Siyaya Maintenance Issue 2

SIYAYA MAINTENACE
ISSUE 2 MARCH 2021
THE LATEST
DO's and
DON'T's IN
HOUSE
MAINTENANCE
OUR
GENDER
BASED
VIOLENCE
ISSUE
TIRED OF
FIGURING
OUT WHAT
TO EAT?
IN THE KITCHEN
WITH ANN GOT
YOU
THEMBI
MAPHANGA
"NOBODY IS GOING TO LOOK
AT YOU LIKE I AM LOOKING
AT YOU NOW"

M A R C 2 0 2 1 I S S U E 2
THE CHAIRMAN
CORNER
Alek Mphela
This must be the most difficult note I have ever written,
having to deal with Gender Based Violence (GBV) so early on
in our fairly new Newsletter; but it is a topic that we cannot
afford to ignore. South Africa is dealing with 2 pandemics all
at ones; Covid-19 and GBV.
We live in a country where women don't feel safe no matter
the time of the day, a country where the justice system is
also not doing enough to protect women and children. In
this issue we look at the story of Ms. Thembi Maphanga who
was burnt alive by someone she trusted. The many stories
of GBV in this issue made me think of the many cases that
are not reported because women don't want to relive their
traumas in our court systems.
We also bring fought the quarterly crime statistics released by the Minister of Police Bheki Cele
on the weekend of 19 February 2021 where he highlighted concerning figures. In short, South
African woman and children are in hell under the wrath of people who are supposed to care
for them.
So excited to also introduce our food blogger, In the kitchen with Ann who will be sharing
hearty meals with us on a monthly basis. I can't wait for you all to try out her recipes and share
with your results with us. I promise you, she knows her way in the kitchen.
We cannot afford to forget our mission and goal, to ensure that you live in a safe and
comfortable home. Siyaya Maintenance brings you the "Dos and Don't's in house
maintenance". We dig deep into the smallest but most important things to do when you decide
to revamp your house. Don't forget to visit www.siyayamaintenance.co.za for the most
stressless and professional service.
Make use of our free advertising space and take advantage of this moment to get your
business out there.
Don't forget to follow us on all our social media pages to get discount information and share
our work. Share our newsletter with your friends, families and colleagues and remind them to
subscribe to our Newsletter. I hope you enjoy this issue and send us your feedback.
Remember to stay safe; wash your hands, wear your mask, sanitize and avoid large
gatherings.
Signed
AM Mphela

M A R C 2 0 2 1 I S S U E 2
Meet Ms. T - The Burnt Survivor
Due to Covid-19, I met with Thembi Maphanga known as Ms.T on a
zoom meeting on a Sunday afternoon of Valentine's Day, I quickly
wished her a Happy Valentine's Day and she immediately corrected
me that she does not believe in Valentine's theory. Got my foot right
into it, my first introduction was already off.
"I always tell people, the Thembi that went into that coma is still the
same Thembi just in a different look." These are the first words she
said said to me and immediately I took off the hat of talking to
someone burnt and listened.
I also have to mention that Thembi has a very commanding voice, it screamed "I am talking, listen
to me" and you immediately listen.
"I grew up in a small town in Mpumalanga, Witbank; intelligent , bubbly and happy. Unfortunately
I lost both my parents at the age of sixteen (16) and as an older child I had to take care of my
siblings. That is when I understood that being matured was necessary. I had to grow up too fast.
It was tough growing up without parents but I always knew that I had to get educated and that is
what I did." She continued.
In the adversity of being born
at 26 weeks, her baby survived
and was breathing on her own
after a year on oxygen.
She got a scholarship after her matric year and went through college without any problems . She
was living her life exactly as she planned. At the age of 28 she moved to a small town of
Middleburg in Mpumalanga because of work, she had big plans for her life.
"I was 28 when I met someone who complemented me, it was a cherry on top. I was working and
everything seemed perfect. We were clicking in every way, he could finish my sentences and it
was like we were made for each other. We were young and had big dreams and he was so
supportive in things I did. Then suddenly, I was pregnant."
Two years into their relationship they found themselves pregnant, though unplanned, they were
ready for the challenge that lied ahead and embraced the news.
"When we visited the doctor we were told we are carrying twins, a girl and a boy. It was amazing
news."Said Thembi.

M A R C 2 0 2 1 I S S U E 2
"One day he came back from work and told me that he quit his job, he was a bar manager at
that time. He did it without talking to me. He said the reason he quit was because he wanted to
be there for me and the kids with a job that is not straining. Of course I was shocked but it was
done. I was not worried as I would be able to manage the household well financially on my
own."
Thembi's partner stayed home while she went to work daily and pregnant. He started being
nosey with silly things that initially were never an issue in their relationship.
"I excused the behaviour to the stress of not working. I'd share with friends about what was
going on in my household, I obviously excused him but they kept reminding me that this person
quit his job, he can't blame anyone. I always protected him. The more he struggled to get a job,
the more agitated he became. The silly comments about what I was wearing then a slap
followed now and then. Of course he would apologise every time and promised me that he
wont do it again."
Thembi was rushed to the hospital at 26 weeks pregnant of which the doctor decided to book
her for bed rest and she was admitted the same day.
"The following morning I was told that one of my babies heartbeat was not responding. To save
our second baby, they performed an emergency c-section and my baby girl was born on 16
February 2008 weighing 900g, unfortunately we lost the boy. It was a very challenging period,
losing a child and having another one in an incubator."
"The problem still persists and requires
more than changes in legislation and policy
to be eradicated." - Key Point 1 - President
Ramaphosa (16 Days of Activism Against
GBV)
Their daughter stayed in an incubator for 6 months, when she was finally discharged she was
still on oxygen which they took home. It was during the stage when loadshedding in South Africa
was introduced. They made it a point to organise with their municipality not to loadshed them
as their daughter depended on an oxygen machine which needed electricity. Their daughter
was taken off oxygen after a year and her baby daddy finally found a job in the same year. They
even managed to moved to a new house with an alive happy baby.
"The abuse went on until I believed that it was his character, it is who he is and he is not a bad
person. I used to remind myself not to get him angry. He always promised me that he will fix
himself and he will get help. I was not going to toss him out, he was my baby daddy. We
searched for places where he can get help and he promised to commit when he was ready but
never did.

M A R C 2 0 2 1 I S S U E 2
14 March 2010 - The day that changed everything
On 13 March 2010, Thembi's best friend had a house warming and she was excited about that.
Being the good cook that she was, she was responsible for the catering of the day.
"I woke up in the morning excited and reminded him about the house warming. I told him that
my friend will be picking me up later and he can follow me in the afternoon as everything started
a bit late. He agreed and it was settled. He did make it. I was in my apron the whole day and there
were colleagues and friends everywhere. Everyone was surprised that I was such a good cook,
there were a lot of compliments, nice conversations and hugs here and there. He started getting
annoyed and out of nowhere he grabbed me and started pulling me demanding that we leave
the party. I did not leave but reminded him why I was there. He was such a charmer and for him
to lose it like that in front of people was unlike him. Questions started flying around with people
wondering if that was what was going on in our household."
"Above all, we salute the neighbour that opens her home to a
vulnerable mother and children, the co-worker who accompanies the
survivor of violence to the hospital, police station, or a shelter; and
the friend who does not stand by and watch a woman or a child being
abused, but intervenes." - Key Point 2 - President Ramaphosa (16 Days
of Activism against GBV)
He finally decided to leave the party on his own after the scene he caused. He did not come
home that night. Thembi tried to call him a couple of times when she got home until he
responded, telling her that he will be spending the night at his mother's house.
"I didn't worry about him at all as I didn't want to ruin my friend party. The following morning of
14 March 2010 he came home. He said to me, remember that thing we spoke about? That I am
going to fix myself? I think it is time as I realise I am getting out of control. He said he was back to
pick up his things so he go try to get some help. He got busy in the house for such a long time, I
was not sure what he was doing but I was tired from the events of the previous day, I just wanted
to rest. He approAched me asking to talk in private. He looked at me and said, NO ONE IS GOING
TO LOOK AT YOU LIKE I AM LOOKING AT YOU NOW, I did not know what he meant and I took his
words lightly."
Thembi's daughter was home with her, she made it a point to spend time with her every moment
she got because she was a working mom. She was only 2 years old at that time. She followed him
into the bedroom where he asked to talk so did their daughter. She expected an apology after
yesterday''s events but none came.
"I realised that he was not free or comfortable, he was pacing around. He went to his side of the
bed and pulled out a 5L bottle which I assumed was wine. He worked in a winery at that time and
he used to bring lots of wine that was leaking and we would store it in 5L bottles. I thought
maybe I must bring glasses, he wants to talk while sipping wine. The next thing I knew the
contents of that bottle were all over me and I realised that this was petrol."

M A R C 2 0 2 1 I S S U E 2
Thembi's initial response was to fight him off and make sure he does not light her up.
"I tried so hard to fight him not to light me up, separated his hands but because he was a man
and obviously stronger, I lost. The next thing I knew there was fire everywhere, I was in fire and
the whole room was in flames. I could here my daughter screaming helplessly as I closed my
eyes trying to protect them against the fire."
He did not stay there to burn with them but he used the bedroom window as he locked the doo
to get out of the room, there was so much damage done to Thembi already and she gave
herself a moment to think. She did the same, followed him through the same window. She ran
to the tap and poured herself with water.
"The area we lived in was a new development area, there were no yards, fortunately the
neighbours noticed that there was smoke coming out and came out to help. I immediately told
them my daughter was still in there. They managed to take her out, she was not much burnt
and that was a relief for me. I did not feel any pain, I was just very exhausted."
"I woke up from the coma
after 5 months and for a while
I could not talk because of the
tubes in my mouth."
Thembi and her daughter were flew out of Middleburg in different choppers to one of the
private hospitals in Gauteng. All she could thing about was her daughter, that she prays
someone out there will take care of her and she will have a fulfilling life as there was no way she
was going to leave with the amount of burns on her body. She slipped into a coma on her way
there, it was the last time she saw her daughter. She was in coma for 5 months, from March to
July 202.
"When I woke I could not talk because of the tubes in my mouth, I was heavily sedated, getting
in and out of sleep. The moment I could finally talk, the first person I asked for was my daughter,
is she ok, who is taking care of her, she must be out of the hospital by now. No one gave me a
response immediately but moments after that a psychiatric walked in to inform me that my
baby passed away three days after the incident from smoke inhalation, her lungs never fully
developed as she was born at 26 weeks. Right there I did not want to leave anymore, I wanted
to die. There was no reason for me to continue this life without her. "

M A R C 2 0 2 1 I S S U E 2
Thembi's Daughter at the age of 2 before she
passed on from the fire that disfigured her
mother

M A R C 2 0 2 1 I S S U E 2
The road to healing has not
been easy but Thembi
embraced it and kept going.
Nothing can bring this
amazing woman down.

M A R C 2 0 2 1 I S S U E 2
In May 2010 Thembi's partner decided to hand himself over to the police after being on the run
for a while. He was denied bail and stayed in prison until Thembi was well enough to give her
testimony. One morning a couple of days after being discharged from hospital she woke up,
didn't tell anyone and decided to go confront him in prison, he did not say a word to her but
just cried, she did all the talking. In February 2011, he was sentenced to 10 years in prison with
10 years suspended.
"His sentence was like a slap on the face. Here I was, disfigured, lost my daughter and so much
financially and all he got was a 10 years sentence with 5 years suspended. All I could say was
wow. While I was still finding my feet trying to figure things out and how to live in this body he
was out of prison, two and a half years later he was out roaming the streets and living his life. A "
A year after his release, Thembi was informed that he passed away. She screamed in
celebration of his death but just a moment after she started thinking that he is not dead, he ran
away. There was is no way he passed without experiencing her healing.
"I felt cheated, I wanted him to live and see me heal. Why must he die? It has been 10 years now
and I am still healing my skin, I have a tired face that does not move, only my mouth does. I
appreciate life so much . I had already forgiven him, I did not want to walk around with that kind
of baggage and anger. I wanted to be free from him and evrything that happened that time."
"Women from the majority of those engaged in care
work and it is in the main unpaid. Acknowledging its
important contribution, not just to the economy but to
society, is key to advancing gender equality" - Key
Point 3 - President Ramaphosa (16 Day of Activism
against GBV)
Thembi started to look around for support groups, people who went through the same ordeal
as she did but she could not find anyone like her around South Africa, every person that
popped up on her search pages were from outside SA.
"Looking for a support group made me realise that this kind of things are not spoken off. I am
here; surely there are people like me out there. I love life, the scars were painful but they are a
part of me now. My recovery and healing are my motivation, every time I feel down, I look at my
scars and think I am healed, I am alive. I think of my daughter that I get to represent, that she
was here, alive and this is our story. This is how much I respect and love life. I just want to be
normal. The Thembi that was before and the Thembi that is today is one person trapped in one
body. I Jjust had to sync, connect and remind myself on a daily that this is me and I just want to
be me , for a very long time I could not even recognise myself. There was a time I looked at my
body and thought, what is this? I took a decision that I am going to heal and live this life well. I
know there are a lot of starring and being looked at funny. I deceded I am going to replace the
pain that I went through and not miss out on anything that life offers

M A R C 2 0 2 1 I S S U E 2
Thembi has a couple of movements that she is involved in, the first one that gained traction was
"Stop Starring, it's Only Scar". The movement have women more than a hundred with different
kind of scars who come together and help each other heal. They meet 3 times a year just to
touch base, the movement is funded from her pocket with donations here and there. They really
need donors to help them touch and help more women.
I asked her what is it that she wants to see change and how she wants to see the government
handle Gender Based Violence (GBV)?
"2 years ago we walked on this movement regarding GBV to the Union Buildings in Pretoria to
meet President Cyril Ramaphosa. It was a thousand of us but instead of the president showing
up he sent Minister Naledi Pandor. It was such a disappointment for us because he knew we
were coming to meet him, we wanted him to see us first hand and how deeply we are hurt by
this thing. I have no hope that the government will ever do anything for us. I get numb every
time I think about the sentence that my ex was given. All I do is tell women to notice the signs
and be aware of the treatment. It definitely does not start with a beating; that is all we can do
because the government will never do anything to help us. Women, we are on our own."
I can talk about Mr. T the whole day and year, hearing her story first hand from her got me so
emotional throughout the interview. There were times were I was completely shut and just
listened to her. All I could think was the fact that this was done by someone she loved and
trusted. We know that GBV in South Africa is a pandemic on its own and there are no available
methods to protect victims of GBV. Every other day we hear about a woman that was killed by
her partner, uncle, friend or father. I in 2 women in South Africa is abused. What now?
"Although GBV has an obvious impact on the
health and safety of women and children, the
crisis inevitably affects the entire country on a
political, social and economic level." - Key Point 4
- President Ramaphosa (16 Days of Activism
Against GBV)

M A R C 2 0 2 1 I S S U E 2
According to crime stats released by the Police Minister Bheki Cele on 20
February 2021, 12 218 rape cases were reported between October 2020 and
December 2020. There are a lot of cases that are not reported.
132.8 women were
raped daily in South
Africa in 3 months
"Over 4900 of the rape
incidence took place at
the home of the victim
193 murder cases as
a result of domestic
violence
Police Minister Bheki Cele conceded that 76% of police stations
nationwide do not have rape kits which are used to gather and
preserve evidence in cases of domestic violence.
Action Society "The National
Forensic Science Laboratories (NFSL)
has ground to a near halt with over
125 000 cases - of which 92% are sexual
assault kits that have not been processed.
This has led to rapists roaming free."

M A R C 2 0 2 1 I S S U E 2

M A R C 2 0 2 1 I S S U E 2
in
House Maintenance
Thinking of keeping
your property up to
standard but don't
know how? We've
got you.
Do's
Schedule frequent safety checks
Do participate in preventative
maintenance
Don't's
Don't ignore repairs deemed to
be small
Don't cut corners
Don't allow unprofessional
people to do your job
Do work with qualified
professionals
Finally, hire a
professional!
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