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SUNDAY VANGUARD, FEBRUARY 28, 2021, PAGE 25<br />

By Josephine Agbonkhese<br />

08054650907<br />

Email: jossynovia@gmail.com<br />

•MAUREEN<br />

By Josephine Agbonkhese<br />

Arecipient of the Women Economic Forum 2020 Award, a style<br />

entrepreneur of repute, and an alumna of the Metropolitan<br />

School of Business and Management, United Kingdom; the<br />

Lagos Business School; Strathmore Business School, Kenya; and the<br />

Lagos State University, Olaedo Maureen Emelie is on a single<br />

mission— to inspire women who are struggling to conceive.<br />

In this interview with Sunday Vanguard, the Founder of Tales of Trying<br />

To Conceive, a platform under which she is realising her passion,<br />

recounts her personal infertility experience, reveals why a lot of<br />

couples stay longer on the waiting list, and speaks on her recently<br />

unveiled book Finally Pregnant!<br />

Why a book on delayed conception<br />

instead of one on business or<br />

management as an accomplished<br />

entrepreneur?<br />

Infertility is a challenge many families<br />

are faced with and I was there at the early<br />

stage of my marriage. It’s a place where<br />

victims mostly feel alone and left out. I<br />

saw the need to remind us that our stories<br />

may not actually be the worse. What you<br />

think might be your nightmare may<br />

actually have hopes written all-over it;<br />

and most times, it takes hearing another’s<br />

journey to understand it.<br />

I once had a seminar educating women<br />

on what’s more vital in this journey. We<br />

decided to speak on our different stories<br />

OLAEDO MAUREEN<br />

EMELIE:<br />

Tales of<br />

Trying To<br />

Conceive<br />

and by the time it got to the fifth person,<br />

we knew it was the best decision, seeing<br />

and hearing all the different versions of<br />

life struggles women go through to have<br />

children. It is important we keep<br />

reminding ourselves of how everything<br />

happens according to the plans of God;<br />

and these are the reasons for the book<br />

Finally Pregnant!<br />

Can you recount your experience<br />

on the waiting list?<br />

Oh wow, it’s really a place I wouldn’t<br />

wish anyone to be in. For my husband and<br />

I, we wanted a baby as soon as we<br />

concluded the marriage rites; so, you can<br />

imagine how frustrating it was for me.<br />

Nothing else mattered at some point. I<br />

kept moving from one clinic to the<br />

other for a solution, test after test, and<br />

always ended up being told “you are<br />

fine”. Our worst nightmare is our<br />

hopes being raised and<br />

dashed at the end of every<br />

test. I prayed to have a<br />

result that will point out<br />

what the delay was<br />

about but it almost<br />

took forever before the<br />

break came. Facing<br />

infertility is<br />

challenging and<br />

getting to the root<br />

cause is a quandary. It<br />

happened after the<br />

longest five years of our<br />

lives and we couldn’t be<br />

more grateful.<br />

What’s the hardest<br />

part of hoping to<br />

miss a menstrual<br />

flow each month?<br />

Oh, the dreaded two<br />

weeks wait. The simplest<br />

way to explain it is<br />

embedded in the word<br />

anxiety. Having to swallow<br />

the hard pill every month is<br />

troubling and most times, if<br />

care is not taking, one may<br />

begin to lose sanity and start<br />

dwelling in<br />

misery or self pity. From the<br />

beginning of every cycle,<br />

there is always a feeling that<br />

it will be the last time. From<br />

planning the best ovulating<br />

time, to trying to avoid<br />

stress in order to achieve the<br />

aim—which is pregnancy.<br />

So, when it fails, it’s simply<br />

devastating.<br />

How did it feel like to<br />

finally overcome the<br />

struggle?<br />

It felt like I already had<br />

the child when I got a<br />

positive pregnant test result.<br />

I was overwhelmed with joy.<br />

My praises to God was<br />

heard. In fact, I was so<br />

excited that I began to call<br />

everyone I know,<br />

announcing that I got a<br />

positive pregnant test. I<br />

suddenly felt like a<br />

complete woman in five years. In a<br />

nutshell, it’s still one of the best news of<br />

my life. I was amazed that everything had<br />

suddenly fallen into place.<br />

Looking back, do you think the<br />

anxiety was worth it?<br />

Finally<br />

Pregnant! is<br />

a riveting<br />

story of four<br />

women who<br />

found<br />

themselves<br />

drowning in<br />

misery<br />

To do justice to this question, I must not<br />

fail to mention that it is almost<br />

unavoidable. Wanting something and<br />

seeing others do it with ease while you<br />

struggle, is not easy; but at the same time,<br />

it’s best avoided if one can. Not everyone<br />

can the handle pressure that comes with<br />

the wait. Wanting something so badly and<br />

finding it hard to cope with the<br />

environment, gets the victim anxious. To<br />

avoid or minimise it, one may need to<br />

intentionally do things that take their<br />

mind off the worries from time to time.<br />

Intead of worrying each month,<br />

don’t you think couples should<br />

consider adoption after waiting a<br />

few years?<br />

Well, adoption is a good idea only if the<br />

couple involved are willing to go that<br />

route. It is not in any body’s place to<br />

suggest. However, it is a good thing to do.<br />

Our background and understanding are<br />

different; suggesting adoption to anyone<br />

may come off as you stating that they are<br />

not capable. It doesn’t mean that you are<br />

not a caring person but it is more like<br />

being insensitive. Everything about a<br />

couple going through infertility must be<br />

handled with care to avoid trigger.<br />

But what’s your view on the child<br />

adoption process in Nigeria; how<br />

should it be improved?<br />

The process involved in adopting a<br />

child in Nigeria is still cumbersome and<br />

it will be a welcome development if the<br />

time involved are shortened.<br />

From your experience, are there<br />

attitudes or habits that further<br />

delay conception?<br />

Yes. Many people are still struggling<br />

with infertility because of impatience.<br />

They tend to move from hospital to<br />

hospital without finding the major cause<br />

and finishing up a treatment or<br />

procedure. No one gets out of a trouble<br />

completely without understanding why<br />

and where it emanated from. So, treating<br />

infertility requires a valid test result<br />

before anything. They are mostly eager<br />

to get a result, forgetting that what Mrs A<br />

did to get a result might not work for Mrs<br />

B because of the peculiarities involved.<br />

So by the time they are trying that out, it’s<br />

usually a case of back to square one.<br />

A word of advice for women on the<br />

waiting list...?<br />

I understand that it is a difficult<br />

challenge but you can always help by<br />

being intentional about all you do. For<br />

instance, what were the things you<br />

planned doing before infertility? If you<br />

planned to become a business owner, have<br />

you allowed infertility to deny you that<br />

too?<br />

Have you been able to find out why the<br />

delay. If yes, are you consistent with a<br />

good fertility doctor? You need a fertility<br />

specialist to guide you through with all<br />

that you need to do.<br />

Who do you have in your circle and how<br />

helpful are they? Do you keep quality<br />

friends? How helpful can they be?<br />

All the above will help direct or redirect<br />

one trying to conceive.<br />

What will be your advice to<br />

members of the public concerning<br />

their perception of infertility?<br />

No one chose to be<br />

infertile. So, when you come<br />

across any couple facing<br />

infertility, be nice. Avoid the<br />

curiosity to ask questions; if<br />

you were not told, don’t get<br />

involved. It takes a lot to put<br />

up a good smile while going<br />

through infertility; don’t<br />

ruin it. That weight she<br />

added is not about<br />

pregnancy, so, don’t ask. If<br />

it’s pregnancy, time will tell.<br />

If you feel the need to pray<br />

for them, you can go ahead<br />

without getting them<br />

involved.<br />

Briefly on your book,<br />

Finally Pregnant!...<br />

Finally Pregnant! is a<br />

riveting story of four women<br />

who found themselves<br />

drowning in misery but<br />

found a way to be a support<br />

system to each other. It’s a<br />

book to remind us of a few other stories<br />

like ours or may be worse. It is to help<br />

you understand what and who is<br />

important in the journey, giving you tips<br />

on various ways to handle the challenge<br />

and most importantly, to remind you that<br />

you are not alone.

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