Main Street Magazine Spring 2021

Effng
Awesome
:
A Roadside Odyssey Through Middle America
Words and Photography by Devan Sack
Iwould just like to start by thanking the great people of Illinois—
specifically the town of Effingham. Without your help and kindness,
may have been stuck in your cold, gray state for much longer than I
would have liked.
This all began back in November when I thought to myself, “Fuck it,
quarantine has been boring, let’s spice things up with a new car and an
empty bank account.” Proceeded to spend the rest of my money on a
bed, stove, and whatever else is required to live in a van. And voila, one
month later John and I were en route to Colorado.
Day 1. Smooth sailing. Wow, 17 hours of driving. Look at us. A couple of
road warriors, taking on America. Nothing can stop us.
Day 2. Engine light on. Pull off in a small Illinois town. Lose engine
power. Limp van to mechanic. Leave the car with him. Buy a burrito.
Walk back to mechanic. Cry. No, seriously, I was basically crying.
$6,000 quote, blown transmission. I’m not a huge car guy, but I’m pretty
sure a blown transmission is about the worst news an owner can hear.
I am at an all-time low. Out of money in Effingham, Illinois, with MY
HOUSE unable to move.
I call this guy named “Rocky.” He’s a mechanic down the street. He tells
me the same thing mechanic number one did, but he says he can do
it for less. Rocky, you dog. He gives me a quote for half the price. But
here’s the deal: Rocky is good, but not that good. We need parts, and
it’s a Thursday at 4:30 p.m. Stores are closing and the parts won’t arrive
until Monday.
And there we were. Stuck in a small Midwest town. John, you are my
rock by the way. It takes some time, but I calm down and come to the
realization that this short stop has become a week-long stay in Illinois.
First things first: Find a job? Yeah… find a job. So that’s what we did.
Started at Subway, then Dollar General, the furniture store across the
tracks, and finally Silver Dollar Lanes.
And remember, we have no car. Also remember, it’s January in the
Midwest. A lot of rejection later, the kind lady at the bowling lanes tells
us to come back the following day when the owners are in. So we leave,
essentially on cloud nine, an “interview” lined up and some new friends.
We walk back to the van in Rocky’s lot and make some hot dogs and
pasta, shivering in a heatless aluminum box.
The nights were cold, the walks were long, the days were boring, and
morale was low.
But I began this story the way I did for a reason; the people of that
town were seriously amazing. Whether it was the carwash owner who
was bummed he didn’t have any work for us, or the hotel manager who
offered us some fresh eggs, the people of Effingham made our time
there so much better.