Pilgrims in the Rough by Michael Tobert sampler
For centuries, people have been travelling to St. Andrews. Whether they were on a holy pilgrimage to see the magnificent Cathedral and the preserved bones of St. Andrew, or devout golfers putting their skills to the test on the Old Course - that holy grail of golf courses - or just students and scholars jostling for a place at one of Scotland’s most esteemed centres of learning, St. Andrews has always attracted pilgrims. Michael Tobert leads his readers through St. Andrews’ historic highs and lows with a potent combination of the anecdotal and the informative. His writing is both astute and downright funny, and he proves that sometimes, truth really is stranger than fiction.
For centuries, people have been travelling to St. Andrews. Whether they were on a holy pilgrimage to see the magnificent Cathedral and the preserved bones of St. Andrew, or devout golfers putting their skills to the test on the Old Course - that holy grail of golf courses - or just students and scholars jostling for a place at one of Scotland’s most esteemed centres of learning, St. Andrews has always attracted pilgrims.
Michael Tobert leads his readers through St. Andrews’ historic highs and lows with a potent combination of the anecdotal and the informative. His writing is both astute and downright funny, and he proves that sometimes, truth really is stranger than fiction.
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michael tobert grew up <strong>in</strong> Nott<strong>in</strong>ghamshire, an English county<br />
famous for Rob<strong>in</strong> Hood, D.H. Lawrence, coal m<strong>in</strong>es and just about<br />
noth<strong>in</strong>g else. He ra<strong>the</strong>r liked it. His happiest days were spent<br />
commun<strong>in</strong>g with nature, a predilection that led him to f<strong>in</strong>d<br />
employment on a pig farm. The onset of adolescent vegetarianism,<br />
however, prompted a change of tack and, after Oxford University,<br />
he tried his hand <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> City of London (where he hated every<br />
moment), at a water company <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> West Midlands and at <strong>the</strong><br />
London Bus<strong>in</strong>ess School. He <strong>the</strong>n headed north where his fragmented<br />
career culm<strong>in</strong>ated <strong>in</strong> an attempt to start his own publish<strong>in</strong>g<br />
company. This, to his wife’s astonishment, was not a total failure.<br />
He has lived <strong>in</strong> St Andrews for <strong>the</strong> last 20 years and spends his<br />
spare time on <strong>the</strong> golf course. By d<strong>in</strong>t of constant practice, he is<br />
sometimes able to break 80. He is a member of <strong>the</strong> R&A and has<br />
three children. This is his first book.
<strong>Pilgrims</strong> <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Rough</strong><br />
St Andrews beyond <strong>the</strong> 19th hole<br />
MICHAEL TOBERT<br />
Luath Press Limited<br />
EDINBURGH<br />
www.luath.co.uk
First published 2000<br />
Repr<strong>in</strong>ted 2001<br />
Repr<strong>in</strong>ted 2004<br />
New edition 2011<br />
Repr<strong>in</strong>ted 2022<br />
isbn: 978-1906817-96-1<br />
The paper used <strong>in</strong> this book is recyclable. It is made<br />
from low chlor<strong>in</strong>e pulps produced <strong>in</strong> a low energy, low emission<br />
manner from renewable forests.<br />
Pr<strong>in</strong>ted and bound <strong>by</strong><br />
Robertsons Pr<strong>in</strong>ters, Forfar<br />
Typeset <strong>in</strong> 10.5 po<strong>in</strong>t Sabon <strong>by</strong><br />
3btype.com<br />
Maps <strong>by</strong> Jim Lewis<br />
The author’s moral right has been asserted.<br />
A Catalogu<strong>in</strong>g-<strong>in</strong>-Publication Data record for this book is available<br />
from <strong>the</strong> British Library.<br />
© <strong>Michael</strong> <strong>Tobert</strong>
To Tessa, who, because of this book, has spent too<br />
many days ly<strong>in</strong>g dejectedly on <strong>the</strong> carpet when she<br />
should have been out play<strong>in</strong>g golf – but has seen<br />
fit to forgive me
Contents<br />
Town Plan 9<br />
The Old Course Plan 10<br />
Acknowledgements 13<br />
Preface 15<br />
<strong>in</strong>troduction<br />
An Extremely Brief History 17<br />
travels around <strong>the</strong> town<br />
1 The Mound beh<strong>in</strong>d <strong>the</strong> R&A 27<br />
2 The Ca<strong>the</strong>dral 33<br />
3 The Harbour 45<br />
4 The Castle 51<br />
travels on <strong>the</strong> old course<br />
5 The Open<strong>in</strong>g Holes 61<br />
6 The Loop 73<br />
7 The Clos<strong>in</strong>g Holes 85<br />
fur<strong>the</strong>r travels around <strong>the</strong> town<br />
8 The University: early days 95<br />
9 The University: fall and rise 105<br />
10 The Burgh 113<br />
11 The L<strong>in</strong>ks road 127<br />
<strong>the</strong> necessities of life<br />
12 Eat<strong>in</strong>g 135<br />
13 Sleep<strong>in</strong>g 143<br />
14 Book<strong>in</strong>g a Tee Time 147<br />
7
pilgrims <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> rough<br />
sundries<br />
15 The Wea<strong>the</strong>r 153<br />
16 Dates for <strong>the</strong> Diary 155<br />
17 Visitors 161<br />
postscript<br />
18 St Andrews <strong>in</strong> 2020 167<br />
Useful Addresses 171<br />
Tables<br />
Chronology 173<br />
The Bishops and Archbishops of St Andrews 178<br />
W<strong>in</strong>ners of <strong>the</strong> Open Championship at St Andrews 180<br />
References 181<br />
Index 185<br />
8
THE LINKS<br />
1 Ca<strong>the</strong>dral<br />
2 St. Rule's Tower<br />
3 Harbour<br />
4 Castle<br />
5 St. Leonards<br />
6 St. Mary's College<br />
7 St. Salvator's College<br />
8 Byre Theatre<br />
9 Preservation Trust Museum<br />
10 Tourist Information<br />
11 Holy Tr<strong>in</strong>ity Church<br />
12 Madras College<br />
13 Blackfriars Chapel<br />
14 Martyrs Monument<br />
15 Bow Butts<br />
16 Royal and Ancient Golf Club<br />
17 St Andrews L<strong>in</strong>ks Clubhouse<br />
18 West Port<br />
19 Golf Practice Centre<br />
20 Old Course Hotel<br />
21 British Golf Museum<br />
St Andrews Bay<br />
17<br />
19<br />
St Andrews<br />
L<strong>in</strong>ks Clubhouse<br />
T H<br />
North<br />
E<br />
P<br />
Golf Practice<br />
Centre<br />
W SANDS R D<br />
P<br />
O L D<br />
BRU<br />
CE EMBANKMENT<br />
21<br />
C O U<br />
20<br />
Old Course<br />
Hotel<br />
E<br />
R S<br />
14<br />
15<br />
16<br />
Royal &<br />
Ancient<br />
Golf Club<br />
T H E S C O R E S<br />
GOLF PL<br />
Castle<br />
MURRAY<br />
PARK<br />
G U A R D B R I D G E<br />
WINDMI<br />
R O A D<br />
EAST<br />
N O R T H S T R E E T<br />
LL RD<br />
S CORES<br />
NORTH SOU<br />
CASTLE ST CAST<br />
TH<br />
LE ST<br />
GREYFRIARS<br />
GARDENS<br />
HOPE ST<br />
C I T Y R<br />
MARKET STREET<br />
ST MARYS PL<br />
Ca<strong>the</strong>rdral<br />
1<br />
2<br />
S O U T H S<br />
CHURCH<br />
STREET<br />
BELL ST<br />
T H E<br />
4 5<br />
9<br />
BUTTS<br />
WYND<br />
P<br />
7<br />
North<br />
Haugh<br />
P<br />
P<br />
10<br />
11<br />
T R E E T<br />
T H E P E N D S<br />
O A D B R I D G E<br />
DOUBLEDYKES RD<br />
P<br />
3<br />
18<br />
QUEENS GDNS<br />
KENNEDY GDNS<br />
S H O R E<br />
ABBEY<br />
6<br />
P<br />
8<br />
13 12<br />
P<br />
S T R E E T<br />
GREENSIDE PL<br />
QUEENS TER<br />
K<br />
S T R E E T<br />
H E PBURN G A R D E N S<br />
ST LEONARDS RD<br />
i n<br />
R O A D<br />
S S B U R N<br />
GLEBE<br />
K I N N E<br />
RD<br />
LANGLANDS RD<br />
n e<br />
To East<br />
Neuk<br />
of Fife<br />
BOASE AVE<br />
s s<br />
B u r n<br />
NELSON ST<br />
A<br />
P<br />
T<br />
BUCHANAN GARDENS<br />
To Ed<strong>in</strong>burgh<br />
& Dundee<br />
A 9 1<br />
9
cont<strong>in</strong>ued on map 2 MAP 1 The Old Course St Andrews<br />
(holes 1-4 and 15-18)<br />
;;;;;;;;;;<br />
;;;;;;;;;;<br />
;;;;;;;;;;<br />
N<br />
J u b i l e e C o u r s e<br />
15<br />
St Andrews Bay<br />
419 yds<br />
N e w C o u r s e<br />
401 yds<br />
;;;;;;;;;;<br />
;;;;;;;;;;<br />
;;;;;;;;;;<br />
;;;;;;;;;;<br />
WEST SANDS ROAD<br />
4<br />
16<br />
Strathtyrum<br />
Course<br />
352 yds<br />
10<br />
Royal & Ancient<br />
Clubhouse<br />
E M B ANKMENT<br />
351 yds<br />
1<br />
BRUCE<br />
St Andrews L<strong>in</strong>ks<br />
Clubhouse<br />
3<br />
Balgove Course<br />
Location Map<br />
370 yds<br />
411 yds<br />
17<br />
NORTH<br />
354 yds<br />
2<br />
MAP 2<br />
Swilken<br />
Bridge<br />
461 yds<br />
St Andrews town<br />
18<br />
The Old Course Hotel<br />
;;<br />
<strong>Rough</strong><br />
MAP 1
;;;;;;;;<br />
;<br />
;;;;;;;;<br />
;;;;;;;;<br />
;;;;;;;;<br />
;;;;;;;;<br />
166 yds<br />
307 yds<br />
318 yds<br />
172 yds<br />
359 yds<br />
316 yds<br />
374 yds<br />
398yds<br />
MAP 2 The Old Course St Andrews<br />
(holes 5 - 14)<br />
N e w<br />
;<br />
<strong>Rough</strong><br />
;<br />
9<br />
C o u<br />
8<br />
N<br />
r s e<br />
11<br />
J u b i l e e C o u r s e<br />
12<br />
10<br />
7<br />
E d e n E s t u a r y<br />
6<br />
N e w C o u r s e<br />
13<br />
14<br />
514yds<br />
523yds<br />
cont<strong>in</strong>ued from map 1<br />
E d<br />
C o u r s e<br />
e n<br />
5<br />
;;;;;;;;<br />
y r u m<br />
s e<br />
C o u r<br />
S t r a t h t<br />
11
Acknowledgements<br />
to my family, of course, for putt<strong>in</strong>g up with me. To David and<br />
Deborah Douglas, whose comments, as <strong>the</strong> book was <strong>in</strong> progress,<br />
were amus<strong>in</strong>g, encourag<strong>in</strong>g, honest and apposite. To Jurek Pütter<br />
for putt<strong>in</strong>g me straight on a number of po<strong>in</strong>ts and shar<strong>in</strong>g with me<br />
some wonderful tit-bits about medieval St Andrews. To Dr Peter<br />
Lewis of <strong>the</strong> British Golf Museum, and Dr Barbara Crawford of<br />
<strong>the</strong> Department of Medieval History, St Andrews University, for<br />
cast<strong>in</strong>g an expert eye over <strong>the</strong> text. (All errors are, needless to say,<br />
<strong>the</strong> responsibility of <strong>the</strong> author.) To Duncan McAra, without<br />
whose drive this book would still be moulder<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> my bottom<br />
drawer. And especially to Madele<strong>in</strong>e, my <strong>in</strong>-house editor-<strong>in</strong>-chief,<br />
who was always ready to abandon her homework when <strong>the</strong> need<br />
arose.<br />
I am particularly <strong>in</strong>debted to Jurek Pütter for his orig<strong>in</strong>al illustrations<br />
on pages 26, 32, 60, 84 94, 112, 126, 134, 142, 152, 154 and 166,<br />
and for permission to extract details from his previously published<br />
works on pages 35, 54, 97, 115 as well as on <strong>the</strong> front cover.<br />
Grateful thanks also to Simon Weller for his orig<strong>in</strong>al draw<strong>in</strong>gs on<br />
pages 68, 82 and 88. ‘The Man who Missed <strong>the</strong> Ball on <strong>the</strong> First<br />
Tee at St Andrews’ <strong>by</strong> H.M. Bateman is reproduced on page 62 <strong>by</strong><br />
k<strong>in</strong>d permission of <strong>the</strong> Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St<br />
Andrews.<br />
13
Preface<br />
In this new edition of <strong>Pilgrims</strong> <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Rough</strong>, <strong>the</strong> Publisher has<br />
decided to delete from <strong>the</strong> title <strong>the</strong> words St Andrews beyond <strong>the</strong><br />
19th Hole and to replace <strong>the</strong>m with an unreliable history. He<br />
believes unreliable gives <strong>the</strong> attentive browser <strong>the</strong> nod that with<strong>in</strong><br />
<strong>the</strong> book’s pages he might f<strong>in</strong>d someth<strong>in</strong>g unexpected, perhaps even<br />
funny. Who knows what, <strong>in</strong> this context, <strong>the</strong> word ‘unreliable’<br />
actually means. Certa<strong>in</strong>ly not unreliable.<br />
Well, more or less anyth<strong>in</strong>g is an improvement on beyond <strong>the</strong><br />
19th hole. This came from <strong>the</strong> Publisher who at <strong>the</strong> time was<br />
look<strong>in</strong>g down unhappily on <strong>the</strong> cobbled walkway beneath his<br />
Ed<strong>in</strong>burgh lodg<strong>in</strong>gs. ‘We must sell it,’ he said sniff<strong>in</strong>g ru<strong>in</strong> round<br />
<strong>the</strong> next corner, ‘as a sort of guide book and hang it on <strong>the</strong> bootstraps<br />
of all those golfers who come to St Andrews. It’s our best<br />
hope.’ Or did he say ‘only’ hope, I can’t remember.<br />
I said: ‘But <strong>Pilgrims</strong> <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Rough</strong> is not a guide book and it’s<br />
not predom<strong>in</strong>antly about <strong>the</strong> town’s l<strong>in</strong>ks, famous though <strong>the</strong>y are.<br />
It is a succession of stories that toge<strong>the</strong>r make up <strong>the</strong> topsy-turvy<br />
history of this ancient town. This <strong>in</strong>cludes – how could it not – <strong>the</strong><br />
golf. But it’s no guide book.’<br />
‘Maybe,’ he replied airily with a wave for a passer-<strong>by</strong> perhaps<br />
known to him or perhaps not. At which po<strong>in</strong>t, I believe our meet<strong>in</strong>g<br />
concluded.<br />
Now ten years later, it is to be an unreliable history. Good. This<br />
is progress. History is a word I like. It fits <strong>the</strong> bill. As for Unreliable:<br />
no. It is 100 per cent reliable. You can put your house, wife and<br />
all you hold dear on <strong>the</strong> accuracy of <strong>the</strong> history <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong>se pages. My<br />
research, as I recall, was pa<strong>in</strong>stak<strong>in</strong>g. Still, I have agreed to <strong>the</strong><br />
<strong>in</strong>clusion of <strong>the</strong> word, unreliable. I have accepted it <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> spirit <strong>in</strong><br />
which it was sold to me.<br />
The Publisher declared as follows: ‘It is an unreliable history,<br />
<strong>Michael</strong>, because I want <strong>the</strong> attentive browser to understand that<br />
<strong>Pilgrims</strong> will take him to places of <strong>the</strong> imag<strong>in</strong>ation that <strong>the</strong> reliable<br />
history cannot reach, to believe that he will laugh, that he will<br />
15
pilgrims <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> rough<br />
soon be writ<strong>in</strong>g to me of tra<strong>in</strong> journeys that have passed <strong>by</strong> <strong>in</strong> a<br />
flash of hilarity, that he will soon be compla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g of tears flow<strong>in</strong>g<br />
unrestra<strong>in</strong>ed <strong>in</strong> public places. No, <strong>Michael</strong>, unreliable is just <strong>the</strong><br />
word we need.’<br />
‘Fair enough,’ I said. ‘Put like that...’<br />
We had one fur<strong>the</strong>r matter to clear up. Because of <strong>the</strong> orientation<br />
of <strong>the</strong> first edition, it came to <strong>in</strong>clude a lone section that might be<br />
accused of belong<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> category, guidebook. This is called<br />
‘The Necessities of Life’ and covers eat<strong>in</strong>g, sleep<strong>in</strong>g and book<strong>in</strong>g a<br />
tee time.<br />
‘Just br<strong>in</strong>g this up to date,’ said <strong>the</strong> publisher.<br />
‘Erm, but,’ said I, ‘<strong>Pilgrims</strong> is not a guidebook, is it? It’s an<br />
unreliable history. We are agreed on that.’<br />
‘Yes, that’s as may be, but we can’t have a chapter describ<strong>in</strong>g<br />
hotels and restaurants <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> year 2000 when you wrote it. Some of<br />
<strong>the</strong>m will have shut, be under new ownership, burnt down, who<br />
knows what.’<br />
To which I replied, ‘<strong>Pilgrims</strong> is a history. The millennium, when<br />
<strong>the</strong> chapter was written, is modern history. As <strong>the</strong> years roll <strong>by</strong>,<br />
and <strong>the</strong> revenues roll <strong>in</strong>, <strong>the</strong> chapter will become older history and<br />
its <strong>in</strong>terest will <strong>in</strong>crease accord<strong>in</strong>gly. Leave it as it is, Gav<strong>in</strong>, I<br />
implore you.’<br />
When I last saw <strong>the</strong> proofs, <strong>the</strong> section hadn’t been tampered<br />
with. Not yet.<br />
16
Introduction<br />
An Extremely Brief History<br />
st andrews is with<strong>in</strong> spitt<strong>in</strong>g distance of <strong>the</strong> Arctic Circle. It is<br />
north of Moscow and on <strong>the</strong> same l<strong>in</strong>e of latitude as Hudson’s Bay<br />
<strong>in</strong> Canada. If it weren’t for <strong>the</strong> fact that we are on an island, and<br />
that <strong>the</strong> Gulf Stream has not yet been entirely obliterated <strong>by</strong> global<br />
warm<strong>in</strong>g, St Andrews would be <strong>the</strong> home of ice hockey ra<strong>the</strong>r<br />
than <strong>the</strong> Home of Golf. It is 50 miles north of Ed<strong>in</strong>burgh, <strong>in</strong> what<br />
used to be <strong>the</strong> K<strong>in</strong>gdom of Fife, and not on <strong>the</strong> way to anywhere.<br />
The a91 reaches St Andrews and stops, just as <strong>the</strong> Trans-Siberian<br />
Railway reaches Vladivostok and stops. If you are here, <strong>the</strong> presumption<br />
is that you are not just pass<strong>in</strong>g through.<br />
St Andrews goes back a long way. Natives have been liv<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong><br />
<strong>the</strong>se parts s<strong>in</strong>ce <strong>the</strong> days when mank<strong>in</strong>d was still <strong>in</strong> short<br />
trousers, but recorded history didn’t really get go<strong>in</strong>g until <strong>the</strong><br />
Romans reached <strong>the</strong> river Tay <strong>in</strong> ad 79. 1 I have to say that Romans<br />
this far north were a surprise. I had been brought up to believe,<br />
quite wrongly, that <strong>the</strong>y never conquered Scotland because <strong>the</strong>y<br />
didn’t have socks. You certa<strong>in</strong>ly never see pictures of <strong>the</strong>m wear<strong>in</strong>g<br />
anyth<strong>in</strong>g o<strong>the</strong>r than a pair of open-toed sandals which (visitors<br />
please note) is not recommended footwear for this part of <strong>the</strong><br />
world. They must have been a hardy lot because <strong>the</strong>y stuck it out<br />
until ad 300, <strong>by</strong> which time <strong>the</strong> lure of <strong>the</strong> Tuscan sunsh<strong>in</strong>e had<br />
clearly become irresistible. The only th<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> Romans left beh<strong>in</strong>d<br />
<strong>in</strong> St Andrews itself was one worn co<strong>in</strong> dated ad 268 which was<br />
found <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> grounds of St Leonards School. 2<br />
Next up were <strong>the</strong> Picts, who pa<strong>in</strong>ted <strong>the</strong>mselves with a blue<br />
dye called woad and hence acquired <strong>the</strong>ir name which means ‘<strong>the</strong><br />
pa<strong>in</strong>ted people’. On <strong>the</strong> whole <strong>the</strong> use of woad has died out <strong>in</strong><br />
Scotland, except when supporters assemble to watch <strong>the</strong> national<br />
team play football. The Picts were hea<strong>the</strong>ns, which meant that<br />
<strong>the</strong>y were suitable targets for any Christian missionary who hap-<br />
17
pilgrims <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> rough<br />
pened along but, this be<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> Dark Ages, <strong>the</strong> surround<strong>in</strong>g gloom<br />
makes it hard to know which set of missionaries earned <strong>the</strong> bonus<br />
po<strong>in</strong>ts – perhaps St Columba’s team on Iona, perhaps St N<strong>in</strong>ian’s<br />
from Whithorn <strong>in</strong> Dumfries and Galloway, or perhaps St Cuthbert’s<br />
from L<strong>in</strong>disfarne <strong>in</strong> Northumbria. 3 Also arriv<strong>in</strong>g under<br />
cover of night was <strong>the</strong> mysterious St Rule who, as legend has it,<br />
landed here bear<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> bones of St Andrew, <strong>the</strong> Apostle. It is after<br />
<strong>the</strong>se dry bones that St Andrews is named. By <strong>the</strong> 10th century, or<br />
<strong>the</strong>reabouts, and thanks <strong>in</strong> part to Vik<strong>in</strong>g preferences for rape and<br />
pillage holidays on <strong>the</strong> west coast,* St Andrews had become <strong>the</strong><br />
hq of <strong>the</strong> Scottish Church. 4<br />
Visitors to St Andrews, even those with eyes only for golf, can<br />
hardly fail to notice <strong>the</strong> spectacular ru<strong>in</strong>s at <strong>the</strong> east end of town. I<br />
suppose some might. I do know a Canadian who was so taken with<br />
<strong>the</strong> golf courses that it was years before he realised that <strong>the</strong> town<br />
had an east end, but for most of us, addicts <strong>in</strong>cluded, <strong>the</strong> rema<strong>in</strong>s<br />
are more or less unmissable. They belong to <strong>the</strong> great Ca<strong>the</strong>dral,<br />
founded <strong>in</strong> 1160. By <strong>the</strong> time it was consecrated <strong>in</strong> 1318 (an event<br />
which prompted Robert Bruce to ride his horse up <strong>the</strong> ma<strong>in</strong> aisle),<br />
it was <strong>the</strong> largest church <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> country, and <strong>in</strong>deed <strong>the</strong> largest build<strong>in</strong>g<br />
erected <strong>in</strong> Scotland until <strong>the</strong> Victorians developed a taste for railway<br />
stations on <strong>the</strong> grand scale. It was built <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> days when what<br />
mattered was religion. It put St Andrews <strong>in</strong> pole position, it kept <strong>the</strong><br />
big-spend<strong>in</strong>g clergymen <strong>in</strong> town, and it did wonders for tourism.<br />
Yet <strong>by</strong> 1559, it was <strong>in</strong> ru<strong>in</strong>s. The town spent 150 years putt<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong><br />
th<strong>in</strong>g up, used it for a fur<strong>the</strong>r 240 years, and <strong>the</strong>n, egged on <strong>by</strong> John<br />
Knox (of whom more later), laid it to waste. To get a fix on <strong>the</strong> scale<br />
of self-mutilation <strong>in</strong>volved, imag<strong>in</strong>e <strong>the</strong> townsfolk of today tak<strong>in</strong>g a<br />
tractor and plough<strong>in</strong>g up <strong>the</strong> Old Course.<br />
The old town of St Andrews grew up around <strong>the</strong> Ca<strong>the</strong>dral,<br />
with South Street and North Street sweep<strong>in</strong>g up to <strong>the</strong> Ca<strong>the</strong>dral<br />
gates. Both streets are broad and elegant, <strong>in</strong> spite of break<strong>in</strong>g<br />
da V<strong>in</strong>ci’s rule that a street should be as wide as <strong>the</strong> height of <strong>the</strong><br />
* Iona, <strong>the</strong> orig<strong>in</strong>al centre of <strong>the</strong> Scottish church, was persistently raided. In 849, some<br />
of St Columba’s relics were moved east to Dunkeld.<br />
18
an extremely brief history<br />
houses. They are several times wider, which is just as well or where<br />
would we all park our cars. The medieval street plan was, and is,<br />
delightfully simple. Th<strong>in</strong>k of an egg ly<strong>in</strong>g on its side. The Ca<strong>the</strong>dral<br />
is at <strong>the</strong> po<strong>in</strong>ty east end and from it South Street and North Street<br />
make up <strong>the</strong> sides of <strong>the</strong> shell. Down <strong>the</strong> middle of <strong>the</strong> egg, through<br />
<strong>the</strong> yolk as it were, runs Market Street. To <strong>the</strong> north (ie beyond<br />
North Street) is a street called The Scores, and <strong>the</strong>n <strong>the</strong> North Sea.<br />
To <strong>the</strong> south and west are <strong>the</strong> modern additions to <strong>the</strong> town. The<br />
golf courses beg<strong>in</strong> on <strong>the</strong> north-west end of <strong>the</strong> egg. Everyth<strong>in</strong>g is<br />
walkable, and <strong>the</strong>re isn’t anyone, I don’t care how bad his sense of<br />
direction, who will f<strong>in</strong>d it possible to get lost.<br />
With <strong>the</strong> Ca<strong>the</strong>dral came <strong>the</strong> University. Religion and learn<strong>in</strong>g<br />
are old bedfellows. Founded <strong>in</strong> 1410, <strong>the</strong> university is <strong>the</strong> oldest<br />
<strong>in</strong> Scotland and preceded <strong>in</strong> Brita<strong>in</strong> only <strong>by</strong> Oxford and Cambridge.<br />
Over <strong>the</strong> years it has churned out some great names, <strong>the</strong> movers and<br />
shakers <strong>in</strong> Scottish history, as well as <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> wider world, martyrs,<br />
scholars, swordsmen, scientists, poets, you name it. Even Marat,<br />
<strong>the</strong> French revolutionary, took an md <strong>in</strong> medic<strong>in</strong>e here, but that<br />
was <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> days when standards were lower and before he had discovered<br />
<strong>the</strong> perils of lett<strong>in</strong>g young ladies <strong>in</strong>to his bathroom. If you<br />
are <strong>in</strong> St Andrews on <strong>the</strong> first Saturday after <strong>the</strong> students come<br />
back <strong>in</strong> April, you can see many of <strong>the</strong> great names of St Andrews<br />
life walk<strong>in</strong>g through <strong>the</strong> town <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> Kate Kennedy procession. St<br />
Andrew himself leads <strong>the</strong> way carry<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> X-shaped cross that<br />
appears on <strong>the</strong> Scottish flag (and on extras <strong>in</strong> Braveheart), whilst<br />
John Cleese, a former Rector, br<strong>in</strong>gs up <strong>the</strong> rear.*<br />
There were tourists <strong>in</strong> St Andrews long before golfers, only <strong>in</strong><br />
<strong>the</strong> old days <strong>the</strong>y were called pilgrims. Curious as it may seem,<br />
<strong>in</strong>deed as it was, nowhere else <strong>in</strong> Nor<strong>the</strong>rn Europe boasted <strong>the</strong><br />
relics of an apostle like St Andrew, so those <strong>in</strong> need of salvation –<br />
a sizeable market <strong>in</strong> any age – risked plague, wars, bandits and our<br />
usual wea<strong>the</strong>r of ‘w<strong>in</strong>ds with gales’ to get here. The Vatican Office<br />
for International Pilgrimage, a sort of medieval travel bureau,<br />
* John Cleese, and <strong>in</strong>deed St Andrew, are impersonated <strong>by</strong> students.<br />
19
pilgrims <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> rough<br />
rated St Andrews <strong>the</strong> second most important pilgrimage site <strong>in</strong><br />
North-Western Europe (after Santiago de Compostella <strong>in</strong> Spa<strong>in</strong>). 5<br />
Penitent pilgrims poured <strong>in</strong> from Italy, Bohemia, Poland, France<br />
and Flanders. From <strong>the</strong> north, Scand<strong>in</strong>avians filtered down via <strong>the</strong><br />
Ca<strong>the</strong>dral of St Magnus <strong>in</strong> Orkney. In response, St Andrews’ second<br />
oldest profession (its bed-and-breakfast ladies) put up <strong>the</strong>ir prices,<br />
thus <strong>in</strong>itiat<strong>in</strong>g a tradition which cont<strong>in</strong>ues today: if you want a<br />
room <strong>in</strong> Open week, start sav<strong>in</strong>g early.<br />
It never does to underestimate <strong>the</strong> speed with which th<strong>in</strong>gs can<br />
turn sour. Take <strong>the</strong> world economy. One moment we are told that<br />
because of free trade and new technology, we will all cont<strong>in</strong>ue to<br />
grow richer and richer until <strong>the</strong> last trumpet. Then <strong>the</strong>re is a little<br />
local difficulty with <strong>the</strong> Thai Baht and a stumble or two from <strong>the</strong><br />
Russian President, and alarm bells about world recession start<br />
r<strong>in</strong>g<strong>in</strong>g. It is <strong>the</strong> same on <strong>the</strong> golf course. One par follows rout<strong>in</strong>ely<br />
after ano<strong>the</strong>r, oh what an easy game golf is, and <strong>the</strong>n <strong>the</strong>re<br />
is a freakish bounce, <strong>the</strong> ball lodges aga<strong>in</strong>st <strong>the</strong> face of a bunker<br />
and you end up tak<strong>in</strong>g eight. This is more or less how it was for<br />
St Andrews. By <strong>the</strong> 16th century, th<strong>in</strong>gs could not have been go<strong>in</strong>g<br />
better. The tourist trade was boom<strong>in</strong>g. Up to 300 ships from <strong>the</strong><br />
Cont<strong>in</strong>ent would sail <strong>in</strong>to harbour for <strong>the</strong> big town fair <strong>in</strong> April.<br />
The Church had more money to spend than <strong>the</strong> State 6 and spent a<br />
good proportion of it right here <strong>in</strong> St Andrews. The town boasted<br />
60 to 70 bakers, 7 and a brewer on every street corner to provide<br />
<strong>the</strong> clerics, <strong>the</strong> pilgrims and <strong>the</strong> merchants with <strong>the</strong>ir even<strong>in</strong>g tipple.<br />
A f<strong>in</strong>e old time was be<strong>in</strong>g had <strong>by</strong> all, and <strong>the</strong>n along came <strong>the</strong><br />
Reformation, John Knox with his vitriol aga<strong>in</strong>st ‘idolatrie’ and<br />
Catholic excesses, and all that nonsense with <strong>the</strong> Ca<strong>the</strong>dral.<br />
Quite apart from anyth<strong>in</strong>g else, when your major assets are<br />
some ancient bones and <strong>the</strong> regional hq of a corporation as<br />
wealthy as <strong>the</strong> Catholic Church, it doesn’t make sense to declare<br />
publicly that bone worship is so much mumbo-jumbo and to<br />
reduce <strong>the</strong> Ca<strong>the</strong>dral to a pile of old stones. It is like McDonald’s<br />
tell<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> world that junk food is bad for your health and <strong>the</strong>n<br />
bulldoz<strong>in</strong>g all <strong>the</strong>ir burger jo<strong>in</strong>ts. It just doesn’t demonstrate much<br />
20
an extremely brief history<br />
of an eye for bus<strong>in</strong>ess. Anyway, when <strong>the</strong> tourists had stopped<br />
com<strong>in</strong>g, and <strong>the</strong> Old Church, with its <strong>in</strong>satiable appetite for <strong>the</strong><br />
f<strong>in</strong>er th<strong>in</strong>gs <strong>in</strong> life, had been kicked out, all <strong>the</strong> juicy handouts<br />
stopped with <strong>the</strong>m. No more queues of people outside <strong>the</strong> butcher,<br />
<strong>the</strong> baker and <strong>the</strong> candlestick maker. No more endless streams of<br />
pilgrims will<strong>in</strong>g to pay through <strong>the</strong> nose for a place to lay <strong>the</strong>ir<br />
troubled and unworthy heads.<br />
The sack<strong>in</strong>g of <strong>the</strong> Ca<strong>the</strong>dral <strong>in</strong> 1559 was not quite <strong>the</strong> end of<br />
St Andrews, but almost. The Archbishops, now Protestant, managed<br />
to cl<strong>in</strong>g on with some <strong>in</strong>terruptions until 1689, at which<br />
po<strong>in</strong>t bishops of all denom<strong>in</strong>ations were deemed unnecessary –<br />
but <strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong>n St Andrews was star<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong>to <strong>the</strong> a<strong>by</strong>ss. Trade had collapsed,<br />
bus<strong>in</strong>ess was mov<strong>in</strong>g to <strong>the</strong> larger cities, and Union with<br />
England and <strong>the</strong> open<strong>in</strong>g up of <strong>the</strong> us colonies would drag <strong>the</strong><br />
centre of gravity southward and westward. St Andrews’ central<br />
position <strong>in</strong> Scottish affairs was at an end and it wasn’t long before<br />
<strong>the</strong> build<strong>in</strong>gs were crumbl<strong>in</strong>g and <strong>the</strong> people were leav<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong><br />
droves. Dr Johnson, <strong>the</strong> dictionary man, came to St Andrews <strong>in</strong><br />
1773, and muttered about ‘<strong>in</strong>digence and gloomy depopulation’. 8<br />
(Johnson was not <strong>the</strong> most neutral observer, m<strong>in</strong>d you. One of his<br />
o<strong>the</strong>r l<strong>in</strong>es was that ‘<strong>the</strong> noblest prospect which a Scotchman ever<br />
sees is <strong>the</strong> high road that leads to England’.) By 1800, <strong>the</strong>re were<br />
no more than two or three ships <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> harbour (a 99% decl<strong>in</strong>e),<br />
a dozen bakers (an 83% decl<strong>in</strong>e), and two brewers 9 – and when<br />
anyth<strong>in</strong>g falls <strong>by</strong> that much, it is time for <strong>the</strong> f<strong>in</strong>anciers to climb<br />
out onto <strong>the</strong> w<strong>in</strong>dow ledge and jump off. By 1876, numbers at <strong>the</strong><br />
University had evaporated to a mere 130 10 which was f<strong>in</strong>e for a<br />
dr<strong>in</strong>ks party, but a little th<strong>in</strong> for an endur<strong>in</strong>g place of scholarship.<br />
The prospects were look<strong>in</strong>g bad. Worse than bad – term<strong>in</strong>al. The<br />
town was slalom<strong>in</strong>g, accelerando, down <strong>the</strong> slippery slope, and<br />
<strong>the</strong> only th<strong>in</strong>g that saved it from go<strong>in</strong>g splat <strong>in</strong>to its own medieval<br />
pav<strong>in</strong>g stones was <strong>the</strong> little white ball.<br />
Golf and St Andrews have been jo<strong>in</strong>ed at <strong>the</strong> hip for centuries.<br />
Even at its dawn, golf began to dom<strong>in</strong>ate wak<strong>in</strong>g hours to such an<br />
extent that James ii of Scotland had to ban it (<strong>in</strong> 1457) because it<br />
21
pilgrims <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> rough<br />
<strong>in</strong>terfered with <strong>the</strong> small matter of defence aga<strong>in</strong>st <strong>the</strong> English.<br />
Not enough practice hours were be<strong>in</strong>g put <strong>in</strong> on <strong>the</strong> longbow<br />
which, with <strong>the</strong> auld enemy lurk<strong>in</strong>g, showed ei<strong>the</strong>r commendable<br />
sang froid or major league masochism. ‘It’s <strong>the</strong> English, it’s <strong>the</strong><br />
English’, came <strong>the</strong> cry. ‘Aye, weel, A’m twa oop on wee Jamie and<br />
A’m nay daunder<strong>in</strong> hame.’ It wasn’t just <strong>the</strong> commoners who<br />
played. They were all at it, even royalty. Mary Queen of Scots was<br />
seen out on <strong>the</strong> L<strong>in</strong>ks* a few days after <strong>the</strong> tragic loss of her husband,<br />
Darnley, giv<strong>in</strong>g rise to speculation that she had a tee time booked<br />
and didn’t dare cancel it. James vi of Scotland, when he went to<br />
London <strong>in</strong> 1603 to become James i of England, took his clubs<br />
with him. 11 The precise date that golf came to St Andrews is not<br />
known, but it is thought to have been played here <strong>by</strong> 1400. It was<br />
certa<strong>in</strong>ly <strong>in</strong> full sw<strong>in</strong>g before 1552, when Archbishop Hamilton<br />
agreed – <strong>in</strong> exchange for be<strong>in</strong>g able to keep <strong>the</strong> rabbits that<br />
roamed <strong>the</strong> course – to confirm <strong>the</strong> town’s right to play golf (and<br />
football) on <strong>the</strong> L<strong>in</strong>ks. The th<strong>in</strong>gs a man will do for rabbit stew.<br />
By 1691, St Andrews was described as ‘<strong>the</strong> metropolis of golf<strong>in</strong>g’. 12<br />
The first stirr<strong>in</strong>gs of organisation <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> game began <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong><br />
middle of <strong>the</strong> 18th century. The Honourable Company of<br />
Ed<strong>in</strong>burgh Golfers ga<strong>the</strong>red toge<strong>the</strong>r <strong>in</strong> 1744 to play for a silver<br />
golf club and drew up golf’s first set of 13 succ<strong>in</strong>ct rules, <strong>the</strong> most<br />
delphic of which was rule 2, ‘Your tee must be on <strong>the</strong> ground’. As<br />
opposed to what? On your caddie’s head? Ten years later, <strong>in</strong> 1754,<br />
it was <strong>the</strong> turn of <strong>the</strong> Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St Andrews. †<br />
Now <strong>the</strong> R&A had one great advantage over <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r emerg<strong>in</strong>g<br />
golf clubs. At a time when <strong>the</strong> Honourable Company and o<strong>the</strong>rs<br />
were mov<strong>in</strong>g from course to course, <strong>the</strong> R&A had its own great<br />
L<strong>in</strong>ks. The early Opens, when not at Prestwick or Musselburgh,<br />
were played at St Andrews. The great players of <strong>the</strong> day, such as<br />
Allan Robertson, Tom Morris, or Andra Kirkaldy, worked as caddies<br />
* This <strong>in</strong>cidentally is <strong>the</strong> earliest known reference to a woman play<strong>in</strong>g golf. The date<br />
was 1568. The L<strong>in</strong>ks <strong>in</strong> question were <strong>the</strong> fields of Seton (east of Ed<strong>in</strong>burgh).<br />
†<br />
The R&A actually started life as <strong>the</strong> Society of St Andrews Golfers and stayed that<br />
way until 1834 when William iv gave it his royal bless<strong>in</strong>g.<br />
22
an extremely brief history<br />
or clubmakers <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> town, or like Willie and Mungo Park, came<br />
here for <strong>the</strong> big money matches. The R&A was royal, it was<br />
ancient and it played on God’s own l<strong>in</strong>ks <strong>in</strong> a town where golf had<br />
become <strong>the</strong> only game <strong>in</strong> town. So it was that when <strong>the</strong> senior<br />
clubs wished <strong>in</strong> 1897 to create a uniform code of rules, it was<br />
decided unanimously to give <strong>the</strong> job to <strong>the</strong> R&A.<br />
It was only a short step from <strong>the</strong>re to becom<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> rul<strong>in</strong>g<br />
body of world golf. OK, <strong>the</strong> United States has decided to go its<br />
own way (<strong>the</strong> Declaration of Independence has a great deal to<br />
answer for), but that still leaves <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r n<strong>in</strong>ety-n<strong>in</strong>e countries<br />
who look to <strong>the</strong> R&A to tell <strong>the</strong>m what <strong>the</strong> rule is if <strong>the</strong>y play an<br />
air shot over somebody else’s ball, or whe<strong>the</strong>r <strong>the</strong>y can replay<br />
without penalty if, as actually happened, an earthquake measur<strong>in</strong>g<br />
7.1 on <strong>the</strong> Richter scale erupts at <strong>the</strong> top of <strong>the</strong>ir backsw<strong>in</strong>g and<br />
causes <strong>the</strong>m to drive out of bounds. 13 Not that <strong>the</strong> R&A always<br />
gets it right. A journalist telephoned to ask if <strong>the</strong> stymie* had been<br />
abolished. By mistake, he was put through to <strong>the</strong> lady beh<strong>in</strong>d <strong>the</strong><br />
bar who told him <strong>in</strong> no uncerta<strong>in</strong> terms that it had not. ‘There is<br />
a bottle on <strong>the</strong> shelf and we still serve it!’ 14<br />
As for <strong>the</strong> Old Course itself, which has witnessed <strong>the</strong> development<br />
of <strong>the</strong> game from its very beg<strong>in</strong>n<strong>in</strong>gs, seen all <strong>the</strong> champions<br />
and hosted many great Open Championships, it has become <strong>the</strong><br />
most renowned piece of golf<strong>in</strong>g turf on <strong>the</strong> planet. The pilgrims<br />
are back and <strong>the</strong> town is aga<strong>in</strong> as vibrant and cosmopolitan as it<br />
was all those hundreds of years ago.<br />
* A stymie is where your opponent’s ball lies between you and <strong>the</strong> hole requir<strong>in</strong>g you<br />
to play round (or over) it. The stymie was abolished <strong>in</strong> 1952. Players now have to lift<br />
and mark. For an amus<strong>in</strong>g and <strong>in</strong>formative trot through <strong>the</strong> rules of golf, John Glover’s<br />
Celebration of 100 years of <strong>the</strong> Rules of Play (whence come <strong>the</strong> earthquake and stymie<br />
<strong>in</strong>cidents) is highly recommended.<br />
23
pilgrims <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> rough<br />
24
committed to publish<strong>in</strong>g well written books worth read<strong>in</strong>g<br />
luath press takes its name from Robert Burns, whose little collie Luath<br />
(Gael., swift or nimble) tripped up Jean Armour at a wedd<strong>in</strong>g and gave<br />
him <strong>the</strong> chance to speak to <strong>the</strong> woman who was to be his wife and <strong>the</strong><br />
abid<strong>in</strong>g love of his life. Burns called one of <strong>the</strong> ‘Twa Dogs’<br />
Luath after Cuchull<strong>in</strong>’s hunt<strong>in</strong>g dog <strong>in</strong> Ossian’s F<strong>in</strong>gal.<br />
Luath Press was established <strong>in</strong> 1981 <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> heart of<br />
Burns country, and is now based a few steps up<br />
<strong>the</strong> road from Burns’ first lodg<strong>in</strong>gs on<br />
Ed<strong>in</strong>burgh’s Royal Mile. Luath offers you<br />
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