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A Guy WAlKs iNto
A BAr..............
guy walks into a bar after a long day at
A work and orders a drink. After his first
sip, he hears a high pitched voice.
“ Hey Mister! Nice Pants!” It says.
He looks around, doesn’t see anyone, and
quickly shrugs it off. After a little bit he takes
another sip and hears the voice again.
“Hey Mister! Sweet Shoes!”
Again, he looks around, sees nothing but
a bartender who is busy attending to customers.
Shaking his head, he sips once
more.
“Hey Mister! Cool Shirt!”
He puts down his drink, frustrated at this
phantom voice, and signals to the bartender
who comes over.
“Hey Barkeep” he says, “what is that high
pitched voice I keep hearing”
“Oh these are the peanuts” he replies. “Their
Complimentary.”
jumper cable walks into a bar. The
A bartender says “I’ll serve you but don’t
start anything”
* * *
guy walks into a bar with a slab of as-
A phalt under his arm and says “A beer
please and one for the road.”
* * *
brain goes into a bar and the bartender
A says “Sorry I can’t serve you, you’re out
of your head.”
* * *
Gorilla walks into a bar and says “ A
A Scotch on the rocks please. ” The Gorilla
hands the bartender a ten dollar bill.
The bartender thinks
to himself “This Gorilla
doesn’t know
the prices of drinks, ”
and gives him fifteen
cents change. The
bartender says, “You
know we don’t get
too many Gorillas in
here.” The Gorilla replies
“Well at 9.85 a
drink, I ain’t coming
back either.”
* * *
bear goes into
A a pub and says,
“Can I have a pint of
……………………
…………....................
.....Guinness, please.”
The barman says,
“Sure but why the
big pause?”
* * *
baseball walks
A into a bar, and
the bartender throws
him out.
The DICTIonary oF DrInk.
a gUIDe To every TyPe oF Beverage.
sutton Publishing. 1456 pages
graham and susan edwards.
This massive undertaking
by the writers has culminated
in a wonderful reference book
on the world of drink, both alcoholic
and non-alcoholic.
With over 57,000 entries
it is a fascinating A-Z
guide to the world of refreshment.
Everything from
beer, wine and cocktails to associations and societies
are to be found within the 1400 plus pages.
A must for those who ‘thirst’ for knowledge.
Available at Chapters.
PaGES & PInTS - BooK REvIEw
CheerS! an InTeMPeraTe hISTory
oF Beer In CanaDa.
Published byharper collins. 319 pages
author, nicholas Pashley.
Author Nicholas Pashley
has a way with words, especially
when his sentences
are peppered with the word
beer. Nick loves the world of
beer, it fills him with wonder
and amusement and thankfully
he shares that world with
us. He also writes as if he has
just pulled up a barstool next
to you and engaged you in
a wonderful story about his
long time love affair with the
amber nectar.
The PUB • Spring-Summer 2010
The blurred mountie is another
aspect of Pashley’s humour
His chapters meander through our long relationship
with beer in Canada from the very beginning when
European settlers first introduced it to our dry shores
to modern day rivalries between the big breweries. He
tells us fascinating tales of his travels and his wry take
on the evolving changes of the beer drinker. His chapters
have wonderful titles such as ‘ Barkeep! Gimme Another
Light Dry Low Carb Ice Beer with No Aftertaste!
and another classic ‘Wouldn’t a Dow Go Good Now ?
When Beer Kills’ a chapter relating to sixteen people
who died in Quebec in the 1960’s from drinking that
brand. From Beer festivals to Beer Geeks, from St. John’s
to Stubbies, let Mr. Pashley take you by the hand and
lead you on a journey across our great nation and you
will look at the history of beer in Canada in a totally
new perspective and enlightenment.
Available at most bookstores and Wal-Mart.
www.pubmagazine.ca
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