CMW-WB-CH08

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Gender Asymmetry Secondly, there is a problem of gender asymmetry in the reasons why men and women cohabitate. Women tend to interpret cohabitation as a step toward marriage. Some even feel pressured to cohabitate in order to move toward engagement and marriage. On the other hand, men tend to believe that cohabitation is a way to test the relationship and postpone commitment — precisely the opposite of what women want. 16 These differences generally result in women pushing men toward engagement and marriage and men trying to postpone it. If an engagement occurs, many men have reservations about the permanent public commitment, but ultimately give in because of the pressure and the seeming practicality of continuing the combination of bills and mutual support. Once again, the marriage is grounded less in a deliberate mutual commitment to start a new life and family together, and more in acceding to pressure and practical convenience — evidently less than a solid foundation. Cohabitation often bypasses commitment and generally creates unhealthy pressure between men and women. Melancholy by Edgar Degas (ca. 1860). © Sophia Institute for Teachers Unit 3, Chapter 8: Premarital Sex and Cohabitation 161
Consumer Lock-In Thirdly, the consumer lock-in effect extends the time of cohabitation beyond couples’ expectations, leading to an intensification of its negative effects. “Consumer lock-in” is a term from behavioral economics. It describes how, once we have invested in something, we are less likely to put in the work needed to make a change. We feel as though we are locked in so to speak. For example, if you have been playing one sport for most of your life, you might stick with it even though you would really like to try a different one. You do not want to have to start all over, learn new basic skills, buy all new equipment, and so forth. Economist Meg Jay describes it as follows: Lock-in is the decreased likelihood to search for, or change to, another option once an investment in something has been made. The greater the setup costs, the less likely we are to move to another, even better, situation [such as marriage if the couple is doing well — or separation if the couple is fighting], especially when faced with switching costs, or the time, money, and effort it requires to make a change. 17 There is a higher purpose to married life. The Holy Family by Bartolomeo Schedoni (ca. 1613-1615). 162 Apologetics II: Challenges of the Modern World © Magis Center
Page 1 and 2: UNIT 3 CHAPTER 8 Premarital Sex and
Page 3 and 4: Chapter 8 Aa VOCABULARY Premarital
Page 5 and 6: We find true freedom in self-giving
Page 7: divorce, the main problem comes fro
Page 11 and 12: Emotional intimacy not only strengt
Page 13 and 14: Religion and marriage are reciproca

CMW-WB-CH08

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