CUk-Zx

out of new Zealand during my free time on nights and weekends.
I sold that. Then I started looking for more to do.
All those things are good things. I'm proud of them! But
at some point you need to be able to sit back, relax, do less,
and be completely content with yourself because if you don't,
you'll burn out since that's too much pressure for anyone to
place on themselves. It took me nearly twenty years to realize
that I was doing these things because of the imperceptible
influence of the ongoing grief associated with my mom's
death. I was trying to live a meaningful life since my mom's
life was cut short, and I wasn't going to die without making
mine remarkable. I've felt that way since I was ten years old
but couldn't really put it into words until now.
Interminable - pretty much everyone on this thread has
said it, including myself, but I'll say it again. The grief will
not go away entirely. It will become much more manageable
with time and with effort. expect that the grief will disappear
and reappear throughout your life. That's the natural state of
things. People are meant to form close bonds with one another
and have loving relationships. We're built for it whether
you want to call it a divine gift or biological evolution. So
along with love, you should expect grief. It's a part of the human
condition.
For me, I've gone through two distinct periods of intense
grieving at the loss of my mom. The first period took place
when I was ten to twelve years old. The change it created
made my life better. I grew closer with my older brothers, and
today they are my best friends, I succeeded in school, sports,
and having a social life and that led me to loving my time in
high school and college. I've been very fortunate with my career
at this point having worked for a handful of great companies.
I've been able to travel and do some epic things like run
a marathon in Florence, Italy and a fifty mile ultra marathon
most recently.
About a year ago, I entered the second stage of grieving
(and it wasn't easy!) but I approached it aggressively and constructively
and it's already starting to produce returns. I'm
now living in my own place and more comfortable being by
myself than I've ever been. I'm developing a more grounded
approach to life in that I don't feel as pressured to always be
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