CreedOfAssiah

Creed of Assiah

leon xiv (leon_the_14)

Copyright 2013 by leon xiv (leon_the_14)

Smashwords Edition

Chapter 0

Hmmm……

….fuck it, let’s have a theme song for this chapter…

Artist: Sandra – Song Title: All you zombies

So what do I have to tell you? Well you will have to read it all in order to fully

understand what it is I’m trying to convey to you. Am I especially unique? In all

honesty I don’t know. There may be other former two time Satanists. I know that

there are followers of Pan-Aryanism who find that their greatest enemies are their

‘fellow’ whites. And I know there are practicing Christians who do not believe that

Jesus is God but adhere to their church because of their social circumstances.

Maybe you are one of these people, or maybe you know these people, but then

again maybe not. Fact is that you have to share this earth with these sorts of

people and indeed with others of varying beliefs whether they are religious,

ideological, philosophical and indeed biological. I’ve been taught some lessons

along the way in the journeys I’ve travelled, some good and some bad.

I started writing this book towards the end of 2009. My motivation? The first and

foremost is that I see a generation (Gen Y) who are both truly clueless and yet

think that ‘their’ worldview is truly right. But I have also come across members of

the same generation who truly know how to think rationally for themselves but

who are led to believe that there is something wrong with them because they

won’t alter their way of thinking to be ‘on the bandwagon.

I also wrote this book as a token offering to thank Jehovah for his mercy, grace

and patience in dealing with me. If it was anyone else who had to deal with the

degree of treachery that I attempted against him I believe I would have departed

the realm of the living a long time ago. In writing this book I have had to confront

aspects of my past that I just wished or pretended never happened. ‘The truth will

set you free’ is a common saying, but it’s not just a catchcry. But then again what

is truth? For me it is what one has actually physically experienced, not just

philosophies and theories cooked up by some ‘academic’ who wants his musings

applied to people he has no relation to or understanding of, or indeed care for.

It has taken me 20 years to put fact to paper, I just didn’t want to look back on the

stupid things I did. It is one thing to make mistakes; they can be painful and

harsh. But it is more painful to watch others make the same mistakes and

realising that you were in a position to try and stop it. And that feeling is

compounded when you actually decide to do nothing because you couldn’t be

bothered or you remember that you wished “Why didn’t someone tell me?” when

you were in the same position.

This book isn’t for me to ‘win friends’; there will be a lot of people who will be

offended. You will question what I write and rightly so, as long as you question

my ‘opposition’ and indeed all other opinions - well then good! Maybe my writing

style isn’t all that refined, maybe I do repeat myself in some instances and maybe

I use the name Jehovah and title God in an interchangeable manner (just a habit

of mine, Jehovah is God). I don’t believe in the trinity, after all a God with

partners and equals isn’t really a God in his own right.

Yes I can already hear the bitching, whining and moaning from the politically

correct spouting their usual diatribe of left wing slogans (“How dare he say that

God is a he! We have equal opportunity these days! Blah, blah, blah, [insert

Marxist slogans here], and she doesn’t exist, blah, blah, you racist!) Or the likes

of Christian fundamentalists calling for me to be burnt at the stake because I

don’t believe Jesus is God. If you want to bitch and whine to me then fine, I’ll put

my email address somewhere in the book but first read it before deciding if I’m a

bastard or not.

I will tell you how I became a Satanist and why I finally left it; I will tell you about

magic and even tell you how to practice it. I will tell you how ‘white’ supremacy

has been hijacked to discriminate on class instead of biology and I will tell you

about its bastard creation known as ‘brown’ supremacy, which aims to turn Islam

into a political cult for all non-whites instead of leaving it as a religious/spiritual

faith. I will tell you everything without apology.

Rest of the Chapters:

(And if you’re so inclined for theme music I have placed my recommendations at

the end of the chapter.)

Ch 1 - Its gotta start somewhere. (1981-82)

Here I write about circumstances that led me to Satanism and things that

occurred in that period; at the time I was aged 12-13. I write about why I left and

the period in-between my return back to Satanism at age 19.

Ch 2 - Return trip. (1988-91)

In this I write about my second period of Satanism and the events that led to me

leaving for good. This period covers me for the ages of 19-23.

Ch 3 - The road to recovery has its potholes.

Down and out, I managed to pick myself back up only to find that the standards

had been lowered in my absence.

Ch 4 - Lost, found and still on the right path.

There was voodoo in the air, but a fresh breath gave me life and leads me to

make things right.

Ch 5 - So you wannabe baaaad!?

What Satanism actually is, forget the shit you've seen on TV

Ch 6 - Arrogance Inc.

Today's Atheism is just the same, probably even worse but its useful idiots won't

realise it until it's too late.

Ch 7 - Abracadabra!

Let's talk magic, it's the least I can do.

Ch 8 - Game on molls!

Talk is cheap; do you want to step up to the plate? OK, I'll give you some tips.

Ch 9 - Oh did someone shit in your ice cream diddums?

What I learned from my involvement with the Pan-Aryan movement. The most

important thing I learned was that white Marxists and white supremacists are one

and the same. The dispute between them is over one word.

Ch 10 - Put some Heil in your style.

Continuing on…

Ch 11 - Cults; the bad, the fraudulent and the ugly

Did you know that Wicca, Thelema and Scientology all come from the same

foundation? I’ll also remind you of a cult that operates under your nose and rules

over your head. Arseholes…all of them!

Ch 12 - A final word, for the time being?

So what happened?

Ch 13 - A magical example.

And why not?

Ch 14 - No, not really…this is endgame.

You’ll hate me for this.

Pics

Addendum – I wasn’t expecting this either.

My story takes place in Sydney, Australia and covers the period of 1981 – 2011

(in chapters 1 – 11). I then left this for a while and have resumed the book from

chapter 12. Don’t expect endless Bible quotes or depraved horror stories or any

other kumbayah crap. I remember a quote from the Koran saying you can only

give ‘fair warning’ and that is all I wish to give to you.

Warning and Notice!

This work may not be replicated whole or in part for commercial purposes and

may not be replicated in part for non commercial purposes without express

permission from author. Fair use is permitted but will not be allowed in order to

promote any particular religious, philosophical or ideological organisation.

In other words if you are some kind of new age scammer or cult manager CEO

and use my writings to promote your crooked cult scam or claim them as your

own then I will sue the arse off you for starters!

This book is to be considered for education and entertainment purposes only, by

reading this book and its writings you agree to all of the above.

In other words you don’t get to sue me

About the author…

I am a monotheist as well as a panentheist. I believe in only one God and

Creator his name is Jehovah (praise be upon his name).

I do not represent nor am a member of any particular religion or faith.

I only represent myself.

Tunes..?

Year of the cat – Al Stewart

I was made for lovin’ you – KISS

Number of the beast – Iron Maiden

Order of death – PIL

Losing my religion – R.E.M.

Feel – Robbie Williams

Holy Smoke – Iron Maiden

Tusk – Fleetwood Mac

Bullet with butterfly wings – Smashing Pumpkins

Calm before the storm – Venom

Reborn – Slayer

Remain silent – Keb’Mo’

Mr Vain – Culture Beat

Abracadabra – Stevie Miller Band

Eye in the sky – Alan Parsons Project

The Game – Motorhead

You can do magic – America

Seek and destroy – Metallica

Never surrender – Corey Hart

The prisoner – The Saints

They – Jem

Van Nuys – Sixx AM

All you zombies – The Hooters

Chapter 1

I decided to write this book to explain to readers of all persuasions my

experiences with the occult - that which I once believed to be true and what I

have learned since. This is in a way a memoir of sorts, but I also want to give my

opinion about todays’ society from my experience.

Maybe you will see it as a guide as to a subject I feel has been severely

neglected in this atheist age that we live in, that subject is spirituality and the

subjects pertaining to it.

No I'm not talking about new age chanellers and other kumbayah hippy types.

What I am talking about is the basis of our civilisation which has its' spiritual and

religious basis (or at least it did) in the belief of Jehovah -the God of Abraham.

Regardless of the name you use for God or the religion you subscribe to (or non

religion for that matter), the fact is that the Abrahamic faiths have been and still

are (at least for the time being) the dominant force behind the shaping of human

history. Whether you like it or not you are a product of that force.

However there are people and movements who would wish to change this,

whether it be through the avenues of academia or the junk pile of popular

‘culture’ we have seen and will continue to see entire generations being instilled

with the belief that they are nothing but talking cattle who are only good for

consuming worthless products, having sex and nothing else. Worse than that is

they leave their thinking as to their intellect and spirituality to the ‘shapers and

social engineers’ of society who they believe for some unexplainable reason to

be infallible.

I will tell you how I came to be a Satanist, the reason why I left it, the reason why

I returned to it and the reason why I once again left it. Some of you will find

aspects of my story exciting, boring, fascinating or unbelievable. That is of no

concern to me, I will simply tell you of the things that happened. I have no

intention of ‘spicing up’ the story just to make it more interesting or sensational to

you and if I offend some of you along the way, well...bad luck. I have worn the

hat of Satanist, atheist (of the non-choosing/self worshipping type) and now of

the believer of the God of Abraham - Jehovah.

This is not going to be a ‘Bible tells me so’ pitch; all I wish to do is give you a

perspective of the world today from someone who was a Satanist. You never

really stop learning, or at least you shouldn't and maybe you will learn something

new from this or else have your suspicions confirmed.

There are things that I came across during my Satanist days that really didn't

mean all that much to me then, or I just didn't understand them at the time. As

time moved on (and continues to do so) I gained different perspectives and

learned how to understand and where necessary, apply these things in the

appropriate context.

My main purpose is to put you in the shoes that I used to wear and view the

world, including the ‘stars’ and ‘idols’ of the atheist movement. This book is not to

make accusations against these people based on hearsay and without concrete

evidence, only you can make this judgment for yourselves. I will say that I

recognise in them that which I once was.

So before we go into detail about things, it would be best for you to know about

my life and how I came about to experience and know what I do. I’ve always

been fascinated by the occult (or at least magic, doesn’t every kid love magic

tricks?) from a very young age, and I do believe things happen for a reason.

Whether you want to call it destiny, fate or coincidence the fact is what has

happened has happened, and what will happen, will happen.

For me it started at the age of five, my parents had a board game that was (at

least to me) magically orientated. It was a 70s board game which was typical of

the time, offhand I think the name of it was “Orion”, “Oracle” or something similar

but I’m really not sure but I do remember the maker was “Jigsaw”. I didn’t

understand the actual object of the game, but it was the symbols on the board

and cards that would captivate me.

I always played with the game at every opportunity but in due time like all other

board games it fell apart and the pieces got lost. Still I have never forgotten that

game, even though my memories of it are vague and I had no understanding of

it. My parents divorced when I was six, then again as I was to find out this wasn't

uncommon amongst those who I would later know. Did it cause a ‘life shattering

emotional complex’ for me?

Actually no, and I didn't really care for that matter probably because I didn't

understand what it was about. My father worked hard and tirelessly to raise me, it

was very tough at times but he toiled through it all and we stayed together.

Nothing of any note happened from that time until I was nine, but then again what

was I expecting? For some reason I used to make totem poles with various

symbols on them and took an interest in Ancient Egyptian type things such as

mummies, ankhs and gods. I don’t know why, it was just something I liked. It was

just a phase that passed rather quickly, but then something did happen.

At the time my father and I were living in Canterbury (a lower middle class inner

south west suburb of Sydney) and it was on a Saturday afternoon when I was

standing on the step at the back door looking into the neighbours’ yard. The

neighbour was an old woman living by herself in an old wooden house with a

backyard that resembled a jungle.

On that afternoon the old woman was not home and I was by myself, it was while

I was looking over the fence into the yard I saw what I could only describe as a

grim reaper type entity that was completely black. I only saw it from the side and

back and did not know if it was a person as I could not see any flesh (like hands

and feet) whatsoever but it was roughly the same size as an adult. Not even the

outline of sleeves or any stitching to do with a cloak; however what shook me

was that as this ‘thing’ was moving it didn’t seem to have a stride but I could hear

it crush the weeds with what seemed like very slow plodding footsteps. It seemed

to float across the overgrown grass and junk in the yard while it's' cloak was flush

level with the ground. For me that was enough, I went inside and shut the door.

Sometime later, maybe 15 to 30 minutes later I decided to open the back door to

see if that ‘thing’ was still there. It wasn’t. The neighbour on the other side was a

garden nursery business with a live-in annex, at the time the owner wasn’t living

there so I was able to stroll around the plants and like. There was a shared

driveway and the entrance to the nursery yard was never locked, it was just a

side passage with a wooden door.

I opened the door and saw this ‘thing’ again, only this time face on, it was moving

towards me very slowly. Again no stride and this time no sound, it seemed to

float but it was flush to the ground. The face was completely black with no

features except two bright yellow almond shaped eyes, but it was the blackness

of this ‘thing’ that got me. Even though it was a sunny day it didn’t cast a shadow

nor did the light even reflect off or illuminate it. It just seemed to absorb it. I

managed to stutter “Who are you?” before running back inside, too scared to go

outside until my father came back. When he did I said nothing. What on earth

could you say?

Nothing else of that manner happened to me until I was 12 and started high

school; there I had access to a bigger library than my primary school. I had to do

a book report and ended up doing a report about a book about Elizabeth Bathory;

from there I started taking an interest in what I suppose you call ‘evil’ themes like

vampires, magic and the like. By todays’ standards the library was pretty barren,

but I learned that if you sift enough through writings you will get that one word,

sentence or reference that would lead you to other things of interest. I was kind

of on the way to Satanism but not quite, at the time I had no understanding of

anything pertaining to any sort of religion.

It was only when I used to hang out around and explore in and around what was

called “the canal” or “gully” (Cup and Saucer Creek -Canterbury) that the spark

came. The canal was adjacent to my old primary school and like other canals

and stormwater drains was used as a place for graffiti.

Although most of the graffiti was the run of the mill stuff you see everywhere

there were drawings and paintings of the devil as well as inscriptions and

markers in the canal which I would later find were only of any meaning to those

involved with the occult. While I was still in primary school none of these things

meant anything to me, and as I was too small at the time to lift myself in and out

of the canal I never bothered to check it out further.

However like most other kids I liked to go exploring and soon found a way to

enter and exit the canal easily. From there I would travel up the canal to sections

I had never seen before, they were more isolated and I would discover they were

used by Satanists to sacrifice sheep and goats.

I never saw any of these things happen but I would find the animal heads and

other bits and pieces (like cut off legs crossed and wired outside certain

stormwater tunnels and large bloodstains were the sacrifices were performed) on

occasion as well as more Satanic graffiti. Also along the Cooks River at

Canterbury I found what seemed to be a couple of sheep heads which had been

burnt and wrapped in hessian for some reason. Of course I told my friends about

it and sometimes we would get together to go in the canal just to see what was

happening, they would notice things that I didn't and vice versa. I wouldn’t say I

made a planned decision to become a Satanist as I had no concept of there

being a religion based on worship of Satan. I understood there was such a thing

as ‘devil’ worship but I could only guess as to what that was or what was

involved. Nevertheless it was just something I slowly slipped into.

Looking back on it I would say that what was ‘learned’ in the canal and popular

culture guided my decision, with TV shows like the “Night Stalker” and movies

like “the Omen.” I came to understand and believe there were other options in life

than the status quo of the herd mentality, this is especially true today. Those TV

shows and movies provided me with a type of inspiration, fascination, aspiration

and somewhat flawed information that I too, could ‘have it all’ or at least better

than what I had. Finding the remains of the sacrifices just confirmed to me that I

wasn't the only one who thought in such a way about magic, the occult and

things classified simply as the ‘unknown’.

My upbringing wasn’t religious in the slightest and almost no one else that I knew

was religious either, so basically there was nothing for me to compare Satanism

with. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t see it as a bad thing; I had no concept of what it

is to be truly evil (then again most people still don’t know either). There were

scripture lessons in high school once a week but it seemed to me that the

teachers (I don’t know whether they were clergy or not, maybe they were

trainees?) thought that using the same preaching methods from the church as

well as last Sundays' leftovers would work on a bunch of 12 year old boys who

were not there by choice.

It didn’t, it was the same in primary school.In high school the religious instructor (I

don’t know what he actually was) tried to come across as a friend rather than a

teacher, he looked like Grizzly Adams and had the same manner. I would guess

that he was a new wave Jesus freak, with his ‘friends’ approach as he would

sometimes add current events to his umm… I don’t know what I’d call it, maybe

preaching? As the year went on his ‘friends’ approach became more distant

almost to the stage it seemed that he had given up and didn’t want to be there. I

only had scripture classes in Year 7 and learned no scripture at all, was there a

point?

And in primary school? The reverend was neither teacher or friend and more like

a babysitter, for some reason the clergy/teachers just assumed that we were all

practicing Christians, in fact it was the complete opposite. In fact I still clearly

remember during a scripture class in fifth class when the reverend running the

Church of England lesson stood up in the front of the class to pray. As he was

saying his “Dear Lord we pray” thing while tightly closing his eyes and clasping

his hands, the rest of the class started to lift their arms up and down while

leaning backwards and forwards (sort of imitating Muslims but we didn’t know

what they were at the time) we were all going “ahhh.....” As well as “wahhh...”

And “ohhh...” The racket we made got him to open his eyes and exclaim “I’ve

never seen such a disgraceful performance before the Lord!!!”

Herein lies the problem, we were made to participate in scripture classes without

any knowledge as to who God was. We were told nothing about the Bible or its

importance, as for Jesus? Well who was that and what does he have to do with

anything? Anyway where was this ‘Lord’? He wasn’t in the classroom; he would

have been better off asking us to pray to Donald Duck because at least we knew

who he was.

Let's be honest folks, the various religions took their eye off the ball in the 70's

and this allowed various secular trends enough room to weasel their way into

schools, communities and society as a whole to target the young in general. Not

believing in God was not just a passing 'fad' anymore; it became ingrained in

'coolness' and continues to do so. One day at school someone from Gideons

came and gave all students from Year 7 a pocket Bible, to me it was weird as I

never read the Bible at all or even flicked through it. That was because I had

never held one with my own hands, or owned one for that matter.

I asked a classmate what was he going to do with his, he said he was going to

take his home. I asked him what should I do with mine as I didn't know how it

‘worked’. He just simply said I should take it home, he was quite sheepish and

low tone in saying this. As we both looked around we saw that the other students

had either thrown the Bibles in the bin, were playing soccer with them or else

were using them as frisbees. A couple of students were doing a “confiscation

patrol” and demanding that all Bibles were handed over to them, they

approached my classmate and reached for his shirt pocket where he had put his

copy, as he struggled with them I kicked the bin I was standing next to while

hiding my copy in my bag. My classmate had his copy taken and thrown into the

bin, they then asked me where was mine. I said I had already thrown mine away

in the bin, they looked in the bin (there must have been about 15 copies in there)

and were content to move on.

The classmate then went to the bin and retrieved a copy and wrote his name in it

in case it was thrown away again. He seemed to be somewhat upset about what

had happened, to me it was neither here or there. I had only hidden away my

copy because I wanted to know what was it about the Bible that they wanted it

destroyed. To me something such as sacrilege or blasphemy didn't come into it

because how can you be sacrilegious against a religion that you didn't

understand at all?

I remember when I was five years old and my parents placed me in a Sunday

school class, there were some other kids from my kindergarten class there and

none of us understood why we were there at all. We were given hymn books and

told to sing, which was a pretty dumb idea seeing as we couldn't basically read or

write (the ironic thing was that my kindergarten teacher played the piano for the

Sunday school). Apart from making “blah” noises we were for the most part

pretending to sing or miming. I was only in the Sunday school a couple of more

times, my guess is that my parents realised what a waste of time it was for me

and probably for them. Pretty soon the other kids parents seemed to be of the

same opinion, my ‘religion’ was Church of England or ‘CoE’ which most people of

the time supposedly adhered to. It is the easiest religion in the world to belong to,

you don't have to go to church or understand its tenets. It tried to mean

everything to everyone and ended up meaning nothing to no-one, as I

understand it now the situation about it has gotten worse.

In high school the few Christian students there were regarded as morons,

dweebs and dorks. Maybe there were quite a few of them, but if there were they

didn't choose to advertise it. I remember once in the school library some of us

were looking at books and someone took a Bible out of the shelf. A laughter

broke out and as we were giggling the kid who took the Bible opened it up and

said “It's only been borrowed once.” To which we all started laughing, another

grabbed another one from the shelf, opened it up and exclaimed “This hasn't

been borrowed at all!” This caused us all hysterical laughter.

What caused this contempt of the Bible and its teachings? I can't answer that, it

was nothing to do with my parents or the parents of any other kids for that matter

(or that which I know of). It was like a type of mob mentality in that its beginning

was unknown and it had no leaders (but it did have originators), these days the

term ‘groupthink’ might be applicable.

As I previously stated, my descent into Satanism was gradual. Contempt for God

plus adolescence is quite a disruptive combination; actually it was a TV show on

Nostradamus that kicked off my search for magic. To predict the future was

certainly captivating to me, the occult realm even more so. About this time “Lotto”

came around and I desired a better life and saw winning a prize as a ticket out of

the existence I was trapped in, to find a way to know the next draw of numbers

actually inspired me to think and act in ways I had never considered before.

The combination of dreams, poverty, contempt for a God that I knew nothing

about, coming across the animal sacrifices and Satanic graffiti, the prospect of

good times and more importantly the prospect of occult knowledge (yep, I still

love magic tricks) as well as the ‘buzz’ it gave me lead me to descend fully into

that choice. Stupid thing was that it was easier for me to scour books to find bits

and pieces about Satan and understand something about him than it was to find

a clergyman who could explain who God is.(I believe this was due to the ‘Jesus

is God’ teachings which really came full core among Christian churches in

Australia during the 70s. Previously most churches were content to push the

‘Jesus is son of God’ line. Clergy were essentially trying to lead the parishioners

from one belief to another, whether they believed it themselves…who knows?)

Ironically I found Satanism to be like the CoE religion that I supposedly was in

that you adhere to a few tenets and make up the rest according to your personal

circumstances. I always believed in magic despite being told repeatedly by all

manner of people that it was rubbish. Magic is like smoking in that if you do it you

are told that it's no good for you and it's stupid and just like smoking, people still

do it. I think if you are going to tell someone that something like magic is no good

for them, then you should be able to present an argument to back your view

based on your personal knowledge.

Giving tenth hand stories is just as bad as saying “it must be true because it was

in the paper!” or “because I said so!” To become a Satanist is not a matter of

waking up one morning and thinking “…mmmm….nothing much doing today,

might as well worship Satan.”

In my case it was a gradual process, everyday I related to it more and more. It

got to the stage where I couldn’t relate to an alternative simply because there

was none. In primary school we were told to pray in our scripture classes, as far

as I was concerned it was a matter of closing your eyes for a minute and saying

nothing and feeling nothing. When I prayed to Satan in the same type of manner

by corrupting the Lords’ Prayer it wasn’t something I felt that I just had to go

along with. I enjoyed doing it because I actually felt something.

My ‘Satanism’ consisted of praying to Satan, minor vandalism of churches,

amateur attempts at magic rituals and trying to recruit others. When I look back

at this time I almost cringe from embarrassment about what I did, and yet I have

to say that I was happy. One of my friends Spiro who I was trying to bring over

with me simply said “God loves you”.

No matter what I offered he wouldn’t shift, yet we talked about Satan and evil on

occasion, but I will never forget when he said those three words “God loves you”.

But Spiro came from a good Orthodox family; he had both his parents and a

sister. They weren’t overly religious and seemed to function like any other

‘normal’ family from what I understood. His father worked in a factory, his mother

was a ‘stay at home mum’ who occasionally worked on a casual basis. On

occasion when I visited his place it was clean but not obsessively clean, it had a

friendly atmosphere because of the family rather than the décor. You always felt

welcome.

My father worked ten or more hours a day, he had no choice and then had to be

both the father and mother of the abode, and it wasn’t much of an abode. I was a

‘latch key kid’ because of this; I don’t blame my father for anything in anyway he

simply did what he had to do. But some of the other guys I knew had it worse,

one guy had no idea who his father was and another had a father who was a

travelling salesman. And when he was on the road, his mother liked to practice

her ‘womens’ liberation’ by tucking him and his brother into bed at night and then

going out to pick up strangers for sex. She was so ‘liberated’ that she thought

nothing of bringing them back to the family home and didn’t seem to care that the

boys could hear or knew what was going on- yeah, a real class act.

So when Easter and Christmas came around and we were told about the ‘joy and

love of Jesus’ well what did you expect guys like us to do? He was only good for

chocolate eggs, presents and time off school. It didn’t seem that Jesus loved us.

Anyway that was then and this is now, let’s continue the story.

So as my ‘Satanism’ was gradually known by all the kids around the area I

started making contacts with others who were like me, or for the most part

were….kind of. Initially their idea of Satanism was smoking dope and committing

crime, and seemed to be basically a bunch of thugs and social rejects (I suppose

I came under the latter category) with no genuine interest in Satan except to use

him as a ‘bad boy’ symbol. It was the prospect of gaining esoteric knowledge that

drew me in with this crowd but they seemed to know less than what I did.

In fact I’m certain they never even considered the occult aspect to the degree

that I did. I wanted to be a magician not a criminal; in all honesty I probably would

have continued along the criminal route if I were to gain occult knowledge along

the way. Stealing was the number one sport where I was, mainly shoplifting as

most kids in the area never had any money at all. The more you stole, the higher

your bragging rights. Some did it for the thrill, others for the money or the lack of

it (again I was in the latter category).

As with most if not all teenagers I became part of a “confederacy of friends” or

‘association’ consisting of those I went to high school with, those I knew from

primary school, those from around the area I lived or hung out at and those of my

race or similar. I wouldn't say we were all friends, but associates of one sort or

another.

One of our hangouts was outside a church where there was a bus stop and a

hamburger shop next door. It was during one Saturday afternoon when a few of

us were hanging out that I had what seemed to me to be a curious conversation

with a guy of our creed. This guy was a bit older than me (about 18 I guess. I was

still 12) and I hadn't seen him before. He told me he was getting into politics and

asked me if I intended to. To me it was nothing; politics didn't mean anything to

me and I had no interest in government whatsoever. All I cared about at the time

was stealing, vandalism, dope and magic.

Although this brief conversation was really nothing, sometimes I wonder

whatever happened to this guy. Looking at the types of people in politics these

days that push the ‘secular’ line in relation to governance (especially education),

sometimes I wonder if this guy got to where he wanted. I only met him once and

yet I still remember that conversation. As I said talk about politics meant nothing

to me (and I was more worried that he was a donut puncher).

Satanism is like digging for gold, you dig a hole and find a bit so you keep on

digging. As you find more gold the further down you dig and the darker it gets.

When you get enough gold that you want, you then look up to see you’re so far

down you cannot see how you can get out. You are basically digging a hole to

hell and I wanted out of this situation, the more I tried to study the more I realised

how little I knew and how greatly out of my depth I was.

When I started I seriously had no idea as to the end destination or the journey

involved. The prospect of having to perform blood sacrifices and associating with

some seriously bad dudes in order to maintain my “religion” was not on as far as

I was concerned and I decided it was time to abandon ship. I remembered during

a relatively recent scripture class the teacher played a cassette of a woman

telling her story of how she became a Satanist and how she left. It wasn’t her

testimony that caused me to have doubt about what I was involved with.

No, it was when I saw some of the older boys from another “association” (gang

would be more correct) in their headbanger gear and traits that I had doubt. They

were something that I did not wish to become, even the guys of my age in

another group (we just called them the Belmore South guys) seemed to have

aged and looked like they were now 16 or 17. I didn’t especially care as to how or

why they were how they were, a friend said it was because they lived on junk

food and took hard drugs. But it was in their “section” of the canal that the

sacrifices occurred. Myself, I didn’t associate with the Belmore South guys. They

just weren’t the sort of guys I would hang out with; still I never had any problems

with them when I went onto their ‘turf.’

Sometimes I would bring friends with me up that section of canal without

problems and they would go back up there without me and again without

problems. However these friends were part of the “association” (though not

necessarily of the creed). There was one guy who while being a friend of a lot of

the guys in the association was never actually in it or considered of the “creed.”

One day he went up the canal by himself and ended up having the shit beaten

out of him, by his description of those bashed him it was more than likely the

Belmore South guys.

I remember this because of a strange occurrence on that day, it was a Saturday

and there were three of us who decided to go to the canal. Not for anything in

particular, anyway on the way there we decided to go to Hughes Park because

one of the guys had a friend whose younger brother was playing in a soccer

match there.

The canal ran alongside the park; so all seemed good in that we could go to the

match and see who came to the canal anyway. We went through Canterbury

South primary school (my old school) to cut through the reserve behind it, as we

did we saw a man (about late 20s to mid 30s) who was playing with two young

kids that I assumed to be his children on the cricket pitch. As we walked past he

said hello to us and we replied the usual “How’s it going.”

He then said to us “Are youse going to the soccer game?” I said yes we are, and

then one of the other guys said that his friends’ brother was playing. However it

was what the man said next that threw us. “Your friend was here about 20

minutes, half hour ago. He went up the canal.” At this point I assumed that one or

both of the other guys I was with knew him because I certainly didn’t.

The man gave a description of him and I had a picture in my head of who he

might have being describing, but seeing as I didn’t know this man I thought it was

someone whom I didn’t know either. All three of us looked at each other and

shrugged our shoulders; the man looked at us as if to say ‘are you saying you

don’t know who I’m talking about’?

As everyone took turns looking at each other in a quizzical manner, one of the

guys piped up and said “We gotta get going, see ya later.” We walked off for a bit

then one guy said to the other “Where do you know him from?” The reply was “I

don’t know him.” They then looked at me and all I could say was “No. I don’t

know him. I thought you did?” For a moment we again looked at each other in the

same quizzical manner, apart from maybe seeing him once or twice around the

area we certainly didn’t know him. We then tried to guess about who he was

describing, we took a couple of guesses as to who it might be but we hadn’t seen

those guys around the canal before. In the end we put it down that the man

mistook us for someone else. A few days later I was told about the bashing, the

description the man gave us was 100% spot on.

I suppose it was almost a case of curiosity almost killed the cat. He had no

reason to be there, or (as far as I could tell) knew anyone there. All I could put it

down to was that he heard about us going to that section of the canal and wanted

to see for himself what it was all about. Looking back on it there must have been

somebody who knew both groups and decided who was OK and who wasn’t.

There are a couple of guys who I suspect may have been ‘middle men’ but I can’t

say for certain. As for the man on the pitch? I only saw him around the area on

rare occasion – I never again spoke to him.

Then again I might be wrong altogether. I know that there were certain personal

beefs between guys before they started hanging out in the “association” but once

someone gave the thumbs up to someone and everyone agreed then those

beefs were forgotten. Maybe it was a peer thing; maybe it was a higher (or lower)

calling.

As for drugs? I knew fuck all about drugs, sure I sucked on the occasional bong

but I was never tempted to use heroin even though that seemed to be the new

trend. I just had no idea as to the long term consequences of drug use and didn’t

care for that matter. Had some chemical experiences such as taking some pill

which led me to have 5x vision and seeing the furniture walk down the road. Got

angel dusted a couple of times, but I had no recollection as to what I did (one of

the guys told me that I thought I was a spider and was trying to climb the wall).

Looking back at it I realise that I was a guinea pig, but it was kind of entertaining.

I knew some of the guys went for glue and solvents; it wasn’t my thing except as

a last option. Booze actually wasn’t all that popular from what I could make out.

Myself I didn’t really like the taste of beer, my preference was for the “Vok” range

of spirits. I had been introduced to them by the son of a family friend who was

about the same age as me. He mixed up Vok Amsterdam (red/orange colour)

with lemonade in milkshake cartons, tasted quite nice actually. It was what you

would expect from something in happy colours coming from pretty bottles.

Point being? Kids take notice of the parents’ actions, but my father was never

much of a drinker so neither was I. All I was really doing was riding a wave but

also getting lost in the current. As I said I was just out of my depth.

One night I had a vivid dream about being sent to hell for punishment. It went like

this: I was put on a slippery mud covered raft with the other condemned on a

fiery lava lake; the raft had a guard rail and on one corner stood an angel with a

barge pole. As the angel moved the raft into the lake I stooped down behind the

others and clung onto the rail behind everyone else, the condemned thrown into

the lake did not die, they simply burned and screamed.

Then came where I was the last ‘passenger’ on the raft, the angel then stood

again on a corner of the guard rail and used the barge pole to return the raft back

to the shore and pier. The angel then opened the gate in the rail, I just ran as far

as I could and into a dark tunnel. I have no other memory of what happened after

that, I just woke up the next morning as per usual albeit somewhat shaken. This

plus those three words my friend told me convinced me to jump and that I did.

The first thing I learned after doing this was “What Satan giveth, Satan taketh

away”. Not only did I lose my status as a ‘cool guy’ I also became a pariah and a

hated one at that. Still I didn’t regret it; I just assumed it was a type of punishment

or something. Yes I had ditched Satan but I didn’t go to God, not at first anyway.

After a while I thought that I would have to go to church to ‘make good’ with God.

But where to go? I had no idea, so I picked a church down the road from my

place only because it was closer and actually it was the church where we used to

meet up at. The people who went there were nice enough, but quite frankly I had

no idea what I was supposed to be doing there. It seemed like a type of weekend

detention for what I had done. I didn’t go there because I felt a need to be a

Christian; it was because I felt it was a necessary thing to do.

I was trying to live a Christian lifestyle even though I had no idea about theology

(or God for that matter) and was instead basing my conduct on stereotypes like

the dorky lay down and die Christian. I was to spend the next two years trying to

somehow ‘make up’ for what I had gotten myself into. I gave away the church

thing after about three months- I just didn’t get it. I tried to be a placid forgiving

person and got beaten up for it many times, the lesson I learned from that is if

you tolerate a tyrant - the more intolerable they become (or as someone told me

“The meek don’t inherit the earth – they get rubbed into it”).

Eventually I became a normal teenager, the turn the other cheek crap wasn’t for

me. Yes I believed in the existence of God but I couldn’t believe in a theology

that even the clergy had trouble explaining. As far as I was concerned I believed

in God and that was about it. That doesn’t mean that I had any form of faith or

dedication to God, my understanding of God was still as abstract as ever. I

accepted that there was a God, much in the way a deist would I suppose.

All up I was involved in Satanism for about 15 months, but I must say I didn't

regret being part of it. I suppose it was in part because I encountered other kids

in the “association” who came from circumstances similar to mine. Either their

parents were divorced, drunks, junkies, abusive or just didn't give a shit about

them. Some of them were being raised by their grandmothers because of these

circumstances; the image of saying grace at the family dinner table with ‘mum

and dad’ was completely alien to us. No doubt there were parents and relatives

who tried their utmost to look after us, my father held a job and did his best to

ensure I was taken care of. Still, when you saw how ‘normal’ families lived you

couldn't help but feel you were missing out on something.

These days being of divorced parents is no big deal, it wasn't always like that.

Some of us received some nasty words, not from other kids but from adults. I

remember one day I was walking to the shop with a friend when a man (who I

believe was an uncle of a kid at my primary school) stopped us and asked my

friend how his parents were. My friend said they were OK, the man then asked

me how mine were and then added “Your parents are divorced aren't they?” The

only answer I could say was yes, he then asked “Are you living with your father?”

Again yes, then came “Where is your mother?” Simple answer -I don't know, as

soon as I said that frustration showed on his face. No doubt he was one of these

losers who thinks that divorced women are an easy root and realised he would

have to spend another night with his rubber doll. He then told me that because

my parents were divorced that I was a bastard and that nothing good would ever

come from me. He was someone that you would associate with being an “upright

member of the community.” Nice introduction into the dynamics of male-female

sexual liaisons for a ten year old wasn't it? Oh well, wasn't I just living up to

others expectations by becoming a Satanist? Satan doesn't have to go out

recruiting kids; shitbags like that loser do it for him.

For the next few years nothing regarding the occult happened to me and nor did I

seek it out. Though on occasion I would have some of the younger kids who

remembered me from the church hangout come and ask me to teach them about

Satan. They too were now about 12, the same age as I was when I first started.

All I would simply tell them was not to bother about Satan and that it was a waste

of time. When I gave it up I vowed never to repeat the prayers I had used to

anyone else, lest they began to use them. On occasion I would sometimes

wonder if what I had been doing was unique to me or the others in the group,

seeing as there were others doing the same thing at the age we were when we

were doing it.

Even though I had left the “association” or more correctly distanced myself from

it, (it never was a formal group or gang structure) I would occasionally bump into

guys that I knew from those days. There was no animosity and we would talk

about who's at the hangout and what's happening. Funny thing was that I

essentially became too scared to venture into the Belmore South section of the

canal by myself, whereas before to do so was no problem. I was worried that the

guys there might try to make me participate in a sacrifice or ritual. But it was as

though I lost a set of armour when I left Satanism, a sense of bravado if you like.

I just had no idea how to replace it or what to replace it with. I tried being a

skinhead, punk and nihilist; all of these were short term fads for the most part.

Much like other teenagers I was trying to figure out what I was and where I fitted

in society. Anyway much like any other loose group things change, people move

away or else drift off. A couple of the guys either died from drugs or ended up in

the clink from what I heard, sometimes I would go to the hangout just to see who

was there. It was now 1986, so it had been four years since I jumped ship. By

now there was only the occasional face I recognised and the rest were

completely new to me. From what I understood the Satanism thing had more or

less died out, or at least so I thought.

One day I was taking a walk down the road with a guy I knew from my primary

school days when we came across another guy from our primary school days, he

in turn was waiting for another guy who was also from our primary school days. I

asked him “What was he up to?” He told me that he and the other guy were

going to Rookwood Cemetery to “chop the heads off some dogs.” I didn't know

what to say, so I just said goodbye and walked off. In one way I was surprised

that he and the other guy were not only still practicing Satanism but also

“improving” (for want of a better word) their practice of it. But in another way I

wasn't, probably because I had some unresolved issues about my spirituality and

indeed my identity.

The only other “association” that I was involved with was a type of gang which

was simply known as the A.S.P.O. It was a race based gang that was formed out

of necessity because of the attacks on “skips” (Australians or those who

identified themselves as such) by wog gangs. It was only formed by a few guys

because we were unable to join (or unwanted) by another gang of sorts known

as AWARF. We were always small in number; the gang only had about ten

members at its peak so we were pretty much reduced to graffiti. We just didn’t

have the manpower to fight gangs that were double our size, so I decided (and

still think) that brains defeats brawn. What we did was to find out the addresses

of individual rival gang members and attack their houses in the middle of the

night. The tactic worked and still does as can be seen by other gang wars where

this is also used. For us it gave us a ‘name’ and even a degree of respect by our

rivals.

The point being? Well it wasn’t about being calculating that I learned from this

period; the lesson I got slapped in the face with came by accident but probably

better described as coincidence. One night me and some of the guys decided to

go into the city and hang around a bit, when we went onto the platform at St.

James station to get the train home we encountered one of the rival wog gangs.

And a wog gang they were, they were Lebs and really, really hated skips. But

what stunned me the most was one of their group was a guy me and another

knew from our primary school days. Not only was he a skip, he was also a

member of AWARF! In addition I remember seeing that guy getting a beating

from that same gang. On the platform they were content to keep to themselves

and we didn’t want to force the issue. Still when we got on the train I kept thinking

to myself “what the hell is that guy doing?”

Not long afterwards I was told that drug dealing was more important than race,

their ‘reconciliation’ was nothing to do with the kumbayah singing, oneness of

humanity. Nope, it was due to common greed and easy money. On the surface

they maintained their known and public image, but behind the scenes it was

make deals to make money regardless of who gets hurt in the process. People

were joining up to serve one cause on behalf of the very many but were being

used to serve a cause on behalf of the very few; just like modern politics really.

A.S.P.O. only lasted about a year, guys either moved away or else moved on

and internal bickering and beefs finally killed it off. The lesson I learned from all

this was duplicity.

Fast forward to mid 1988 - by now I have a job, my father has a defacto and all

three of us are living together in Wiley Park a bit to the west of Canterbury. The

days of bumping into people in Canterbury (Campsie South or whatever it's

called these days) are well and truly over. There were a couple of guys from

school days living in the area, but everyone else that I considered a friend has

moved out and moved on. My spare time is spent looking around bookstores,

watching TV or occasionally hanging out with potheads, there was no sense of

community there as everything is pretty much divided among racial lines.

I didn't know what to make of my life, I just assumed getting wasted on weekends

was the ‘normal’ thing that adults do and it doesn't seem that anything has

changed today. One day I was browsing in a bookstore when I saw a book called

“The Book of the Sacred Magic of Abra-Melin the Mage”[1]. After a flick through it

and seeing the magic square diagrams my eyes opened up so I bought it. This

was the first genuine occult book I ever bought or even held. Upon returning

home I tried to read it as fast as I could, the book is both a story and an

instruction manual. If you haven’t read it I would recommend it, the story of

Abraham the Jew is worth the price of it alone.

However at the time I got impatient with the story and went for the magic section,

it was truly fascinating to me compared with the hotchpotch of folk tales I had

been basing my magic on before. It introduced me to the concept that there was

a science behind magic, yet I didn’t understand how or why it worked. I was more

interested in shortcutting the preparation part in order to get instant results, after

not being able to fully comprehend the book; I put it away and left it for a while.

I was soon to turn 20 by this time and things were more or less going okay for

me, yes I tried the usual things that men do at that age like check out hotted up

cars and hit the nightclubs and other things. Myself, I just didn’t find it as good as

other guys did and more or less found it pointless and shallow. It was depth I

wanted and this wasn’t coming to me by the things I was doing. I gradually drifted

from the guys I was hanging out with; spending my spare time smoking hash and

bullshit talk was something I just wasn’t prepared to put up with anymore and

wasters don’t make good or trustworthy friends.

Although I didn’t regret leaving Satanism I must confess that I was left with a

sense of emptiness. As I said it did seem like I lost my armour, but it also left a

void within me. Maybe you could say something was missing from my psyche

and I hadn’t replaced it. Sub-cultures such as skins, punks, yuppies, whatever,

are trends. They might be lifestyles but to put them in the same category as

religions such as Satanism is plain wrong. Religions require a sense of devotion,

sub-cultures by themselves do not.

If this world was as good as it got, then I wanted another world. Magic was that

other world, or at least the study of it. I was told about an occult bookstore so I

went around there to see what they were selling. Most of the stuff wasn’t really to

do with hardcore magic and the books that did were for the most part over my

head. However I did find a book that dealt with basic spells and the mythology

behind them, it was called “The Complete Book of Spells, Ceremonies and

Magic”[2]. It at least gave me a basic understanding in regards to magic. I bought

it because it was easy to read and digest unlike other books that assume you

already have some sort of prior knowledge about the subject. Soon I realised it

was not the magic per se that I was seeking but another world and its

inhabitants. To study is one thing - to experience is another. I wanted to seek out

angels, demons and other spirits because I really wanted to be shocked and

amazed.

Not only did I want that, but I wanted it now. I couldn't find any "proper"

instruction or even dialogue from the ‘proper sources’ such as the church or

anything similar, so I called up an old friend – his name is Satan.

It was in the late afternoon on a Saturday towards the end of 1988 just as dusk

settled. I had the house to myself, facing the west I lit the candle and bowed in

submission to recite the oath to Satan. For the past 12 months I was gradually

slipping into this out of a sense of ‘needing completion’. By now I had become a

headbanger into Satanic metal, as much as I told myself I wouldn’t worship Satan

again and for as much as I remembered that I did not want to become like the

guys from Belmore South - I fell in again. The circumstances and gradualness

led me to that path and everything clicked. The jigsaw pieces had seemed to fall

in place and I was seduced. This time it was my informed decision and I knew

what I was doing.

[1 ]The Book of the Sacred Magic of Abra-Melin the Mage by S.L. Mac Gregor-

Mathers published by The Antiquarian Press ISBN 0850302552

[2] The Complete Book of Spells, Ceremonies and Magic by Migene Gonzalez-

Wippler published by Llewellyn Publications ISBN 0875422861

Chapter 2

Although some people become fanatical when they change or adopt a new faith,

(I believe the phrase is: “none as fervent as the newly converted”) myself I never

felt the need to try and batter others into converting to what I thought was

beneficial to them. As far as I was concerned I was a Satanist and no different to

anyone else in other regards. Returning to Satanism didn't make me an alpha

male or an “A” grade persona nor did I wish to adopt such a personality. I had no

need to ostentatiously display my faith nor try out magic spells at every given

moment. Sure I would look for information to broaden my horizons in regard to

Satanism and the occult in general but for the most part I was happy in the skin I

was in.

The next year would pretty much sail by, if you are expecting tales about cutting

babies heads off and other crap that you've seen on TV you are certain to be

disappointed. Apart from getting into the black metal scene and occasionally

wearing Satanic type jewellery there was nothing that I publicly displayed to show

my faith. There were people who guessed what I was into, but for the most part

people didn't or simply refused to believe rumours about me. If I was asked by

someone if I worshipped Satan I would simply answer “I don't worship God. I

suppose you would call me an atheist.” It is really a matter of semantics

depending on who asks that question and how you wish to answer it, don't worry

I'll fill you in on it later on.

My Satanist belief was solitary, there were no temples, lodges, covens etc. as

you might imagine. Satanism is very individualistic in the sense that you are

responsible for following your own path, it is no ones responsibility but your own.

The black metal scene was a type of commonality if you were looking for

company, if you were into Slayer, Mortal Sin, Venom or King Diamond you would

know where to look. It was a case of follow the graffiti and see what happens,

much like in the canal. As for the Belmore South guys? I have no idea what

happened to them.

Those bands had a cult following among Satanists in the mid to late eighties

before they became more ‘mainstream’. Although most fans were simply into the

music and culture of black metal you could always find “someone who knew

someone who knew someone”. The places to “hang out” were the Villawood

shops and Monier Square at the Leightonfield train station. Most serious occult

practitioners prefer to work alone or with people of reasonable knowledge and

similar style. Having people who might cast or be in a state of doubt regarding a

ritual is simply too disruptive. Also remember that in '88/'89 being known as an

occult practitioner made you to be the local kook, being a Satanist did that even

more so.

The few serious guys I did meet had their own thing going, whilst I was still in the

process of learning various aspects of magic ritual. While I was somewhat

content just to listen to music and hang out to chit chat about everything from the

serious to the mundane, I knew that I had to step up to the plate and get serious.

I found there were ways to ‘improve’ rituals by taking bits and pieces from other

mythologies such as the various pagan beliefs for example. Satanism is scalable;

you can add pagan entities and rituals as you wish so long as the first hommage

is paid to the Satan. Actually Satanism is more polytheistic than monotheistic;

Satan is a title and not the name of a specific entity. Lucifer is the current “Satan”

just as Elizabeth Windsor is the current Queen, just as Francis or whatever the

Argies name is the current Pope. My favourite satanic prince was Leviathan,

there wasn't a contradiction. Does preferring Prince Charles as your favourite

royal mean you are disloyal to the Queen or monarchy?

I would also join the Rosicrucians (AMORC) later on, hoping to find some sort of

direction I suppose. The branch I joined gave information by correspondence, it

indeed was useful in understanding the principles of metaphysics, and still it was

not what I really yearned for as I was seeking my own “style” and in all honesty

just didn’t have the self discipline required. I might have continued along the

Rosicrucian path except for a split between the Imperator and the AMORC

board, and not knowing who was in the right or wrong I just decided to make my

own way.

I had studied, I had learned, I was about to turn 21 and I knew it was time to

“man up”, get the ball rolling and get serious to fulfil my religion and my vow.

All the knowledge in the world doesn’t mean anything unless you have a

purpose, or at least a sense of purpose. With Satan I had that purpose. The

intent to serve evil is indeed a powerful motivation, most people associate evil

with the likes of committing crimes and the like against other people. This is not

what Satan's’ evil is about. With the likes of perverts and killers their motivation is

personal gratification and criminal gain instead of a long-term objective beyond

this lifetime. When you sign up with Satan you find yourself in a personal war

with Jehovah (the God of Abraham), you are essentially making yourself an

equal to him. Once you take this step if anything in your world once seemed

mundane it will doubly be so now.

I’ll give you this poor analogy; we all know that gay men are more likely to get

HIV/AIDS from their sexual activities than anyone else. If you go into the subculture

of anonymous sex in public toilets the risk increases and if you bareback

in that environment then the risk dramatically increases. Yet for the participants

of such activities the adrenaline rush before and during the encounter would be

amazing due to the combined pleasure and fear factor. The next step of the

encounter is more dramatic, that being the HIV test. The anticipation, doubt and

fear would be consuming until the result arrives, if the result is negative the

participant would (I imagine) gain such relief, joy and I suppose a sense of

immortality. To walk away uninfected despite all those risk factors and seemingly

gain an edge over the laws of mathematics would boost your ego indeed. The

only other things I could compare serving the “cause” of Satan with are extreme

sports or betting all of your possessions on the turn of a card.

Now any of the above hazardous activities can result in ruination of the

participant, but the consequences of that participation doesn’t necessarily extend

into the hereafter. That’s the big difference with disciples of Satan; failure on this

earth could mean eternal ruination. Once you’ve left this world that’s it, there’s no

second chance to fight on. You have to hope that those other disciples still alive

can achieve the job that you didn’t. Gays, gamblers and daredevils always have

hope of a second chance (even though they might not ever get it). They are

hoping to stay alive long enough until a natural death takes them and then it’s all

over.

Satanists don’t get the hope of that chance, not only are you up against a natural

death at the very least you are also up against a timeline because you don’t

know if or when Jehovah is going to pull the plug on humanity or even if he

specifically intends to pull the plug on you. This is why Satanists are so steadfast

and uncompromising; actually there isn't much to compromise. As long as you

hold Lucifer as the Satan, or at the very least swear your first loyalty to the Satan

then you basically are free to do as you wish as long as it serves the greater

good of the Satan.

So what is Satans’ evil? Well it is to bring about the reversal of order or more

correctly to hijack it, a coup if you like. Make the Satan (Lucifer) into the God

(Jehovah), thus if done then Jehovah becomes the Satan and Lucifer becomes

the God – this is the reversal of order. Or a ‘new order’ if you like and this

pertains to creation and animation or ‘under new management’.

You may think that Satanists have no interest in the religious communities and

orders that are part of any religious denomination, or at least are indifferent to

them. If you did think that you would be wrong, on a number of occasions I

seriously contemplated enlisting in a seminary to become a priest. There is a

Catholic magazine called “Annals” which carries ads and notices for the various

orders. I regularly bought this magazine to get an insight into my opposition and

see what opportunities were available where I could insert myself, and a trainee

priest was one of them. Why not? It is a perfect job, you get fed, housed, trained

in scripture, access to churches and sanctums (which you can use for rituals)

along with consecrated wine, wafers and religious “tools”. After the training you

not only can do the consecrating yourself, you also get a parish

(Darlinghurst/Kings Cross was my target) in which you can slowly insert your

beliefs and preach to the parishioners. Either corrupt their beliefs or drive them

away, heads you win and tails they lose.

What actually stopped me was that I was not a Catholic and had no idea as to

their rituals and practices; going to a Catholic church to learn these things was

not an option. It was something I just couldn't bring myself to do, if I was

instructed to praise God or praise Jesus I think my head would have spun around

like a top. But what if I did? Let's be frank about the issue of pedophile priests,

the issue of child abuse isn't something that occurred just a few years ago. No,

this has been happening for nearly a century that I know of. Cases can be traced

back to the 1920s and have occurred across various countries at various times,

almost to an extent that one could say they were co-ordinated or at least had

common factors. Remember there was no internet, mail between countries

sometimes took months and phones weren't in every building, if the abuse had a

co-ordinator of sorts then he would have been high up. I'm not saying that the

pedophile priests were Satanists as I have no proof of this, but if you were to ask

me would I have done such things? I can't honestly say yes or no, it would

depend on the circumstances at the time. All I could really say is that I was

obliged to serve the greater good for Satan regardless of how wicked, perverted

and distasteful those tasks might have been.

The purpose is all consuming, at the end of January 1990 I finished up at the job

I was at but I knew this was coming.

It had been a while since I had a holiday or a reasonable amount of spare time,

so I went on a “library safari” looking for new knowledge. For the most part I

didn't find very much, but I would find a reference or sentence that would lead

elsewhere. After about a month I got another job, it wasn't one that I particularly

liked but it was stable. I suppose I was financially secure but my life was like that

of a treadmill, but I had the sense of purpose I could aspire to great things, not to

do with money or anything like that. It was the possibility of experiencing and

thriving in the realm of eternal success, a type of transcendence if you like.

Unless you’ve been in a similar situation it’s hard to describe, maybe a

comparison would be when Edmund Hillary conquered Mount Everest. From

mountaineer to Sir, he is in a way immortal because he will never be forgotten.

No matter who does the same thing Mount Everest will always be synonymous

with Sir Edmund Hillary. As long as Mount Everest remains on this earth so will

he, it wasn’t fame I was looking for but the feeling. Can you imagine what it would

have been like to be him when he reached the top? No amount of money could

ever buy that and in a way money becomes irrelevant to your world.

He risked his life; he put everything up on wager. There was no guarantee that

he would make it to the top, or even survive the ascent. You can also say that

there was no guarantee that he would survive the descent. No doubt he knew the

odds of success and failure; still he went ahead and made it to the top of the

world. He lived for that moment and captured it; even if he died on the way down

he still captured it. I think there is a difference between living for the moment and

living for a moment. Once you have captured that moment then it is yours forever

and nothing can take it from you.

I was taking too much time from my job in order to scour libraries everywhere for

all bits and pieces of information I could find in order to serve Satan. So I just

quit, now some people would say “Why did you quit your job? Why would you do

something stupid like that?” I’m not one of those people who bases his whole

existence on a “job”. To me to exist only for a lousy job that consumes your entire

life is pointless, and quite frankly pathetic. It limits your aspirations to transcend

this world, you essentially become a robot. Why would I want a job when I had a

quest? The game was on and I had put everything up for wager, the stage had

finally come where I could no longer be a “weekend Satanist” it was as simple as

that.

With my now “job” so to speak I was able to expand my knowledge and study so

as to increase my understanding about the more rudimentary aspects of magic.

Actually there is no such thing as “Satanic magic”, all Satanic magic really is the

perversions of other occult practices both Abrahamic and pagan. Essentially I

was nothing but a sorcerer, yes I could perform magic but I had no real

understanding of how it worked because I had no “system” to adhere to or use as

reference. Nevertheless it did work, again I just had basic aims and I reached

those targets. Time passed by and towards the mid part of 1990 I moved out of

home and into a hotel which gave me some privacy (would you tell your father

what you did if you were me?). From there I could study uninterrupted and as I

did my knowledge and understanding increased, but without a system of applying

that knowledge and understanding I was still floating around in relation to my

occult practices. Funny thing was that when I first moved in I wanted my own

room; this hotel had options of either share with someone or have your own

room. It was more a boarding house rather than a hotel, and at the time there

wasn’t any single rooms available.

So until one did become available I had to share a room with a guy who turned

out to be a former Catholic priest, indeed it was interesting and something I

would never have expected to occur. I found out one afternoon while I was on the

bed reading an occult book (about three days after I moved in) when he came in

the room and saw me. I naturally assumed that he wouldn’t ask about what I was

reading and if he did, he wouldn’t understand or care for that matter. Anyway he

asked, all I told him that it was a book about the occult. He then told me that the

occult was dangerous and then asked “Want to know how I know?” He then went

to a wardrobe on his side of the room and took out a photo album, opened it up

and handed it to me. For a split second I thought that I had come upon a fellow

Satanist or someone who was into the occult as well. Needless to say he wasn’t,

the photos were of him in his priest attire at various churches.

To say I was surprised was an understatement, I was bewildered if anything and

unsure what to do. However after talking to him about his priest life I was actually

quite OK with him, he had left the church quite sometime ago to get married. The

marriage didn’t work out and was staying in the hotel to save money and set

himself up for retirement.

Yes I can imagine a sitcom coming from a situation like that but the next day a

single room became available and so I moved out. Nevertheless I kept on good

terms with him while I was there, I never told him about me being a Satanist and

as one I never felt the need to be malevolent towards him. The information that

he told me about his experiences in the church (from his perspective) in a way

made me glad I never joined up to be a priest.

I was 21 years old by this stage and a few of the other guys at the hotel were my

age or a little older. So we had nights out, parties etc. But now I was enjoying

these sorts of activities whereas before I didn’t because I saw them as empty and

pointless so I hadn't bothered with these things for a while. Being a Satanist

seemed to give me a type of depth that I didn’t possess before in the period

between leaving the first time and rejoining the second. The party lifestyle and

Satanist belief seemed to complement each other well.

Life continued on with my quest, in due time others began to question me about

my beliefs. It wasn’t as though I was proclaiming my Satanism for all to hear, let’s

be honest everyone has at least questioned the “bigger picture” of existence.

People talk in a round about way about magic and the like, sort of like

pornography in being that everyone will look at it but no-one wants to admit it or

be caught doing it. As there were these sorts of conversations from time to time

at the hotel I would have probably seemed more knowledgeable and outspoken

on these sorts of subjects. Eventually people would come to conclusions or

assumptions that I was a Satanist or an occultist of some sort, something which I

did not either confirm or deny. Word spread eventually from the hotel to other

places I socialised in and for a while it seemed it was like school days again.

I was both cool guy and kook; however what I did find was that people would

knock on my door at what seemed random times to want to speak to me about

occult matters. It wasn’t as though these people wanted to convert to Satanism, it

was just that they had questions that they couldn’t get answers for. Although I

was somewhat apprehensive at first, in the end I came to enjoy their questions. It

allowed me to explain not only to them, but also to myself what it was both of us

were seeking. Sure I tried to bring them around to my belief but I was just as

content to have them go exploring for themselves, it was just part of the quest I

think all of us have at one stage of life or another.

1990 was drawing to its' close, to me life was going along fine. What was 1991

going to bring me? I didn't contemplate or plan that far ahead, it was never a

priority of mine to make timetables or set deadlines for myself. To me it was a

case of “what happens - happens.” While people try to plan out their lives ahead,

I never felt the need to do so. I suppose I just never contemplated consequences

and just left everything to ‘chance’ (destiny?), things such as career, getting

married and planning a family etc. just had no resonance with me because I

really believed that these things would come into play as I needed instead of as

others wanted.

If you look at the aspirations of others you tend to see a replicating pattern of “get

a job, get married, have kids...” and when those kids grow up the cycle repeats.

From being creations of God with unique intellects we have somewhat devolved

into being farm animals who seem to do nothing but eat, sleep, shit and fuck.

Well I noticed this at that time and was determined not to go down that path; it

isn't as though I have anything against marriage or kids it's just that I know that

humans can live better than the fate that faceless bureaucrats and an apathetic

society would provide us.

Actually you'll find that Satanists refer to non spiritually inclined people as the

“herd” (this is sort of like the term ‘nigger.’ It can be used by Satanists to refer to

everyday saps and themselves. Like the term nigger has different meanings and

contexts when used by niggers and non-niggers), and it is true especially in

Western nations. Money is king and the herd will do anything for it, this is

because we no longer live in communities but economies.

Anyway as 1991 kicked off, my life was more or less in cruise control. I really had

nothing to complain about, the only thing that pissed me off was that because of

the recession my party buddies didn't go out as much as I did. To me party time

could be any given time depending if I felt like it, I could go out and find

something happening at some pub, club or someones house or sometimes even

a strangers house. I suppose I was a novelty that people wanted around them,

just like a good luck charm. There were always free drugs around at these

places, at least free to me. It wasn't as though that drug dealers were trying to

hook me as a new client, it was always a case of “help yourself, have a snort”.

The same with money for partying, the thing that would strike me now and again

was that I could party and drink all night and hardly open my wallet. Even then it

was only to buy my buddies something to eat when we were out or give them a

few bucks when they spent all their money so as to party on. Sometimes I would

come home with more than what I went out with, one of the guys said “your ol'

mate Satan looks after you” and I suppose he did. I couldn't come up with a

logical explanation of how these things happened, in the end I just didn't think

about it because although it could be put down to a series of random

coincidences, I didn't believe that it was.

If you were to buy a pair of pants and find that every time you put your hand in

your pocket you would pull out a $100 dollar note, what would you do? Would

you tear the pants apart looking for the source of the money? Or would you just

be content to pull out $100 dollar notes one at a time and not question it at all?

I'm not saying this happened to me, but I took the latter option of not questioning

and just accepting it. I suppose another question of that type would be if you

drove your car for a year without having to fill up your tank, would you honestly

take your car apart just to satisfy your curiosity and possibly risk causing it to

stop?

So was it a case of being wasted everyday? No, I certainly didn't see it that way. I

didn't consider myself to be an addict of any drugs. I liked to smoke a packet of

Winfield Red a day and that was about all, as for anything else I didn't crawl

through sewers to get a high because I didn't need to. I never felt anything like

withdrawal pains, freakout, whatever because there was always a line or toke

available if I wanted it. Even if I didn't use any drugs for a day or two, it wouldn't

worry me. I just liked the feeling of a high much like everyone else I suppose, but

I didn't need it like an addict does. It just complemented my lifestyle; my life kind

of resembled one of those teenage dominated soaps where it seems that

everything is too good to be true. It wasn't exactly that, but it was better than

most other peoples' and all I had to do was honour Satan in prayer and deed.

Much like a preacher really.

Life did indeed to seem like a continuous party with good times and leisure all

around. Was it too much of a distraction from my service to Satan? I wouldn’t say

so; maybe trashing myself was part of that service. When it came to ritual it was

a matter of “getting down to business”. I could be doped up so as to be on

another planet but when I knew that the stars or moon phases were opportune

for a ritual it would become a case of instant sobriety for me. It wasn’t a matter of

making up shit on the spot, there was planning to do such as what was the aim,

where it was going to be held at, timing, who was coming and how it was to be

carried out. Much like an events organiser or indeed a preacher, although it might

appear easy to one who hasn’t done it before it definitely isn’t. Remember you

are doing it for the boss, the one who you have given yourself over to and is not

renowned for his tolerance or patience. So yes I was serving Satan, but as to if I

was serving myself and my original aim to gain occult knowledge and power from

it? In all honesty? Probably not.

One day I went to a “new age” exhibition just to see what was happening. I found

a lot of the stalls there to be inane or peddling outright bullshit. There was one

stall selling books so I took a look and saw a book called “Simplified Magic- A

Beginners Guide To The New Age Qabala”[3]. I had heard of kabbalah before in

other books I had read, but the description seemed somewhat abstract. This

book was pretty easy to read and understand so I forked over the ten bucks for it.

As I was walking around I noticed that a lot of the people at the exhibition were

about twice my age and some were older. What you have to remember is that I’m

22 years old living in Sydney, Australia in 1991, there was no internet and

genuine “hardcore” occult books are still very hard to find.

Moving from stall to stall speaking in general chit-chat to the stall holders and

visitors in general, I realised that they barely knew any more than what I did (if at

all), and in a lot of cases it was even less. I found that a lot of people didn’t really

have an understanding of what they were seeking; they were seeking an answer

but didn’t comprehend the question. They were left in a state of doubt and this is

why these people fall for the snake oil sellers of the ‘new age’ movement.

So I returned back to the hotel with my book looking at what I can get from it in

order to serve Satan. Well if you are going to be evil you might as well be good at

it. The thing was now I had a book that described the

science/philosophy/theology behind a system, something that I never really had

before (or one that I could largely comprehend). A system provides an

explanation as to why things work; you practice magic by a system. I never was a

magician I was a sorcerer.

Yes I could practice rituals to obtain magical results, but I never knew or

understood how it worked. Magic is kind of like algebra, at first you have no idea

how the result came about but once you understand the formula then everything

falls in to place. What I was doing with Satanism was that I was altering the

formula in order to obtain the result and the math behind it was flawed.

Essentially I was using a cheat sheet and that cheat sheet belonged to Satan

and the answers weren't even his. Nothing that I accomplished actually came

from my own work (or his for that matter) and I was using rituals that were

plagiarised from other plagiarisms.

The more I read the more I understood kabbalah and how it works, and indeed

how all magic works and the components involved. Until that time the only

“science” I had used was to cherry pick some aspects of the Goetia and apply

them in a haphazard way. More and more I came to doubt my faith in Satanism,

slowly and quite reluctantly realised that my faith in Satan and his occult

practices and indeed his “power” were based on lies, self deceit and

assumptions.

Once again I realised how out of my depth I was. It was not Satan that I wished

to serve; in fact I would say that I did not wish to serve anyone but myself. I did

acknowledge kabbalah as a superior practice of magic and that Satanism was

more of a creed than a type of mysticism. In kabbalah I learned of the four planes

of existence as well as the tree of life and death of the knowledge of good and

evil (or just commonly called the tree of life) and the sephiroth. The thing is you

could only practice kabbalah if you are a servant of the God of Abraham -

Jehovah, but being a declared enemy of God made kabbalah off-limits to me. It

isn't a matter of jumping from one master to another, it's not that easy. To do so

makes you a mercenary of sorts and no-one shows mercenaries any goodwill.

So I was just stagnant, stuck in a period of doubt that was consuming me slowly

but surely.

But the fact was that I was once again in a situation that I was in previously. I

wanted out, but this time I didn’t know if it was possible. To join Satan as a punk

kid and leave was one thing, to do it again as an adult was something else I

suppose. It was the thrill of the magic I wanted –not Jehovah. So not only did I

bet everything on the turn of a card, now I was trying to change that bet against

the turn. History repeated itself again as I bailed out on the evil one. My life was

slowly but surely going down the toilet, it was just a matter of when and how far

down would I go.

Really I was in a stupor of sorts losing all track of time and wondering where

reality begins and ends, from that I completely neglected all aspects of my day to

day life. In addition as I had no long term plans there was nothing for me to fall

back on. Still I continued with the magic, using my various bits of knowledge I

made my own “middle pillar” ritual. It was a case of “double or nothing!” either I

would succeed or die or else go crazy, I would win either way because anything

would be better than the situation that I was in. I’ll never forget that ritual, imagine

combining ecstasy and crank together and using it for the first time. Or drinking

about five caffeine energy drinks at once, you literally feel like you can fly and

just like any drug you can’t wait for the next hit. As opposed to satanic rituals that

leave you with a dull, sleepy, seduced and ‘stoned’ feeling.

Consumed by magic, abandoning Satan, ignoring Jehovah and devoid of hope,

the concept of a future just didn’t come in the scheme of things in regards to my

existence. I was in a situation where I just didn’t know what to do and was merely

waiting to see how things would pan out. Instead of gaining independence, here I

was in a position where I was just a passenger unable to act in whatever events

and scenarios affected my life.

I chose the song “Losing my religion” as a theme for this part of my life, it wasn’t

a matter of just losing my religion – I had lost it entirely. Some might say that I

should of ‘returned to Christianity’, but I had never been a Christian. The only

‘religion’ that I ever had was Satanism, with most people who face adversity they

can say “Well at least I can rely on God, I’ve got my faith.” I didn’t have that; not

only was I disconnected from both God and Satan, I couldn’t even become an

atheist because I didn’t even have faith in myself.

Maybe you’ve had this feeling too; the difference I suppose was that I knew why

this was happening. Payback time was inevitable; the road to reconciliation with

Jehovah was inevitable (though the only thing that really stopped me was shame

and I didn't actually know if I could be forgiven). As I packed my suitcase and

sneaked out of the hotel in the middle of the night leaving unpaid bills I knew

things were going to change dramatically. At 3 am as I used my suitcase as a

mattress in the car park of the Ashfield swimming pool, well then I knew they

had.

[3] Simplified Magic- A Beginners Guide To The New Age Qabala by Ted

Andrews published by Llewellyn Publications, Inc. ISBN 087542015X

Chapter 3

It was 6.30 am when I woke up, my back ached and cars were starting to pull up

in the car park. I didn't know if they had come to use the pool or were on their

way to somewhere else. A few people walked past me as though I wasn't there, it

didn't dawn on me why. Some glanced at me sideways when they got out of their

cars, was it because I was loitering in a car park? Was it because of the

particular time they saw me? Slowly I began to realise it was because of what I

now was, even though it didn't sink in at first. I was now a bum.

Picking up my suitcase I wandered off not knowing what to do, in the end I

decided I wanted to get some sleep and moved between various benches on

nature strips and the like. No-one actually disturbed me but after a while in one

place you do get self conscious knowing people look at you as they go past. All I

wanted that day was to have a wall between me and the world so I could lie

down and think without interruption. Then I could ponder...."What am I and what

happened?" Although the cause of my situation was spiritual, it was my physical

being that would suffer because I was in a mental neverworld. I went into a

“survival mode” as my intellectual faculties were in a type of suspended

animation. I've never been a big eater so the food that I found in bins was

enough to keep me going (tip: school garbage bins are a decent source of fruit

and sandwiches).

Although I feared drug withdrawal pains, thankfully I never had them. There were

times I wish that I had a bottle of cheap wine, not so much to dull out the fact I

was living on the street. It was the time that was the dreadful thing to endure.

One minute might as well be one hour and one hour might as well be one day. In

the end I only used two ways to measure time - day and night. Being bored was

something that got to you, so one day I decided to go to the local library just for

something to do. It was just over a mile from the park I was sleeping at, so I

started walking but I don't even think I made a mile when I had to lie down on a

brick fence physically exhausted. Now that there was no "afternoon speed" for

me I began to feel the lack of energy in my body.

From there I looked down at my feet and could only see the tips of my toes, to

my horror I realised what a bloated toad I had become. Not only was I a wreck

spiritually but physically as well, when you're stoned you become oblivious to the

state you're in. I had been on the street for fours days now and I was hoping that

I had slipped into some parallel universe and that I would slip out of it and return

back to a happy situation where everything was fine and OK. But it wasn't ever

going to be, there was just no hope in my life on the street. I can see why a lot of

homeless people end up screaming at pigeons and the like, it's as though there's

a movie about you playing in your head. You're a supporting actor but you don't

know the script and have no idea on how it ends.

Now some of you may say “What about the money you got? What about all the

drugs? Couldn’t you have saved or sold them for a rainy day?” This is what you

have to understand, I had no concept of a ‘rainy day’. Let’s say you decide to

have a weekend bender in Vegas, you look at your budget and then look at your

timeframe. So you plan out what you are going to do (allowing for variations) and

party on but with the knowledge that you have to return to ‘normal life’ in a couple

of days.

I didn’t have that; there were no concerns for a budget or timeframe. I didn’t think

in a rational human way because I honestly didn’t think I had to. Things to do with

planning and longterm consequences didn’t apply to me as far as I was

concerned, those things matter to the herd – not people like me. I remember

joking with a friend when he brought up my partying and asked “How do you

sustain yourself?” I laughed and said “The day I run out of money you will see me

standing on top of that building (Ashfield Catholic club) taking a dive.” I truly did

not think that day would come; my ‘bender’ had been going on for about a year

and a half.

Days went by and somehow I survived, find something here and steal something

there. I think that I was resigned to being a bum, the only source of

embarrassment to me now was that I might bump into people I know from the

party days. As for my family I just had to keep lying and keep a distance between

me and them. How on earth do you tell your parents that you're a homeless bum

and how do you explain how you got there? I was once the guy whom people

would cross the road to say hello to, now I was the guy people cross the road to

avoid. One day I was walking down Frederick Street Ashfield near the railway

bridge, a woman was heading in my direction pushing a pram when she saw me.

She then ran out onto the road with the pram and somehow didn't get run over

just to avoid crossing my path. That was one of the lowest ebbs in my life.

Although a lot of the people from the hotel moved on I kept in touch with one guy

who was in a position not all that much better than mine. He saw what a bad way

I was in and used to sneak me in to his room at a boarding house at night. When

you've been on the streets for just over two weeks a bed in a flophouse seems

like a dream come true and a hot shower feels like being reborn. I would have

been content to do this every night, but when I had to tell my father that I was no

longer staying at the hotel (for postal and emergency reasons) and that I was

only "staying" at the boarding house until another arrangement could be made,

my act about being OK developed some serious cracks. My father told me it was

unfair of me to put my friend in this position, as he could be evicted if found out.

Actually most people in the house knew, they just hadn't caught me. But I knew

to leave was the right thing to do and went back on the street.

Did I ever contemplate returning to Satan? Yes I had thought about it, but I just

couldn’t bring myself to do it. Just like when I considered becoming a priest, there

are just some things you cannot force yourself to do despite what you have to

gain from them. I got involved with Satanism for the magic, that and nothing else

(and even then it was because it was the easiest route). I figured if I got that right

then everything else would fall into place, but now I knew that would never be the

case while being a Satanist as all the esoteric knowledge I had learned while

being one was completely flawed. I now knew that everything that I once held

true is based on lies, assumptions and laziness and to return to a faith based on

lies in order to gain a certain lifestyle (financially speaking) was completely

opposite to the reason I had started my journey. To do so was to truly “sell my

soul to the devil.”

I went to see my father a few days later; by now the whole "things are good" act

had completely collapsed. By now I had been on the street for three weeks and it

was impossible to convey even a sense of averageness, it was obvious that I

was a bum in dire trouble. My fathers' wife asked me if I wanted to move in with

them, what was I going to say? No? I had lost my money, faith and sense of self

worth, and toughing it out on the streets wasn't going to do me any good.

I moved back in with my father and his wife. Unemployed and broke, my life for

the next two and a half years would be desolate. The only good thing about this

period was that I learned to go without and also how to be resourceful. I also no

longer resembled a bloated toad, didn't smoke as much if ever because I had no

money for smokes (or booze and drugs for that matter, nor did I have the

contacts for such). No doubt this was "tough love" by Jehovah, if I continued on

with the lifestyle I had under Satan I have no doubt that I would be six feet under

by now (Sometimes I reflect back on how I lived and am truly amazed that I’m

still breathing. I cannot put it down to ‘chance’).

Pleasure in my life simply did not exist; my existence on a spiritual level was just

a void. Slowly I was learning how to reconcile with Jehovah, but all things take

time and my magic could not bail me out of my situation. How could it? I did not

know how to apply it because I did not have experience and this is what I believe

my period of desolation was about. Throw in the fact that Australia was

economically stagnate due to a recession, the few jobs that were around usually

had at 50 -100 applicants and so employers could afford to be picky. I don’t think

being an ex-party boy for Satan is a qualification of any note.

Penance and experience, the former given and the latter received. As I was

walking to a job interview I had reached the point of utter despair. It was the sort

of despair where you saw death as the only way out, fact was I just couldn’t

continue to exist like this. It seemed like I was in an eternal state of misery. In this

state of despair I called out to Jehovah “Oh please, please O Lord Jehovah. Give

me this job; give me a reason to exist”. My outpouring of desperation, frustration

and despair was not planned; it was something that just happened. At that

moment something happened, it seemed that I was about to levitate, the feeling

of a huge relief came upon me.

Much like in a movie where a farm suffering under drought suddenly has the

heavens open upon it and life giving rain flows down. About a week later I had a

job and a feeling of dignity that I never had for a long time. I also had experience

and a sort of reconciliation with Jehovah, it wasn’t that I felt that I had been

absolved of all that which I had done. It was more like I had gained a sense of

balance and could put away the baggage I had burdened myself with. If my

period of desolation was a prison sentence, then I reasoned that I was now on

parole - at least on earth anyway.

With my new found ‘wealth’ (considering I had absolutely no money whatsoever it

indeed was wealth to me) from my job, there were two things I wanted to do. First

pay back all the people I had to sponge off during those two and a half years.

Secondly, buy more occult books, the quest for knowledge never ended despite

being penniless. In fact I spent more time at libraries than anywhere else and

found some books that I would have never found at all if my time was spent

otherwise.

Not being able to afford any books meant that I had to copy the contents of these

books by hand, which allowed me to digest the contents as I wrote.

Understanding the mechanics of magic is essentially metaphysics and

metaphysics is along the same lines of philosophy, however todays' philosophy is

decidedly atheist. Say you study metaphysics- you're a hocus pocus nut. Say you

study philosophy -well....you're obviously an elite intellectual of some sort!

Once you have a point of reference you can begin to grasp the concept. It is like

doing a large jigsaw puzzle with tiny pieces, if you want to solve it you must have

a ‘first’ piece and then see where every other piece comes into the puzzle.

Trying to understand magic is like trying to measure the abstract. I’ll use this

example, if I were to ask you “Where does the earth begin and where does it

end?” What would your answer be? Would it be it starts at the North Pole and

ends at the South Pole? The fact is that the earth is a sphere and has no definite

point of beginning or end. The terms “North Pole” and “South Pole” are purely

symbolic, and that’s what terms are in metaphysics –symbolic. You are dealing

with concepts and the abstract; they cannot be physically measured just as the

first three planes of existence cannot be physically measured. We cannot

measure these things because we cannot transcend the physical, or in a lot of

cases are yet to transcend the physical.

Personally speaking I find philosophy to be a cheap man made imitation of

metaphysics. Magical systems regardless of origin have a divine presence as

their point of reference; philosophical beliefs have only the philosopher who

expounded that belief. No man will ever be an equal to God and yet these

philosophers and their acolytes (largely atheists) see themselves as being such

or indeed, even better. Does this remind you of anyone you know?

Astrology, numerology, gematria and ceremony are symbolic acts and

measurements of the metaphysical world. Magic is bringing the non visible into

view, and creation from the void. Truthfully speaking the magician seeks to be a

little god in this world of Assiah; the Satanist seeks to be a little god of this world

of Assiah. If people were to believe that the physical plane was the only form of

existence, the one or ones who had power over its functions would be powerful,

at least to those who believe only in the existence of Assiah. Why do you think

atheists are so adamant and fanatical about there being “only this world”? If all

things can be measured, then the worth of your existence can be too. I will

explain later what these “atheists” are all about, it is not a matter of just “not

believing”, and these people are truly wicked. A genuine Satanist will hold a

degree of spirituality; an atheist does not (if they are to be believed).

And atheism is indeed the creed of Assiah.

As I started to collect more books, the more I practiced and the more I learned.

But with being absolutely penniless before I came to realise that there wasn’t all

that much I really wanted. After all I had a job for money and was still living at

home. Although I didn't have the independence that a lot of adults did at my age

(27), I was in a way content with the status quo. Well sort of, I didn't feel I had

"grown up" completely but wasn't sure what to do about it. Doubt about who and

what I was began to overtake me, what expectations were expected of me by my

parents, relatives, friends and society in general?

I didn't want to run the standard treadmill of everyone else, in a way I suppose I

was just floating through life. It seemed to be the same situation that led me to

being a Satanist for the second time but I had dismissed all that as being just

something that was once me but no longer. Now I had knowledge of the

kabbalah and experience in the way that magic does actually work, I also had an

understanding as to the order of things (but nowhere near a complete

understanding and I seriously doubt that any human ever will, maybe with the

exception of Jesus and the prophets). There was no way I ever was going to

return to Satanism or seek out Satan. The last thing I expected was him to seek

out me.

But that he did, it happened one night about an hour and a half after I went to

bed. Everyone else in the house had gone to bed and was (as far as I know)

asleep. I was awoken by a dreadful chilling feeling, it was as though someone

had soaked a blanket in iced water and thrown it over me. Even though I was

fully covered in bed the freezing chill still covered my body and my hair stood on

end. The air was also very cold and was annoying to breathe in, this made me sit

up in bed and then I saw him. He was standing at the end of my bed; it's hard to

accurately describe him you just had to be there.

He was (in this manifestation) about 7ft tall, mostly a silhouette in appearance

with the left half of his face slightly reflecting light. He wore a white crown and

seemed to be a two dimensional figure, just like a cardboard cut out. I knew who

he was there and then and to be honest I shit myself, the only thing I could think

of was that he had come to kill me because I had bailed out on him twice. As I

looked at him in disbelief all I could say was "I didn't call you Satan." His

response was "My name is not Satan, my title is Adam Satan and it is your doubt

that called me." Then came my response; "No. I'm not coming back! I don't want

to come back. I believe in Jehovah!"

While I was in a panic mode trying to think up excuses as to why I wouldn't

return, (and wondering when Jehovah was going to show up; as I said I was

really in a panic mode) I just started calling on Jehovah to do something about

this and kept on repeating "I only believe in Jehovah, he is my God" and

variations of this as a mantra. Satan turned his back in a counter clockwise

motion and disappeared in the darkness. The chill had disappeared and the air

ceased being cold. For about the next 45 minutes I sat up in bed too scared to go

back to sleep or even lie down, all I did was thank Jehovah for protecting me and

keeping me alive.

I lay back down and went to sleep, when I woke the next morning I wondered if

what happened had been a dream. Recollecting on what happened I remember

hearing things such as possums in the roof and a couple of cars driving past

while Satan was there. My father then told me that I was talking in my sleep last

night and my stepmother asked me who I was talking to. It wasn't a dream, what

happened that night was real.

Actually I never had any real affiliation for Satan (Ha Shatan, the Satan that

being Lucifer. I preferred Leviathan, it is like being in a football team in that you

may prefer instruction from your captain rather than your coach – but in the end

you listen to and obey the coach, what he says goes!)

Still, I kind of wish I didn’t freakout like that. If I could have had that night back

again I would have liked to talk to him, partly about the things that had happened

with me. But also just in general, I would have liked to have a one on one with

him just to hear his viewpoint on existence. A chance to converse with a unique

animated intellect doesn't come all that often, look at the clowns that pass for

intellectuals these days. All up I would compare that experience with being

approached by an attractive stranger for sex, if you were not in a place where

you would expect it your automatic response would be no. Then as you reflect on

it later you wish you hadn't of been so dismissive, not that anything would have

likely come from it but you would want to know why you would be special enough

for them to approach and offer. I suppose I am hoping that Lucifer will repent and

return to Jehovah like the prodigal son; hey I didn't think it was possible for me to

ask for forgiveness either. There is always hope.

As I was now better versed in magic I looked at how it could be applied in various

aspects of my life rather than the “get rich and party” scheme of things. What

about sexual matters? Well this was a subject that made me really consider the

rights and wrongs of magic. Depending on the magical system you use, you can

use magic to obtain sexual liaisons with whom you wish within reason. I add

“within reason” because there are some things that are permitted with magic and

some things that despite the best ritual being performed will never happen. Or as

the phrase goes “some things are not meant to be”. This brings up the subject of

“freewill”. So what exactly is freewill? Do we truly believe that we and we alone,

decide our future? Or are we just fulfilling a destiny that we don’t even

recognise?

This was the question that I began to comprehend while contemplating the

subject of sexual relations. If I were to use magic to get someone into the

bedroom would I be fulfilling a part of my destiny? Or would I be denying that

person to exercise their freewill? Or would I be interfering in that persons’

destiny? The thing you have to realise is that magic alters the “order of things”

because there is a flow on effect from these actions. I believe that magic and

suicide are not permitted (but not prevented) because of this flow on effect. If

there is an order of things this means that all of us are pre-destined to live for a

specific function, how and why we achieve that function is not specifically

relevant because it will be achieved regardless.

The only things that I know of that could alter a “grand plan” are magic and

suicide (throw in murder as well). I once performed a ritual to kill a political leader

because I really hated this guy. I put some serious study in it, checked and

double checked every aspect; as far as rituals and purpose went it was perfect.

As I readied myself to begin the ritual I had a strong feeling of doubt. Not in the

application of the ritual, but the result. Something told me that this would not be

allowed because that person had a destiny to fulfil and my action would not be

permitted. I reasoned that if my ritual was correct in design and application, as

well as occult laws (which it was) then it would have to be allowed regardless.

Ahead I went, the application was flawless but as I finished a sense of emptiness

filled me. It was like being in a football match where your team has the perfect

plan, the perfect moves and plays and yet you come up with nothing. It was a

hollow feeling of not failure but disappointment.

This experience did put a halt on my studies for a while, but then again every

disappointment in something does. Still I asked myself did I actually fail? So I

decided to totally ignore magic and occult studies but curiosity brought me back

to it about a month later. I started reading through my collection of books once

again, not so much as to plan rituals but just to understand the “mechanics” of

magic. Things seemed different from before as the more I understood magic the

less I wanted to use it. The flip side of this was I became “fairy charmed”, this is

where you become so engrossed in the study of magic that you lose touch with

the outside world. My life had become nothing more than work and study, about

four months passed before I shook myself out of it but I had a better

understanding of why things are as they are.

It was a Zen type moment when I put myself in Jehovah's shoes (so to speak)

and try to view things from that place. Jehovah can change anything, anytime

according to his will. He can bring about any order that he wishes, he can force

us to love and obey him, so why doesn’t he? I then looked at my own position, if I

studied more and practiced more then I would be a good magician and would be

able to become even better and powerful. I wouldn’t have to work for anything, it

wouldn’t be necessary for me to have to deal with the problems and trials that

others do. In fact I could help family and friends get whatever they want without

them having to exert themselves outside of their comfort zone. Even if there were

struggles in life it wouldn’t really matter because the end result was guaranteed.

Remember nothing is impossible only improbable and even excepting those few

things that would not be permitted by Jehovah a magician could live pretty well

on this earth without effort.

So what’s the downside? Imagine this, going to a horse race and knowing the

results beforehand or indeed knowing everything that was going to happen in

your life. The factor of chance would be largely eliminated, no more surprises, no

feelings of overcoming adversity; your life is a treadmill. However unless you

have strong discipline you are prone to corruption and when things don't go right

they tend to go wrong in a very bad way. Everyday when you get out of bed you

have an expectation of what will happen that day, is it guaranteed? No. Does

Jehovah have your destiny planned for you? I don’t know I can’t answer that. If

he does, then you don’t know about it, you might find out at a later stage of life,

then again you might not. Everyday people bemoan the state of the world wailing

“Why doesn’t God do something about it?”

Question is why don’t they do something about it? What I find the most amusing

is when a bellyacher is asked this question they will almost certainly answer “But

what about my job? I gotta work!” (Say it in a cockney accent, it’s fucking

annoying) In other words it’s someone elses problem to fix up because they are

too busy serving their own self interest.

That’s the problem with society in relation to Jehovah. People only want to look

at their own long-term plans (you don't even get that these days, most people

don't think much further than their next root or beer) not anybody elses and

certainly not Jehovahs’. Jehovah wants a family of individuals; not clones or

robots, he doesn’t cause our problems - other people do. People do things

because they are motivated for a variety of reasons such as love, fear, hate,

desperation and so on. Your works are based on your faith; if you seek to do

good then you have faith in that which is good otherwise you would not bother. If

you seek to do evil then you must have faith in that which is evil otherwise it is

not what you seek to do. Your actions reflect your faith and judgment, even if you

don’t subscribe to a “faith” there is one thing you and everyone else in this world

needs and that is balance.

The question that needs to be asked here is “What is good and evil?” I don’t think

I can adequately explain it to you in full because your circumstances and outlook

on all things would not be the same as mine. So I’ll try this approach; I would

define “good” as positive existence and “evil” as negative existence. Jehovah is

neither good nor evil; He is above either concept because he is a balanced

entity. This is what we are striving for, the fact that we do so demonstrates that

we have a “faith” that allows us to believe that this is possible. Satan on the other

hand is an unbalanced entity and that which comes from him (evil) has a

negative existence. Remember that Satan cannot create, he can only corrupt that

which already exists and use it to his advantage. If he wants to be the title

‘creator’, he has to reverse the order of things. You cannot turn a positive

existence into a negative existence instantaneously, there has to be a point of

neutrality in-between regardless of how big or small that point is.

I first went from a secular (atheist) position to Satanism at the age of 12, this was

neutral to negative. I then left Satanism but only went to “God” at a later stage

(negative to neutral to positive). From there I gave up my “Christian” belief

(positive to neutral) and later went back to Satan (neutral to negative). The cycle

repeated again as before when I left Satanism (negative to neutral to positive).

Oh, if you are wondering if I ever spoke to God and had him answer by words

then yes, it has happened once. It took a week of praying for an answer, the

question I asked was “Is it permissible to kill?” So one night after I had prayed

and gone to bed I ended up “slipping” into the sephira of Chokmah. You may be

asleep physically but are awake on the spiritual level, some people refer to this

as “pathworking” (not strictly true, pathworking requires you to make a conscious

effort to travel to other realms with an objective in mind and an expected result. I

made no effort to travel to Chokmah, it just happened). When you travel to a

sephira you know which one it is because of the colour. For example if you travel

to Hod, then everything in the placing you are in will be monochromatic with

varying tones of orange. In Chokmah it will be tones of grey and that sephira

concerns itself with “fatherly type advice”. So here I was in the sephira, knelt

down before a table with God dealing out three cards on the table like a three

card monte. He then picked up one card and asked me what colour it was. I

looked at the card; it seemed to be as though it was either a white or black card

that had been painted with either white or black and had one colour leeching into

the other. I said that I can see white but I can also see black, it is neither colour

and yet it is both. I couldn’t give a black/white or yes/no answer, he told me that it

was the motivation that was either made it permissible or not. You may be

wondering how I could see the card simultaneously as being of two colours. You

should remember that while you are within the sephira you are there in a spiritual

state, you are not bound by physical limitations. As for what does God look like?

All I got to see were his lower forearms and hands (they were grey too). You

don’t get to look at his face, and I didn’t look under the table either for that matter.

I asked him a direct straight question; he gave me an exercise so I would better

appreciate his answer. And that was that.

What is Gods’ language? Well it’s not a human language; he uses aesthetics to

explain things to us. I’ll try to explain it this way, you and I could look at a photo

and even though we are looking at the same photo we would see it in different

ways because of our circumstance, knowledge and experience. A picture is

worth a thousand words, but your thousand words and mine would be different

and yet it is the same picture. One answer for many questions.

There have been three times in my life when I truly thought I was going to die.

One was in a car smash, I could see what was going to happen and just thought

to myself before impact “oh well, I’m dead.” Another was when I was bitten by a

large black furry spider at night. I couldn’t identify it for certain but I had to

assume it was a funnel web, all I did was light up a smoke as I felt the venom go

through my bloodstream. Like a shot of speed that made my heart beat like a

machine gun, I just waited to die.

No panic, just a sense of calmness along the lines of “shit happens, what ya

going to do?” But in 1997 came something that I gave an answer for regarding

life and death. I was out one night with friends when I developed what seemed to

be a migraine, but this one was a throbbing one at the base of my skull. Although

I should have left the function I was attending I decided that I could tough it out

and see it through. The next morning I was up early because of a breakfast

function, the headache was still there but was dulled compared to the previous

night. While at the function I was standing when I felt a sensation of pins and

needles in my feet slowly travel up my legs. I put this down to my headache must

be the result of a pinched nerve in my neck, the pins and needles continued to go

up to my abdomen and that’s when it hit.

I opened my eyes to see that two guys were carrying me out to the street and

that water was pouring out of my mouth. My vision then became too hazy to see

anything, then one of the guys said “Are you still with me? Just relax…I think

you’ve had a stroke.” Then silence and pure blackness, I was unconscious but

the thing was that I was aware that I was unconscious. At least to the physical

world anyway, but I was aware of the silence and the darkness much like being

in a float tank. Now I was in the position of having to make a choice. As I

reasoned about the possibilities of the result of any option I took, I also realised

that I had my mental faculties. I felt nothing, heard nothing and only ‘saw’ the

blackness, no concept of physical time…where was I?

I looked at it this way, I could either choose to live and face the possibility of

being a brain damaged vegetable or I could choose death. Life as a vegetable

wasn’t life as far as I was concerned so I chose death. I had no input from my

five physical senses, was I not for all intents and purposes physically dead? But

then again…who was I explaining my choice to? Myself? No, I was telling

someone or something to pull the plug on me. I wasn’t talking to myself, there

was someone else there. “I choose death, cash my chips in…Lord. I don’t want

to live like this God.”

My decision was made, then I noticed I could feel the breeze on my face and

hands. I opened my eyes to see the ceiling of an awning; the guys had laid me

on a brick wall and were watching me while waiting for the ambulance to come. I

sat up and got to my feet and took a couple of steps, when I was told to sit down

and wait for the ambulance. The headache was gone and all I felt was a light

touch at the base of my skull. I was for all intents and purposes fine, as though

nothing really had happened.

The ambulance arrived and what happened next was simply astounding. Two

ambulance officers came out; one of them was a man who questioned the guys

as to what actually happened to me and assessed the details. The other was a

Paris Hilton type bimbo who asked me to tell her what happened. As I was telling

her she then stated that “You drink too much.”

WTF!? I had half a small glass of beer in a toast, nothing else. The male officer

came over and asked me what had happened, I told him and then he said that

we should take you to a hospital for a thorough assessment. He obviously knew

what happened to me; however the bimbo was the senior and thought it to be

unnecessary. She then walked off and got back into the ambulance, the male

officer then said that if I had any concerns that I was to go to hospital

immediately and that I should see a doctor within two days regardless.

I saw my doctor the next day, he couldn’t confirm that I had a stroke from the

CAT scans but said a blood clot was the most likely culprit for what happened.

Fuck me! I wonder how many people had ended up taking dirtnaps because of

that bitch. Thanks a lot Affirmative Action!

But I realised two things from all of this, the first that your intellect is animated

and maybe this is what we call the soul and the second is you can only trust in

God when it comes to your existence and its state. I don’t fear death because I

cannot die, as an animation I can only cease to be a physical being.

Atheists will claim that because those who were pronounced dead and then

revived had recalled seeing ‘nothing’ in the time period of their ‘death’, such as

not going to heaven or hell. They will claim that this proves that God doesn’t

exist, but these people came back to the world of the living and they too were

aware of the ‘nothingness’. (Maybe they were in the sephira of Ain or Ain Soph –

I’ll explain later) Whether or not I was ‘dead’ I don’t know, how do you define

death? I was disconnected from my five physical senses, well to be more correct

my intellectual animation was disconnected from my five physical senses. I don’t

know how to better describe it, we all find out eventually.

Anyway by now I was now 28 and time came for me to move out on my own

again. So for a place to live I was once again living in hotel type accommodation

(at a pub actually). It allowed me freedom to use my spare time as I wished and I

was hanging out with a bunch of guys who were quite okay. I decided that I

wanted to earn that which I had. I didn’t want an easy path; it just didn’t give me

satisfaction. My books for the most part were put away, although I did

occasionally flick through them out of a type of curiosity. One of my favourite

things to do in a library was to look at the occult books to see how often they

were borrowed. I would notice that with the older books that they were borrowed

multiple times at first but then the borrowing would eventually slow down to about

once a year. The interest in Western tradition occult seemed to be declining and

in its place came snake oil sellers in the form of chanellers and half assed wicca

sects (The practice of wicca is nothing to do with the druids, it is a cooked up

version of thelema mixing in a lot of celtic and medieval paraphernalia. Todays’

wicca is about 70 years old.)

From there nothing else really happened, as far as religious beliefs went I was

like everyone or so I imagined. That being I believed in Jehovah and that was

about it, there was nothing that lured me in an occult sort of way. Neither did I

follow any religion nor did I feel the need to be in a continuous state of

repentance. On occasion I would talk to people who happened to bring up such

matters as part of a conversation, but nothing else. There was no desire on my

part to encourage anyone to practice magic, the only thing I told them was that it

was an option if so needed and not to take anyone's’ word as gospel in such

matters. I still say the same thing today, do your own research and understand

what is being offered to you. Would do the same thing if you were buying

insurance? Are your spiritual matters of a lesser importance? My faith in Jehovah

was like a second nature to me, if not indeed a first one. It was just natural, most

likely because I understood why I had this faith. With what I’ve experienced, been

in and been through there could be no other alternative for my spiritual belief. Did

I become secular during this time? Yes I did; it wasn’t something that I sort out to

be, it was something that I slowly became. All I did was close the door on my

past and just allowed the memories to disappear into the ether.

Although I was floating through life, my world was reasonably happy. I’m 35 at

this stage and living in a good area, did the overseas trip thing, have a

reasonable job etc. etc. Most of my spare time was filled with my interest in

computer and internet matters (like a lot of people I suppose). Then one day I

received a phone call telling me that my aunt had a brain haemorrhage and was

on life support. Naturally I went to the hospital to find out what was happening

and in doing so I met relatives of mine that I hadn’t seen for years.

One of my relatives came with Bible in hand and soon enough was asking me

whether or not I believed in Jesus. I didn’t feel like a theological argument with

her because I didn’t think it was appropriate. I just took it that she was upset and

that her comfort at this time was her faith in Jesus, so to keep the peace I just

said yes and left it at that. As I lived not too far away from the hospital I would

visit every day just to see what was happening but I knew it wasn’t going to have

a happy ending. During those visits I bumped into my religious relative on

occasion and she started to ask me about my church attendance. Seeing as I

wasn’t attending one I knew I could only be vague for so long before being found

out to be lying. So I picked out one not too far away from my place and said I was

going there hoping that would be the end of that.

It was on one occasion at the hospital when the issue of having a priest coming

over to give a bedside prayer service came up. I had no objection to it but was

then asked if I could arrange it. As I didn’t know what the protocol was for such a

thing, (nor did I know any clergy) I asked some of the nursing staff if they had any

ideas. One nurse gave me the phone number of a Reverend who did these types

of visits, so I made a call only to find out he was in another state at the time. I

went back to the hospital and told the relatives there that I couldn’t arrange for

someone to come over and that if someone knew a member of the clergy that

they should organise this.

Out of nowhere came this “NO!” Huh? What do you mean no? “There is not

going to be a visit by any religious people” came the reply. To me it was neither

here or there, after all I was only trying to accommodate a request and it didn’t

really make that much of a difference as far as I was concerned. Maybe this

relative knew something about my aunt that I didn’t, anyway it wasn’t me that

was pushing the issue so I just left it at that.

To make a long story short my aunt died, there was the funeral and a little bit of a

sermon where the religious relative told me that all the dead members of our

family were reunited with Jesus. I went along with it and just saw her belief as a

way of coping. After the funeral I thought that like every other family that goes

through this that we all would eventually just return to our normal (though slightly

altered) lives.

About a week later I got a phone call from the religious relative asking how I was.

Me? I was fine, life had returned to normal and that was that. Then the issue of

religion came up including how my church attendance as well as my faith in

Jesus was. “Yep, everything’s good.” I replied thinking that would be the end of

that subject. The last thing I expected was to be asked the name of the Reverend

of that church, but that I was asked. Somehow I managed to cook up an answer

of that the Reverend was filling in at another church and that a lay preacher was

running the services. I also added that no-one knew if he was coming back or

not. If that question wasn’t tough enough, the next one was worse. “What time do

they have the service and when are we going to arrange to attend together?” I

simply said that the service time was being reviewed and that she should call me

beforehand to make sure I would be there. I ended the conversation there, and

started to get a sense of anger I didn’t want. Was I being checked up on? So far I

was only acting this part to keep the peace, my tolerance was wearing thin.

After cooling down a bit and giving it some thought I decided to go to one of the

services of “my” church. If I was going to play this role then it was necessary to

have first hand experience on my “faith” In addition if I was ever called up about

the church by my religious relative at least I could answer honestly. To me it was

about investing an hour and a bit on a Sunday in order to maintain good relations

within the family. Problem was that I wasn’t part of any church; once again I

picked a church that I just happened to know about. I picked Scots Presbyterian

church at Wynyard because it was near a bus stop that I used to travel between

work and home, I had also assumed that it was Scottish in background (correct)

and so I thought I would be able to relate to it.

Anyway I went to a service, it was nice enough and the parishioners were

friendly. I grabbed a newsletter from the church with all the relevant information

on it, left and thought nothing more about it. A couple of weeks later I had nothing

to do on a Sunday morning and decided to go to another service at the church,

actually the service was okay and there was a little period of chit-chat among the

parishioners after the service. Not a bad way to spend a Sunday morning really.

Even though I was still getting phone calls from the religious relative I was soon

attending the church services of my own accord.

The sermon and prayer mix was balanced; the company of the parishioners was

rather enjoyable (although there a couple there who I think were just making their

citizenship applications look good). I went there for about three months but then

a work colleague decided to take his holiday leave and I was the only one readily

available to fill in for him. It didn’t seem that big a deal to me, after all he was

going for a month and with his shift times I figured that I would only miss maybe

one or two services. The month passed and I had only missed two services, no

big deal. Then my supervisor came to see me and said my colleague wanted to

go to Germany and wanted to extend his vacation by five weeks. He said he

didn’t have a problem with it but I was the only one who could cover for him.

Unless I agreed he wouldn’t extend the colleagues’ vacation, well what could I

say? If he was over there in Europe already I wasn’t going to demand he return

because I didn’t want to work on Sundays.

Five weeks became eight weeks, and with working six days a week I soon

abandoned church. I just wasn’t able to do it, and when things did get back to

normal something else came up. Although you may have heard about gout, it

isn’t until you experience it that you truly understand how painful it is. Scratch

another three weeks as I spent most of that time in bed with a pillow under my

knee. Now it had been three months since my last attendance, the habit was

broken although reluctantly. It was never my intention for this to happen, but it

had. At this time I started reading the Koran, to be honest I never really

considered myself a Christian – ever.

Don’t get me wrong I don’t have a problem with the Gospel, its okay as far as I’m

concerned. I just cannot subscribe to this belief that Jesus is the only

personification of God; did Jesus say that he created the earth in six days and

rested on the seventh? No, so why do some Christians insist that he did? I also

cannot subscribe to the trinity either. If you were to ask me what my belief is,

then the only answer I could honestly give you is a monotheist who believes that

the God of Abraham is the only God that ever has been or will be. The Old

Testament, New Testament and Koran are all okay by me.

Did it irk me with the “Father, Son and Holy Ghost” thing in the church? Well not

enough to stop me from going and I don’t think everyone actually subscribes to it.

When there was prayer I prayed to the Father, that being Jehovah.

A few months later I was taking a walk around my area on a Sunday afternoon

and happened to come across a church. I was reading the notice board out the

front and saw that they had an evening service, as I had nothing else to do that

day I decided to attend. After all it was just a run of the mill Anglican church and

most probably only provided a simple service, which was fine by me as I was just

going there as a “time out” to reflect. It was just something I wanted to do as I

had more or less got caught up in the nightclub/party circuit once again. Good

times can overcloud bad memories so I thought I needed a ‘grounding’ to get a

proper perspective on life, existence etc.

Anyway I went at the advertised time and saw a few people out the front; they

just seemed like average people so I went inside. What I saw inside didn’t reflect

what I had seen outside, the church was full of yuppies all dressed like they were

going to a businessmens’ weekend barbeque. Throw in the fact that their kids all

looked like they were modelling clothes for K-Mart and I was in a situation where

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cringe. As everyone was making their way to

the pews some guy came up to me and asked me if I was new. Yes I was, to

which he replied “Oh well just take a seat here” and motioned to an empty pew.

Fine whatever, as I was waiting for the service to commence a jailbait type girl

approached with some guy in hand. “This is (I forgot his name), you two would be

good together” What? What’s this about? Then came this “Hiiiiiiiiiiiii!” from that

guy. That guy was as camp as a row of tents and I was wondering what the hell I

had walked into. At the front of the church there was a stage with musical

instruments set up as well as an overhead screen display. When the minister

came to the front looking like he had just come from a hair salon, it was definitely

cringe time.

“Today I’d like to talk to you about the spirit of giving!” For a moment I just sat

there stunned that straight off the bat that this guy was asking for money. He

then went on to explain how EFTPOS facilities were available and that he took

cheques as well. In addition he said that a 10% tithe on our wages “should be

about right” for the needs of the church. Now I understand that money is needed

for the functioning of a church, not a problem there. It was the manner in which

he asked that I didn’t like, no joke it was just like a comedy movie about those

crooked televangelists. The rest of the service consisted of chit-chat (such as a

member of the congregation being unmarried and pregnant to another member

of the congregation. “But we shouldn’t be judgmental about it.” Then why the fuck

mention it?) and gospel “rock” songs; it was not like the other church I attended

before.

What struck me the most out of all of this was never at any stage did the minister

ask us to pray. What sort of church service doesn’t have prayer? Finally the

“service” ended so I just made my way out, someone told me about a sausage

sizzle being held in the church grounds. Taking a look it seemed that the

parishioners were dressed for the occasion, it was more or less like a

businessmens barbeque. Even though I was hungry I just walked off and went

home, the whole setup was too cheesy for me to tolerate. That church seemed to

be a social club with an entrance fee rather than a temple of Christ.

If you think that’s an example of a crap church I’ve got one even better. It was on

an Easter Sunday that I was in the vicinity of a church and saw that they too were

having an evening service. As it was going to commence in twenty minutes I just

decided to hang around out the front. I got bored after ten minutes so I went

inside to wait, virtually no-one there but I just assumed they (the congregation)

were late arrivers. A couple of the parishioners were talking and one said “There

were 128 here this morning.” I was wondering if he had been to the morning

service, if so why was he back here? Then I wondered; how did he know the

exact numbers that were here? I thought it a bit unusual that a parishioner would

bother to count everyone that attended.

He looked and spoke like a bum with a nasty attitude, as it turns out it was a case

of people looking as they are. The service started with the minister, the ministers’

wife, the organist, the bum and four parishioners including myself. After an

insincere greeting, the minister started of with a hymn recital which we were all

rushed through. Then using an overhead projector he rushed us through three

songs to such a speed that the female organist couldn’t keep up the tempo.

When she miscued (I doubt any organist would have been able to play that

quick) the minister would look over at her and grit his teeth in an angry manner.

As this arsehole was rushing us through the songs he was waving a drumstick

like a pirate having a sword fight. In the end I didn’t bother to sing anymore. I just

couldn’t keep up.

When we finally finished our rushed singing and sat down, the minister gave us a

rather bland talking to about the spirit of Easter and then started reading verses

from the Bible that were out of context to each other. He quite clearly did not

want to be there and it could not be more obvious. Then came the collection, and

then I knew why the bum was there and how he knew the numbers. I was sitting

at the end of a pew, so it was rather simple for him to open the money bag and

shove it in front of my face. Apart from the organist (who got chipped a couple of

times by the minister in-between songs) the entire service was despicable. I

should have just walked off, but I was kind of hoping for it to improve. So I put ten

bucks in the bag, the bum then looked in the bag to see what I had given.

Unbelievably he then gritted and bared his teeth to me and hissed some sort of

remark and moved on. When he finished his collection, he went to the minister

with the bag.

Then they both looked into the bag while whispering to each other, the bum

motioned with his head in my direction and then the minister looked over at me.

After some more hissing, the minister then said the service was concluded and

opened the door of the church and stood by waiting for us to leave. As the church

door only allowed a single file exit and the minister was talking to someone, a

little queue had formed. The bum came from behind me and barged past

mumbling something which I took to be an insult. Did this guy want to turn it on?

Although I was taken aback by this possibility, within seconds I decided I was

going to smash the shit out of this contemptuous little bastard because he utterly

deserved it. I left the church and waited around the grounds for a few minutes,

but there was no sign of him. I then went to the street entrance to the grounds,

figuring that he would have to come through sooner or later. From the street

entrance I could see the church entrance and waited for him to come out, he did

then ten seconds later went back inside. I don’t know if he saw me, but he might

have guessed what I was hanging around for if he did. I went back to the front of

the church as it looked like the minister was locking it up and about to leave. The

minister then came up to me and asked “what was I doing?” I said I was having a

cigarette and getting ready for a long walk home. Behind him I could see the bum

make his way into the car park and disappear from view; the minister then said

with a great big insincere smile on his face “Maybe we’ll see you next week” and

then walked off with the bag of money.

It would be four and a half years before I set foot in a church again. You might

have the idea that these were churches in “lowbrow” areas; actually they were in

upper middle class suburbs- a conman's dream. I have heard stories about

ministers in poor areas driving the congregations of the church into the ground in

order to be transferred to a wealthier area to “handle donations.” To me these

scumbags are just as evil as those who openly worship Satan, probably even

worse. But then again if I had infiltrated the church as I once intended to do

would I have been any different?

I more or less washed my hands of the church after that. The church seemed to

be something that I could not relate to in any way whatsoever. It was (and still is)

seemingly devoid of any spirituality of any sort. For something that is supposed

to espouse the teachings of Jesus, it is now a business that uses Jesus as an

image and figurehead (much like the clown for McDonalds) to serve the vested

interests of those running it. That is not to say that all churches are bad setups,

there are some who keep to the Gospel. The good churches practice the religion

of Jesus instead of a religion about Jesus, they also stick to the “Give Caesar

what is due Caesar and give God what is due God” as said by Jesus.

Unfortunately these churches are few and far between.

Chapter 4

Let’s continue on...(beginning of 2005)

One of my favourite pastimes was to go into “bargain basement” bookstores to

see what was on offer. During one of these ventures I came across a book about

voodoo. I can’t say that I ever was interested in practicing it, to me it seemed too

chaotic but then again I had never studied it in proper. There was one guy who I

came across during my Satanist days who said he practiced voodoo, or at least

that’s what he told me. I was never invited to a ritual by him so I couldn’t give an

assessment as to his practices. There is the possibility that he might have been a

bullshit artist, but he had shown me paraphernalia to do with voodoo and I

encountered some strange things when visiting his place (I remember once

visiting him and his share mate, there was calypso type music throughout the

place but it seemed to have no source. There was also a punch bowl full of rum

and orange juice and no matter how much we drank the level never went down).

It was more or less a case of that he had his own thing going and I had mine.

The last I heard about him was that he became a bum on the street in the same

manner I did. I’ve read a couple of testimonies on the web from ex-voodoo/juju

magicians; eerily what happened to them when they walked away from it

mirrored what happened to me.

The book was only a couple of dollars so I got it, took it home, and began to

read. The book was in a straight forward format and I could understand the

principles behind it, if you understand the structure of kabbalah you can adjust to

voodoo. However much like an alcoholic who smells an open whiskey bottle, or

an opium addict reliving a blissful stupor my addiction became reawakened. I

could feel myself becoming enchanted by this new found understanding of what

once seemed to be an alien form of magic. Previously I had read a book by

Isaiah Oke called “Blood Secrets” and his experiences with juju, at the time it

seemed both shocking and fascinating. But then again it was the shock factor

that drew me into Satanism to a great extent. The more I studied about voodoo,

the more I became interested in juju; this is the father of voodoo.

Voodoo and juju are considered to be low magic; it is basically sorcery of a

ceremonial type. Kabbalah on the other hand is high magic; it has an empirical

system in which its rituals can be mathematically calculated. Mathematics is

impersonal, ceremony is not. When taking an interest in either voodoo or juju you

take a personal interest in the loas/orishas or “gods’ involved. They in return take

a personal interest in you, which can either be a good thing or a bad thing. For

the time being I’ll use the term voodoo so as to avoid confusion but to explain it

simply, voodoo is a “softer” version of juju. Voodoo does some strange things to

you, even as someone like myself did not consider the loas to be worthy of

worship, but maybe a begrudging respect. My faith in Jehovah kept me in check,

when it came down to the crunch I was never going to jump ship again.

Still I have to confess that voodoo has a seductive quality about it. You view the

world in terms of animation, you feel as though you are the only thing on this

earth that is truly alive. Everything other life form on this earth and especially

people seem to be robotic, that is why voodoo practitioners (especially priests or

‘mambos’) tend to be callous. You feel divine; it gives you a second skin much

like a drug addict on a high. There can be no low point as long as you’re high and

the loas are closer to us as entities than angels and demons (or at least I found).

A common belief is that a lot of the loas were once humans themselves and their

practice of magic allowed them to “transcend” (in an entity sense), from being

human after death. I never bothered to check it out any further so I can't give a

definite answer to this. Voodoo has the same good/evil partition between spirits,

there are the “hot” spirits which are malevolent and the “cool” ones that are

benevolent. But as with any addiction to maintain the high you have to increase

the dose. I think that practicing magic is the same as doing drugs, but this type of

addiction had to be paid for with blood sacrifice in order to maintain the feeling. I

just wasn’t willing to do that, nor did I ever as a Satanist. I confess I am an animal

lover, so I avoided being in a position of doing those sorts of things.

However if push came to shove in regards to my Satanism then yes I would have

and if I had no faith in Jehovah and did decide to adopt voodoo I would have

quite willingly done so. One thing I did do was to do the library scrounge like I did

while a Satanist, I took down notes on descriptions of voodoo and related

magical practices. I then used some math/gematria etc. so as to see if I could

make it more “solid and sound”. Yes it was the wrong thing to do but I did find

and think I made it more efficient. It was the intellectual stimulation that drove me

to do it, the challenge was worthy. Anyway I had spent some hours doing this

one day and became tired and took a nap.

The nap became a deep sleep and when I woke up I went to the toilet and looked

in the mirror, what I saw stunned me. My eyes had turned hazel and were like

those of a leopard, the skin on my face was drawn back and it did seem I had the

face of a leopard. My straight hair became wirery, my eye teeth seemed like

fangs and as I was holding onto the basin I looked at my hands which were

seemingly turning into claws. I use the word seemingly because I didn’t know

what the fuck was happening to me, all I could do was stare into the mirror

somewhat horrified. I went back to my bed and sat there wondering if this look

was permanent and what was I going to do about it. It was about 15 minutes later

that I went back to the mirror and found everything went back to normal apart

from my hair looking a bit on the birds nest side. I decided to drop any interest in

voodoo completely; not wanted and not needed! As I said, voodoo does strange

things to you.

That was in 2005 and I haven’t performed a ritual (well...not of a non-Kabbalah

type) or had a fling with some sort of occult type religion since. Towards the end

of 2009 I attended a Christian Science church; it was a church I walked past

every night for three years. They hold testimony meetings every Wednesday

night, seeing how I had just quit my job and had nights free I decided to go and

see what was happening. What got my attention was that they openly talked

about metaphysics, something I had never come across in a church before.

People gave testimony as to how their faith in God improved their lives, they

testified how their life was and the difference God made. Certainly it was worth

going there to hear, we don't get good news stories on TV anymore or rarely do

anyway.

Nope, all we get now is how some dropkick found a bone in Africa which “proves”

evolution and that God doesn't exist and other meandering garbage like that. It

was a real eye opener compared with the "just believe in Jesus and give us your

money" mantra a lot of churches pitch. I decided to be upfront with them about

my history; it isn't as though I drag it around for all to see. It has only been since

from about mid 2009 that I decided I needed to air my dirty laundry; it has only

been because of the "atheist intellectuals" having a pied piper effect on the

young. Now I look at todays' atheist "stars" and can only repeat that I recognise

in them that which I once was.

Having come out into the open, initially to "Christian friends and associates" the

ugly fact is most of them basically disowned me. All I did was offer to them to

share my experience on the matter and tell them what to look out for regarding

these gurus of bullshit. It seemed for as much as they would condemn Satan and

those who they deemed to be his followers; they equally as much didn't believe in

his existence. Or if they didn't know what to believe regarding these sorts of

subjects, it is likely that their church has no position on them or even believes

they exist.

I have to say that I've met some great people at that Christian Science church

who have shown me how to have an honest relationship with God. That was

something I never really got around to. As I was a dyed in the wool rulebreaker

and bad guy in relation to magic, the idea of using magic to help others in a

benevolent way just didn’t seem to be something that was in my nature. I figured

myself as the bad guy fighting for the good cause, it’s easier to be malevolent

than loving. Though since I’ve tried to be of the benevolent loving type I would

say that some perspectives on my life and of other things have changed

somewhat. I’m thankful that God was and is so merciful and patient, if he wasn’t I

wouldn’t be here. If I was him I’d probably would have killed me. Do I still feel that

I’m on parole? No. Am I still on parole? I don’t know, …maybe?

Do I talk to God? Yes I do and I do so as a person, as a unique individual that

God has meant me to be. You are all unique and God wants you to display your

uniqueness in your relationship with him. Not as in limiting your communication

with him as a pack of parrots in a church repeating hymns with no understanding

of what the lyrics mean or represent.

The reason I’ve told you about my life is that hopefully you will see why I’ve

decided to write this book. I don’t assume you know everything, also I don’t

assume you know nothing. You in fact may know more than me, if you do please

tell the world. I feel compelled to write this book because the snake oil sellers

have found a void in the spiritual aspect of society, and in fact they are the ones

who created it. They simply call themselves “atheists” or as they are sometimes

pointed out to be by other believers such as myself (and hopefully you) - “antitheists.”

Hopefully I can explain to you how and why things come about; my hope is for

you to see these so-called “intellectual” atheists for the frauds that they are. In

common terms an “atheist” should be just a person who doesn’t believe in the

existence of God (or any “gods” for that matter). However we have “anti-theists”

(one of many terms) who are claiming to be an average Joe atheist, believe me

they are not. Take it from someone who donned the armour twice for Satan,

some of these people are just plain fucking wicked but the majority are just plain

fucking stupid (and willingly stupid at that).

This world does not have to function as a prison, if it wasn’t for Satan, his

minions as well as his mortal stooges among us we could truly be creative.

Instead we have our time wasted by the selfish and arrogant who try to order our

thoughts and our lives from cradle to grave. Everyday there is some do gooder

windbag bellyaching about something, from the ridiculous to the disgusting.

I’m writing this from the perspective of a white man living in Australia; your

situation may be different. What I see is a population that has grown apathetic to

its’ own demise because of a herd mentality in which people believe they are

stupid and not worthy of expressing their opinion because they have been told so

by the ‘intellectuals’ of their society. From where did this all start and why? We no

longer have debates based on facts and reason but purely on emotion. The

“elite” portions of our societies such as the arts, science, philosophy and the

academic world are absolutely infiltrated by atheists. Why is it that their opinion is

considered infallible and that of everyone else is considered ignorant? It runs

along the lines of “well if it was on television it must be true”. Today our society

accepts the media as the arbiter of truth and this allows any moron to preach

their lies as gospel. No longer do we get information from the media, only pay per

view propaganda which is being used to belittle our intellectual abilities and

convince us we are dumb.

We no longer have community leaders of good faith or balance, instead we have

celebrity politicians who idolise themselves and think they are rock stars. Ours is

a world where power is of more importance than righteousness, where the

intensity of an argument is more important than its content. Where words and

terms are constantly redefined to ensure an end result, which shall be deemed to

be true even if it is blatantly false. Good is now bad, black is now white, 1+1=25,

a cat has four legs and a tail so anything that has four legs and a tail is a cat.

Professors peddle the ranting of nutjob philosophers which everyone accepts to

be true because the professor was on television.

This is a day and age where serial killers and career criminals become

“mainstream” if they are good enough at what they do. There are no objective

moral stances to be had because money is now the new principle; “anything for a

dollar” is the new mantra regardless of what one does in order to get it. This

moral bankruptcy has led everybody into a nihilist “groupthink” or otherwise

known as “collective thought”. The diminishing of the individual intellect has led to

the diminishing of individual responsibility. It seems that everyone is amoral with

their sense of right and wrong being relative to their personal desires. The truth

has become subjective with “what’s true for you is true for you, and what’s true

for me is true for me”. Pleasure is now the highest goal attainable for the herd

regardless of what it involves. As for the elite it is power and money with all that it

can buy or steal. Welcome to the age of hedonism.

Again you may ask yourself “From where did this all start and why?” Well people

like me bear a lot of that responsibility and indeed you should hold us to account.

I may not know everything, but I will tell you everything that I know. So bear with

me as I continue to try to explain what I’ve learned and how I came to learn it.

Chapter 5

I might be repeating myself on some aspects but I want to remove any ambiguity

on things that I have so far stated.

First I wish to state that Satanism is the term to describe the religion (or ideology

if you wish) of rebellion against the order of things as established by the God of

Abraham, that being Jehovah. Satan is a title, not a name. Actually the proper

title is "Adam Satan" meaning 'the adversary of man'. The current Satan (leader

of the opposition) is Lucifer and he will most probably be until the end. Satanism

is basically an "opposition" movement to the "monarchy of the current God"

(Jehovah/Allah/Holy Father); simply put all adherents of Satanism believe it is

time for the "new order" and that Lucifer should be the "new god". God is also a

title -not a name, much like your mother has a proper name and yet she is a

"mum".

Satanism is polytheistic rather than monotheistic; you can choose to worship

Satan/Lucifer only if you wish which would make you strictly monotheistic. Or you

can worship other demons in addition to the Satan, however you must give first

adoration to the Satan and then to the others. It does depend on the order of

demons; yes just like there is an order and hierarchy of angels there is also of

demons. Demons are really just fallen angels and Satanism is just really an

inverted Abrahamic faith. Yes you can also include various pagan "deities" (I

won't call them gods seeing as they do not have the ability to create) but as I just

mentioned the first adoration is given to the Satan. In theory there is nothing

stopping you from being "the Satan", you are entitled to a shot at the title like

anyone else - however your chances are pretty much zero.

So how does Satan and his “faithful army” plan to conquer and rule existence?

Where do I begin that answer? First I have to say that it can either go one of two

ways. The first way to go about it would be the conquest of the physical realm

(Assiah) which is certainly possible. When I refer to the physical realm it is not

just this known universe that I’m referring to. Just like you’ve heard about the

seventh heaven, you should know that there are seven earths (apparently we are

the last creation).

Unless you can master the universe in its entirety and gain a popular following in

all the dimensions where animate beings may reside, you will not be in a position

to take on Lucifer (let alone Jehovah). Did I contemplate such a shot? I only

thought about it once and then only as a hypothetical. Remember the proper title

is Adam Satan, which means you must have the ability to transcend from being a

physically bound mortal (as we understand the physical) to the unknown planes

of existence in the world of Assiah at will. In other words you can no longer just

remain "a man".

An often spoken quote is "cleanliness is next to Godliness" and while traditional

Satanism may be a type of inverted Christianity, it doesn't mean you have a

blank cheque to be a pig. Remember the true purpose and aim of Satanism is

merely to replace Jehovah with the Satan as God. There is nothing written about

scrapping all existence and starting from scratch, it is just a matter of who runs

the show. So if you are of the idea that in order to be a Satanist you must throw

away the concept of personal hygiene then you are sadly mistaken. It is just like

any other religion in that you make an effort to be clean and respectful in

appearance before you go to a church, mosque etc. Satanism isn't for slobs, if

you were to go to a place for a ritual with six months worth of pizza down the

front of your shirt and dirty matted hair at best you would be barred from

attending and participating. Depending on how offensive and disrespectful you

are it might cost you a trip to the hospital; if you are practicing solo it might be

worse. Demons demand cleanliness and respect when being called upon, much

like Angels.

Blood sacrifices of any sort aren't actually necessary, at least not in order to

perform magic. I have heard and read of demons demanding sacrifices in order

to gain their favour; again I say it is not necessary. It was never demanded of me;

although I was loyal to the Satan my affiliation was with Leviathan. There was

nothing to indicate to me that blood sacrifices were absolutely necessary in order

to maintain that loyalty. The Demons that I was told who demanded blood

sacrifices were the ones at the bottom end of the food chain. Although doing

such things are a show of dedication, it does not actually enhance your magical

abilities. In fact I will openly say don't do such things if you are a Satanist, for

there is a hierarchy and if you sacrifice for one demon before doing so for Satan

you will have disrespected the entire hierarchy. You will lose whatever favour you

have with Satan and in addition other demons will expect sacrifices from you as

well. In other words you will be the same as a punk in a prison system and noone

will serve a punk if he only gives what everyone else has received. Signing

up to Satanism is the same as joining up to a criminal gang, you work with the

other gang members in order to serve the boss first and then you gain for

yourself along the way. You don't serve the other members before the boss. In

fact you don't serve them at all.

Sometimes when I hear of bombings in churches, mosques, synagogues and the

like I can’t help but wonder who the bombers really serve. Whether it be a ritual

beheading or a truck full of TNT, if such murders were done in order to prove

loyalty to the Satan then both would be accepted as being of equal value.

As with joining any criminal gang you might have to perform a criminal act to

prove your loyalty. So is a blood sacrifice necessary to ensure esoteric success

for a coven, gang or whatever name you want to call a group of Satanists?

Esoterically? No, but from a legal stand point it is a form of insurance. If you were

to leave the group or abandon Satanism and decide to inform police about

criminal activity committed by members you would have to do so with bloodied

hands. In order to get indemnity from being prosecuted you would have to

confess and list all criminal acts that you directly participated in, or were

accessory to before and after the act. Let's say you give information to the police

that leads to me being arrested and during the course of investigation you have

received immunity from prosecution. Of course I'm going to say I'm not guilty and

I would also say that you owe me a large amount of money and you have set this

up to avoid paying it back. Any half decent defence lawyer will drag up your

indemnity deal and point out to the jury that you have an intimate knowledge of

the crimes (of which there may or may not be any corroborating evidence), that

you owe me a large amount of money (completely false but impossible to

disprove). And that as a Satanist you have no morals so to cook up a scam like

this is just a second nature for you (you may have renounced Satan altogether

but would a jury believe you?). Your legal testimony becomes pretty worthless

pretty quick.

Do Satanists especially hate Jesus? I'd have to say no, they do not regard Jesus

as God (neither do I for that matter. I believe only Jehovah is God). They do see

the Christian church as an enemy because of the belief in God the Father, not

God the Son and the Holy Spirit doesn't get much of a mention either. Jesus is

no more hated than Moses or Mohammed; they did not create heaven, hell, earth

or existence in general. They may be hated for providing a means and way for

people to follow the will of God, but that's about it. They are not on earth

anymore, so in the current scheme of things they are not really relevant but their

message and teachings are. This is what is opposed by Satanists because it

leads people to God and provides a path to redemption and away from Satan.

Anyway why bother to hate them when there are always atheists around ready to

do that for you? Same applies for non-Abrahamic religions, once the esoteric

practices are copied and repackaged by Satanists then the atheists will be free to

do what they want.

This brings me to the issue of non-Christian religions and sects such as Islam,

Hinduism, etc. As the world gets smaller in regards to movement of its

populations, so does the impact of race, culture and religion. Atheists have taken

aim at Islam and Hinduism in recent times because of their growth in the Western

world and the morals that are adhered to by its faithful. I was never bothered by

Hinduism, probably because I knew little about it. Islam however did come under

the spotlight of Satanists some 20 years ago, maybe in part due to the first Gulf

War but also because of the fact that the God of Islam is the God of Abraham.

Indeed there were Satanic rituals I participated in where the Suras of the Koran

were read backwards, although as a Satanist I was concerned about the impact

of this brand of faith in Australia and the world in general it was not a pressing

issue with me or any Satanists I knew. As talk increased among the Satanist

grapevine we decided to use divination to ask for advice from the realm of Satan

(runes were the preferred choice and accurate). The answer we received was

that we could try but we were not strong enough to fight Islam, the time to do

such things would come later. Again the war against the religion of Islam is being

taken up by the atheists for various reasons; Satanists don't have to lift a finger.

Do theistic Satanists have an affiliation with atheists? Absolutely not! Truth is that

theistic Satanists hate and despise atheists, even non-theistic “Satanists” are

hated. They are seen as atheists who make a parody of Satan and use him as an

excuse to justify their bad behaviour to themselves. Theistic Satanists hate

atheists just as much as any theistic Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, etc. When I

was a Satanist I only tolerated them on the basis that “the enemy of my enemy is

a friend.” Atheism was just a means to an end and nothing else and atheists are

disposable. I personally found them to be rude, obnoxious, arrogant and

disrespectful and by and large I still do.

Do I believe that all atheists are indeed “atheist”? I've pondered this on many

occasion, this is because some of them kept association with us. Yet they would

proclaim God doesn't exist and yet hate him with such fanaticism they would

make us look pale in comparison. The only answers I could come up with is

either they want a shot at the title of Adam Satan (yeah good luck with that you

punks), or they believe in some sort of alien ancestry for human beings. After all

they use “science” as an explanation for all existence, so I suppose you can

throw aliens in with it to make it interesting for geeks. Yet I do have to add that a

fringe group of Luciferians do actually believe that Jehovah, Lucifer, and all the

angels are indeed aliens. Science fiction has a lot to answer for. So what are so

called “Luciferians?” I always believed that they were strict Satanic monotheists

who worshipped Lucifer and no one else. But as various sorts of psycho babble

and other quackery has made its way into the sphere of religion, it has been a

case of having beliefs and terms redefined to suit a certain agenda. This is much

in the way Marxist type dialectic has changed the meaning of words as to their

application in societal matters. These days Luciferianism can mean anything to

anyone, as I understand it those who now call themselves Luciferian are more or

less new age hippy types. You might find this in the attempt by atheists (including

the non-theistic “Satanist” ones) to hijack Pantheism and redefine it to

complement Gaia worship. Apart from that, most Luciferians are just plain

crackers.

One thing I have noticed is the mixture of Satanism and Nazism that is being

pushed as a white supremacist ideology of sorts. This is contradictory; this is the

sort of thing that would be offered up by someone who hasn’t experienced both.

Yes I have been involved in both, but not simultaneously. There is no colour bar

in Satanism; a black Satanist is of equal value as a white one. Although when I

was a Satanist most of the people I associated with were white, there were nonwhites

as well. The ethnic mix roughly corresponded with the area from which the

people I knew came from. So for example if I looked at where the guys lived,

gave them a 1km radius from their house as an “area” and then joined the dots to

make a cohesive single area then the ethnic mix in the guys I knew would be

consistent with the general population of that single area.

If someone was in service to Satan, then as far as I (and other Satanists) was

concerned he was a brother. Adherence to the creed was much more important

than the colour of skin. In theory it should be the same for all religions, I suppose

we were just like the Jews and indeed Muslims in that we cared not for our racial

origins but rather our spiritual state.

I have seen a website called “The Joy of Satan” which uses the Yezidi book “Al

Jilwah” as the holy book of their version of Satanism. The flipside being that the

same people who operate that site are also the same people involved with the

National Socialist Movement (aka NSM based in the U.S.). I don’t know much

about Yezidis except that they practice a religion which views Satan in a much

more positive light than anyone else. Racially speaking the practitioners of

Yezidism are mostly Arab along with some Kurds, they reside largely in northern

Iraq. Doesn’t it seem contradictory to you that a white supremacist group sees

Arabs as their fellow whites or brethren of some sort? So to what do these

people owe their ultimate allegiance? From what I understand the Joy of Satan

adherents haven’t changed since they started but the NSM have lowered their

colour bar. Point being that spiritual belief will usually prevail over physical

differences.

Now there is a sect of Satanism emerging that combines the beliefs of the Yezidi

along with the religious beliefs of Sumeria concerning the Annunaki (those who

were cast to Earth) and the Igigi (those of the Heavens). When you look at

Satanism, it seems to have taken beliefs, creeds, mythologies and other

paraphernalia from a heap of people who were never covered by any of the

Abrahamic faiths in the beginning. So why does todays’ Satanism take in

everything from medieval witchcraft to ancient Sumerian beliefs, creeds and

occult practices? Partly due to incorporation of the various racial groups that

adhere to the Abrahamic faiths, but mostly because Satanism has to. Satanism

was established on a flawed premise by Satan, for humans to try and build upon

that flawed premise will always lead to failure.

Satanism cannot and will not ever ring true; the practices that it steals, corrupts

and incorporates into it are just like bits of sticky tape being used to hold

something together when it is obvious that something else is needed if something

is needed to make an actual repair. Thing is you cannot repair something that

was manufactured faulty; it is the same thing as using sticky tape to hold together

a broken teapot and expecting it to be used in the same manner as a properly

made one.

So should you be worried over forms of Satanism that have been added to,

subtracted from and re-invented 25 times over? In itself as a spiritual creed?

Actually no. What you should be worried about is when it stops being a spiritual

creed and starts becoming a political ideology and a form of government.

Impossible you say? Well when you look at what was and wasn’t allowed or

ignored by governments and communities in the 1950s or even 60s and compare

it to now are you so sure? Why not? There is always some Gen Y dropkick who

thinks she’s young enough to know everything who believes the “whitebread

racist crackers” should learn to be progressive (like wow dude…global warming

man! The earths gonna catch on fire! It’s true! I saw it on TV and read it on a

twitter!).

I suppose I should tell you about my “Nazism”. Actually I never was a Nazi as I

never subscribed to the ideology of the Nazi party. It is a name imposed on me

and countless others by people who claim to be “progressive”. Yes I admit that

I’m something of an old fashioned guy, probably someone who belongs in the

1950s as well as being somewhat conservative. But today that is enough for you

to be labelled racist and a climate change denier, maybe you should look at the

origin of the word “racist” and look into the “Frankfurt School” while you’re at it.

So I never was a Nazi, the word has just been redefined as a label for anyone

who opposes “progress” which itself can mean anything to anyone at any given

time. “Progress” -just another description of groupthink, another catchcry for

people who think in slogans and argue on emotion instead of reason and

rationality. Anyway I’ll tell you about what I’ve learned from “white power” types

and give you an insight later on.

Are there large satanic societies filled with the mega rich, celebrities and

politicians? I've never come across or heard of such groups. Certainly not in

Australia when I was practicing, all I heard about was some small self styled

groups and eclectic mixes of pagans (one of them went by the name of “Temple

of Hecate” but I’m unsure of the specifics as I never had anything to do with

them) as well as Gnostics (proper ones not the new age ones) who got together

to try things out. I just never saw any evidence of the sort of things that you see

in the movies or the stuff conspiracy whackjobs go on about.

But I will add this story from my Satanist days. I was talking to one of the guys at

the Villawood hangout one afternoon and I asked him if he knew any groups that

were doing rituals, at the time I just wanted to participate with others of my faith.

Yes I dare say that I needed to be with others like me and yes Satanists get

lonely too. This guy told me of a few people who get together in Rookwood

Cemetery sometimes on a Thursday night, he said he had been to one of these

hookups but it wasn’t his thing. I wondered if the guys I knew from primary school

were involved in that group as I knew one of them had moved to Flemington

(suburb next to Rookwood). As to why he had moved there? Well that I don’t

know but I could guess.

After getting some basic directions on where to go in the cemetery and a time to

be there I waited until the following Thursday with eager anticipation. There was

no guarantee that anything had been arranged for that night but I went anyway. I

arrived at 8.30 pm and not knowing what to do I just stood around on the corner

at the Lidcombe end on the corner of East Street and Railway looking for any

activity. After seeing nothing happening I then decided to enter the cemetery by

climbing the fence on the north side and made my way towards where the goods

rail line is. After wandering aimlessly for about an hour and seeing nothing or noone

and somewhat lost I decided to give up and leave. Following the goods line

led me back to the fence on the north side; it was just a matter of climbing it and

walking back to Lidcombe station. A couple of times I wondered if I was going to

be stuck in the cemetery overnight, it wasn’t something that I wanted to do. Not

because of the occasional nutjob you might come across, it was because of the

feral dogs that were known to live there.

A few days later I was at the Villawood shops when I came across the guy who

told me about it. After telling him what I had done and how nothing happened, he

told me he would ask around to see what was happening and told me he would

be at the shops on Saturday afternoon if I wanted to ask him. So on the Saturday

I went to Villawood and found him outside the post office. He told me that

Thursday was still the night, but it would be in three weeks time and he would let

me know if anything changed. The three weeks went and from what I was last

told in the previous week, the hookup was still on and the directions were still the

same.

The Thursday night came around and I entered the cemetery the same way

again, but this time I arrived about a quarter past nine. Walking around for a few

minutes I spotted burning candles, so I slowly made my way in that direction. As I

got closer I could make out to be about eight people standing around, one guy

was at the front of the group so I guessed him to be the head of whatever this

was. At the time I didn’t know if I had actually came to the right meeting, the guy

talking wasn’t especially loud and I didn’t think it was my place to join in. So I was

crouching down a distance back just watching, everyone there was dressed in

black so I figured that I was in the right place. Then I heard “In nomine Satanas”

so then I definitely knew that I was, if anyone in the group did see me they chose

not to do anything about it. I was content just to observe and to try to understand

what they were doing; initially I thought it was some type of black mass.

The head of the group was facing south and the others were to his left all facing

west and holding candles, there were two women who were standing closely to

the head and the rest were all men. The head guy was dressed in an outfit like a

catholic monsignor, he had his eyes closed and was mumbling what I assumed

to be Latin. It was then I noticed a couple of men in the group check their

watches, look at the women and then check their watches again. The

“monsignor” seemed to move between gravesites repeating the same thing and

the guys there seemed somewhat bored (and I was too).

It really didn’t take long to make an assumption about this setup, the “monsignor”

was probably a genuine Satanist (of sorts?). The women (at least one of them)

was probably a wife, girlfriend, friend, or something like that of the “monsignor”

and the guys were just tolerating all this because they were hoping for a root at

the end of it all. In all honesty I didn’t know what I was watching and as I didn’t

know anyone involved there just didn’t seem any point in staying. I was only

there for about 20 minutes roughly and I left disappointed, now I knew why the

guy who told me about it never bothered to go back.

It was about six weeks later when I bumped into that guy again, telling him what

happened and asking about what they were actually doing. As to the actual ritual

he didn’t know but apparently it was something to honour Satan. I said I

understood about facing the west and gathered as to why he was speaking in

Latin. But what about moving between gravesites? The answer…?

”He shits on the graves.”

What!?

“He’s desecrating Christian burials.”

Are you for real!?

“That’s why he wears that big skirt.”

Does he actually do any magic?

“I know more magic than he does, you would know more as well.”

Do they have sex orgies?

“Yeah, did you see a woman with brown hair?”

Yeah I saw one with dark hair; I think it was brownish coloured.

“I fucked her.”

Are you going to another one?

“...No.”

The conversation ended there, neither of us wanted to continue it. How can you

feel good about yourself and the choice you made after seeing a buffoon act like

that?

And while I am on this subject, homosexuals might think Satanism is approving

of their sexual lifestyle. If a homosexual reasons that if God disapproves of them

it must be the case that Satan must approve of them, then they are wrong.

Although there is no specific tenet in Satanism that either approves or

disapproves of homosexuality, the same social prejudices of general society still

apply. Are there homosexual Satanists? More than likely, just as there are

homosexuals who adhere to any religious faith. I never came across any openly

gay Satanists, but it is along the lines of “don't ask don't tell.” No-one really wants

to know what happens in your bedroom and no-one wants to have a mincer in

their social group.

Another misconception is that Satanists have orgies all the time; if you join up

expecting a non stop sexfest again you will be disappointed. Did I ever go to

Roman type orgies? No, and far as I know the “hardcore” guys didn’t especially

look for such things. Sure you’d take a root whenever the opportunity came, but I

think the same thing applies to everyone regardless of what you believe.

Looking back on that pack of clowns in the cemetery I think that I was witnessing

the beginning of the end of theistic Satanism, or at least its loss of domination of

Satanism. Most people who call themselves Satanists are (as far as I’m

concerned) not actually Satanists. These people subscribe to the Church of

Satan/LaVey type of Satanism which is non-theistic; they believe that Satan is an

“inner subconscious” that resides in all of us. In other words “we are all Satan”

(another example of brain dead groupthink), this is outright atheism and the

reason why theistic Satanists hate Atheists. This is the same as saying that

you’re a Muslim but don’t believe in Allah, it is a complete contradiction and the

same as describing yourself as an “Atheist Christian.”

I never encountered any of these types of Atheists (well that’s what they are)

when I was a Satanist. I did have a look at the Satanic Bible and thought that it

was well, lame. It’s something I might have coveted as a 13 year old, but that’s

about it. The people who cherish the Satanic Bible seem to be the same people

who are/were Goths, play dungeons & dragons, come from upper middle class

families while espousing Marxism and study “arts” degrees in university. I have

come across a couple of these types of “Satanists” in recent times and quite

frankly am horrified as to their gullibility and stupidity. They have no concept of

spirituality and do believe that all humans are in fact animals and nothing else

(well apart from themselves of course…maybe…depends who’s saying it). They

also view themselves as the highest beings in their reality, they actually believe

they are gods or believe they should be treated as such.

Here I have to ask for your patience in trying to explain where all these types of

things fit into each other. Sometimes there aren’t enough words or ways to

explain it in one go. So bear with me as I go off on a tangent, I may not know

everything but I will tell you everything that I know. Atheism is a subject that has

to be dealt with.

Chapter 6

As far as I’m concerned the term “atheist” should simply describe someone who

doesn’t believe in the existence of any gods whatsoever (or indeed the occult or

‘supernatural’). Yet we have people who describe themselves as atheists who

hold a specific hatred for the God of Abraham or Jehovah. Now how does one

hate something which they claim doesn’t exist? I don’t believe that the tooth fairy

exists but I feel no need to start movements to enforce my belief on others, nor

do I feel the need to call children “ignorant” if they do believe in it. Atheists seek

to eradicate all Christian teaching, morals, values and ideas (as well as Islamic

and Jewish ones, but the priority is that of Christianity first) throughout the world

but especially in Western countries and yet have absolutely nothing derogatory to

say about non-Abrahamic faiths at all for the most part. Do these people sound

like genuine ‘atheists’ to you? Believe me they are not, so let’s actually go

through their beliefs and categorize them properly.

First of all there are people deemed to be atheist simply because they are not

religious. They are believers but practice a secular lifestyle, some people are

deists who believe in the existence of God but do not subscribe to a particular

religion or believe that he takes an interest in this world. These people are more

correctly called “practicing atheists” or more simply just called ‘secular’. They do

not subscribe to the “theology” of atheism, just the lifestyle.

Next we have those who could be described as “scientific atheists”, they simply

don’t believe in God because they cannot find any scientific evidence for his

existence. If there was such evidence they would change their mind, whether or

not they would be secular is a different matter. The reality is that they are

agnostic, they don’t necessarily disbelieve in God they are just waiting for the

evidence. Once you take the secular and agnostic sections out of the atheist

movement you see that the core of it is maintained by the “theological” atheists.

This is the realm of Marxist academics, pseudo-intellectual philosophers and

sanctimonious speaking professors. The theological atheist category is correctly

divided up into three categories- anti-theist, misotheist and maltheist. However it

would also be correct to look at these people as being in a single category as all

three categories are practiced simultaneously or at least in quick succession. I’ll

start with the first and then show you how one leads into the other, the first is

“anti-theism”.

Anti-theism is the active opposition to the belief in God. More correctly it is the

active opposition to the religions of the Abrahamic faiths. Anti-theists seldom if

ever say anything bad against paganism, pantheism or Satanism for that matter,

these people are also referred to as ‘strong’ atheists and ‘militant’ atheists. They

seek to propagate the rejection of anything remotely of the Abrahamic faiths

amongst believers. Their methods of propagation are through the means of

“education” as in the teaching of evolution in primary schools or the teaching of

so-called philosophy in the universities.

Yet at the same time the “educators” seek to eradicate anything within the

education system that is remotely religious. Every year we see these bitter

creatures use the offices of government and judiciary to attack displays of faith

during Easter and Christmas. They specifically use the function of the state to

forcibly instil atheist beliefs into children as part of the education system.

So what can anti-theism best be described as? Is it an anti-religion that functions

as a religion?

I tend to look at it this way.

Take the issue of anti-Semitism, on the surface it would appear that the

propagators of this are:

1. Neo-Nazi and other white supremacists.

2. Christian fundamentalists.

3. Islamic fundamentalists.

4. Anti-Zionist and pro-Palestinian militants.

5. Bigots and those with personal beefs.

The first four propagators actually have a stated agenda; their problem with the

Jews is that they are simply in the way of the propagators’ end goals. They have

objective goals whereas the bigots’ goals are subjective; to them it is a personal

issue not a “movement”. To apply this example in relation to the anti-theists it

would be better to look at what the Abrahamic faiths oppose in order to see what

the anti-theist group consists of.

The Abrahamic faiths oppose:

1. Satanism and related occult practices.

2. Sexual promiscuity including incest and other perversion.

3. Atheist forms of government and society.

4. Abandonment of personal responsibility.

5. The rejection of the family unit.

6. Arrogance and self centredness.

Out of this list only the first could be considered an objective goal for anti-theists

because it is an end in itself, the rest are solely only of personal benefit to their

adherents and yet are interconnected. Any benefit to others along the way

because of their indulgence of these vices would be accidental. Whereas with

Satanism they are serving an entity they acknowledge as a superior life form to

themselves. The Satanists would be the true anti-theists here and even then they

are not anti-theist, they just disagree as to who should be God. The others are

just filthy, base people attempting to justify their putrid desires to themselves.

They are wrong and they know it.

The next stage for the anti-theist that wishes to go ‘up the chain’ is misotheism.

Remember that anti-theism is just the active opposition to the beliefs of the

Abrahamic faiths or a “hatred of belief of God”. It is the opposition to the belief in

God and the moral code that its’ adherents live by. It is opposing those principles

and laws that are from the Abrahamic faiths, it is about getting rid of them

altogether so that they will be forgotten. Anti-theists hope that in time that God

will be forgotten, but for some it is not quick enough. Misotheism literally means

“hatred of belief in God” and this is what these people engage in.

Does it not seem odd to you that on one hand someone will say that God does

not exist and yet on the other hand will spew bile against him? Although one can

claim that this sort of activity is just a part of the anti-theist arsenal to upset

believers and try to cause doubt within them (doubt is a good weapon). You have

impersonal attacks by anti-theists such as “God is racist, sexist, homophobic

etc.” and other pseudo-intellectual Marxist mantras. You also have personal

attacks by misotheists blaming God for all the ills in the world and especially their

own lives.

They also then proceed to blame the believers in God and their faith. It is easier

to vent their spleen publicly at believers than to do so at a God which they

publicly claim does not exist. It’s a matter of “I’ll show you!” much in the way of an

acrimonious break up between two people. In effect they are establishing or else

continuing a private personal relationship with an entity which they publicly

proclaim doesn’t exist. They seem to redefine this ‘relationship’ and be living their

own fairytale which they condemn others for supposedly doing.

I’ll use this example to try and explain this situation.

You have Israel which borders Syria. Syria refuses to recognize the existence of

Israel and yet has been to war with it and continues to do on and off via proxies.

Syria wants Israel destroyed while at the same time says it doesn’t exist. How

can Syria officially say that Israel doesn’t exist when they share a border? Does

Syria deny the existence of Israel for its own benefit? Or is it doing this in order to

propagate the cause of someone else (such as the Palestinians)?

I’ll ask this question. “Who would be the one who benefits from humans denying

God”?

Are misotheists really just agnostics who have come to the conclusion that God

must exist because they cannot account for their own personal flaws? In theory

misotheists should be frothing hate about Satan and pagan gods and yet they do

not. How is it that only one God is subject to their hatred? Why is it that the God

of Abraham is infinitely more important than any others? Could it be they do not

recognize any others as the GOD? If you recognise only one entity as the

supreme God and proclaim your hatred for it and yet claim it doesn’t exist, what

would be the purpose of such a thing? Does the misotheist honestly expect to

turf out Jehovah from the heavens and run the show himself?

Absolutely not! As to running the known physical realm and being a god in

Assiah? Well a delusion to such a fantasy could be deemed to be rational; you

only have to look at the types of people that try to get into politics and

government. Little does the misotheist know that he has gone down a path that

will end up serving an entity of which the question of its existence he simply

could not bring himself to deal with (at least publicly).

Would it be fair to say that the misotheist hates the concept of God because they

know that they will never be God? It’s just like republicans who hate the

monarchy; they don’t especially have a hatred for the Queen. They hate the fact

that they will never hold that position and so seek to abolish it. After all, if one can

go from denying the existence of God to acknowledging him a personal enemy

then would befriending Satan be such a big step? As I said earlier for one to go

from nominal believer to even a reluctant Satanist there has to be a point of

neutrality for conversion to occur. Atheism is that point of neutrality.

The next stage from misotheism is maltheism (or dystheism); basically it’s the

acknowledgment of the existence of God but you think he’s evil. That’s rightblack

is white, good equals bad, one plus one equals twenty-five and God is evil.

If you weren’t a Satanist when you started this game, well you pretty much are

one now. Or more correctly, a non-practicing or nominal Satanist. Going back to

the break up of the anti-theist group into segments, once you weed out the

perverts, opportunists and nutjobs you are left with a core of committed

Satanists. In the period before I converted to Satanism the second time I was as

atheist as you can get (at least in a practical way).

Having been both a believer and Satanist beforehand I could judge that I was at

a point of balance between the two. Yes I knew that both existed but I chose that

I wanted nothing to do with either of them, while I was in balance in regards to

being indifferent to both of them I was not in balance myself. Even if I seemingly

was in a neutral state in spiritual terms, the fact was that I physically am in

Assiah.

My affinity was with the world Satan and I both share, the balance I had was

tedious because I had cut off the other three worlds from my life. If a bunch of

Christians had reached out to me at that time maybe I would have gone their

way. Apart from one “Jesus is god, give us your money” cult there was no-one,

everyone around me was the same. Atheists may not start out as evil, but you

can only keep your balance for so long.

Now I said before that no misotheist could realistically ever hope to run the show,

as in have power over creation. Still they may entertain the thought that they

could be some sort of man-god. They couldn’t be the same as Satan because he

is a fallen angel, but in theory they could be of a similar power status as him.

Again I will state that Satan cannot create, he has no magic abilities per se. His

so-called “magic” is the ability to steal, corrupt, pervert and manipulate that which

is available to everyone else. May I put forth this possibility?

Could it be possible for a maltheist magician to overthrow Satan and take his

place? I can offer the following answers, firstly yes it could be possible but then

what would be the benefit of doing so? The maltheist magician in separating

himself from God would also be separating himself from the other three worlds.

He would be in the same position as Satan is now in that he would not have the

ability to create, but another catch would be that the maltheist magician is a

physical being in the world of Assiah; not a “spiritual” or non-physical one like

Satan.

Unless the magician can achieve Satans’ plan of separating Assiah from the

other worlds as well as guaranteeing that he has the loyalty of the “spirit world”

demons of Assiah, he cannot. He would have to have sole absolute power over

things such as reincarnation and immortality. The only way I could see this

happen is if he were to somehow merge the physical and non-physical worlds of

Assiah, again it could be just like we imagine Hell now (but then again maybe

not, there is the possibility that things would stay the same as they are now. But

I’d think it unlikely).

For a second answer I will say no. No man has ever successfully fought against

God; the only way that could theoretically be possible would be if that magician

were somehow able to create of his own accord. Some people will use “chaos

magic” as an example of being able to do so. Chaos magic is a type of “atheist

magic” in that the practitioner doesn’t use any deities of other religions; instead

he uses archetypes of his own selection. In a way he imagines his own Atziluth

(plane of spirit), assigns his own deities that he has selected to give power to the

ritual that he will perform. Personally speaking from what I’ve read about chaos

magic it seems to be an atheist copy of the kabbalah, myself I never practiced it

because it seemed too unstable. I’ve heard of people using cartoon characters

as the archetypes, chaos magic seems to me to be more dangerous to its

practitioners than what its worth

Choosing imaginary gods in the mind in order to change ones reality on earth

and accepting those “gods” as higher beings is to place no value in ones own

soul. Is this not what Lucifer wants when he expects Jehovah to worship him?

Don’t touch chaos magic, despite the hype that surrounds it I’ve never known any

success resulting from it.

Just back to the “man-god” for a moment. I knew of a group that was based in

Sweden (I don’t know if it’s still going), that proclaimed itself Satanist and offered

to teach other how to “evolve” into a man-god being (for USD $500 of course).

From what I gathered the “magic” lessons they gave out were useless and

seemed to be nothing more than a scam. Whether it was or not I leave to you,

but the bad word of mouth resulting from it obviously wasn’t good for business,

whatever the intention of that business was. So for groups like this is has

become a case of ‘make the definitions to define the results.’ All that is required

is some psychology and a good dose of Hegelian dialectic to brainwash people

into believing they are turning in man-gods. Seems like the usual modus

operandi of all buck hustling cults.

Still continuing with maltheism, there is something else I want to mention in case

you haven't heard about it (though most likely you have). It is the issue of

Gnosticism, this could be called a thinking mans maltheism. Basically Gnosticism

goes something like this; there is a true god who is purely spiritual and beyond

our comprehension (this is the same belief in voodoo and deism for that matter).

On the other hand there is a demi-creator who created the physical world,

trapped spiritual beings in material bodies (meaning us) and separated them

from the true god. To put it quite frankly the God of Abraham (Jehovah) is not the

true god but a lesser god who created the material world (Assiah) and trapped

spiritual entities within it (humans) to use their creative energy for his own

satisfaction and amusement. The movie "The Matrix" is basically a modern

version of this story.

Does this story make you feel uncomfortable? This is the exact plan and

description of what Satan wants to do. Gnosticism and Abrahamic monotheism

are mirror opposites of each other, the former says Jehovah is evil –the latter

says he is beyond good and evil. Here we have two identical systems serving

two diametrically opposed ends, the end result is harmful in that it causes doubt

among believers. You may not seek to attract Satan into your life but your doubt

will. Make no mistake in believing that Satanism (theistic) is something that

popped up forty or so years ago, it is the oldest religion going. For the record I

will say that I believe that Jehovah is the true and only GOD ever. He is not some

sort of "half-god" or evil entity, but there is no point in trying to avoid dealing with

this issue or pretending it doesn't exist.

There are reasons I don't believe that Gnosticism is "the true faith. Gnostics

describe Jehovah as a demiurge (half creator) created by negligence by the "true

god." What sort of true god allows accidents? Or is unable to rectify that accident

for that matter?

Yet on the other hand Gnostics say that their god didn't actually create anything.

Instead the Aeons (Archangels might be the closest comparison, or loas in

voodoo) were caused to exist by the emanation of this god. As the emanation

from this being expanded it came under less control and became perverted and

corrupted. What kind of god could emanate a presence which it could not control,

which then resulted in creation by perversion?

Different sects of Gnosticism have different beliefs. Some Gnostic sects say that

Jesus was a prophet sent by the "true" god to liberate man from the demiurge.

Other sects say that Jesus was sent by the demiurge as a fake prophet. To me it

seems that whatever Gnosticism originally was it has been perverted to achieve

a specific aim of making Jehovah the "bad guy”. Some Gnostics consider

"ignorance" to be the only sin. How many times have you had an atheist call you

"ignorant" because of your beliefs?

Also we should take into account the characteristics of this "true god". He can

emanate but not create, and that which he emanates and causes something to

be created he has no control over. He does not act upon the earth, nor has

shown any ability to do so. He wants to "liberate" this world from its current order

of existence. I don't know about you, but this "true god" seems like Satan to me.

Is it at all possible that Gnosticism was an anti-pagan creed? That in fact it was

pro-Abrahamic rather than anti-Abrahamic? Is it possible that the original

Gnostics were describing in their theology what Satan has always been

attempting to do since the creation of man? If we still accept the words and

warnings from the ancients from the Biblical times what difference does it make

as to whether they were Jew or Greek? Atheists and other "intellectual" types still

endlessly memorize and quote the Ancient Greek philosophers and yet at the

same time claim that the prophets of the Biblical times were either liars,

schizophrenic or else simply did not exist. We as believers cannot afford to be as

arrogant and selective as these creatures. Yes Gnosticism will test your faith and

yes Gnosticism will cause you doubt. However if you examine Gnosticism and

emerge with your faith intact you will know that no matter what the stooges of

Satan (or atheism in all its forms for that matter) throw in your direction, you will

see straight through it. At the minimum you will certainly question such things,

which unfortunately a lot of people don’t these days.

Was I ever into Gnosticism in my Satanist days? To be honest no, I found it

interesting to read about but also found that it made my creed complicated more

than it needed to be. The problem with spiritual beliefs these days is that they

have been added to, subtracted from and blended with each other to such an

extent that no-one knows what creed they are dealing with or what it was based

on.

What passes as Gnosticism these days has absolutely nothing to do with the

teachings of the Essenes or Ancient Greeks. Todays’ so called Gnosticism is in

no way related to ancient religions or philosophies, it is just another form of

Thelema and ripped-off yoga practices. This supposed “Gnosticism” has made a

heap of money for a heap of conmen, I say to you to check things for yourself

before getting involved with these types of things. I will even go so far as to say

don’t accept what I’ve written so far as gospel, check it for yourselves!

As for the godless claiming that the words of the Bible are just made up stories

and lies I will state this. When I was a practicing magician in both black and white

magic my most trusted tool was the Bible (both Old and New Testaments). As

long as I had the Bible I could plan and perform any ritual. I would quote the

words of Jehovah and Jesus in my rituals and they never failed me. I also used

the Koran to a lesser extent. If they were lies the rituals would have failed, don't

accept the words of atheists. The words of atheists will always fail you, that's

what they are designed to do.

So far in this chapter we've gone from atheism being just a belief of "there just

isn't a god" to "there is a god but he's bad". I'm not saying that every atheist will

reach this stage overnight, if at all. What I am saying is that like digging a hole for

gold the more you need, the more you dig. If your "atheism" is just a way to

excuse your personal leanings such as promiscuity and other vices, then you

don't have to dig too much.

However if your atheism has come about because of some intellectual rationality,

you will have to dig deeper because you will not be able to accept a definite end

of the truth. If your truth has a definite ending, what happens when your quest is

over? If you believe that you know everything that there is then the remainder of

your physical life will be quite boring.

I look at the mega rich who despite having all the money that they have are

consumed to make even more. It seems that their entire purpose in life is to get

more money even though they could not spend it all before they die. In fact they

could probably guarantee that their grandchildren would never have to get out of

bed ever. For these people the end goal has been achieved but they continue the

quest because they have nothing else. Unless you have that money how can you

convince yourself that you are your own god when the only power you have over

your life on this earth is the ability to kill yourself?

All of your money becomes worthless when you're dead. If you believe that you

are your own god you will attempt to be everyone elses god as well. The only

way you could force this is by coercion and terror, the very things that "atheists"

accuse Jehovah of.

So far we have seen that atheism is basically an anti-Abrahamic creed, it doesn't

actually seem to be in favour of anything (except for destroying ‘the order of

things’?). Starting off as "god doesn't exist" to "Abrahamic religions are evil" to

"the God of Abraham is evil and is not worthy of being a God" the question to be

asked is "Who is worthy of being the true god?" Notice how atheists avoid the

term "Satan"? It is impossible to find an atheist who will openly slag off at Satan

in the same manner as they do at Jehovah and Jesus.

Let's go back to Satans' game plan; he seeks to cut off this world from the others.

He can achieve this by stopping the belief in Jehovah by the earths' population.

This can be achieved by convincing people that either Jehovah doesn't exist as

well as discrediting the Abrahamic faiths. Or else he can make Jehovah a hated

entity by all the earths' population, just like Satan is now. He doesn't need to

convince you he is the "true god". If he gets to complete his plan this will happen

by default, as long as he gets you to believe in anything else but Jehovah.

Anything can be offered because if the plan is acting out as it should, then

anything else will be a short term deal. If even a deal at all.

Did I promote Atheism? Of course I did! The best way to do so was by word of

mouth; I could start off talking to someone about Christmas for example and lead

it to something like “What’s Santa Claus got to do with anything? Having to

spend money for a fairytale!” You would get complete agreement with this all the

time, then I would throw in “Do you honestly believe in this God thing? All we do

is buy overpriced junk for kids, get into debt for it and then supposed to thank

God for it. I ain’t rich enough to be a Christian so why bother?”

I pulled these sorts of conversations in shopping centres during the lead up to

Christmas, when people are stressing about finances during that time. They get

upset, angry and look for someone to blame, you can throw in that they are

practicing atheists as well. Whether you point to God, Jesus or the church, it is

certain they would be a focus of anger at least in the short term. When they used

up every line of credit they had to buy crap at extortionate prices, they then took

that anger home with them. Christmas, Easter, lack of pre-marital sex, whatever,

you can always find something to blame on God just as you can always find

something to blame on someone.

So where do we end up after all this is said? I do not wish to make this overly

complicated for you, but as you are reading this I believe I should tell you that

which I know and believe. May I suggest to you that I don't know what you as an

individual know or believe? Hopefully this book will be read by a variety of people

with a variety of beliefs. By now you will realise that this isn't a "feel good" book

for monotheists like myself, if I offend anyone well so be it.

Chapter 7

How magic works

It would be unfair of me not to tell you any aspect of how I learned, understood

and used magic in my life. After all unless I told you everything I know and

actually did, then the story that I’ve told you would not add up.

So in this chapter I will be trying to explain to you the more metaphysical aspects

in relation to this world (and the worlds that we know of). In order to do that I will

try to give you a crash course of some aspects of kabbalah, so just indulge me a

little. I never was a practitioner of “practical kabbalah” in its pure orthodox form,

probably because I felt I had been soiled and was not worthy to touch it. Still I

used various aspects of it in my preferred practice of the Shem Ha-Mephorash.

It is worth your while to learn about kabbalah to gain a greater picture about the

way things are. To me kabbalah is both an occult system and philosophy for

independent rational thinking; it takes Jehovah and uses archetypes to illustrate

his various aspects. Much like you may be known by different names and titles in

different circumstances but at the end of the day you are the same person.

These archetypes are symbolically linked to the Sephiroth (spheres) that are

present in what is generally called the “Tree of Life” (or more accurately the Tree

of Life and Death of the knowledge of Good and Evil). To explain it another way,

the Sephiroth are to the kabbalah as the planets are to astrology.

Kabbalistic magic can incorporate planetary magic and astrology, but this is not

mandatory. Planets by themselves don’t affect anything – they are inanimate

objects. However they are used to measure cycles in the same way the Sun and

orbit of both the Earth and Moon are used to measure time. Just like our star

signs are measured by alignments and orbits of certain planets, they cannot be

replicated by any other means. After all, are not the days of the week named

after various “gods” and their aspects which are symbolised by planets? In

addition to star signs and days there are herbs, colours, incense, emotions,

hours and even angels and demons that are deemed to be symbolically

governed by planets.

The general teaching about kabbalah goes something like this; there are ten

individual sephira that are in a specific top to bottom order of ranking on the Tree

of Life.

1. Kether.

2. Chokmah.

3. Binah.

4. Chesed.

5. Geburah.

6. Tiphareth.

7. Netzach.

8. Hod.

9. Yesod.

10. Malkuth.

Kether is the top of the tree and Malkuth is the bottom where the tree meets the

earth (Malkuth means kingdom). Now the tree is divided into 3 columns –left,

middle and right, or feminine, neutral and masculine, or even negative, neutral

and positive. I’ll use the positive/negative classification, when I use the term

negative I don’t mean in the evil way. Think of it in electrical terms with neutral as

the earthing wire.

Binah, Geburah and Hod are in the negative column.

Chokmah, Chesed and Netzach are in the positive column.

Kether, Tiphareth, Yesod and Malkuth are in the neutral column.

Once you place the sephiroth in ranking and in their columns you will see that it

forms a lightening bolt type diagram if traced from top to bottom. This is how

magic from the kabbalah works, it comes from the sephira from which you work

in because of its characteristics and earths itself into this world by Malkuth. All of

the sephiroth have virtues and vices apart from Kether and Chokmah which do

not have vices. The kabbalah is about balance as is shown by the order of the

tree. It is good for a society to have a spirit of freedom amongst its people, but

too much freedom will eventually lead to a lack of it when some members of that

society believe they are free to take away others freedom. Virtues become vices

when overused; this is why balance is extremely important regarding kabbalah

and the tree.

Kabbalah magic is generally performed by the magician in the world of Briah.

This is the realm of the Archangels and this is done by using colours and

symbols of the particular sephira corresponding to that world. So the magician is

making a symbolic connection between the Archangels’ world (Briah) and his

world (Assiah). If the magic ritual is performed correctly it will pass from Briah

(Creation) through Yetzirah (Formation) to Assiah (Physical). Each world

functions according to the tree model, so try to imagine that magic works roughly

like the power passing through serial bulbs on the Christmas tree lights.

But there are 4 worlds – not 3: the highest world (in using the word “world” I

mean to describe a plane of existence) is called Atziluth. This is a world of pure

spirit and comes under the direct personal rulership of Jehovah himself. I

suppose I would describe it as the world of spiritual intellect as I haven’t found or

can convey a better description. I’ll try this to help you understand where I’m

coming from.

OK, picture a place like a shop or similar that you know of and regularly visit and

let’s make it a reasonable distance away, say 5 miles. Now how long would it

take you to get there and enter the premises? So starting from the time you get

out of your chair to the time you get into the shop (and if you are driving you have

to consider traffic and parking), how long would it take? Let’s say 20 minutes for

arguments sake, but I bet that you have already pictured that entire journey in

your mind by the time that you have read this. How long did that take? Twenty

seconds?

If you went to that shop it would be because you had a need (we can use a

pharmacy for example). So you had a need (Atziluth) and pictured how that need

could be fulfilled (Briah), you then pictured how to bring that fulfilled need to you

practically (Yetzirah) and then had the need fulfilled in the physical (Assiah). Or

in other words you were at home feeling sick, realised that the pharmacy sold

something that would help you so you drove there to buy what you needed and

then drove home to take the medicine and feel better. All this went through your

mind within a few seconds and yet you had not moved an inch from your chair

while moaning and holding your stomach.

You are physically in Assiah and yet you have the spirituality and intellect to

access the other worlds in due order, it is a continuous cycle of thinking and

indeed being. Don’t let any godless fuck tell you otherwise.

Back to the sephiroth, now I’ll make things a bit more complicated. There are

four sephiroth I will now mention, they are not usually considered in general

cabbalistic magic because they are not “workable” by magicians. One of them is

called Daath; it separates the top three sephiroth (Kether, Chokmah and Binah)

from the rest of the tree. It functions as a type of “firewall” to separate the “holy

trinity” sephiroth from the not-so-holy others. It is usually referred to as the abyss

in that once you cross over an abyss you go up a level as compared to anything

to have gone through before. I myself don’t find it to be especially true, but then

again that’s just me.

Above Kether are the other three sephiroth, again ranked from highest to lowest.

1. Ain (Nothingness).

2. Ain Soph (Limitlessness).

3. Ain Soph Aur (Limitless Light).

These sephiroth are truly the most abstract concept, all three are degrees of

negative existence. Trying to demonstrate the sephira of Ain is essentially trying

to give an example on the negative existence of nothingness. Although I have

heard about magicians trying to work in Ain Soph Aur, as far as I know there is

no ritual that has ever worked. These three sephiroth are beyond the

comprehension of the human mind. Don’t confuse the negative existence of

those 3 sephira with the negative existence with the likes of Satan. With these

sephira there is nothing to corrupt or pervert because there is nothing to pervert

or corrupt, there is no form within them - these are realms of void.

Now we move onto the four planes of existence and whose' realm they are;

1. Atziluth –the plane of spirit, the realm of God.

2. Briah –the plane of creation, the realm of Archangels.

3. Yetzirah –the plane of formation, the realm of Angels.

4. Assiah –the plane of the physical world, the realm of ourselves and demons.

As I’ve shown before these four planes work together in all things in a type of

circular cycle. When we have a need for something we are thinking (whether you

actually think in Atziluth is another thing, it is just a case of your intellect telling

your body) in the plane of Atziluth. From there we have a concept of what we

want in Briah and from there we formulate how we can acquire that need in

Yetzirah, the plans so to speak. The result is what we get in Assiah, the nonphysical

becomes physical and then it starts all over again. Satanism doesn’t

deal with the first three planes, it can’t. What you should realise is that Satan

cannot actually create; he can only use what’s available to everyone else. Yes he

can cause you to get what you want but it actually wasn’t his in the first place,

essentially he is a pay per order thief. Satanism strictly operates within our

physical world although there is a spiritual/metaphysical impetus behind it.

Now I’ll try to explain where Satan and his demons come into it. Satan was an

Archangel, his world was Briah but he along with his followers were expelled into

our world Assiah. This world is just as much his world as it is ours, but for him it

is a prison. As he is no longer in Briah therefore he cannot create (fact is only

God can bring forth creation from the void), nor is he a human. His existence in

this world is essentially a negative existence, much like a shadow.

So let’s take an overview of this world which is Assiah, the physical plane which

includes the universe and all within it. We humans are a neutral existence; we

have the ability to be good (positive) or evil (negative) but our natural state is to

be balanced between the two (neutral). There is also Jehovah who is beyond

good and evil, his world is Atziluth the world of pure spirit. He acts upon this

world through his Archangels whose world is Briah, the world of creation.

Creation is the positive aspect of existence and our link to this world is made

possible by our faith and practices relating to our faith.

Then we have Satan and his demons that are the negative aspect, they are in

this world because they have no choice. In all of this there is a model for balance

in Assiah, but if faith in creation is destroyed the scale will tip in favour of the

negative. The negative in itself cannot create, it can only pervert. You might be

tempted to look at the negative column of the Tree of Life and take a sephirah

like Binah and see it in the same (lack of) light, but the sephirah is balanced

because it has a virtuous side as well as a vice side. It is balanced as the tree

itself is balanced, sure you can take one of the lesser parts and declare it to be

negative but you will find it has an opposite which complements it and makes it

balanced.

The only 2 sephiroth that do not have a vice are Kether and Chokmah, the former

is neutral and the latter is positive. I can just guess and say that once you get into

these 2 that you have no need or avenue for vice, but I didn’t make or invent

them so I really have no idea as to why they don’t. Ask God not me.

The Tree of Life operates in all 4 worlds insofar as humans can access and use

the Tree model in those worlds. So using a sephira such as “Geburah” for

example, there is a Geburah of Atziluth as well as a Geburah of Briah, of

Yetzirah and Assiah. The characteristics of Geburah doesn’t change, rather it is

the application of the characteristics of Geburah as to achieve the desired result

by the person practicing the magic.

I'll use this analogy to try and explain the working of magic.

Let's say that there are two people in two different countries using the internet,

one is in a developed country and the other is in a third world country. The

person in the third world country has a need and uses the internet to try and find

a product for that need. The person then finds that the product can be found in a

developed country but is unsure if that is the right product, so then that person

decides to establish contact with someone in that developed country to ask about

that product. The person in the third world country establishes a contact with the

person in the developed country and makes an acquaintance of that person.

We'll call the person in the third world country -Pedro and the person in the

developed country -Mark.

Pedro tells Mark of his problem and asks if he can do something to help. Mark

can do something to help but can only go by what Pedro tells him. If Pedro is

vague about what he needs then Mark may send him the wrong product or no

product at all. If Pedro is rude, demanding or insincere about what he needs then

Mark will send him nothing. If Pedro uses a catalogue in reference to what he

wants and asks in a polite manner in a way that could not be misinterpreted, then

Mark will help but Pedro has to provide some sort of payment as well as a postal

address to send the product.

Now put yourself in the position of Pedro and either Jehovah, his Archangels or

Angels as Mark. Pedros' request and prayer constitutes a ritual, all prayer is in

effect a type of magical ritual. Only when it does succeed does it become "magic"

or a "miracle". Just because you contact someone in an advanced country

doesn't mean that they are experts in everything. Most prayer fails because

people are vague in what they need and they do not provide a means in order to

have their need fulfilled (postal address). Addressing your prayers toward "God"

whenever you need something and not bothering to pray the rest of the time will

not help your cause. I find it distressing when people ask for all sorts of stupid

things and when they don't get it blame God for their failings. Stupid stuff such as

when people will pray for a new car even though their current car functions okay

but just doesn't have a DVD player in it. Or else pray for money in order to go to

the casino and just expect it to appear at the end of the bed one morning. In

magic we combine the metaphysical as well as the physical, to establish a bridge

between the worlds in order to bring creation into this world. Just as you conceive

a plan and design to fulfil a need before you make it a physical reality, not vice

versa. This is what magic is essentially about.

I remember once on an internet forum concerning magic there was a thread

about Christian prayer and its success rate, although some of the forum posters

had some sort of bias against Christianity the overall belief was that only about

1% of prayer actually produced anything. When I thought about it I too believed

that was accurate, after all most Christian churches completely ignore the

metaphysical aspect in relation to prayer and ritual. All they seem to do is ask

Jesus for money and when he doesn’t shell out they ask each other for it. First of

all it is not the job of Jesus to splash you in cash. Secondly Jesus practiced the

faith of Moses of which the Kabbalah is a part, Christians ignore this altogether.

Third, Jesus is not God and he is not the creator of all existence – Jehovah is.

Yes there have been “miracles” but they have been the result of correct prayer

and Gods’ grace. Asking Jesus to do x,y and z for you in an instant is wrong, yes

by all means ask him to intercede on your behalf to Jehovah. When you do so

you might put some actual thought into what you are asking, if what you are

asking is going to be trivial and flippant (need some moolah for whores man!) you

might seriously reconsider. Don’t put it past Jehovah to give you a kick up the

backside and give you a lesson you’ll never forget. Hey, I ended up eating out of

rubbish bins for my wrongdoing and got a good lesson the very hard way.

Be respectful, seriously think out the consequences of what may/may not

happen and get an overview before you go ahead. Also take into consideration

“the greater scheme of things”, you may wish to get a sum of money (there is

actually nothing wrong in asking for this, at least that I know of) to help others,

charities, etc. But how disciplined are you? What you may have planned before

you get the money and how you spend it afterwards may be completely different.

Don’t think you can pull a fast one over God by saying one thing to get money

while planning to spend it in an inappropriate way. God knows all and all realms

are his; after all he created them and gave animation to its inhabitants. As great

and important as you think you are, realise this: his plans are infinitely more

important than yours.

Remember as I’ve said, the whole issue is about balance. Once we lose or throw

away the positive aspect of our existence as human beings we will slide into the

negative by default. Everyday you can see the agents of Satan using these

strategies. You have so-called atheists using everything they can to stop the

belief in the Abrahamic faiths, not only will they try and stop you from practicing

your faith they will stop you and anyone else from teaching your faith to your own

children. Instead they try to indoctrinate your children (and everyone elses apart

from their own) into all sorts of hedonistic activities. They are the same people

who say that Jehovah doesn’t exist and yet hold such a rabid hatred for him, the

same people who hold that hatred and yet say not one bad thing about Satan or

the pagan “gods”. They are the same people who want to exterminate the

Abrahamic faiths and yet find Satanism and pagan creeds “culturally acceptable”.

I will continue with the issue of these parasites later on, for now I’ll return to the

metaphysical.

So is kabbalah worth studying? I’d say yes, after all it was that which led me

away and out of Satanism. But I would also add that unless it deals with

“practical” kabbalah, then it is a waste of time. You ultimately have to teach

yourself because no-one else understands your spiritual needs (and wants for

that matter.) Don’t go for commercial cults “offering” you “knowledge” for

extortionate fees, they only make money from your gullibility and laziness. Once

you’ve learned the basics then you can decide what’s good for your physical and

spiritual health, don’t let anyone else decide this for you. Your relationship and

trust in Jehovah is much more important than the pay per ranting of a flim-flam

man.

As I previously stated I had bought the book “Sacred Magic of Abra-Melin the

Mage” as my first genuine occult book. And as I also previously stated I was too

impatient to do the required rituals in the book in order to obtain power. This

magic does seem to have a connection to the kabbalah more or less along

theology lines - however the crux of applying the magic was done through

talismans. These talismans were basically magic squares filled with words to

describe the obtaining of the desired result. Certain operations were the

responsibility of certain Angels, Demons and sometimes a combination of both.

There were ways to use these talismans without going through the 6 months

dedication period as written in the book, after all making and consecrating the

talismans required you to take in factors such as planetary hours and aspects,

astrological hours and gematria.

Remember when you practice magic you are establishing a bridge to the relevant

entities who govern the realm of that you wish to obtain your desired result from.

The more links you have, the greater the chance that you will establish that

bridge and keep it for long enough to get that which you want. For the record I

don’t know, nor have heard of anyone who did the 6 months dedication period.

The talismans do indeed work, but from my experience they lacked punch

because there was something missing from my setup. All I could put this down to

was not doing the six months, yet in regard to talismans that were the

responsibility of Demons I found them more than willing to enact on them.

Anyway it is written in the Abra-Melin book by Abraham the Jew that the

kabbalah is a more holy and better magic than what he learned.

Another version of magic emanating from kabbalistic principles is the Shem Ha-

Mephorash, or “name of extension”. In this “branch” of kabbalistic magic are the

names of seventy-two Angels, though some would say they are just aspects of

God. I would say that they are Angels, the reason being is that regardless of their

abode all animated beings have their separate intellects which may be seen as

the intelligence that accompanies the personas (or psyches?) of such beings.

You can have people with high IQs who choose to behave as morons and thugs;

on the other hand you have incredibly stupid people who try to put on a show of

intelligentsia along with various airs and graces.

So have I found non-human beings of other worlds to have their own

personalities? Well, in the few instances that I’ve actually encountered them I

must say yes. Though they do tend to be very guarded in that they seldom if ever

reveal their emotions. I remember that as a Satanist when I used a ouija board to

communicate with them; that if I asked boring or stupid questions or made

dumbass quips they would sometimes reply in kind or else flip the glass over.

Oh? Did you want me to tell you about that? OK, when I was a Satanist I used

ouija boards or more correctly played with them with others in a party game type

setup. Nothing serious really, it was just a thing that most teenagers do at one

time or another. Around this time I had just returned to Satanism for the second

time and viewed such activities in a different light than I did previously. Before I

just regarded ouija boards as a type of entertainment to laugh at frustrated

“ghosts”, but now and again it seemed like some of the things the “ghosts” said

just didn’t quite add up.

Although this could be put down to others using the board trying to be smartarses

or allowing subconscious thoughts to be forceful in pushing the glass, still there

were some instances of things that just didn’t add up. In that the mode of reply to

the answers to the users differed, goofy teen type questions were answered with

replies that embarrassed the questioner and things of that nature. I mean

genuine witty replies not the ‘yo momma’ crap.

It was at my workplace at the time that I decided to add to and refine my use of

the ouija board. A guy I worked with decided to draw up a basic ouija board on a

sheet of cardboard and add some new age hippy type symbols to “fine tune” and

get more efficient results. It was a flop, so I decided to use a sigil (in essence a

signature) of a demon prince (Astaroth as I remember) in the centre circle of the

board figuring if the prince would not communicate through it, he would send one

of his servants to do so. Result? Instant success! As long as the board faced the

west we were in business. I was able to ask more open questions trying to get an

understanding of what it was that I had signed myself up to. It wasn’t a

compulsion of mine to use the ouija board, but like any adherent to a faith or

belief you do seek opinions and advice from others who share that belief.

When I left home and moved into the hotel and had my own room I would

sometimes use the ouija board by myself. Impossible you say? No it wasn’t, I

made one with a centre circle in which to write sigils and always had it facing

west. An invocation before use and a glass lid of a Moccona jar and it was game

on. I think I was more interested in conversation than asking for specific

teachings; really I pretty much had no-one to talk to at the time. What I did find

was that even if I only had my hand slightly resting on the glass lid that it moved

of its own volition. It happened a couple of times and I wasn’t freakouted by it, the

next time I used the board it was definitely different.

After the invocation I went to put my hand on the glass lid and found it freezing

like ice, to the extent that there was frost within the lid and it was too painful to

touch because it was so cold. The lid then proceeded to move on its own and

indeed make conversation. Now you may ask if I thought I was going crackers

and I asked myself too, but I reasoned that I would recognise my own phrases,

the words I commonly use, grammar and syntax if I was in some sort of

autosuggestion or subconscious state. If you ask yourself a question do you not

think out and give the answer in the same manner of language?

But the answers and conversation I received were definitely not in the same

manner of language that I used. There were words that I had never heard of

(“adamacus” was one of them) and attempts by the demons to explain the most

abstract metaphysical/spiritual concepts of which I had absolutely no idea.

So yes, in my dealings I found the demons to have their own personalities and an

intellect similar to ours. The difference in knowledge is that their view of

existence and ours are somewhat different due to experience and information

that we as humans don’t have ready access to. It is there, we just have to make

the effort to attain it. It was during one drawn out session that the demon I was

conversing with withdrew and another took its place. After it introduced itself I

asked what happened to the one I was conversing with before; the answer was

that its time was up.

Huh? What do you mean? (I was actually concerned about the demon in

question and that I had caused something to have it punished or extinguished.)

The demon then told me that they can only act upon the earth for a certain period

of time per day, conversing with humans being an example. Through this I came

to comprehend the meaning of planetary and zodiac hours. In addition I saw an

example of order and hierarchy. The replacement of one demon with another

was just a case of “changing shifts”.

Planetary hours, zodiac hours, phases of the moon etc. are calculated because

of physical orbiting of the planets and their various alignments to the sun and

each other. Our star signs and birthdays are calculated this way. There is an

“order of things” just like there is a hierarchy of various animated life forms and

intellects, both in relation to each other and within themselves. Existence

functions like clockwork; although we may give symbolic names to the

components of the clock and the measurements and even things of the nature of

synchronicity - the fact is they work. If there was no order of things then we could

make up star signs, birthdays and instead of trying to put a pattern to the

workings of “chaos” it would be chaos making patterns for us.

Why not wake up in the middle of the night and declare it to be 7 a.m.? Imagine if

everyone did that? So you could have two people in the same room declaring the

current time to be remotely different to each other with the days and even the

years; being weeks or centuries apart. Could a world full of such people actually

function? There is an order of things and no-one is exempt from it, yes you can

try to use magic to work around it but ultimately whatever God says goes. He

brought us the planets, he put them into orbit and thus it works. Man did not

create the planets so he doesn’t get to alter the measurements of whatever they

may be used to symbolically measure. He can rename and redefine as much as

he likes; the planets are here to stay and no man is immortal as a physical entity.

I’ll tell you something you might not know; have you ever seen an inverted

pentagram? If so you might recognise it as being a satanic symbol and you might

have seen drawings of it incorporating a goats head into it. Most people think that

the inverted pentagram represents a goats head and is used as a satanic symbol

just like the Nazis used the swastika. Bzzzt! Wrong, it actually is the symbol of

reversal of order. The upright pentagram is used to symbolise order as can be

seen with the police and military forces of the world (ever heard of a 5 oblong

General?).

The red star used by the various Marxist nations, groups, terrorists, criminals,

etc. is actually an excellent example of a kabbalistic symbol put into practice. The

sephira of Geburah is symbolised by the colour red and the number 5, Geburah

is generally used in regards to military matters, masculinity and things of that

nature. Being symbolised by the number 5 (because it is the fifth sephira) the

commonly used geometrical shape to represent it is the pentagram and making it

a red pentagram is to fully implement it under Geburah. Are not Marxists always

the first to use force whenever the opportunity arises to take power somewhere?

And do they not use force to retain that power? (So much for “peoples

democracy”) Anyway enough of that.

Do angels and demons actually like humans? Some do, some don’t. They tend to

find humans in the same manner that believers find atheists in that they are

disrespectful, rude, arrogant and demanding. As for God? I don’t answer on his

behalf, but I will say that he is much more merciful and kind than any other being.

He tolerates us and doesn’t that speak volumes for itself? I’ll stick to the old (and

often ignored) saying “God helps them that help themselves” and that means

getting off your backside and learning some aspects of metaphysics before

asking for his direct help in something. It is not a matter of saying “abracadabra”

or rubbing a statuette of Jesus like a lucky charm as can be shown in the 99%

failure rate of those who adhere to “commercial Christianity.”

Sometimes I think that the only difference between humans and other animated

life forms is the fact that we have physical bodies; after all if an angel or a demon

is “entrapped” in a physical human body would they be any different from the rest

of us? There are plenty of people we might call saints and plenty we might call

evil and the rest are somewhere in-between. As humans we are physical beings

and subject to the laws of physics, are spiritual entities subject to similar type

laws in their own realms? Maybe the planetary/zodiac hours are “exercise”

periods for them much in the way when we sleep we are escaping the realities of

the physical world and we can exercise in the realm of spirit or at least the nonphysical,

until we wake up and are fully conscious in the physical world.

You can try pathworking and meditation to enter the spiritual world and bring

information from it which are stored as memories in your brain which can be

accessed as you wish (much like a USB stick holding downloads from the

internet I suppose). Remember the spirit never sleeps (it has no need to) and

neither does the brain (if it did you would be physically dead), by pathworking you

have made a conscious decision to enter the spirit realm and can take in

information regardless of whether your five physical senses receive any input or

not.

You might think that angels, demons, etc. have a physical form because they are

often portrayed as human or monster type in appearance, however spirit has no

physical form and the descriptions are of these entities as they are perceived. In

other words they don’t decide how they appear to us – we do. An example would

be police descriptions of wanted criminals; if someone is described as 171 cm

tall, brown curly hair and a medium build, well then you could be describing

anybody. If you add that the wanted person is a serial killer then people will

picture the worst stereotype and keep it in their mind, never mind the fact I’ve yet

to say whether it’s a male or female. If you want to contact or evoke these

entities read up as much as you can about their qualities, vices and

idiosyncrasies and never assume the best or worst case scenario about them.

You are trying to establish an intellect to intellect exchange, not a physical

contact. Gematria can also help.

This next bit will upset some of you but I feel it must be said. There are people

who attempt to contact the dead, usually members of their families because they

need to feel closure of some sort. Can psychics contact or bring around the

spirits of the dead in a séance or similar, well…by and large – no. I’m not saying

that it’s impossible, just improbable. You may have had an experience where

someone's “Uncle Frank” came back from beyond the grave and preceded to tell

everyone the most amazing things. Would you not find it strange that Uncle

Frank could now explain metaphysical laws and quantum physics when all he did

while he was alive was drink gallons of beer everyday and watch porn? Did

Uncle Frank die and go to university?

Sorry folks, the demons told me that they sometimes are drawn to séances and

ouija sessions in which the participants are either desperate, clueless or both.

When such attempts are made to contact the dead, the one who knew the

deceased will often cough up so much personal information in their desperation

to call to the “other side” that it is relatively simple for one of them to impersonate

the deceased in question. Much in the same way of social engineering and

internet fraud. Is this type of activity by demons just a type a malicious

behaviour? With some yes, with some no, with some it is just something to do

while on “exercise break” (same can be said for internet trolls). As for the

psychics and others who offer these sorts of services, some may be fraudsters

but the majority are sincere but deluded. Don’t disturb or try to disturb the dead,

deal with your grief and get on with life – I think that would be the message they

would give you.

Chapter 8

So let’s get down to the “Shem ha-Mephorash” aka “Name of extension.” This is

what I’ve found to be the best of all magic practices. I first came across it in a

book I found in the Campsie library while searching for occult information. This

occurred during the time of recovery after I had lost everything after leaving

Satanism for the second time. I can’t remember the exact title of the book but I

remember it was authored under the name “Papus” who I have been led to

believe was a Frenchman whose name was Gérard Encausse and lived from

1865 to 1916. He was an occultist, probably in the same tradition as Eliphas Levi;

I do know the book I learned it from was translated from French and at the time

(c.1993) it was somewhat old.

The Shem ha-Mephorash names of the angels are derived from Exodus 14:19-

21 and each of the verses has 72 letters – we are taking about Hebrew letters

here. Using a type of cryptography one comes up with 72 three lettered names of

God and by adding Yah or El to those three lettered names, one gets the names

of the angels. Esoteric and abstract I know, but none the less it works. Each

angel rules over a 5 degree segment of the zodiac known as a quinance

(5x72=360) or to explain it further you have twelve star signs with each star sign

being ruled by 6 angels because they all have a quinance (6x5 degrees=30

degrees)x twelve star signs = 360 degrees.

In the same manner as the sephiroth of the kabbalah, each angel has a virtuous

and a vice side to it. If you are careful, somewhat calculating and virtuous in your

planning and intention when performing a ritual then you will be rewarded

appropriately. If you are lazy, unprepared and intend to use the virtues of the

angel just to reward yourself at the expense or harm of others then you insult the

angel and disrupt his balance. In other words you will piss him off and he has the

ability to reply in kind. Remember with the kabbalistic practices of magic that

balance is one of (maybe the most?) the highest priorities when planning and

performing a ritual. There is a similar system that uses 72 demons instead of

angels, it is called the Goetia. There always has to be a balance or as the saying

is known by occultists, “As above – so below”.

The angels each have a psalm associated with them, you do not pray to them but

in a manner of speaking pay them tribute and justify your cause. Essentially I

more or less believe you are asking them to intercede for you to God, but I also

believe that they have a reasonable amount of autonomy and can bring about

what you ask for. I suppose it depends on what you want and how you expect it

to come about. If you want to use the Shem ha-Mephorash then I certainly

recommend that you look at various sources to try and gain an understanding of

it all. Indeed for any magical practices you will have to do the research for

yourself, don’t take my word or indeed anyone elses.

One of the reasons I decided to write about my magical practices is because I

have been absolutely horrified at the utter nonsensical garbage that floods the

internet these days that purports to be “magical wisdom”. The arseholes that put

up this pap have no understanding of metaphysics, ritual or indeed anything,

most likely they would never practice their own rituals and just have gullible and

desperate people do it for them. Much like drug cooks give out freebies from the

latest batch to junkies to see if it kills them, and if it doesn’t then hit the streets

with it. Or else they have practiced someone elses quackery and fucked

themselves up and replicate the pattern; a chain letter of mental illness if you like.

I’ve seen some fucked up shit like at a new age convention where some quack

was selling books on how to get fairies, pixies and elves to perform magic for

you. Whether the seller was just a conwoman or just as fucked up as the books

she was selling – I don’t know, but I suspect the latter.

If you want to do research for yourself then go to the local library, look up

whatever books they have on the occult – it will cost you nothing. Want to learn

about metaphysics? Give the Rosicrucians a call. Want to know where to start

learning about kabbalah? Ring the local synagogue and speak to the Rabbi. If

you ever encounter groups or individuals that tell you that only they have the

answer, that nothing else is worth learning and in addition offer you “magic

courses” at hyper inflated prices tell them to waste someone elses time, money

and indeed sanity. I know of a certain “Gnostic” teacher/cult leader who is more

interested in real estate deals than imparting wisdom and charges a bucketload

for it. Worse what he offers is not even Gnosticism but rehashed yoga practices,

don’t try to shortcut; I too made that mistake and where did it get me?

Think of using the Shem ha-Mephorash in the same way that Catholics pray to

the saints (they really shouldn’t do that; to ask them to intercede would be

something else, but I don’t go for that either); you are asking for help for

something that you cannot do yourself, at least for the time being. You as a

physical being are bound by physical laws and they as non-physical beings are

bound by non-physical laws. But they are not bound by physical laws and you

are not bound by non-physical laws. So if you perform your ritual correctly, are

reasonable and sensible in what you ask and believe in God (the God of

Abraham or as I say Jehovah) then all should be good.

Now as I just said both you and the angel are bound by laws pertaining to the

worlds you are native to, but not necessarily each others. So you perform your

ritual and call out to the angel in his world; now whether he hears it (or cannot

hear it or chooses not to hear it) depends if he has the ability to have access to

this world, and this is why planetary and zodiac hours as well as other elements

involved with magic and metaphysics are important to the success or failure of a

ritual. We are looking to establish a channel of contact and exchange between

our respective worlds. Let’s assume you have performed your ritual correctly; it

isn’t now just a matter of ‘sitting back and waiting for the cash to flow in.’

I’ll try to explain it this way. Let’s say for arguments sake you’ve kicked a football

in the park and it’s gone off course and someone is nearby to where it landed.

You: Excuse me, could you kick my ball back?

Passer-By: Here it comes!

You: It didn’t land in my hands. Could you come over here, pick it up and run

back to where you kicked it from and do it again? This time make sure it lands in

my hands without me having to move!

In all honesty if you were the passer-by would you do that? The passer-by would

either tell you that you’re an idiot, or just ignore you, or else come over and beat

the shit out of you (and justifiably so). The point I am trying to make is for as

much effort that the angel is trying to grant you your wishes, you have to make

just as much effort in receiving them. That means providing the physical

channels in this world for your request to be manifested, is this necessary 100%

of the time? Probably not, but if you don’t make the effort as with the football it

will pass you by and it is very doubtful that anyone is going to get it for you.

A skeptic might say that although your ritual and follow through was correct

according to metaphysical and religious principles; and although you got what

you wanted, that this would have occurred anyway without any ritual necessary.

They would probably offer things such as positive thinking, mathematics,

circumstance or even chance as an explanation. I would say this; positive

thinking requires you to believe in something and that something will occur. Much

in the same way as faith, you either have faith or you do not.

There is no such thing as ‘negative’ faith but there is negative thinking; negative

thinking can cause a ritual to fail, not because you have doubt about what you

believe but because you have doubt about your application or desired end result.

As for mathematics you do use math in planning ritual, you would be silly not to.

If you ask the skeptic about the circumstances that have occurred and the

probability of such an event, you will either get some mathematical impossibility

of odds or else be told that it is just coincidence or ‘chance.’

The keyword I mention here is ‘manifest’, and manifestations of circumstances

are deemed to be ‘chance’, the mathematical probabilities of such circumstances

occurring to anyone should be able to be calculated. You could ask when would

such an event occur within a certain timeframe and how many people would be

required to provide a grouping for that circumstance and be observed? And then

you can add on that what would be the odds of such a circumstance occurring to

a specific person?

Take another example; the card game of blackjack can be made more successful

odds wise if you as a player apply a mathematical system to it. You can ‘card

count’ and be quite accurate at the values played by knowing the number of

decks within the shoe used to deal from. You can be at the table from the first

card dealt and keep a running score, you might decide that the math is

favourable for you to play a hand and you can still lose.

Why? The answer is circumstance from chance, the dealer might have a five

card but the other players at the table have their own hands. One player might

decide to split a pair of tens, another might decide to sit on a hand of 14, one

player might decide to leave the table etc. You might be able to plan out the math

for yourself before you make the bet, but after you do the circumstances may

change altogether and that is something you could not have calculated. Even if

you devise a system that takes into account things such as expert players,

cheats, dickheads sharing your table and so on, there is no way that you have all

circumstances (or potential circumstances) covered; so there is no way that such

a system would be perfect or ‘fool proof.’

Mathematics is fool proof; it is just the application by man that isn’t 100% fool

proof. Man isn’t perfect, but in ritual we are not relying on men to bring about

what we want. We are hoping for circumstances to be changed for all those who

are in a position of ability to get us what we want on a physical level. That’s why

you should only perform a ritual by yourself; even if you know someone who is

with you on the same wavelength and decide to ask them to participate, will they

still be as the ritual is performed? Only trust 100% in God – not men.

The Kabbalistic branches of magic are fool proof; it’s sloppy preparation or

unrealistic expectations that fail practitioners, also remember God has his own

plans and they’re much more important than yours. If you want to practice magic

in order to benefit yourself that’s OK. But bear in mind the greater picture, just

take consideration of all factors and potential factors (but don’t obsess with them

or allow them to put you off) and seek to see where others can benefit from your

success and strive for the greater good of all. If you do; myself, I can’t see where

you can go wrong.

Now we will take a look at the issue of timing. We have the days of the week,

planetary and zodiac hours, and even the aspect of seasons can come into it on

occasion. With the days of the week; they are to do with planetary influences

such as Monday coming under the influence of the Moon, Tuesday comes under

Mars etc. Once you understand what planet rules which day and the aspects of it

that relate to your ritual, then it is pretty straightforward.

The issue with planetary and zodiac hours is a bit more complex. With planetary

hours they could be calculated two ways: the first being based on the movements

of the planets (including the Earth) around the Sun. So we take the period

between sunrise and sunset, deem that to be the ‘day’ and divide it by 12. If

sunrise is at 6:30 am and sunset is at 5:45 pm, which would give us a period of

11 hours and 15 minutes – 675 minutes. 675 minutes divided by 12 gives us 56

minutes and 15 seconds to be exact, which is the length of our planetary hour

during the day. As for the night hours I myself, prefer to find out when the next

sunrise is due and repeat the same step. If I cannot I do it this way: there are 24

hours within an entire day and with 60 minutes in an hour that gives us (24x60)

1440 minutes. We have already calculated that for the ‘day’ hours there were 675

minutes, so we now subtract them from the 1440 which gives us 765 minutes,

which when divided by 12 gives us 63 minutes and 45 seconds per ‘night’ hour.

And at sunrise the calculations begin all over again.

Does it always add up when you calculate the ‘night’ hours and the coming of the

next sunrise? No, not all the time; there are discrepancies so you have to use

logic and reasoning as well as circumstances to try to make a balanced

judgment. For instance; you have calculated that a ‘night’ hour is 63 minutes, but

you also find out when the next sunrise is due and again apply the math which

leaves you with a result of each ‘night’ hour being 58 minutes for example. So

which result do you use? What I would do is get a piece of paper and make three

columns; in the first I would write down the order of planetary hours for that day

starting at the sunrise. If for example we wanted to perform a ritual on a Sunday;

the first hour of a Sunday comes under the governance of the Sun and the last

would be under Mercury because the next day is Monday and its first hour from

sunrise comes under the Moon.

The order of planets for a Sunday goes like this:

‘Day’ hours

1. Sun

2. Venus

3. Mercury

4. Moon

5. Saturn

6. Jupiter

7. Mars

8. Sun

9. Venus

10. Mercury

11. Moon

12. Saturn

‘Night’ hours

1. Jupiter

2. Mars

3. Sun

4. Venus

5. Mercury

6. Moon

7. Saturn

8. Jupiter

9. Mars

10. Sun

11. Venus

12. Mercury

Which brings us to Monday and the first ‘day’ hour is under the Moon.

Let’s say the next sunrise is at 5:30 am instead of 6:30, so we take the previous

sunset time of 5:45 pm and measure the time between the two which gives us

705 minutes. Divide that by 12 and our ‘night’ hours become 58 minutes and 45

seconds each, not a big deal you say? Actually it isn’t really in regards to

performing a ritual timewise, but as to time when to perform a ritual it is. Now in

the other two columns we write down the start-finish time of each planetary hour

using regular time:

‘Night’ hours 63min 45sec

1. Jupiter - 5:45

2. Mars - 6:48:45

3. Sun - 7:52:30

4. Venus - 8:56:15

5. Mercury - 10:00

6. Moon - 11:03:45

7. Saturn - 12:07:30

8. Jupiter - 1:11:15

9. Mars - 2:15

10. Sun - 3:18:45

11. Venus - 4:22:30

12. Mercury - 5:26:15

Sunrise - 6:30

‘Night’ hours 58min 45sec

1. Jupiter - 5:45

2. Mars - 6:43:45

3. Sun - 7:42:30

4. Venus - 8:41:15

5. Mercury - 9:40

6. Moon - 10:38:45

7. Saturn - 11:37:30

8. Jupiter - 12:36:15

9. Mars - 1:35

10. Sun - 2:33:45

11. Venus - 3:32:30

12. Mercury - 4:31:15

Sunrise - 5:30

As you can see by the fifth ‘night’ hour the discrepancies begin to make an

impact. To be safe (and confident) in making sure of the time we have, we have

to take the start time (using the Mercury hour as an example) of 10:00 pm from

the 63 min column and the beginning of the following Moon hour (10:38:45 pm)

from the 58 min column. Measure the difference, and that leaves our Mercury

hour as being 38 minutes and 45 seconds (make it 38 minutes). Maybe that’s

enough for you or maybe it’s not; but you can see as the time moves on it cuts

away at the length of the hours.

So if you find that you will be time short you could either wait until the time coordination

will be more favourable; or if you cannot wait until such a time, seek to

measure and incorporate other influences into the ritual that would make it more

favourable. The second method of measuring the hour/planetary co-ordination is

to use the order of the planets for that particular day and assign a regular 60

minute hour to them. These hours are measured from midnight instead of

sunrise; these are referred to as ‘mechanical’ hours.

Myself I never preferred to use mechanical hours, I just didn’t think they were

accurate because they are man made. Sunrise to sunset and vice versa divided

by 12 seems more natural to me, but taking in factors that can occur such as

daylight saving and similar it is always best to try and bring in complementary

factors to ‘reinforce’ the ritual period. So if the planetary hour you want to use

matches up both ‘naturally’ and mechanically then all’s good. If not, then you will

have to make do with what you have or you could try to use mechanical hours on

their own but I do not recommend this. It is an absolute last option if you have no

access to any other data regarding sunrise/sunset times and similar.

Now, the angels of the Shem ha-Mephorash rule over quinances of the zodiac.

So there are six angels per star sign; while there are planetary hours one might

use depending on the star sign of the angel you wish to call on there are another

set of hours you might want to reference. These are mechanical hours and each

one of them consists of 60 minutes, they are simply called zodiac hours.

Zodiac signs with time (either am/pm) and planetary influence;

Aries – This starts from 12:00 and comes under the influence of Mars.

Taurus - This starts from 1:00 and comes under the influence of

Gemini - This starts from 2:00 and comes under the influence of Mercury

Cancer - This starts from 3:00 and comes under the influence of Moon

Leo - This starts from 4:00 and comes under the influence of Sun

Virgo - This starts from 5:00 and comes under the influence of Mercury

Libra - This starts from 6:00 and comes under the influence of Venus

Scorpio - This starts from 7:00 and comes under the influence of Mars*

Sagittarius - This starts from 8:00 and comes under the influence of Jupiter

Capricorn - This starts from 9:00 and comes under the influence of Saturn

Aquarius - This starts from 10:00 and comes under the influence of Uranus

Pisces - This starts from 11:00 and comes under the influence of Neptune

* Whenever a Scorpio and Mars hour coincide it becomes a Plutonic hour.

I tend to think that the zodiac hours are fixed mechanical hours because of the

occurrence of Plutonic hours on occasion. The planetary hours are not fixed and

the only explanation of the coinciding of Scorpio/Mars hours I can assume is

because the zodiac hours are. But I am not an astrologer or astronomer so I

would say that you should give priority to the planetary hours and the zodiac

signs that they rule. If they coincide with the fixed zodiac hours even better, but if

not stick to the planetary hours.

With six angels per star sign in addition to having only one ‘suitable’ hours in

which to perform a ritual isn’t especially enough timewise. What I’ve found is that

the first three angels listed for a star sign are ‘day’ angels and the latter three are

‘night’ ones. That means for you calculated hour you have a third of it to make

your main pitch; don’t be afraid to rehearse and time it, you will have to trust your

‘sensing’ in regards to this as you don’t get to wear a watch or have an alarm

clock during the ritual. Anyway you will have to study this for yourself if you want

to take it any further. I don’t especially want to go into explaining various

technicalities because I didn’t write this book with the intention to make it a book

on how to do magic.

But I did write this section on magic to show you that…yes! You too! Can do

these things, you too have just as much ability as I or anyone else to use magic.

Am I especially exhorting you to do so? No! I am saying that it is an option you

should have and learn to use. Much like having an ace up your sleeve during a

high stakes poker game, you will only play it in a situation where you have the

most to gain or are facing the most to lose. Don’t let anyone tell you not to use it,

sure there will be people who tell you that you are mentally disturbed or that you

are evil to try to stop you from studying (let alone using) it. You have to ask

yourself this question whenever this occurs, ‘What do they have to gain if I do

stop studying or even begin using magic and do they have to lose if I don’t?’

Whatever you decide it is best not to boast about it, now I’ll continue on with

more on this subject and give you an example of how to perform a ritual.

Think of the preparation work you do in planning and writing a ritual as a

measure to establish symbolic links. Much in the same way as rehearsing and

knowing the protocols if you were, for instance going to meet royalty. The more

knowledge you have on where and how to act on the occasion would make a

deeper and lasting impression than ‘making it up on the fly’. The more symbolic

links you make that are complementary; and to an extent supplementary, the

more likely you will establish the bridge to the spiritual realm. If you wish to

convey an idea or message to someone you can use words orally; you can use

body language with gestures; you can use writing, drawings or even photos if

appropriate. You may be using physical means to communicate but it is the nonphysical

idea that you are explaining.

Hence you should get to understand factors such as gematria, numerology and

even moon phases if you wish, it depends on how much time you have until

either the time period is right or when you absolutely need to do it. As long as

your symbolic links (and indeed theology) do not contradict each other and

everything seems logical to you, then it should ‘feel’ right and you’re good to go. I

don’t proclaim myself to be an expert in the occult and neither should anyone

else. Your circumstances, my circumstances and the circumstances of the

‘experts’ and the truly pioneering occultists from the Middle Ages period are

different to each other. There may have been and still are similarities in all our

circumstances but they have never been the same as each others because of

one major factor – timing.

I’m sure most of us have heard ‘If only he did that at the time, everything would

have been fine.’ Easy to repeat - harder to put into practice. If ‘he’ did that

particular something at the time then the nature of that particular circumstance

would have changed. All things are in continuous movement from thing that we

either did or did not do (Am I sounding Zen here?). Call it synchronicity, chance,

circumstance, coincidence, or whatever. There is a bigger picture than our minds

can comprehend and understand, by using magic all we are doing is trying to

adjust the angle of the frame for ourselves.

When planning magic remember to keep it simple, just because you saw some

movie where everything seems to be grandeur in ritual just remember it is just a

movie. I believe and worship Jehovah; he is God (of Abraham and everyone else

for that matter). That allows me to use kabbalistic practices; after all we are

talking about the Ancient Israelites and their practices. So I wouldn’t mix them in

with Wicca (A load of shit. I’ll explain later.) or Enochian magic. Just a note,

Enochian magic and Rosicrucianism tend to imply that their mystical knowledge

came from Ancient Egypt. This I can’t say yes or no for certain, but remember

that which Moses did and remember he was raised as an Egyptian prince and he

would have had access to occult knowledge.

Anyway, do you wanna play? Well there are some things you have to know and

do. First of all you should have a sacred area in which to have rituals, a spare

room would be ideal but if this is not possible then a specific area in which an

altar (desk would be fine) can be assembled. The area or room which you would

deem to be sacred must be exactly that – sacred. That means no unnecessary

‘inappropriate’ activities should occur there (such as in fucking on the desk you

intend to use as the altar), you should give a degree of respect for that specific

area.

Next should be the ‘cleansing’ of that area and the room it is in, that means

washing the walls, floor, door etc. You may not be able to make it 100% spotless

but you should at least make the effort, after that comes the burning of incense

(frankincense is good) because not only does that area need to look clean it also

must smell clean so as to ‘feel’ clean. So when you go to use this area it should

feel sacred, it is much like a work of art really. A good work of art is such

because of the effort put into it; there is a personal touch which could never be

replicated from the original, unlike the majority of todays art which is mostly

imitations churned by various types of machinery and sold cheaply like souvenirs

from a fun park. This is your own personal space in which you will pray and

indeed talk to God and his servants of the other realms.

As for the ‘tools of the trade’ such as daggers, chalices, cloaks etc. Well these

are only necessary on occasion; you can use a new towel or tablecloth for the

altar. If you are using Kabbalah you are best to wear clothing in the colour of the

sephira that you will be working with. But as with the space you are using you

should wear clean, well presented clothing (preferably new and not to be worn on

any other occasion, but if you can’t afford them just make do as best as you can)

like you would wear to a social function. It doesn’t have to be expensive at all;

you just have to feel it is appropriate. In addition you should have a couple of

candle and incense holders. I myself have never found the need to use daggers,

chalices or cloaks.

Now comes the planning and this will take more time than you imagined. In

taking the Shem ha-Mephorash as an example, you have to figure out which

angel is appropriate to call on. Having done that you then have to calculate which

time is appropriate for ritual but in doing so you have to ensure that you are able

to perform the ritual at that particular time. Will you be able to do so

uninterrupted? Are you able to wait until the next appropriate opportune time or

do you need to act ASAP? If the latter applies to you then you might have to

consider a different angel and rethink how your desired end result will come

about. You have to do some serious contemplation here and maybe in doing so

you might find that you do not really need to perform a ritual.

But assuming you do and you have a specific time in mind and a specific angel

you wish to call on, the next step is to write out the ritual that you intend to use in

the same manner a priest might write out a mass. So for starters you first have to

pray to Jehovah as you normally would do (facing due east) and ask for his

blessing on the ritual you are about to perform. Next you would then go to the

degree angle of the angel you intend to petition (as the angels have degrees of

the Zodiac they also have a degree of where you face to perform the ritual. For

example if the angel is assigned the angle of 91-95 degrees you would perform

the ritual facing south; if they are assigned 181-185 you will be facing west etc.

East is allotted 0 degrees; you start your measurements from there and you will

need a compass.) And your altar should already be set up beforehand.

You start the ceremony with the sign of the Zelator and proceed to light the

candles (starting with the right) and the incense (you should be using white

candles and clothing because I’ve only performed within the sephira of Kether.

Can it be performed in any other sephira? I don’t know I’ve never tried. As I’ve

said before you should study before performing.) You then call upon the angel by

his name and attributes, recite the psalm associated with him and plead your

cause. I recommend you also recite psalm 119 as part of the ritual, after you felt

that you have put forward everything you have to say then you give thanks for

being able to put forward your petition for his consideration and then a farewell

salutation.

So you will have written this all down, now rehearse and time it. Does it exceed

the allotted time of the planetary/zodiac hour? More than likely yes so you should

arrange it that your ‘main pitch’ occurs during that allotted time. You shouldn’t

worry about the ceremony going ‘overtime’ or feel the need to rush through

things. As long as you feel confident in that which you have written (and yes you

can use written notes in the ritual) then you’re good to go. Magic is a learning

process and experience is the best teacher.

Chapter 9

As I've previously said I never subscribed to the German national socialist

workers party or their ideology. In fact most people who are smeared with this

term don’t either. The only ‘white power ideology’ that I’ve ever subscribed to is

Pan-Aryanism, if you are unsure about what it is then I’ll tell you what it meant to

me.

Pan-Aryanism is a type of racial consciousness, it believes that race is biological

and identified on phenotypes. If you are of Aryan or Indo-European racial lineage

or identified as being of a racial group that is accepted as Aryan; then you are

able to participate in Pan-Aryanism. It doesn’t hold a political ideology per se;

instead it basically believes that Aryans should help each other whether it be on

a personal or national basis. A type of mutual assistance in the face of adversity

if you like. If you need to know anymore then I suggest that you look it up for

yourself, this chapter is not here to spruik it (or oppose it for that matter).

So why do I mention it? Because it would be wrong for me to say that I didn’t

learn anything from it or that the people within it are all bad. I did learn from it and

I did get to make contacts with good people. I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of,

there maybe a few people reading this who will be screaming “Racist! Racist!

Racist! Someone call the police!” Yes they will be screaming “Imperialist! Fascist!

Reactionary!” etc. etc. while having their chimpout. These were the sort of people

who actually pushed me into Pan-Aryanism; it was never a case of getting

involved just to hate people of different skin colouring.

George Lincoln Rockwell was correct in saying that to hate someone simply

because they look different to you is a stupid thing, to do so would mean hating

everyone apart from your immediate family. Anyone of any colour can subscribe

to any ‘ism’ in order to justify their own pet hates. It was political creed rather

than biology that was my motivation, and probably the motivation of others

involved in similar circumstances.

More correctly it was an anti-political creed; I can understand non-whites

subscribing to various ideologies in order to oppose whites. My beef was with

whites who adopted left wing causes in order to destroy the very society from

which they came. In their quest they joined all sorts of anti-white causes that

served the interests of non-whites; this is what I didn’t like or indeed understand.

It seemed to be a type of self hatred and loathing that motivated these creatures,

well that’s how it seems on the surface. But when you study your enemies bit by

bit, you find a commonality between them individually and from there you find

what each of them is actually motivated by.

When I was a Satanist I looked at what ideology would complement my belief.

Others of my creed thought that communism was probably the rational choice (so

did I), because of its atheist and anti-God tenet which was fundamental to it. I

tried to get into it, but just couldn’t. Communism is anti-God but not pro-Satan (it

would be more correct to say pro-Lucifer) in itself. In Satanism we wanted to be

above the herd and yet communism preaches that all are equal and that

collectivism on behalf of the state is the highest goal. It seemed to be

contradictory in every way; it is more of a means to control the herd by the self

proclaimed intellectual elite. A workers party run by people who never held an

actual job, it’s a case of if you are not in on the joke then you are the butt of it.

Putting on my Satanist hat I would have to say that I never cared for whatever

system of government a nation had. After all, my creed came first and I had no

concern with how the herd was ruled. As long as I was OK and as long as the

war against God was continuing then I didn’t care as to whether the hammer and

sickle or the dollar sign motivated or controlled a nation.

So what did I make of the white atheists in left wing groups? In all honesty I really

can’t find a word to sum them all up. So allow me to tell you a story and then I’ll

tell you on how Satanists view atheists of this type and indeed of all types.

About a decade ago I was working with a Trotskyite type socialist, during a break

time he was in the lunchroom reading an old very thick book. I asked him what

he was reading, he then showed me the book and said he was ‘self

indoctrinating’. I took it and tried to read it but it was incomprehensible, I saw that

the author had a Russian name and assumed that it was a Russian book that

had been badly translated. I then handed it back to him and he read it as though

it was any other publication, so I asked “How can you read that? It must have

been translated by someone who doesn’t know English.” He then told me that

you have to understand the terminology and mindview in order to be able to read

it. I just sat there stunned, not only was it gobbledygook it was a psycho

gobbledygook. It was as though he was convincing himself that this irrational

manual for mental illness was…well…I don’t know what to describe this type of

‘reality’ as.

As far as I know he wasn’t poor, lived in the latte sipping fashionable area of

Sydney and really had no reason to hitch his wagon to this loser cause. He

certainly wasn’t a stupid person in all other regards, so what would push him into

this way of thinking? If you have to ‘self indoctrinate’ yourself in order to

participate in something, then obviously that something goes against your nature.

So why would anyone go against their own nature? What would they have to

gain and on whose behalf do they do this for?

Still wearing my Satanist hat - I’ll tell you this. God can offer and give unlimited

treasure; after all he is the only creator and the origin of all creation and

existence. He can create at will and give rewards at will because he controls the

void from whence existence comes, all he has to do is will something into

existence and thus it is. Satan cannot create, he can only pervert and corrupt. He

can only do so in the physical world, the Satanists who understand this have to

see the ‘rewards’ as having a physical form; something like a pie. As with a pie

the more people that are entitled to a slice then the thinner the slices become.

So here lies the dilemma; how do you get the job done without having to share

your slice? I believe it was Lenin who brought up the term “useful idiots” and as

far as I was concerned the atheists were useful idiots who would fight for the

cause of Satan and would do it for free. As I said earlier – no theistic Satanist

likes an atheist; there is no reason to. It is not necessary; the enemy of my

enemy is just that – not a friend. What motivates them to fight against God, their

nations and their people? Or even their family? As someone who does owe

loyalty to God and as someone who was a Satanist; the answer is the same – I

don’t give a shit. Trying to find out what motivates stooges and idiots is a

pointless exercise unless you are doing a psychology thesis.

OK, so you want a proper answer; let’s deal with the stereotypical white left wing

atheist. This is what I found the individuals to have in common, first of all they are

atheist and anti-theist militants; especially against the Abrahamic faiths. Second

– they are absolute hypocrites, they are the same people who advocate

interracial marriage and yet do not participate in such activity nor ever would

accept a non-white into their immediate family. They are the same people who

preach the ‘classless society’ and yet come from upper middle class families and

have no intentions of relinquishing the luxuries they have due to their bloodline.

They are essentially a fake royalty; they will openly call for the royal families of

the earth to be overthrown, not because they oppose the system of monarchy. It

is because they believe they should be the royalty of the earth.

So what did I learn from Pan-Aryanism? First of all the overwhelming bulk of

“racists” are not white supremacists, they are white separatists. They believe that

nations should be based on biological race, actually I do too. I am not a white

supremacist; there are just as many stupid white people as there are non-white.

Leftists will often champion the cause of multi-culturalism and the ‘melting pot’

scenario to making nations. Of course the whole social experiment has been a

failure, if you force people to co-inhabit a geographical area defined politically

then you will have problems.

People will inhabit an area due to one of three factors; they are either of the

majority racial/cultural community in that area, or they make their money in that

area, else they are stuck there with no way out and nowhere to go. I myself am

fed up with people who are alien to me bringing their foreign cultural and political

baggage with them and expecting everyone else to treat it as their own. If you

continuously bring in foreigners into your nation then you will destabilise the

current fundamental base of your nation's society. Once that society goes into

freefall, then the sovereignty of your nation will soon follow.

I maybe going off on a tangent here, but be patient I have something to tell you.

Now you have heard of ‘white supremacism’ but have you heard of ‘brown

supremacism’? Brown supremacism is not the belief of any established racial

group; it is in fact a belief that mixed race people are superior to others who are

identified of a single racial group (especially whites). If you are of mixed race

(regardless of which races) and are not accepted by either race of your parents,

then brown supremacism is for you. Remember that Marxists believe that race is

a social construct regardless of biology.

An example of this ‘social construct’ would be the ‘coloureds’ of South Africa,

they are combinations of Indians, Malays and various mulatto mixes. Under

apartheid they were deemed to be better than blacks but not as good as whites.

And yet they were all classified under the one term - 'coloureds' and when

combined with blacks were classified as non-whites.

Now I will tell you something about ‘white supremacists.’ When I was an active

Pan-Aryanism I found that the most fanatical opponents of Pan-Aryanism were

white supremacists (especially of the Nordicist type). I mean supremacist in that

non-whites should be killed or enslaved, supremacist in that if you had “one drop”

(a non-white ancestor no matter how far back it goes) you are inferior and not

white. Those white supremacists hated Pan-Aryanism not only because we didn’t

apply the one drop rule, they hated the Pan-Aryans because Pan-Aryans are

nearly all believers in God. The Nordic/White supremacists are nearly all atheist

or pagan, they hate God more than they hate blacks, Arabs and Hispanics.

I wish I had a buck for every time one of these bastards told me that I worshipped

a “jew god”, these morons called me a race traitor because I worship the God of

Abraham. These are the same people who espouse atheism and yet draw their

‘faith’ mostly from the World Church of the Creator and its offshoots and

variations (an atheist church…yeah right, but then again are some churches

infiltrated by such people?) and the same people who call themselves pagans

and Odinists espousing a religion that has no theology and base their ‘belief’ on

folk tales (Wasn’t that me when I was 12?).

Fact is that both of these philosophies are failing big time in the overall white

nationalist movement so its hardcore practitioners see themselves as ‘elite’ (Can

you sort of see a pattern here?). Now their new pitch is “Gaia worship” and why

not? Not only can you be an atheist, but you can combine it with the worship of

trees, chipmunks and clumps of dirt under the guise of saving the earth (Global

warming anyone?).

If you think that white supremacists and white Marxists sound pretty much one

and the same then you are not that far of the mark. However the difference is

how each group views the issue of race. White Marxists see race as a social

construct whereas most people see it as a biological one. Does defining race as

a social construct make any sense to you? I mean, as if you can change the

colour of your skin by making a choice to your socio-political status? Herein lies

the keyword – ‘political’, this is how race is measured these days by the various

left wing parties of the western world and if they are not in power then it will be by

the bureaucrats they infect the state institutions with.

An example of how race is measured politically these days is ‘Muslim’; even

though being a Muslim doesn’t require you to be of a particular DNA gene pool, it

is now deemed to be an ‘ethnicity’ (if you don’t believe me and you’re white, go

and insult a Muslim and see how long it takes for you to face ‘racial vilification’

charges in front of an ‘Anti Discrimination Board’).

So why is Muslim deemed to be an ethnicity? Well here comes a long winded

explanation; the overwhelming majority of Muslims are non-white and the actual

white ones (we’re talking indigenous Europeans here) are an almost non existent

percentage. Islam has no colour barriers so anyone can be a Muslim, there may

be certain social barriers between the various racial groups that practice Islam

but at the end of the day a Muslim is a Muslim regardless of racial background. In

theory this should apply to all religions but only Islam adheres to this more than

others. (You could say this applies to racial groups defined by colour such as

white, black etc.) Look at Christianity, you have black churches and white ones.

In Judaism you have separate Ashkenazi, Sephardic and Falasha synagogues

and with Hinduism you still have the practice of a caste system (regardless of the

legalities or not).

Measurements of race and its seemingly new term 'ethnicity' are made not

because of DNA or because of culture specific to a certain race. It is politics that

makes these measurements in order to calculate political capital. At this point I'll

branch off to deal with Marxists and Nordicists separately, as I said this will be

long winded but I will explain it and how it affects you, your society and nation

and I'll think you will find it worthwhile.

Let's start off with the Marxists, they will argue that they are for the most part not

Marxists but will try to disguise themselves by calling themselves by any number

of 'sub categories' but their aim is all the same - personal power. What I said

about Satanism applies to Marxism as well - it cannot hold true; you have the

political culture of Marxism which is evident by the ideological and personal

behaviour of its adherents both within and outside of government and politics. As

we are dealing with Western nations with a majority population of European

ancestry; because 'in truth' the practices of Marxist governments in non-white

nations don't really count as far as white Marxists are concerned, we can see our

first example of hypocrisy.

Truth is that white Marxists actually think that non-whites are basically

'untermenschen', sub-humans or basically animals. So why do they champion

the causes (whether just or unjust) of non-whites against whites? The answer is

that this is their version of 'the enemy of my enemy is a friend', or more correctly

it is in the same manner as Satanists see atheists as an enemy of an enemy but

definitely not a friend (they are still enemies but not as hated so much). So who is

this enemy that would make them befriend these people, and actually import

them in to the country to destabilise the society of their own nation? That would

be you; the middle class white, you can see this in how those who advocate

unrestricted non-white immigration, interracial sex, marriage (and more

importantly breeding), multiculturalism and other politically correct fashions do

not and will not practice it themselves. They will advocate for a multicultural and

multiracial 'common class' (this is brown supremacy) and yet live in exclusive

upper class all white areas.

These are the same white Marxists (I'll just call them Marxists, ever notice how

non-white Marxists are referred to by their 'white fellow revolutionary travellers'

as 'nationalists'?) who send their children to private schools while insisting that

everyone else's go to public ones. You will find them in the bureaucracy of

various unions insisting that everyone be paid equally and yet continuously

award themselves pay rises and benefits on top of their hyper inflated salaries,

this is the same manner that they behave when in government or the public

service.

Hypocrisy you say? In a way yes but in a way no; with someone being

hypocritical, they themselves would know they were speaking with a forked

tongue (that is if they were reasonably normal notwithstanding their

idiosyncrasies). But I've found the overwhelming bulk of these people to be, quite

frankly…stooges. They will hold two opposite, conflicting and contradictory points

of view as being true simultaneously. If you point out that this is just not logical,

they will not defend it with logic or reason. Their usual modus operandi is to start

yelling and screaming insults and slogans; this is the sort of behaviour you would

associate with a cult rather than the ideology of a political party. But then again

are not political parties (especially left wing ones) basically cults of the Jim Jones

type; where no matter how crazy the arguments are or how mentally unstable the

leaders are, there is to be no criticism of the party because it is perfect. It is

perfect; the leader is perfect, the ideology and policies of the party are perfect - it

is you who is fucked up not them!

I can't help but think about that guy who was 'self indoctrinating' himself as I write

this, I do remember a saying that went along the lines of 'If you are not a socialist

by the time you are 20 then you have no heart and if you are a socialist after the

age of 40 then you have no brain.' I don't know if this is just a saying or an

instruction; I've never come across a poor or middle class Marxist over the age of

40, they seem to morph into the very upper class that they originally sought to

overthrow. In essence joining the various leftist causes seems to be akin to

joining a pyramid scheme scam or a money hungry cult.

To get to the top of this pyramid you have to be pretty ruthless and shameless for

that matter. This can be seen in the way they use and abuse middle class whites,

non-whites and indeed sabotage those within their own peer group. Remember

as far as the atheist is concerned they are the 'highest being in their reality.' If

you want to get to the highest position of your known reality then you have to be

the highest being in other people's realities as well.

So now I'll take you through their fucked up and twisted view of their world, their

'reality'. I hope to show about their tactics in 'getting to the top' and how they

believe this can be done by debasing everyone else, but I strongly suspect that

you know or at least suspect their actions.

As with any peer group you may desire to get to the top, in doing so you may get

a certain status and this will open doors of privilege for you. You become

respected by your elders, a role model for the younger as well as envied and

admired by your peers. In essence you are the 'first among equals', but it is not

as though others among the social group you belong to are going to step aside

for you to be elevated. Far from it; there will always be others who want the same

status that you are striving for. They are not your friends anymore they are your

rivals and your peer group is no longer a friendly community to belong to, it is the

prize in its own competition. As the competition heats up the amount of

competitors will decline; the few that are left on your level are no longer rivals or

competitors, now they take the status of enemies and all means are permissible

to eliminate them.

Sound extreme to you? Not really, or at least I don't think so. After all if you get to

the top think about all that will be available to you. Power and the opportunities it

provides such as wealth, sex and control over the world in which you live. Not as

in the physical earth that we all live on, but as in the society that you could tailor

to your specific wants and needs. You can decide what sort of people you want

as neighbours, what sort of people you want at your social events, what sort of

job you want and when and where you feel like doing it. You essentially become

a god and your peer group are your acolytes, there is a lot to gain and this could

be a case of where the ends justify the means.

So if you want to be in the race then first of all you have to reduce the field. Any

combination of rich, white and successful is what it takes to be a serious

contender; those who are not are disqualified before they enter. And if they do

enter, seek to disqualify them during the race.

Marxists like to proclaim they want a 'classless society' but remember you are not

part of 'their' society. I will only make examples relating to white society, this is

the world I live in and the examples I will give you are from my actual experience.

Probably you have had the same or similar, as for the non-whites? They were

never in the race to start with except as 'useful spectators' much like the crowds

at a football match who yell and scream when decisions don't go their way.

Some may think that the team appreciates their support; this 'team' doesn't care

for them one way or another. As long as they dominate and defeat our team

(poor and middle class whites) then that's all that really matters to them. They

rely on going up the competition ladder not through their own efforts of

excellence, but by the mistakes and misfortune of others.

I'll now go through each subject that I think is relevant to readers as a whole,

excuse me please for the crude and somewhat vile descriptions I use. This is not

a white power spin on my behalf aimed at any particular racial groups. Actually it

may interest you to know that about 25% of enquiries and calls for help or indeed

offers of help came from non-whites. Their societies and communities are under

as much attack by the same people who attack ours. Only the non-whites call

these people by the name that actually describes them correctly - criminals. It's

about time we did the same; you cannot apply political correctness to criminals

who have no political legitimacy. But then again, isn't that what political

correctness is all about?

Immigration: The Marxists may argue that as all people are equal, then all

lifestyles should be able to be accessed equally. Everyone is a 'citizen of the

world' as far as they are concerned. Forget the equality crap, if everyone in your

country (why bother to call them nations, after all white 'nations' don't bother to

protect their borders let alone their people) is homogenous racially, then Marxists

would be hard pressed to gain any political capital by campaigning against

various forms of 'discrimination.' However importing large amounts of people who

are completely alien to the local population will cause polarisation within the

society of a country. This causes friction and results in discrimination and

ultimately violence, Marxists will choose whoever prevails in the latter. Marxists

love violence; it suits them quite well, no need to use flawed philosophical

arguments to defend common criminality, megalomania or narcissism.

Immigration if handled correctly by any political party will bring political capital to

those who act against the interests of their own people. It is basically 'votes on

boats', a combination of foreigners and traitors is enough to get a foot into the

door of government and from there you can use the institutions of government to

attack your rivals in the 'peer group' you belong to. Dumb idea you say? How

could these people ever hope to get elected by popular vote? Thing is they don't

expect or care for election by votes of any kind, Marxist governments are not

elected rather they are implemented by force and stealth.

Is immigration a problem in itself? Not per se, but despicable political parties will

get votes from them usually by putting them in a position of welfare dependency

and telling them if they are not voted back in then the welfare cheque will

disappear. There is also the matter of breeding, after all is this not what makes

the world go round? (And people like to fuck).

Racial composition of population: With continuous immigration the population will

both grow in number as well in racial composition. Although this may not be an

overwhelming problem in itself it can be one depending on the loyalties of the

immigrants and the locally born children of them. Leftist governments use

'multiculturalism' to ensure that immigrants retain their first loyalty to their former

homelands; this is done by allowing them dual citizenship and more importantly

defining their previous nationality status with race.

For example, someone who may be of Han-Chinese ancestry will be identified as

Chinese even though they have never been there or cannot speak either

Mandarin or Cantonese. They may be the fourth generation of that family in a

country such as Australia and they may even have a majority percentage of

European ancestry, still they will be regarded as a gook. The Marxists will use

social cum political means to alienate them from the country of their birth and

indeed the country of their parents and yet at the same time blame white 'racism'

as being the sole cause of why they are alienated from the society of that same

country.

Again with the stroke of a political pen another competitor is taken out of the

race. This is an example of the one drop rule being applied other examples are

having one Aboriginal grandparent, doesn't matter you're an abo and you're

disqualified. Marxists will say that they are protecting your indigenous heritage

even though you may have no affiliation or resonance with it.

Time for another tale; I was walking through the Domain one day (I was 18 at the

time) when I saw that there were political leaflets scattered all over the place. So

I picked one up and started reading it, then some guy (aged about 40) came up

to me with holding the same type of leaflet and asked me what I thought about it.

I simply said that I didn't know anything about it and had no opinion either way.

He then invited me to come to a bar in Camperdown to hang out with some other

guys just to talk about such things and have fun. Seeing as I had nothing planned

for that night I decided to go, I found the place and found the guy with a group of

others in what just seemed like pub talk.

It was just general chit chat which then took a political turn and after more beer

was consumed took on a decidedly left wing turn. It just became a bitchfest about

South Africa, Northern Ireland and turning Australia into a republic. With it came

the anti-British, pro-IRA sentiment and I just assumed that these guys were of

Irish ancestry, anyway as more beer was consumed I had a couple of guys

warning me that the guy who invited me was a homo. I didn't know if it was true

or not so I just kept it in mind. Then someone brought up 'aboriginal rights' and

things just seemed to become nonsensical after that. Everyone seemed to have

their own pitch on this and even though the pitches seemed contradictory

everyone agreed with everyone and there were mutual pats on the back; after

that it just became hateful, spiteful and nasty.

Some drunkard staggered up to me and said "You know what...We get some

pretty good mileage out of these coons…" shortly followed by some arsehole

complaining about the "Aussie shit that live in the housing commission." These

people despite being born and bred in Australia and most likely their parents or

even grandparents as well did not regard themselves as Australian. At first I just

took it that they somehow regarded themselves as Irish, but someone called a

guy by his surname and that was definitely English.

It took a little while to dawn on me but I could only take it as their definition of

Australian was Anglo-Saxon and this is what they hated. It was a political

'Anglophobia', just another fucked up worldview in that the English brought

Australia into being as a political entity and Anglo-Saxons are the cause of this

'problem'. No doubt these guys saw themselves as 'citizens of the world.'

Anyway I saw the point of being there as pointless, I decided to tell everyone I

was going and say my goodbyes. I told the guy who invited me I was going and

he said "well just wait a while and we'll all go to the city together" which seemed

OK to me. After a while I told him that I had to go in order to ensure I got a train

home, he then repeated what he told me before. To which I asked "when?", and

to which he replied "oh…soon." After about 20 minutes I noticed the crowd had

dropped off and so I decided to go, as I was walking out he caught up to me and

asked where was I going. "Home!" he then asked how was I getting home, I told

him and he then offered to come to the city with me. I asked where were the

others who were coming, "oh they had to go" was his retort.

Great, so it's true I thought to myself this guy is a fucking homo! I walked to the

nearest bus stop with him beside me telling me it might be too late for me to get

home so I would be better off staying at his place overnight. Quite frankly his

pickup technique was pathetic, As he was spinning his crap ("even if you do get

the last train, there will be thugs and criminals on it") some guy came out of the

bar and went up to him and started some political rant which caught his attention.

At the same time a bus came up, I got on and just went. Pathetic, what some

guys will do or say in the hope of getting their dick sucked. I sometimes

wonder…Does being a homo make you a Marxist? Or is it vice versa? The next

day I was a bit more lucid and while remembering what happened last night there

was something I noted, most of those guys were wearing industrial clothing of

some sort but they were spotless. Was it designer 'work gear' they had for these

types of occasions? Working class my arse, probably a bunch of brunchers and

long-lunchers from the public service.

As for their drunken (and honest) attitudes to blacks? Then look no further than

Barack Obama - 50% white and yet 100% nigger, all mulattos and quadroons

face the same problem, but the definitions which make their problems come from

their friends. Marxists deem all mulattos and quadroons to be 'black' and tell

them to identify themselves as such, again more competitors out of the race. No

matter how rich, successful, virtuous or upstanding you are unless you are 100%

European (you could even state northern European or indeed Germanic) you are

just out of the picture.

This applies not just to those of the low end of town; it also applies to the high

end and those who aspire to it. In all honesty we all know the stereotypical image

of the unmarried mother living in a public housing unit walking along the street

pushing a pram full of black babies. She's on welfare and the daddy is long gone,

Marxists will say that this is progress and integration. Progress for what?

Rubbing out another potential rival? Yes they win by rubbing out a rival, white

supremacy wins by becoming that bit more 'elite' and brown supremacy wins by

gaining another member within its ranks. Within the poor part of society this isn't

really a big deal, after all women like this are a growing component. They now

have a status of 'victimhood' where they blame middle class whites for their

predicament even though it was their own actions to oppose middle class whites

that put them there in the first place. They are stuck in a situation where they are

dependent on the very people who caused their problems. The Marxist is the

arsonist cum fireman in all of this, they escape all blame.

Some of you may say that this is typical of welfare dependent shitty areas and

people; this is true but not exclusively. I've seen this occur in upper middle class

and 'rich' mostly white areas too; I myself currently live in an area deemed upper

middle class and have done for about five years. I've seen stereotypical yuppie,

feminist, progressive women, the types you see on TV demonstrating or working

the dinner party circuit for open borders and such. I've seen them at the

fashionable cafes, wearing the latest clothes and gossiping about the politics of

the day. Occasionally I've seen them at nightclubs partying away like there's no

tomorrow.

And I've seen them approach their late 30s single, no kids etc. But obviously they

know that the biological clock is running out of time, they want to have a child but

they don't want the father around. Stupidly and unfortunately (for the still to be

conceived child) they follow the brain dead advice they have given to other

women, they get pregnant and nine months later they are the one pushing the

pram with a black baby in it. The conwoman has fallen for the con she helped

propagate, the socialising evaporates and she now has a child she will grow to

resent for it. And in due time the child will resent her for not only bringing it into

the world without a father but also bringing it into the world without any sense of

identity. Why do they do it?

All I can really say is that it seems to be along the same pattern of thought that

the likes of the 'monsignor' Satanist engage in. Their world seems to be on a

hopeless downturn to them that in a vain almost pathetic hope, they engage in

something they think will lift them up. In the case of the monsignor it was to shit

on graves, and in the case of these types of women it is to have an act of

'revolutionary birth' to show that they are still in the race. Even though they know

they will fall back to the end of the race, it is the lift for that moment. Just that

moment, like when a smackie uses speed to tide them through until the next

shipment of the golden triangles’ finest gets into their veins.

I have seen these types of women in the street pushing their prams or strollers

and I have seen the reaction of people to them. People they might have once

called friends suddenly 'have to go' or duck into shops that they would never

shop in whenever they see them coming their way. You can see it with strangers

when they look at the child, then look at the mother and then look up into the sky

or down at the ground or else cross the road. As they walk down the street

pushing their pram they strike you as a lonely figure who seems to have lost all

hope, someone who is in a position of simply not knowing what to do. They

continually grasp at anything they think will improve their lot, they fall into the

stereotype of the butch looking dyke with 'short back and sides' haircut etc.

If they have money and a supportive family then they might be able to ride it out,

if they don't it is then a downward spiral. Even if the woman comes from the

highest echelon of society, not only will she and her child be 'out of the race' but

the rest of the family will too by default. As far as the peers or competitors are

concerned, they are disqualified because they allowed someone to 'shit in their

ice cream.' As for the downward spiral of the others? I am absolutely fed up with

picking up the paper or turning on the TV only to learn that another 'stepdaddy of

the week' has sexually abused or even murdered a child.

No-one deserves that and especially no child deserves that, it seems that these

kids are like the novelty pets that people give out at Christmas. But the novelty

has worn off and they are now regarded as dead-weights and a curse to be

neglected.

Seriously, to have a child without a father is one thing but to bring a child into this

world as a social pariah is something else. The only family he/she will ever know

is white, so what relation can they have to that family or society if they are not?

All they really have as an option is brown supremacy, brought about by the

people who caused that child's genetic makeup in the first place. It seems the

Marxists are breeding their own slaves and useful idiots and why not? After all

they are the same people who brought about eugenics in the first place (Sorry

criminals, Hitler only stole the idea from you). Even if the child were to find out

the race of the missing daddy and tries to establish some sort of relationship with

that racial group there is the distinct possibly that they may not be fully accepted

into that group, if at all.

Truly, I believe we are dealing with a bunch of people who have no

understanding of consequences. It really is a sense of 'live for the moment' with

them (but then again did I not make the same mistake?).

It reminds me of yuppies who buy children from Africa and parade them off like

pedigree dogs at a show. I'm just waiting for it to be acceptable to put collars and

leads on them and walk them down the streets and tie them to street signs while

the owners go into fashionable cafes. I can imagine a conversation going along

these lines…

Yuppie feminist No.1: Oh I see you've got yourself a nigger.

Yuppie feminist No.2: Yes I received him this morning.

Yuppie feminist No.1: Where did you get him from?

Yuppie feminist No.2: Ethiopia.

Yuppie feminist No.1: (snicker)

Yuppie feminist No.2: What's wrong with that?

Yuppie feminist No.1: Well everyone's got one.

Yuppie feminist No.2: And you can do better!?

Yuppie feminist No.1: Yes I can I'm getting one from Burkina Faso.

Yuppie feminist No.2: And…?

Yuppie feminist No.1: Nahh, nahh, nahh! My nigger is blacker than yours!

(Fight ensues to which the police attend after nigger kicks No.1 in the shin)

But it's not just a 'fault of the woman' issue; let's face it everyone laughs behind

the back of guys who get mail order brides. They are regarded as limp dicks that

couldn't cut it with a white woman and the brides are regarded as little more than

common street whores. In some cases it is true, but I find in a lot of cases it

actually isn't.

If you approach and ask interracial couples about their relationship in an honest

manner you will find that you will get honest answers. They will tell you that they

face disapproval from both of their respective racial groups and usually from

within their own families. I have nothing against genuine loving relationships

regardless of who says what, but I truly hate how criminals try to get political

capital by dissecting and redefining such relationships.

I told you that I was going to use common and crude words to try to describe the

machinations behind all of this. I am not PC and that is obvious, if you do not

understand what I am saying then you and I am not on the same page. But I

suspect that most of you do and are; I haven't finished yet, we still have

Nordicism to deal with. In fact there is a lot to deal with, I'll go through it and

whatever I don't cover during the writing of the next chapter I will do so with a

punch line at the end of it.

Chapter 10

The Pan-Aryan movement generally holds that one Aryan is of no greater or

lesser value than another Aryan. That means that those who are of either Aryan

blood or are of a racial group that is accepted as Aryan are all equal. Regardless

of the language they speak or the religion they practice or the cultural practices

of their tribe/clan/sub racial group or even the land they live on or come from. A

Persian, Czech, Anglo-Saxon and Frenchman are all regarded as equal

according to PA beliefs. Regardless of hair or eye colour; facial structure or body

frame, an Aryan is an Aryan and that is that. The only way one can 'lose' their

Aryaness is to disown it by becoming a Marxist or a common career criminal

(both the same really).

PAs generally have the view that if our nations and societies were like those in

the 1950s then we would be all better off in terms of family, society, economy

and security, and it's hard to disagree. Each racial group would be able to

administer their own separate communities without interference from political

interests and they in turn would not seek to interfere in others. Call it segregation

if you want, it worked and society and therefore the nation was made more stable

because of it.

Did it cause problems for 'cosmopolitan' type people? Yes it did, but ones

personal circumstances or preferences should not prevail over the stability and

greater good of a society and nation. Everyone has to make sacrifices for the

betterment of the greater whole, but now it seems that sacrifice is required for the

betterment of a greater few by the greater whole. That's my opinion and I stand

by what I say - if you don't like it…too fucking bad!

Nordicism is an extreme interpretation of Pan-Aryanism, it holds that only

Germanic/Scandinavian people are Aryan and everyone else is tainted by 'mud

blood' and is ranked accordingly. Although one can say that this is classic

Hitlerism; myself I tend to think that Hitler was more PA than Nordicist. Apart

from ensuring the dominance and preservation of the Germanic people he was

more or less content to let others rule themselves (what he planned for later I

guess we will never truly know); but whatever Nordicism ever was, it is currently

in the process of being hijacked by people who I strongly suspect wish to claim it

for and absorb it into Marxism.

Myself, I think what we seeing is the beginnings of implementation of a global

caste system. Much like in India where the whiter you are, the richer you are, or

even the more “holier” you are then the higher you are. But you may say that to

implement such a system upon the worlds’ population would be impractical, after

all the white or indeed Aryan population only makes 7% of the worlds’ population.

Throw in Nordicism which would cut that by over 50%, it just wouldn’t be

practical.

Fair and valid point, if we were looking at it from a purely biological perspective.

But seeing as ones race gets defined by politics these days, terms such as white,

black, brown and coloured could be changed at will by politicians to suit their

political and personal means. We can look back at recent history in terms of

South Africa which with its apartheid government had people classified as whites

and coloureds, in addition it had the ability to make people “honorary” whites

regardless of their actual skin colour or racial phenotype. This was done by

political means to achieve political ends, even though it seemed contradictory

and hypocritical to the ideology and functioning of the government that

implemented it. It also went against the laws of nature.

And because of that it is still a viable political tenet for the one-worlders, NWO,

TPTB, whatever you want to call them. What if the colours that describe our

racial groups are changed from that context into one that describes your socioeconomic-political

status, or indeed your caste? Much like school sporting

carnivals in which the students were divided among ‘houses’ and which had their

own colours. Same could be said for fraternities in universities, your sporting,

academic, financial and celebrity status ultimately decided which one who were

accepted (or otherwise put) in.

The ultimate ‘gravy train’ fraternity to get in is the United Nations, obviously they

are not all of the same race but they are all of the same status or caste if you like.

Looking at the players and bureaucrats there you have all biological colours,

nationalities as well as religion/non religions. If the ideological status of the UN is

to view all people as equal then they must have the machination to make it so,

even though it may be just on paper.

Geography does not equal race, neither does religion or even ones skin tone to a

lesser extent. Yet to be African you have to be 100% Negroid, Jews and Muslims

are deemed to be races and you have non-Aryan people describing themselves

as white. Then why is it that an Afrikaner is deemed a European even though

they have been in Africa for 6 to 8 generations and yet a child of African Negroid

immigrants in France is deemed a European? Or that a Pakistani Pashtun and

Gulf Arab Semite are deemed to be of the same ethnicity simply because they

share the same faith? Or even that someone who is of ancestry of Ethiopian

Jews (Falashas) is protected by laws regarding ‘antisemitism’? Or how about

converts to Islam or Judaism being protected by similar if not identical laws?

It is simply because the definitions of man, or indeed certain men and ideologies

are granted more importance and legality over that of the observable laws of

nature, biology and the creator of nature…GOD! Look at the utter stupidity that

has become mainstream because of political correctness. Saying that human

beings are all of one race is like saying that German Shepards and Chihuahuas

are the same breed simply because they are dogs. I can adjust my language,

culture and geography to that of the Pygmy and yet still at the end of the day I

will never be one. It is biological fact; it is nothing to do with ideology.

Myself, I find that races can excel at some things, but not at others. But I think if

you take all the races and their natural abilities you would find that it all pretty

much evens out. White western countries generally have ‘Affirmative Action’

policies in regards to non-whites, this is supposed to uplift them to the forefront of

the societies of those countries and be ‘liberating’. In reality it has made them

dependent on government aid and has reduced them to the status of mercenary

voters, getting rewards at the expense of whites simply for being non-white and

causing resentment.

It is the arsonist cum fireman routine that political parties around the world

engage in when in government, whatever it takes to stay in power. What if

dachunds were made into guide dogs for the blind and poodles were used as

guard dogs? People everywhere would be shouting what a stupid idea it is, but

yet when similar policies are pushed onto human society people will defend or

oppose it based on the political capital they have to gain from it. Most people will

say something to their friends and drinking buddies and leave it at that, but when

it comes to action it is a case of doing nothing (But what about my job? I gotta

work! Beer and porn doesn’t pay for itself ya know!!). It is just another case of

“just sayin” in which case they shouldn’t have bothered to have an opinion, they

remain silent and silence is consent.

Everyday you see one crooked government decision after another, especially in

Western countries which have left leaning governments. But as long as the beer

and porn taps are still on no-one says anything and if they do they seldom enact

on that. And those who enact on that find little if any real support. When stupid

decisions are made and people give consent by silence you may ask “What’s

wrong with people?” Fair question, but what are you going to do about it? You

can try and do something or you can bitch and whinge to your drinking buddies.

Sad to say that even if you come up with a good plan you still might fall short.

Remember people are led to believe that their short term interests are more

important than a long term future. Who leads them in that way? The people they

have faith in to lead them, why do they allow these people to lead them?

Because they look after their short term interests etc. etc.

This is a type of circular logic and I think logic is the wrong term; there is no logic

behind this. More of a type of quack psychiatry mixed with neuro linguistic

programming. But why do people fall for it? Can you see why we called you the

herd? It seems that not only have you surrendered your best interests and

priorities to these ‘alpha’ people, it also seems that you have surrendered your

thought processes too.

Look at the topic of evolution, it is no longer touted as a theory but is expected to

be accepted as a fact. Expected by who? Groupthink? Groupthink of the herd?

Where’s the evidence? “Oh, I saw it on TV so it must be true. There’s the fossil

record and humans came from Africa, if you don’t believe me you must be a

racist.” The PC brigade are pushing that race mixing is evolution and that we all

have to ‘evolve’. You have evolution being defined as a ‘state of mind’ and hear

the ‘new truth’ of ‘psychological evolution’, in other words mental illness and

groupthink is human progress (ah…’progress’ makes another appearance).

First of all I say that the fossil record is just where things died, nothing more.

Second, the ‘out of africa’ theory had its origins from the ‘teachings’ of the black

supremacist Nation of Islam (U.S.). They believe that black people are gods and

that the whites were created by an evil scientist from blacks by some sort of

selective breeding and that they are all evil. Their “god” called Fard Muhammad

aka “Allah in the flesh” was peddling this crap in the 1930s. Now it has become a

mainstream (or soon to be) teaching in all educational facilities.

Then you have the “creationists” as in the World Church Of The Creator, the

white equivalent of the NoI. They think all white people are gods, but they at the

same time are decidedly atheist because they do not believe in a higher being.

They see non-whites as pests to be exterminated just like the NoI sees whites in

the same manner.

Fairytale stuff? Absolutely! Do they rip off bits and pieces of the holy books of the

Abrahamic faiths? Of course! Do they seek financial and political capital from

their ‘creed’? Sure do! Do they have an absence of theology/ideology so they can

adjust or indeed make up points to complement their present situation? How

could it be any other way? Do they seek to implement a caste system on those

who are not ‘black enough’ or ‘white enough’? This would be a necessity. Next

question…Do they work with or for leaders of the herd to implement their plans

and beliefs? It couldn’t work any other way!

If these people were really sincere they would simply pack off with their brethren

to a pacific island or an uninhabited remote patch of land somewhere. But they

don’t. Why? Because they all have the same expectations and believe they are

all equal. How would you gain political capital and how would you cash it in?

What would be the point of uniting your brethren under the colour of skin and yet

have them kill each other because of their beliefs, egos or lack of them? Groups

like these were formed out of adversity and need adversaries to keep them

going.

Much like rival businesses in various industries, the top two leaders in any sector

will form a duopoly. They join forces to push down or if even possible ruin or

bankrupt any up and comers that threaten the duopoly and when that is finalised,

they proceed to exploit their employees, customers and suppliers to the utmost.

You see it in private enterprise and you see it in politics and you see it accepted

by the herd because they become accustomed if not conditioned in believe that

this is just the way it is, or…the order of things.

But this isn’t natural order; this behaviour is something that has been

implemented. But by who? I can recognise some (if not most) of the attitudes by

the people who involve themselves in this sort of behaviour and yes they are

some of the attitudes that I once had. As I said, anyone is entitled to have a shot

at being the Satan. I also said that your chances are pretty much zero and I said

that this world of Assiah is just as much his as it is ours. And I also said that it is

a prison for him, yet he is also called “Prince of this world”. And…hmmm…I’ll

stop on that, I think that I’m getting too esoteric and existentialist at this point.

Heh…Do I know how to play you? Maybe? Writing this brings back my state of

being from back then, trying to translate it into words for everybody fails. Maybe I

never said I was a good person…but then again maybe I never was…

Right! Let’s continue, look at crime and specifically racially motivated crime in

Western countries perpetrated by either recent migrants or their children against

whites. Specifically the issue of gang rapes, in France it is done by North

Africans, in Australia by Lebanese and in the Scandinavian countries by Kurds.

“Rape the white bitches!” is the call and that call is commonly heard, the whites

turn to their governments for something to be done and the result? Nothing,

silence, and what do the ‘concerned whites’ and their leaders do? Nothing and in

essence give defacto consent…well as long as it isn’t their daughters being

raped.

The governments continue with their open borders policy along with the

consequences. Why should they care? They hold the prize for the time being,

especially the leaders of those governments. They are a god of Assiah, or at

least their part of their world anyway but they know they have competitors and

‘equals’ who want their ‘godhood’ or who can challenge it and they are both

outside and inside their government. They need to lower the position and

standard and actually the expectations of everyone else by any means

necessary. If they can’t get anyone to shit in your ice cream (mixed race children)

then they will get someone to piss on your cutlery (rape and traumatise the white

‘lesser’ females, no matter how many times you wash - the stigma and the

feeling of ‘being soiled’ will always be there). It is about bloodlines for these

people – not spirit, their entire existence as far as they are concerned is Assiah.

Anders Breivik the Norwegian knew this, it is made out that he is ‘crazy’ but I

don’t believe it to be true or at least he isn’t anymore crazy than anyone else. He

knew that ‘crushing the bloodlines’ of these people would instil absolute loss in

them (and yet at the same time some of the ‘establishment’ families of Norway

who were untouched by all of this saw it as less competition against their

children.) Do I condemn it? No, those punk kids had been instilled with a sense

of entitlement simply because of who their parents were. Since when has

government been a ‘family business’ lately? I thought the days of absolute

monarchies had been pretty much done away with.

Do I support him? Again no, he more or less has fallen into the media trap like

most other people. He blames ‘cultural Marxism’ for crime problems in Norway

and especially racial crime (correct!) but then he blames Muslims as a whole for

perpetrating those crimes. How can you blame an Indonesian for crimes

committed by Kurds, Arabs and blacks simply because they share the same

religion? But it is not only Breivik who makes this error of judgment; many white

nationalist organisations do the same. They are following the brown supremacist

line that ‘Muslims’ are a race instead of a religion and the racial qualification to be

a Muslim is to be non-white.

In Australia we have a similar issue with supposed ‘boat people’, mostly Iranians,

Iraqis and Afghans from what it can be assessed (because these bastards throw

their passports overboard once they set sail from Indonesia). So they fly to

Indonesia, get ‘people smugglers’ to take them into Australian territorial waters

and then the captain of the boat radios a SOS/mayday call so the navy picks

them up. When taken to Christmas Island they then DEMAND to be taken to the

mainland to be released. When this doesn’t happen they bitch and whine about

being harshly treated because they are “po’ widdle” refugees. Pigs arse!

Poor? As in having the airfare from wherever to fly to Indonesia? As in being able

to pay the people smuggler? (Usually between $10-20k per person). They

demand to be released into the community along with government housing,

Australian citizenship and a nice welfare cheque (98% of these ‘refugees’ who

have been here for five years or more are still on welfare – they have no

intentions of getting a job). And when real Australians (actual people born and

bred here, along with long standing migrants – regardless of race) complain that

the government increases taxes just to keep these people in luxury (quite true,

“detained” in three and four star hotels in most instances) and that the senior

citizens need assistance just to pay their medicine, food and electricity bills the

government response is they should shut up and stop being racist against

Muslims!

These so-called ‘asylum seekers’ come with sob stories about escaping ‘harsh

lives in Islamic communities’ and once they get the thumbs up from the

government (Labor party of course) they know they won’t get deported. Then

they proceed to demand special treatment simply because they are ‘Muslims’. I

very much doubt they follow the Koran or even believe in God, they just want to

impose and reap the benefits from a system of dhimmitude which is based on

relegating all whites as ‘non-Muslim’ (new age ‘Sharia’ law anyone?).

And that’s the way it will be – certainly as far as the ‘white elite’ are concerned

until they allow someone to shit in their ice cream or else have their cutlery

pissed on.

Much like child vaccinations, if the parents don’t offer up the kids to the doctor

then the state will take them off you to ensure that it is done. How Islamic are

these ‘Muslims’? I wouldn’t even consider them Islamic, they should be called by

what they are – brown supremacist criminals. The corruption, apostasy and

criminality in Western countries is just as prevalent in Arab countries and indeed

the entire world.

Take Saudi Arabia for example; you do have a defacto caste system there. They

bring in foreign Muslims from all over the world to work there and then proceed to

exploit them. So much for Muslim solidarity, corruption is epidemic there

especially in the realm of religion. I know, I had a Saudi prince once tell me (there

are about 30000 royals) as he was swigging a beer. Political not religious,

criminal not political.

And yet as I write this there are umpteen thousands if not millions of people in

dire situations who just want a second chance or more correctly just want to live.

They cling onto hope for they have nothing else, and yet they are denied

because criminal governments will do anything just to stay in power and just to

be mini gods in Assiah and judging who lives and dies is just part of that.

While I’m in a nasty PA mode I’ll throw in my two cents worth on the Jews.

Actually their situation is quite similar to that of the Muslims, anyway what is a

Jew? As far as I’m concerned it should be anyone who adheres to the teachings

of Moses. But like the way of Christianity and Islam the politics have seemingly

overridden the spiritual. Jews are now deemed a ‘race’ even though they are

obviously different races. If you criticise the Jews you are called anti-Semitic or

antisemitic, what’s the difference you say? A lot, if you are anti-Semitc that

deems that you hate Semites. In that you would be hating Assyrians, Arabs and

Maltese (to a lesser extent). The term refers to biology and nothing else, however

antisemitism is a political term and could really refer to anything and changed at

anytime by political means.

Most Jews and more specifically most Askhenazi Jews are primarily Turkic – not

Semitic. I doubt very much that Mt. Sinai was in the Caucasus, as for the whole

Palestine/Israel thing?...Well…who really cares? And the “chosen people” thing?

Well that’s what the Muslims really hold against them, it’s as though the Jews

have relegated everyone else apart from themselves to the status of cattle (The

goyim? The herd?). Yet on the other hand you have Christian sects proclaiming

that the Jews are the chosen people and that it is the responsibility of everyone

to serve them. I don’t know about you but this seems to be another form of

dhimmitude.

It seems that all religions have been perverted and corrupted for political capital

by criminals. Blatant blasphemy and apostasy which seems to go unchallenged,

now Jesus apparently speaks in Old English and Mohammed speaks in Urdu. As

for the Jews? Well no sighting of Moses lately but Noah wrote down an extended

set of laws which makes it OK to kill and enslave non-Jews (must have been a

family argument on the ark). Utter crap which has been made politically correct

because it can be wrung for a buck and domination.

A silly conversation I had with an “I’m a Christian but Jews are Gods’ chosen

people” aka ziochristian. We were talking among a group of people when the

topic of religion came up. If you’ve heard the Abbott and Costello routine of

“Who’s on first?” you’ll understand.

Her: I’m a Christian. Are you a Christian?

Me: Not specifically, what do you mean by Christian?

Her: I believe in Jesus

Me: I believe there was a Jesus and his teachings, but I don’t believe he is God.

Her: Are you a Jew?

Me: No, I believe in God. I’m a monotheist but I’m not a Jew

Her: So you are a Christian?

Me: No, not in the way you are

Her: I believe that Jesus is God

Me: So the Jews pray to Jesus?

Her: No, the Jews pray to God

Me: So Jesus isn’t God?

Her: Yes he is!

Me: So the Jews pray to Jesus?

Her: No, the Jews pray to God

Me: So you don’t pray to God?

Her: Yes I pray to God

Me: So you don’t pray to Jesus?

Her: Yes I pray to Jesus

Me: So you pray to two deities? I thought there was only one God in Christianity?

Her: There is only one God!

Me: So Jesus isn’t God?

Her: Jesus is God!

Me: So the Jews pray to Jesus?...

I have to admit that I drew that out a little because of the fun I was having with

her. The end result was that she believed that Jews are the chosen people and

they worship God. Christians are meant to worship Jesus and serve the Jews

(namely by supporting Israel) and Muslims worship the moon. Apparently God

and Jesus are up in heaven sharing a throne, they are individual and yet the

same and…fucked if I can figure it out.

Spiritual belief? No way! Political creed? Absolutely! I wouldn’t even call it that, it

seems more like the symptoms of a mental illness. Fuck, this planet needs a tune

up.

Anyway, so am I still involved in the Pan-Aryan movement? No. I will still defend

my race against aggressors – I would be silly not to, but the stupidity and

bastardry that has infect my race has also taken hold amongst all races. The

criminal culture has taken hold of the public face of society and once again the

herd allows itself to be corralled in order to make it easier for the criminals to take

them to the slaughterhouse.

One day at my workplace we had to get some major electrical work done and six

electrical tradesmen came. They seemed to be run of the mill white guys; I didn’t

take much notice of them as I had things to do. Anyway it was time for their meal

break; they sat at the table and started talking while eating. It was then I thought I

was at a $2 strip bar; the biggest loudmouth was a guy I will refer to as ‘squiggy’

(if you remember the ‘Laverne and Shirley’ show you’ll know what I’m talking

about). This guy was about 20 stone, had slightly crossed eyes and looked like

he hadn’t taken a shower for a week. It was another case of people looking as

they are, he looked like an idiot and when he opened his mouth he removed all

doubt.

The conversation was based around bums, tits, beer, porn and fucking the

neighbours’ teenage daughters. They were the worst stereotype of tradesmen;

you could call them wiggers if you wanted. The thing was that these weren’t

young men as they were all aged between 40 and about 60. I sat there and saw

them eat like pigs at a troff and heard their grunting. The only time they didn’t

have their mouths jammed with food was to talk about tits. Squiggy sounded like

Santa Claus on helium with his “hoi, hoi, hoi…tits!” I swear if I had a gun I would

have shot that worthless fucker dead there and then.

I was looking at the herd, when squiggy left the room it quietened down

somewhat. During the day I spoke to those guys individually and found that they

weren’t as stupid as the behaved. I mean the average dimwit couldn’t do the

work that they did, handling and installing circuit boards and making electrical

connections etc. And yet when placed together it was tits and bums time again,

the herd speaks.

As a herd they vote in the leftist governments, the same governments that bring

in foreigners to shit in the ice cream and piss on their cutlery. For some strange

reason they think that it won’t happen to them, as though they are in the centre of

a herd and it is the stragglers and outsiders that this happens to. As long as it

happens to other people, well…then it’s not their problem. If they fuck other mens

wives and daughters then it’s a case of “Hey I’m a stud!” But if someone returns

the favour it’s a case of “That fucking arsehole muh dikked my daughter! Put him

in jail!”

It made me think about those who fought and died to defend the country, if they

could come back today and see what they were defending would they have gone

off to war? I think about my Pan-Aryan brethren who are either dead or in jail

doing hard time, what were they fighting for? So that arseholes like squiggy could

reproduce and spread his crass behaviour among future generations? These

types of people don’t appreciate sacrifice, if I was to tell them about Pan-

Aryanism they would be the first to call me a racist, beat me up and then call the

police to arrest me.

That day just broke my will; I more or less bowed out from the PA movement and

from what I understand most of the guys I knew have too. I suppose the good

thing was that I came to realise that I was fighting the symptoms of a disease

instead of the infection that caused it. I don’t believe that I’m the only one who

thinks along these lines, spirituality will prevail over physical differences. I look at

‘my fellow whites’ who have more faith in government than God, I look at the

blind faith they have in the decisions of people who actually want them dead. I

look at them and think “You tolerate all of this to preserve a slowly but certainly

diminishing lifestyle and yet do nothing to preserve your life or blood?”

In the recent Libyan civil war you had NATO launching airstrikes supposedly to

protect civilians which ended up killing just as many civilians if not more than the

‘bad guys’. In the name of ‘liberation’ a stable if autocratic regime was

overthrown, and yet at the Tripoli courthouse the Al-Qaeda flag was raised. It

seems that NATO and Al-Qaeda are flip sides of the same cheap crass coin of

politics, no matter what happens people will sell themselves and accept this coin

as payment. They are encouraged to double down on the toss of a coin and

wager their children and future generations, gambling the lot on a toss of a

crooked coin from the establishment. And as the establishment made the coin it

owns the coin, it made the game and its rules. It makes the toss…heads they win

and tales you lose.

One thing you should note from Libya is the ‘rebel’ NTC and its allies (really

Qatari and Saudi soldiers in civilian clothing, take them out of the picture and

what would the NTC actually have?) went on a ‘big jig kill’ and hunted down

blacks under the pretence that they were mercenaries. The new Libya wants no

niggers even if they come from there, Qataris and Saudis are doing what the

Klan never even attempted – to rid a foreign country of its blacks. If Arab Semites

are the new Klan, then logic follows that they are the new whites. A message to

the white middle class yobbos who cheered on the demise of Gaddafi in the pubs

and bars in Western cities – Your replacements are ready and you are no longer

required.

Ultimately there will only be two groups of people, the faithful who follow the laws

of God. And the criminal herd that oppose them.

I don’t care about the colours of the cattle - fuck the herd.

Chapter 11

Come listen to a story ‘bout a man called Aleister…Crowley that is. Born Edward

Alexander Crowley or simply known as Aleister Crowley (1875 – 1947). I find him

to be more legendary than extraordinary; there are people who hold him up to be

the best or worst in regards to the occult. I prefer to judge someone by what they

have actually done and the reasons why they did it rather than the idle or indeed

purposely designed gossip of others. Did I ever take an interest in him? To an

extent I did, but not in the fanatical way that others do. I was more interested in

him as a persona rather than his occult practices.

Certainly a life that seemed non-stop, he reminds me of what I planned in

regards to getting into the occult. To be a cosmonaut of the metaphysical, to

touch the void, to truly feel alive in body and intellect. To be shocked and

amazed at what I would find, to play games without frontiers and win…but we all

know how that ended up. What he really was and what he was made out to be

are more than likely not one and the same.

The Golden Dawn and the Ordo Templi Orientis were his training grounds,

people who tried and to a large extent have laid the foundations for occult

knowledge to be passed on for over the past century. They are the original

cosmonauts as far as I’m concerned and just like the space program in its

infancy there were mistakes made and men lost their way. But because of their

efforts I learned that magic is a science and art, I came to get a concept of

cosmology and though I can’t explain it in human language that concept is still in

my intellect. Yes there have been many other men since the beginning of human

history who strived for the heavens and bring forth knowledge of the unknown.

But the efforts of these guys of testing the boundaries and packaging the results

should not be forgotten, in terms of history they are the most relevant. I certainly

won’t forget them.

Aleister gave us Thelema and if you want the truth, he also gave us Wicca.

Gerald Gardner merely propagated the end product for the most but to be fair he

tweaked it with his experiences from living in south-east Asia. Certainly there was

‘witchcraft’ covens and practices in Britain (and elsewhere) but it was never had

any scientific principles or theory attached to it; basically it was sorcery and

nothing more.

Do I condemn those men? The likes of Crowley, Gardner along with the types of

Jack Parsons and Kenneth Grant? No, they did not start off with a malicious or

fraudulent intent. Nor did they attempt such, they just lost their way somewhere

but then again it’s something that could happen when you attempt to find and

touch the void. I was flicking through some of my old Rosicrucian lesson booklets

when I found a reference to Liber777. A work of Crowley, I don’t have a problem

about what Thelema and Wicca originally were but I do have a problem about

what they have become. I doubt any of these men would recognise the quackery

attributed to their names.

Was Crowley a Satanist? No I don’t think so, he just used whatever worked. As

for Thelema? I think it is among the lines of Ancient Egyptian beliefs and

practices; Moses, the Rosicrucians, the Enochian system, the Freemasons and

indeed Thelema all draw to some extent from Ancient Egypt. How did it all start?

I don’t know and I doubt any human could ever know for certain, we can’t time

travel. In all of this I would say that Sumeria is a key, but that’s just my opinion.

I could say the same for the Abrahamic faiths and indeed all religions, they had

to start somewhere. But now they have become corrupted, perverted and

hijacked by those more interested in political capital in order to wring a buck than

to spread spiritual enlightenment. Is there a true church? The only person who

can decide your status with God is you, your body is the temple and your intellect

is your minister. By the way…It costs you nothing to believe, pray or else speak

to God, paying a professional full time preacher to do it on your behalf is called

‘simony’ I believe.

Anyway Aleister had a friend called Jack Parsons and he in turn made

acquaintance with a man named Lafayette Ron Hubbard. Aleister didn’t like or

trust Lafayette despite never meeting him and warned Jack that this Lafayette

would rip him off. Upshot being that Lafayette (or L.Ron) ran off with Jacks’

mistress and married her. He then used a mish mash of what he learned from

Jack as some sort of creed and went to found the Church of Scientology (which

is only a church for taxation purposes). And then things just got plain silly from

there.

You may read everything I’ve written so far and say “This is bullshit! Fine don’t

believe me; I’m certain I said that earlier. Where did I get that attitude from?

Drum roll please…Aleister Crowley! He said the same thing and that is why his

writings have confusing if not ridiculous passages and sentences in them. Why?

Because people would scratch their heads and think “WTF!?” and this would

propel them to do the research for themselves and in doing so they would better

comprehend what it was they were learning and doing. You want to shoot me

down? Go ahead, but have something better to offer in place of what I’ve written.

If people would question my words and motives (and I encourage this) then why

won’t they do the same of others? I see TV preachers giving some story on how

Jesus talks to them and asks them to ask you for money. Do I believe them? No

fucking way! Am I calling them liars, well seeing as I have never met these

people I don’t know their true beliefs or motivation. They may be true or they

could be mentally unstable or they could simply be flim-flam men who enjoy the

good life. But they’re not taking my money or taking my time and I don’t really

have a need to find out. If you want a yes/no answer? OK, yes they are bullshit

artists.

But I make the same claim against Muslims with their illiterate Pakistani mullahs

claiming that Jihad against white people is the way to God, as well as the

dumbass disposable brown supremacy stooges that follow them. Jesus wants

your money, Mohammed wants you to kill white people, Noah wants you to kill or

enslave non-Jews etc. Sure…I’ll believe them if they believe that I get messages

from Elvis in my alphabet soup. Nothing to do with God but everything to do with

political capital.

Scientology is still going, why? Anyone remember the group ‘Anonymous’ which

came to prominence after it declared war on Scientology? I was a ‘member’ (so

you could say but it never had a membership) of Anonymous. There were times

when it seemed that scientology was on the ropes and all it needed was a good

right hook to send it down for the count, so what happened?

It was hijacked by leftist and atheist interests, now the ex-scientologists who

were a guiding force behind the movement have been sidelined. Anonymous fell

into the trap of trying to mean everything to everyone (certainly on the left side of

politics) and ended up meaning nothing to no-one. Much like Facebook has

become a hunting ground for criminals and perverts so too has Anonymous to

the extent that it pretty much exists in name only. The one in Sydney (or what’s

left of it) became overrun by leftists, pornography interests and militant gay rights

activists and there were rumours that some criminals had signed up just to get

info on the members in order to sell it to the scientologists. Political

capital…yeah…Does it pay well? I don’t know? But it doesn’t deserve to.

But in the grand scheme of things it’s neither here nor there, or could it be? I’m

not worried by scientology; they are more of a threat to their believers than

anything. Just another godless creed cum ideology cum faith cum fraud as far as

I’m concerned. However it does demonstrate a practice of the worst cult of the

lot, not so in its ‘gods’ as you can chop and change as you wish. You can make

up your tenets and adhere (or not adhere) to the principles and morals of your

‘religion’ as you wish. What is that religion or practice I hear you say? It is

Baalism.

How do I describe it? Well, I can use an example such as L.Ron is the ‘baal’ of

scientology because to his adherents (stooges? victims?) there is no higher

authority than him. Sure he is long dead but he lives on in the minds of his

faithful, “I with him and he in me” (sound familiar?), a collective consciousness

‘we are all L.Ron!’

Baal just means “master” (there is a demon named Baal but that is a separate

matter) as in someone of a higher authority. I’ve read in the Bible how there was

a Baal on earth who was worshipped as a god. Most probably there was but he

would have been a mortal – a ‘man-god’. Depending on who you go by, Baal was

a son of El Elyon (the Most High) and decided he wanted to be worshipped too.

Yep, you can say this describes Lucifer and in a corrupt way can describe Jesus.

The big difference is that Lucifer sought to be worshipped and Jesus did not.

Jesus gave us the Lords’ Prayer saying we should only worship the Father. I

think that’s right, after all where in the Bible did Jesus say “I am God - worship

me!” He never said he was God. He was born of a human and the physical

cannot give birth to the spiritual. Jesus was mortal or human in the physical

sense. As to where did his intellectual animation come from? I don’t know, but if

you think that Jesus is a physical human being living in the clouds or in a spiritual

realm somewhere then you don’t especially seem to know the laws of nature (or

thermodynamics and physics for that matter). To say what he was doesn’t lessen

his mission or message and indeed he succeeded. Born as a man in the physical

and ascending to the heavens as the Christ, this is the example we should be

following.

I don’t have anything against Jesus but sometimes looking at the practices of his

followers sometimes makes me wish that Christianity didn’t exist. The baal

worship they practice puts Jesus in the same category of politicians, celebrities

and pornstars and this is not only blasphemous and an act of apostasy but is

also plain wrong. And it’s not only Christians, the same thing happens in Islam

where the hadith (sayings) of Mohammed are more important than the Koran

which is the word of God as told by the Archangel Gabriel to Mohammed. Did

Mohammed say he was God? Did he say his words were more important than

the ones that Gabriel told him? I find that extremely unlikely.

If Jesus wants your money I’m sure he would come and tell you himself rather

than get a TV preacher to do it for him. If Mohammed wants you to blow yourself

up then he would probably be around to see you with a suicide vest with your

name on it. If you follow and obey those who claim to speak on behalf of God,

the ones who claim that God told them to shake everyone down for obedience

and submission to them. If you follow such people then God is no longer your

baal, nor do the prophets become your baal. Instead it is some guy who is

seeking to make political capital who becomes your baal. There is one God and

one God only, he has no partners and no equals – his unity is one.

There is a difference between being a leader of men and being a master of men.

Jesus was a leader, Mohammed was a leader, George Washington was a leader

and so on. None of them claimed to own the human species and they didn’t pimp

themselves as being the only way to salvation within themselves; the prophets

were servants of God on this earth in this world of Assiah, they weren’t “selfemployed”!

Those men and others like them were of a far finer calibre than the

roaches of today who function on narcissism and a good P.R. spin campaign on

TV and other media.

Not only do people have a lack of faith in God but they have no faith in

themselves and this is the problem. In the world of the blind, the one eyed man is

king. In the world of the herd the cattle dog is king and the rancher is baal. Would

you take shit from a cattle dog? People seem to be content with losing a thread a

day from their security blanket than risk having it taken in one go. What

difference does it make? The end result is the same and the baals of Assiah

know this and they will play you for all your worth because they know they have

no worth of their own.

Let me ask you in all honesty – If I were to start up a cult, do you think I would

get a following? And even if I were just some crook looking to get my dick sucked

and make some money, do you think I would get away with it? You may think

“but I’ve read your book and you can’t fool me!” But what of others who haven’t?

I look at Western people and governments telling the Arab world how it should

have ‘transparency in government’ while taking it away or surrendering it from

their own. I say to you if you want 100% transparency in government then you

have to have it in your societies. When you do that you take away the sea for the

flim-flam men to hunt in. I like the Linux computer operating system because it

has ‘open software’ or ‘open source’ and it works quite well. In fact the internet

which is dominated by Apache servers functions on it. The only problem for Linux

is that it isn’t headed by one person or baal who can make executive decisions

for all its distributions; neither does it have a huge P.R. campaign to indoctrinate

everyone. In other words no-one owns ‘faith’ in God; it is free to all and is meant

to be transparent not wrapped up in laws that are more relevant to a business

administration.

I’m sure that you could readily find out every scam artist posing as a messiah

and you probably know of a few already. If you know something – say something,

never stop questioning till you get the answers you can comprehend and

understand. I look at scammers like a supposed ‘Gnostic’ leader who calls

himself ‘Belzebuub’ (like wow dude! I’m a reformed demon…real name Mark

Pritchard) and his dealings. Alan John Miller is a whackjob who claims to be

Jesus (he aint poor either), big deal you say? But yet they continue to get

followers, it may not matter to you now but what are you going to say if they suck

in your relatives or those of a friend?

So when these people push ‘their amazing wisdom’ in your face, don’t believe

them. Check out their information for yourself and check out who they actually

are. Just like “Uncle Frank” on the ouija board may have been interesting to listen

to, but would you accept such information on face value? If you wouldn’t accept it

from a spirit on face value then don’t accept it from men. Men have more reason

to lie than spirits because they can make physical gain. Just a note: I never found

that the spirits ever lied to me, in times that I accepted falsehoods it was because

I made assumptions. They never deceived me, I had deceived myself. They just

didn’t correct me and played the game of semantics on what I thought, just like

politicians do to the voting public.

Meh…I throw this in about todays ‘satanic’ creeds, there is a group known as the

ONA or Order of the Nine Angles. They are supposedly a satanic cult but they

are more along the lines of the ‘Church of Satan’, if you want to see

psychobabble at its best then read their stuff. Some of these clowns see ritual as

a ‘psycho-dramatic performance’ in other words it is their version of kumbayah

and they don’t believe it themselves. I only mention it because of David Myatt

who was and now probably is a baal of these boofheads. He reminds me

of…well…me, he travelled the same path but got caught up in his philosophy of

‘numinous’ living. I can kind of get a grasp on it, when I found out he abandoned

Islam a couple of years ago (he practiced Islam for about ten years) it kind of left

me gutted. But I can’t condemn him for it; after all did I not do something similar?

I don’t think he wants to become a baal or at least I hope not. Maybe he is just

like Crowley and uses whatever works to touch the void.

If religious organisations not longer wish to be perceived as cults then they must

stop behaving as such. Same applies to the adherents of any faith; if they

behave as a herd they will be treated and controlled as such. Openness will be

for the betterment of all, openness in plain English or any other human language.

No Hegelian or Marxist dialectic, no vague terms subject to interpretation by a

select few with unlimited power – all that shit has to go. That applies to all

aspects of Assiah regardless of who has the most to gain or lose. If you want to

gain, first you have to lose. Lose the herd mentality and gain knowledge. I

believe Jehovah is the only God and the only God ever. Once you establish a

relationship with God and an honest one at that, then everything else will fall into

place. That’s my advice and you can check it for yourself.

Praise Jehovah and praise his name.

Chapter 12

When I started out writing this book I didn’t know how long it would take or other

circumstances in my life that would come about while doing so. I wasn’t too sure

what I was to do with it when I finally finished, but when would I finally put a cut

off date on this? I thought it would be 2011 but things have happened in my life

since and I thought it would be unfair not to tell you. So I will add on to this book

about things that have happened up till this present time (2013) and maybe I

haven’t been all that forthright with you on all aspects of my story.

I have been honest with you so far, the things that I described happening did

actually happen. Anyway let me continue…….

The most important thing that happened was the death of my mother; she was

living in the UK when she became gravely ill. Being in Australia I wasn’t with her

when she took ill and nobody told me. I believe that it was her doing not to inform

us in Australia because she didn’t want any of her family to worry. It was only

after repeatedly calling her and getting no answering on the phone that I began

to worry. A friend of hers rang me and told me that she was in hospital, after

making a few phone calls and asking around I finally found out that her pancreas

had basically shutdown and she more or less was comatose.

Being on the other side of the world from her the only thing I could really do was

magic. Of course I prayed and then spoke to Jehovah asking “why?”, I think that

we as humans must go into a higher spiritual or consciousness state when these

sorts of situations happen. We think and act in ways which we didn’t even have a

concept of, I suppose it was that which brought me to magic in the first place.

The archetypes are there but we just don’t recognise or seek them until a certain

circumstance arises. We become more open and honest and in doing so we stop

denying our natural persona or spirit.

I asked Jehovah what can I do to heal my mother, the answer I got somewhat

stunned me. “It is nothing to do with you!” after rather quickly collecting my

thoughts I said that it was my mother and it had everything to do with me.

Jehovah explained that it was her life not mine, I suppose we sometimes fail to

recognise that our parents may cause us to be physical beings in the physical

world but they also have their spiritual beings which are independent from us and

don’t give birth to our spiritual beings for that matter. They have their own

destinies and we have ours. So is life ‘fixed’? Well it seems to be, certainly as to

physical life on this earth. You may ask about ‘freewill’ but I don’t think that we

have absolute freewill but rather ‘free option’ as you can only exercise freewill

with the options that are available to you at any given time.

In this situation magic was an option that I had and I intended to do so. I told

Jehovah that I was going to do this regardless of the consequences. So here I

was in a face off of sorts against God, even when I was a Satanist I never found

myself in such a direct confrontation with Jehovah as I found myself now. He

pretty much said I can do what I will; sometimes I wonder if other people in the

situation I was in just resigned themselves or went into a state of constant

pleading. Did others have the same resolve as I did but didn’t know how to go

about it? The plan or decision of Jehovah was seemingly made and here I was

going against it. I didn’t know if I was going to get payback for it but I decided this

was a case of “all or nothing”. Once again I bet everything on the turn of a card.

I set out my planning and it was difficult to say the least, doing magic to or on

behalf on someone else is easy compared to doing for someone like your

mother. I was in a “all or nothing” situation, the sort where if things go wrong then

they really go wrong and if they went wrong it would be all upon my head. I can

understand why some surgeons will not operate on family members in life or

death situations unless it is absolutely a last resort. More phone calls to the UK

revealed things were pretty grim now, my mother was hooked up to machines to

keep her breathing and was now comatose – officially it wasn’t life support but it

seemed more or less that the plane was in a slow death spiral and the ground

crew were preparing for the impact.

Time was of the essence and physical results were needed here and now. I

decided out of the four worlds I would use Assiah, thing was I had never used

that world before. I chose an Angel/God form from the Shem ha-Mephorash and

instead of using Kether as the sephira, I went to Tiphareth as it specifically is the

sephira to do with health and healing. The colour of Tiphareth in Assiah is amber

and I chose the candles of that specific colour, with Assiah you are dealing with

the physical world and trying to get a ‘here and now’ result.

With the other three worlds you have Atziluth (the purely spiritual), Briah (creation

or how you visualise something to come about) and Yetzirah (formation or the

blueprints if you will). When you just use Assiah alone you forgo the other three

and don’t have any input in how the end result will come about. You will get your

result but it will be quick and dirty.

Anyway I went ahead with the ritual, with other rituals I performed in Briah there

is a ‘high’ or an ‘uplifting experience’ after completion, a type of joy if you like.

With this ritual there was none but a feeling of having a type of completion, I felt

like I was filled with concrete but not in a physical way. As though I had become

somewhat grounded, in Briah you feel as though a vibe has ascended above you

or skywards but in Assiah that vibe seems never to rise above the ground.

Something like striking the earth with a rod or like spilling a large amount of water

on a carpet, you see the wet area expanding in a circle from where you spilled

the water. It seemed my vibe was doing the same thing to cover this planet, I

didn’t feel as though I had done anything wrong, then Jehovah spoke to me

again. “I give you 13 out of 20, you did enough to pass.” I was then trying to

figure out if I did anything wrong then what was it?

Looking through my notes I began to see what I had done wrong and what I

could have done better. And find my mistakes I did, I suppose that I was in such

a rush to get this ritual up and running that I didn’t fine tune the ritual. But as

magic in Assiah tends to be quick and dirty maybe I fell into a characteristic that

is native to Assiah and not to myself. Also Assiah is the world of the Qlippoth, as

well as to Satan and as well as ourselves. Qlippoth are just ‘rebel’ spirits and loas

also come under that term.

I suppose that by performing that ritual in Assiah I had made a spiritual

connection to that world and by doing so the spiritual world of Assiah would or

could try and make a physical connection to my physical being. I did get a visitor

not long after the ritual, a loa named Marinette. Actually her name is Marinette

Bwa Cheche as voodoo practitioners know her I on the other hand prefer to call

her Marinette Pied Noir. She appeared to me as a black woman dressed in a

manner like a good ol’ southern mammy, I was just sitting on my bed and she sat

at the end of it. She didn’t say anything at first and just looked at me with big

soulful eyes much the way a dog would when it knows its master was down in

the dumps.

“Marinette? What brings you here?” I asked. She just said I know what you are

feeling I know it. It was the manner in how she said it, like that of someone who

had been in the same or similar position before. All I could do is think like I was

some guy a wife was cheating with hoping the husband didn’t somehow find out.

I was hoping that Jehovah couldn’t see us together, but as we all know he sees

everything and knows everything. She went but came back two days later to talk

to me about magical matters; she then pitched to me a proposal about a ritual

and a murderous one at that. In this I was to kidnap someone I didn’t like for

whatever reason, dig a hole in a nearby graveyard and bury this person alive

standing up facing east and then perform a ritual facing east.

“East? Why east? Wouldn’t something like this be performed facing west?” What

she told me was something I’d never expected “It is to be done facing east

because you cannot oppose order.” It made me wonder if loas and other spirits

do not oppose order then why is it that humans do? However I decided to end

the conversation there and then, no I was not going to go any other way. I trust in

Jehovah and that is all that matters, if I were to perform a blood sacrifice ritual it

would be for Jehovah and Jehovah only. Maybe Marinette was thinking about

herself being the first priority in any arrangement that we could have formed. Just

like most people I suppose in that number one comes first. Although Marinette is

quite an evil loa in nature her selfishness is no better or worse than anyone else.

She came again the next day and all I said was that she go away and never

come back, that was the last I saw of her. I do hope she can be reconciled to

Jehovah, if someone comes to you in your time of trouble should you not do the

same in theirs regardless of their motivations? Anyway…

As for my mother? Well here’s how it panned out, seven days after the ritual I got

a phone call telling me my other was fully awake, comprehensible, off the

machines and actually able to feed herself. I actually got to speak to her when

someone brought in a mobile phone into the hospital. Speaking to her everything

seemed fine, I asked her how long she was going to be in hospital and all she

simply said was “I don’t know?” in a somewhat bemused state. I truly thought I

had hit the jackpot and was now just waiting for a flight to the UK to see her.

But alas, the ritual took seven days to take effect but the effect only lasted seven

days. Anything done quick and dirty doesn’t usually last that long, she fell back

into a coma and ended up on life support. She died not long after, I thought I was

going to heal my mother but I am not a doctor and was not the doctor treating

her. All I did was to buy time.

I have used Assiah other times after that and it does work, but the results are

‘coarser’ than the other worlds.

So what else do I have to mention? Well, there are two other times where I spoke

to God so they might be interesting to you. After I took care of business in the UK

and returned back to Australia, things were going to change somewhat. I moved

into a new area and in a way it was a new chapter for me. I suppose thinking

back on Marinette led me to resonate with the ‘black sheep’ of Jehovahs’ entire

progeny (well that’s what they are). Despite Marinettes’ somewhat selfish

intentions she was in fact the only entity who appeared to me in my time of

trouble with my mother. Whether the ritual she wanted me to perform would have

saved the life of my mother I don’t know. It was a situation of ‘it’s better than noone’

I suppose…

Maybe it was my workings with Assiah that made me more in ‘tune’ with the

spiritual world to do with it as well as its inhabitants. Kind of like my ‘antenna’ was

picking up signals from them, as though I was listening in on the same frequency

as the spiritual realm of Assiah. For whatever reason I was being drawn more

and more to Lilith, she was the first wife of Adam – not Eve. This is a part of

mankind that is always conveniently overlooked or ignored.

The message I got from God (I assume? Maybe it might have been some other

entity?) was that I was to bring pray and devotion to return Lilith back to the

righteous path. That I was to bring this cause to the public and to all people, that I

could do so by using 'Our Lady of Czestochowa' or the Black Madonna to do so

by making public shrines to her and ask people to pray and make a public

declaration for Lilith to return to God.

Did I think I was going mad? I certainly questioned myself but actually no, that

made it seem worse. I was wondering was purpose would there be to do this and

why should I bother?

The response was 'Have you forgotten this? I excused your actions.' I then saw

myself as a 19 year old praying to satan, I mean that I saw a younger version of

myself from that time as in out of body praying to satan. It was me - same

hairstyle, same skintone, same everything. I didnt know what to think, so I just

accepted it.

I went outside to take a walk, trying not to think I ended up doing so. 'I

mean....where am I supposed to build a shrine?'

The response? “She likes the water, especially the running water”

As I lived near a river I walked by it on the footpath, there is a ferry pier there and

as I was just strolling wondering what was happening to me I stopped at a wall

near the pier and while looking over it I looked down below at the sandbank

underneath. Behind a large rock for some unknown reason were two candles

burning, I could not see any reason for anyone to light the candles and put them

there. For what point? Unless you were specifically looking for them you would

not have seen them. I was not specifically looking for them because I did not

know they were there, well after that what could I say or even think?

I went back home and after thinking about everything I decided that I didn’t want

this job.

The response: Laughter and “Moses didn’t want his job either”. I said that I am

not a Catholic and that there would be Catholics who would be more fanatical

than me to do this, especially as it concerns the Virgin Mary.

The response: “I don’t want fanatics, I want someone who can do the job, I know

you can do this”. As much as I thought about it, rationalised it, I knew that the

script has been written.

Freewill is an illusion; your choices are made according to your circumstances

and sometimes you don’t have a choice. Call it synchronicity or coincidence if

you wish, you just happen to know that the end result will occur and you know

why and you also know that you cannot change it if you wanted.

I do hope that Lilith and Marinette do attempt to reconcile with Jehovah and I do

hope Jehovah can welcome them back into the family on good terms. You may

ask what would that change? Well it changes everything; if Lilith and Marinette

can be reconciled with Jehovah then would that not also make it possible for

Lucifer to seek forgiveness?

As for the other time? I went to an open mic stand up session and went on stage.

I think I did alright but I was performing before an audience of gays, left-wingers

and other cappuccino set 'artistes' who had come to fanatically cheer the lesbian

wannabe comedian (she wasn’t all that good doing comedy but was OK if you

could use her as a fuck toy).

Anyway I went home and talked to God and asked if I could make a living from

doing stand up. I told him I don’t get why someone like Adam Sandler is

considered funny when he is a shit actor and even worse comic. His fans are

morons who could charitably called degenerate. I asked why the Jews control all

the entertainment industry; this is what he told me more or less.....

'Macrocosm and microcosm, this world (Assiah) is a stage to me. You are here

for my entertainment and this is why I give you autonomy.' He then proceeded to

inform me that we are 'actors' so to speak and we play roles. There is a script for

all of us as to when we begin our role and when it finishes (destiny), but the

action/dialogue in the script is not completely set (freewill).

So that is the bigger picture (macrocosm) and the Jews somewhat understand

this and apply it to us in this world (microcosm or little picture). So we are not a

willing audience but in fact a captive one.

When you look at it the reason that racial/social/national etc. groups fail is

because they care about how they look to other people at certain times when the

most important audience watches us 24-7. Suicide bombers are a prime

example; they don’t give a fuck what anyone says they only care about what God

says. He is the audience you want to impress, not a bunch of arseholes who

would sell your friendship and dedication for a 6 pack.

When I was speaking to God about my stand up routine, he said I was right to do

it because I deserved some fun and then he added what did I do to make him

laugh? I couldn’t answer because I had not considered it.

And I think that is why most people fail to connect to God, when you think of it

our existence in Assiah is like a giant ant farm, for an ant to stand out it would

have to do something amazing. Much like pets, they will try to impersonate your

behaviour and perform all sorts of tricks to get your attention. You may not

approve of all of their behaviour but you will certainly take notice of them, and

may change your behaviour to encourage the bits you do like because you will

see them differently from any run-of-the-mill dog or cat.

If you just want to eat, sleep, shit and fuck well then you are no better than the

average cat or dog and even they have their own personalities. God wants us to

amaze him, to bring delight through good and unpredictable actions.

When you look at the world today and the sacks of crap posing as humans

well.....the script is pretty predictable. Even Satan thinks that AssiahTV is a shit

channel and he’s the talent agent for a large amount of actors.

As for any other ‘out of this world’ experiences I’ve had since 2011, well I can’t

offer any that are like the ones mentioned. Maybe I did see other experiences

I’ve had in a different light; again it is fair to say that our lives change due to

factors of circumstance and time. And with magic we are attempting to change

those circumstances to our personal comfort zone within a certain time period.

But sometimes we have to endure certain circumstances because we will learn

and experience from them. After all, it’s only when we are put into a situation

where we don’t know what to do that we push our thinking process to seek

archetypes that we currently have no concept of.

Chapter 13

While I’m on the subject of magic I will add the following which I posted as a

thread on various boards. I’ll just tidy it a bit and add on where necessary…

While recently reading a thread on a site about internet warriors I decided to put

this forth because there are some people on the site who want to achieve

something against their enemies but are unable to do so due to physical

constraints. Anyway you have a right to retaliate against those who wronged you

and you have a right to know that which I will tell you.

So what I will do is teach you how to perform magic against avowed enemies of

God and yourself and your society. Unlike the 'give us a few hundred dollars and

we'll give you a spell' crooks, I intend to show you all aspects of the particular

actions I will get you to perform if you wish to.

I want you to understand what you will be doing and why you will be doing it.

Scenario: (so far...)

A loud mouthed pompous baal of sorts is always using every opportunity to slag

off at your beliefs and faith. You want to shut him up permanently.

Now to act....

In preparing any sort of attack on an enemy you need intel, including here. But

you have to choose your enemies wisely, you have to choose not only the most

offensive to all but you should also choose the most likely to chimpout.

"The ones who easily offend and are most easily offended"

You are not only looking to do someone over but also looking to discredit their

work, cause and that of their friends/allies.

So far....

1. Pick your target

2. List their allies/friends

3. List any organisations they are involved with

4. And their relationships to these organisations and each other

When you have done this you should review the information without bias, you

may find that the person you chose out of a personal hatred may not be the best

target. If there is someone else in your list who does more damage to your

society regardless of whether they have a high or low profile and whose ruination

will be more destructive to their cause as a whole then you should make them

your initial target. Remember it's not solely about you, if it were then you should

just go and kill them.

Review your targets and list them in priority. Now make listings on the following

of the targets....

Full name

Birthday (including time of birth if possible)

Place of birth

Name of parents

Name of spouse and children

Name of grandparents

Why should you do this? Simple...these types of people are all about bloodlines,

it is their bloodline they wish to advance and it is that which is their weakpoint. As

for the full name it is to do with numerology and gematria, and with birthday it is

to do with zodiac factors.

Now once again you review your targets, depending on how much information

you can get you have to make a definite single choice....but not just yet.

There is also timing to consider, how soon do you wish/need to do it? Also

consider the target zodiac/planetary attributes as well as the attributes of the time

you wish to or can only do the ritual required and even attributes relating to

yourself. As you see it is not just a matter of abracadabra.

Also you have to consider the flow on or trickle down effects, let's say you wish to

kill a politician because they are a bad bastard. Sure you may rub them out but

you could get someone even worse in their place. It is not just an airy-fairy thing

as you might imagine, you have to do some serious thinking. You will get to know

GOD after all...you will petition him...directly! It is he that decides ultimately

whether you succeed or fail, not just in magic but all aspects of life.

So you began the exercise with the intention of taking a particular person out but

now you have a 'Top 5' or even 'Top 10' of targets. Now you could go with the

determination to get the original target regardless of the cost or effect, or you can

take a tradesman type approach to do the job you think you would be best suited

to. In order to assess the job you can do you have to see what tools are available

to you and the tools you actually know how to use.

Toolbox:

Shem Ha-Mephorash

Gematria/Mathematics

Zodiac -Astrology/Planetary factors

Kabbalah

Ceremony/Ritual

Symbolic factors

So I'll use the following texts...

Book on the Shem Ha-Mephorash by Lenain or Papus

The book of the sacred magic of Abramelin the mage

Godwins' Cabalistic Encyclopaedia

You can also use other books which can refer to astrology, herbalism, etc. as you

need to. I highly recommend the last book.

Anyway, I'll use this target as an example as for what to do - Richard Dawkins

Now I don't really care if someone wants to fuck him over, I'm just using him as

an example. He is way past his 'prime' and nothing more than an unfashionable

burnout who is getting wishy-washy about his convictions because it has dawned

on him that he will kiss the dirt in a few years or so. Makes you wonder how

'atheist' these criminals are. He shouldn’t be all that concerned with what I write if

he believes that things like magic are all bullshit.

So let's get to work....

NAME: Clinton Richard Dawkins

D.O.B.: 26 March 1941

PLACE OF BIRTH: Nairobi, Kenya Colony

WIVES:

Marian Stamp Dawkins

Eve Barham

Lalla Ward

CHILDREN: Juliet Emma Dawkins

PARENTS:

Clinton John Dawkins

Jean Mary Vyvyan (née Ladner)

From this we get that he is an Aries and more importantly we get his full name

Clinton = 20+30+10+50+400+70+700=1280

Richard = 200+1+8+1+200+4=414

Dawkins = 4+1+6+20+1+50+60=142

1280+414+142= 1836 which using gematria matches 'Sekhel Mitnotzetz' or

'Resplendent Intelligence'

It is the 10th path of wisdom; it matches to Malkuth which is represented by

Earth. Malkuth means 'the Kingdom' in relation to the Tree of Life and the

number 10 corresponds to the absolute idea of 'reality'

Now some of you might be wondering why it would take an investigation on a

target to make a move against him possible. Well if you want to petition God to

take out someone you should at least be correct about who you want to take out.

If you say that you want the English guy Richard Dawkins rubbed out, well which

Richard Dawkins do you mean? If you went into a court with unverified evidence

you shouldn’t be surprised if the judge called you a fuckwit and threw your case

out of court.

Looking at the info gathered so far there is no mistake who I am describing (the

actual being, he could change his name tomorrow but I still have his birth date

and the names of his wives and kid...he cant change that) and in fact I could

seek to impersonate him on the net. The net is accessible by the physical

computer to the non physical realm of 'the net', after all how do you measure it at

any given time?

God helps them that help themselves and you only deserve the reward from the

effort you put in. That’s why most prayer fails; people put no effort into their

prayer and have no consideration for how the result is achieved. You may want a

couple of hundred thousand to go to Vegas, so you pray (or demand!) that God

cough up ASAP.

Next day you get a phone call telling you that both your parents were killed in a

car crash but the life insurance policies will payout soon. Hey you weren’t specific

about how you got it! Gather up as much info and sort out the factors resulting

from it.

Continuing..........

26/03/1941

26+03+1941 = 1970 = 1+9+7 = 17 = 1+7 = 8

No.8 people are said to be control freaks, this matches Dawkins

As I earlier stated "Easy to offend and are easily offended"

Seeing as Dawkins supposedly doesn’t believe in this sort of stuff he denies

himself the ability to know himself. When you undertake an action like this you

seek to know more about a person than they do about themselves.

And when you do you can pre-empt them, success will follow. I mentioned before

that Dawkins is an '8' person, not especially important in itself but is a strand to

add on. I look at it this way, if you wanted to cross over a large gap and all there

was to use was a rope bridge you would want more than one strand of rope

holding or forming it. Same could be said for an electrical cord, you would want

more than one strand of wire to carry a 240 volt charge. So by looking up every

conceivable aspect involved with the ritual and the target we can add strands of

wire to the cord. Or in hacking terms it is 'sweating the small stuff'.

Now in the Tree of Life the 8th sephira is Hod, it means 'Glory' it is symbolised by

Mercury and is more or less to do with the realm of communication and speed.

Again this seems to match up with Dawkins, but he is a godless loud mouthed

narcissist and uses his 'birthright' wrongly.

If the pen is mightier than the sword, then I want him to cut his throat with one. A

major league chimpout using his 'birthright' to do so to his acolyte audience of

God haters and other filth. Off-hand I can think of two ways to destroy his socalled

belief in there being no God or as seeing God as an enemy.

1. Make his daughter the target instead of him, when he realises his rotten

bloodline and name will be forgotten he will realise what a waste his life has been

in the service of evil.

Ok....that really is a bit simple and you don’t know what his daughter is really like.

2. We bring Abramelin into it....

http://www.grimoires.com/Abramelin/index.html

Go to the 22nd chapter, now you can pick whatever you want but I'm thinking

No.4. The square is a 5x5 (5 letters by 5 letters) and comes under Geburah (the

5th sephira). If you don’t know what that means then look it up for yourself!

Quick overview....

We have the following sephira covered....

Geburah - No.5, this is done with the Abramelin square.

Hod - No.8, this is linked with his birthdate and demonstrated by his loud mouth

nature

Malkuth - No.10, this is linked via gematria because of the mathematical value of

his name

Get a hold of a diagram of the Tree of Life and look at the relation of those

sephira to each other. If we manage to factor in Kether and Binah we will have

created a path from 1 to 10 using the left hand pillar - severity.

So let's say we factor in one of the Shem Ha-Mephorash God aspects as the

Kether part and make Saturday as the day of ritual to factor in Binah, we could

say the chain is complete.

Whoa ace! Don’t think it’s that easy!

We still have to factor in the 'what ifs' as well as preparing our case to present to

God. If it was just a matter of wishing people dead do you think you would still be

here?

Now it's time to refer to the Shem Ha-Mephorash to decide which God form in

bring into our ritual. There are 72 of them...

http://guideangel.com

Scroll down till you find this text...

“Here are 3 versions of the 72 names in English letters”. (there are more ). Now

off-hand I have picked the following...

(No.15) God the Creator - Hariel

(No.16) God who erects the Universe - Hakamiah

(No.20) God the Redeemer - Pahaliah

(No.27) God who punishes the Wicked - Jerathel

(No.29) God prompt to aid - Reiiel

(No.41) God in three persons - Hahahel

(No.45) Mover of all things - Sealiah

You can also refer to numbers 53, 71 and 72

As you can see there is a variety to choose from and it also brings in a variety of

factors. Each of the God aspects/forms (or Angels if you wish) has a star sign

assigned to it and in doing so has planetary factors as well as other factors

assigned to it as well.

So you can add more strands to the cord as you need or wish, you should only

add the strand if it is absolute. You cannot (or should not) use 'fuzzy math' just to

add something on. In fact it would be best to have only a couple of factors which

are absolute rather than an avalanche of iffy factors. Keep it as simple as

possible and only expand as you gain the knowledge and experience to do so.

There are two schools of thought on the astrological aspects of the Shem Ha-

Mephorash. This is to do with the order; myself....I see and know Vehuiah to be

the first and the astrological sign to be Aries.

Look up the aspects yourselves, you need to discover for yourselves that which

is required to be known before you go any further. This you should do because I

ain’t going to give you a shrink wrapped/no thinking required explanation.

Now let us review our selections in order to decide the timing of the ritual.

You will rarely find everything just happens to fall in place as you want so you

have to do some adjusting; it depends on how quick you wish to do it.

We'll go by zodiac signs that are governed by the aspects

God the Creator - Hariel - (No.15) Gemini

God who erects the Universe - Hakamiah - (No.16) Gemini

God the Redeemer - Pahaliah - (No.20) Cancer

God who punishes the Wicked - Jerathel - (No.27) Leo

God prompt to aid - Reiiel - (No.29) Leo

God in three persons - Hahahel - (No.41) Libra

Mover of all things - Sealiah - (No.45) Scorpio

God who humbles the proud - Nanael - (No.53) Sagittarius

God, master of the Universe - Haiel - (No.71) Pisces

Mumiah - (No.72) Pisces

We are looking at planetary influences so we match up a star sign to complement

the planets in play that we will be using. Mars and Saturn are good for doing bad

things and Mercury is good for speed and just by coincidence they are all found

in the left hand pillar of the Tree of Life.

Looking at the zodiac.....

Aries - Ram - March 21 - April 19

Taurus - Bull - April 20 - May 20

Gemini - Twins - May 21 - June 20

Cancer - Crab - June 21 - July 22

Leo - Lion - July 23 - August 22

Virgo - Virgin - August 23 - September 22

Libra - Balance - September 23 - October 22

Scorpio - Scorpion - October 23 - November 21

Sagittarius - Archer - November 22 - December 21

Capricorn - Goat - December 22 - January 19

Aquarius - Water Bearer - January 20 - February 18

Pisces - Fish - February 19 - March 20

It would seem that either.....

God the Creator - Hariel - (No.15) Gemini

God who erects the Universe - Hakamiah (No.16) Gemini

Would be the go if I was planning to do it sometime from May 21 - June 20 as

this is the closest timeframe to the present time. But I am more concerned with

conflicts and complements between planets and zodiac signs.

Anyway I've chosen....

Mover of all things - Sealiah - (No.45) Scorpio

Reasons being that it the star sign complements the Mars aspect that is needed

for the ritual, it also is governed by Pluto if the appropriate zodiac hour (7 am/pm

or Scorpio hour on Mars hour = Pluto hour) matches the Mars hour.

Pluto is the planet for transformation

Now we go to this site....

http://www.astrology.com.tr/planetary-hours.asp

So I've chosen 22nd May 2012 (Tuesday) to act and according to the calculator

based on Sydney, Australia I get 2 shots on that day.

06:54 - 07:42

19:10 - 20:19

The preferable time is in the morning, the star signs have six God forms assigned

to them. Three by day and three by night, Sealiah is a daytime form and is the

3rd of the three.

Dividing the zodiac hour (06:54 - 07:42 = 48 minutes /3 = 16 minutes)

So you have the time from 07:26 - 07:42 to make your pitch directly at Sealiah,

you can begin your ritual earlier in the Mars/Scorpio hour but your main pitch

should be done in the 16 minutes from 07:26 - 07:42

But it ain’t over in calculating planetary times yet....we still have the talisman to

do....among other things. The talisman has to be prepared before the ritual at

which it will be consecrated. The talisman will be made during certain

planetary/zodiac hours.

Lets look at the one I've chosen....

Pretty straight forward...on one side, but what about the other?

This is where we personalise it to the target.

Seeing as the talisman is a 5x5 kamea (magic square) it comes under Mars, so

we have the written talisman (or intent) on one side and on the other we will have

the numerical values on the other. From this and applying a type of

gematria/cryptography we create sigils from the name of the target. This is a type

of 'signature' of the occult realm; it could not identify anyone else as a rule and

definitely wouldn’t when it comes to ritual.

Here is the kamea

The name is Clinton Richard Dawkins

Applying AIQ BEKAR results in this.... (depending on your Hebrew transliteration

of non-Hebrew names, you'll have to look up AIQ BEKAR for yourself to get an

understanding. It is also called the Kabbalah of the 9 chambers)

You get this…

Or you could use Western numerology....

A, J, S have a value of 1

B, K, T have a value of 2

C, L, U have a value of 3

D, M, V have a value of 4

E, N, W have a value of 5

F, O, X have a value of 6

G, P, Y. have a value of 7

H, Q, Z. have a value of 8

I and R have a value of 9

And you get this...

Although the Aiq Bekar is the preferred system because you used it in the

numerology application to his name you should only really apply what you know

to be absolute and know how it is to be applied. If you can’t explain it to anyone

else then how will you explain its use when you are asking God for favour? As

long as the procedures you use are in similar vein and do not contradict each

other then you should be fine, remember keep it simple within reason. So now

you have an idea of what you want written, so when to write it?

You could do it a week before your ritual with the same planetary/zodiac hours.

But I want to bring in a calculating effort into it, I want to bring in a Saturn aspect

so as to be grinding.

Well Dawkins is an Aries and that sign is in detriment when it interacts with

Saturn, so on the 13/5 from 11:51 - 1:00 would be good. It doesn’t have to be any

specific date, just the aspects of the hours.

So when you work out which hours to do the talisman, then you have to decide

how you will apply it. You have to make an effort, show that you are sincere. It is

best to get the talisman (or multiples of the talisman) as close as possible in

physical proximity to the target or if possible touch him with it on bare skin and

preferably without him knowing it.

We have an idea on when to construct a talisman, but in order to put it into

practice we need a means of delivering it.

You could touch the target directly if possible, but it is unlikely that you will get

such a chance. So you have to deliver or at least attempt to deliver your talisman

'payload' by other means, I came up with these ideas.....

* Postal Mail - If you knew a postal address at which the target would pick up

mail you could send the talisman within a letter. The preferable method would be

to make the talisman on a blank sheet of paper using an 'invisible ink' made from

herbs and other plant aspects assigned to one of the preferred planets. The

target would indeed touch it and most likely have no idea of what it is if they

could make it out. Get bonus points if you make the 'ink' using infected

water/saliva as the base (such as flu)

* Proximity - If you didn’t know the targets residential or workplace address but

knew the vicinity of them you could place talismans (preferably 'invisible') in that

area. Places to do this would be in commercial areas (shopping malls) as well as

other areas used by the public in general, much like a poster/leaflet run.

* Cyber - The internet, I believe, can be used in this. A talisman could be made

on a word processing program such as Word, then it could be copy/paste into

one of those steganography programs and hidden in a pic such as jpeg, bmp, tif

or similar file. You could then email it or post it on a forum that you know the

target uses.

You get the idea....... Just out of interest looking at Dawkins as the target brings

up the following...

The paths involved in doing the spell on Dawkins uses five sephira in addition to

4 other paths. All up there are 9 paths of wisdom involved

1. Kether - Union with God

12. Healing

3. Binah - Vision of sorrow

18. Enchantment

5. Geburah - Vision of Power

23. Talismans

8. Hod - Vision of Splendor

31. Evocation and pyromancy

10. Malkuth - Vision of Holy Guardian Angel

This sort of stuff will most probably only be of interest to those who have an idea

about practical kabbalah. But my intention in writing up this ritual is not to kill

Dawkins but to break his will. All indications so far says this ritual would be a

winner for anyone who wanted to do it, but it would be best to have an extremely

good idea about how it works or know someone such as an old fashioned priest

in order to carry it out. So we have the High Magic aspect more or less done;

now it is time for the Low Magic aspect.

You’ve seen what the High magic aspect involves; now it is time for the Low

magic one. Both High and Low magic are of the same value and complement

each other, so what is Low magic? You ever heard of voodoo dolls?

So yes it is time for an arts and crafts class, although you might find this to be

childish it is in fact necessary but not compulsory. Remember we are seeking to

make as many symbolic links as possible because we are trying to map the nonphysical

with the physical or 'making the invisible - visible'

So if we are seeking to make a doll we could make one out of anything (they

should be made, not bought. Think of it as a piece of art, you put your emotions

into it and it becomes physical.)

Myself, I prefer to make one out of a cardboard tube such as one you would get

from a paper towel roll. You could download, scale and print a pic from the net for

the face of the target. Then you can hand paint the body part or use other

printouts.

Looking at the target Dawkins you could even go so far as even to baptise the

doll in his name. After all, he has renounced God and in a defacto way has

renounced his baptism.

Next you make a coffin for the doll, whether you use an old shoebox or make one

is fine out of wood or cardboard it will be fine (don’t use plastic/rubber). Next we

paint it red on the inside and out, followed by painting five black or a different

shade of red or preferably citrine crosses on the outside. One each on the

head/foot sides, one each on the lid/bottom sides, now we place the doll inside

face down with the coffin facing east. The fifth cross is painted on the left side of

the coffin leaving the right side blank.

We then paint five matching crosses in the inside. Five crosses would represent

Geburah, another five would bring the total to ten which would represent Malkuth

(hence the citrine). Next you get a long piece of black string or wool; you loosely

tie knots in the string and tighten it with spite when you finish saying a curse.

The doll and coffin will be present at the ritual along with the talisman/s, during

the ritual you will tie the string around the doll. After the ritual you will bury the

coffin facing east preferably at a crossroads in a park/nature trail. Even better

would be if you did this in an area where the target walked, if he walked upon his

own 'grave' physically he would also be doing so symbolically. Think of it this

way, a sailing ship needs sails in order to catch the wind (High magic) to make it

move. But you also need an anchor (Low magic) to make it stay in a certain

place. You are just the captain, success or ruination depends on your planning

and decisions for action.

Let's look at our checklist so far...

God form/Angel - Sealiah

Sephira - Kether

Timing - 22/05/2012 - Tuesday, aspect Mars

06:54 - 07:42 (aspect Mars/Scorpio or Pluto) with specific pitch at 07:26 till 07:42

High magic - Talisman/s

Low magic - Doll/coffin

World - Briah

Some further notes...

God form/Angel - Sealiah

You can read more about him on

http://guideangel.com/45.html

Myself I think the site is a bit hippy with some of the info but is basically correct.

You may wonder what the 221-225 degrees is all about, well that would be the

direction you will face when you perform the ritual in...

Kether - This sephira is represented by the number 1 and the colour white.

NB - When you perform a ritual using the Shem Ha-Mephorash you should only

utilise the particular God form from the Shem and not mix in aspects normally

associated with a particular sephira. In Kether the God name is Eheieh Asher

Eheieh and the Angel is Metatron, so we will not be calling on them because we

are calling on Sealiah from the Shem.

Now using due east as 0 degrees we go clockwise until 221-225 which would be

roughly West South West, this is the direction you will face while performing the

ritual. Use a compass to get as accurate a reading as possible. You will have an

altar of some sort, depends on what you can get I suppose but anything such as

a bedside table or any piece of furniture should be fine as long as you make an

effort to clean it up etc. (remember you get rewarded on effort rather than

appearance).

A white tablecloth or similar to cover it should be fine, you should also have some

white or mostly clothing cleaned and set aside for the ritual. You will also want a

white candle or two and some incense, for Kether it is ambergris but I find that

incense not associated with other sephira should suffice. Myself, I have never

been able to find ambergris so I used a combination of Opium and Frankincense

Timing - Seems pretty much OK, when using the net for these types of sites bear

in mind that those doing the calculating may have based their programs for a

specific or their specific geographical location, you should compare with various

sites and see which time they lean towards as you might have to make an

allowance for as much as five minutes.

High magic - Talisman is a Mars kamea so if it isn’t to be done in an 'invisible' ink

make from herbs/plants associated with Mars then it should be done in the colour

red. A red and black (Saturn) combo should be OK as long as the dominant

colour is red.

Low magic - Same applies in relation to colour, but I trust that you made both the

talisman/s and doll/coffin at the appropriate planetary hours.

World - Briah. The colour representing Kether in Briah is white

Now listen up!

If you think I am going to provide you with a colour by numbers type magic set in

which you put in no effort but expect instant answers you will be mistaken.

If you want a shrink wrapped setup which requires no thinking - become a

marxist. Have you come to the conclusion that it isn’t as easy as it seems?

That it seems like something a priest would do went setting up a Mass?

You may find yourself having to extend your timeframe in which to do something

like this, remember who you will be performing for. You will either get an ultimate

high or an ultimate low...such as the local bum living in the park screaming at

pigeons. Serious stakes in a serious game.

Now it’s time to write the ritual. First of all we have to decide what the actual aim

of the ritual is. In this exercise I don’t aim to kill Dawkins, rather I would have him

publicly repent of his apostasy. This ultimately will be good for him and good for

others who would give up on such a despicable lifestyle and it will be good for

those who avoid contemplating such a decision to serve their ego above all.

Another factor is that I would pick Dawkins to jump ship, let’s face it he knows he

will be hitting the dirt soon enough. He also isn’t as fashionable as he once was,

long gone are the days of university bimbos lining up to blow him and the same

could be said about the bucket loads of cash he got for writing shitty books.

So first we have to address the entity/persona we intend to ask, that being

Sealiah. In addressing Sealiah we are to address by all the names we know him

by, this is to ensure that we know who we are addressing. We cannot proceed if

we have any doubt about who we are petitioning, if so then doubt will be

throughout the ritual...and it will fail.

So we say...

"I call upon you Sealiah, SaALaYA, Samech Alef Lamed, SaALa, Sehaliah, Deus

Motor omnium - The God who stirs all men. I petition you to witness and enact on

my ritual. I call upon you in good faith, for I am a servant of the Most High. My

cause is just, please accept my cause and my rite"

Sealiah also has a psalm associated with him, all the Shem do. For Sealiah it is

Psalm 94

"I offer Psalm to you Sealiah."

Now you say the Psalm.

Next you identify who you wish to curse...

"I call upon you Sealiah to act upon an avowed enemy of God and the faithful his

name is Clinton Richard Dawkins also known as Richard Dawkins. He was born

on the 26th of March 1941 in Nairobi, Kenya Colony. His father being Clinton

John Dawkins and his mother being Jean Mary Vyvyan née Ladner. He has been

the husband to Marian Stamp Dawkins and Eve Barham and is the husband of

Lalla Ward. He is the father of Juliet Emma Dawkins. This is the man that I

accuse of being an avowed enemy of God and the faithful. This is the man I ask

you to enact upon."

Next we propose how he is to be dealt with...

"Sealiah, I want to see him repent of his atheism, to renounce it completely and

disown those who wish to continue with such a despicable filthy lifestyle. O

Sealiah I ask that you break his arrogance and break his will and that he publicly

renounces his atheism and acknowledges the God of Abraham as the only GOD

of all without exception. O Sealiah, bear down on him exceedingly until he does

these things. This I ask. Amen"

Next would be another Psalm, it’s really up to you to decide. Myself I would go for

Psalm 109.

Now we have basically made our petition and now will close the ceremony.

"O Sealiah, may your name be blessed and praised by all. I ask for your help

because you can do what I have asked. Will you help? Will you do this for me? If

I have offended you in my request please understand that I do not mean to. Let

there be no ill will between us if this is the case, if there is offence then I do

apologise. Your virtues are just and I trust in your ability, governance, and

goodwill. I am faithful to the Most High, the Creator of All. I am true to the God of

Abraham. Amen"

After which we say…

"Hail and farewell Sealiah

Hail and farewell The God who stirs all men

Hail and farewell Archangels and Angels

Hail and farewell to all those who have witnessed this ritual

Blessing be upon all of you

Hail and farewell"

Seeing as the Mars/Scorpio or Plutonic hour is 06:54 - 07:42 and the specific

time for Sealiah is 07:26 - 07:42 we would be hard pressed to do the ritual within

the specific time for Sealiah. As Sun is the next hour after Mars I would be willing

to let the ritual spill over into the Sun hour. As for the time from 06:54 - 07:26 I

would consider reciting Psalm 119 as that takes about 20 mins. Ultimately you

have to tailor the ritual to what makes you feel confident and comfortable. Don’t

be afraid to experiment, after all you will be putting yourself before God. It is

between you and him...not you and me or anyone else for that matter.

Writing out the ritual isn’t the end of it, you still have to enact on it.

Learn the Qabbalistic cross and the sign of the Zelator.

Time to act.....

First you have to have the area you intend to use prepared; it has to be clean

and as freed up as possible. You will have an altar facing at 221-225 degrees

from due East (measure clockwise from East). On the altar you will have either

one large fat candle (like from a mass) or two medium sized candles (again like a

mass, get the idea?). You will need to have incense prepared, sticks will be fine.

You can use a single stick of a hot/peppery incense or five of various scents, i.e.

Opium, Frankincense, Eucalyptus, Pepper/Fire, Lemon etc. You should pick

those scents that you know and feel are appropriate for this type of ritual and feel

comfortable with. If possible burn some frankincense in the ritual area

beforehand and sprinkle some salt around the perimeter of the area you will be

using.

Ok...the time is about 06:30 and you are waiting for the proper time to begin,

what should you do? Have a conversation with God; tell him how much you trust

in him and his actions and judgment. Also ask him to deal justly with the person

you intend to take action against.

Maybe this will explain what I mean...

"O Allah, have mercy on the soul of the one whose feet I intend to cover with dust

this day"

06:54, time to start....

Walk into the area; you will be at the back of the area and facing east. Walk into

the centre of the room, have the palms of your hands together at chest level as

though you are going to dive in a pool or opening curtains.

Stretch your arms forward and bring your right foot forward as though you are

entering through heavy curtains, as you do open your arms open and bring your

left foot forward to meet your right. Take a further step forward using both feet;

you should be facing East still. Now do the Qabbalistic cross...

Say – Do

“Thine is” - Touch your forehead using your right hand

“The kingdom” - Touch your lower abdomen

“The power” - Touch your right shoulder

“The glory” - Touch your left shoulder

“Forever and ever” - Stretch out your arms, so you are a Y shape

“Amen” - Bring your arms back and cross them over your shoulders, right over

left.

“For thou are powerful and eternal O Lord” - Have your forearms and palms

raised while your upper arms are kept vertical as though your are making an

offering. Now fall upon your knees and put the palms of your hands on the floor

and place your forehead on the floor as well. Yes this is the way muslims pray

and so did Jesus for that matter in the desert. You now sit up and pray to the

God of Abraham AKA Jehovah in a manner that you should have planned out.

You may offer psalm or some other prayer, ask for his blessing in this venture.

You will want to have an idea of how much time you will want to pray to the East

so you will be ready for Sealiah at 221-225 degrees. You won’t have the option of

having an alarm clock or stopwatch to work by, I never use one as I don’t think its

appropriate.

When you’ve decided its time to move, stand up and moving clockwise face the

altar. Move towards it but leave enough room to do the sign of the Zelator (look it

up yourself).

You can do the sign of the Zelator and then proceed to light the candle(s) (or if it

is dark you can light the candles first - don’t have lights on). When you light the

candles you start with the right one and say “Unto light is added light”, then you

use the now lit candle to light the left one. Next you light the incense, use the

right candle to do so if you are in doubt on how to light them.

You are now ready to perform the rite, don’t forget to have your talismans and

other low magic aspects you intend to use on the altar. Now you go through the

ritual you have written out and planned, to finish you will extinguish the candles -

first the left and then the right (a spoon can be used to do this, you can keep it

under the altar/table. You cannot leave the altar at anytime during the ritual). As

for the incense they can be left to burn out. You give a final salute (Hitler style

with your right hand/arm) as you should have done with your “Hail and farewell”

at the end of the ritual...I forgot to mention it before.

Now you take a back step with your right foot followed by the left while at the

same time 'closing the curtains' in essence reversing how you 'entered the

curtains'. Turning clockwise to you face east, go forth to where you prayed before

and give a final prayer (Lords Prayer should be fine if you don’t have anything

special in mind) and say whatever gratitude you feel. When you are finished

stand up, bow and exit the space moving clockwise to do so.

That’s it, certainly it would be the way I would do it if I was to do it. But this was

just a demonstration in an exercise to show people what magic actually involves

and how to go about doing it. I originally posted these writings as a thread on

downloadpolitics.com and this is the thread if you want to read it.

http://downloadpolitics.com/showthread.php?28620-Magic-Let-s-play!

And this is what happened with others…

Godlikeproductions - never made it onto the board

Alien-Earth - deleted

LunaticOutpost - deleted

Religiousforums - deleted (and they have directories/sections that deal

specifically with magic) and I was banned from there for supposedly trolling.

Brawl-Hall – put into its ‘dumpster’ board and renamed ‘shit thread’.

The deleted threads did not last 24hrs on each site, they were all gone within

12hrs

What the fuck are they scared of?

That Dawkins might be offended????

What the fuck is that burnout going to do? I think he would be more worried

about real fanatics wanting to kill him than me using him in a written demo.

I suppose it’s a case of celebrity is more important than truth.

Chapter 14

Here I am going to give my opinions, sure I’ve done that throughout the book but

here I don’t really have my story to tell. Maybe my opinions are based on my life

experience but isn’t that true for all of us? Also there are the experiences of

others which can be taken into account, when we do we then take our judgment

of true or false as well as right and wrong into the way we view the world. Again,

time and circumstance play a part and this forms our opinions. We all have

opinions which we hold true until time and circumstance decides our judgment for

us. We can hold fast what we know or at least believe to be true, but we can also

change our thinking or have it changed for us. The way that our opinions are

changed is either by the will of another thinking entity whether it be human or

otherwise. Or it is time and circumstance. So let me put forward my opinions and

things for you to ponder and yes I may be repeating myself from earlier. Although

I probably did start this book in order to tell you about Satanism and to dispel the

myths, hype and misinformation about it, maybe I was hoping to dissuade others

from stumbling into it like I did. If you are thinking this book should be altered to

be strictly an anti-Satan tract, then I think you could find plenty of those on the

web. Do I think that Satan is the cause of all misery in this world? I will not say an

absolute yes, remember Satan only offers the choice of evil but humans enact

upon it by committing acts of wickedness. Remember I told you that Satan is a

stakeholder in this world of Assiah and that Satan (Ha-Shatan or The Satan) is a

title. As far as I know Lucifer holds this title and everyone is entitled to a shot at

the title.

Same applies to God for it too is a title, if you want to declare yourself to be

God…well that you can do. But to declare yourself God and being God are two

different things, but look at our world we have plenty of arseholes who believe

that they are God or at least behave as if they are God or gods. These people

are narcissist to say the least, and most certainly are sociopaths as well as

‘atheist’ for the time being. Even Lucifer has all manner of these same

egomaniacs going after his title; you have the Church of Satan dropkicks who

think they are all Satan in their ‘subconsciousness’. You have the over hyped

Order of the Nine Angles pretty much falling for this crap as well. If you want to

be a Satanist you have to be theistic, to call yourself a Satanist under any other

description makes you just an atheist with a bad boy image. It also makes you

just another member of the herd and it shows you to be incredibly stupid.

Why do people fall into such behaviour? The type that makes you fall into

general groups that define you as pro-God or pro-Satan or atheist or following a

religion that ends up serving a purely political end on this world of Assiah. Or has

you believing that pixies, elves and fairies can do magic for you if you only just

believe that or just believe until the next ‘spiritual fashion’ comes along. What

makes people section themselves or allow others to do that for them? I believe

that it is a lack of confidence, a lack of confidence in God or themselves. Humans

on this earth have no confidence because they have no foundation, how did we

get here? Why are we here?

How about I put this forward, in the Old Testament we have the story of the

rebellious angels who along with Lucifer were expelled to the earth. We also

have the story of the Igigi and Annunaki from Sumeria. Is it at all possible that we

are those fallen angels and that we were given human form in order to

rehabilitate ourselves? I don’t know if any of us will ever discover the answer to

this while we are mortal human beings, our memory to do with this earth is

physical and if we believe that we are purely physical then we will believe that we

cannot have any memory of our pre-physical being. Could we be continuously

reincarnated until we learn the lessons and behaviour required to return to the

spiritual realms? I once asked a demon where did we as humans originate from,

as in being spiritual entities. I never got an answer, it seemed like the lack of

answer wasn’t out of arrogance or contempt but more like fear.

So if we are rebels in human flesh and have chosen amnesia in regards to

anything spiritual in this world of Assiah, would that explain our ‘disbelief’ in

regards to anything else but this world? People make a choice in regards to

spirituality, whether it be through a lack of confidence or simply giving in to the

will of others individually or else groupthink. They have chosen to become stupid

and more correctly have become willingly stupid. Maybe you remember as a

small child your imaginary friends or you see today the tales small children tell

about imaginary friends. And what happened? You were told these ‘friends’ did

not exist and you would have seen the actions of adults telling their children

these friends don’t exist.

Children interact and seemingly learn from these ‘imaginary friends’, if they are

figments of the imagination then where did they get their personas from? It’s fair

to say that the personalities of these friends are not clones of the child. If you say

that this is a trivial and sad thing to mention then consider this, you have self

appointed ‘baals’ telling you that God doesn’t exist. And even though people may

feel a connection to God, they willingly dismiss that so they will be ‘on the

bandwagon’ with the current trends of groupthink. People no longer live real lives

in their mind and body; they’ve given that up for their worship of the baal of the

week. No temple is necessary as long as the baal gets air time on the TV.

It is easier for the baal to indoctrinate the willingly stupid by TV as no thinking is

required. The music industry is the same, how many talented musicians go

ignored in favour of the talentless hacks who make it big because of air time on

the TV? I thought music was meant to be listened to instead of seen. Everyday it

seems that another ‘man-god’ tries his or her luck to be a self appointed saviour

of some sort, it is not leadership as leaders seek to bring everyone together to

strive for the greater good of everyone as a whole. The baals only strive to

promote themselves because they see themselves and their comfort zone as

being the greater good.

I saw a segment on a current affairs TV show about sociopaths, some guy who

studied such people said 1 in 25 or 4% of the Australian population are

sociopaths. That probably is a fair assessment; if it applies to Australia then

presumably it applies to every other country. He said that we only hear about the

bad ones who commit murders etc. but most of them have flooded the corporate

world where they are in the position to exercise power over others. When you

hear the stories of psycho bosses and supervisors that also seems to be a fair

assessment.

So I ask this question; What percentage of a countrys’ population is atheist at

any given time? Is it constant or is it increasing? Same question applies to

sociopaths, when you consider the garbage that passes as entertainment these

days on television with the central themes being around crime you have to

wonder. It seems that the baals of the television industry have their own

bandwagon or groupthink, decades ago it was the thief or counterfeiter that was

the ‘bad guy‘ in any television show regarding crime. Now it is the serial killer or

pedophile or some other sexual deviant.

It’s only TV, big deal you say? Look at societys’ attitudes, as these sorts of

television programs become mainstream we see people such as serial killers as

being ‘something that happens’ and being a pedophile is no different than being

the village idiot in that every suburb has one. As for violent sexual deviants if you

are the victim others will say “Oh well, shit happens” and if you are not you will

most likely be the one saying it. Now it seems acceptable for these things to

happen, if not acceptable then expected. Why? Because it was on TV. People

somehow forget (or choose to forget) that those characters are portrayed by paid

actors who play a part according to a script. They play a part, get paid and then

go home and think nothing further of it. Whereas the viewers (or addicts) live

their lives based on whatever show they have been watching. They take it as

being portrayal of the way life is supposed to be. Why? Again because it was on

TV. An actor may play the part of an idiot, but he only does that for a short period

of time and he gets paid for doing so. The likes of TV soap opera addicts do this

24 hours a day and they do it for free. And somewhere some baal revels in the

power he has in turning people into brain dead drones who have more or less

lost touch with reality. An education for death, in this world and the next.

So are atheists and sociopaths one and the same? That’s a really hard question

to answer or even contemplate. I only use the term ‘atheist’ to describe the likes

of anti-theists, misotheists, maltheists and dystheists in one go. As I said before

how can you hold a personal hatred for something you say doesn’t exist? It does

seem to be that people will say one thing and believe another at the same time

and now this has become an acceptable behaviour.

Even though naturally born sociopaths may be the exception rather than the rule,

their behaviour is becoming less and less the exception among all manner of

people – almost like a virus really. Let us say that a sociopath is a purely physical

being without a soul or spirit and has no concept of conscience. Instead it only

imitates the actions of others and only seeks to preserve itself as a physical

being because it has no concept of any other form of existence. Atheists however

do proclaim that all humans are purely physical beings without any spirit or soul.

Not only do they proclaim it, they also propagate it. Essentially they are seeking

not only to make being a sociopath a lifestyle choice; they are also seeking to

enforce it.

Atheists also claim that ‘science is the answer for everything’ and that any form

of belief or faith in the metaphysical world is not only wasteful but also a mental

illness. If physical science is the answer to everything then it should be possible

to make a robot that can perform all manner of physical human activities. The

‘thinking’ of such a robot could be done by a mathematical program, but as for its

conscience it could only be programmed to imitate others. It could have no

original conscience of its own and even if it were programmed to display such a

thing it would only have the options that the programmer has made available to it.

Is it at all possible for someone with a soul to willingly discard it? It is certainly

able to behave in such a manner to more or less be accepted as a sociopath of

some sort. I remember many years ago when I was a Satanist coming across the

works of Dr Joseph Chiappalone MD. He is a Gnostic who believes that Jehovah

is some sort of evil demi-urge and that there is a ‘true god’ somewhere. While I

strongly disagree with his view of Jehovah I do think he is on the right track with

his view of the type of human beings there are on this planet. He describes

people as being “True beings” that are made from “Permanent Atoms” or they

are beings made from “Non-Permanent Atoms” which are then divided into two

categories of “Robots” or “Demons”. The robots have a false consciousness and

the demons have a pure evil one. See his writing for yourself…

http://rense.com/general95/gnos.htm

He also has a go at the new age scam artists claiming to be ‘gnostic’. As I said I

believe he is wrong about Jehovah but he is on the right track concerning the

type of people on this planet. If science is the answer to everything as atheists

claim, then surely they could have discredited him by now. They can’t even prove

evolution, climate change or whatever yuppie groupthink cause of the day is.

When you consider the amount of people choosing or being conned into

discarding their conscience everyday maybe the 144000 mentioned in

Revelations doesn’t seem that extreme after all.

If you want power over yourself it has to come from within and not by taking it

away from others. People try to excuse any situation by exclaiming “well it’s not

as bad as…” The situation of good or bad is just a matter of comparison as far as

most people are concerned now; if you are in bad circumstances then you should

seek to change them of your own accord. Sabotaging the lives of others in order

to make a favourable comparison to your circumstance isn’t a demonstration of

positive power but rather negative power. But even then it is not even power

because you would be more concerned with the perceptions of others instead of

improving yourself. The audience would have the power because they are

directing you and it’s their perceived standards that you are trying to live up to. In

this you’ve gained nothing and discarded power from within yourself in order to

try and gain the groupthink approval of others.

When we are in a bad circumstance we should seek to buy time in order to

change that circumstance and magic is a way to do this. Only you can decide

what is appropriate for you. Maybe you want to go along a spiritual path, if so

don’t go the way of wicca type sects and gurus just because it’s readily available.

Especially the type that demand extortionate sums of money or demand that you

take your clothes off for them, to do so compromises your principles and your

dignity and after you’ve done that what is there to gain? Rather you would spend

your time in that sort of set up trying to regain what you already had.

If it seems wrong then question it, derail the groupthink gravy train. You may

wonder why the whackjobs of the world seemingly rise to the top of society; it can

be explained by this saying “Bastards help bastards!” and that they do. Our

societies now have become plutocracies which function as kleptocracies and the

currency which everyone gets paid in is misery.

We are told that goodness is limited but misery is in abundance. This is simply

not true; there is plenty of goodness about if we learn how to recognise it. The

reason we cannot recognise it is because unless it has a money value then it is

worthless. That is the herd mentality and as I’ve said as a Satanist and still say

as one who is faithful to Jehovah.

“I don’t care about the colours of the herd…Fuck the herd!”

Anyway I could go on and on, but then again where would I finally end this book.

I think I’ve given you enough to read, although it probably been a bit disjointed.

As I said – Don’t believe me, if you have doubts about anything I’ve written then

check them out for yourself. Don’t just take my word for it; you have a brain so

use it. Next bit is just pics, if you have the entire pdf rather than reading this book

online or on a floppy.

Oh…did you want my email address?

leon_fourteen@y7mail.com

At age 12 - the epitome of evil?

Entrance to underground canal (Belmore South)

A section of 'Blood Alley' from Cup and Saucer Creek, it went from Bexley Road

(Campsie South) to Flora Street (Lakemba). This is where sacrifices were

performed

At age 21 and at my satanic prime. Did you expect Marilyn Manson?

At age 22

Underneath the railway bridge over the Cooks River between Canterbury and

Campsie. Animal skulls and bones were stashed in the trench (deeper and

bigger at the time) between the river bank and brickwork of the arch.

Addendum

In January 2015 I became a Christian, no big deal here as many people become

Christians for varying reasons. And I suppose in my case I should explain to you

why this happened. It happened like this, I was praying to Jehovah and just

engaged in conversation about Christianity (not that this happens all the time,

rarely actually...). I don't know how but the issue of Christianity came up, though I

think the reason being that an increasing number of people who delved into the

occult had 'come out' about what they were involved in.

Myself? Well I wrote this book to inform others that the occult world does exist

despite what 'hip trend' atheists might say and the fanaticism with how they say

it. I can't force people to accept what I write and don't really care to, I can only tell

others of what I've experienced and hope they can relate to it and learn from it.

As the IQ levels of people drop and stupidity is celebrated, I was hoping that I

was not the only person to ask "Why is this happening?" And indeed I am sure

that I am not, but your words no matter how correct and genuine they are seem

to be of no value unless you are a celebrity of some sort or else obscenely rich.

The world has devolved into 'herdthink' with an inner herd (celebrities, mega-rich,

etc.) and the outer herd (you) which is governed by the 'humanist spirit' of

political correctness.

I said to Jehovah, "Why do you want me to help them for? Their lives mean

nothing." To which he answered "You answered your question", I said I would

help those who were willing to take in what I had to say and would otherwise

leave it at that. I didn't want to become a Christian due to the following factors,

the first being the 'sunshine, lollypops and rainbows' fairytale type beliefs that

they seem to display in public (whether they had these beliefs in private or not? I

don't know.). The second being the 'prosperity theology' creed that churches

seem to be increasingly peddle, if you don't have the money for 'tithing' then don't

come to church (I suppose if you do have the money then if can be asked 'why

aren't you at the nightclub/casino/horse races/etc. instead of at church?').

And I suppose the most obvious being that a lot of so called Christians don't

know or actually care to know what it is what they proclaim to believe. If you don't

know what you 'believe' how can you improve on that belief and how can you

prevent corruption and malevolence from infiltrating your faith? And indeed taking

over it? The increase in popularity of prosperity theology churches which function

as disco clubs are examples of this corruption, even worse the acceptance of

these social club businesses (which is what they are) by self proclaimed

'christians' (maybe xtians would be more appropriate to call these people as

Christ never gets a mention with them) as being the 'mainstream'. So with my

'newfound Christian faith' I went around and looked at different churches - I didn't

realise how bad the situation was.

So I asked Jehovah what I could do about this, I just didn't know. I said all I could

do to prevail with my trying to educate people about the occult but quite frankly I

did not want to do this. He said "I'll give you this.' in an instant I had a picture

within my head of how Jesus Christ is indeed 'God'. Now you may think that

when a message is conveyed to you by God that it is done with a rolling thunder

voice just like something you see on TV, but that is just something you see and

hear on TV and brought up by paid man made imagination and nothing more.

God will speak to you but will convey a message to you by aesthetics, after all is

not a picture worth a thousand words?

The picture I got was this: The application of the 4 worlds is valid, in the world of

Atziluth (the world of Emanation) is the realm of what we know as the Holy Spirit

(not Holy Ghost because that would imply that it is of a dead mortal being). In the

world of Briah we have the realm of Jehovah otherwise known as the Holy Father

(the pope has no right to refer to himself by such title). In Yetzirah we have the

Christ aspect and in Assiah we have the child of the Virgin Mary who we

commonly know as Jesus Christ.

It goes like this; in the beginning we have the Holy Spirit who gave creation to

Jehovah the Holy Father. Who in turn gave formation to Christ who was molded

to be within the human form created within the child whom the Virgin Mary gave

birth to. The child we know as Jesus Christ was and is a God aspect with a

human nature, the human nature was necessary so we could relate to him on a

personal basis. The God essence was never broken and is continuous in all 4

worlds, the autonomy that is granted within the 4 worlds is what makes us

perceive this singular essence as separate beings. Even though the God of

Abraham has different aspects as we can conceive those aspects in the 4

worlds, the fact is that he is a continuous essence without any separation and his

unity is one.

I asked God what I should refer to him as, he said "Christ Jesus of Bethlehem

and Nazareth". The reason being that the Christ aspect (Yetzirah) came first, the

human aspect of Jesus (Assiah) came after. The Bethlehem part came about

because it is where both aspects came into this world as one at the exact same

time, and Nazareth is where he resided and enacted his destiny. By saying and

indeed praying to 'Christ Jesus of Bethlehem and Nazareth' you could not be

describing or addressing anyone else in all known history and time. I suppose

you could say 'Christ Jesus of Bethlehem and Nazareth of Tebhel and Chesed of

Malkuth in Assiah' if you really want to be picky.

If you just want to pray to 'Jesus' then you could be describing anybody. Plenty of

guys across the world named Jesus; there is also the imitation 'Lord Jesus' of the

Sananda 'higher masters' scammery that you would associate with fluffy new age

cults. There is also a 'Cosmic Christ' within that mix but the only people who are

getting scammed are the willingly stupid who follow that crap and the average

halfwit who goes along with it just to be 'tolerant'. Don't make that mistake, now

you know why the education system is more about indoctrination and dumbing

down so everyone is on an equal level... well everyone apart from those who are

running this spiritual euthanasia cult. And if those who are running these

indoctrination schemes do not realise that they are serving the likes of Moloch

then they are just as stupid as those who they indoctrinate, if not actually more

stupid.

So yeah there it is, what you have heard about Jesus Christ being the God

aspect in Assiah is true and indeed the psalms of the Bible do work in Kabbalah

rituals (as I have used them myself). So I will tell you the only God is the God of

Abraham, address 'Jesus' by his proper and complete name and title that being

Christ Jesus of Bethlehem and Nazareth. Make an effort to learn the Kabbalah,

especially the practical Kabbalah because when you start making an effort with

these things you will no longer be like the willing victims that make up the herd.

CreedOfAssiah

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