April 2021 Magazine

6 ways to support
children to step into
being their best self
ever before and because of this, the small
things in life can be underappreciated.
We also teach children to say, ‘thank you’,
but this is often just a word used without
much meaning or feeling behind it. The
practice of gratitude has been proven to
reduce anxiety and improve happiness,
so spending 5 minutes at the beginning of
the day to say what we are grateful for can
have a big impact.
Here are 6 things that I believe children need to learn in order to
step into being their best self…
As part of my business, Early Years Story
Box, I launched a campaign to help
settings use gratitude as a tool to improve
children’s emotional wellbeing. I’d love you
to join in!
1. To accept
imperfections and
failure
Failure is a part of success and imperfect
moments give us an opportunity to learn
and grow. People who have phenomenal
success will have failed multiple times
before they hit the jackpot. If we can help
children to get comfortable with failure
and imperfection, they will be more likely
to step out of their comfort zone, which
is where their brilliance lies. It is also
better to move forward in life, than to wait
for things to be perfect. Perfection is an
unrealistic goal. If we can teach children
to put in their best efforts and to see the
lessons in their imperfections, they will be
more likely to succeed.
TOP TIP:
How much of a perfectionist are you?
Look at your own behaviour and the
words that you say and make sure that
your own actions are reinforcing that
children don’t have to be perfect.
2. To talk about
feelings
It is common for people to believe they
shouldn’t feel a certain way because
there are other people going through far
worse than them. However, problems
are relative, and we all have different
limits and triggers. Imagine 3 buckets.
One is made of steel, one is made of
wood and one is made of paper. Now
imagine putting fire in them. The steel
bucket will be fine, albeit a bit charred.
The wooden bucket will survive for a
while but will eventually burn away and
the paper bucket will go up in a puff of
smoke immediately. That’s like people.
We all have different abilities to cope
with ‘fire’. Just because one person has
more ‘flames’ around them, doesn’t
mean that the smaller ‘flames’ around
you aren’t damaging. We are all made of
different things. In order to teach children
to manage their feelings, we need to
acknowledge them and remember that
problems through a child’s eyes will
seem small to us, but massive to them.
By acknowledging how they feel on a
consistent basis, they will learn through
your actions that their feelings are valid
and that it’s okay to talk about them.
TOP TIP:
In a way that’s accessible, talk about your
own feelings to children and normalise
this process.
3. To ask for help when
they need it
It can be hard, at times, to swallow our
pride and ask for help because it can
make us feel like we’re not good enough.
However, we all have different strengths
and are on a continual journey of learning
and development. The great minds of this
world often had a team of people around
them, which allowed them to play to their
strengths. It’s important to teach children
to try their best, but that it’s also okay to
ask for help if they need it. It’s better to
get help and to move forward, than to
stay stuck.
TOP TIP:
Ask children for help with different things
throughout the day and specifically
say things like ‘I need your help please
because….’
4. To take responsibility
In life, we are always going to make
mistakes because we are human and
imperfect by nature. Mistakes are not the
issue – it’s how we deal with them that
matters. If we take responsibility for our
shortcomings, it gives us an opportunity
to learn from them and move forward
in a different way. Self-awareness is
key and the ability to acknowledge and
own our mistakes is important in life.
Children learn from what they see, so
it’s imperative to model this as much as
possible. Quite often people feel that they
need to have everything together in front
of children, or that they need to not show
weakness in order to have authority. I
totally disagree. By acknowledging our
mistakes and apologising to children we
pave the way for them to do the same.
TOP TIP:
Use every opportunity to model to
children how to take responsibility for
your actions.
5. To try new things and
be brave
Stepping out of our comfort zone can be
tough. However, the feeling of achieving
something beyond what we thought
we could, is second to none and builds
self-esteem. We need to give children the
opportunity to try new things as much as
possible. In order for them to experience
the exhilaration of having a breakthrough,
they also need enough freedom to be
able to risk failing. Allowing children time
to work things out is also important. Yes,
we want them to ask for help when they
need it, but they also, at times, need
to be stretched beyond what they think
they are capable of in order to build their
confidence and resilience.
TOP TIP
Set up scenarios that will challenge
children (for example, a climbing frame or
obstacle course that is difficult). Make sure
that safety measures are in place so that
there is no real danger, but that there is
enough of a perceived ‘risk’ to put them
out of their comfort zone. If they say they
can’t do it or that they are scared, gently
remind them of their brilliance. Tell them
that you believe in them and give them
advice on how to move forward. If they do
need rescuing, make sure you don’t do
it too soon. The urge to quit is often at its
strongest just before a breakthrough.
6. To practise gratitude
In this fast-paced, digital world that we live
in, it can be easy to lose sight of what’s
important. Children have more ‘stuff’ than
Here are the steps
a. Stand in a circle with the children.
b. Model a few sentences saying what
you are grateful for and why (‘Thank
you for my eyes because I can see’
etc). By saying why we are grateful,
this generates a deeper feeling of
appreciation because it compounds
our understanding of why we are
thankful.
c. Say the first part of this sentence
again but stop after the word
‘because’ so that the children can
finish your sentences. Use things in
your sentences like my arms, my toys,
my friends, my family, my house, the
flowers, food etc.
d. Ask if anyone wants to say their own
sentence.
e. Finish your gratitude circle by all
shouting ‘Thank you, thank you, thank
you’.
I’d love for you to post about this on
social media and use the hashtag
#ThankYouOaky (Oaky Owl is one of my
storybook characters who teaches children
about gratitude). Don’t forget to tag Early
Years Story Box too so I can see how it is
going!
TOP TIP:
A few times throughout the day, take the
opportunity to explain why you are saying
‘thank you’ to children so that they can
start gaining a deeper understanding of
why we use these 2 magic words.
Stacey Kelly
Stacey Kelly is a former teacher, a parent
to 2 beautiful babies and the founder
of Early Years Story Box, which is a
subscription website providing children’s
storybooks and early years resources.
She is passionate about building
children’s imagination, creativity and
self-belief and about creating awareness
of the impact that the early years have
on a child’s future. Stacey loves her role
as a writer, illustrator and public speaker
and believes in the power of personal
development. She is also on a mission
to empower children to live a life full
of happiness and fulfilment, which is
why she launched the #ThankYouOaky
Gratitude Movement.
Sign up to Stacey’s Premium Membership
here and use the code PARENTA20 to get
20% off or contact Stacey for an online
demo.
Email: stacey@earlyyearsstorybox.com or
Telephone: 07765785595
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/
earlyyearsstorybox
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/
eystorybox
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/
earlyyearsstorybox
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/
stacey-kelly-a84534b2/
26 April 2021 | parenta.com
parenta.com | April 2021 27