TOTT 24 June 2021

TALK OF THE TOWN 24 June 2021 Advertising & Newsdesk: (046) 624-4356 Find us on Facebook 11
Signs of bullying and
how to address it
During the month of June we
celebrated child protection
week, and as such I want to talk
about bullying.
The “red flag” is up. We
need to sit up and pay attention,
and not let the topic of bullying
fade into the background once
again.
Bullying degrades, it
demeans and it violates.
Current statistics show that
about 41% of children develop
social anxiety after being
bullied, 37% develop
depression, 26% have suicidal
thoughts, 25% engage in selfharm,
24% stop using social
media altogether, 20% start
skipping classes, 14% develop
an eating disorder, while 9%
begin to abuse alcohol and
drugs.
We all – the youth, parents,
educators, counsellors, law
enforcement and the
community – are key to dealing
with this problem.
Depression and suicide are a
particularly high risk in South
African teens as they navigate a
new world of online learning,
social isolation, loss, grief and
trauma, increased anxiety and
depression.
Now more than ever, parents
need to connect and engage
with their children - listen, ask
questions, understand, and get
to know what is happening in
their teens’ lives and what they
are feeling and thinking.
There is still fear and stigma
around suicide and parents and
teachers are afraid to talk about
it to teens.
To get back to bullying,
❝
Parents need to
connect and engage
with their children -
listen, ask questions,
understand, know
what is happening in
their teens’ lives
M E N TA L
H E A LT H
Ruleen de Witt
bullying is unwanted, aggressive
behaviour among school-aged
children that involves a real or
perceived power imbalance.
The behaviour is repeated,
or has the potential to be
repeated, over time.
Both youngsters who are
bullied, and who bully others,
may have serious, lasting
problems.
There are different types of
bullying – verbal, social and
physical bullying.
Bullying is not a problem
that children can solve on their
own and it is not part of normal
ch i l d h o o d .
Signs a child is being bullied:
1 Unexplained injuries
2 Lost or destroyed clothing,
books, electronics or jewellery
3 Frequent headaches, or
stomach aches, feeling sick or
faking illness
4 Changes in eating habits,
suddenly skipping meals or
binge eating
5 Difficulty sleeping or
frequent nightmares
6 Declining grades, loss of
interest in schoolwork or not
wanting to go to school
7 Feelings of helplessness or
decreased self-esteem
8 Self-destructive behaviours
such as running away or
harming themselves or talking
about suicide
9 Sudden loss of friends or
avoidance of social situations
Ways parents and teachers
can help change the bullying
b e h av i o u r :
1 Start early: Focus on
building self-esteem and
resilience as early as preschool.
Children need a basic
foundation of self-worth to stand
up to bullying.
2 Practice assertiveness at
home: Family interactions can
serve as a practice ground for
standing up to bullies.
The “I” statement is an
assertive statement which can
be used in difficult
circumstances such as bullying.
The “I” statement has three
parts: Behaviour, feeling and
consequence.
For example, “when you talk
behind my back [behaviour], I
feel mad [feeling] because it is
not true but some people
believe it [consequence]”.
3 Stick together: Using peer
support is a good way to cope
with bullying.
Some children need specific
guidance about the positive
power of their peer groups.The
bully needs as much help as the
person being bullied.
4 Identify coping strategies.
What helps the child feel better?
Some options include talking
about their feelings with peers or
adults, role-playing situations,
reading books about bullying or
peer conflicts, doing things that
make them feel good about
themselves and awareness talks.
5 Emphasize telling an
adult: If bullying is occurring,
reporting it to school personnel
is essential. It can be reported by
a victim or a bystander.
If the problem persists,
despite school intervention,
parents should consult a
qualified mental health
professional.
Let’s all work together to
make this a bully-free society.
Contact Ruleen de Wit if you
would like to join the support
group meeting every month in
Kenton-on-Sea. You can also
contact her should you need
some help dealing with loss or
grief on 084-280-9126.
Sadag also have a support
group meeting on a Sunday at
4pm. Contact Dr Glenda Hicks
on 046-624-8500.
❝ Bullying is not a
problem that children
can solve on their
own, and it is not
part of normal
childhood. Look out
for the signs
INSPIRATIONAL ARTWORK: Paulette Wheatley, left, and husband Colin are pleased to be
opening the new gallery on Van der Riet Street, Paulette’s Place, and hope to encourage other
artists in the area to visit them. The centre painting is one of Paulette’s powerful pieces, which
she titled, ‘In God anything is possible’ Picture: ROB KNOWLES
Call to artists/crafters
ROB KNOWLES
It’s an inspirational journey stepping inside
Pa u l e t t e ’s Place, the new gallery next to The
Courtyard on Van der Riet Street, and that is its
purpose.
Paulette Wheatley, an artist of many years,
attributes her talents to God and wishes to share
what she has been given with everyone.
She and husband Colin opened the gallery
recently, each at the tender age of 79, to inspire
other artists, crafters and residents of the area to
understanding that life goes on after the
traditional retirement age and, given their
commitment to the new business, their message
is loud and clear.
While Paulette is the artist, Colin can restore
furniture, frame pictures and more, presenting a
one-stop-shop for your creative ideas.
Together with its partners, Paulette’s Place is
able to restore old furniture items and bring
them back into use.
In the gallery are examples of mosaic work
using tiles and shells, paint and more to
revitalise tired and defunct furniture and other
items.
The couple are no strangers to Port Alfred
and have owned a home here for many years,
and their family is intricately bound in the area.
Having had no formal training as an artist,
Paulette sees her talents as God-given and feels
it her mission to bring similarly blessed artists
and craftspeople to come visit her gallery and
contribute and cooperate.
“That is what art is; taking something old
and creating something new,” she said.
“We have suffered through sewage leaks, no
water and no electricity, so we need inspiration
at this point.”
Paulette has been in the ministry for many
years and feels it her obligation to share what
she has been given.
If you have an artistic bent, pay the gallery a
visit and help build a new community.