Fourth of July 2023 Issue

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22 Landing Family Opens Home, Fosters Dozens o LAKE HOPATCONG NEWS Fourth of July 2023 Story by MELISSA SUMMERS Photos by Karen Fucito If ever there was a woman destined for motherhood, it’s Carla Suitt. This super mom, who celebrated her 70th birthday in April, has one biological daughter, two adopted sons with her husband, James, and has fostered 39 children. Suitt, of Landing, was born in Trinidad, West Indies, the fifth of seven children. She said her upbringing set the stage for her calling as a foster parent. Inspired by her mother, Pamella Rougier, Suitt learned to welcome anyone who graced their island home. “I believe my mom used to feed the neighborhood,” she said, with a bit of her island accent still showing through. “Any time you come to my house, my mother would ask you, ‘Did you eat yet?’ Always cook more, you don’t know who’s going to stop by.” Life in Trinidad was crazy, according to Suitt. “I was young, I did a lot of things,” she said with an eyebrow raised. “We were teenagers.” At 16, she gave birth to her daughter, Alicia Rougier. “My mom, the whole village raised my daughter,” she said. Suitt enjoyed anything creative. She wanted to bake cakes and do things with her hands. “My mom said, ‘You have a little girl, you should learn to sew.’” She did, earning an associate degree in sewing, drafting and pattern design at John Donaldson Technical Institute in Trinidad. In March 1978, at age 25, Suitt moved to Brooklyn, New York, with her mother, two sisters, and Alicia—who was 7 at the time and still referred to her grandmother as Mommy and her mother as Carla. “It’s only when Alicia got to college, I said, ‘Stop calling me Carla. Start calling me Mother now,’” said Suitt. Suitt often visited a cousin in New Jersey and soon got a clerical job at Howmet Castings in Dover, where turbine blades were manufactured for the aviation industry. It wasn’t her ideal job choice, but it had one big benefit. “I met this guy, James [Suitt], and never went back to Brooklyn,” she said of the kind and distinguished man from Dover who caught her eye. In 1980, Carla Suitt got an apartment in Dover. It took two years for her daughter to join her because her mom and sisters were still holding a tight rein. “First, they told me, ‘You don’t have your own place.’ I got my own place. ‘Well, you don’t have a car.’ I got a car now. ‘Is it a good car, a running car?’” she said with a shake of her head. Once she and James Suitt were serious, they started looking for homes together and chose one in Landing, moving there in May 1984. Suitt waited until they were married that June before he moved in. “He always went back over to his parents’ house,” said Alicia Rougier-Walker, now 53. Suitt told her daughter she was setting an example by not allowing James to move in before they were married. The Suitts attended Mount Zion Baptist Church in Boonton, where in 1995 they met a 12-year-old girl named Shandora. She had been living with her grandmother but found herself needing a home and began staying with the Suitts. Rougier-Walker, who had been away at Army boot camp, came home to the surprise sibling. “She was going to spend the summer, my parents said. Just someone from church, that’s it, but then the grandmother just transferred everything to the Department of Children and Families [DCF].” DCF told the Suitts they’d cover medical expenses but didn’t discuss a foster payment. “I just wanted to help this child,” said Carla Suitt, who continued working full-time at Howmet for 11 years. She just figured she’d pick up some parttime work for extra income to help defray the cost. So when a check arrived from DCF, the family was a bit confused. “We didn’t know what it was, so I’m like, ‘Ma, just return to sender,’” Rougier-Walker recalled. “So, we put it in another envelope and sent it back. Then, it came a second time.” And that, said Rougier-Walker, is when the Suitts found out that foster parents were given a supplemental income. Once the house was a certified foster home, the calls began. Tara and Alexa came in 1996. “The original girl didn’t like that,” laughed Rougier- Walker, who lived at home until she was 30. Some foster children were placed in their home for a week or two while their parents Top to bottom, left to right: Alicia Rougier-Walker visits with the Suitt’s first foster child, Shandora Miller, in December of 2004. William, James and Carla Suitt with Rougier-Walker. William Suitt, Rougier-Walker and Adam Suitt at Rougier-Walker’s college graduation in 2015. Rougier-Walker and William at their childhood home. Carla Suitt in her rose garden. (Some photos courtesy of the Suitt family.)
f Local Kids vacationed. Others stayed for up to two years, which is the time allowed for birth parents to make the changes necessary to get their kids back, according to Carla Suitt. The youngest was 18 months, the oldest, 16. According to the Suitts, foster children in their home never wanted to leave. “They aren’t just eating macaroni and cheese,” Rougier-Walker said. “Mom is cooking for them.” Never straying too far from her true passions, over the years, Carla Suitt maintained jobs in a restaurant, bakery and fabric store and also provided child care (including for one of this reporter’s children). A skilled seamstress, she still takes on occasional work hemming dress pants or altering wedding gowns. She made a point of spending time with each child. “I make bread … I bake cookies … I braid their hair,” she said. The boys wore suits and the girls wore dresses for church and Sunday school each week. James Suitt, now 67, said children in their home felt safe and welcomed. “They are getting loved, they are getting attention, you are taking time out to listen and to do things with them,” he said. “The system knew, whoever was coming here was in good hands.” The Suitts met once a month with other foster parents. Often, they’d exchange kids’ clothes but not Carla Suitt. “They said, ‘Where you get your clothes?’ I said, ‘The store.’ They said, ‘You have to go to the thrift shop.’ I said, ‘Would you go to the thrift shop for your biological child?’ They’re my children, why wouldn’t I buy things in the store for them?” Suitt balked at parents who introduced only some of their kids as their own and some as fosters. “When you start separating them, what stigma are you putting in that child’s head?” In June of 2000, Suitt got the call about Adam, a 4-year-old boy from Mine Hill. His 2-year-old brother, William, was in Jersey City. “I asked, ‘Why are they separated?’ I’ll make room for both of them,” she said. “First you take him out of the house and now he’s separated from his brother.” Adam Suitt, now 27, recalls never having space in his previous three homes. “I used to sleep in the hallway or living room,” he said. “In one home, they kept a whole space for the cat. Sometimes I’d go in and sleep with the cat. Here, we had our own room.” With three older daughters, Adam and William’s biological mother struggled to take care of five children. His dad was in and out of the picture. “I’m very blessed where I found myself,” he said. “Not many foster parents are willing to take care of children beyond their physical needs.” Two years later, Carla was told Adam and William’s parents would not be taking them back and that they were available for adoption. “They were signing off their parental rights but only if the Suitts adopted the boys,” Rougier- Walker recalled. Carla Suitt was 49 and wrestled with the idea of permanently taking on two small children. “I started praying and asked myself why these kids came here.” The adoption was official in September 2002. “Taking on two personalities … two children I didn’t give birth to … but I didn’t feel that I didn’t give birth to them,” she said of the boys. “They are my children.” Despite obstacles, the Suitts worked hard to keep William and Adam connected to their biological family. The boys spoke to their sisters, and the Suitts would pick their father up and bring him to birthday parties. “We would take Adam and William for visits with their mom at DCF, then find out she didn’t show up,” said Carla about the scheduled meetings at the agency’s office. It was a bit of an adjustment for Rougier- Walker, who was 32 when the boys were adopted. “She said, ‘I’ve been a single child all my life— now I’ve got to share my inheritance,’” recalled Carla Suitt with a chuckle. “I told James this is what we are going to do. We are just going to spend it. There won’t be anything left to fight about!” Soon after the boys were adopted, the Suitts had seven children living in their home. James Suitt took money out of his 401k to buy a van. In 2007, the Suitts’ Landing home was expanded with larger bedrooms and an extra bathroom. Bunk beds in two of the four bedrooms were consistently filled with children over the next couple of decades. For many of those years, Carla said her husband worked 70-hour weeks, and the couple was able to pay off the house. “I would call him at work and say, ‘James, they called me for another child.’ He’d say, ‘Why did you call me? You know you’re going to take them anyway.’ I’d say, ‘Okay, love you, bye!’” Not every child was easy. Many had special needs or disabilities, but Carla Suitt would be there for them. “I always told DCF not to call me just because I have the room. I should be the last call they make. Call me the cleanup woman,” she said. “I’m not looking for a check. I’m not looking to babysit nobody’s kids. I’m looking to advocate for a child. That’s what I do.” One difficult case involved a 12-year-old boy named Ryan, who had been sent by DCF to Florida to live with an aunt, the only family member willing to take him. He had scoliosis and needed spinal surgery. The aunt would only agree to the surgery if she was paid as a full-time caregiver, so DCF called on the Suitts to foster him. “I started advocating for him, taking him to the doctor, the specialist,” said Carla Suitt. Ryan was able to have the surgery and stayed with the Suitts for about a year including recovery time, according to Carla. Then there was 3-year-old Joey, who was kicked out of day care because of his behavior. James Suitt was shocked. Rougier-Walker, not so much. She laughed at the memory of the precocious little boy. He definitely won Carla Suitt over. “Once, he went to the door and yelled: ‘Jesus, God, it’s me, Joey. I don’t want to leave this house!’ He closed the door and said, ‘Mama, Jesus said I could stay.’ And I said, ‘If Jesus said you can stay, you can stay.’ Who am I to say Jesus didn’t tell him? He was something else.” One foster, Tyree, is now a firefighter in Somerset County. “He wanted some of my recipes to cook at the firehouse,” boasted Carla Suitt. James Suitt said they tried to take in mostly boys, close in age to their adopted sons. “If kids come into a home and there are no other kids, it’s tough, but when they see other kids it’s a different thing,” he added. “I would look at it like having another brother,” said Adam Suitt about his unique, extended family. “People would ask, ‘Who is that?’ I wouldn’t say my foster brother, I would say my brother. I would always see them as another brother. Some kids just needed that.” He would encourage the foster kids to share their feelings in ways they could not in other homes. “And my toys were their toys,” he said. “Sometimes when they’d leave, I’d give them something.” Often the children would come with everything they owned in a garbage bag, Carla Suitt said. But when they left, they took everything with them—often in a new suitcase or backpack. Once their sons were teens, the couple knew they were nearing the end of their time as foster parents. The last foster, Danny, lived at the home until 2018. Carla Suitt said she would do it all over again in a heartbeat. “I enjoy them. I cry when they leave. I wonder if their mother is giving them a bath, I wonder if they change their clothes. I hope she’s not keeping the diaper on too long.” Her husband said the couple “took kids that needed the love” and that their foster journey has been a joyous adventure with a lasting impact. “They’ve kept me young. You are part of them, and they are part of you.” “People do things for the wrong reasons,” said Carla Suitt. “I did this because I love children. I gave birth to one, but I fostered many. They’re all my children. And I did it because there was a need. I had the time and that’s what I did. And this poor man put up with it for me and my lovely daughter.” lakehopatcongnews.com 23
Page 1 and 2: INFORMING, SERVING AND CELEBRATING
Page 3 and 4: 2023 Wade Martin 2023 Wade Martin 2
Page 5 and 6: RE/MAX Town and Valley II SOLD SOLD
Page 7 and 8: The Milton Rescue Squad also benefi
Page 9 and 10: Majestic Lakefront Estates Exclusiv
Page 11 and 12: that spirit of community activism i
Page 13 and 14: A Hands-On Adventure on New Jersey
Page 15 and 16: in CAD and architecture and was thr
Page 17 and 18: KATELYNN PETERSON LOCAL VOICES An a
Page 19 and 20: helped correct previous shortfalls,
Page 21: important to protect the lake.” T
Page 25 and 26: SEPTIC SYSTEMS INSTALLED AND REPAIR
Page 27 and 28: “I could always draw and make thi
Page 29 and 30: SUMMER CLEANING • MULTI SERVICE D
Page 31 and 32: A four-generation family run busine
Page 33 and 34: We are now THURSDAY 4pm - 12am + FR
Page 35 and 36: tried to pay back for the rest of h
Page 37 and 38: Korean Short Rib Tacos Serves 4-6 T
Page 39 and 40: Delicious Dining. Incredible Views.
Page 41 and 42: HAWKRIDGEFARMNJ FRESH AND ORGANIC S
Page 43 and 44: ORTHWEST EXPLOSIVES BLASTING CONTRA

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