2008 Annual Report - Domestic Violence Coordinating Council

From a Survivor’S PerSPective
The vision of one establishment, one location, one
haven where the victims of domestic violence
could accomplish the multitude of tasks necessary
in order to achieve safety and peace is a vision of
paradise in my eyes. Paradise may seem like an ill
fitting analogy for such a circumstance, but for me,
it would have been an oasis in the midst of a desert
of hopelessness.
The trauma that resulted from the physical and
emotional abuse often left me in a state of confusion
and indecision. My thought processes were affected
and daily life seemed overwhelming. When I finally
realized the severity of the danger my son and I
were in, I tried to get out; I wanted to get out. My
son’s father had tried to kill me, almost succeeded,
and was threatening to do the same to our child.
It was a difficult process that occurred over a long
period of time and during that time the abuse
continued. Summoning the mental and physical
strength to visit with one department after another
was a difficult and discouraging task. Many of these
places were often downright scary and depressing.
They reinforced the toxic notion that I was a bad
person who did something terribly wrong. On several
occasions, I immediately turned around and walked
out after entering such an institution. I needed to feel
safe and secure. I needed to feel empowered rather
than discouraged.
I wound up having to leave and moved halfway
across the country in order to avoid becoming yet
another domestic homicide statistic. Two months
ago, I found myself back in the same boat when my
ex was released from prison and promptly tracked us
down. I was in full panic mode and it was difficult for
me to even think straight so I reached out for help.
The desire to flee was strong, but I did not want to
uproot my son again. I began making phone calls
while we stayed in a hotel. There was so much to
do and it was confusing and overwhelming. I visited
with Heartland Family Services, the YWCA, officials
at my son’s school including the deputy assigned
there, met with several attorneys, and attended
DVCC 2008 Annual Report - 6
Fa m i ly
Ju s T iC e Ce n T e r
a few counseling sessions. These things took place
over the period of a few weeks and it was mentally
and physically exhausting. I almost gave in and just
packed up and moved because I did not want to
go through this again.
in 2008, there were 761 children
present at domestic violence
incidents investigated by the
omaha Police Department...
I have seen my own helplessness reflected in the
eyes of those who are there to assist as they provide
long lists of people and agencies that need to be
contacted. Due to the constant state of anxiety and
hyper vigilance, I barely had the strength to lift a
forkful of food to my mouth no less drive around the
city to various facilities on an almost daily basis. They
know as well as I do that the process is a daunting
one, but there is no other option. When I envision
one building where so much can be accomplished,
a building that is welcoming rather than intimidating,
it brings tears to my eyes. When you consider the
fact that so many victims are trying to overcome
the trauma, deal with fear, anxiety, and shame and
take care of children while holding down a job, an
establishment such as a Family Justice Center can
make all the difference in the world. The trauma and
the pain cannot be erased, but a welcoming road
to safety and recovery can be built.
Sincerely,
Linda - A Survivor
in 2009 in Douglas county Nebraska,
there will be a Family Justice center
for victims to become survivors
like Linda...