SNN_August 2023 Issue_web

NEW ZEALAND SPINAL TRUST 4
—Peter Thornton
While there’s sadness to
be driving away, there is
also real excitement about
what is next.
living with a permanent injury or illness. The moment
—as Andrew puts it—“when the chickens come home
to roost”.
HAPPY FAMILY—Our family have settled well back home in Auckland.
While there’s sadness to be driving away, there is also real
excitement about what is next. We’re moving back into
our own home. We will be back with our family. We will
ensure that for the next 15 years our kids are settled and
secure as they make their way through their school.
It’s time for the next chapter.
Back to my cat for a second. Murphy spent the first two
hours of our journey meowing like he’s only got a few
moments to live. I remember the Vet’s advice who
suggested ‘Give him the sedative right before you leave
and after two hours he should be out like a light’.
Moments later. Silence. Golden silence. He doesn’t make
another peep until we hit the rush hour traffic
approaching Auckland’s Harbour Bridge.
After singing my heart out to Crowded House, Shihad and
Foo Fighters’ back catalogue, I think about the concept of
place. The places we spend our minutes, hours and days
that capture our memories and feelings. They provide the
setting for our lives to unfold—it’s impossible to recount
those moments without the attachment to that place.
Change is hard.
It’s unsettling. It puts you out of your comfort zone and
challenges who you are.
As the kids, settle into their new school we’ve been telling
them: ‘Be brave’, ‘Just be yourself’, ‘Take it one day at a
time’ and ‘Never give up’. Sometimes I wonder when I’m
telling them this advice, that deep down I am also talking
to myself.
We are back home and we love it. But it’s different. I
realise that, I have it easy. I think of the many people who
I’ve talked to about the hardest step in their rehab from a
spinal injury—going home.
Andrew Hall, who runs our Peer and Whānau Support
team among many other things, summed it up so well.
That is the moment when the reality hits people they are
The physical rehab is one thing but the mental recovery is
also complicated. The person isn’t the same as they were
before their injury and all of a sudden navigating their
own home is a huge struggle. It’s supposed to be their safe
place, but there are barriers everywhere.
They go from the best environment possible for catering
to their needs—the Spinal Unit with help always available
and care a push of a button away—to being at home.
There are loads of bittersweet memories and no escaping
the reality that now, life is different. And that’s not even
mentioning going out into the world.
It’s a hugely confronting moment.
And the worst thing of all is no-one really gets it. Unless
of course you have been on that same path yourself.
Family still love them to bits. They are there for them as
best they can be, but it’s not the same.
It’s a lonely old road.
But the good news is—as so many people will tell you—it
only gets better. And the NZ Spinal Trust and Spinal
Support NZ partnership with ACC to fund Peer and
Whānau Support has been a ground-breaking push
forward. It’s making a huge difference in formalising our
community to support one another and help with every
stage of life. I hope there is more to come.
Of course, we can all help. We can all make conscious
decisions to look out for one another, and create
community wherever we are.
For people with a spinal cord impairment, that support
can be the catalyst to living an independent life or not.
Every person who has come through the Spinal Unit and
gone on to their own journey has been down this same
path. They have faced their challenge head on, grieved
when they needed to, and been supported and then
supported others to live a life that is worth living.
Change is hard. No doubt about that.
But if you are on this journey, take your time and when
you are ready, reach out for a chat. There will be someone
waiting to help you, just like they were supported. They’ll
help you find the next chapter in your story.