UNTraditional Pitch Package

UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 1

PAGE ONE [4 panels] - We’re just introducing the guys and their apartment here.

Layout is split vertically with Drew’s panels on the left and Zaac’s panels on the right.

Second two panels should be much larger to allow us to see the guys completely.

1.1 - INT. Drew’s Bedroom–Evening

This is a view of the left side of Drew’s room, and it should line up with the next panel as

if the room were split in half, and the next panel shows the right side of the room,

though it is going to show Zaac’s room. Imagine a punk teenager grew up, and only

barely left that black vibe behind. Feel free to fill the space a little. He has a record

player (Rega Planar One) and some vinyl in the corner. Have some fun with it though.

But there does have to be half of a Poster for the Album Duality by the band Set It Off

[R1] on the right side of the panel which will line up with a poster in the next panel.

DREW

HEY Z. WHAT TIME IS IT?

1.2 - INT. Zaac’s Bedroom–Evening

This is a view of the right half of Zaac’s room, which should line up with the view of

Drew’s room on the left. In the middle, there is a half of the poster for the movie Scott

Pilgrim vs. The World [R2], which lines up with the poster in Drew’s room. Zaac is a

little more of a dork, but isn’t a nerd or a full on dork. He should have a collection of

Bionicles [R3] on a shelf somewhere—very important. Other than that go crazy.

ZAAC

DREW

I SWEAR TO FUCK IF YOU MAKE US LATE AGAIN…

IT’S FINE. I’M ALMOST READY.

ZAAC IT’S 6:30.


PAGE ONE CONT.

1.3 - INT. Drew’s Bedroom–Evening

Side-on view of Drew as he looks into the mirror, but the mirror is the right gutter of the

panel, as if he is looking at Zaac through the gutter. Drew is medium build, with messy

middle length hair. He def needs a haircut, and possibly a shower. He is wearing black

jeans, and he’s pulling on a black sweatshirt. Some of his tattoos are peaking out as he

gets dressed, and they seem to be glowing. He has Biomechanical Tattoos on his arms

[R4].

DREW (Quietly)

CAP (As if listing his

stats)

FUCK…

Name: Drew Morrigan

Age: 25

Nationality: American (Cleveland OH, USA)

Bench: 160 lbs

Milk: 2%

1.4 - INT. Zaac’s Bedroom–Evening

Side-on view of Zaac, exactly the same as the last panel but the opposite way, so they are

making eye contact. He's a muscular build, and just a few inches taller than Drew. He

has short hair that's spiked up in the front. No facial hair. Zaac has Tā Moko [R5] on his

face which we can see from the side. We will need to consult with Daniel on style and

pattern. He’s wearing Jeans and an orange T-shirt and a necklace of a bronze Wolf Claw

[R6]. He’s Running his fingers through his hair in a frustrated way.

ZAAC

UH HUH. AND THAT HOT BASSIST YOU LIKE IS IN THE

OPENING BAND AND WE’LL MISS THEM IF YOU DON’T

HURRY.

CAP (As if listing his

stats)

Name: Isaac (Zaac) Vernon

Age: 25

Nationality: Kiwi (Hamilton, Waikato, NZ)

Bionicles Lore: A+

Beans: Refried


PAGE TWO [5 panels]

2.1 - EXT. Hawthorne Theater–Night

Establishing Shot of the Hawthorne Theater in Portland [R7]. You can fill the Outdoor

concert board [R8] with whatever punk bands you like, but the last one should be ALL

TIME LOW. There’s a bouncer standing by the door, and there are a couple of punk

looking concert goers outside smoking. Maybe someone puking in the corner. It’s a punk

show at a very punk venue. The boys are already inside but we should see Drew’s scream

as an Onomatopoeia floating through the open door.

ZAAC

(From the door)

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

CAP

HAWTHORNE THEATER

PORTLAND OR

2.2 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night

Medium shot of Drew and Zaac standing next to each other by the back of the crowd.

We’re seeing their faces as they look up at the stage. Drew looks devastated, and Zaac

has an “I told you so” look.

DREW

WE MISSED THEM!

ZAAC

DREW

ZAAC

YUP.

WE SHOULD HAVE LEFT EARLIER…

YUP.


View of the stage as the opening band packs up. We can see a couple of heads in the

foreground as the guys look over the crowd. The panel is focussing on the bassist who is

handing his guitar to a stage hand. The Bassist is thin with mid length black hair and

black eyeliner. He’s wearing a short sleeve button up and black jeans.

ZAAC

(From off panel)

MAYBE HE’LL COME DOWN TO WATCH THE NEXT SET.

DREW

(From off panel)

MAYBE...


PAGE TWO CONT.


Another shot of the stage now that the main act has taken the stage. The band is ALL

TIME LOW [R9], and their beginning their set. Music noises and such.


Zaac is starting to pull Drew closer to the stage by the hand. There’s quite a few people

in their way.

ZAAC

COME ON LOVERBOY. THERE MIGHT BE A MOSH.


PAGE THREE [5 panels]


Aerial view of the crowd as the boys push their way closer to the front of the crowd.

Don’t focus on it, but there should be 2 cultists in cloaks staked out by the emergency

exit. Drew is bumping into people as he’s dragged by Zaac.

DREW

SORRY.


From behind we see the boys push past a shirtless man (SUBJECT) who has a tattoo of a

gorilla on his arm.

DREW

OOPS. SORRY MAN.


Full body shot of subject as he stares blankly at Drew. He should be almost blank eyed,

like he's looking at nothing. Nothing is going on behind the eyes vibe. His tattoo now

seems to be glowing a little in the same way that Drew’s did at home.

DREW

UUUUUHHHH…


Drew is still looking back at the man, but Zaac is pulling him into a mosh pit between a

few people. Drew looks confused and a little concerned.

DREW

ZAAC?

ZAAC

YEA MAN?


The boys are now standing on the edge of a mosh, there are people dressed in black

band t-shirts and other punk show clothing flailing and running behind them. Zaac is

looking excitedly at the pit, but Drew is still looking back to where the man just

disappeared into the crowd. There should be a smaller inset panel that shows Zaac with

a “You’ve gotta be kidding me” look on his face, and his face half lit by red light.

DREW

I THINK I SAW A CHOSEN…

ZAAC

(From inset panel)

SHIT. NOT THE KIND OF MOSH I WANTED.


PAGE FOUR [3 panels]


Page Width panel. Shot of the man (SUBJECT) from before as red light pulses from his

eyes, mouth, and from the ink of his tattoo. He’s in a lot of pain. His scream should

continue down between panels as an onomatopoeia.

SUBJECT

RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA


Similar panel to the last, but the subject’s muscles are bloating grotesquely as he morphs

into a giant gorilla. Think of this as a gross mid shot of an animorph[R10].

SUBJECT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA


Same style of panel, but this one is taller than the last 2. This is a show of the man in full

gorilla mode. Red energy should be crackling off of the arm that had his tattoo. The eyes

should still be glowing red. Make this one look threatening.

SUBJECT

AAAARRRRRGGGGG


PAGE FIVE [X panels]


People are scattering and running for the exits, but the Gorilla Subject is smashing

things, and throwing people around.

SPECTATOR

AAAAHHHHH


Medium shot of the boys watching the chaos. They are concerned, but not as much as

you’d expect if a giant gorilla appeared in front of you. Drew is reaching down to pull his

sweatshirt off.

ZAAC

BRO, EVERY TIME WE GO OUT!?

DREW

I KNOW RIGHT? LOOKS LIKE THEY CAN’T GET THE

FORMULA RIGHT. THEIR TEST SUBJECTS KEEP

MORPHING.


Same shot as the last panel, but now Drew has his sweatshirt off, and his right arm is

glowing blue around his tattoos. They’re Biomechanical tattoos [R4].

ZAAC

DON’T GO TOO HARD. MUM’LL BE PISSED IF YOU CARK

IT.

DREW

I KNOW, I KNOW.


Wide panel showing Drew’s arm extended out to his right, it is now fully metal with

gears and pistons, as if his tattoos came to life and took over his arm. He looks ready to

throw down. Zaac is standing behind him looking unphased.

DREW

I DON’T WANT TO ACCIDENTALLY KILL HIM EITHER.


PAGE SIX & SEVEN [1 panels]

Literally, go nuts here. Just an awesome double page spread of Drew with his robot-ish

arm fighting a giant crazed gorilla. Maybe like one big panel of Drew punching the

Subject with smaller inset panels of them grappling. Or maybe you want to set it up like

it’s a shattered mirror and each pane of broken glass is a different view of them fighting.

Do whatever, just don’t let it be boring.


PAGE EIGHT [5 panels]


Shot of Zaac just watching what's going on. He’s not doing all that much, maybe

checking his phone. Unfortunately this is a normal night out for him.

ZAAC

(Half Heartedly)

WHOO. GO DREW. YOU GOT THAT… GORILLA… GUY…


Shot of the two cloaked cultists from earlier (3.1) sneaking out of the emergency exit.

Neither of their faces are visible, but one has a clipboard in their hand. One is holding

the door open for the other.

ZAAC

HANG ON…


Outside the emergency exit as Zaac follows the cultists. He’s trying to sneak but not that

well.


Medium shot of the Cultists talking outside of a white van. Zaac is in the background

listening but out of sight.

CULTIST 1

WRITE DOWN THAT SUBJECT 327 WAS A FAILURE. I

THINK IT WAS AN ISSUE WITH BLOWOUT AGAIN.

CULTIST 2

CULTIST 1

YUP, YUP. GOT THAT ALL DOWN. SHOULD I WRITE

ANYTHING DOWN ABOUT ISABELLE’S KID?

NAH. WE CAN JUST MENTION HIM WHEN WE GIVE

OUR REPORT.


Shot from behind the van. Zaac is now crouching behind the van as a cultist gets in the

passenger side.

CULTIST 2

HE’S GONNA HAVE HIS HANDS FULL FOR A MINUTE

THERE. WAS THIS ONE A FULL INK OR A TEMPORARY?

I FORGOT TO CHECK THE BOX.

CULTIST 1

(from the van)

ZAAC

(to himself)

TEMPORARY. GLAD THE SPRINKLERS DIDN’T GO OFF.

THE SPRINKLERS…


PAGE NINE [6 panels]


Drew is still battling the gorilla, but he seems to be getting tired. His arm looks like it's

becoming too heavy for him. There’s no patrons in the theater anymore.

DREW

(as onomatopoeia)

PANT PANT

GORILLA

RRRAAAAAAA


Zaac is bursting back in through the emergency exit behind Drew who still looks beat

and is facing the gorilla.

ZAAC

BRO! IT’S TEMPORARY!

DREW

ZAAC

DREW

WHAT’S TEMPORARY?

THE TATTOO!

OK AND?!


Same angle, Drew is dodging a large speaker that the gorilla has evidently thrown. Zaac

is still behind him, but now looks exasperated with Drew. He’s pointing to the ceiling

indicating the fire sprinklers.

ZAAC

GOD YOU’RE SUCH AN EGG… BREAK THE SPRINKLERS!

WATER MAKE TEMPORARY TATTOO GO BYE-BYE.

DREW

AH!


A full body shot of the gorilla picking up a big stack speaker to throw. He’s a little bloody

but all and all still as angry and powerful as he was at the start.


Shot from behind the speaker which is now midair and flying towards Drew. He’s ready

for it this time and is reaching out with his big robot arm to catch it.

DREW

HOW ABOUT I JUST--

DREW

(as onomatopoeia)

HUP


PAGE NINE CONT.


Same angle but Drew has now caught the speaker and is hurling it upwards towards the

ceiling

DREW

--BORROW THIS FOR A SECOND.


PAGE TEN [3 panels]

This page should be one full bleed panel with two smaller inset panels


This should show a close up of the speaker hitting and breaking the ceiling sprinkler,

which is now showering water down.

SFX

TINK


This is the main bleed panel. It shows the gorilla roaring as it gets covered in water. We

can see the red glow where the subject had its tattoo getting covered in water. It should

show him morphing back into a man in a reverse Animorphs kinda thing[R10].

SUBJECT

ROOOOAAAAARRRR


Another small inset panel that shows a close up of the guys tattoo dissolving off of his

body.

ZAAC

SWEET AS!


PAGE ELEVEN [5 panels]


Zaac is now kneeling over the subject and is checking his pulse to make sure he’s ok.

Drew is standing behind him, and his arm is changing back to a regular arm. The ink

that makes up his tattoo is now extremely faded.

DREW

IS HE GOOD?

ZAAC

DREW

HE’S BREATHING. DON’T THINK MORPHING INTO A

GORILLA THEN GETTING BEAT UP LEAVES YOU

FEELING TOO ‘GOOD’.

FAIR.


Medium shot of Drew and Zaac now standing. Zaac is examining Drew’s tattoo which is

now fading away fully and Drew is kinda looking off at the mess. The police are coming

from off screen but there will be the sound of a siren coming in as an onomatopoeia. The

word itself should be red and blue as if it were a police siren.

ZAAC

THE INK LASTED PRETTY LONG THIS TIME. I’M GLAD

DAD IS SUCH A GOOD CHEMIST.

DREW

ZAAC

SFX

YEA, THOUGH IT LOOKS LIKE THE CHOSEN’S

CHEMISTS ARE GETTING CLOSER. MAYBE WE SHOULD

HAVE DESTROYED THE LAB BEFORE WE LEFT THE

CULT.

MAYBE WE SHOULD HA–

WOOOOOOOOOWWWWOOOOOOOO


Full body shot of the boys as they turn to run for the emergency exit. Drew has a head

start and is about to pull the door open. Zaac is looking back over his shoulder in the

direction of the siren.

SFX

ZAAC

DREW

OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWOOOOOO

SHIT. IT’S THE CHEESE.

I SWEAR. NEW ZEALAND HAS SOME WEIRD ASS SLANG.


PAGE ELEVEN CONT.


Establishing shot of the same area behind the theater from earlier. The boys are running

through the emergency exit door. Drew is in front and is fumbling in his pocket for his

keys.

DREW

I’LL DRIVE.


Over the shoulder shot of the guys running towards a car parked across the street. It’s a

yellow 2002 Ford Mustang [R11] that's a little faded and beat up.


PAGE TWELVE [X panels]

12.1 - EXT. Portland streets–Night

Top down view of the streets around the Theater. We can see the Police cars at the front

of the theater, and the yellow mustang driving away from the theater from the back in

such a way that they can’t be seen.

DREW

UGH. I’LL NEED TO GET GAS SOON.

ZAAC

HOW ABOUT WE FOCUS ON NOT GETTING ARRESTED?


View through the passenger window. Drew is driving and Zaac is turned slightly to talk

to him, but we can still see him in profile.

ZAAC

YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT THOUGH.

DREW

ABOUT?

ZAAC

THAT ACAT’S CHOSEN ARE CLOSE TO FIGURING OUT

HOW TO MAKE DAD’S TATTOO INK.


Wider shot of the passenger side of the car driving down the street.

ZAAC

I THINK WE NEED TO TAKE A MORE ACTIVE ROLE IN

ALL OF THIS.

DREW

*SIGH* YEA I KNOW. I THOUGHT YOUR DAD LEAVING

WOULD MEAN THEY COULDN’T USE ACAT’S NECTAR,

BUT NOW THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND.


Shot from behind the car as it drives away.

DREW

FIRST THINGS FIRST THOUGH. I’M GOING TO NEED A

NEW TATTOO.

ZAAC

HELL YEA! I HAD A NEW IDEA FOR A HONEYCOMB

SLEEVE!

To be continued.


Picture reference:

[R1]

[R2]

[R3]


[R4]

[R5]

[R6]


[R7]

[R8]

[R9] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sP0Q8tbKM8s


[R10]

[R11]

UNTraditional Pitch Package

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