2018 Issue 4 Jul/Aug - Focus Mid-South Magazine

transfocus
LUCA TUCKER IS AN ARTIST AND TRANSGENDER MAN
FINDING REFUGE
by Nick Lingerfelt | photo by Joan Allison
Luca Tucker, a Memphisbased
transgender graphic
design artist who goes by
“Barthaz” professionally, did
not think he was transgender
while growing up. Born in
Colorado and raised in Utah
before moving to Columbia,
Missouri, he had always been a
tomboy who had typical maleassociated
interests.
When he was in middle
school, he would dress more
like a boy by doing things
like styling his hair with gel
and wearing boys’ shorts
and button-ups, but he never
associated this with being
transgender.
He moved to Memphis in
2014 to go to Memphis College
of Art. The year he began at
MCA, he began sharing his
ideas about his identity with
his roommate. His roommate,
who had researched transness,
told him she thought he was
transgender.
“It’s one of those things
where people around you are
aware of more so than you are
about yourself,” Tucker said.
“When my friends and I came
to that conclusion, I felt a little
dumb.”
On Halloween in 2015,
he publicly came out as
transgender. He sought his
mother’s permission six
months later to begin hormone
therapy, and she appeared
to be supportive at first. But
she did not use his preferred
pronouns or call him by his
new name. He decided she
needed some time to accept
him in his new identity.
After the year went by, he
confronted her about it.
“I was like, ‘Hey, it makes
me upset that you don’t
acknowledge that I’m trans
at all,’” Tucker said. “She said,
‘Well, I never supported you.
I lied,” and that was really
devastating to me because I
had already started hormone
therapy.”
Tucker’s mother is half
Apache, and in their culture,
there is something called a
“twin spirit,” which means
someone was born as a
woman but identifies with
more masculine behaviors.
He said his mother thought
that was acceptable, but the
medical transition would not
be OK with her.
Tucker and his mother had
a long discussion about it, and
they came to the conclusion
that they were no longer going
to speak to one another.
“I haven’t talked to my
mom in a long time over
this because she wouldn’t
acknowledge my transness,”
Tucker said. “I miss her a lot,
and I wish it didn’t have to be
this way.”
Tucker has been on
testosterone for a year and
six months now. He said he
feels lucky to have moved
to Memphis where he is
surrounded by people who
support him.
“I have very supportive
friends who have really
become family members to
me, and I’m so thankful for
them,” Tucker said.
Tucker said he would advise
anyone in a similar situation to
demand respect.
“Even though it’s so hard,
stick to your guns and demand
respect,” Tucker said. “If you
don’t demand respect, you’re
going to be pushed around
a lot, and it’s going to break
you.”
Tucker did research trying to
find trans artists, but he could
not find very many, especially
ones making art about their
own transness.
“I took it upon myself to try
to make work about it and
about my own experience,
and even other trans people’s
experiences here in Memphis
because I want to be that
voice,” Tucker said. “I want to
be able to speak for myself
and also for others.”
Tucker’s current partner,
Jesse Lee, said being with him
while he medically transitions
has been both awesome and
difficult.
“If people were more open
about things, (and if) they
didn’t write them off, (they)
would be more happy.
“I feel like our relationship
has changed,” Lee said, “and
made me a better person.”
Page 16 / focusmidsouth.com / JUL+AUG 2018 / Splash