Sexuality Education - Outreach

Bringing the Birds & Bees 

Down to Earth: 

Sexuality Education For 

Individuals With Autism 

Lisa Mitchell, LCSW-R 

Licensed Clinical Social Worker 


The academics still have little 

grasp of the problems the autistic 

adult faces, instead of focusing 

90% of their attention on the child 

under the age of twelve. The 

attitude is almost Freudian, in that 

after age twelve the person almost 

becomes a non-person, prompting 

one to ask “What next?” 

Melissa Bee, October 12 th , 1999 



Why? 

Outline 

� Introduction to Sexuality Education & A.S.D.’s: 

Why? Reasons for Education 

Who? Considerations for Families & Professionals 

� What?: Key & Other Concepts to Teach 

� How?: 

General Tips for Providing Sexuality Education 

Activities & Interventions 

� Sexually Maladaptive Behaviors: 

Determining Causes 

Interventions 


Autism: Sexuality, Variability, & Interest 

� Sexuality may be very different for persons with 

A.S.D.’s depending on their level of functioning. 

� A fairly recent study* of persons with A.S.D’s, 

who had more severe impairments found: 

~39% of males & 47% of females 

demonstrated “definite signs of sexual behavior 

towards others”. 

~68% of males & 73% of females demonstrated 

“indefinite signs of sexual behavior towards 

others”. 

� The moral: Regardless of level of functioning, 

interest seems to be there for many persons with 

Autism Spectrum Disorders. 

* Haracopos, D. & Pedersen, L. (2002): Sexuality & Autism, Danish Report: Society for 

the Autistically Handicapped. Copenhagen. 


Reasons Why Persons with A.S.D.’S Need 

Sexuality Education & Support 


� The Media 

� Peers 

� Sexual Abuse 

1

Reason #1 For Education & Support: 

Sexual Abuse 

� Abuse: Children with developmental 

disabilities are abused 2-3 times more than 

non-disabled children. 

� 68-80% of developmentally disabled females 

are sexually molested or raped by age 18. 

� 30-70% of developmentally disabled males 

are sexually molested or raped by age 18. 

� 49% of developmentally disabled individuals 

who are sexually abused will experience 10 or 

more abusive incidents in their lifetimes. 

� 15,000-19,000 individuals with developmental 

disabilities are raped each year. 

� Studies show that approximately 90% of 

individuals with developmental disabilities. 

* Furey, E.M. (1994); Sobsey, D., & Doe, T. (1991); & Reynolds, L. (2002) 




Who? 

What? 

Sexuality Education: 

Increases the likelihood 

that individuals with 

disabilities will either 

have the skills to stay safe, 

or will be more likely to 

report victimization 

after it occurs. 


Who Should Do “The Talk?” 

� Optimum for young people: 75% family 

& 25% agency or school 

� Every family, school or agency is 

different 

� Ideally, it is best to have at least one 

caregiver involved. 

� Best candidate 

� For Schools: Co-Teaching & “Guidance 

Classroom” 

� How to deal with discomfort 

� “The talk” fallacy 


“Safe” Sexuality Subjects 

� Self-Esteem: May Include 

Education About Disabilities 

� Puberty: Dealing With Body 

& Feeling Changes 

� Abuse Prevention 

� Relationships 

� Social Skills 

*Adapted from: Schwier, K.M. & Hingsburger, D. (2000) 


2

Key Concepts 

� Body Awareness & 

Terminology: Teach 

correct names for body 

parts, including genitalia. 

Three types of language: 

“Adult” or “Scientific”, 

“Baby-talk”, & “Street” 

� Public & Private*: Body 

parts, locations, clothing, 

behavior & subject 

matter 

*Adapted from: Schwier, K.M. & Hingsburger, D. (2000) 


Key Concepts For Girls: 

Body Changes & Menses 

� Educate on typical body changes for girls 

(e.g. breast development, hair, acne, body 

odor). 

� Most girls with A.S.D.’s accept menstruation 

in a matter of fact manner. 

� Teach the beauty of becoming a woman. 

When menstruation first occurs, it should be 

celebrated. 

� Talk about and prepare them for the sight of 

blood. 

� Prior to menstruation, teach and practice 

how to use sanitary products. For those 

with significant tactile sensitivities, use a 

systematic desensitization approach. 

� Encourage use of calendars and changing 

schedules. 

� Suggest a “road trip” to their local drug 

store for personal hygiene supplies. 


Key Concepts: Abuse Prevention 

� Replace “stranger danger” with being 

wary of “strange behavior”. 

� Teach the various forms of sexual 

abuse. 

� There are people in the world (even 

familiar people) who do hurtful or 

inappropriate things. 

� Basics: Differences between good, bad 

and mixed-up/sexual/secret touches. 

� Rules for sexual touches. 

� Most Important Possession: Body 

Ownership. 


Key Concepts: PUBERTY 

*Crucial*: 

Educate About Puberty 

BEFORE 

IT 

STARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


Key Concepts For Boys: Body Changes, 

Erections, & Wet Dreams 

� Educate on typical body changes for 

boys (e.g. height and muscle 

development, hair, acne, body odor, 

voice changes). 

� Teach boys that as they enter puberty, 

their genitals will start to change and 

behave differently. Emphasize the 

normalcy of this!! 

� Prepare boys for spontaneous erections 

and wet dreams. 

� While emphasizing the positive aspects 

of these changes (“How cool, you are 

becoming a man!”), don’t forget to offer 

“Erection Management Strategies” 

when appropriate. 

� Suggest a “road trip” to their local drug 

store for personal hygiene supplies. 


Key Concepts: Abuse Prevention 

� Age appropriate ways of 

showing affection to others.* 

� “No, Go, Tell”** 

� Teach how to be assertive, 

and to say “No” to authority 

figures.* 

� Role-play possible scenarios 

during which they can say 

“No!”.* 

� Encourage them to “walk 

with pride”.* 

* Schwier, K.M. & Hingsburger, D. (2000) 

**Krents, E.J. & Atkins, D.S. (1991) 


3

Key Concepts: Social Skills 

� Emphasize good grooming and hygiene*. 

� Provide as many opportunities to socialize 

as possible*. 

� Help to develop hobbies and interests*. 

� Teach basic social skills: eye contact, 

listening, greeting others, and appropriate 

topics of conversation. 

� Teach more advanced social skills: 

perspective taking, inside/outside 

thoughts, dealing with rejection, conflict 

resolution, and reading body language. 

� Be patient! Social skill development can 

take years of observation, discussion, 

practice, and constructive feedback. 

*Newport, J. & Newport, M. (2002) 


Relationship Staircase: Intimacy 

*Pictures reproduced from Young Adult Institue (YAI) Sexuality Series 

** Pictures reproduced from Circles (Champagne & Hirsch) 

TIME ------> 

Relationship Checklist 

1. Do they smile at me? 15. Do I know their favorite food? 

2. Do they know my name? 16. What’s their favorite ice cream flavor? 

3. Do they say hello when they see me? 17. Do I know their favorite band/song? 

4. Do they talk to me for a few minutes at a time? 18. Do they have a favorite movie star? 

5. Do they ask me questions about myself? 19. Do they have a pet? What’s it’s name? 

6. Do they compliment me/Use nice words? 20. What do they like to do for fun? 

7. Do they listen to me when I talk? 21. Have they given me their phone number 

8. Do they ask me how I’m feeling? or e-mail address? 

9. Do they help me when I’m upset? 22. Do they call me/talk to me on the phone/send me 

10. Do they stand up for me? text messages, or e-mail me? 

11. Are they respectful (e.g. no name calling/ put-downs)? 23. Do they invite me to do things/go places with them? 

12. Do I know when their birthday is? 24. Have I been invited to their house? 

13. Do I know how many brothers and sisters they have? 25. Have they asked me out on a date? 

14. Do I know their favorite color? 26. Have they asked me to be their boy/girl friend? 

Key Concepts: Relationships 

� Self-Esteem: How can you have a good 

relationship with others, when you don’t have 

one with yourself? 

� Types of relationships and appropriate 

behaviors for each category 

� 3 Rules of Healthy Relationships* 

� Reciprocity: 2-way street 

� Friendships: Can be practice for romantic 

relationships. How can you be a good 

boyfriend/girlfriend if you don’t know how to be 

a good friend? 

� Staircase Analogy: Gradual progression of 

intimacy 

� Relationship Checklist: How close are you 

really? 

* Schwier, K.M. & Hingsburger, D. (2000) 


Relationship Checklist & 

“The Road to Relationships” 

1. Do they smile at me? 

2. Do they know my name? 

3. Do they say hello when they see me? 

4. Do they talk to me for a few minutes at a time? 

5. Do I know when their birthday is? 

6. Do I know how many brothers and sisters they 

have? 

7. Do I know their favorite food? 

8. Do I know their favorite band/song? 

9. Have they given me their phone number or email 

address? 

10. Do they call me/talk to me on the phone/send 

me text messages, or e-mail me? 

11. Do they invite me to do things/go places with 

them? 

12. Have I been invited to their house? 

1 Check = 1 Brick (1 Step for Person, 

1 Space for Car, etc.) 


Best Friends 

Hi & Goodbye Friends 

Strangers 

Good Friends 

The Search: Finding Companionship 

� The Internet: Benefits & Pitfalls 

� Vulnerability & Rejection 

� Difficulties with: Initiation, Follow-up, Attention & Intimacy 

� Small Steps to Intimacy: “Associate” – Friend – Romantic 

Partner 

� F.Y.I.: The legal age of consent in Pennsylvania is 16 years! 

(with less than 4 years age gap between the 16 year old and 

their partner). 

� Autism does not have to stop individuals from forming loving 

relationships. They just need to approach relationships in a 

different way. 

Lisa Mitchell, LCSW-R Lisa Mitchell, LCSW-R 

4

Other Concepts to Teach: Dating 

� Discuss all the details we might take 

for granted. 

� How to discern other’s motivations for 

involvement. 

� Sexual decision making, & the right to 

refuse or say “no” to sexual activities. 

� Re-introduce the concept of “the 

bases”. 

� Use role-plays and practice dates to 

teach skills. 

� Advance preparation 

� Review personal safety skills. 


Other Concepts To Teach: Intercourse/ 

Reproduction 

� Not always necessary or appropriate to teach. 

� Initially, give a very basic explanation of 

intercourse & add information over time. 

� Loving sex is something that is done in private, 

between two consenting adults. 

� Emphasize the importance of delaying sexual 

intercourse until they are mature enough and 

emotionally and financially able to deal with the 

many responsibilities/consequences. 

� Ask individuals to share their own or their 

families’ values. 

� Got Pictures?: Male sperm + Female egg = Baby 



How? 

Other Concepts To Teach: Masturbation 

� Terminology: “private touching” 

� Try to be as neutral as possible, 

emphasizing that masturbation can be 

very normal and natural (it is also 

normal and natural to choose not to 

masturbate!!). 

� Stress privacy or appropriate times 

and locations to masturbate. 

� May benefit from a “private time” 

schedule. 

� In many cases, teach masturbation is 

not an option. 

� May require a targeted behavioral 

intervention, or simply keeping hands 

busy/redirection to activities involving 

motion. 


Other Key Concepts: Sexual Orientation 

& Lifestyle Choices 

� Adult Sexual Orientation: Is something 

that a person is or has, rather than 

something that they have chosen. 

� Give a very simple definition. 

� Emphasize how small this component is 

when considering “the bigger picture” of who 

the person is and what they are about. 

� Other Lifestyle Choices: Some people 

date, some don’t. Some have sexual 

relationships, some chose abstinence. 

Some people never get married or have 

children. All lifestyle choices have equal 

value and deserve equal respect. 


Use “Teachable Moments” 

� “Teachable Moments” are when your 

person asks a question or mentions 

something they have heard about 

sexuality. These moments can also 

occur when a TV show, movie, song, 

book, newspaper, magazine, or 

anything else in the environment 

presents a sexual scenario that 

interests or confuses them. Use 

these moments to share information 

or teach values and beliefs. 


5

Tips for Communicating 

� Find out what your person knows or does 

not know, and use this as a starting point. 

� Be mindful of location*. 

� Use a calm matter of fact tone*. 

� Use “private voice” when discussing 

sexuality issues*. 

� Repeat key information often. 

� Communicate with others about what you 

are working on, and assist your person in 

identifying other appropriate individuals with 

whom they can discuss sexuality issues. 

* Schwier, K. & Hingsburger, D. (2000) 


The 6 Rules of Presentation*: 

� Simple 

� Visual 

� Individualized 

� Repetitive 

� Fun 

� Concrete 

*Maurer, L. (1996) 


Nifty Teaching Techniques 

� Any & Everything: Picture Sorts & 

Collages 

� Self-Esteem, Public & Private, 

Hygiene, Abuse Prevention: Body 

Charts 

� Social Presentation: Video Self- 

Monitoring 

� Rating Scales of Interest/ 

Feelings, Safe & Unsafe Sexual 

Behavior: Thermometers 

� Any & Everything: Graphic 

Organizers 


� Be proactive. 

Advice for Teaching 

� Social topics are just as important as the 

sexual, (e.g. social skills, personal 

boundaries, relationships) with emphasis on 

social reciprocity. 

� Use a variety of teaching mediums and 

approaches*. 

� Break down more involved tasks into steps*. 

� From the start of training, teach the correct 

steps to a routine. 

� Focus on the more practical application of 

information (logical vs. biological)*. 

*Maurer, L. (1996) 


Educational Activities 

& Interventions 


Graphic Organizers: Self-Esteem 

& Social Issues 

Like 

some of 

the same 

things 

Spend 

time 

together 

Friends 

Do 

Invite each 

other 

places 


Treat each 

other with 

kindness 

Compromise 

6

More Nifty Teaching Techniques 

� Social Skills & Abuse 

Prevention: Role-Plays 

� Any & Everything: 

Homemade Books, Social 

Stories* & Comic Strip 

Conversations* 

� Social Skills & Abuse 

Prevention: Circles Charts** 

� Conversation Skills: 

Communication Balls*** 

� Any & Everything: 

Anatomically Correct Dolls 

* Gray, C. (2000) & (1994) 

**Champagne & Walker-Hirsch (1986-1993) 

***Stangle, J. & Reis, E. (1991) 


Addressing 

Problematic Sexual 

Behaviors 


Problem Behavior: Masturbation 

� Distinguish between fiddling and 

discomfort. 

� Attitude: Be as neutral as possible! 

Emphasize the right time and place. 

� Boredom? 

� Use of private time schedules, 

lubricant, or visual cues. 

� Options for teaching of “proper 

technique”: Illustrations, social 

stories, anatomically correct dolls*, 

anatomic models, aids, or 

instructional video** (especially for 

those who become self-injurious or 

appear frustrated). 

*Teach-A-Bodies 

**Hingsburger, D. (1995) & Hingsburger 


Even More Nifty Teaching Techniques 

� Social Skills/Connecting With 

Others: Ball of Yarn 

� Puberty & Hormones: Milk, 

Dawn & Food Coloring 

� Self-Esteem: Pride Poster 

� Social Skills: Compliment & 

Conversation Circles 

� Components of Sexuality: Ice 

Cream Sundaes 


Determining The Cause of 

Sexual Misbehavior 

� Behavioral 

� Partner Selection 

� Inappropriate Courtship 

� Sexual Knowledge 

� Medical 

� Learning History 

� Sensory 


Hierarchy: Masturbation Training 

� When appropriate, work with families and/or residence to establish a visual “private 

time schedule”. 

� When appropriate, supply individual with lubricant, explaining it is for use during 

“private time”. 

� Meet with individual. Present illustrations of same sex persons masturbating, in 

conjunction with verbal explanation regarding technique. 

� Meet with individual. Use illustrations and anatomical model in conjunction with 

verbal explanation of technique. 

� Meet with individual. Use anatomically correct dolls to demonstrate appropriate 

masturbatory technique, in conjunction with verbal explanation. 

� When appropriate, supply masturbatory aids such as body pillows. magazines, 

collages of stimulating pictures, vibrating pillows, masturbation sleeves, 

masturbation pumps, or vibrators. Explain safe usage of such aids. 

� Meet with individual. Arrange for multiple viewings (when necessary) of instructional 

masturbation movies “Handmade Love”* for males, or “Fingertips”* for females. 

Viewings should occur in the individual’s bedroom or the private location where 

masturbation will be allowed to occur. Trainer may need to supply a verbal 

explanation while simultaneously viewing the tape to reinforce principles. 

� For individuals with more significant challenges, consider use of ABA type 

approach (preferably done with relatively unfamiliar trainer) to teach more 

successful masturbatory technique. Shape up steps one at a time (e.g. “Pull pants 

and underwear down”, “Lay on belly”, “Put pillow between legs”, “Rock from side to 

side”. Or “Pull pants down”, “Sit on bed”. “Put fingers around penis”, “Rub up and 

down, up and down”.) 


7

Problem Behavior: Fascinations, 

Obsessions, & Rituals (Oh My…..) 

� Staring: 3 x 3 Rule (Three - 3 Second Looks) 

� Relationships: Education re: maintaining a balance between their 

lives/former interests vs. the object of their desire is helpful. Stalking 

and/or obsessing on people can be an issue (even more than your 

average person in love or in a new relationship). 

� When They Become Maladaptive: Think: Socially Appropriate 

Alternative? 

� Difficulty With Stopping: May need to initially go cold turkey, and 

then gradually add time allowed to “feed” the interest. 

� Childhood Interests Sometimes Become Sexualized: It’s not a far 

jump from Pokemon – Anime (e.g. Naruto) – Hentai (sexually explicit 

or pornographic comics or animation). 

� “Pedophillic” Intent Or Developmental Issues Gone Awry?: Many 

individuals with ASD’s are more successful with younger peers (who 

are more accommodating/accepting of their differences). Similar 

social/emotional functioning and interests – lack of social awareness 

or understanding - sexual feelings without an appropriate outlet [can] 

= trouble. 


Thank You!!!!! 


Licensed Clinical Social Worker 

(631) 495-3810 

lemitch@optonline.net 


Problem Behavior: Touching Others 

� Determine the cause: lack of education, 

curiosity, deficits in communication or social 

skills, attention seeking or social isolation? 

� Teach about personal relationships and 

boundaries. 

� Teach “touching rules” and possible 

consequences of inappropriate touching. 

� Provide advance preparation or coaching when 

entering certain social situations. 

� Work with the team to get others to support 

teaching of appropriate touching. 

� If it becomes a chronic occurrence, or involves 

inappropriate targets (e.g. members of the 

family, young children, or individuals who are 

lower functioning) consider seeking specialized 

professional help. 


8

Curriculums 

Resource List 


2009 

A Girl’s/Boy’s Guide to Puberty And Personal Safety. (Marsh Media, 2006). A nice 

simple curriculum for kids with special needs that you can order in either a boys’ 

or girls’ version ($149.95 per curriculum-available at www.marshmedia.com), 

that comes with a teaching guide with reproducible handouts, a DVD to show 

kids, and color booklets to give each participant. It covers the basics of body 

changes and reproduction, with a good amount of attention given to touches and 

public and private. 

Circles: A Multi-media Package to Aid in the Development of Appropriate 

Social/Sexual Behavior in the Developmentally Disabled Individual. (Marilyn 

Champagne & Leslie Walker-Hirsch. (James Stanfield Publishing, (800)421-6534, 

$599.00). Includes slides, charts, sound cassettes and photos. 

Developing Personal Safety Skills in Children with Disabilities. Freda Briggs. A 

nice abuse prevention curriculum with lots of pictures and activities. Currently 

out of print, but available for $52.95 through Jessica Kinsley Publishers at 

www.jkp.com. 

Education For Adulthood. (Staten Island Mental Health Society, Inc.) A 

comprehensive curriculum addressing sexuality and transition to adulthood 

issues for individuals with developmental disabilities. Not many illustrations, but 

has some nice lesson plans. 

F.L.A.S.H. Family Life & Sexual Health: Special Education ; Secondary: A 

Curriculum for Grades 7-12. Jane Stangle & Elizabeth Reis. (Seattle-King County 

Department of Public Health, HEM Sales, 400 Yesler Way, 3 rd Floor Seattle, WA 

98104, (206) 296-4679, www.michelle.pennylegion@metrokc.gov, 1991) An 

excellent, reasonably priced (about $40.00) comprehensive curriculum with 

wonderful activities and reproducible transparencies. www.kingcounty.gov/health 

services/ health/personal/famplan/educators/FLASH.aspx 

Human Sexuality Portfolio. Victoria Livingston & Mary E. Knapp. (Planned 

Parenthood of Western Washington, 206-328-7715) Not many pictures are 

provided, but they are simply laid out on large cards. 

Life Facts: Sexuality. Nancy Cowardin. James Stansfield Publishing Co. An 

excellent (but expensive) curriculum that comes with a training manual, large 

laminated cards with lesson plans on the back of each card and slides. 

1

No-Go-Tell: Protection Curriculum For Young Children With Special Needs. 

Elisabeth J. Krents & Dale Special Atkins. (James Stanfield Co., 1991 

approximately $199.00). Large laminated pictures depicting abusive situations 

and how to report and avoid sexual abuse. 

Personal Space: A Violence Prevention Program for Women. Developed by The 

Arc of Maryland: phone (410) 974-6021, fax (410)571-9320, e-mail 

info@thearcmd.org. A great curriculum to use when doing groups for women 

with developmental disabilities that teaches about personal boundaries, 

sexuality, relationships, sexual harassment, sexual assault, and domestic 

violence. Available free-of-charge. You just need to fax or e-mail your name and 

address. 

STARS: Skills Training for Assertiveness, Relationship-Building, & Sexual 

Awareness. Susan Heighway, Susan Kidd Webster, & Marsha Shaw. (Waisman 

Center Program; 3 rd Edition, July 1992) Available for purchase from the author 

(608) 263-5996. A nice curriculum covering relationships, social interactions, 

sexual awareness, and assertiveness. Comes with a great, simple, and visual 

assessment tool called the S.A.K. (Sexual Attitudes and Knowledge Assessment). 

Talking Sex! Practical Approaches and Strategies for Working With People Who 

Have Developmental Disabilities When the Topic is Sex. Lisa T. Maurer. (Planned 

Parenthood of Tompkins County, 314 West State Street, Ithaca, New York, 

14850, (607) 273-1526, ext. 134). Great ideas for sexuality education and advice 

for the professional training disabled individuals, parents or other professionals. 

Offers reproducible overheads and handouts. 

Books for Parents 

A note: Most books are available on www.amazon.com unless otherwise 

indicated. 

I Openers: Parents Ask Questions About Sexuality and Children With 

Developmental Disabilities. Dave Hingsburger. (Family Support Institute Press, 

Vancouver, 1993) Excellent answers to commonly faced problems. 

www.parentbooks.ca/Sexuality_&_Disability.html 

Sexuality: Preparing Your Child With Special Needs-How to Develop a Plan for 

Sex Education and Sexual Abuse Prevention. (MOCSA- Metropolitan Organization 

to Counter Sexual Assault Developmental Disabilities, Resource Center on 

Sexuality, 3217 Broadway, Suite 500, Kansas City, MO 64111-2414, (816) 931- 

4527, ext 232) A nice booklet that is a good start to helping to plan for the 

services and sexuality education for parents; offered free of charge. 

2

Sexuality: Your Sons and Daughters with Intellectual Disabilities. Karin Melberg 

Schwier & Dave Hingsburger. (Paul H. Brookes Publishing Co., Baltimore, 2000) 

An excellent book for parents of children with any developmental disability. 

Books for Children & Adolescents 

Autism-Asperger’s & Sexuality: Puberty and Beyond. Jerry and Mary Newport. 

(Future Horizons, 2002) Written for adolescents and young adults with autism 

spectrum disorders, by a husband and wife (both on the spectrum themselves), 

who give advice on how to function in the social environment and get through 

this difficult period. Pretty high-level reading, but offers some interesting insights 

for both young people, as well as for parents. 

Bellybuttons Are Navels. Mark Schoen. (Prometheus Books, 1990) A nice simply, 

illustrated book for young children that teaches the names for body parts and 

the differences between boys and girls. 

Caution: Do Not Open Until Puberty!: An introduction to Sexuality for Young 

Adults With Disabilities. Rick Enright. (Devinjer House, Sparta, Ontario, 1995, 

available for purchase through Thames Valley Children’s Centre: (519) 685-8680 

or (519) 685-8703). A fun, nicely illustrated book written for young adults with 

physical disabilities. The reading level may be too advanced for some. 

www.tvcc.on.ca 

Changes In You: For Girls. Peggy C. Siegel. (Family Life Education Associates, 

1991) A great illustrated book for girls about body changes and puberty. Reading 

level may be too high for some individuals. 

Changes In You: For Boys. Peggy C. Siegel. (Family Life Education Associates, 

1991) A great illustrated book for boys about body changes and puberty. 

Reading level may be too high for some individuals. 

Changes In You & Me: A Book About Puberty Mostly For Girls. Paulette Bourgeois 

& Martin Wolfish. (Somerville House Books Ltd., Toronto, Ontario) 

Comprehensive, with lots of great pictures. May be too wordy for some 

individuals. 

Changes In You & Me: A Book About Puberty Mostly For Boys. Paulette 

Bourgeois & Martin Wolfish. (Somerville House Books Ltd., Toronto, Ontario) 

Comprehensive, with lots of great pictures. May have too many words for some 

individuals. 

3

Did The Sun Shine Before You Were Born? Sol & Judith Gordon. (Prometheus 

Books, Buffalo NY) A nice simple book about different types of families, 

intercourse, reproduction, pregnancy, childbirth and differences between boys 

and girls. 

Freaks, Geeks & Asperger Syndrome. Luke Jackson. (Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 

2002). Written to be “a user guide to adolescence” by a 13 year old English boy 

who has been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, the book offers often 

fascinating and almost always entertaining insight/advice into a myriad of 

subjects, including fixations, school, friendships, socialization, bullying and 

dating. A nice book for young people who have been diagnosed with Asperger’s, 

as well as their parents. 

Girls Are Girls And Boys Are Boys: So What’s The Difference? Sol Gordon. (Ed-U 

Press, New York) An excellent simple book about gender differences, gender 

identity, intercourse, reproduction, pregnancy, puberty, masturbation and 

relationships. 

A Good Friend: How to Make One, How to be One. Ron Herron & Val J. Peter. 

(Boys Town Press, Nebraska, 1998, 1-800-282-6657). A nice book for teens 

about friendships. A higher reading level (6-7 th grade) is required. 

How Babies Are Made. Andrew Andry & Steven Schepp. (Time Life Books, New 

York). A relatively simple illustrated book that offer explanations of reproduction 

and sexual intercourse for both animals and people. 

How Sex Works: A clear, comprehensive guide for teenagers to emotional, 

physical and sexual maturity. Elizabeth Fenwick & Richard Walker. (Dorling 

Kindersley Limited, 1994). A nicely illustrated book for teenagers about puberty, 

relationships and emotions, intercourse, contraception, pregnancy and sexual 

health. May have too much information on internal organs/reproduction, and the 

reading level may be too high for some, but overall a nice book for teens. 

It’s My Body. Lory Freeman. (Parenting Press, 1986) A nice simple book for 

younger children that teaches about different types of touches, and how to 

respond to unwanted touches. 

My Body is Mine, My Feelings Are Mine. Susan Hoke, LCSW, ACSW. 

(Childswork/Childsplay, 1995, LLC, Plainview, NY.) An excellent simply written, 

illustrated abuse prevention book teaching body ownership and strategies for 

children to use. 

4

My Body Is Private. Linda Walvoord Girard. ( Albert Whitman & Co, Niles Illinois). 

A nice simple, illustrated book that teaches about privacy, body ownership, the 

right to refuse touches and abuse prevention. 

Period: A Girl’s Guide to Menstruation. Jo Ann Gardner-Loulan, Bonnie Lopez, 

Marcia Quackenbush. Slightly dated, but comprehensive. Lots of pictures. May 

have too many words for some individuals. 

Sometimes I’m Afraid. Syliva Root Tester. (Children’s Press, 1979). A nice simply 

illustrated book about the feeling of fear. 

Sometimes I Get Angry. Jane Werner Watson, Robert E. Switzer & J. Cotter 

Hirschberg. (Golden Press, New York, 1977) A simple book for young children 

about feeling angry when limits are set. 

A Very Touching Book. Jan Hindman. (AlexAndria Associates, Baker City, OR 

(541) 523-4574: also available through Amazon.com). A great book with funny 

illustrations that educates on terminology for body parts, good, bad and secret 

touches. 

“What’s Happening To Me?”: A Guide to Puberty. Peter Mayle. A funny book with 

many illustrations. Fairly simple language, and a moderate amount of words. 

What Is a Girl? What Is a Boy?. Stephanie Waxman & Thomas Y. Crowell. (1976, 

1989) A great simple book for children describing the definitions and differences 

of male and female using real life photographs. 

What Makes Me Feel This Way?: Growing Up with Human Emotions. Eda Le 

Shan. (Macmillan Publishing, 1972). A nice book about feelings education, but 

not many pictures. May have too many words for some individuals. 

“Where Did I Come From?”: The Facts of Life Without Any Nonsense and With 

Illustrations. Peter Mayle. (Lyle Stuart Inc., Secaucus, NJ) A funny book with 

many illustrations about differences in male and female anatomy, pregnancy, 

intercourse and childbirth. Fairly simple language, and a moderate amount of 

words. 

Where Do Babies Come From? Margaret Sheffield. A fairly simple, nicely 

illustrated book that talks about difference between males and females, how 

bodies change as children grow, reproduction, pregnancy and childbirth 

Who Made Me?. Malcolm & Meryl Doney. A nice simple book about differences 

between males and females, intercourse and pregnancy, with a bit of a religious 

perspective. 

5

Your Body Belongs To You. Cornelia Spelman. (Albert Whitman & Co., Morton 

Grove, Illinois, 1997). A nice, illustrated simply written book that speaks about 

touches, body ownership and abuse prevention. 

Books for Developmentally Disabled Adults and/or Their Partners 

An Asperger Marriage. Gisela & Christopher Slater-Walker. (Jessica Kingsley 

Publishers, 2002). Written by a married couple (the husband has been diagnosed 

with Asperger’s), this book at times dwells a bit too much in the mundane details 

of the couple’s day-to-day life, but offers an interesting snapshot of their 

relationship, conflicts, and resolutions from both the husband and wife’s 

perspectives. 

Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships. Ashley Stanford. Jessica 

Kingsley Publishers, 2003). An excellent book on how to successfully navigate 

intimate relationships when involved with a person with Asperger’s. Written by a 

researcher and woman married to a man with Asperger’s, the author offers many 

anecdotal stories from her own life and the lives of others in relationships with 

individuals with the syndrome, and offers great suggestions on how to make the 

relationships work. 

An Easy Guide To Loving Carefully. Winifred Kempton, Lyn McKee & Lynne 

Stiggall. (Lynne Stiggall-Muccigrosso Associates, 1997). A nicely illustrated book 

for disabled adults or older adolescents, covering anatomy, intercourse, birth 

control, pregnancy, and reproductive health issues. 

Dating for Dummies. Dr. Joy Browne. (IDG Books Worldwide, 1997). Try to be 

forgiving of the title. This book may be especially helpful for adults who have 

High Functioning Autism or Asperger’s, who are looking to date/make 

connections with others. It covers everything from increasing self-confidence, 

improving social skills and physical appearance, interpreting lines, asking others 

out on date, breaking up, etc. 

Life and Love: Positive Strategies for Autistic Adults. Zosia Zaks. (Autism 

Asperger Publishing Co., 2006). Geared towards high-functioning adults on the 

spectrum, this book offers many nice “how to” suggestions/concrete strategies 

re: how to navigate day-to-day challenges (e.g. traveling or shopping), as well as 

dating, spectrum-non-spectrum relationships, friendships, gender issues and 

personal safety. 

The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome. Maxine C. Aston. (The National Autistic 

Society, 2001). A great book written by a woman who is a couples’ counselor 

and also married to a man with Asperger’s Syndrome, it is meant to be “a guide 

6

to living in an intimate relationship with a partner who has Asperger Syndrome”. 

Although the author does not really write much about her own personal 

experiences, she draws on research she has done, her experiences as a 

counselor, and offers some nice concrete suggestions for “neuro-typical” 

individuals who are in relationships who persons diagnosed with the disorder. 

Out of Harm’s Way: a Safety Kit for People With Disabilities Who Feel Unsafe and 

Want To Do Something About It. (The Roeher Institute, Ontario, 1-800-856- 

2207). More of a guidebook with fill-in exercises for young adults living in the 

community. 

Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger’s Syndrome. Liane Holliday Willey. 

(Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 1999). An excellent book written by a woman with 

Asperger’s Syndrome. She speaks about her experiences in childhood, 

adolescence, college, in her marriage and as a parent of 3 children, one of whom 

also has Asperger’s. At the end, she offers great suggestions for support people, 

and for person’s with Asperger’s regarding how to deal with college, work, 

organizing home life, and coping with sensory perception difficulties. 

Sex, Sexuality And the Autism Spectrum. Wendy Lawson. (Jessica Kingsley 

Publishers, 2005). A interesting book with great insights, practically for high 

functioning persons on the spectrum on sexuality and relationships. Written by a 

woman who is on the spectrum who was married for 20 years, had four children, 

and is presently in a same sex relationship, it contains appendixes with cool do- 

together couple activities such as relationship word searches and crossword 

puzzles, as well as sexual orientation and sensory profile discussion sheets. 

Resources for Parents & Professionals 

Asperger’s Syndrome And Sexuality: From Adolescence Through Adulthood. 

Isabelle Henault. (Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2006). A book which provides 

socio-sexual insights and a great review of the existing research on AS and 

sexuality. May be particularly helpful for professionals, as it provides interesting 

case studies and outlines with reproducible handouts for a series of workshops 

on sexuality which the author developed for persons with AS. 

Autism & Sexuality: A Guide For Instruction. Susan Gray, Lisa Ruble and Nancy 

Dalrymple. (Autism Society of Indiana, 1996). An excellent 25-page booklet on 

Autism and sexuality, and how to address commonly faced problems. Available 

through: Parentbooks, 201 Harbord Street, Toronto, Ontario, M5S 1H6, (800) 

209-9182 or (416) 537-8334. www.parentbookstore.com. 

Boardmaker. (Mayer-Johnson, Inc. 2003) Phone (800) 588-4548 or www.mayerjohnson.com. 

Basic Intro. Model for Windows and Macs available for $329.00. 

7

Great computer software package to use when making visual aides, or social 

stories. Only criticism is you always need the CD-Rom to access the program. 

The Boggs Center. The Elizabeth Boggs Center on Developmental Disabilities, 

UMDNJ-Robert Wood Johnson Medical School. 335 George Street, P.O. Box 2688, 

New Brunswick, NJ 08903-2688, phone (732) 235-9310. Has a loaning library for 

professionals. You just have to pay the cost of shipping materials. The library’s 

list of materials in not available on-line. You must call and ask to be sent a list. 

Comic Strip Conversations. Carol Gray. Available through Amazon.com 

James Stanfield Company, PO Box 41058, Santa Barbara, CA 93140, (800) 421- 

6534., www.stanfield.com/sexed-1.html. Top quality sexuality materials for 

individuals with developmental disabilities, that are also very expensive. 

Just Say Know! Understanding & Reducing the Risk of Sexual Victimization of 

People With Developmental Disabilities. Dave Hingsburger. (Diverse City Press, 

1995). A book for parents and professionals that teaches about the dangers of 

overprotection and offers other abuse prevention strategies. 

I Contact: Sexuality and People With Developmental Disabilities. Dave 

Hingsburger. (VIDA Publishing, Mountville Pennsylvania, 1990). Geared towards 

providing a more humanistic perspective of sexuality, primarily for professionals 

working with developmentally disabled individuals. 

Love, Sex, & Birth Control: A Guide For Parents. Winifred Kempton, Sol Gordon & 

Medora Bass. A nice booklet that discusses issues parents commonly face 

regarding sexuality as their developmentally disabled child grows into an adult. 

The New Social Story Book: Illustrated Edition. Carol Gray, September 2000 

(Available through Amazon.com). Also check out the following web cite: 

www.thegraycenter.org/Social_Stories.htm 

Sex Education: Issues For the Person With Autism. Nancy Dalrymple, Susan Gray 

& Lisa Ruble. Part of “Functional Programming For People With Autism: A 

Series:….” (Indiana University, Institute for the Study of Developmental 

Disabilities, Indiana Resource Center for Autism, 1991). Nice overview regarding 

appropriate objectives and teaching interventions to try when providing sexuality 

education for individuals with Autism. 

Sexuality and People with Intellectual Disability. Lydia Fegan, Anne Rauch, 

Wendy McCarthy. (Paul H. Brookes Publishing, 1993). A nice book for parents or 

professionals. It also has a wonderful chapter on Autism and sexuality. Out of 

print, but can be purchased used from Amazon.com. 

8

Socio-Sexual Knowledge and Attitude Test (SSKAT-R) Stimulus Picture Book. Joel 

R. Wish, Katherine F. McCombs & Barbara Edmonson. (Stoelting, Oakwood 

Centre: 620 Wheat Lane, Wood Dale Illinois, (630) 860-9700). An assessment 

tool used by professionals to test socio-sexual knowledge, and to determine 

whether a developmentally disabled individual is capable of informed consent 

regarding sexual activities. 

Taking Care of Myself: A Hygiene, Puberty, & Personal Curriculum for Young 

People With Autism. Mary Wrobel. (Future Horizons, 2003). Available for $24.95 

at www.futurehorizons-autism.com. A very good book with reproducible social 

stories and other interventions covering a variety of activities of daily living, 

puberty, body changes, and touching others. Some of the social stories are a 

little intolerant in their phrasing and attitude towards sexuality, but they can be 

adapted as appropriate. 

Videotapes 

Circles: Stop Abuse. Marklyn Champagne. James Stanfield Company 

www.stanfield.com 

Finger Tips: Teaching Women With Disabilities About Masturbation Through 

Understanding and Video. Dave Hingsburger & Sandra Haar. (Divers City Press, 

2000) An excellent (graphic) instructional video for female masturbation. 

www.diverse-city.org 

The GYN Exam Handbook: An Illustrated Guide to the Gynecological 

Examination. Maria Olivia Taylor. (James Stanfield Comp. 1991) Available for 

$299.99 at www.stanfield.com. Comes with diagrams, real-life photos and two 

video tapes, illustrating the process of the GYN exam for young women with 

developmental disabilities. 

Handmade Love: A Guide For Teaching about Male Masturbation. (Diverse City 

Press, 1995). An excellent (graphic) instructional video for male masturbation. 

www.diverse-city.org 

Janet’s Got Her Period. Judi Gray. An excellent (but expensive) video for young 

ladies with developmental disabilities that teaches menses and proper menstrual 

hygiene. (James Stanfield Company, 1991) www.stanfield.com 

Person to Person: A Video Program About the Sexuality Education of Persons 

With Developmental Disabilities. (Program Development Associates, 5620 

Business Ave Suite B, Cicero, NY 13039, 1800-543-2119). A decent video for 

9

parents and professionals that provides an introduction to sexuality and sexuality 

education for individuals with developmental disabilities. www.pdassoc.com 

Talking About Sex: A Guide for Families. Planned Parenthood: Federation of 

America, Inc., 810 7 th Ave. New York, NY, 10019. (212) 541-7800. An animated 

tape for both parents and children. It was not made for individuals with 

developmental disabilities, and might move too quickly for some children or 

adolescents. 

A note: all of the YAI tapes are excellent, but are intended to be used by the 

mental health professional who is teaching a sexuality group. 

YAI Relationship Series: Tape #1: Differences Between Strangers, 

Acquaintances, & Friends. Tape #2: Becoming Acquaintances or Friends. Tape:3 

Being a Friend. Perry Samowitz. (YAI, 460 West 34 th Street, New York, New 

York, (212) 563-7474) 

YAI Relationship Series: Tape #1: Starting a Special Relationship, Tape #2: 

Building a Relationship I Like, Tape #3: Having a Good Relationship. Perry 

Samowitz. (YAI, 460 West 34 th Street, New York, New York, (212) 563-7474) 

YAI Sexuality Series: Tape #1: Enjoying Your Sexual Life. Tape #2: Working Out 

Problems in Your Sexual Relationship, Tape #3: Sexual Acts That Are Against 

the Law. Perry Samowitz. (YAI, 460 West 34 th Street, New York, New York, (212) 

563-7474) 

Teen Sexuality. The Schlessinger Teen Health Series, Grades 7-12. A movie that 

was not made especially for adolescents with developmental disabilities, but uses 

understandable language to discuss relationships and how to deal with pressure 

to engage in sexual relationships. 

Web Cites & Other Resources 

A great web cite for pictures of any kind (e.g. real photos, drawings, icons, etc.): 

Google Image Search: www.google.com/imghp?hl=en&ie=UTF-8 

Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth Inc.: 32 W. Main Street, Bay Shore, (631) 

665-2300. www.ligaly.com 

Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) of Long Island. Plainview, 

(516) 938-8913 www.plflagli.org 

Talking Book Plus: Suffolk Cooperative Library System. 627 N. Sunrise Service 

Road, Bellport, NY 11713, (631) 286-1600-voice, (631) 286-4546-tty, 

10

www.litbl.org. A free library service for Suffolk County residents who have visual 

or physical disabilities that prevent them from being able to see, hold, or handle 

conventional print books. They provide books in Braille, with large print or on 

audiocassette, and have a variety of materials on human sexuality topics. 

Vibrating Pillows: www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/vibrating-pillows.html 

www.austin-safeplace.org: SafePlace, P.O. Box 19454, Austin TX, 78760, (512) 

356-1590. Has an extensive disability resource lending library (you can 

download a list from the internet) that is available to anyone, and free of charge. 

Patrons need only to play for shipping and handling charges. 

www.futurehorizons-autism.com: A cite devoted solely to the sale of publications 

and materials pertaining to autism spectrum disorders. 

www.groups.yahoo.com/group/AS-PEOPLE/ An adult list (over 18) for individuals 

with Asperger’s Syndrome or Autistic Spectrum Disorder that allow them to 

connect with one another. It is also open to partners, friends and family of those 

affected by the Autism Spectrum. They also talk about sexuality and intimacy 

issues as well. 

www.nichcy.org: An amazing web cite that is a conglomeration of information 

about sexuality and developmental disability. Many extensive bibliographies are 

posted on this cite as well. 

www.parentbookstore.com: A great resource for purchasing materials on 

parenting individuals with developmental disabilities. 

www.positive.org: A web site sponsored by the Coalition for Positive Sexuality 

that may be helpful for adults with developmental disabilities who have an 

approximate 6-7 th grade reading level or higher. Click on the “just say yes” link, 

go to “contents” and hit the arrow key, and you will be given links to information 

on a variety of topics: condom usage, HIV/AIDS, birth control, pregnancy, 

respect for others, homosexuality, etc. Be advised that some explanations are 

written in slang language. 

www.scn.org/people/autistics/relationships.html. Offers a 13 page article 

“Autism, Dating and Socialization”, that appears to be written by an individual 

who is on the spectrum. Some interests perspectives, but be sure to take some 

of the advice with a grain of salt. 

www.sexualhealth.com: Enter “autism” in the search block. You will be provided 

with links to many advice pages written by Melissa Bee (“Hunnybee”), a clinician 

and educator who has been diagnosed with Autism, has 2 children with Autism 

11

Spectrum Disorders, and answers commonly encountered problems with 

excellent reality based suggestions. 

www.sextalk.org: A cite by Planed Parenthood of Tompkins County, Washington. 

Has general information about sexuality education and links to other relevant 

web cites. 

www.siecus.org: cite for Sexuality Information and Education Council of the 

Untied States or www.siecus.org/pubs/biblio/bibs0009.html (for a extensive 

bibliography on sexuality and disability resource list) 

Dolls and Other Visual Aids 

Jackson Models. Educational Pelvic Models. Jim Jackson & Co., 30 Buena Vista 

Park. Cambridge, MA, 02140, (617) 864-9063 or 

www.jimjacksonanatomymodels.com 

Shadow Buddies: (888)283-3431 or www.shadowbuddies.org: These are not 

anatomically correct, but are designed to be dolls “just like me” (they have 

disabilities) for developmentally disabled children. Dolls with many disabilities are 

available. 

Teach-A-Bodies. P.O. Box 416, Grapevine, Texas, 76099-0416, (888) 228-1314 

or (817) 416-9139, fax (817) 416-9139. www.teach-a-bodies.com. Beautifully 

done anatomically correct dolls that are available in all ages and ethnicities. The 

dolls come with underwear and clothing. A family of four dolls (2 adults and 2 

children) sells for $298.00 plus shipping and handling. Sometimes, slightly 

imperfect dolls are available at a discounted rate. Anatomically correct paper 

dolls and puppets are also available for a significantly lower charge. 

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Sexuality Education - Outreach

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