Tuko Pamoja: A Guide for Peer Educators (entire - Path

10. What is love?
Objectives
By the end of this session, group members will be able to:
• Explain the difference between love and attraction.
• Name qualities they would want in a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Background notes
Love is a feeling that can be hard to explain and can mean different things to
different people. To most people, love means a deep feeling of liking, attraction,
respect, caring, and understanding for another person, even with their weaknesses.
It is important to remember that sexual intercourse is not necessarily a way to show you love
someone. Having sex does not mean that two people are in love or will fall in love. Remember,
love is about respect and caring for each other. Love is never a good reason to do anything that
puts your health and future at risk.
Good friendships and relationships help people feel good about themselves. Good friends help with
problems and share dreams for the future. Good friends can be people of the same sex or people
of the opposite sex. Boys and girls, men and women, can be good friends without having a sexual
relationship. The words “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” do not necessarily mean that the relationship is
a sexual one. Two people can have a close and loving relationship without sex.
Getting along with the opposite sex can be difficult and confusing because many men and women
are not sure what the other wants in a relationship. Remember, most people want the same thing
in a relationship. They want respect, trust, honesty, understanding, and caring. Building a good
relationship takes time and patience. Sex is not a good way to build a close
relationship. Having sex does not mean that two people love each other or
that they are close. Sex without true friendship is dangerous for a person’s
health and heart.
Two people can spend time together and become very close without
having sex. By talking and sharing experiences, they can learn important
things about each other. They can learn how each views life, how they
would make decisions together, what kind of partner and parent each
person would make, and how each feels about the other’s plans for life.
Touching each other (without sexual intercourse) can be satisfying by
itself and is not dangerous as long as it does not lead a person to lose control
and to have sex before he or she is ready.
It can take a long time to develop a good relationship, but one of the most
important things in a relationship is good communication. In order to