The Goodland Journal: Volume Two

Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes
I wonder about the point of it
all, about the value in spending
so much time and effort shooting
photos. For the past two years, this
is what I have spent the majority
of my life doing. Shooting photos,
planning photo shoots, prepping
camera gear for said shoots, editing
photos, sending photos to brands and
publications, thinking about what the
next shoot should be and pitching
ideas to brands. When I’m not doing
any of these, I’m likely daydreaming
about one of them. But every once in a
while, I snap out of it, and ask myself,
what’s the point of all this anyways?
I can’t help but think about all the
other people working to do the same
thing, to shoot photos revolving
around the outdoors and outdoor
recreation. While everyone likes to
think their work is important, in a time
with so much content being created
on a daily basis it’s hard to even
pretend individual pieces of work are
important. I debate this internally day
after day, which is strange for someone
who is exactly where they one day
wanted to be.
I began shooting photos as a
hobby in high school but didn’t study
photography in college as I never
thought it could be anything more
than something I did for fun. I did,
however, longingly look at a wide
range of photographers who had
created careers out of shooting photos
and fantasized how cool it would be to
one day do the same.
As college came to an end I had no
idea what I was going to do and just
for the sake of it applied to intern for
acclaimed photographer Chris Burkard.
Still unsure how, I got the internship,
asked to stick around for a second
internship round, and eventually got
hired on full time as a photo assistant.
Today I continue to both work for
Chris and am pursuing a freelance
career of my own. When people ask
me what I do, I tell them I am an
outdoor photographer. Fifteen year
old me would be incredibly happy, but
twenty-four year old me can feel quite
conflicted about it.
For some context, my mom is a
Superior Court Judge. My dad works
for an affordable housing nonprofit,
and my older brother creates
renewable climate action plans for
towns and cities throughout the West
Coast. And I, the youngest, have to
chuckle to myself a little bit when I tell
people I’m an outdoor photographer.
When I look at the big picture in
this way, what I do seems incredibly
unimportant. Aren’t there better ways
to spend my time - both for myself and
for others? I wonder.
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