CITY PAPER - PVMirror.com

PUERTO VALLARTA 

CITY PAPER 

ISSUE 179 SATURDAY 24 MARCH, 2012 FRIDAY 30 

SATURDAY 24 MARCH, 2012 FRIDAY 30

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2 

AREA: 1,300 sq. kilometers 

POPULATION: Approx. 325,000 

inhabitants 

CLIMATE: Tropical, humid, with 

an average of 300 sunny days per year. 

The temperature averages 28oC (82oF) and the rainy season extends from late 

June to early October. 

FAUNA: Nearby Sierra Vallejo 

hosts a great variety of animal species 

such as iguana, guacamaya, deer, 

raccoon, etc. 

SANCTUARIES: Bahía de 

Banderas encloses two Marine 

National Parks - Los Arcos and the 

Marieta Islands - where diving is 

Need to Know 

If you’ve been meaning to find a little information on the region, 

but never quite got around to it, we hope that the following will help. 

Look at the map in this issue, you will note that PV (as the locals call 

it) is on the west coast of Mexico, in the middle of the Bay of Banderas, 

the largest bay in this country, that includes southern part of the state 

of Nayarit to the north and the northern part of Jalisco to the south. 

Thanks to its privileged location -sheltered by the Sierra Madre 

mountains- the Bay is well protected against the hurricanes spawned 

in the Pacific. Hurricane Kenna came close on October 25, 2002, 

but actually touched down in San Blas, Nayarit, some 200 miles 

north of PV. The town sits on the same parallel as the Hawaiian 

Islands, thus the similarities in the climate of the two destinations. 

allowed under certain circumstances 

but fishing of any kind is prohibited. 

Every year, the Bay receives the visit 

of the humpback whales, dolphins and 

manta rays in the winter. During the 

summer, sea turtles, a protected species, 

arrive to its shores to lay their eggs. 

ECONOMY: Local economy is 

based mainly on tourism, construction 

and to a lesser degree, on agriculture, 

mainly tropical fruit such as mango, 

papaya, watermelon, pineapple, 

guanabana, cantaloupe and bananas. 

CURRENCY: The Mexican Peso is 

the legal currency in Mexico although 

Canadian and American dollars are 

widely accepted. 

BUSES: A system of urban buses 

with different routes. Current fare is 

$6.50 Pesos per ticket and passengers 

must purchase a new ticket every time 

they board another bus. There are no 

“transfers”. 

TAXIS: There are set rates within 

defined zones of the town. Do not enter 

a taxi without agreeing on the price with 

the driver FIRST. If you are staying in a 

hotel, you may want to check the rates 

usually posted in the lobby. Also, if you 

know which restaurant you want to go, 

do not let the driver change your mind. 

Many restaurateurs pay commissions to 

taxi drivers and you may end up paying 

more than you should, in a second-rate 

establishment! There are 2 kinds of taxi 

SATURDAY 24 MARCH, 2012 FRIDAY 30 

cabs: those at the airport and the maritime 

port are usually vans that can only be 

boarded there. They have pre-fixed rates 

per passenger. City cabs are yellow cars 

that charge by the ride, not by passenger. 

When you ask to go downtown, many 

drivers let you off at the beginning of the 

area, near Hidalgo Park. However, your 

fare covers the ENTIRE central area, so 

why walk 10 to 15 blocks to the main 

plaza, the Church or the flea market? 

Pick up a free map, and insist on your full 

value from the driver! Note the number 

of your taxi in case of any problem, or 

if you forget something in the cab. Then 

your hotel or travel rep can help you 

check it out or lodge a complaint. 

TIME ZONE: The entire State of 

Jalisco is on Central Time, as is the 

southern part of the State of Nayarit 

- from San Blas in the north through 

to the Ameca River, i.e.: San Blas, 

San Pancho, Sayulita, Punta Mita, La 

Cruz de Huanacaxtle, Bucerías, Nuevo 

Vallarta, etc.) 

TELEPHONE CALLS: Always 

check on the cost of long distance 

calls from your hotel room. Some 

establishments charge as much as U.S. 

$7.00 per minute! 

CELL PHONES: Most cellular 

phones from the U.S. and Canada may 

be programmed for local use, through 

Telcel and IUSAcell, the local carriers. 

To dial cell to cell, use the prefix 322, 

then the seven digit number of the 

person you’re calling. Omit the prefix if 

dialling a land line. 

LOCAL CUSTOMS: Tipping 

is usually 10%-15% of the bill at 

restaurants and bars. Tip bellboys, taxis, 

waiters, maids, etc. depending on the 

service. Taking a siesta is a Mexican 

tradition. Some businesses and offices 

close from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m., reopening 

until 7 p.m. or later. In restaurants, it is 

considered poor manners to present the 

check before it is requested, so when 

you’re ready to leave, ask «La cuenta, 

por favor» and your bill will be delivered 

to you. 

MONEY EXCHANGE: Although 

you may have to wait in line for a few 

minutes, remember that the banks will 

give you a higher rate of exchange than 

the exchange booths (caja de cambio). 

Better yet, if you have a «bank card», 

withdraw funds from your account back 

home. Try to avoid exchanging money at 

your hotel. Traditionally, those offer the 

worst rates. 

WHAT TO DO: Even if your allinclusive 

hotel is everything you ever 

dreamed of, you should experience at 

least a little of all that Vallarta has to 

offer - it is truly a condensed version of 

all that is Mexican and existed before 

«Planned Tourist Resorts», such as 

Cancun, Los Cabos and Ixtapa, were 

developed. Millions have been spent to 

ensure that the original “small town” 

flavor is maintained downtown, in the 

Old Town and on the South Side. 

DRINKING WATER: The false 

belief that a Mexican vacation must 

inevitably lead to an encounter with 

Moctezuma’s revenge is just that: 

false. For the 17 th year in a row, Puerto 

Vallarta’s water has been awarded 

a certification of purity for human 

consumption. It is one of only two 

cities in Mexico that can boast of such 

accomplishment. True, the quality of 

the water tested at the purification plant 

varies greatly from what comes out of 

the tap at the other end. So do be careful. 

On the other hand, most large hotels 

have their own purification equipment 

and most restaurants use purified water. 

If you want to be doubly sure, you can 

pick up purified bottled water just about 

anywhere. 

EXPORTING PETS: Canadian and 

American tourists often fall in love with 

one of the many stray dogs and cats in 

Vallarta. Many would like to bring it 

back with them, but believe that the laws 

do not allow them to do so. Wrong. If 

you would like to bring a cat or a dog 

back home, call the local animal shelter 

for more info: 293-3690. 

LOCAL SIGHTSEEING: A good 

beginning would be to take one of the City 

Tours offered by the local tour agencies. 

Before boarding, make sure you have a 

map and take note of the places you want 

to return to. Then venture off the beaten 

path. Explore a little. Go farther than the 

tour bus takes you. And don’t worry - 

this is a safe place.

Dear Madam, 

Your Comments 

letters@pvmirror.com 

I have enjoyed so much the performances 

of the Xiulta dancers that I want to express 

here my gratitude, and admiration for these 

young dancers and for Señor Professor Enrique 

Barrios y Limon. 

I am no expert in folk dancing, nor in ballet, 

but I have been to several great performances 

of folk dancing and ballet in Europe, Africa, 

Asia, the Caribbean and Latin America. The 

expertise, the artful, beautifully choreographed 

various pieces presented to us on Friday night at 

the Lazaro Cardenas Park cannot be surpassed 

even by the very good Ukrainian dancers. 

The typical Mexican folk pieces are superb, 

and we never get tired of seeing many 

times BOLERO. To top it all, these great 

performances are free. In so many places it 

costs a fortune to attend them. 

I hope that my husband, myself and my 

friends will have the pleasure to be entertained 

so royally by the Xiutla dancers for many years 

to come. We plan to return every winter for an 

extended period of time to PV, and hope that 

the Xiutla dancers will continue to be part of 

our lives here, in the best place for Canadian 

frozen turistas to come to stay away from the 

frigid temperature. 

Evita Craan, Toronto 

Dear Editor, 

The letter about bus drivers on the South 

Shore (Issue 176) caught my attention. 

It seems bus schedules have changed but 

the riding public hasn’t been informed. For 

example, the Marina Vallarta buses are only 

running every 30 minutes (according to the 

drivers) which results in the buses being so 

crowded that they bypass most stops. Waiting 

30 minutes is bad enough, but to then have a 

full bus drive by... this is ridiculous! Also, at 

the south end of the Marina route, the buses 

are going out through the small tunnel on the 

Libramiento to park / return to town (they 

aren’t picking up riders until they get back into 

town). Because of this route, several bus stops 

in the south end are bypassed and riders have to 

walk many more blocks to a parada. 

I’m sure tourists and locals would like to see 

a few more buses on this route – even if only 

during “peak” hours. 

M. M. 

Dear Editor, 

According to Anna’s column in Issue No. 177 

of the Mirror, the Department of Ecology is going 

to reforest Olas Altas. 

When I moved to the Emiliano Zapata 

neighborhood 18 years ago, same year as her, 

Calle Ignacio L. Vallarta was lined with trees 

from the bridge to Basilio Badillo. One of the 

best things about this street was the trees - they 

absorbed the traffic noise and the air pollution. 

If the Dept. of Ecology wants to reforest, how 

about I.L. Vallarta - an area abundant with cement, 

traffic and tourists? Too bad they didn’t think 

about this BEFORE the sidewalks were rebuilt. 

Such a Shame! 

Dear Editor, 

I took random pictures when we where watching 

the construction on Insurgentes. The guy in the 

white muscle shirt and the white hair is my 

husband Bill ...giving the MEN AT WORK an 

Ontario Canadian hand. Although our Spanish is 

minimal, we are all God’s children and enjoyed 

the experience. 

I did not get permission from any of the 

construction workers as I cannot speak that well 

but hey, they were MEN AT WORK! Bill bought 

the crew a beer and we continued on our way... 

Making new friends is the PV way of life. 

Warm regards, 

J. G. 

Dear Editor, 

Thank you for publishing my letter on the 

Russian Ballet in the 176 edition of the PV Mirror. 

I returned to Canada on March 3, 2012 and 

have only read said edition this week, online. 

Unfortunately, due to my oversight, the key 

word “no” was accidentally left out in the third 

Please go to next page for continuation... 


Sound Off 3

4 

Continued from previous page... 

Sound Off 

to last sentence, which should have read “At the 

completion of the performance, there were NO 

announcements thanking the company for the 

outstanding performance…” This gave a totally 

different meaning to the article and the comments 

directed to the management and administration of the 

Teatro Vallarta. As written, it gave them credit which 

they don’t deserve. I apologize for my oversight and 

giving credit where it was not deserved. 

JHS 

Ottawa Ontario 

Dear Editor... 

Apparently I’m not the only one complaining about 

barking dogs [PV Mirror Issues 174 & 177]. 

Why anyone would want a dog that barks incessantly 

is beyond me! 

Nevertheless, one or two people in the neighborhood 

seem to have rights (letting their dogs bark at all hours) 

that the rest of us don’t have (a little peace and quiet). 

There are laws to prevent excess noise from 

restaurants and bars - why is this any different? The 

Department of Ecology won’t contact the owners, the 

Police say it’s not their problem and the Tourist Office 

doesn’t care. So, what’s the answer? My neighbors 

want to poison them… or move. Neither is a good 

option. If Vallarta is really as civilized as they claim, 

get the authorities to take responsibility for solving 

this problem - QUICKLY!! 

Angry? U Betcha!! 

A tired resident 

Dear Editor, 

If people are distressed about dog barking, there 

are 3 anti-bark devices which I have tried with some 

success. I have neighbors that live closer to the dogs, 

they put them out for me, they work better. They 

register the bark and put out an inaudible noise only 

for the length of time of the actual bark. That is only 

heard by dogs, but they do not like it. 

These machines come in 50 ft., 30 ft., 20 ft., and a 

portable one you can carry, about the size of an old cell 

phone. They all work, but the use must be consistent, 

for at least a month, to fully train the dogs. They are 

not cheap, but definitely do help. If you are in reach 

of the dog, I have neighbors that used a water gun. 

Now they don’t even have to use it. They just open 

their patio door and the dogs get silent. Water will not 

hurt a dog. Often just saying “CALLATE!” (ca ya teh) 

will help, but accompany it with a clap of your hands. 

After a while, the dog will associate the clap of your 

hands with the command that it already (I guarantee) 

has heard previously. Good luck. 

Trainers use these barking devices. If it is your 

dog, there are collars that emit a very light shock, 

that can be turned down to almost nothing, just to 

get their attention. It must be kept on for at least a 

month to train the dog and must not be removed or 

it confuses the poor animal. Go online to Bark Free, 

and dog trainer products. I ordered 2 from Amazon 

and 2 from an airline purchasing magazine. 

I live here year round in Emiliano Zapata. 

Pat 

Dear Editor, 

I think it must be almost 7 years ago that I first 

heard about a young lad from England who was 

living here in Puerto Vallarta and making British 

Pies! I was one his very first customers and we 

buy even more now from him. Of course I am 

talking about Mark Hughes who is the owner of 

The Leek and Thistle Pie Company! 

We were so thrilled to be able to get real British 

Steak & Kidney pies, Cornish Pasties, etc. Now 

Mark has his Pie Shop on Hamburgo, just around 

the corner from Costco and he also has a spot at 

the wonderful Farmers’ Market at the Paradise 

Community Center - opposite Coco’s Kitchen. 

The “wares” are better than ever - with some of 

the most tasty additions. The newest is Mark’s 

“Fisherman’s Pie”! What a delicious option - when 

one doesn’t feel like cooking. Just pop one or two 

in the oven and there you have the yummiest meal. 

If you have any cravings for a Taste of Old 

England , give Mark a call 224-6670 or 322-116- 

9908 or pop into the Pie Shop or stop by on a 

Saturday morning at the Market! 

You won’t go wrong. 

H. K. 

Dear Editor, 

Wishing is Free - I wish all bars and restaurants 

and tour boats would turn their music systems to 

half. They have it so loud you can’t talk to people 

next to you. Same with the sport bars… 5 TVs, 

all on a different channel. And get rid of all the 

urinal troughs. Most people will go back to places 

with nice clean bathrooms. And stop playing the 

rap music with all the bad four-letter words in it… 

leezer8 

That’s a lot of wishful thinking, leezer! 

I hope some of your wishes come true, for 

everyone’s sake. 

The Ed. 

Please go to page 17 for continuation... 


Publisher / Editor: 

Allyna Vineberg 

avineberg@yahoo.com 

Contributors: 

Anna Reisman 

Joe Harrington 

Giselle Belanger 

Krystal Frost 

Ali Hernandez 

Harriet Murray 

Gil Gevins 

Gretchen DeWitt 

Janie Albright Blank 

Ric Lehman 

Office: 223-1128 

Graphic Designer: 

Leo Robby R. R. 

Webmaster: 

PVMirror Online Team 

This week’s cover - stylized: 

“The new Malecon” 

www.visitpuertovallarta.com 

PV Mirror es una publicación semanal. 

Certificados de licitud de título y 

contenido en tramite. 

Prohibida la reproducción 

total o parcial de su contenido, 

imágenes y/o fotografías sin previa 

autorización por escrito del editor.

July opening for PV Hilton 

The new hotel will be the first of the Hilton 

brand in Mexico to have an all-inclusive 

concept and the 259 rooms will offer luxury and 

executive Honeymoon suites with modern decor, 

luxury amenities, artwork and spectacular views 

of the mountains and Banderas Bay shared by 

Puerto Vallarta and Riviera Nayarit. It will also 

include convention and banquets facilities with 

capacity for 600 people. The project was brought 

to fruition through a franchise development 

agreement with the Santa Fe Hotel Group. 

The new hotel is built in an outstanding 

location near the Port Authority, 10 minutes from 

downtown and 10 minutes from the airport, with 

stylish avant-garde architecture and a beautiful 

design that encompasses all of the senses. 

For the 7 th year in a row, the Tateike Huichol community from San 

Andrés Cohamiata, Jalisco, is visiting Puerto Vallarta until March 31 st , 

providing visitors and locals ample opportunity to learn about their rituals 

and traditions. 

As in years past, fifty Huichol artists are featuring their artistry at Plaza 

Caracol daily, from 10 am - 8 pm. Several documentaries featuring the 

Huichol will be showcased daily from 6 - 8 pm, and traditional music 

will be performed 7 - 8 pm. Finally, unique ceremonies will take place 

on Saturday afternoons. Plaza Caracol is located on Francisco Medina 

Ascencio in the Hotel Zone. 

As part of the Festival, documentary films will be shown from 6 to 8 p.m., 

illustrating a little of the Wixárika lifestyle and its customs. 

Saturday, 24 th at 6 p.m.: Híkuri Neixa ceremony 

Saturday, 31 st at 6 p.m.: Tatei Neixa ceremony 

Daily from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m.: Exhibit and sale 

Daily from 7 to 8 p.m.: Traditional and regional music 

(Source: Nora Ocegueda – visitvallarta.com) 

This all-inclusive facility is being built by Elias 

Elias A R Architects, a world-class company 

selected by the Santa Fe Hotel Group, which 

is responsible for creating the elements of 

enjoyment, relaxation and comfort for all the 

guests. 

For Hilton, the Latin American destinations 

remain a key development factor as the brand 

expands with rapid global growth. 

Rolando Miravete, G.M. of the Hilton Puerto 

Vallarta, said the brand will provide an attractive 

product for the destination, especially in the 

group travel market from the U.S. and Canada, 

without neglecting the domestic tourism market. 

He added that this Hilton which will open in 

July, 2012, represents an investment of $40 

Million Dollars. A formal presentation of the 

hotel is scheduled for Saturday, March 24 th , to 

tour operators, tourism industry representatives, 

authorities and the press in general - one day 

before the start of the Tianguis 2012 International 

Tourism Trade Fair, to take advantage of the 

presence of tour operators, authorities and media 

who will be attending the event. 

For the opening day, the hotel already has 

bookings of groups from the U.S. and Canada, 

hence the hotel group owner has decided to bet 

heavily on group travel market, both in Mexico 

and abroad. 

Wixaritari Tateikie Festival returns to PV 


Within PV 5

6 

Within PV 

IFC Spanish classes receive rave reviews 

JANIE ALBRIGHT BLANK 

For many years one of the most popular 

offerings of the International Friendship Club 

(IFC) has been the Spanish classes offered there 

each week. These classes are unique because 

one need not sign up in advance nor do you 

need to commit to a full course. The classes 

are basically of a “drop in” nature where those 

visiting for a week, a month, or the winter can 

come to a class and bone up on their skills or 

start at the beginning if you have no previous 

background in Spanish. As a matter of fact 

my first introduction to the IFC was when a 

neighbor took me to a Spanish class there in 

2004. 

The IFC has been blessed with some talented 

teachers over the years but four years ago 

there was an opening and the IFC chose Zuri 

Aguirre, a native of Tepic, Mexico, to take on 

the Spanish program. Zuri teaches Spanish at 

the IFC and also gives private lessons. Zuri studied “Turismo” at 

Tepic in the Universidad Autonoma de Nayarit, and then obtained 

an M.A. at the Universidad de Guadalajara, in Guadalajara. While 

studying tourism, Zuri also studied English, French and Italian. In 

addition she took courses for teaching languages (methodology to 

teach foreign languages). Zuri has a lot of experience in teaching 

English, Italian, and Spanish as second languages. She used to teach 

English at the Universidad Autonoma de Nayarit. Tepic’s loss was 

by 


Puerto Vallarta’s gain when Zuri moved here with her husband, 

Riccardo Caffarella, an Italian architect working in PV. 

The classes are taught 3 days a week and are divided into levels. 

Monday is more basic with Beginning, Intermediate, and Advanced 

classes being taught, then on Tuesdays the same levels are taught 

but the lessons at each level are more advanced. Thursdays 

are practice days and the lesson takes on a more lighthearted 

approach with games and class interaction. There is also a new 

conversation group on Monday afternoons. Zuri has expanded the 

program offerings because of their popularity. It is not unusual 

for 30 students to be in a class during the high season. Classes 

were just $60 pesos for an IFC member or 

$80 pesos for a non-member this year for a 

class lasting an hour and a quarter. No text 

book is required and Zuri supplies useful 

handouts to her students. Classes are held at 

the IFC Clubhouse at the northeast corner of 

the Rio Cuale Bridge on Insurgentes above 

the HSBC Bank. For more information and 

class schedules you can contact the IFC at 

222-5466 or on their website at ifcvallarta. 

com 

Zuri says, “I love teaching. I have 

developed my own methodology in teaching 

Spanish based on my studies and experience. 

I use eclectic techniques with a humanistic 

approach that allows students to feel selfconfident 

to learn and communicate.” 

Anyone who has taken lessons with Zuri will 

tell you she is a gifted teacher and a talented 

linguist. When the IFC classes end with 

Semana Santa (Holy week) each year, many of her students go 

back to the US and Canada and have little opportunity to maintain 

their language skills. With this in mind, Zuri has developed online 

classes using Skype, “I think many of my students would like to 

continue practicing while they are not in PV.” If you have an 

interest in continuing Spanish lessons over the summer, you can 

contact Zuri for more details at: zuriblue@hotmail.com

About the “Tianguis Turistico Mexico 2012”… 

Mexico’s most important travel industry 

event, “Tianguis Turistico Mexico 2012”, is 

being held in a new region for the first time in 

37 years: Riviera Nayarit and Puerto Vallarta, 

the latter’s International Convention Center to be 

exact, which offers over 23,400 square meters of 

exhibition floor, ample space for 

the 6,000 expected participants. 

The Tianguis is jointly held by the 

two destinations from March 25 th to 

28 th , with special deals, events and 

other opportunities offered as a way 

of encouraging travel professionals 

to stay on and explore the region. 

“Tianguis Turistico Mexico” was 

originally created in order to provide 

an outlet for individuals in the tourism sector of 

the economy, to learn about and collaborate on 

a number of different tourism issues including: 

culture, luxury, adventure tourism, and business. 

For 36 years, this important travel industry 

event was held in Acapulco, but tourism officials 

decided to make it an itinerant event, celebrated in 

a different Mexican destination each year. Puerto 

Vallarta and Riviera Nayarit have teamed up under 

the slogan “Two Paradises, One Destination,” 

and promise to offer attendees an experience that 

combines the best of each. 

The first annual “ArteVida” 

fundraiser in Puerto Vallarta will 

be held Friday, March 30 th at the 

beautiful Casa Corona downtown. 

This will be a glamorous evening 

and an exciting chance to meet 

the artists and purchase great art 

by well-known artists at below 

gallery prices. 

The evening includes a delicious 

cocktail buffet catered by the very 

popular restaurant, Benitto’s, 

enticing live and silent auctions, 

music by the very talented tenor 

and guitarist, Armando Silva, and 

dancing under the stars to a great 

DJ. Complimentary valet parking 

will be available. 

A 50 percent increase in the number of buyers 

is expected for this year’s “Tianguis Turistico 

Mexico”, the country’s main tourism fair. 

The word tianguis means marketplace in the 

ancient Nahuatl language, and this event brings 

together tourism businesses, major national and 

international buyers, airlines and 

hotels for four days of meetings, 

conferences and receptions. 

At a recent press conference on 

the event, the organizers expressed 

the hope that the fair will include 

a series of activities that will make 

this edition the most successful 

in history, seeing that 30 percent 

more countries had signed up. 

Andres Hernandez Miguel Arteaga, President of 

PV ‘s Association of Hotels & Motels reported that 

during the next 14 months, no less than 47 national 

and international events will be held in Puerto 

Vallarta, among them the World Economic Forum. 

Hernández stated they hope to attain 93% 

occupancy during the 14 days before and after the 

Tianguis. The two destinations are working together 

to make the conference an ideal opportunity for 

participants to enjoy the attractions the entire 

region has to offer its visitors. 

ArteVida Fundraiser for PEACE 

Participating artists from 

Puerto Vallarta, San Miguel de 

Allende, Mexico City, Nayarit and 

Guadalajara who have donated to 

“ArteVida” include: Tomas Burkey; 

Vladimir Cora; Dra. Gabriela de 

la Vega; Mara Diaz; Steve Fischer: 

Jesse Izak; Zacarias Páez; Page 

Railsback; Gerardo Ruiz, with 

more to be added. For photos 

and descriptions of some of the 

participating artists, please visit 

http://peaceartevida.wordpress.com/ 

Other sensational auction items 

include: 

- 5 nights for two at the heavenly 

La Casa Encantada in Patzcuaro, 

www.lacasaencantada.com 


- 2 nights for two at the gorgeous 

Hacienda el Carmen, 45 minutes 

outside of Guadalajara www. 

haciendaelcarmen.mx.com 

- 2 nights for two in the beautiful 

casitas at Playa Rosa in Careyes 

www.careyes.com 

- 2 nights for two in a charming 

palapa on the beach at Hotel Lagunita 

in Yelapa www.hotellagunita.com 

- One night for 8 persons at the 

fabulous Villa Mandarinas www. 

villamandarinas.com 

- Jewelry designed by master 

goldsmith Anthony Garzino www. 

anthonygarzino.com 

- Jewelry donated by Melissa 

Suneson, owner of Daniel Espinosa 

Within PV 7 

- Half-day of fishing on Louis 

Drake’s 30-foot panga, the 

“Babalu” 

- Art donated by Vladimir Cora 

Tickets - $750. pesos p/p, on 

sale at the PEACE boutique 

in Plaza Romy (Madero & L. 

Cárdenas streets); Benitto’s 

restaurant in the Marina; Puerco 

Azul on Constitución, or from 

Carolyn Brussard-Lamb, Maria 

O’Connor, Gabriela Roman, 

Indalesio Sanchez, Fernando 

Valerio or Gretchen DeWitt. 

All profits will benefit PEACE 

education programs and spay/ 

neuter clinics in Puerto Vallarta. 

www.peacemexico.org

8 

Within PV 

About the pets… 

Sterilizations: In Cruz de 

Huanacaxtle, March 7-10 – Dogs: 33 

females, 6 males. Cats: 6 females, 4 

males. Total: 49. 

Adoptions: Friday, March 9 th , 

Angelica of AngeliCat brought in a 

cardboard box with 6 one- or twoday 

old kittens that she found in the 

trash near her home. Volunteers 

were bottle feeding them while I 

was there. I went to the Isla Cuale 

earlier in the morning for the 

beautiful orange and white tame cat 

with different colored eyes and a 

pierced ear, indicating that she was 

spayed. I took her to Plaza Caracol 

but as she was not adopted, Angela 

took the cat back to her refuge. The 

Acopio sent down dogs and puppies 

for the first time in weeks. I saw 

one pretty beige female Lab mix 

adopted and gave the young woman 

my PEACE card so she can contact 

me re spay/neuter schedule. None 

of the puppies from the Acopio are 

ever sterilized before being adopted. 

Happily, the white poodle mix 

missing an eye was adopted, as were 

two unsterilized puppies. The two 

unadopted dogs were returned to 

the pound. Angelica took 3 puppies 

to a foster home. Because of severe 

by 

GRETCHEN DeWITT 

hydration, one was taken to Dr. 

Peña and diagnosed with parvo, a 

potentially deadly virus. This is an 

extremely common occurrence for 

puppies and adult dogs who have 

spent time at the pound (Centro de 

Acopio). The other two puppies 

were also diagnosed with parvo. 

These cases are sad reminders of 

the supreme important of a mass 

sterilization program. Angelica 

also found homes for 5 cats at Plaza 

Caracol on Friday and Saturday. 

Also adopted: “Channel”, the 

rescued 4-month old Chihuahua mix 

that was in a foster home - via PV 

Animal on Facebook, “Cleo”, the 

rescued mama dog with a severely 

dislocated leg. Eleven 

of her thirteen puppies that were 

born at the Acopio died of distemper. 

Debora Trepanier in Clear Water, 

British Columbia, saw her photo and 

read her story on Facebook under 

“PV Animal” and sent for her. Cleo 

flew to Vancouver on Wednesday, 

where Debora was waiting for her. 

She is taking a month off of work in 

order to spend that time with Cleo. A 

very happy ending for Cleo. 

“Frida” and “Maya”, “Angel”’s 

last two surviving puppies, another 


Acopio rescue mama dog. From 

Melissa Floca, PEACE Board 

member, who fostered Angel and her 

6 puppies born at the Acopio: “All of 

the puppies now have homes. Wow! 

What a lesson in the importance of 

spay/neuter! And the horrible reality 

of the acopio. The whole thing was 

a tremendous amount of work and 

very expensive. Also extremely sad 

to see the 3 puppies die of distemper. 

It took almost four months, the help 

of three vets, two dog trainers, and 

many other animal lovers to take care 

of them and find them homes. Pretty 

inspiring. So glad you accidentally 

asked me to help with this.” 

Lost: Medium-size male dog 

found at the airport by Sara of 

Sayulita Animals. If you know 

this dog, please contact her at 

sayulitanmals@hotmail.com 

Need rescuing: Young male 

Beagle mix abandoned by its owner 

in colonia Aramara, where there have 

been several pet poisonings recently. 

He was on Callejon del Limon 120 

and was terrified. Contact Mayra 

Barrientos at barrientosmayra@ 

yahoo.com.mx if you see this dog 

and if you can foster or adopt him. 

Silvia Alvarez of PV Animal takes 

photos of all the dogs and cats at the 

Acopio every Tuesday, which is a 

very sad and difficult thing to do - 

293-3690. 

Adoptions every day Monday- 

Friday from 8 AM-3 PM and a few 

on Fridays at Plaza Caracol from 

11 AM-2 PM. For most current 

photos: www.facebook.com/profile. 

php?id=100002922639219 

Rescued and needs home: Oneyear 

old female Schnauzer - Contact 

sofiagnl@hotmail.com 

Clinic schedule: Mar. 28 to 31 

- Las Varas, April 4 to 7 - Semana 

Santa (Easter Week), 11 th to 14 th – 

Bucerias, 18 th to 21 st - San Pancho. 

Times are 9 AM-2 PM Wed. to Fri., 

and 9 AM-12 noon Saturday. To 

volunteer or for specific directions: 

melissa@peacemexico.org If lost 

en route, call Lalo at 044 (322) 141- 

1031. 

Special at PEACE Boutique: 

With purchases of 200 pesos or 

more, homemade gourmet dog 

food is being given away as long as 

supplies last. (322) 136-7163. 

PEACE memberships: 300 

pesos/year entitles members to 

great discounts at terrific vendor 

locations in the area of the Bay of 

Banderas. All monies raised from 

sales of memberships equally benefit 

PEACE programs in Nayarit and 

Vallarta. Memberships are sold at 

the PEACE boutique, where the 

majority of merchandise is handmade 

by local artisans. Sales benefit both 

the women´s co-op and PEACE 

programs. For a list of participating 

vendors: www.peacemexico.org/ 

members.php 

The memberships quickly pay 

for themselves with the discounts 

offered by a wide variety of vendors. 

Please help support PEACE, which 

has tax-free status in Mexico, the 

U.S. and Canada. 

In PEACE and bliss, 

gretchen@peacemexico.com 

www.gretchen-peace-and-pv. 

blogspot.com 

Member – Board of Directors – 

www.peacemexico.org

At the city dump… 

This is about Colonia Magisterio, 

a.k.a. “the garbage dump”. Since 

a few years, some streets are now 

paved, and a nice play structure has 

been added to the center. But a few 

streets are lined with shacks made of 

cardboard, rags, scraps of corrugated 

metal, broken pallets, anything that 

will offer them some semblance of 

shelter. Other “homes” are actually 

within the walls of the dump itself, 

parts of tree trunks, branches lined up 

on top to provide a roof. The residents 

sleep on the ground with the stars as 

their blanket. How much protection 

do the residents have in the event of 

rain or hurricanes? Yet that is home 

for some people. 

The dump was moved a few years 

ago. Still the refuse is piled high 

like a mountain, smelling foul from 

decay and chemicals. Trucks from 

our beautiful city of Puerto Vallarta 

come here to dump our refuse. 

Many Magisterio residents 

then wade through the material, 

sorting, trying to find articles to 

use, recycle or sell. Have we 

ever lost something, then sorted 

our garbage to try to find it? Not 

a pleasant task. And this is our 

garbage. Now do this every day, 

in everybody’s garbage... We 

were talking to a politician a few 

weeks ago. We indicated that 

we were involved in a project to 

bring food to the poor of Magisterio. 

Our question to him: what will the 

new government do to help the poor? 

His response: “if anyone is poor in 

Mexico it is because they are lazy”. I 

beg to differ, it takes a lot of courage 

to do this type of work, live like this 

and all their efforts to survive. 

It is a hand-to-mouth existence, they 

are paid a pittance for their recyclables, 

just enough to keep them going. The 

area is controlled by people who have 

the trucks and trailers to bring the 

goods to market. The workers have 

by 

LYSE & PHIL RIOUX 

no hope of breaking the cycle. After 

the sorting, the remaining garbage is 

hauled away to the new dump in El 

Colorado. 

For the 6 th consecutive year, a 

group of concerned tourists - Amigos 

de Magisterio - have organized a 

food drive to help this community. 

Over $100,000. pesos were raised. 

Club Richelieu in Ottawa, Canada, 

organized an activity to raise funds, 

a special collection was taken from 

the tourist masses at Nuestra Senora 

de la Guadalupe Church, residents 

of the two trailer parks in PV, those 

of Condos la Marina, the Bayview 

Grand and Las Moras, among others, 

and friends and families of the 

organizers were generous with their 

contributions. 

In all, we purchased: rice - 2117 kgs, 

beans - 2000 kgs, cooking oil - 1200 l., 

sugar - 1200 kgs. We packaged 1200 

bags of one item each. The bags we 

distributed to 6 schools: Kinder in 

Magisterio; Juan Barrera and Ignacio 

A. Altamirano and Los Volcanes. In 

total, 1175 children had been identified 

as recipients of our bags. The children 

look good, they appear happy and 

mostly energetic in their worn and 

stained school uniforms. Some do not 

smile even when given a gift, theirs is 

an existence of resignation. The goal 

of making the donation through the 

schools is that they offer us a more 

orderly distribution and we hope 


to encourage the children to attend 

school and perhaps eventually break 

the cycle of poverty. 

The cost of food this year is 

phenomenal. As tourists, our beer or 

wine has increased some 5%, but the 

Mexican staples are through the roof. 

Our unit bag (one piece of each) is up 

29% from last year. What are the poor 

supposed to do? Factor in that PV is 

more expensive because of the impact 

of tourism. The food banks cannot 

keep up. Charities are maxed out. 

We were very happy to again have 

a corporate sponsor - Frigorizados 

La Huerta - who donated 

many items, frozen pizzas, 

vegetables, onion rings, 

desserts and creamsicles, 

bags of candy and peanuts, 

and more. For the residents 

of Magisterio, these goodies 

coming out of a clean box were 

a far cry from finding them in 

the dump after a few days in 

this heat. 

We distributed the remaining 

bags of rice, beans, oil and 

sugar and 917 kilos of rice and 800 

kilos of beans to the shack homes. 

We were able to drive up into the 

dump and visit the worst area with 

our donations. Many tourists had also 

brought shoes, clothing, soap, hats, 

many things. What nice peaceful and 

shy people they are, so resigned to 

their fate in life... 

Like many of you who are reading 

this, we are tourists in PV. In Canada 

or the U.S., our garbage is trucked to 

a land fill and buried. Period. Not so 

here. We are happy to be on holidays 

Within PV 9 

here, enjoying the incomparable 

climate, the culture, the ambiance. 

The Mexican people have a way of 

welcoming us to their country like no 

other culture. The question is, what do 

we bring? Surely money. But only a 

segment of the city ever touches the 

tourist dollars. What about the rest of 

the population? The forgotten who so 

need our help? Let us give them more 

than our garbage, let us leave here 

having left a significant contribution. 

In this time of Lent, we are taught to 

do penance and share with the less 

fortunate. It is difficult to do penance 

in beautiful PV, but the possibilities for 

sharing are endless. Ask around, there 

are many worthwhile organizations 

here who do good work. My personal 

favorite is Caritas, the ongoing food 

bank working out of the Guadalupe 

Church basement garage. Talk about 

no-frills! 

In closing, we would like to thank 

Frigorizados La Huerta, Club Richelieu 

Ottawa-Vanier, the school directors, 

the staff at Costco, Chedraui and 

Soriana who were most competitive 

suppliers this year, Walmart who 

donated bags, all the donors and 

workers, volunteers with trucks, (we 

are 0% administration cost), Tacho’s 

trailer park for use of their palapa for 

packaging, Condos la Marina for use 

of their palapa for our meetings, and 

Father Estaban Salazar of Nuestra 

Señora de la Guadalupe Church for 

his support and encouragement. 

We will be in the area for another 

little while now that we are on 

holidays. We can be found at the choir 

10 a.m. Mass at Guadalupe Church.

10 

The 7 Arts 

Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers 

Return to PV! 

Talented singers (Paco) Todd 

Ringness and his wife (Graciela) 

Gaye Ringness are returning to 

PV this spring for two special 

performances filled with the timeless 

music of Kenny Rogers and Dolly 

Parton. The last time this couple 

performed here, they played 13 

consecutive sold-out shows on 

Vallarta’s south side. The success 

of their hit show “Dolly Would if 

Kenny Could” exceeded their own 

expectations and delighted audiences 

from around the globe, including an 

American couple who booked Paco 

by RIC LEHMAN 

Paradise Community Center 

and Graciela as Dolly and Kenny for 

two private concerts at their fabulous 

Texas estate. 

Paco and Graciela are experienced 

performers, but they first started 

performing together here in Puerto 

Vallarta when they both appeared 

on stage in a local production of 

Godspell. 

Prior to that, Paco was a sound & 

lighting technician at their church, 

and worked on Nunsense and Little 

Shop of Horrors. Graciela performed 

in Phantom of the Opry, Little Shop 

of Horrors, Nunsense and The Sassy 


Sixties. She was the worship leader 

at their church. 

After doing Godspell together, 

Paco and Graciela co-starred in 

“Bedazzled”, a Broadway musical 

revue produced by and starring 

Sharon Baughman-White and David 

White. The Whites have been an 

integral part of the music and arts 

scene in our city, and were also the 

co-directors for the inaugural run of 

“Dolly Would if Kenny Could”. 

My wife Joy and I personally 

enjoyed their show back then, 

and we were especially impressed 

with how the audience responded 

to all the great songs they sang for 

us. One after the other, Paco and 

Graciela beautifully sang these hit 

country songs that we still love to 

hear. And they even threw in some 

surprise songs, which I understand 

will be included in this reprisal. We 

are delighted they have accepted our 

invitation to return to perform again 

here in Vallarta. And we sincerely 

hope that you will get the chance 

to enjoy them live on Thursday 

& Friday, March 29 th and 30 th 

respectively, on the Paradise Stage, 

at the Paradise Community Center, 

127 Pulpito in the Zona Romantica 

on the south side of town.. 

Doors open at 6 p.m. for a 

social hour with cocktails and 

appetizers available; the shows 

start at 7 p.m. Tickets are available 

at VallartaTickets.com and at 

the Community Center. Seating 

is limited for these special 

performances, so advance tickets are 

highly recommended. 

Argentine Tango exhibition at Los Arcos 

Argentine Tango… the dance that 

fires the imagination of Buenos Aires 

nights and bodies entwined with legs 

flying in late-night milongas. That 

certain sound of the bandoneon and 

violins drifting into the street. 

At 8 o’clock in the evening of 

Friday, March 30 th at Los Arcos 

amphitheater, Jaimes Friedgen 

and Christa Rodriguez will bring 

the dance alive in a free concert 

presented by the Puerto Vallarta 

Department of Culture, Hotel Rosita, 

and Tango Centro. 

Steeped in the authentic roots of 

Argentine Tango, Jaimes and Christa 

live and thrive for the dance and the 

opportunity to share it with others as dancers and as teachers. Jaimes, 

a dancer of extraordinary accomplishment, is hailed for his beautiful 

movement and musicality. While Christa moves across the dance 

floor with a presence that is both strong and seductive. Beautiful, 

elegant, improvisational moves define their dance… a finely tuned 

partnership of balanced give and take. 

Jaimes and Christa make their home in Sweden but travel the world 

most of the year teaching and performing at major Tango festivals 

across the maps of the US and Europe. For the past two weeks, 

Puerto Vallarta tango dancers have enjoyed their presence and the 

opportunity to learn and develop from this outstanding team. 

The community is invited to join Jaimes and Christa on Friday, 

March 30, at 8 p.m. at Los Arcos for a rare treat.

21 Jump Street 

Usually comedies do much better 

with audiences than with critics. I 

suppose that’s because a critic’s job 

is to look for both good points and 

flaws and report them – meaning 

watching with a much more critical 

eye that the audience. I am happy 

to report that this movie garnished 

a pretty close reaction from all 

getting a Rotten Tomatoes rate from 

critics of 86% and from the paying 

audience 92%. These are very high 

numbers for a comedy. 

The plot: Two very young looking 

adults join the police department 

and get assigned undercover work 

at a local high school. When I read 

the plotline I thought, how many 

times do I have to watch variations 

of this story? Well that’s the point – 

the movie is a wonderful romp of a 

satire on all the flicks that preceded 

it with this theme. 

Here’s what a few of the big boys 

and girls thought: Claudia Puig 

of USA Today wrote: “It’s that rare 

comedy that’s funny throughout, 

with a hilarious story that hinges on 

by 

JOE HARRINGTON 

the unlikely pairing of Jonah Hill 

and Channing Tatum.” Next we 

have Tom Long of the Detroit News: 

“21 makes clear from the beginning 

it is gobbling up some pop culture 

refuse in the name of nothing more 

than making fun of it and having 

fun with it. This cheerfully chaotic, 

gleefully vulgar action-comedy 

retread of the old television series 

has box-office success written all 

over it, and where’s the harm? It’s 

irresistibly funny until it isn’t.” 


Andrew Lapin, NPR, said: “It was 

inevitable that one of Hollywood’s 

many recent reboots would 

eventually attain sentience. Hence 

the arrival of 21 Jump Street, a film 

that not only knows it’s a remake, 

but knows how absurd it has to be to 

succeed as a remake.” And finally 

Joe Morgenstern, Wall Street 

Journal,: “This cheerfully chaotic, 

gleefully vulgar action-comedy 

retread of the old television series 

has box-office success written all 

over it, and where’s the harm? It’s 

irresistibly funny until it isn’t.” And 

from a naysayer we have Ben Sachs 

of the Chicago Reader: “Much 

of the humor involves trotting out 

clichés from cop movies and teen 

movies, then commenting on how 

dumb they are.” What did I think? 

The world needs as much laughter 

these days as possible. This movie 

delivers that in spades. 

The audience also sent its 

message at the box office with this 

movie racking up $35 Million USD 

its first weekend. Compare that to 

John Carter at $13.5 (the movie cost 

a quarter of a billion to make) – 

meaning that at this rate Disney and 

Pixar better come up with something 

soon. Project X – a dumb teenage 

movie - took in $4 Million, which 

was a gift. 

Last Saturday was Saint Paddy’s 

day. I spent the day watching 

a few gems that I recommend 

highly. They were: The Rising of 

the Moon – its three short stories 

are introduced by Tyrone Power – 

The 7 Arts 11 

this is directed by John Ford, who 

financed the entire project in an 

attempt to kick start movie making 

in Ireland (the three stories are an 

arrest of a poiteen (whisky) maker, a 

train that makes a one-minute station 

stop that turns into a half hour and 

an Irish Republican Army soldier 

on the run in 1921. Next I watched 

The Last Hurrah starring Spencer 

Tracy as the mayor of an unnamed 

New England city that is obviously 

Boston; Shake Hands with the Devil 

starring James Cagney – this is set 

in Ireland during the turbulent period 

of the Black and Tans and how war 

can take anyone, even a surgeon, 

and turn him into a stone killer; The 

Informer with Victor McLaughlin 

who sells out his best friend for five 

pounds to the Brits and – suffering 

from massive guilt, spends the 

money in one day. This causes the 

IRA to notice him as the betrayer. 

The last movie I watched starred 

James Mason in Odd Man Out 

about a payroll robbery in Dublin 

that went wrong. He is a man on 

the run with a price on his head and 

various people, all with a variety of 

reasons, help him. It doesn’t have to 

be Saint Paddy’s Day to enjoy these 

films. 

Joe is an internationally published 

writer and documentary film maker. 

You can send him comments or 

criticism at JoeMovieMadness@ 

Yahoo.com. Artwork by Bob Crabb.

12 

Map 



Map 13

14 

The 7 Arts 

The Banderas Bay Jazz Allstars 

PV debut at Paradise Community Center 

Taking the North Bay by storm 

playing to sold out audiences in 

Nuevo Vallarta, Bucerías, La Cruz 

and San Pancho’s International 

Music Festival, The Banderas Bay 

Jazz Allstars, make their first PV 

appearance on Saturday, March 31 st 

at 7 p.m., at the picturesque PCC in 

PV’s Southside. 

The distinguished professional 

careers of these talented musicians 

include playing with such acts 

as Kilimanjaro, Tom Fogerty 

(Credence Clearwater Revival), Paul 

Butterfield, Tom Coster (Santana), 

and the Amazing Rhythm Aces, 

plus performing at some of the most 

prestigious jazz festivals in the U.S., 

Canada, Europe, and Asia. Now 

wintering in the Banderas Bay area, 

these world class musicians have 

joined forces to create amazing 

musical chemistry. 

The ALLSTARS feature Chas 

Eller on keyboards, Bryan Savage 

on alto sax & flute, Tom Lilienthal 

on electric bass, and Lazaro Poey on 

drums. The uniqueness of these four 

individuals’ musical roots, makes for 

a repertoire that covers the gamut of 

jazz, blues, and funk styles. Read their 

bios and check out their website www. 

thebanderasbayjazzallstars.com 

Tickets now on sale Tuesday 

to Sunday, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. at The 

Paradise Stage and Community 

Center, 127 Pulpito between 

Amapas and Olas Altas, www. 

paradisecommunitycenter.com, 

Concert at 7 p.m. Doors open 

5 p.m. for food and drink and 

socializing. 

Event proceeds benefit 

CompassioNet Impact, not for 

profit services and programs. 

www.4compassion.org 


A tribute to our dogs and cats 

We all love our furry friends and consider them as a part of our 

family. However there are many dogs and cats that do not have 

homes or anyone to love and care for them. 

Part of the mission of the Asociación Civil Desembocada Ranchito 

is to make sure the dogs and cats in that area are taken care of, in 

addition to their work for public health of the community. 

To help with this effort Galeria Vallarta has arranged a special Art 

exhibit of paintings of cats and dogs by the Colectivo Condensado, 

a group of students of the School of Plastic Arts of the University 

of Guadalajara who have been working since 2010 in the Puerto 

Vallarta area on a project entitled Art for the Public Health in 

coordination with The Committee for Public Health. There will be 

a silent auction of some of the paintings and part of the proceeds 

will go to the benefit of the civil association, Desembocada 

Ranchito, headed by Ana Maria Silva Rodriguez, for the benefit of 

the animals. 

The inauguration cocktail will be held on Friday, March 30, 

from 6 to 9 p.m. at Galería Vallarta, 187 Guerrero, #110 upstairs 

and will continue until April 13 th . This is an opportunity to meet 

the young young artists who have had various honors for their 

artworks, and also to arrange to have a special portrait painted of 

your own pet. 

The Colectivo Condensado has participated in several art 

exhibitions in our area including one at the Club de Golf Flamingos, 

inaugurated by Nacho Cadena, Vallarta’s promoter of culture. Lyne 

Benoit, the Canadian Consul, opened an exhibit by the young artists’ 

group on the Rio Cuale Island in January, 2012. In spite of their 

youth, the members of this group have extraordinary curriculums 

as in the case of Betina Enderle, a photographer specializing in 

documentary photography, surrealism and realism, recently 

showing at the University of Veracruz. Also Mario Gutierrez was 

a finalist for the national prize in painting “Jose Atanasio Monroy” 

and Marco Antonio Garcia Milonas is a talented sculptor who has 

participated along with the masters since the age of 14. 

The Asociación Civil has as their objectives healthy populations 

along with the development of well being and social progress 

through cooperation of the community. They have no political or 

religious ties. 

We invite you and your pets to attend this unique art show. 

Donations of pet food will be greatly appreciated by the association.

About La Leche… 

In October 2011, the first ever Travel+Leisure Gourmet 

Awards ceremony took place in Mexico City. The evening 

recognized the very best chefs 

and restaurants in Mexico 

and among the renowned 

winners were Puerto Vallarta’s 

own Chef Alfonso “Poncho” 

Cadena and his restaurant 

- La Leche - that won the 

“Best Restaurant Concept” in 

Mexico for its originality. 

At the event, Chef “Poncho” 

Cadena announced that he 

intended to launch another 

program, this time from the 

beach …in Tulum, in the State 

of Quintana Roo, not far from 

Cancun. 

From that beautiful beach, 

Poncho Hill will be preparing 

fresh dishes, all based on local 

products and ingredients. In 

each chapter, he will travel the 

area in search of the best fresh 

fish, citrus and other items 

typical of the region. 

This gifted young Chef has 

led various programs already 

on ElGourmet.com and in 

case you did not know, his 

original restaurant in Monterrey was named one of the 

Top Ten in Mexico by Quien magazine after only one year 

following its opening. 

Have you visited La Leche lately? It’s easy to reach, right 

by the entrance to the Fiesta Americana Hotel, and you’re 

sure to leave thoroughly impressed! Tel.: 293-0900. 


PV’s 6 th Annual 

Wine Fest 

continues 

Good Bites 15 

Since this past Thursday, Puerto Vallarta and Riviera Nayarit 

have been hosting the 6 th Annual Wine Fest, a fiesta which – due to 

its nature and content – has become one of the most important in 

Puerto Vallarta. 

The Wine Fest wants to thank all the tourists for their visit here 

during the high season, showing them that we do not offer only sun 

and sand, but also cultural, artistic, entertaining events as well as 

the opportunity to discover something new. 

In previous years, this gastronomical fiesta was held at the end of 

February, but its dates were moved this year to coincide with the 

Tianguis Tourism Trade Fair. 

As always, all the Wine Fest events are free, and the wine 

region featured this year is Northern Italy. Twenty restaurants are 

participating with special degustation menus and wine pairings 

(not free) starting at 6 p.m. for the duration of the festival. 

Fri. 23 rd , 8 p.m. - Dolores San Juan music and song show at Los 

Arcos Amphitheater. 

Sat. 24 th , 2:45 p.m. – “Wines of Northern Italy” Exhibit and 

Tastings: wines, cheeses, breads and cold cuts at the Convention 

Hall in Hotel Velas Vallarta in the Marina. 

Sun. 25 th , 6 p.m. to midnight – Wine Fest Grand Street Fair at 

Lazaro Cardenas Park. Shows, dancing, wines and snacks for sale 

at reduced prices, special performance by singer-composer Paco 

Padilla. 

Mon. 26 th , 11 a.m. - “Wines of Italy” conference at Hotel Friendly. 

Tues. 27 th , 6:30 p.m. – Wine & Gastronomy – demonstrations 

and cooking class, wine tastings and pairings, at Galerías Vallarta.

16 

Vallarta Voices 

by 

ANNA REISMAN 

Thank you to all who sent me emails and private messages 

on Facebook to ask if I was all right because this column wasn’t 

published last week. I’m fine. I just got squeezed out …again. 

The following is what I had handed in, plus some updates. 

Regardless of what country or city it is, the longer you live in any 

one place, the more little nooks and crannies you discover, all within 

a few blocks’ radius of your comfort zone. Unlike Mr. Buffett, I’ve 

never lived anywhere for longer than ten years, until I moved here, 

to our beloved Puerto Vallarta. This summer will mark 18 years for 

my uninterrupted love affair with this town. 

Unfortunately, because of the economic vagaries of the last few 

tourist seasons, a number of shop owners in my neck of the woods 

have had to close their doors. However, others have come to replace 

them. And because this is not “downtown”, 

none of the locales stay vacant for very long, 

nor do we have an abundance of “Se Renta” 

signs all over the place. 

I have discovered many little gems, some 

of which I’ve told you about …and some not. 

But there are also the ones that are transient, 

the ones I can’t share with you because they’re 

only there for one day of so. I’m referring to 

the pick-up trucks laden with all sorts of stuff, 

everything from colorful fresh fruit and juices, 

to equipal or beach furniture, to …beautiful 

bonsai trees of different species planted in 

volcanic rock bases. That’s what I saw recently. I parked my car 

on Venustiano Carranza (the street that comes out of the little tunnel 

on the south side of town, where those vendors always park) and 


went to look at them, even though I knew I wouldn’t buy any as 

I really don’t have room for any more plants. I didn’t even ask 

how much they cost. I just walked around the man’s truck, 

admiring the artistry and patience obviously involved in each 

and every one of his items. 

He was no longer there the following day, replaced by 

someone selling round, luscious-looking watermelons and 

mangoes. The day after, it was mamey, some intact, some cut 

in zigzagged halves to show off their luscious maturity and 

consequent yumminess (is there such a word?) 

My house guest also “discovered” a little shop on Aquiles 

Serdan next to our Israeli friend Avi’s “Pita Loca” at the corner 

of Insurgentes. That little shop sells a little bit of everything, 

including big plastic pots to replace the terracotta ones broken by my 

ever-growing plants’ roots! For me that’s a good thing as it means I 

won’t have to go out to the nursery out on Francisco Villa… 

“Spring is here, the grass has riz, I don’t know where the birdies 

is…” Yes, the vernal equinox was last Tuesday and the nights have 

been getting increasingly warmer over the last few days. Our sunsets 

have been spectacular and they’re going to become even more so as 

we near the “rainy season”. When I first moved down here, it used 

to start the third week of June, like clockwork, but over the last few 

years it has become impossible to predict the weather. I think that 

applies to our entire little blue planet… But 

I won’t go into the “climate change” topic 

today. 

All we’re going to hear about this week will 

be “The Tianguis” and matters related thereto. 

We can expect all types of special events, 

conceived to impress the travel folk from all 

over the world who will be in our little town… 

We already know about the Wine Festival, 

Restaurant Week, special shows at Lazaro 

Cardenas Park, along the Malecon and at Los 

Arcos Amphitheater, plus of course, a super 

special fireworks display on Monday, March 

26 th , scheduled to start at 8 p.m., along with a performance by the 

famous Mariachi Vargas - not to be missed, for sure. 

I just hope that by the time you read this the excavation work 

taking place all over town will have been finished. If not, it will be 

yet another blemish on the current administration’s report card – to be 

commented upon by travel VIPs from all over the world... Keep your 

fingers crossed, folks! 

The next issue of this publication is scheduled to come out the 

weekend of March 31 st – April 1 st . You know what that means… 

April Fool’s Day stuff AND that’s also when Mexico will catch up 

with the rest of North America by setting its clocks forward one hour, 

before going to bed on Saturday night (not a joke!) Then we get a 

few days’ respite before the two-week long Easter holidays and the 

accompanying madness begin. Should be interesting… 

Until then, I wish you a great week, have patience with the traffic, 

and may your Mirror always reflect a happy, healthy you. 

Hasta luego. sheis@ymail.com

Continued from page 4... Letters 

Dear Editor, 

10 Tips for losing weight 

without dieting 

by ALI HERNANDEZ 

If you don’t like the idea of dieting, you may want to try 

the following simple habits that will help you lose weight. 

1) Breakfast should always be abundant and balanced: a 

first meal that includes mostly carbohydrates and proteins 

with some fatty matter will help maintain your level of 

blood sugar stable and avoid excesses at lunchtime. 

2) “Snacking” between meals is only forbidden in diets. 

Nevertheless, nutritionists today know that it is better to 

snack on something healthy than to ignore the urge and 

risk a binge later on. 

3) Visualize yourself slimmer: If your will power 

wavers, think of yourself when you felt and were slimmer. 

Visualizing that will serve as motivation to maintain 

yourself centered on your goal and remind you that you 

can reach it because you did so before. 

4) Try to avoid distractions while you are eating. A study 

found that watching TV while you’re eating can cause 

you to consume 40% more calories than usual. Sending 

messages, texting, driving or other activity that can distract 

you while you eat, will also cause you to eat more. Always 

put your food on a dish and sit down to eat. 

5) Weigh yourself every day: If your weight increases 

various days in a row, that is a red flag sounding the alarm 

that you should eat less or exercise a little more. 

6) Eat fruit at least twice a day: Fruit contain much 

water and zero fat. They fill your plate (and your stomach), 

leaving less space of food that may fatten you. 

It is unfortunate that “D.G. of Saskatchewan” 

had a problem with unauthorized charges on his 

credit card while in Puerto Vallarta (PV Mirror 17 

Feb). As we are all aware, credit card fraud is a 

growing industry worldwide, often controlled by 

organized syndicates. Who knows how or when 

they glean their information? D.G. has made an 

unsubstantiated allegation, in a very public forum, 

not of poor service or employee rudeness, but of 

a crime. These are charges that should not be 

bandied about lightly. 

And do not worry about their carbohydrate content: 

we are talking about a good type of carbs, rich in fiber. 

7) Exercise three times a week: Doing five minutes 

of sit-ups, squats and lunges (in 30-second intervals) 

helps create and maintain muscle mass. The more you 

develop your muscles, the higher your metabolic rate 

will be and the more calories you will burn. 

8) Talk on your cell phone: If you cannot stop 

thinking of a fattening food, call a friend and refocus 

your mind as you ask him/her how things are going. 

Studies show that urges and cravings only last 5 

minutes, which you can use up while you talk …and 

they abate. 

9) Do not drink to excess: Try to limit yourself to 

one cup of wine, one light beer or one vodka with 

soda, three drinks that have 100 calories per serving. 

10) Sleep well: Go to bed 30 minutes earlier and 

get up 30 minutes later than usual. This will help you 

choose your food better. Also, if you are relaxed, it is 

less probable that you will eat because of fatigue or 

stress. 

Come visit us at Ali’s Health & Rejuvenation Spa 

so that we may show you what our treatments can do 

to help you feel and be as beautiful as you should be! 

All services at Ali’s Health & Rejuvenation Spa are 

offered by professionals familiar with the techniques, 

the products and their applications, whether you’re 

interested in a facial, massage, manicure, pedicure, 

hair removal, or any of the many services available... 

Consultations are free. For more information, or to make 

an appointment with our expert in skin treatments, Dr. 

Mario Peña Esparza (not a dermatologist), nutritionist 

Vanessa Altamirano, or with renowned plastic surgeon 

Dr. Nestor Baldizon, please give us a call. 

Ali Hernandez is one of the few certified cosmetologists 

in Puerto Vallarta. Her clinic is conveniently located on 5 

de Febrero, No. 319, right near Rizo’s. Appointments can 

be made at 224-9633 or 044 322 292-8582. 

I have been golfing at the Flamingos for many years 

and have used my credit card on numerous occasions 

to purchase rounds of golf and merchandise. I have 

never been concerned about the security of my credit 

card and will continue to use it there and the other 

fine courses in the area. 

I hope D.G.’s letter did not dissuade anyone 

from enjoying the Flamingos course and if it has, I 

recommend they reconsider. The Flamingos is truly 

a gem and should be on every golfer’s must play list. 

Thank you, 

William Smart 


Health Matters 17 

Considering 

permanent lip liner?

18 

Health Matters 

Body & Sol 

by KRYSTAL FROST 

organic-select@hotmail.com 

LIVE ENZYMES: What they are… 

and how we get them… 

Enzymes have extremely 

interesting properties that make 

them little chemical-reaction 

machines. The purpose of an enzyme 

in a cell is to allow the cell to carry 

out chemical reactions very quickly. 

These reactions allow the cell to 

build things or take things apart as 

needed. This is how a cell grows 

and reproduces. At the most basic 

level, a cell is really a little bag full 

of chemical reactions that are made 

possible by enzymes! Any action the 

body / mind takes involves enzymes. 

They are the housekeepers and 

enablers, making sure everything 

that needs to be done, is. They are 

the spark of life and become inert 

as soon as the scientist tries to mess 

with them by separation, applying 

heat, cold, etc. Sounds kinda like my 

mother… 

There are 3 types of enzymes, 

food enzymes, digestive enzymes 

and metabolic enzymes. 

Food enzymes are suppose to be in 

the food you eat, but, in the modern 

diet, or standard American diet, they 

are mostly missing, deactivated by 

processing, heat, canning, drying, 

freezing, or by merely being gassed 

with a preservative to provide 

a longer shelf life. Digestive 

enzymes are produced by the body 

to assist in digestion. Metabolic 

enzymes are produced by the body 

to repair cells, tissues and organs, 

and to generally keep the body in an 

optimal functioning condition. One 

thing that has been proven over and 

over is that in order for your body 

to digest food lacking in enzymes, 

it must call upon itself via other 

organs, to produce those enzymes 

that are missing. In this way the 

salivary glands, stomach, intestines, 

pancreas and other organs, as well 

as the cells, work overtime to supply 

the obligatory enzymes. These 

extra responsibilities cause stress in 


those organs, which leads to their 

inflammation, enlargement and 

deterioration. Without enzymes 

food will not digest properly. 

When the food does not digest 

properly, the blood becomes 

tainted with undigested matter 

that are the cause of kidney 

dysfunctions, circulation 

problems, hypertension, 

degenerative diseases, arthritis, 

general pain and inflammations, 

plus too many maladies to 

mention here. This is called 

enzyme exhaustion. 

The idea that Enzyme exhaustion 

leads to and is associated with 

aging comes from comparison 

studies which show that the salivary 

enzymes of young adults are 30 times 

stronger than the salivary enzymes 

of an older adult. This waning of 

enzyme activity in older adults leads 

to digestive and nutrient assimilation 

problems. The experts conclude 

that life and energy slowly ebbs 

away with the depletion of enzymes. 

One well known researcher, Dr. 

William Campbell Douglass, states 

“the main reason for aging… is 

the failure of enzymatic systems 

that are responsible for your body’s 

uptake and utilization of oxygen and 

nutrients.” 

So… Just the facts: 

- Enzymes are involved in all 

metabolic systems, the are the spark 

of life in each cell... and become 

inert when messed with. 

- Enzymes assist the immune 

system in neutralizing toxins in the 

blood. 

- Enzymes break food down into 

simple components which can then 

be taken up by the bloodstream and 

assimilated into the cells. 

- When raw food is eaten the 

enzymes are intact, fewer digestive 

enzymes are secreted by our 

bodies... which means less stress on 

your organs and more vitality. 

- Enzymes, paired with coenzymes, 

repair and rebuild the 

body and the brain. 

Where do you get them? 

Raw foods - eat them with each 

meal, uncooked, raw salads, sprouts, 

micro greens, fruits, soaked grains 

and seeds for snacks (soaking starts 

the enzyme process in nuts, seeds 

and grains. 

We just finished up a raw food 

class at Davanna Yoga Center where 

we touched on the importance 

of enzymes. Just for the record, 

we are NOT raw fooders, we are 

whole fooders that eat about 70% 

raw . Raw food does not have to 

be complicated, it can be as simple 

as soaking some nuts overnight, 

storing them in an airtight in the 

fridge, adding some fresh fruit and 

voila. Pure enzymes. Also... we 

always have papaya or pineapple, 

mandarines, grapefruit, whatever is 

handy and ripe, with a green drink 

of kale, broccoli leaf, or whatever 

is coming out of the gardens in the 

mornings. 

And lastly, always eat your raw 

greens with dense proteins such as 

meats, eggs, or seafood for better 

digestion and energy levels. 

My Asian medicine professor 

said, “You are born with a cup full 

of enzymes, when they are gone 

via depletion through erroneous 

food combinations and the lack of 

nutritional enzymes, your energy 

is gone. You can no longer digest 

foods therefore you receive no 

nutrition, the blood becomes toxic, 

degeneration sets in, etc...” This, he 

called the path of disease. 

There you have it. 

Krystal Frost is a long time resident 

of Puerto Vallarta. Graduate of 

University of Guadalajara, and 

specialized in cosmetic acupuncture at 

Bastyr University in Washington State. 

She is the owner of Body & Sol for over 

10 years where she practices traditional 

Chinese medicine, acupuncture, 

massage therapy, yoga, meditation and 

nutritional counseling. She has created 

healing programs for individuals, 

retreats and spas. Questions and 

comments may be directed to organicselect@hotmail.com

You know you are in a healthy 

relationship when you can be yourself 

and you accept your partner as he is. 

You do not try to change them or mold 

them into who you think they should 

be or who you need them to be. You 

don’t have that right and it is very 

controlling. The fact is, you don’t 

know who they should be either. Each 

person must determine their life path 

or the process that they need to take in 

order to discover who they are, what 

they want, and how they want to live. 

If you are with a partner that either is 

trying to change you or who you are 

trying to change, then you are not in a 

healthy relationship. 

So much potential… 

Be very careful not to invest your 

time and energy into a partner you 

think has “so much potential”. Your 

investment is on the future while 

ignoring or minimizing the present. 

What is your partner like now? What 

is the relationship like now? Do you 

and your partner have the same goals 

for the relationship? Are you hoping 

to change them or help them fulfill 

their potential? Do they want your 

help? Do they even agree with what 

you are envisioning? If somebody 

isn’t developing into their potential, 

demonstrating that they are achieving 

their goals and growing as a person, 

if they just keep promising to change 

or to do something and nothing is 

different, then you are in love with 

their potential, not who they are now. 

In a healthy relationship, you accept 

your partner unconditionally and you 

feel accepted unconditionally as well. 

That doesn’t mean that everything 

about them is perfect. Of course, 

there are things in their personality 

or behavior that could or should be 

improved, but you begin by accepting 

them. Some things are significant and 

What is a healthy 

relationship? 

by GISELLE BELANGER 

RN, LCSW 

are not going to change or the person 

is unwilling to change, so then you 

both may have to accept that you are 

not meant for each other. 

Janet Woititz explains in her book, 

“Struggle for Intimacy”, that “you 

have to be able to grow and feel 

encouraged to grow” and you should 

be encouraging the same for your 

partner. You must also grow together 

as a couple, setting mutual goals that 

you work on together. It should not 

be a power struggle to see who can 

control the other or “make” the other 

do what they want or believe is right. 

(Woititz, Janet: Struggle For Intimacy, 

Health Communications Inc, 1985, 

pg: 21). 

Intimacy 

“Intimacy” indicates closeness, 

depth, trust. It exists in a relationship 

when you can be yourself; express 

your emotions, your ideas, your 

desires. With intimacy there is 

“validation, understanding, and a 

sense of being valued intellectually, 

emotionally, and physically.” 

(Woititz, pg: 22) You need to know 

it is safe to let down your guard and 

reveal your true self. Upon doing so, 

you cannot then fear or be at risk for 

shaming, humiliation, retaliation, or 

other hurtful consequences. You must 

feel protected, valued, cherished, and 

cared for. With intimacy, there is a 

sense of security; in who you are as a 

person and in the relationship. Neither 

of you fear or doubt or wonder 

about the other’s commitment to the 

relationship. It is mutual. 

We are “one”…not 

A healthy relationship does not 

mean you have so much in common 

or think and feel the same about 

everything. “You and I are not one” 

no matter what society or certain 


religions have taught you. That isn’t 

even a healthy goal let alone possible. 

It is ridiculous. Martha Beck, PhD 

says, “If you’re living by the ‘We are 

one’ ideal it’s high time you found 

out how terrific love for two can 

be”. She encourages you to “follow 

your heart in a direction your partner 

wouldn’t go” and to “dare to explore 

your differences.” How true! (Beck, 

Martha, Ph.D. “How to Know It’s 

Real Love”, Oprah, March 15, 2002) 

Beck also lists 4 other statements 

describing a healthy relationship or 

real love, even though they seem 

contrary to what most of us grow up 

believing. 

1) “I can live without you, no 

problem” 

Even though so many love songs 

and messages in movies is that we 

can’t live without that person, the 

opposite must be true in order to 

have a healthy relationship. Beck 

says that “The emotion that fuels 

this kind of relationship isn’t love; 

it’s desperation”. It can feel romantic 

at first, but doesn’t work over time. 

Therefore, you must feel confident 

that you can live without that person 

and that your life will go on. 

2) “My love for you will definitely 

change” 

Life is full of change and people 

are always changing, so of course, a 

relationship must change over time 

as well. Love should feel different 

as a couple moves through the 

stages of a relationship. Beck says, 

“A love that is allowed to adapt 

to new circumstances is virtually 

indestructible”. She compares love to 

water, explaining that “like running 

water, changing love finds its way 

past obstacles” whereas, “freezing it 

in place makes it fragile, rigid, and all 

too likely to shatter”. 

3) “You are not everything I need”. 

So many couples believe that their 

partner should be everything to them; 

their confidant, their best friend, the 

one to go do everything with. They 

believe that something is wrong 

if their partner has other interests, 

separate groups of friends, etc. Beck 

says, “it’s like trying to get a full 

range of vitamins by eating only 

ice cream”. She explains that “each 

Health Matters 

19 

becomes exhausted by the effort to be 

all things to the other and neither can 

develop fully as an individual”. 

4) “I won’t always hold you close” 

Always holding someone close can 

be very suffocating. The tighter you 

hold on to someone, the more they 

will struggle to get away and be free. 

Think of a toddler, who will wiggle 

and jiggle to get out of your grasp and 

if he has to, he will begin got cry or 

scream until you let go. Your partner 

will do the same. Instead, you must 

allow each other the freedom to make 

their own choices, to make mistakes, 

to fall and get up again, and then be 

there for them. 

Giselle Belanger, RN, LCSW 

(psychotherapist) is available for 

appointments in person, by phone, or by 

skype webcam. Contact info: ggbelanger@ 

sbcglobal.net, Mex cell: 044 (322) 138- 

9552 or US cell: (312) 914-5203.

20 Calendar 

Solution to crossword on page 23 

Solution to Sudoku on page 23 


The Third Age 

(Tercera Edad) 

In the Spanish language, tercera 

edad is the third age, or the words 

for “senior”. Remember to say 

this if you are of this age paying 

for a movie ticket locally in order 

to receive your discount. 

For the past twelve months, I 

have observed three patterns of 

seniors or those in their third age. 

These age brackets vary from 

country to country, and I am using 

the age of 55 and older. 

- The first group is the affluent 

senior buying luxury homes and 

condos in the Million US Dollar 

plus range. These purchase prices 

are for properties formerly listed 

50%-80% higher. This moneyed 

group wants to enjoy the purchase 

and often has more than 2 homes. 

by 

HARRIET MURRAY 

These seniors enjoy traveling, and 

tend to entertain a lot and host 

frequent houseguests. They are in 

good health at this point, but will 

return to their home country for 

a certain degree of health care or 

treatment. They do not plan to give 

up stays in Mexico. These seniors 

expect the value of their Mexican 

purchase to become an asset in 

their portfolio and, in many cases, 

to remain in the estate for their 

heirs. 

- There is a contrarian group of 

expat seniors who are selling their 

villas because of a desire to avoid 

estate taxes in their home country, 

and possibly want to disburse cash 

to their heirs in advance of their 

demise. At the moment, this group 

seems to be in the minority, but 

their home prices are significant 

to affect our statistics of over 

Million-Dollar US sales prices. 

These seniors are planning in most 


cases to return to Vallarta as a 

renter and not as an owner. Some 

of these sellers have health issues 

requiring them to be in their home 

country for medical care. 

- The third group is considering 

a variation of number 1. They 

realize that to sell in this market at 

a discount will be the opportunity 

to buy at a lower price. In this 

case, they will down-size into 

a condominium and pocket 

some cash as well. There is less 

responsibility and cost (usually) 

owning a condominium as opposed 

to a large villa. This group travels 

between homes and will keep a 

condominium in Mexico. 

The sellers and buyers mentioned 

above have certain conditions or 

issues in common. 

- All have major health care 

options in their home countries. 

There is no expectation that they 

will receive these national health 

plans in Mexico. However, 

most have the option to buy 

insurance here or pay for medical 

treatment and continued care in 

Mexico. They have the option for 

traditional medical procedures 

with the private hospitals and 

physicians, as well as alternative 

care including Chinese medicine, 

natural remedies, and homeopathy 

treatments. 

Real Estate 

21 

- They have the luxury of various 

lifestyle choices. 

- Paying estate taxes is not an 

issue to some of the seniors, but 

all are aware and understand tax 

costs. 

- The Bay’s climate and 

elevation at sea level has a lot to 

do with health and psychological 

choices of these seniors. Who 

wants to be sick in a cold or rainy 

climate? Humans respond to the 

health benefits of sunshine, and 

mineral-laden sea water. Clear 

skies, frequent breezes and contact 

with nature, consciously or not, 

create strong impulses to live here 

in Vallarta and other locations in 

Nayarit and Jalisco. 

This article is based upon legal 

opinions, current practices and my 

personal experiences. I recommend 

that each potential buyer or seller 

of real estate conduct his own due 

diligence and review. 

Harriet Murray can be contacted at 

harriet@casasandvillas.com 

Photo by Jim Manson

22 

Somehow I never seem able to 

churn out a timely column. Stuff 

happens, and I don’t get around to 

writing about it till months or even 

years later. Such is the case with 

the posada which took place on 

December 17, 2011, on the street 

where I live. 

There is probably nothing 

more charming (under ordinary 

circumstances) than a Mexican 

posada, a festive block party put on 

jointly by all your neighbors, with 

music, food and balloons galore. My 

neighbors always invite me to this 

annual event, but I rarely attend, for 

reasons which will make themselves 

obvious shortly. 

But first, a disclaimer: It is not my 

intention here to cast aspersions on 

any of the following categories of 

human being: neighbors, posadagoers, 

residents of my colonia, or 

Mexicans in general. So let me 

preface what I am about to relate by 

saying this: I have made various tours 

of my neighborhood on numerous 

Saturday nights, and have rarely 

encountered extremely loud, drunken 

Gil Gevins’ Page 

A LOTTA POSADA 

by 

GIL GEVINS 

obnoxious parties taking place on the 

street - except, in front of my house! 

Returning from the beach late that 

fateful evening, Lucy and I found our 

block closed off to traffic, and were 

forced to park around the corner. 

Our eyes bleached with anxiety, we 

looked at each other and mouthed the 

dreaded word: “Posada!” 

“Maybe it won’t be so loud this 

year,” I offered hopefully. 

Then we rounded the corner 

and saw the band setting up on 

the sidewalk directly outside our 

bedroom window. The band was not 

large, but the amplifiers attached to 

their instruments were huge. 

For a while we were able to 

minimize the damage being visited 

upon our tympani by remaining at 

the back of the house, as far from 

the street as we could get, and by 

stuffing our ears with sterilized cotton 

balls. When it was time to go to bed, 

Lucy announced that she was going 

to curl up on the kitchen floor atop 

my Arnold Schwarzenegger Power 

Mat. My wife, incidentally, can sleep 

through almost anything, and has 


demonstrated this talent on various 

occasions, slumbering right through 

hurricanes, earthquakes and even 

baptisms. 

I am not so fortunate. I’m a light 

sleeper at best, don’t do well on the 

floor, and the amount of Ambien I 

would have been forced to swallow in 

order to sleep through this din would 

have left me comatose for a week. 

“You know what, honey,” I told my 

wife, “I think I’ll join the party for 

a while. You know, if you can’t lick 

‘em, join ‘em?” 

Lucy regarded me as if I were 

insane. 

It was a little after midnight when I 

made it out to the street. The posada 

had peaked, attendance-wise, but not 

noise-wise. All the kids, as well as most 

of the adults had gone home to bed. 

It was down to ten hard-core partygoers 

and the band. My immediate 

neighbors, Mario, Leonardo and 

Carlos, formed the core of the hardcore. 

A trio of dissipated fishermen, 

they lived all in a row, directly across 

the street. At the moment they were 

using the hood of my car as their bar. 

I counted five bottles. 

Mario, Leonardo and Carlos 

greeted my arrival with incoherent 

but seemingly friendly shouts. In their 

advanced state of alcohol-poisoning 

they’d apparently forgotten that we 

were not currently on speaking terms. 

I’d come armed with a police 

whistle and a bottle of Raicilla (the 

world’s most vicious moonshine). 

The moonshine was not for me to 

consume - my internist had forbidden 

that years ago--but to share with my 

raucous neighbors and the band, in 

the hopes that its consumption would 

nudge them into unconsciousness 

sooner rather than later. Pretending 

to take a slug of the Drano-like liquid 

myself (burning my lips, soft palette 

and tongue in the process) I passed the 

bottle round to my thirsty neighbors. 

The Raicilla seemed to have no 

additional debilitating effect on Mario, 

Leonardo and Carlos, who, for the 

past several years, had been making 

of my Saturday nights a living hell. 

On the other hand, the Raicilla was 

definitely confusing the band, whose 

four members were now playing what 

sounded like four different songs. 

The bewildered band’s weird music 

seemed to touch a reptilian nerve in 

the posada-goers, who began to argue 

intensely over whose request was 

being played and whose was being 

passed over. 

The argument grew increasingly 

heated, devolving into a pushing 

and shoving match. I stood on the 

sidelines, downing my fourth beer, 

and toasting the spirit of Christmas. 

The shoving match soon degenerated 

into an amorphous ineffectual brawl, 

with everyone swinging and missing 

at everyone else, like a Wrestlemania 

Free-For-All on Quaaludes. 

But where was the referee? 

Removing the whistle from my 

pocket, I decided to bring a little order 

to the chaos. 

“You’re disqualified!” I shouted at 

Mario, blowing the whistle as hard as 

I could into his left ear. 

Mario was momentarily stunned 

by the force of the whistle. But he 

recovered quickly, making a loud 

and not entirely complimentary 

reference to my mother. For a 

moment I seriously considered 

pouring the rest of the Raicilla over 

his head and setting him on fire. But 

I was prevented from making this 

humanitarian gesture by Carlos, who 

jumped onto Mario’s back and began 

to ride his neighbor around the block 

like a deformed burro. 

Then the police showed up in a 

shiny white pick-up. Apparently, 

someone had complained about the 

noise - I don’t know why; the whole 

neighborhood must have been deaf by 

now. The policemen told the band to 

turn down the volume. It was, after 

all, three in the morning. The band 

ignored them, and the police left, but 

not until they’d each grabbed a beer 

off the hood of my car. 

Gil Gevins is the author of the hilarious 

new novel, SLIME AND PUNISHMENT. 

Signed copies of all Gil’s books, including 

the classic, PUERTO VALLARTA ON 

49 BRAIN CELLS A DAY, are available 

at his wife’s wonderful folk-art shop, 

LUCY’S CUCU CABAÑA, located at 295 

Basilio Badillo.

The New York Times Tuesday Crossword Puzzle 

SUDOKU! 

Sudoku is a logic-based placement puzzle. 

The aim of the puzzle is to enter a numerical digit from 1 through 9 in each 

row, column and group of squares enclosed by the bold lines (also called a 

box). Each box must contain each number only once, starting with various 

digits given in some cells (the “givens”). Each row, column, and region must 

contain only one instance of each numeral. 

Completing the puzzle requires patience. 

It is recommended as therapy because some studies have suggested they 

might improve memory, attention and problem solving while staving off 

mental decline and perhaps reducing the risk of Alzheimer’s disease. 


Brain Teasers 23 

Solution to Crossword on Page 20 

Solution to Sudoku on Page 20

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