Delabole Slate August 2022

Rhodes Ramblings!
I am always afraid that I might say or do something that could be thought of as taking advantage of my kids or not wishing
to join in with the occasional party they invite me to. Paradoxically I get concerned when they don’t invite me to such
gatherings, even though for the most part I would prefer not to go anyway. Mad isn’t it? That’s age for you…
Let’s face it, I am at the age now when I don’t find noisy social gatherings with music and booze and the family members
I actually care for together with lots of people I don’t know, all that much fun. Well maybe the booze and the food might
appeal but that’s about it.
I have a few mates in this amazing little backwater of North Cornwall, and we are all of an age, and our general view is
that we would prefer to read a good book, watch a decent movie and munch unhealthy snacks and other rubbish as and
when we feel the urge, We like to sample a large slug of cheap scotch or it maybe glass of vin rouge and then doze
off and practise being dead. For us it’s much more desirable to slob about the house in old and worn and loose but sooo
comfy, loved clothes than to dress up and appear in public to have our senses assaulted by music we don’t like, which
comprises almost anything that was released after 1959 for example. We are not fond of eating food that promises to
commit GBH on our guts, what is Peri peri anyway? Last Perry I remember was/is Perry Como, ahhh Catch a Falling
Star, they don’t write stuff like that anymore! I digress, so back to the revelry, …as we become miserable and tetchy as
the evening chips away at our tolerance, patience and ability to remain conscious.
So all I am saying is this, whenever you have the urge to ask this miserable old geezer you have the misfortune to be
related to, to join in with your celebrations and I decline, it’s not because I don’t love you all dearly. It’s not because I
hate your company or that of your amazing children or any other reasons you might think of. It’s because I have finally
reached an age where everything I have seems to ache most of the time, and nothing else actually works properly
anymore.
Under such circumstances please understand that my prayers for your total and complete enjoyment on any such
gathering and indeed life in general are heartfelt and genuine. As is my honest intention to not offend or upset you, or
even cast a blight on your enjoyment in any way at all.
And if for the most fleeting of moments it crosses your mind to phone Dad and invite the old boy over, please don’t think
of this example of a doddering old man’s ramblings and avoid doing so. It’s just possible, in fact even likely, that I might
just be in a mood to inflict myself on you this once…
David Rhodes