March 7, 2021
No Longer In
IN THIS ISSUE
4 Cover: Kemi And Dolapo
Shabi; #AFreeUnion Winners
6 Sexmatics: Handling Meddling
8 Instagram Moments
It’s been several decades since
women took their destiny in their hands
to march against the systemic
inequalities they face on a daily basis.
This struggle, which has taken different
forms since 1848 when Elizabeth Cady
Stanton organised the Seneca Falls
Convention where she was the first to
call for women’s right to vote, simply
seeks equal rights and opportunities
and greater personal freedom for
women allover the world.
In 1995, the United Nations threw
its weight behind women’s agitation for
gender equality by hosting the largest gathering of women in
The efforts by the UN at advancing gender equality has led to
the world body arming women with two landmark documents to
fight; the Beijing Declaration and Platform for Action, and the
Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination
against Women, CEDAW.
The results are pouring in.This year alone, the United States
of America produced her first Female and first black Vice-
President, Kamala Harris, while Nigeria’s Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-
Iweala took her place as the first female, first black Director
General of the World Trade Organization, WTO.
As the world celebrates International Women’s Day, IWD,
tomorrow, a new challenge is thrown at them with the theme:
“Women in leadership: Achieving an equal future in a COVID-19
world.” Like many mountains women have surmounted, that
brought by the COVID-19 pandemic would not be an exception
as examples of women in leadership who are doing well in spite
of the pandemic, already abound.
While Josephine Agbonkhese, reports that men’s leadership
is no longer in vogue. Pg 7, read up other exciting stories on our
new column Billboard. Pg 8.
As we raise our glass to celebrate
all women, we especially congratulate
J . E
our cover bride, Kemi Shabi, and her
hubby, Dolapo, winners of
Have a great week!
Fashion : Ways To Style Mint Green
Feature : Int’l Women’s Day: When
Patriarchal Leadership Is No Longer
“No man wanted me. Rapists
would tap me on the
shoulder and say ‘Seen any
girls?’.” - Joan Rivers
“They say men enjoy
shaving - it’s the one time
each day they get to look
in the mirror and say ‘Hey
there, you handsome devil’.”
- Helen Gurley Brown
“The freer that women
become, the freer will men
be. Because when you
enslave someone, you are
- Louise Nevelson
“Laziness may appear
attractive but work gives
- Anne Frank
07 MARCH 2021
BAMIYO ISELEMA EMINA
LAYOUT / DESIGN
HEAD OF PRODUCTION
Printed and published by Vanguard Media Ltd
Vanguard Avenue Kirikiri Canal; P.M.B 1007
Mint Green Trend
by - Temitope Ojo
A softer shade of turquoise and green, mint fashion is
everywhere, from accessories to clothing and makeup to
nail polish. Flattering on almost all skin tones and a great
match with peach, white, black, beige and navy, just to
name a few; what’s not to love?
Consider these options on how to wear mint green.
Looking to change
up your work
attire? Try a mint
green shirt or
blouse. Pair it with
a tailored black
pencil skirt, black
pumps and simple
jewelry for an
For a fresh,
you need to try
a pair of mint
simple and sweet,
mint green shorts
make for a great
look when paired
with a white top,
white sneakers or
sandals and gold
make a stunning
option for casual
outings, chic and
outfits and almost
between, mint green
pants are as versatile
as they are stylish.
Pair your tailored
mint pants with a
white blouse or an
and pumps for a
look that’s suitable
settings. Or, if you’re
more casual, try mint
jeans, a white singlet
MINT GREEN DRESS
A mint dress will have heads turn.
This colour is a stunning look for a
night date. You can also choose this
shade for a feminine and romantic
bridesmaid look. To really stand out,
finish off your ensemble with rose
March 7, 2021 / 3
Kemi And Dolapo
Shabi: #AFreeUnion Winners
Words By - Funso Coker
On the 5th of February, just nine days to Valentine’s Day, Union Bank announced plans to bankroll #AFreeUnion,
encompassing an all-expenses-paid dream wedding for one lucky couple, and a breathtaking proposal for another
couple. The entire concept was organised in partnership with Africa’s top wedding blog – BellaNaija Weddings.
The task was simple: the winning couple had to submit a strong entry expressing their love for each other and stating
why they deserved the all-expenses-paid wedding. In addition, they also had to be ready to tie the knot on Valentine’s Day!
Out of almost 190 entries received in total, Dolapo Shabi and Kemi Amusan emerged winners of the free wedding,
while Chibuzor Obiora got to propose to his sweetheart, Notey Akpotive, at the exclusive luxury beach house, Sencillo!
With four days to go, Dolapo and Kemi were informed that they had been selected to receive #AFreeUnion, and then
the race began to give them the wedding of their dream, working with top wedding planners and vendors.
In this exclusive chat, the lucky newlyweds talk about the power of dreaming and how they received the freedom to live
their dreams, thanks to Union Bank and BellaNaija Weddings.
/ March 7, 2021
with their parents
Make-Up: Bimpe Onakoya
Congratulations to you both on winning
#AFreeUnion, courtesy Union Bank and
BellaNaija Weddings! Would you please introduce
Kemi: Thank you very much. It all still feels like
a dream – but certainly a very nice one!! Up until the
14th of February, I was Miss Kemi Amusan; I’m now
Mrs. Kemi Shabi! I am a 28-year-old graduate of
Accounting from Yaba College of Technology. I now
work as a model and hairstylist.
Dolapo: I am Dolapo Shabi; Kemi’s husband. I
am a graduate of History and Strategic Studies from
the University of Lagos, but these days I earn a living
as a fashion designer and fashion entrepreneur.
We’d love to hear your love story. Tell us how you
met and was it love at first sight? How long have
you been dating?
Kemi: It all started on my birthday in August
2018. Dolapo sent me a DM on Instagram, wishing
me a happy birthday and asking me to connect with
him. I checked out his page, was impressed by what
I saw, and then I accepted his invitation to connect.
The next day, he sent me a message asking for my
phone number, and for the first time, I did not hesitate
to give out my number on Instagram. Oddly enough,
he didn’t call me until months later; in October to be
precise. But when he did, he made sure we met the
same day, and I’d say the journey began from there!
Dolapo: I loved what I saw when we met for the
first time. Her beauty struck me and I remember my
first thoughts were “Wow! She should be in Milan or
Paris modelling!” (another dream coming to life soon).
Kemi: On the very first day, we had a long
conversation about our careers and aspirations.
It wasn’t anything about love the first day; he just
seemed very mature and was very sweet, which
made us click immediately. We also realised we had a
lot of things in common. He, being a fashion designer
and a fashion entrepreneur, and me being a model
and a hairstylist made things interesting for us.
The same month was Lagos Fashion Week and
I invited him to the show as I was one of the models
that walked the runway. And that was where he asked
me to be his girlfriend. Of course, I had been waiting
for that question because I had been getting fond of
him since the first time we met.
Dolapo: Although she played hard to get for like a
month, we eventually became lovers and on the 1st
of January 2020, I proposed and asked her to spend
forever with me. It was a “YES” of course. A yes to
forever with the love of my life.
What was your idea of a dream wedding?
Kemi: We had always wanted an intimate but
classy wedding. We’ve never been keen on having a
large crowd. We just wanted to say our vows
and move to the reception for the party. That
pretty much summed up our idea of a dream
But I had big dreams about the venue
for the ceremony and the ambience I hoped
to have, though. I had fallen in love with
Monarch Events Centre since the first time
I saw it along the Lekki-Epe Expressway. I
had also seen lovely pictures of weddings
held at the Monarch – they all looked so
Also, as a vendor in the wedding
industry, I’ve been a big fan of TrendyBee
Event Planners for years. I’d secretly
wished she could plan my wedding,
even though I didn’t see how that could
happen. Then Bimpe Onakoya is my
dream makeup artist, she has worked
on me as a model several times and I’d
always wished she could make me up
for my big day.
I had all these tall dreams, but
they didn’t quite connect to the reality. They were just
dreams, which is why this has been an experience
of a lifetime! I got everything I had always wished for,
everything! All thanks to Union Bank and Bella Naija
Weddings for giving us our dream wedding for free!
Dolapo: I’ve always wanted her to have the
wedding of her dreams because I knew how much
our wedding would mean to her. I’m glad she got
everything she wanted with ease. I will be forever
grateful to Union Bank for making our dreams come
What motivated you to put in your entry for
#AFreeUnion and did you think you stood a
chance of winning?
Kemi: I saw the post on Union Bank’s Instagram
page and on BellaNaija Weddings page too. I just
knew anything that comes from these two brands
would be worth the while.
I told Dolapo about the opportunity to get
#AFreeUnion but his response was “No, that’s
ridiculous, how is it even possible to plan a wedding
in just four days?” I tried to convince him for three
whole days, but he didn’t budge, until a day before
the entries were to close. I told him that we stood a
chance to get a ‘yes’ only if we applied, and that if we
didn’t apply, it was a 100% ‘no’. That was when he
agreed to make the entry video with me.
All the while, I had been following updates on
#AFreeUnion on Instagram and was generally being
positive about it. In fact, while I was still trying to
convince him, Dolapo had asked what I wanted
for Valentine’s and I’d said “Oh! Do you mean our
wedding day?” He just shook his head at me. He just
didn’t see this happening!
There’s a common saying that ‘Luck happens
when preparation meets opportunity’; would you
say you were prepared for this opportunity? Did
you have wedding plans in the pipeline already?
Kemi: Yes, we were the lucky ones, but we were
ready for this because we were engaged already
and we’d had our family introduction ceremony in
December, so the next thing in line for us was a
wedding; even though we didn’t know how to go
about it at all, especially in these tough times.
Dolapo: Each time we tried discussing the
wedding topic, it just always seemed impossible.
We just didn’t know where to begin! But here we are
today, we got the wedding of our dreams without
paying a dime. Thanks to Union Bank and Bella Naija
Weddings, we got the freedom to live our dreams.
How did your family and friends react when
they heard you’d won this once-in-a lifetime
opportunity? And how did they react to hearing
your wedding was happening in 3 days?
Kemi: My parents did not believe me when I
called them over the phone to share the news with
them. My Dad kept saying, “Kemi, you mean your
wedding is in three days?!” And then he’d ask in
utter disbelief – “You mean we are not paying for
anything?!” They were so excited! It was a little easier
with Dolapo’s parents because we went to their house
to share the news with them in person. Their shouts of
joy and their prayers are still so fresh in our minds.
On a scale of 1 – 10, how did #AFreeUnion
experience align with the picture you had in mind
for your dream wedding? What was running
through your minds that day?
Kemi: I would rate this entire experience as an
11/10 if that is possible, because we got everything
we wanted and even more.
What did you take out from this entire
Dolapo: Your dreams are valid; don’t be scared
to dream because anything is truly possible if you
So, what’s next for you both as you build your
union? What other big plans are you dreaming
Kemi: We are looking forward to having a happy
and fulfilled marriage, living our lives to the fullest, and
achieving all we want in our careers and from life in
general. We will be working more on our brands; I am
taking my hair brand to the next stage and looking out
for collaborations that can take me to the next level.
Dolapo: I also have plans to expand my fashion
business, to set up a factory and showroom and
increase my ability to do more. I am also open to
collaborations that will support my dreams.
If there’s one lesson we have learnt from this
entire experience, it’s to never stop believing! Just two
weeks ago, I was convinced I wanted to marry Kemi
the love of my life, but I had no idea how. And today
look at us!
Congratulations once again!! We wish you every
happiness as you begin your life together.
March 7, 2021 / 5
...CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS WEEK
with Adesuwa 07052403531 | email@example.com
HANDLING MEDDLING IN-LAWS (2)
etting healthy boundaries are the
foundations of any healthy
relationship and the core of your
self-respect. Let your significant
other know what terms/
boundaries you have and also give them the
space they need to make their own in return. At
the end of which, you both will clearly define
and enforce reasonable boundaries with your
respective relatives, rather than holding
grudges against them. Be honest with them in
a respectful, yet firm manner. Do not allow any
kind of behavior or habit that you don’t want to
live with for the rest of your marriage life to
While you can’t stop your parents from
trying to do what they want, calmly refusing to
go along with them is a choice you must make.
Refuse to be manipulated; the more you try to
change their mind or behavior, the more power
you give them in your life. They may test you to
see if you will back down by throwing tantrums,
hanging the phone on you, threatening you, or
storming out of your house. It is really important you
maintain your stand even if they feel offended by
your healthy behaviour. It’s okay to grieve their
choice, manage your hurt and move on.
Sometimes, the above things are done and there
will still be animosity between your spouse and your
parents. Learn to let go of that idea of one big
happy family, there is no need to choose between
them in order to have a happy married life.
Although your spouse may never want to
have anything to do with your family, you
can still be in contact with them, and it is
okay to visit them alone.
You will just have to adjust your
expectations about when and how you see
them, while protecting your marriage at the
same time. Drop your end of the rope and
stop trying to make everyone get along.
Don’t force the friendship. The two parties
can always change their position over time.
Get to be on the same team with your
spouse and know that you cannot change
your family’s behavior; only your response
to it. So, make sure to always give clear
and united response that supports your
marriage. Be careful about what is okay to
share about your marriage with your
parents since you know them better than
any other person. Be smart not to betray
your spouse’s confidence or vulnerability.
Always tell them about the positive aspects
of your spouse and marriage. Let their
relationship be as easy as possible.
Although not all in-laws are bad or
created the same, learn to spot the toxic
ones. The signs are not very easy
to spot; though they always
manifest in damaging ways. It is
only when the signs are spotted on
time that you can effectively put a
stop to it. So, try not to make a bad
situation in your marriage and limit
the effect before it tears your world
At the end of the day, accept
your man with all his flaws and
qualities; take it that his family may
never change. Try making things
better by finding solutions and
improve yourself. If all else fails,
PINK: Is associated with love and kindness. It also boosts creativity.
GREY: Brings comfort and warmth. Completely versatile. Timeless and
classic in lighter shades.
YELLOW: It captures the joy of sunshine and it communicates
BRIGHT WHITE: Brings calming effects. Makes the room feel more
open and spacious.
Beautiful Colour Scheme
Ideas For Your Bedroom
I will be the first to admit that waking up early and leaving a cozy
bed isn’t always fun, but creating a bedroom that’s energizing and
mood-boosting can make it a whole lot easier. Since colours and
light affect our mood, there’s a strong case for a colourful bedroom.
Whether you introduce these pops of colour with paint, bedding, or
artwork, you’ll find something to emulate in the examples below:
GREEN: Shade of green is fitting for the environment; it has a calming
effect and relieves stress.
BLUE: A soothing soft blue feels like a breath of fresh air when you walk
into a room. It lowers blood pressure.
PURPLE: Rich sophistication for darker purples. Relaxation for lighter
/ March 7, 2021
BLACK, as an edge: Best used in small doses as an accent. Grounds
your colour scheme and gives depth.
The above colours should be soft and calmer shades.
AVOID IN YOUR
*Orange is a bright
colour of energy that
directly contradicts the
relaxing mood of your
*Pastel blue can
chilly on the walls,
especially in a room that
receives little natural
*Red in brighter
shades can be a bit too
Int’l Women’s Day:
When Patriarchal Leadership
Is No Longer In Vogue
By - Josephine Agbonkhese
Tomorrow, March 8,
2021, Nigeria will join
the rest of the world to
celebrate the annual
Day. A day set aside to celebrate
women and examine progress
made in specific spheres.
This year’s global theme,
“Women in Leadership:
Achieving an Equal Future in a
COVID-19 World,” celebrates the
tremendous efforts by women
and girls around the world in
shaping a more equal future,
and recovery from the COVID-19
Indeed, the exemplary
efforts of women at curtailing the
pandemic, as well as its effects
on livelihoods since its emergence, has been
nothing short of classic. Most spectacular is
the exemplary leadership style of women heads
of countries which, above everything, ridiculed
the perceived superiority or supremacy of male
Of all the countries reported and proven
to have done well in tackling the pandemic,
women-led countries came first even when the
US, Brazil, Russia, Mexico, UK, Spain, Italy
and others were still foundering. The unrivalled
truthfulness of Germany’s Angela Merkel, as well
as her transparent leadership style, for example,
prepared her people’s minds and, accordingly,
the effort resulted in the lowest of COVID-19
cases and death in the entire developed world,
for many months.
Heads of Government in Denmark (Mette
Frederiksen), Ethiopia (Sahle-Work Zewde),
Finland (Sanna Marin), Iceland (Katrín
Jakobsdóttir), New Zealand (Jacinda Ardern)
and Slovakia (Zuzana Čaputová) have also been
widely recognised for the rapidity, decisiveness
and effectiveness of their national response
to COVID-19, as well as the compassionate
communication of fact-based public health
Meanwhile, from the onset, the acclaimed
Giant of Africa was also confused as to how
best to tackle the pandemic. Recall Nigeria
did not institute border closure and mandatory
institutional quarantine and testing for international
returnees to the country, until much later— March
23, 2020, precisely. This is not to mention the
ignorance expressed by a state governor on the
existence of COVID-19, almost one year after
the virus entered Nigeria and in spite of the many
evidences and deaths recorded; thereby slowing
down decision-making as far as COVID-19 is
concerned in that state.
This, again, brings to bare the dire need for
more women leaders, in all facets of our national
Currently, women constitute a meagre 4.17
per cent of those elected into public office in
Nigeria. This is despite five national elections
that have been held in the country since 1999.
Yet, only a handful of women have ever held
public office and the figures have also continued
In 2003, just three percent of people elected
to public office in 2003 were women. By 2007,
that figure increased to about seven per cent, but
declined in 2015 to 5.6 percent.
This is a strange state of affairs, given that
Nigeria is Africa’s most populous country and
elsewhere on the continent, significant gains
have been made in this area. For example,
four of the world’s top 10 countries in terms of
women’s political representation in parliament,
can be found in sub-Saharan Africa: Rwanda,
Seychelles, Senegal and South Africa.
The consequences of this imbalance,
however, can be clearly seen in all areas of our
national life— from security breakdown to lack of
transparency, indecisiveness in leadership, lack
of commitment to citizen’s welfare and foundering
This imbalance is most pronounced when
men are left to debate and legislate on matters
concerning the development and
livelihoods of women and girls.
A classical example was
when in March 2016, a
female senator for Ekiti South,
Abiodun Olujimi, presented a
bill— the Gender and Equal
Opportunity Bill— seeking
gender equality and women
empowerment, as well as the
protection of women’s
land rights, an end to
in education and
employment, and an
end to gender-based
bill was thrown out
by a number of male
senators in 2016 and
again in 2018 on
religious and cultural
grounds. The same
Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala
bill was re-introduced in
2019 and though it scaled
second reading, only God
knows its fate.
The role of women in progressive decisionmaking
cannot be undermined. Even the world
recognises this and has embraced women-led
leadership. As we mark this year’s International
Women’s Day tomorrow, it is important to reflect
on how best to address the gender-imbalance in
leadership in Nigeria.
If the World Trade Organisation, WTO, could,
at a trying economic time such as this, entrust in
the hands of a woman its leadership, in person
of Nigeria’s Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, then we
too must discard, as a matter of urgency, our
patriarchal notion of leadership which has only
succeeded in robbing us of true progress since
March 7, 2021 / 7
FRSC Celebrates Women-in-Uniform
As the world celebrates excelling women around the
globe, in commemoration of 2021 UN International Women’s
Day, the Federal Road Safety Corps, Lagos State Command,
in partnership with #sisterART Global Visual Arts
Community, is set to host the maiden edition of WOMEN-IN-
Billed to hold tomorrow at the Adeyemi Bero Auditorium,
Alausa Secretariat, Lagos, wife of the Lagos State Governor,
Dr. Ibijoke Sanwo-Olu, will speak on this year’s theme
“Women in Leadership: Achieving an equal future in a
The event, according to Chairman of the Planning
Committee, Assistant Corps, Commander Emma Fekoya,
Unit Commander Ikeja Command, is put together
to acknowledge and appreciate the efforts of all the
women working with different Military and Paramilitary
organisations in Lagos.
Commending the women, she said,
“The gallant efforts of these women in keeping
their home-front together while serving in different
capacities in their various organizations especially in
this era of the pandemic cannot be overemphasized.”
Blessing Okagbare Makes
Guinness Book of Records
Nigeria’s track and field queen, Blessing
Okagbare, was recently inducted into the
Guinness Book of Records for the most
appearances in Diamond League meetings. For
the award-winning athlete who revealed this
on her Facebook page, this is a dream made a
reality through God’s grace and determination.
The certificate reads: “The most appearances
in Diamond League meetings by an athlete is
67 and was achieved by Blessing Okagbare
(Nigeria) between 3 July 2010 and 31 August
2018”. The certificate was branded ‘OFFICIALLY
Okagbare, who recently set two new personal
indoor records at the Doyle Sports Management
Meeting, won an Olympic silver medal at the
2008 Games as a 19-year-old in the Long Jump.
She has also won a World Championships
Silver, and is the current African record holder
in the 200m and in the 4x200m with the Nigerian
Stories by - Yemisi Suleiman
Tara Fela-Durotoye and
Temi Giwa-Tunbosun make
As part of its celebration of International
Women’s Month, Facebook announced the
launch of LeadHERs: Life Lessons From
African Women, a collection of beautifully
inspired stories and life advice from 19
women who are breaking boundaries
in fields such as; media, entertainment,
politics, education and business.
Among the women across Africa
whose stories are being told in
the book are two Nigerian women,
Tara Fela-Durotoye, CEO, House of
Tara International, and Temi Giwa-
Tunbosun, Founder/CEO, LifeBank,
a technology and logistics company
based in Lagos, set up to tackle the
problem of blood shortage in Nigeria.
The company now also operates in
Kenya and Ethiopia, has saved over
14,000 lives till date. These women,
among others, were selected for their
ground-breaking achievements in their
Available for free in digital and
physical formats, the book provides
inspirational real-life stories for future
generations and young leaders is
aimed at encouraging, inspiring and
guiding the reader, no matter the
background, age or ambition.
the norm with her
The resumption of Nigeria’s former
Minister of Finance and the Economy,
Dr Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, last Monday,
as the new Director-General of the
World Trade Organisation, WTO,
resonated across the globe.
More significantly however, was
her outfit at her first day at work; she
ditched the formal skirt suit for the
traditional Ankara skirt and blouse
and her famous head tie, breaking the
norm of the formal dress code.
The 66-year-old who is the first
woman, and the first African, to
occupy the position, is fiercely patriotic
with her dress sense and is famous
for flaunting her African identity in her
African-print tailored outfits, no matter
the occasion; a divergence which
signals her fashion autonomy, which
has been accepted as her identity