Beacon May 2023

Page 10A THE BEACON May 2023
By Merrill Hutchinson
Blending families is no easy
task. In our case, our family
blended through adoption. We
thought the adjustment period
would be about six months
or so, and then we would be
one big happy family. Eight
years later we learned that
blending families is a long,
slow process. Now, we have
a much better understanding
of the challenges of blending
families and how to help others
win in this process.
Before we talk about blending
families, knowing a little
about how people respond to
a broken home environment
is helpful. Home is intended
to be the primary source of
security for our children, the
place where they can feel safe
and become the people they
were meant to be. When family
brokenness occurs due to
divorce, separation, or death
of a spouse, an interesting
phenomenon kicks in- selfsurvival.
“The ship is going
down and the only thing I can
think about is saving myself.”
How does this relate to
the challenges of blending
families? Children and adults
who are operating in survival
mode will have more challenges
with empathy and
service to others if they do
not understand how they are
benefitted directly. They grow
accustomed to taking care of
themselves and see others as
potential threats to their overall
well-being.
Blending Families to Win!
Seven key elements contribute
to successfully blending
families:
1. Slow and Steady - When
blending families, you get to
know everyone and adjust to
their various personalities and
living styles. You can’t speed
up the process. Patience in the
process of learning about all
the family members and what
makes them tick. Patience is
critical to making everyone
feel understood and secure in
the new family dynamic.
2. Listening - If you want
to build security and understanding
in the newly blended
family, you must practice your
listening skills. Listening to
their body language, moods,
energy, and tone can reveal
screaming messages that you
cannot afford to miss. You
may discover the fears and
insecurities that each member
brings into the new family.
Listening also requires adults
to learn to invite discussion
with the children but to avoid
steering the discussion.
3. Empathy - Acknowledge
past hurts and baggage that
each individual brings to the
new family. A person’s past
will be part of his or her present.
Even if you don’t agree
with it or like it, you must
acknowledge that the baggage
is part of the fabric with
which you are working. If
kids were abused, neglected,
suffered grief, or experienced
trauma, no matter the case,
these things must be acknowledged.
Minimizing them will
push a child back into selfsurvival
mode. Comments
like, “They just need to get
over it,” do not accomplish
anything. However, teaching
and practicing empathy,
“walking a mile in another
man’s shoes”, is essential to
achieving true understanding
and feeling valued.
4. Foundation Building -
The foundation on which the
family is going to be built
cannot be left up to chance,
feelings, or opinions. Before
blending the family, adults
must take time to intentionally
establish the values expected
in the blended family. Values
do not change with moods or
opinions. They are the ROCK
on which your family will be
built!
5. Respect - Respect is
not negotiable. A high level
of respect is both given and
received by all parties. “Even
if we don’t agree….we’ll
commit to respecting one another.”
All people need to see
that they are valued and worthy
members of the family. By
demonstrating and expecting
respect, the family will have
a much better likelihood to
work through difficult times.
6. Fair, Firm, and Consistent
- Especially when
blending kids with new
parents, predictability is the
key to creating security. Even
if someone doesn’t like a
particular rule, knowing that
the rule is set and will be
enforced in a particular way is
important. Research indicates
7 1 3
5 9
6 2 9
8 4
2 5 3 1
2 7
2 4
9 6
9 1 8 2
Sudoku
Sudoku is a logical puzzle game that may
seem difficult at first glance, but actually it
is not as hard as it looks! Fill a number in to
every cell in the grid, using the numbers 1
to 9. You can only use each number once in
each row, each column, and in each of the
3×3 boxes. The solution can be found on
our website www.goBEACONnews.com/
print_edition. Click on the link for Sudoku
and view the solution for this month and last.
Good luck and have fun!
that especially early on in the
blending process, the biological
parent must be the primary
disciplinarian for his or her
child. Trust is still being built
by the step-parent and unfamiliar
discipline often does
more harm in building trust.
7. Flexibility - Haven’t
you heard….BLESSED ARE
THE FLEXIBLE FOR THEY
WILL NOT BE BENT OUT
OF SHAPE. Things aren’t
always going to go as planned
and will take time. Learning
to be flexible will help keep
your emotions in check and
allow you to resolve challenges
with more grace.
Merrill Hutchinson is
the President of Rock Solid
Families, a faith-based marriage
and family coaching
organization in St. Leon, IN.
For more information, contact
812-576-ROCK.
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By Stefanie Hoffmeier
Spring is upon us, and many
of us will start cleaning up
and cleaning out. Before you
load up your garbage cans or
rent a dumpster, it is important
to understand which
items can be thrown away,
and which items pose a safety
risk in the trash.
Household Hazardous
Waste, or HHW, is any unusable
or unwanted product
found in your home, garage,
shed, or barn that can be
hazardous to plants, animals,
humans, or the environment if
it is not disposed of correctly.
HHW are items such as paint,
garden chemicals, automotive
chemicals, or other chemicals
that contain a warning label.
Almost all products that are
considered HHW will carry
signal words on their labels to
alert consumers to potential
hazards. These signal words
include “Poison”, “danger”,
“warning”, and “caution”, all
Know Before You Throw
of which are used to indicate
the level of toxicity of the
product. Hazardous household
products should never go in
your regular trash, down the
drain, on the ground, or in a
burn barrel. Many of these
HHW items can be disposed
of properly or recycled at your
county’s solid waste district.
In Dearborn County, residents
can bring their HHW products
to the Dearborn County Recycling
Center Drive-Thru.
In Indiana, the General Assembly
enacted the Indiana
Electronic Waste (E-Waste)
Law (Indiana Code 13-20.5)
in 2011. The purpose of the
law is to reduce the amount of
electronic waste being sent to
Indiana landfills and to ensure
that hazardous substances
found in electronic waste are
being managed in an appropriate
and environmentally responsible
manner. Electronics
contain heavy metals, including
lead, mercury, cadmium,
and hexavalent chromium
that can be harmful if released
into the environment. Nonalkaline
batteries, often found
in electronics, tools, and toys
pose a fire hazard risk when
placed in the trash. The leading
cause of trash truck fires
is the improper disposal of
batteries. All non-alkaline
batteries should be recycled.
Dearborn County residents
can bring their electronics
and batteries to the Dearborn
County Recycling Center
Drive-Thru. Battery boxes
are also available in libraries
throughout Dearborn County.
Prescription medications
are another item that should
not be thrown in the trash
or flushed down the toilet.
Septic systems and wastewater
treatment facilities
are not designed to remove
pharmaceuticals from water.
Medicine placed in the trash
can still ends up in wastewater
treatment plants when the
leachate is pumped out of the
landfill. Medications left in
cabinets can lead to accidental
overdose. Old prescription
medications and sharps can be
taken to the drop-box in the
lobby of the jail or the lobby
of the Lawrenceburg Police
station. Old inhalers and liquid
medications can be taken
to the Health Department or
dropped off at local pharmacies.
Don’t forget that pet
medications need to be disposed
of in the same manner
as your prescriptions, as many
of them are the same medications
that are prescribed to
humans.
The Dearborn County Recycling
Center will be hosting
a special recycling event in
honor of Earth Day on Saturday,
April 22, from 9:00 am
to Noon, in the Drive-Thru at
10700 Prospect Ln., Aurora,
IN 47001. General recycling,
HHW, and electronics will
be accepted. The Dearborn
County Sheriff’s Department
will be at the DCRC to collect
unused prescription medications.
The Dearborn County
Health Department will also
be available for residents to
receive free sharps containers,
resource kits, blood pressure
checks, and glucose checks.
The event is for Dearborn
County residents.
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