relationship between Pete and Kate? 

4. Pete doesn’t think having sex all the time has hurt their relationship. Do you agree/disagree? 

Choices and Consequences 

By the age of 17 I had made my mind up that I was going to wait until I was married before I got 

too intimate with anyone. I was going to save myself for that one special person. I suppose you 

could say that I had made my stance pretty clear, which probably explains why some of my 

friends used to tease me a bit. “There she goes, Mags the nun,” they would say, or “Here comes 

St Mags”. But I didn’t care, because I was doing it for myself and my future husband, not for 

them. 

I had been going out with Brian for quite a while, and although he had brought the subject of sex 

up on more than one occasion, I had told him that if he really loved me he would respect my 

feelings. One night, however, possibly because of the amount I had to drink, I let my principles 

slip, and Brian and I went all the way. 

Now I’m seven weeks pregnant and I don’t know what I’m going to do. I was supposed to be 

going to university next year, so how will I manage? We did briefly talk about having an abortion. 

Brian only has a part-time job just now so money would be a real problem. But I just couldn’t do 

that. And, besides, my parents would go ballistic – and there’s no way I could have one without 

them finding out. Anyway, I don’t want to kill my baby. But how can I possibly keep it and throw 

away all I have worked for over the last few years? 

1. Why do you think Mags had decided to postpone having sex until she was married? 

2. Why do you think she might have “set aside my principles” and had sex with Brian? 

3. How does she describe the result of being pregnant? 

4. Do you agree or disagree with how Mags sums up her position? 

page 41

Appendix 3 

APPENDIX2 

TWO PHILOSOPHICAL VIEWPOINTS 

Hedonism 

From the Greek word “hedone”, meaning ‘pleasure’, Hedonism is the view that focuses on 

increasing pleasure and reducing pain. Its basic principal is that all actions can be measured 

on the basis of how much pleasure and how little pain they produce. Tracing its roots back to 

Epicurus, who lived in the third century BC, this particular line of thinking considers that 

pleasure is the highest good, and that you can basically do whatever you want, if it brings 

pleasure, although moderation was also advised. Hedonism is difficult to describe, since it is 

not easy to define what constitutes pleasurable or painful activities. Some people who indulge 

their sexual appetites can be described as “hedonistic”. 

Utilitarianism 

From the Latin word “utilis”, meaning ‘useful’, Utilitarianism seeks what is good for the greatest 

number of people, sometimes referred to as the ‘common good’. It is connected to Hedonism 

in as much as the likely consequences of our behaviour are measured in terms of pleasure or 

happiness. Two of its greatest exponents, Jeremy Bentham and John Stuart Mill, proposed the 

rule that ‘The right action is the one that produces the greatest happiness or good for the 

greatest number of people.” If someone takes a “utilitarian” view of life their conduct will be 

governed by the likely consequences of an action, rather than by any other sense of moral 

values. 

APPENDIX3 

A MORAL DILEMMA 

You are the mother of a 16 year old daughter who has just told you that she is going on 

holiday with her 17 year old boyfriend in a few months. She confides that she is worried about 

getting pregnant and says that she wants to go on the Pill. 

She is not sure whether this is the right or the wrong thing to do and she asks for your advice. 

She asks that you keep this matter confidential and do not disclose her intentions to her father. 

You have to make some decisions: 

• what advice to give your daughter 

• whether to tell you husband about this situation. 

page 42

Responsible PLEASURE in Love: MACHINE? FAMILY LIFE 

APPENDIX4 

“If the body is a machine, then in any physical contact between two human bodies two 

machines touch, not two persons. The bodily union of husband and wife would be 

indistinguishable from the contact of two robots with one another. It would also be 

indistinguishable from the touching of two cars in a crash. 

When a doctor treats a patient or a surgeon operates, they would be a technician making 

adjustments on another malfunctioning machine. Clearly with this understanding of the body, 

in heart surgery it would not be an individual’s, that is, a person’s, heart healed by surgery but 

rather a machine part adjusted by another machine.” 

(R M Hogan & J M LeVoir, Covenant of Love) 

APPENDIX5 

MAN AND WOMAN 

“God said, ‘It is not right that the man should be alone. I will make him a helpmate.’ 

So from the soil God fashioned all the wild beasts and all the birds of the heavens. 

These he brought to the man to see what he would call them; each one was to bear 

the name the man would give it. 

The man gave names to all the cattle, all the birds of heaven and all the wild beasts. But no 

helpmate suitable for man was found for him. So God made the man fall into a deep sleep. 

And while he slept, he took one of his ribs and enclosed it in flesh. God built the rib he had 

taken from the man into a woman, and brought her to the man. The man exclaimed: ‘This at 

last is bone from my bones, and flesh from my flesh! This is to be called woman, for this was 

taken from man.’ 

This is why a man leaves his father and mother and joins himself to his wife, 

and they become one body.” 

(Genesis 2:18-24) 

page 43

Appendix 6 

Responsible METHODS in Love: OF CONTRACEPTION 

APPENDIX6 

Natural Family Planning 

What it is? 

• Natural Family Planning is a way of using the body’s natural indicators or signs to work out a 

woman’s fertile and infertile times of the menstrual cycle. 

• It is sometimes referred to as the Billings Method. 

• Withdrawal before ejaculation is not a natural method of family planning. 

How it works? 

Indicators or sign within a woman’s body show when it is safe to have sex without risking pregnancy. 

• A woman is trained to identify these signs, such as changes in waking temperature, cervical 

secretions, and a calculation based on the length of the menstrual cycle. 

• The woman is able to tell when she is either in her fertile or infertile phase of this cycle. 

Advantages? 

• Natural Family Planning has no side effects. 

• When used properly, it can help to either plan or avoid pregnancy. 

• It involves a couple working closely together in a way that helps to strengthen their relationship. 

Disadvantages? 

• Natural Family Planning does not protect against sexually transmitted infections. 

• It involves abstaining from sex during the fertile times. 

• It must be taught properly to be effective. 

• It needs a high level of commitment from both partners. 

How effective is it? 

• When used correctly, Natural Family Planning is thought to be up to 98% effective. 

• This means that 2 women in every 100 who practice Natural Family Planning will get pregnant in 

a year. 

Who makes it less effective? 

• Natural Family Planning must be taught properly by a qualified instructor. 

• A couple must be prepared to trust each other and to work together for Natural Family Planning 

to be effective. 

Who can use it? 

• Any woman who has been given the required training in identifying the indicators or signs from 

her body can use NFP. 

• It does, however, require a great deal of commitment and the sharing of responsibility between 

the woman and her partner. 

page 44

Appendix 6 METHODS OF CONTRACEPTION 

Responsible in Love: FAMILY LIFE 

APPENDIX6 (continued) 

Male Condom 

What it is? 

• A sheath of latex (rubber) or polyurethane, often lubricated to make it easier to use, that is placed 

over the man’s erect penis prior to sexual intercourse. 

How it works? 

• The condom stops the sperm from entering the woman’s vagina, and since it is intended to 

prevent sperm from meeting an egg, the condom is referred to as a barrier method. 

• A new condom has to be used each time sexual intercourse takes place, and the condom must 

be stored away from heat and light to prevent it from drying out and possibly becoming fragile. 

Condoms must also be used before their expiry date, which is clearly marked on the packaging. 

Advantages? 

• Condoms offer considerable protection against some sexually transmitted infections (STIs) as 

well as pregnancy, when used correctly. 

• Condoms are becoming increasingly easier to obtain and only need to be used when having sex. 


• Putting on a condom can interrupt sex. 

• Condoms can split if not used properly and can slip off if not used carefully. 

• The man needs to withdraw carefully straight after ejaculation. 


• If used properly, the manufacturer’s claim that they are 98% effective. 

• This means that at least 2 women in every 100 using a condom will get pregnant in a year. 


• If the penis touches the area around the vagina before a condom is put on, sperm can still be 

released into the vagina and possibly cause pregnancy. 

• Similarly, any contact in the genital area can still leave open the possibility of contracting some 

sexually transmitted infections, particularly Genital Warts. 

• The condom can be ripped by sharp nails or rings. 

• Oil-based products, such as hand cream or Vaseline, can damage rubber condoms. 

• Condoms can slip off. 


• Male condoms are suitable for most people, although some men and women are allergic to either 

the rubber or the spermicides used in the manufacturing process, in which case it is possible to 

use polyurethane condoms or latex condoms without spermicide. 

page 45

Appendix 7 

APPENDIX6 Responsible METHODS in Love: OF CONTRACEPTION 

(continued) 

FAMILY LIFE 

Female Condom 

What it is? 

• The female condom is made from soft polyurethane and is put inside the vagina. It is held in 

place by a ring at either end. 

How it works? 

• The female condom lines the vagina and stops sperm from getting in. 

• Since it is designed to prevent sperm and egg meeting, the female condom is referred to as a 

barrier method. 

Advantages? 

• Protects against most sexually transmitted infections (STIs) as well as pregnancy. 

• Its use has no side effects and only needs to be used during sex. 


• Inserting the female condom can interrupt sex. 

• It can slip if not used properly. 

• It is more expensive to buy than the male condom. 


• If used properly the female condom is thought to be 95% effective. 

• This means that 5 women in every 100 using a female condom will get pregnant in a year. 


• It can be pushed out of place and can slip. 

• It must be inserted properly. 


• Female condoms are suitable for most women, and since they are made from polyurethane, 

they do not usually cause allergies. 

page 46

Appendix 8 

APPENDIX6 

METHODS OF CONTRACEPTION 

(continued) 

Combined Pill 

What it is? 

• The combined pill is an orally taken tablet that contains two hormones, oestrogen and 

progestogen. 

How it works? 

• The combined pill stops ovulation, therefore the woman does not release an egg for 

fertilisation. 

• It also thickens the mucus around the cervix, making it difficult for sperm to get into the womb. 

Advantages? 

• The use of the combined pill does not interrupt sex. 

• It offers protection against cancer of the ovary and the womb. 

• Bleeding may be lighter and Pre-Menstrual Tension (PMT) is less likely. 


• The combined pill offers no protection against sexually transmitted infections. 

• In a small number of women it can cause serious side effects, such as blood clots and cancer 

of the breast or cervix. 

• It should only be prescribed by a medical practitioner who is familiar with the medical history 

of the woman’s family. 

• It can cause weight gain and/or skin problems. 


• If used properly, the combined pill is thought to be 99% effective. 

• This means that 1 woman in very 100 taking the combined pill will get pregnant in a year. 


• The combined pill must be taken each day and at the same time. 

• Taking it more than 12 hours late greatly reduces its effectiveness. 

• Vomiting soon after taking it or very severe diarrhoea can mean that you are not protected. 

• Some prescription and complementary medicines, including antibiotics, can negate the 

effectiveness of the combined pill. 


• The combined pill is not suitable for all women. 

• A doctor or nurse will need to know about the woman’s medical history, including any 

illnesses or conditions suffered by immediate family members, including history of stroke, liver 

disorder, blood disorder, etc. 

• There may be medical reasons why the combined pill may not be appropriate. 

page 47

Appendix 7 

APPENDIX6 Responsible METHODS in Love: OF CONTRACEPTION 

(continued) 

FAMILY LIFE 

Progestogen-Only Pill (POP) 

What it is? 

The mini pill is an orally taken tablet that contains the hormone progestogen. 

How it works? 

• Progestogen makes the mucus around the cervix (opening to the womb) thicker, making it 

more difficult for sperm to get into the womb. 

• In some women it stops ovulation. 

• It can also make it difficult for an egg that has been fertilised from implanting in the womb. 

• The action of the mini pill could be described as being ‘contraceptive’ in preventing the 

sperm from meeting an egg, but may also be described as ‘abortifacient’ in preventing the 

implantation of an already fertilised egg. 

Advantages? 

The use of the mini pill does not interrupt sex. 

• It can be taken by some women who are unable to take the combined pill. 

• It can also be used during breastfeeding. 


• The mini pill offers no protection against sexually transmitted infections. 

• The use of the mini pill can lead to irregular periods. 


• If taken properly, the mini pill is thought to be 99%effective. 

• This means that one woman in every 100 using the mini pill will get pregnant in a year. 


• The mini pill must be taken at the same time each day. 

• Taking it more than three hours late can affect its effectiveness. 

• Vomiting soon after taking it or severe diarrhoea can mean that you are not protected. 


effectiveness of the progestogen-only pill. 


• The progestogen-only pill is not suitable for all women. 


illnesses or conditions suffered by immediate family members, including history of stroke, 

liver disorder, blood disorder, etc. 

page 48

Appendix 8 

APPENDIX6 


FAMILY LIFE 

(continued) 

Contraceptive Injection 

What it is? 

• An injection containing the hormone progestogen. 

• There are two main types of injectable contraceptive: Depo-Provera, which lasts for 12 weeks, 

and Noristerat, which lasts for 8 weeks. 

How it works? 

• The hormone progestogen stops ovulation and thickens the mucus around the cervix (neck of 

the womb). 

• This makes it difficult for sperm to get into the womb. 

Advantages? 

• The contraceptive injection does not interrupt sex. 

• Women do not have to remember to take a pill each day. 

• Can offer some protection against cancer of the womb. 


• The contraceptive injection does not offer any protection against sexually transmitted infections. 

• Periods may become irregular, and may even stop altogether. 

• Can cause headaches and skin problems. 

• After stopping treatment, it can take a year or more for regular periods to return. 

• Possible side effects last for as long as the injection lasts, if not longer. 

• Depo-Provera works by lowering levels of the female hormone oestrogen, and this can cause a 

slight thinning of the bones by reducing bone mineral density and possibly leading to the 

development of other medical conditions such as osteoporosis. 


• Injectable contraception is thought to be 99% effective. 

• This means that 1 woman in every 100 using injectable contraception will get pregnant in a year. 



effectiveness of the injectable contraceptive. 

• Follow-up injections must be given on time. 


• The contraceptive injection is not suitable for all women. 

• A doctor or nurse will need to know about the woman’s medical history, including any illnesses 

or conditions suffered by immediate family members, including history of stroke, liver disorder, 

blood disorder, etc. 

page 49

Appendix 7 

6 


APPENDIX Responsible in Love: FAMILY LIFE 

(continued) 

Contraceptive Patch 

What it is? 

• The contraceptive patch is a small beige patch applied to the skin, just like a plaster, and 

which protects against pregnancy. 

How it works? 

• The patch releases two hormones, oestrogen and progestogen, into the bloodstream through 

the skin. 

• It stops the ovaries from releasing an egg. 

• It thickens the mucus around the cervix (neck of the womb) making it difficult for sperm to get 

into the womb. 

• Patches can be worn discretely on most areas of the body, including the arm, shoulders and 

buttocks, but should not be applied to the breasts or to broken and/or irritated skin. 

• The patch works continuously for seven days, but must be removed and disposed of on the 

eight day, immediately replacing it with a new one. 

• After wearing a patch for three weeks you don’t wear one for 7 days, after which a new patch 

is applied and a new cycle of 3 weeks with a patch and 1 week without begins again. 

Advantages? 

• The use of a contraceptive patch does not interrupt sex. 

• The patch can be worn while swimming, having a bath or exercising. 

• Women do not have to remember to take a pill. 


• The contraceptive patch offers no protection against sexually transmitted infections. 

• It can lead to severe headaches and skin problems. 

• Since it contains the same hormones as the combined pill, it can lead to a number of potential 

side effects, including blood clots and breast cancer. 


• If used properly, the contraceptive patch is thought to be 99% effective. 

• This means that 1 woman in every 100 using a contraceptive patch will get pregnant in a year. 


• The patch must be changed after seven days of constant wearing. 

• If a patch fall off and is not reapplied or a new one put on the patch cannot be guaranteed to 

work effectively. 

• The use of some prescription and complementary medicines, including antibiotics, medicines 

to treat epilepsy, HIV and TB, and the complementary medicine St John’s Wort, can negate 

the effectiveness of the patch. 


• The contraceptive patch is not suitable for all women. 

• A doctor or nurse will need to know about the woman’s medical history, including any illnesses 

or conditions suffered by immediate family members, including history of stroke, liver disorder, 

blood disorder, etc. 

page 50

Appendix 8 

APPENDIX6 


(continued) 

Contraceptive Implant 

What it is? 

• The contraceptive implant is a small rod containing the hormone progestogen. 

• It is inserted under the skin, usually on the upper arm, and will last for up to three years. 

How it works? 

• The hormone progestogen stops ovulation. 

• It also thickens the mucus around the cervix and makes it difficult for sperm to enter the 

womb. 

Advantages? 

• The contraceptive implant does not interrupt sex. 

• It can work for up to three years. 

• Fertility returns immediately following the removal of the implant. 


• The contraceptive patch offers no protection against sexually transmitted infections. 

• Periods may become irregular or stop altogether. 

• It can cause severe headaches and skin problems. 


• The contraceptive patch is thought to be 99% effective. 

• This means that one woman in every 100 using the contraceptive patch will get pregnant in a 

year. 



effectiveness of the patch. 


• The contraceptive patch is not suitable for all women. 

• A doctor or nurse will need to know about the woman’s medical history, including history of 

stroke, liver disorder, blood disorder, etc. 

page 51

Appendix 7 

6 



(continued) 

Intrauterine Device (IUD) 

What it is? 

• The IUD is a small plastic and copper device, often T-shaped, which is inserted into the 

womb. 

• Also available is the intrauterine contraceptive implant, which consists of copper beads 

threaded on to a length of nylon and which is attached to the top of the womb. 

How it works? 

• The IUD stops sperm and egg meeting 

• It may also stop a fertilised egg from implanting in the womb. 

• The action of an IUD may be described as ‘contraceptive’ in preventing an egg and sperm 

meeting, but may also be described as ‘abortifacient’ in preventing the implantation of an 

already fertilised egg. 

Advantages? 

• The use of an IUD does not interrupt sex. 

• It works immediately after insertion. 

• It continues to work for between 3 to 10 years, depending on the type of IUD fitted. 


• An IUD offers no protection against sexually transmitted infections. 

• Periods may become heavier, more painful or last longer. 

• If it fails there is a risk that a pregnancy will develop in the fallopian tube, known as an ectopic 

pregnancy. 


• Depending on the type used, IUDs are thought to be between 98 and 99% effective. 

• This means that between 1 and 2 women in every 100 using an IUD will get pregnant in a 

year. 


• If the IUD moves out of place it will be less effective. 

• Regular check ups are important. 


• The IUD is not suitable for all women. 

• A doctor or nurse will need to know about a woman’s medical history and that of her 

immediate family to see if there are any medical reasons why it might not be suitable. 

• It is not usually the first choice of contraceptive method for women who have not had 

children. 

page 52

Appendix 8 

APPENDIX6 


FAMILY LIFE 

(continued) 

Diaphragm/Cap with spermicide 

What it is? 

• A flexible rubber or silicone dome-shaped device which is used along with a spermicide. 

• It is placed in the vagina to cover the cervix (neck of the womb) each time a woman has sex. 

How it works? 

• The Diaphragm or Cap prevents sperm from entering the womb. 

Advantages? 

• The Diaphragm may prevent against some sexually transmitted infections and cancer of the 

cervix. 

• It only needs to be used during sex. 

• It can be put in before sex. 


• Putting the Diaphragm in can interrupt sex. 

• It must be initially fitted by a doctor or nurse to make sure that it is the right size. 

• It can cause cystitis. 


• If used properly, the Diaphragm is thought to be 92 to 96% effective. 

• This means that between 4 and 8 women in every 100 using a Diaphragm will get pregnant in 

a year. 


• The Diaphragm or Cap must be left in place for 8 hours after sex. 

• More spermicide must be used if you have sex again, or if you have sex more than three 

hours after inserting it. 

• If a woman gains or loses more than 7lbs in weight, has a baby, a miscarriage or an abortion, 

the fitting of the Diaphragm/Cap must be checked by a doctor or nurse to ensure that it still 

fits. 


• Diaphragms/Caps are suitable for most women. 

• Some women are allergic to rubber or spermicides or may have other conditions which 

prevent a diaphragm or cap from being used. 

page 53

Appendix 7 

6 



(continued) 

Female Sterilisation 

What it is? 

• Female sterilisation involves an operation to block or cut the fallopian tubes. 

How it works? 

• Eggs are unable to travel down the cut or blocked tubes to meet sperm. 

Advantages? 

• This is a permanent method of contraception. 


• Female sterilisation offers no protection against sexually transmitted infections. 

• In rare cases, fallopian tubes that have been cut can rejoin. 


• Female sterilisation is thought to be over 99% effective. 

• This means that fewer than 1 in every 100 women who have been sterilised will get pregnant 

in a year. 


• This method is only chosen by women who are not intending to have any(further) children. 

• For this reason it is very rarely performed on young women. 

Male Sterilisation 

What it is? 

• Male sterilisation involves a minor operation to block or cut the tubes carrying sperm. 

How it works? 

• Male sterilisation works since there are no sperm cells present in the semen. 

Advantages? 

• Male sterilisation is a permanent method of contraception. 


• Male sterilisation offers no protection against sexually transmitted infections. 

• In a small number of men, the tubes may subsequently rejoin. 


• Male sterilisation is thought to be over 99% effective. 

• This means that fewer than 1 in every 100 women whose partners who have been sterilised 

will get pregnant in a year. 


• This method is usually chosen by men who are not intending to have any (further) children. 

• For this reason it is rarely performed on young men. 

page 54

Appendix 8 

APPENDIX6 


FAMILY LIFE 

(continued) 

Emergency Contraception 

What it is? 

• Emergency contraception, sometimes referred to as the ‘morning-after pill’ is a dose of two 

pills taken at specific intervals, or as a single pill. 

• It is taken within 72 hours of sexual intercourse to prevent pregnancy. 

How it works? 

• Emergency contraception prevents a fertilised egg from implanting in the lining of the 

womb. 

Advantages? 

• Emergency contraception can be used where it is believed that the usual method of 

contraception has not worked. 

• It can be used in extreme circumstances, such as to prevent pregnancy following a rape. 


• Emergency contraception must be taken as soon as possible after intercourse and certainly 

within 72 hours. 

• If fertilisation and implantation have already occurred, emergency contraception will not 

work and pregnancy has occurred. 


• If taken up to 72 hours after intercourse, Emergency Contraception has a variable rate of 

effectiveness. 

• If taken up to 24 hours after intercourse, it is thought to be 95% effective. 

• This falls to 85% effective if taken between 25 and 48 hours, and to 58% if taken between 

49 and 72 hours. 


• It may only be effective up to 72 hours after intercourse. 

• The longer the length of time after intercourse it is taken the less likely it is to be effective. 


Emergency contraception is not suitable for all women. 


illnesses or conditions suffered by immediate family members, including history of stroke, 

liver disorder, blood disorder, etc. 

• Emergency contraception is not intended to be used frequently, and if taken more than once 

is likely to alter the timing of the woman’s next period. 

• This would put her at a greater risk of pregnancy. 

page 55

Resource 

Sheet 

1 

Responsible in Love: MY STANDPOINT 

Statement 1 2 3 4 5 

1 Living together is the same as being married. 

2 The Catholic Church is totally opposed to contraception. 

3 I am free to have as many sexual partners as I want. 

4 Pornography is harmless. 

5 The Catholic Church’s view on sex is old fashioned 

and dated. 

6 Homosexuality is a sin. 

7 If I marry, I want my partner to be a virgin. 

8 People have sex to make babies. 

9 Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be 

easily treated. 

10 Having sex on a first date is okay. 

11 Most teenagers of my age have had sex. 

12 Sex is about having a good time. 

page 56

Resource 

Sheet 

2 

Responsible in Love: THE VIEWS OF OTHERS 

Statement 1 2 3 4 5 

M F M F M F M F M F 

1 Living together is the same as being married. 

2 The Catholic Church is totally opposed to contraception. 

3 I am free to have as many sexual partners as I want. 

4 Pornography is harmless. 

5 The Catholic Church’s view on sex is old fashioned 

and dated. 

6 Homosexuality is a sin. 

7 If I marry, I want my partner to be a virgin. 

8 People have sex to make babies. 

9 Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be 

easily treated. 

10 Having sex on a first date is okay. 

11 Most teenagers of my age have had sex. 

12 Sex is about having a good time. 

page 57

Resource 

Sheet 

Louisa - the daughter 

3 

Responsible in Love: CHARACTERS’ VIEWPOINTS 

I think that I am being responsible about this. After all, I came to my mum and asked her advice. 

Lots of my friends have just got on with it and deceived their parents. I think that I love Jason 

and I want to show him how much I love him. He is desperate to have sex with me - I can hardly 

hold him off! I can’t see what harm it can do anyone. Jason and I will be able to be together, I 

won’t get pregnant and Mum and Dad won’t get mad. I’m afraid to lose Jason as my boyfriend, 

but will he still love me once we’ve done it? What would my Gran say if she knew about this? 

Jason - the boyfriend 

I don’t know what all the fuss is about. It’s just sex! I’ve done it with other girls who had no 

problems about it. How can a guy go on holiday with a girl and not do it? It’s not natural. 

Louisa keeps putting me off, as if something’s wrong. But I’m sure it’s just nerves. We’ll go on 

holiday, we’ll be together day and night, we’ll enjoy each other’s bodies and have great fun. 

What could be healthier and more natural than that? And we’ll see where it goes from there. 

Christine - the mother 

In a sense I was pleased that Louisa spoke to me about this - once I got over the shock. We 

don’t know Jason that well, really, although they’ve being going out for a couple of months now. 

I’m not very ecstatic about the holiday idea, but I suppose that young people are all doing this 

now. It just seems to be the way things are. The most important thing is that no harm comes 

out of it. The last thing Louisa needs is getting pregnant. So I think that she should go the 

Health Centre and see our GP about going on the Pill right away. I’m not sure about telling 

Frank. As her Dad, he has a right to know, I suppose. But I’m worried about how he will react. 

And how will that affect Louisa? 

Frank - the dad 

I suppose that Louisa, being our eldest child, has been the one who has suffered while Christine 

and I have learned how to be good parents. I hope that we have learned from all our first time 

mistakes with her. I can still remember how I felt the first time I realised that she was 

“interested” in boys. Silly, but natural, I suppose. A parent’s instincts are to protect his children 

from any ‘threat’. Now I am much more relaxed. This Jason boy has seemed quite nice when 

we’ve seen him. But I know Louisa is not serious about him. Her mum and I are really proud 

that she is a sensible girl. We’ve not rammed the Ten Commandments down her throat, but 

she’s been brought up to know right from wrong. She won’t do anything daft. 

page 58

Resource 

Sheet 

4 

Responsible in Love: RESPECTING DIGNITY 

Statement A N U 

1 There is no harm in prostitution, since it is a business 

arrangement between two consenting adults. 

2 Pornography is harmless, and besides the people involved are 

professionals and get well paid. 

3 If I knew I had a sexually transmitted infection I would immediately 

tell my partner. 

4 It doesn’t matter how many sexual partners I have. 

In fact, the more the merrier. 

5 I can do drugs if I want, since it doesn’t harm anyone else. 

It’s my life anyway. 

6 I am saving sex for the person I marry, and anyone who doesn’t 

respect my feelings obviously doesn’t respect me. 

7 Going out and getting drunk every weekend is what life is all about. 

You are only young once. 

8 Living together is better than being married, since it is much less 

messy if you split up. 

9 I have a responsibility to look after my own health and well-being. 

Therefore I am very careful in the lifestyle choices I make. 

10 You could tell she was up for it. I mean, you only had to look at the 

way she was dressed. 

11 I’m not into deep and meaningful relationships. 

I just want to have sex. 

12 Using contraceptives makes it much easier to sleep around and to 

have a promiscuous lifestyle. 

page 59

Resource 

Sheet 

5 

Responsible in Love: USING OBJECTS 

1. What needs to be put in the tank of this 

machine to make it start? 

2. Would you consider putting any other 

liquid into the tank? 

3. What might the consequences be if you 

were to do this? 

1. What would you do with this machine? 

2. What else might you need to use? 

3. Would it be appropriate to put heavy or 

metallic objects into it? 

4. What might be the consequences if you 

did this? 

1. What would you normally do with a machine 

like this? 

2. Why would it be a good idea to keep this 

machine away from water? 

3. If you could not see the picture clearly, would 

you hit this machine with a hammer? 

4. What might the consequences be if you were 

to do this? 

1. What would you usually use a machine 

like this for? 

2. Would you usually use it as a hammer? 

3. What might the consequences be if you 

were to do this? 

page 60

✂ 

Resource 

Sheet 

6 


REASONS FOR LIVING 

TOGETHER 

Itʼs more convenient 

We love each other 

Iʼm scared of being alone 

Sex is readily available 

If Iʼm not sexually satisfied 

then I can leave 

Iʼm afraid of being restricted 

in a marriage 

We want to be flexible in 

the relationships we have 

We donʼt need a piece of 

paper to show our 

commitment 

We want to avoid the 

possible stress and 

expense of a divorce 

We need to know one 

another first 

Iʼm scared of committing 

in case someone better 

comes along 

We are trying to save money 

for the wedding 

For the sake of the children 

We are not able to get 

married 

Because of the high 

divorce rate we want 

to see if things work 

out first 

page 61

Resource 

Sheet 

7 

Responsible in Love: CARD SORT 

(should be enlarged to A3 size) 

page 62

Resource 

Sheet 

8 


USING ANOTHER: 

SOME CONSEQUENCES 

1 Loss of virginity 

• Feelings of regret after first intercourse are commonly experienced, especially by young women. 

• If virginity has been lost, the next best thing is to abstain from further sex until in a permanent, 

loving relationship – i.e. marriage. 

• The greatest gift you can give to another person is the gift of yourself, body and soul. This gift has 

lost something of its meaning if you have previously shared it with someone else. 

2 Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) 

• There are a number of infections which are caught exclusively by having close intimate contact 

with another person, such as Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, Genital Herpes, Syphilis, and Human 

Papilloma Virus (HPV), or Genital Warts. 

• Other possible infections, such as HIV, can also be transmitted through intimate sexual contact, 

although in the case of HIV the virus can also be passed on through intravenous drug use in 

sharing needles and by coming into contact with contaminated body fluids, particularly blood. 

(All blood donated in Britain is now routinely screened for the presence of the virus). 

• Some of the more common STIs are asymptomatic. You may be infected with the virus but not 

show any symptoms and therefore be unaware of having it, unless specifically tested for its 

presence. 

• While some of these STIs can be treated, it is possible for them to recur, and to be passed on to 

any sexual partner that you have. 

• Use of a condom (male and female) does offer some protection against some of these STIs but is 

not completely safe, particularly in the case of Genital Warts, since this affects the entire genital 

area, and not just the part covered by the condom. 

3 Loss of trust in future relationships 

• In a casual relationship, sex can become taken for granted and lose its nuptial meaning. 

• If you are casual about whom you have sex with before you are married, there is a danger that you 

may become casual about sex within marriage. 

• It may be difficult to fully trust someone after marriage if they have shown lack of self-control 

before marriage. 

4 Casual sex can lead to issues of regret 

• The guilt often felt as a result of casual sex can make the development of a relationship more 

difficult. 

• Many young people wish they had postponed their first sexual encounter because of the quality of 

this first experience. 

• The act of sex is often associated with a desire for security, stability and acceptance. However in 

casual sex, these things are not present simply because of the casual nature of the situation. 

page 63

Resource 

Sheet 

8 

Responsible 

5 A baby may result 

in Love: 

USING ANOTHER: SOME 

CONSEQUENCES (Continued) 

• No method of contraception is 100% safe. The Pill may be the safest, but it still has a significant 

failure rate and provides no protection against STIs. 

• Mechanical contraceptives – condom, diaphragm, intrauterine device (IUD) etc. have variable 

failure rates. The condom offers some protection against STIs but other mechanical means offer 

no protection. 

• Prior to having sex and becoming pregnant, a young girl or a woman has an almost unlimited 

number of choices in life open to them. However once they become pregnant their number of 

options is reduced to three, none of which are necessarily easy or straightforward. 

• Once pregnant, you have the choice to parent the child, to have the child and put it up for 

adoption, or to have an abortion. 

• Choosing to parent the child may not be an easy option, depending on the age and circumstances 

of the mother. 

• Choosing to have the baby and to place it into an adoption programme is not an easy answer, but 

in this way the child enjoys its right to life. 

• Adoption also allows another couple who, for whatever reason, are not able to have a baby of their 

own, the opportunity to show their love to this baby and give it a happy home. 

• Choosing to abort the baby is not completely safe or without possible side effects, especially if the 

mother is further into her gestational period. There is the possibility of sterility later in life, the risk 

of possible miscarriage or premature birth in a subsequent pregnancy. 

• An abortion can also lead to severe depression and feelings of extreme remorse that can last for 

any years after the event. 

• Choosing to proceed with an ‘unwanted’ pregnancy may also have an impact on the mother and 

other family members, especially in terms of bonding and formation of relationships. This can also 

have a significant impact on the emotional wellbeing of the child if they are ever told that they were 

‘unwanted’. 

6 Casual sex reduces someone to an object or thing to be used 

• When you have sex with someone, you are saying something very deep and profound with your 

body. 

• If you are not married, your mind is saying something completely different, for you are not able to 

give of yourself completely. 

• Casual sex removes the dignity of the human. 

• In the act of casual sex you are treating an individual as an object from which to derive pleasure 

and personal gratification. 

• The relationship is one of ‘use’, not one of ‘love’. 

page 64

© Scottish Catholic Education Service 2008 

Scottish Catholic Education Service 

75 Craigpark, Glasgow G31 2HD 

Tel: 0141 556 4727 

Fax: 0141 551 8467 

Email: mail@sces.uk.com 

Web: www.sces.uk.com

CTL S6 Teacher Book

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