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SUNDAY VANGUARD, FEBRUARY 28, 2021, PAGE 25<br />
By Josephine Agbonkhese<br />
08054650907<br />
Email: jossynovia@gmail.com<br />
•MAUREEN<br />
By Josephine Agbonkhese<br />
Arecipient of the Women Economic Forum 2020 Award, a style<br />
entrepreneur of repute, and an alumna of the Metropolitan<br />
School of Business and Management, United Kingdom; the<br />
Lagos Business School; Strathmore Business School, Kenya; and the<br />
Lagos State University, Olaedo Maureen Emelie is on a single<br />
mission— to inspire women who are struggling to conceive.<br />
In this interview with Sunday Vanguard, the Founder of Tales of Trying<br />
To Conceive, a platform under which she is realising her passion,<br />
recounts her personal infertility experience, reveals why a lot of<br />
couples stay longer on the waiting list, and speaks on her recently<br />
unveiled book Finally Pregnant!<br />
Why a book on delayed conception<br />
instead of one on business or<br />
management as an accomplished<br />
entrepreneur?<br />
Infertility is a challenge many families<br />
are faced with and I was there at the early<br />
stage of my marriage. It’s a place where<br />
victims mostly feel alone and left out. I<br />
saw the need to remind us that our stories<br />
may not actually be the worse. What you<br />
think might be your nightmare may<br />
actually have hopes written all-over it;<br />
and most times, it takes hearing another’s<br />
journey to understand it.<br />
I once had a seminar educating women<br />
on what’s more vital in this journey. We<br />
decided to speak on our different stories<br />
OLAEDO MAUREEN<br />
EMELIE:<br />
Tales of<br />
Trying To<br />
Conceive<br />
and by the time it got to the fifth person,<br />
we knew it was the best decision, seeing<br />
and hearing all the different versions of<br />
life struggles women go through to have<br />
children. It is important we keep<br />
reminding ourselves of how everything<br />
happens according to the plans of God;<br />
and these are the reasons for the book<br />
Finally Pregnant!<br />
Can you recount your experience<br />
on the waiting list?<br />
Oh wow, it’s really a place I wouldn’t<br />
wish anyone to be in. For my husband and<br />
I, we wanted a baby as soon as we<br />
concluded the marriage rites; so, you can<br />
imagine how frustrating it was for me.<br />
Nothing else mattered at some point. I<br />
kept moving from one clinic to the<br />
other for a solution, test after test, and<br />
always ended up being told “you are<br />
fine”. Our worst nightmare is our<br />
hopes being raised and<br />
dashed at the end of every<br />
test. I prayed to have a<br />
result that will point out<br />
what the delay was<br />
about but it almost<br />
took forever before the<br />
break came. Facing<br />
infertility is<br />
challenging and<br />
getting to the root<br />
cause is a quandary. It<br />
happened after the<br />
longest five years of our<br />
lives and we couldn’t be<br />
more grateful.<br />
What’s the hardest<br />
part of hoping to<br />
miss a menstrual<br />
flow each month?<br />
Oh, the dreaded two<br />
weeks wait. The simplest<br />
way to explain it is<br />
embedded in the word<br />
anxiety. Having to swallow<br />
the hard pill every month is<br />
troubling and most times, if<br />
care is not taking, one may<br />
begin to lose sanity and start<br />
dwelling in<br />
misery or self pity. From the<br />
beginning of every cycle,<br />
there is always a feeling that<br />
it will be the last time. From<br />
planning the best ovulating<br />
time, to trying to avoid<br />
stress in order to achieve the<br />
aim—which is pregnancy.<br />
So, when it fails, it’s simply<br />
devastating.<br />
How did it feel like to<br />
finally overcome the<br />
struggle?<br />
It felt like I already had<br />
the child when I got a<br />
positive pregnant test result.<br />
I was overwhelmed with joy.<br />
My praises to God was<br />
heard. In fact, I was so<br />
excited that I began to call<br />
everyone I know,<br />
announcing that I got a<br />
positive pregnant test. I<br />
suddenly felt like a<br />
complete woman in five years. In a<br />
nutshell, it’s still one of the best news of<br />
my life. I was amazed that everything had<br />
suddenly fallen into place.<br />
Looking back, do you think the<br />
anxiety was worth it?<br />
Finally<br />
Pregnant! is<br />
a riveting<br />
story of four<br />
women who<br />
found<br />
themselves<br />
drowning in<br />
misery<br />
To do justice to this question, I must not<br />
fail to mention that it is almost<br />
unavoidable. Wanting something and<br />
seeing others do it with ease while you<br />
struggle, is not easy; but at the same time,<br />
it’s best avoided if one can. Not everyone<br />
can the handle pressure that comes with<br />
the wait. Wanting something so badly and<br />
finding it hard to cope with the<br />
environment, gets the victim anxious. To<br />
avoid or minimise it, one may need to<br />
intentionally do things that take their<br />
mind off the worries from time to time.<br />
Intead of worrying each month,<br />
don’t you think couples should<br />
consider adoption after waiting a<br />
few years?<br />
Well, adoption is a good idea only if the<br />
couple involved are willing to go that<br />
route. It is not in any body’s place to<br />
suggest. However, it is a good thing to do.<br />
Our background and understanding are<br />
different; suggesting adoption to anyone<br />
may come off as you stating that they are<br />
not capable. It doesn’t mean that you are<br />
not a caring person but it is more like<br />
being insensitive. Everything about a<br />
couple going through infertility must be<br />
handled with care to avoid trigger.<br />
But what’s your view on the child<br />
adoption process in Nigeria; how<br />
should it be improved?<br />
The process involved in adopting a<br />
child in Nigeria is still cumbersome and<br />
it will be a welcome development if the<br />
time involved are shortened.<br />
From your experience, are there<br />
attitudes or habits that further<br />
delay conception?<br />
Yes. Many people are still struggling<br />
with infertility because of impatience.<br />
They tend to move from hospital to<br />
hospital without finding the major cause<br />
and finishing up a treatment or<br />
procedure. No one gets out of a trouble<br />
completely without understanding why<br />
and where it emanated from. So, treating<br />
infertility requires a valid test result<br />
before anything. They are mostly eager<br />
to get a result, forgetting that what Mrs A<br />
did to get a result might not work for Mrs<br />
B because of the peculiarities involved.<br />
So by the time they are trying that out, it’s<br />
usually a case of back to square one.<br />
A word of advice for women on the<br />
waiting list...?<br />
I understand that it is a difficult<br />
challenge but you can always help by<br />
being intentional about all you do. For<br />
instance, what were the things you<br />
planned doing before infertility? If you<br />
planned to become a business owner, have<br />
you allowed infertility to deny you that<br />
too?<br />
Have you been able to find out why the<br />
delay. If yes, are you consistent with a<br />
good fertility doctor? You need a fertility<br />
specialist to guide you through with all<br />
that you need to do.<br />
Who do you have in your circle and how<br />
helpful are they? Do you keep quality<br />
friends? How helpful can they be?<br />
All the above will help direct or redirect<br />
one trying to conceive.<br />
What will be your advice to<br />
members of the public concerning<br />
their perception of infertility?<br />
No one chose to be<br />
infertile. So, when you come<br />
across any couple facing<br />
infertility, be nice. Avoid the<br />
curiosity to ask questions; if<br />
you were not told, don’t get<br />
involved. It takes a lot to put<br />
up a good smile while going<br />
through infertility; don’t<br />
ruin it. That weight she<br />
added is not about<br />
pregnancy, so, don’t ask. If<br />
it’s pregnancy, time will tell.<br />
If you feel the need to pray<br />
for them, you can go ahead<br />
without getting them<br />
involved.<br />
Briefly on your book,<br />
Finally Pregnant!...<br />
Finally Pregnant! is a<br />
riveting story of four women<br />
who found themselves<br />
drowning in misery but<br />
found a way to be a support<br />
system to each other. It’s a<br />
book to remind us of a few other stories<br />
like ours or may be worse. It is to help<br />
you understand what and who is<br />
important in the journey, giving you tips<br />
on various ways to handle the challenge<br />
and most importantly, to remind you that<br />
you are not alone.