SNN_August 2022 Issue_web low res

SPINAL NETWORK NEWS 3
Leaving a Legacy
Peter Thornton
Editorial
GONE TOO SOON: My mother-in-law Trish Sutherland will leave a big hole in our family.
I am sitting in the front row of my
mother-in-law’s funeral and I can feel the
tears welling up in my eyes. It has been a
rough six months for our family which has
culminated in this moment.
In November last year my wife’s mum jumped out of bed
only to fall crashing down on to the floor. Inexplicably,
and without warning, Trish lost the use of her legs
overnight. She was later diagnosed with a rare and
aggressive form of brain tumour which caused her
paralysis. She was given 10 – 12 months to live but in the
middle of May at the age of 64 she died peacefully at her
home in Auckland.
It was a devastating and surreal moment for our family.
One we are still coming to terms with and trying to
understand. It was such a contrast to a year ago.
Last August Trish took two weeks of annual leave to come
down to Wellington to help when my son, Toby was born.
She looked after our girls—walking Charlie (6) to school
every day and also dropping off Georgie (4) to
kindergarten and sitting and doing puzzles with her. She
was an incredible help and there was nowhere else she’d
rather be. It was a really special time for our family.
Not even 12 months on, we watched her health deteriorate
rapidly and now she has gone. She will leave a huge hole
in our family. One of my most treasured memories of
Trish came a few years ago when she ran her first
Auckland Half Marathon. It was a huge challenge for her
and one she took on head on. Seeing her running down
the finish line at Victoria Park with so much pride on her
face, that was a great moment.
There are three things that have been on my mind since
Trish’s funeral: (1) Perspective, (2) Community and (3)
Moving forward.
(1) Perspective:
—Peter Thornton
Sustaining an SCI has many
parallels to losing a loved
one. There is a time of grief,
loss and adjustment.
Attending a funeral of a loved one has given me real
perspective. The rapid rate of Trish’s decline was sobering
for me and was another reminder that we really have to
make the most of every day. Our time is so precious and
life is short.
Listening to the eulogies about her life and the impact she
had on people was touching. She was generous, determined
and selfless. That was her legacy. It makes you think, when
my time is said and done, how will I be remembered? How
do I want to be remembered? These are good things to
think about every day as we apply ourselves to our work,
family and friendships. If there is a misalignment with
how we’d like to be remembered and our current
interactions with those around us, then we need to look at
that and make adjustments. What do you think are the
barriers to you being the person you want to be?