The Saint A. Today

The Saint A. Today
№ 01.20.23 January 20, 2023
A Note from Mrs. G.
Some Members of the Writers’ Club
(Thank you, Profe Millet!)
Dear Students, Faculty, and Friends,
I undertook the Writers’ Club not knowing
precisely what to expect. I was fearful that no
students would be interested. I was way off in
my judgment however, at times I had so
many students in the room that there was no
room to sit. Every single one of them was
enthusiastic and passionate about writing, and
I couldn’t believe how many new and exciting
ideas they had for this publication. What you
will find below is just a small sample of the
writing genius of these students. I hope you
will enjoy reading their work as much as I
enjoy working with these amazing individuals.
Mrs. Guengerich
Writers’ Club Faculty Sponsor
T-Rex Fight by Anonymous

Oh, Summer!
by Minha Tran
I want it to be summer!
I want to be sitting on a
bench making a lanyard,
My fingers weaving,
In the deep grueling sunlight,
Getting close to a distant friend.
I sometimes feel guilty for wanting it to be
summer.
The remorse makes me realize
That I do not want to leave.
Original artwork by Kavya Kamath
Oh, but I know that the
year will begin again.
My greed catches up to me,
As I grasp that…
This is my final summer.
Pigs Physically Can’t Look Up at the Sky
Do You Know Why?
by Ara Farzaneh
Did you know that pigs are physically unable to
look up at the sky?
No? Well, you just
learned something
new. Yes? Well, that’s
okay. This is still an
interesting animal
fact to read about!
Pigs can’t look up
because of the
anatomy of their neck muscles. Their spine makes
them unable to look up at the sky, or look up to
anything, in general. For them, it’s extremely difficult
to bend backward!
If you’re someone like me, you’d feel bad for
these cute pigs who can’t lift their neck - but DON’T
WORRY! The pigs are perfectly happy! All they have
to do to look up is roll onto their backs. So pigs
remain perfectly happy and oinkful!!
Limericks…
by Nora Nguyen
I once was applying to high school.
A lot of people are getting sick.
I thought it would be super cool,
I hope they get better quite quick.
But I started to sway,
It is such a shame,
As I wrote some essays,
But they’re not to blame.
And now I feel like a fool!
For their bad luck feeling lunatic!
********** **********
I asked, “How is a sausage made?”
We have to dance for P.E.!
Once I learned I was quite afraid.
I wanted to run up a tree!
Most choose to ignore,
I guess at first glance,
The immense horror.
I don’t like to dance,
So my taste for sausage has strayed.
But with friends, I do feel some glee!
A Wizardly Excursion
by Elna Poostpasand
Once upon a time, there lived a young woman named Maria Gryson. She was
feeble but young and quite obsessed with the fantasy stories of Harry Potter. Maria was often so
engaged in the books, she began acting them out on and on, and she gradually became carried away in her
mystical world. One day, Maria finally snapped back into some reality after a knock on the door.
“Hello Ms. Gryson, It seems that you haven’t checked your mailbox in quite some time, so I brought it up for
you.” Then, the mailman said in a fake casual voice, “I wonder who it’s from?”
He then departed with nothing but an obvious wink. Maria? had always hated the man, and one of the few
things she was aware of was the liking he had for her. Maria stared down at the envelope. It was pure white,
Continued on page 3

A Wizardly Excursion continued from page 2
neatly written, with the words, “To Maria Gryson, a very special young woman.” Maria’s stomach flipped.
Thinking she had made a sensible connection, she jumped with joy and said, “I’m gifted with magic!” Believing
that she had been accepted into becoming a witch, she decided to leave first thing tomorrow and set about to
Hogwarts.
The next day, she ventured on and about throughout the city, determined to find the enchanted school.
Suddenly, Maria stopped in her tracks. She realized that the name Maria Gryson would not fit her when being a
witch. Because of this, after much debating, Maria finally came upon the name Minerva Gryffiandora. Finally,
Minerva kept going on and about on her journey throughout the city and came upon a hotel.
“This must be Hogwarts.” she said to herself. As she walked in, Minerva stared at the busily packed walls, till
she found a grand man who was the manager.
“Good morning Professor. I have done as you requested and have come to this historic
school to be acknowledged as an official witch.”
The manager stood in surprise. “Excuse me?”
“I have come to get the proper authority to become a witch,” Minerva repeated clearly.
The manager, deciding this was a simple joke, said, “ Very well. You are now branded a witch. I bestow
upon you this wand!” He tore off a stick from the plant nearby and handed it to Minerva. With that, he
departed. Minerva, clearly thinking that this was a wand, waved it in the air and muttered an initiation. With joy,
she left the hotel and set about to find a partner for her to work with. Across the street, she came across her
neighbor, Catherine Holt.
“Good morning Catherine. Would you like to be my partner and take part in my journey to stop the dark
witches and wizards and do good? My reward to you shall be Merlin’s Beard First Class.”
Catherine had no idea what Minerva meant, but her ear was caught on the words first class.
“Sure I’ll come!” Catherine replied.
With that Minerva and Catherine set about looking for the trouble that comes.
Shortly after, they came across a woman seated by the fountain crying.
“How could it have happened, how! Wahhhhhh!!!!”
“Excuse me, madam,” Catherine said, “are you alright?”
“Of course, she isn’t!!” Minerva said excitedly, “Look over there!”
Minerva pointed at the fountain. “It is a pensieve!!!! This woman has felt a terrible
memory, please madam, may I have your tears to put inside?” The woman stopped crying and looked in
confusion.
“Excuse me?”
Without any hesitation, Minerva dumped her head into the water. All the sounds of people speaking were
softer. However, Minerva’s interpretation of this was different. “I must be in one of the woman's memories,” she
thought.
“Wellllllll... I realllly mustgh get going. My pop...pop child ggg gurgle irrs kid arrnd…is shhhrr! … Home, and
irrrt ishh neaurlay er nap terrme.”
Hearing the sentence incorrectly, Minerva only heard the words: child, is, kid, and nap. Minerva lifted her
head up so swiftly, she spilled water on Catherine.
“That woman!!! Her child has been kidnapped by the wicked, cruel Lord Demitrius!!”
“Who on earth is Lord Demitrius?” Catherine asked.
“The cruel man who claims he is delivering mail of course!!”
“Oh you mean Frank Demertus,” Catherine said, “what do you have against him?”
“I am a witch!!!!” cried Minerva, “I have the power to sense when there is dark in a person, and he strikes me
as evil!!!! You best follow my orders, Catherine, for I may use my powers against you!!!”
Catherine stood in surprise over the last few sentences Minerva said.
“UMM… there are no such things as witches,” she said. “That’s all fake nonsense.”
Minerva stood in shock, looking offended.
“You dare question the reality of magic?” she whispered, horrified.
“Yes. There is no such thing as magic. It is fake, childish nonsense. Are you sure you're feeling right?”
Minerva’s eyes bulged. She no longer was horrified. Minerva screamed in fury, “HOW DARE YOU! MAGIC
IS THE MOST SERIOUS THING, YOU COULD HAVE!! AND YOU JUST QUESTIONED IT???”
There was an odd silence between them, until finally, Minerva spoke in a calm, sorrowful manner, “Oh my
dear Catherine, I’m so dearly sorry. How could I have ever spoken in such a rude manner? It is obvious to me
Continued on page 5

Profe. Millet vs. Ms. Tsai
by Ara Farzaneh and Zara Fugman
Answer the following questions below! One answer to each
question is answered by Profe. Millet, and the other is answered
by Ms. Tsai, BUT…you don’t know who answered what! So,
respond to these questions honestly. Which response suits you
the best for each question? Answer A or Answer B? If you have, for example, 7 answers in
total for A, and 6 answers total for B, then A wins! Submit your answers to us using the QR code at the bottom,
and we will let you know the result as soon as we tally up all the answers! If for example, you have a tie
between the 2 answers, or you haven’t tried Taro ice cream, that’s okay. You can skip that question, and then
still tally up your A and B answers. Or if you’ve gone both bungee jumping and gone in a hot air balloon, you
may skip that question and go on.
Question #1: What is your favorite pet?
A: Cats
B: Dogs
Question #2: What is your favorite color?
A: Green B: Blue
Question #3: What is one of your hidden talents?
Something students wouldn’t necessarily know…
A: Painting
B: I love succulent plants and cacti. I can care for them
well.
Question #4: Which sport do you think you can play
the best?
A: Track & Field B: Swimming
Question #5: If you could have any superpower, what
would it be?
A: Teleportation
B: Elasti Woman
Question #6: What is your favorite genre of
book/movie?
A: Drama/thriller
B: Historical novels; based on true facts
Question #9: What is your favorite dessert?
A: Tiramisu
B: Something with strawberries and whipped cream
Question #10: Which other country would you like to
live in for a year?
A: Japan B: Spain
Question #11: What is your favorite flavor of ice
cream?
A: Taro B: Hazelnut
Question #12: When you were younger, what was
your dream job?
A: Book cover illustrator
B: Working with animals in some way
Question #13: What is one thing on your bucket list?
Something you hope to do…
A: Go in a hot air balloon
B: Bungee jumping
Did you get more A responses or B responses? Scan
the QR Code and answer the question. We’ll collect
the information and report back the results.
Question #7: If you were to have another job, what
would it be?
A: Program Director
B: Veterinarian
Question #8: What is your biggest fear?
A: Being in a building/place alone
B: Heights

A Wizardly Excursion continued from page 3
now. Demetrius has put you under a horrid spell to change your memory of the wizarding world. No
worries though, I shall break the spell as soon as we find him!” By this time, Catherine realized there was no
way to argue her point any further. Besides, this was quite entertaining.
“Alright then, let’s find the cruel Demitrius.” With that Minerva and Catherine set about to find him.
“Oh very well then,” Catherine said groggily. “Let’s get started.”
Minerva laughed, “Not so fast my young witch, we first must get ourselves prepared for our journey.”
“I already packed our things and you know magic,” Catherine said. “What else do we need as preparation?”
“Surely it has come across you that we can’t just look everywhere?” Minerva said. “We must narrow down
the places we go, so l have made a map?”
Minerva laid down the map of the city. Catherine groaned inside her head. Every realistic spot had been
changed into something magical. The bars and restaurants had been changed into pubs. The largest office
building had been changed to the Ministry of Magic. The stores had all been changed to things such as
broomstick shops, and owl stores. Even the island near the coast of San Francisco holding
the Alcatraz Prison was changed to Azkaban. Nothing made any sense. Minerva, watching
Catherine’s blank expression, assumed, “It is so superb, isn’t it?”
“Er, yes,” said Catherine meekly.
Minerva smiled. “I also collected some broomsticks for us to ride on. Without them,
we would be very slow, and since you can’t disapparate yet, we’ll just have to go with
these.”
Catherine sighed, knowing she could not wriggle out of this, and slowly grabbed the
broomstick. With that Minerva and her took off.
“Now then Catherine, I have narrowed our searches,” Minerva continued. “We will go first to Honey Duke’s
candy, as all that man gives out are poisonous candies for Christmas, and then we will go to the illegal store
selling dark items.
“Why not the post office?” Catherine asked.
“The owlery!” Minerva said, irritated. “And why does it even occur to you to go there?”
“Um, because I see the “Lord” there right now.”
Minerva spun around, obviously surprised. “Um, very good,” she stammered. “I was simply testing your
skills. Let us turn around.” After landing, Minerva barged inside with Catherine behind her, walking slowly, not
wanting to be a part of what would happen next. Inside the post office were two men, along with Frank
Demertus.
“Stop right there Lord Demitrius!!!!” Minerva screamed.
Not knowing she had changed her name, Frank said pleasantly, “Oh, hello Maria I suspect you are here to
bring the response to the letter I sent you?”
Then he stopped, “Wait, Lord Demitrius? Now, Maria, my last name is pronounced Demertus, and,” he said
in a suave voice, “I may be important doing my duty, but I am certainly not a lord!”
“You can stop with the act, we know who you really are!!” Minerva screamed.
Frank stared at Minerva, trying to make sense of things. “Are you rehearsing some play I don’t know about?”
Minerva, unable to take it anymore, screamed and charged toward him. Frank, not wanting to get smashed,
found the closest thing he could to a weapon which was a pencil, and pointed it toward Minerva. Minerva,
thinking that this was his wand, pulled out her own and shouted, “Stupefy!!!!!!!!”
Frank stared at Minerva, paralyzed with confusion, standing still as a statue. However, Minerva simply
thought this was because she had stunned him with her powers. Catherine, thinking this was a laugh gasped in
awe. “How did you do it?”
Minerva, seeming very pleased, replied, “As you know Catherine I am able to read the thoughts of any
person like l am doing now. That is why I can sense that you’re amazed. However, I used my power to my
advantage and found that the only spell Lord Demitrius was weak at was the stunning spell, so that is what l
did.”
Catherine clapped in faux amazement, “ Amazing! Just too incredible to be described in words!”
“Thank you, Catherine, but we really must go to the ministry to report defeating this man. Please, bring
him.” With that, they departed from the post office, leaving everyone in confusion.
Minerva and Catherine were strolling down the street when Minerva said, “As you may have seen
Catherine, the ministry is located in the center of town so that is where we shall go!”
Catherine, not wanting to embarrass herself said, “Um, I think I’ll stay here.”
Continued on page 6
A Wizardly Excursion continued from page 5

“My dear Catherine,” Minerva said, “you are required to come! Magic is one of the vital things of importance
from…”
“Actually,” Catherine said, amused, “I’ll come.”
“Excellent!” Minerva cried. “Let us go to the Ministry!”
After boarding their brooms, they were easily able to track down the ‘main office’ building. It was a
spacious, modern building. At the center of the first floor, there was a stunning waterfall. It came out of a wall
of rocks and gushed down into a pond with various fish. To the side, a receptionist sat at a desk.
“Excuse me, where is the minister’s office located?” Minerva asked.
He looked at her in slight confusion. “You mean the boss’s office?”
“Yes, yes, whatever you call him,” Minerva said coolly.
“12th floor then,” the man said promptly.
“Thank you,” Minerva said curtly, then dragged Catherine along to the elevator. When they reached the
office, Minerva burst in.
“Sir!” she exclaimed. “We have brought a prisoner!” She pointed to Frank.
“Who are you?” the man asked. He sat at his large desk with two other businessmen, all staring in
confusion at Minerva and Frank. Catherine, on the other hand, knew she could not do anything but persuade
Minerva in a magical way.
“Ummm, er-shouldn't we find the prophecy that answers our questions on how he is evil?” she said.
Minerva stared at her, annoyed. “Of course! Why didn’t I think of that! Come, Catherine!”
The men looked at Minerva and Catherine, annoyed. Just some idiotic lunatics, they thought.
“Now hold on–” The boss said. “You both are trespassing, so I’m calling security.”
Minerva’s eyes widened. “Lord Demitrius has deceived the minister into believing him! Well, we don’t have
time to disillusion him, let’s go.”
She sped down the stairs, Catherine on her heels.
They arrived back at the fountain again. Minerva pointed at the rocks.
“These orbs are all prophecies showing the answers to all of our questions!” she explained, then pointed at
a rather blue-colored rock. “When a prophecy is fulfilled, it turns blue. That one is most likely because we
defeated the evil Lord Demitrius!” She began climbing the array of rocks surrounding the water.
“Um, I don't think you should be-” Catherine said. But it was too late. The rocks fell down and onto
Minerva’s head. She fell to the ground, hitting the rocks at the bottom of the pond. Her eyes were shut. She
had blacked out.
**********
“Beep! Beep! Beep!”
A beeping woke Minerva, as she fluttered open her eyelashes, finding herself in a warm hospital bed, with
a lot of equipment beside her.
“She’s regaining consciousness,” an unfamiliar voice said.
Another voice, recognized as Catherine, sighed in relief. Minerva tried pushing herself up without any luck.
A woman, who probably was the nurse, scurried to Minerva’s side and gently placed Minerva's head back on
the pillow.
“Are you alright?”
“My head–” Minerva began.
“It suffered a severe concussion. It also appears that this injury and everything else over
the past day has occurred because you had some certain beliefs about magic?”
“What magic? Magic is fake.”
“Don’t you remember?” Catherine said.
“Oh Catherine, magic is all foolish nonsense!” Minerva said, laughing slightly.
“But-” Catherine began.
“Most likely, her odd beliefs were forgotten in the recent injuries that occurred,” the nurse said. “She might
even have forgotten some other important information. But the good thing is she forgot all that nonsense.”
Catherine however, for the first time, missed how Minerva was acting a couple of hours ago.
“I think it is best if Maria gets some peace.” the nurse said.
Catherine made no comment. She nodded her head slightly and walked out of the room. On the other
hand, Minerva, now known as Maria once again, closed her eyelids and drifted back to sleep.
The End

Ad by Jenna Mu Ad by Alexis Leo Ad by Mrs. G.
The Classroom Enigma…A Perplexing Puzzle
by Samuel Maragliano and Nora Nguyen
Your journeys as a spy have taken you far and wide and to many different places. One of these is an ancient
classroom. Inside, you find a message on a note, laid on a desk.
1) What is white when it's dirty? (5,5)
Picking up a suspicious-looking textbook, you read the first paragraph in the fantasy story:
The School of Magic, Book 6.
2) A long, long time ago, before the age when Man and Wwoman sailed in shhips too llands theey had
never seen, thhere eexisted in the Old World two empires: thaat of Man and that of Fairr People. Man named
his abode Civilization, for Man was an acquisittive creeature and names were things he couldd possess. (5, 7)
Suddenly, your cell phone rings, you read the caller id (unknown), and get this pre-recorded message.
3) 169-007-8024 (7) (If you’re stuck, definitely look for a hint below!)
1. Hello. This is Amazon Prime’s Account warning. 6 . Please find us and call us back and
2. We got information. 7. Confirm and check with our company.
3. That an eight-hundred dollar withdrawal. 8. Thank you very much.
4. Has been detected within your account. 9. This is not a scam.
5. If you didn’t authorize this charge, 10. This is not a scam.
With a start, you realize that you have once again arrived in Caesar Town. Interestingly enough, you remember a
former mentor giving you a note, telling you to decode it when the time and place are right.
4) Uif dblf jt b mjf! (3, 4, 2, 1, 4)
Continued on page 8

The red underlined letters should lead to a scrambled word.
If you have the answer (a word), email Samuel Maragliano at smaragliano23@students.st-andrews.org
Hints for Decoding Each Note (written backwards)
Note 1: _______ a dna draobetihw a…secafrus gnitirw tuoba knihT
Note 2: .niaga eton eht no kcab elbuod ,lamronba gnihtyna ees t’nac uoy fI
Note 3: .DROW DELBMARCS a ni stluser sihT. owt enil ni rettel htxis eht rof kool ,elpmaxe roF
.rebmun enohp eht sa enil derebmun emas eht ni rettel a ot sdnopserroc rebmun enohp eht fo tigid yrevE
Note 4: .eno yb rettel hcae detfihs sah rehpic raseaC ehT
Putting It All Together (written backwards)
?eton hcae ot rewsna eht ni era sdrow ynam woH
.drow hcae rof eno ,srewsna eht htiw selgnatcer eht ni lliF
.rewsna lanif ruoy teg ot srettel der eht ffo daeR
Classic Puzzlers
by Siri Gudladona
Original Artwork by Anonymous
1. Journey without it and you will never prevail, but
if you have too much you’ll surely fail.
2. What is always coming but never arrives?
3. I am an odd number. Take away a letter and I
become even. What am I?
4. What has a head and a
tail but no body?
5. What has one head,
one foot, and four legs?
Ad by Anonymous
Answers:
deb a, nioc a, neves, worromot, ecnedifnoc