Fourth of July 2023 Issue

f Local Kids
vacationed. Others stayed for up to two years,
which is the time allowed for birth parents to
make the changes necessary to get their kids
back, according to Carla Suitt. The youngest was
18 months, the oldest, 16.
According to the Suitts, foster children in their
home never wanted to leave.
“They aren’t just eating macaroni and cheese,”
Rougier-Walker said. “Mom is cooking for them.”
Never straying too far from her true passions,
over the years, Carla Suitt maintained jobs in
a restaurant, bakery and fabric store and also
provided child care (including for one of this
reporter’s children). A skilled seamstress, she still
takes on occasional work hemming dress pants or
altering wedding gowns.
She made a point of spending time with each
child. “I make bread … I bake cookies … I braid their
hair,” she said. The boys wore suits and the girls
wore dresses for church and Sunday school each
week.
James Suitt, now 67, said children in their home
felt safe and welcomed. “They are getting loved,
they are getting attention, you are taking time
out to listen and to do things with them,” he said.
“The system knew, whoever was coming here was
in good hands.”
The Suitts met once a month with other foster
parents. Often, they’d exchange kids’ clothes but
not Carla Suitt. “They said, ‘Where you get your
clothes?’ I said, ‘The store.’ They said, ‘You have to
go to the thrift shop.’ I said, ‘Would you go to the
thrift shop for your biological child?’ They’re my
children, why wouldn’t I buy things in the store
for them?”
Suitt balked at parents who introduced only
some of their kids as their own and some as
fosters. “When you start separating them, what
stigma are you putting in that child’s head?”
In June of 2000, Suitt got the call about Adam,
a 4-year-old boy from Mine Hill. His 2-year-old
brother, William, was in Jersey City. “I asked, ‘Why
are they separated?’ I’ll make room for both of
them,” she said. “First you take him out of the
house and now he’s separated from his brother.”
Adam Suitt, now 27, recalls never having space
in his previous three homes. “I used to sleep in
the hallway or living room,” he said. “In one home,
they kept a whole space for the cat. Sometimes
I’d go in and sleep with the cat. Here, we had our
own room.”
With three older daughters, Adam and William’s
biological mother struggled to take care of five
children. His dad was in and out of the picture.
“I’m very blessed where I found myself,” he said.
“Not many foster parents are willing to take care
of children beyond their physical needs.”
Two years later, Carla was told Adam and
William’s parents would not be taking them back
and that they were available for adoption.
“They were signing off their parental rights but
only if the Suitts adopted the boys,” Rougier-
Walker recalled.
Carla Suitt was 49 and wrestled with the idea
of permanently taking on two small children.
“I started praying and asked myself why these
kids came here.”
The adoption was official in September
2002.
“Taking on two personalities … two children
I didn’t give birth to … but I didn’t feel that I
didn’t give birth to them,” she said of the boys.
“They are my children.”
Despite obstacles, the Suitts worked hard
to keep William and Adam connected to their
biological family. The boys spoke to their
sisters, and the Suitts would pick their father
up and bring him to birthday parties. “We
would take Adam and William for visits with
their mom at DCF, then find out she didn’t
show up,” said Carla about the scheduled
meetings at the agency’s office.
It was a bit of an adjustment for Rougier-
Walker, who was 32 when the boys were
adopted.
“She said, ‘I’ve been a single child all my life—
now I’ve got to share my inheritance,’” recalled
Carla Suitt with a chuckle. “I told James this is
what we are going to do. We are just going to
spend it. There won’t be anything left to fight
about!”
Soon after the boys were adopted, the
Suitts had seven children living in their home.
James Suitt took money out of his 401k to buy
a van.
In 2007, the Suitts’ Landing home was
expanded with larger bedrooms and an
extra bathroom. Bunk beds in two of the
four bedrooms were consistently filled with
children over the next couple of decades.
For many of those years, Carla said her
husband worked 70-hour weeks, and the
couple was able to pay off the house.
“I would call him at work and say, ‘James,
they called me for another child.’ He’d say,
‘Why did you call me? You know you’re going
to take them anyway.’ I’d say, ‘Okay, love you,
bye!’”
Not every child was easy. Many had special
needs or disabilities, but Carla Suitt would be
there for them.
“I always told DCF not to call me just because
I have the room. I should be the last call they
make. Call me the cleanup woman,” she said.
“I’m not looking for a check. I’m not looking to
babysit nobody’s kids. I’m looking to advocate
for a child. That’s what I do.”
One difficult case involved a 12-year-old
boy named Ryan, who had been sent by DCF
to Florida to live with an aunt, the only family
member willing to take him. He had scoliosis
and needed spinal surgery. The aunt would
only agree to the surgery if she was paid as a
full-time caregiver, so DCF called on the Suitts
to foster him. “I started advocating for him,
taking him to the doctor, the specialist,” said
Carla Suitt. Ryan was able to have the surgery
and stayed with the Suitts for about a year
including recovery time, according to Carla.
Then there was 3-year-old Joey, who was
kicked out of day care because of his behavior.
James Suitt was shocked. Rougier-Walker, not
so much. She laughed at the memory of the
precocious little boy.
He definitely won Carla Suitt over. “Once,
he went to the door and yelled: ‘Jesus, God,
it’s me, Joey. I don’t want to leave this house!’
He closed the door and said, ‘Mama, Jesus said
I could stay.’ And I said, ‘If Jesus said you can
stay, you can stay.’ Who am I to say Jesus didn’t
tell him? He was something else.”
One foster, Tyree, is now a firefighter in
Somerset County. “He wanted some of my
recipes to cook at the firehouse,” boasted
Carla Suitt.
James Suitt said they tried to take in mostly
boys, close in age to their adopted sons. “If
kids come into a home and there are no other
kids, it’s tough, but when they see other kids
it’s a different thing,” he added.
“I would look at it like having another
brother,” said Adam Suitt about his unique,
extended family. “People would ask, ‘Who is
that?’ I wouldn’t say my foster brother, I would
say my brother. I would always see them as
another brother. Some kids just needed that.”
He would encourage the foster kids to share
their feelings in ways they could not in other
homes.
“And my toys were their toys,” he said.
“Sometimes when they’d leave, I’d give them
something.”
Often the children would come with
everything they owned in a garbage bag,
Carla Suitt said. But when they left, they took
everything with them—often in a new suitcase
or backpack.
Once their sons were teens, the couple
knew they were nearing the end of their time
as foster parents. The last foster, Danny, lived
at the home until 2018.
Carla Suitt said she would do it all over again
in a heartbeat. “I enjoy them. I cry when they
leave. I wonder if their mother is giving them
a bath, I wonder if they change their clothes.
I hope she’s not keeping the diaper on too
long.”
Her husband said the couple “took kids that
needed the love” and that their foster journey
has been a joyous adventure with a lasting
impact. “They’ve kept me young. You are part
of them, and they are part of you.”
“People do things for the wrong reasons,” said
Carla Suitt. “I did this because I love children. I
gave birth to one, but I fostered many. They’re
all my children. And I did it because there was a
need. I had the time and that’s what I did. And
this poor man put up with it for me and my
lovely daughter.”
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