Second Friend Day - Elmer Towns

Elmer Towns 

Larry Gilbert 

Contributing Editor: Sharon Anthony 

Design and Graphics: Carolyn Reichard 

All Scripture quotations are from the King James Version of the Bible. 

Copyright © 1989 has been reverted back to author. 

First Printing, March 1989 

ISBN 0-941005-15-1 

Permission to make photocopies or to reproduce by any other mechanical or 

electronic means in whole or in part of any designated page, illustration or activity is 

granted and is intended for noncommercial use only by your church organization and 

must not be sold or reproduced for any commercial promotion or advertising for any 

reason.

INTRODUCTION 

Overview of Second Friend Day 

PLANNING 

LESSONS 

Preparing for Second Friend Day 

Friend Day Activities 

Follow-up Activities 

Master Calendar 

Implementation Materials 

CONTENTS 

Suggested Agenda for Meeting With Church Leaders 

Sample Press Release 

Bible Verses and Quotes on Friendship 

Visitor Follow-up and Tracing Form 

Suggested Friendship Packet Items 

Member Guidelines for Post-Friend Day Visits 

Sample Letters 

How To Use the Adult/Teen Lessons 

Lesson 1 - Stairstepping Your Friends to Christ 

Lesson 2 - Right Attitudes for Stairstepping Your Friends to Christ. 

Lesson 3 - Effective Stairstepping Methods 

Lesson 4 - How To Invite Your Friends to Church 

How To Use the Children's Lessons 

Lesson 1 - A Friend Loves at All Times 

Lesson 2 - A Friend Protects You

Lesson 3 - Andrew Brings Peter to Jesus 

Lesson 4 - Cornelius Brings His Family and Friends To Hear Peter 

Lesson 5 - Jesus Died for Us 

Sermon Outlines 

PROMOTION 

How To Use the Sermon Outlines 

The promotion samples are included to give you an idea of what 

promotional materials would be beneficial to your individual need. However, if 

you would like printer ready copies of these materials you may contact Church 

Growth Institute. The materials are available through them. Please call 1-800- 

553-GROW to order the materials. The Sample Promotional Packet includes 2 

bulletin shells, 2 Posters (Friendly Freddie and Friendly Church), 1 

bumper/window sticker, 1 Friendly contract, 1 thank-you postcard, 1 prayer 

bookmark, 1 name tag, 1 order form. Product Code: 501K Price: $49.95 

ISBN: 1-57052-100-X Other materials may be available at the time you order. 

Lapel pins are also available. Product Code: 501L Price: 25-49=$0.90; 

50-99=$0.85; 100+=$0.80 

Printing Samples 

Color poster 

Black-and-white poster 

“Who are my Friends?” handout 

“Will Your Friend Be Missing?” Bulletin stuffer 

“We have a place for you” Bulletin stuffer 

Postcard 

Name tag 

Visitor card 

“Yes” card 

Thank-you card 

Memo pad 

Letterhead

TAPES 

No. 10 envelope 

Bookmark 

6 ¾ envelope 

Offering envelope 

Friendship packet cover 

Three audiocassette tapes are offered with this campaign and can be purchased by 

calling: 1-804-582-2169. Cost per set is $6.00 plus $4.00 S+H. 

APPENDIXES 

Appendix 1 - Pointers on Using Friend Day 

Appendix 2 - Successful Ideas From Churches 

Appendix 3 - Coloring Book 

Cassettes to accompany this resource can be purchased by calling 1- 

804-582-2169, Fax 1-804-582-2575 or emailing eltowns@liberty.edu. 

Tapes are $2.00 each plus $4.00 S+H. (3 TAPES ARE 

AVAILABLE).

OVERVIEW OF SECOND FRIEND DAY 

The Second Friend Day is an attendance campaign with a difference. Its aim is 

not just to give your church a high record of attendance on one day (which it will 

probably do), but includes a follow-up campaign designed to bring visitors back until 

they make a decision. The campaign takes nine weeks--three weeks of planning by the 

pastor and the church leaders, five weeks of involvement by the members, and one week 

of follow-up by everyone. 

The purpose of the campaign is to help churches carry out the Great Commission 

given in Matthew 28:19-20. This purpose is achieved by involving members in reaching 

out to their friends in an organized manner. The church as a team can then lead the 

friends to Christ. 

The church prepares for Friend Day by mobilizing its leaders and members to 

invite unsaved or unchurched friends, praying for the success of the campaign, and 

preparing the church and its property (for example, cleaning, decorating, setting up extra 

chairs, acquiring additional parking spaces, or scheduling a bus service). 

During the five-week period leading up to Friend Day, lessons on reaching one's 

friends for Christ are taught in the Sunday School, and the pastor may also preach 

messages on the nature of Christian friendship. On Friend Day, everyone brings their 

friend and the pastor preaches a salvation message on how one can become a friend of 

God. 

Before the worship service, the friends are welcomed into the Sunday School and 

church, and each is requested to fill out a visitor card. This card is the basis for the most 

important part of the Friend Day campaign—the follow-up. The intensive follow-up is 

geared toward encouraging the visitors to make return visits to the church, thus increasing 

the church's opportunities to present the Gospel. As a result, some of the friends may 

profess faith in Christ and decide to become faithful members of the church. 

Friend Day has been used by thousands of churches with great success. Church 

Growth Institute guarantees that the program will be successful at your church, too, if the 

instructions are followed closely. May God bless your efforts to bring in a harvest of 

souls and help populate heaven.

PREPARING FOR FRIEND DAY 

This program is titled The Second Friend Day because many pastors who had a 

first Friend Day commented, “I can’t wait to have a second Friend Day.” However, we 

realize that in many cases it really won’t be your second Friend Day, but your third, 

fourth, or even fifth. Therefore, we recommend that you do not use the name of the 

resource packet, but simply call your special day, Friend Day. For that reason, we have 

dropped the words The second from the title, except where we are making direct 

reference to the resource packet itself 

The Second Friend Day is an attendance campaign designed to spur the growth of 

the church. It is intended to be implemented primarily through the worship service with 

support from the evening and mid-week services and the Sunday School. This method is 

recommended because attendance is generally higher in the worship services and because 

the Sunday School has structure and will give a greater opportunity for the church to 

gather the information required for follow-up. This section will show you how to involve 

the Superintendent and teachers in planning and then folding all the church members into 

the campaign effort. 

The schedule of activities below is based upon a nine-week campaign. However, 

only five weeks of the campaign will be in the public eye. The first three weeks require 

the involvement of the church leaders only. As soon as a date for Friend Day is chosen, 

write in dates for all the other weeks in this planning guide and on the planning calendar. 

This will eliminate the confusion that would be caused by referring to them by number as 

we have done here. 

� Check each item as it is completed. 

WEEK ONE DATE___________________ 

Monday 

� Call a special meeting of the church’s top leaders, including the Sunday School 

Superintendent and teachers. Ask for their support and explain how you wish each to 

be involved. (See meeting agenda among the implementation materials at the end of 

this section). 

Tuesday 

� Select all the items from the promotional section that must be printed and take them 

to the printer. 

� If the full-size color poster, textbook, gift book and coloring book by Church Growth 

Institute will be used, decide how many are needed and print them. 

Thursday

� Complete the planning with the church leaders. Plan everything that will be done as 

part of your Friend Day campaign. 

WEEK TWO DATE______________ 

During the week 

� The pastor should choose a well-known person in the town (bank president, mayor, 

chief of police, sheriff, owner/manager of a large plant or business, school principal, 

etc.) as his friend. (Invite several friends in case one is unable to attend.) 

� Request this person to send a letter saying he or she will come to Friend Day as the 

pastor’s friend. Offer to write the letter if they will sign it. (See sample letter at the 

end of this section.) The letter must be received by the end of Week 3. 

WEEK THREE DATE_______________ 


� Pick up printing from printer. 

� The pastor should contact the Deacons and other leaders and give them a supply of 

“Yes” cards. Tell them that they will need to show these cards to the congregation 

the fifth week. 

Friday or Saturday 

� The Superintendent should meet with the teachers and hand out the books, lessons, 

“Yes” cards and other materials they will need (see implementation materials at the 

end of this section). 

� He should inform the teachers that they should have their completed “Yes” cards 

ready to show on the fifth Sunday of the campaign. 

WEEK FOUR DATE_____________ 

Sunday 

Sunday School 

� Announce Friend Day campaign. Note that friends will be the topic for the next 

month’s lessons. 

� Hand out How To Reach Your Friends for Christ in the teen and adult classes and ask 

students to read the Introduction and Chapter 1 and be prepared to discuss them in 

next Sunday’s class. 

Worship service 

� Have ushers distribute Friend Day bookmark (or stuff it in the bulletin). 

� Announce Friend Day and its date to the congregation. Explain the purpose. 

Encourage everyone to bring an unsaved or unchurched friend, not for the sake of just 

bringing someone, but out of genuine concern for that person’s spiritual well being. 

� The pastor should read his letter(s). 

� Announce that a special offering will be collected on the Sunday following Friend 

Day to cover the cost of the campaign. (These costs include the resource packet, 

printing, postage for mailings to members and friends, lapel pins, posters,

decorations, food, donation to guest singers, if any, transportation, and other expenses 

the church might incur.) 

� Have special prayer for Friend Day. Have several minutes of congregational prayer 

closed by one of the deacons. Repeat this for the next three weeks, changing deacons 

each week. 

NOTE: Prayer is one of the most essential ingredients to a 

successful campaign. Jesus said to pray to “the Lord of the harvest” (Luke 

10:2), and in another place He said, “If ye abide in me, and my words 

abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. 

Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit” (John 15:7,8a). 

� Announce that posters are available and will be handed out after the service. Ask the 

members (or the publicity committee, if one has been created) to place the posters on 

community bulletin boards in supermarkets and other places of business. A smaller 

version may even be run in the newspaper during the weeks leading up to Friend 

Day. 

Midweek service 

� Have special prayer for Friend Day. 


� Assign someone to prepare a bulletin board where letters of commitment and “Yes” 

cards may be displayed. Place the pastor’s letter on the board. 

� Assign someone to place Friend Day posters in the church. 

� Assign someone to send an announcement to the news media (newspapers, radio and 

television stations). (See sample press release at the end of this section.) 

NOTE: Though the intent of Friend Day is for members to 

personally invite their friends, announcing the event in the media could 

remind members to ask their friends, and it could remind the friends that 

they have made a commitment to attend. In addition, the announcement 

adds excitement and makes the community aware of the church’s 

commitment to it. 

WEEK FIVE DATE_____________ 

Sunday 

Sunday School 

� During opening, have Sunday School teachers show their “Yes” cards 

� Hand out “Yes” cards and the “Who Are My Friends?” memory jogger form. 

Explain them (see pastor’s explanation under Worship Service) and allow pupils time 

to fill in names on the form. 

� Teach Lesson 1. 

� Assign Chapter 2 of How To Reach Your Friends for Christ as reading for next week. 

Worship Service 

� Use Friend Day bulletin.

� Hand out “Who Are My Friends?” forms and “Yes” cards. (They both may be 

stuffed in the bulletin or “Who Are My Friends?” may be printed on the back of the 

bulletin.) 

� Deacons and other leaders show their “Yes” cards. 

� Pastor explains that the purpose of the “Who Are My Friends?” form is to help 

members think of people they have relationships with that they can invite to Friend 

Day. Take time in the service to go over the suggested lists. Have members fill in 

names, and ask for their commitment to pray for and invite acquaintances to attend of 

Friend Day. 

� Pastor explains that the purpose of the “Yes” card is to get friends to commit to 

attending service on Friend Day. Members should fill out top and bottom of card, 

tear off the bottom portion and give it to their friend as a reminder, and bring the top 

halfback to be placed on the church bulletin board. 

NOTE: Do not worry that those who attended Sunday School will 

hear the explanations twice. It will serve as reinforcement. 


� If you have elected to use the booklet Friends, hand it out now. It contains the outline 

and text for today’s and the next four week’s messages. If you do not want the 

congregation to read the messages before you preach them, show them a copy of the 

booklet and tell them you will give everyone who attends on Friend Day a copy. 

NOTE: The booklet has no author or publisher’s name printed on 

it. Be sure to stamp your church’s name on the reverse side. If the pastor 

stresses the importance of this series of messages (they will be practical 

and will deal with everyday relationships), the members will want to 

receive a printed copy of the booklet, as well as hear the messages. 

� Pastor preaches first sermon on being a friend (Why Christians Should Have Friends). 

The content is printed in the booklet Friends. 

After Morning Service 

� Place “Yes” cards on main bulletin board. 

Midweek Service 


During the Week 

� Encourage the leaders and Sunday School workers in their preparations for Friend 

Day. 

� Have special meetings to decorate classrooms with the Friend Day theme. Children’s 

classes may do this during Sunday School as they study friendship. (Many books 

have bulletin board ideas. Check with your library or local Christian bookstore.) 

WEEK SIX DATE_____________ 

Sunday 

Sunday School

� Hand out “Who Are My Friends?” form and “Yes” cards to students who were absent 

last Sunday. 

� Teach Lesson 2, and assign Chapter 3 of the textbook to be read for next week. 

� In the children’s classes, teachers may have pupils color pages from the coloring book 

to place in the hallways. 


� Use Friend Day bulletin (Will your friend be missing?). 

� Remind members to pray for the friends on their lists. 

� Announce that “Yes” cards are available for those who did not pick them up last 

Sunday. 

� Pastor challenges members to invite friends. (A Gallup poll found that 67 percent of 

the people who have never attended Sunday School and church have never been 

invited. A member of one church reported that his friend said, “Why didn’t you ask 

me sooner?” Another remarked, “I was just waiting for an invitation.” Some people 

who would never think of attending church by themselves will respond positively if 

asked. This is where members can play a major role in the evangelistic outreach of 

their church.) 


� Pastor preaches second sermon on being a friend (God’s Friendship versus Human 

Friendships). 




� Teachers call pupils and encourage them to get “Yes” cards filled in. 

WEEK SEVEN DATE_______________ 

Sunday 

Sunday School 

� Collect “Yes” cards from students and give them lapel pins. 

� Start recruiting those with computers to type letters on Friend Day afternoon. 

� Teach Lesson 3, and assign Chapter 4 of the textbook to be read for next week. 

� Children may color the Friend Day poster or other picture as their lesson activity. 


� Use Friend Day bulletin (Will your friend be missing?). Collect “Yes” cards. Have 

special prayer for Friend Day. 

� Pastor preaches third sermon on being a friend (Christians Help Their Friends). 

� Start recruiting members who have computers to type letters on Friend Day 

afternoon. 

After Morning Service

� Post all members’ “Yes” cards on bulletin board. 

� Post children’s colored pictures in hallways. 



� Recruit more typists. 


� Be sure all printing is picked up. 

� Assigned person buys stamps. 

WEEK EIGHT DATE______________ 

Sunday 

Sunday School 

� Teach Lesson 4. 

� Recruit workers for next Sunday afternoon (typists, envelope stuffers, record keepers, 

etc.). 

� Announce that thank-you cards and postage stamps will be distributed after today’s 

service. Members are requested to send the cards to their friends the afternoon of 



� Use Friend Day bulletin (Will your friend be missing?). 

� Insert special offering envelope in bulletin. Also, put offering envelopes in back of 

pews. 

� Remind members about the special offering to be collected the Sunday following 


� Announce that thank-you cards and postage stamps will be distributed after today’s 

service. Members are requested to send the cards to their friends the afternoon of 


� Announce the special prayer meeting for Friend Day to be held on Saturday, and 

encourage everyone to attend. 

� Recruit workers for next Sunday afternoon (typists, envelope stuffers, record keepers, 

etc.). 


� Pastor preaches fourth sermon on being a friend (Friends Who Help Us). 


� Have thank-you cards and postage stamps available in the lobby. 




� Pastor and/or assistants mail postcards to members to remind them of the upcoming 

Friend Day and the need to invite a friend if they have not already done so. 

Friday and Saturday

� Superintendent calls all teachers and reminds them to call their students. 

� Teachers call their students and remind them to call their friends. 

� Pastor or his helper calls and reminds workers for Sunday afternoon to come and 

bring their typewriters. 

Saturday 

� Members call friends and remind them about the special service and offer to give 

them a ride to the church. 

� Reserve the parking spaces closest to the church for the visiting friends. 

� Have special prayer service for Friend Day. Pray for all the persons named on the 

cards on the main bulletin board. During the service you may want to encourage 

everyone there who has invited a friend to call their friend, right now, if they have not 

already done so. 

FRIEND DAY ACTIVITIES 

The big day has arrived. Enter it with the assurance that God’s Word will not 

return to Him void, but that it will accomplish that which He pleases and will prosper in 

the thing whereto He sent it (see Isaiah 55:11). 

WEEK NINE DATE________________ 

Sunday 

Sunday Morning Before Service 

� The pastor gives a reminder call to the board members. 

� The Sunday School Superintendent makes a pep call to the teachers. 

� Some members call and pick up their friends. 

Sunday School 

� Station greeters in the parking lot and at all doors. 

� Collecting visitor names and addresses may be handled in one or two ways. In the 

first method, a registration table could be set up in the entrance and visitors could be 

registered and given nametags, and the church brochure. In the second method, upon 

the visitor’s entrance, greeters could give them a visitor card that might be collected 

later. 

� Teachers should collect visitor cards in the classrooms. The class secretary should 

copy all the addresses so the teacher will have them when he or she writes and visits 

the friends. After copying addresses, secretary should give the cards to a member of 

the follow-up committee. (If visitor cards are not used, registrars may be stationed at 

classroom doors to gather the information required for follow-up.) 

� In the children's classes, teach Lesson 5. Children may color as the lesson activity. 

(Be prepared to copy pages from coloring (lesson) book for visiting children or 

purchase additional coloring books to have extras on hand. They will make excellent 

gifts for children to take home on their first visit.) 

� In the teen and adult classes, turn the classrooms into reception areas. Teachers and 

class officers should form a reception line. Use the period as a social hour (perhaps

serve a continental breakfast of Danish and donuts and coffee, tea and juice). Each 

pupil should introduce his or her friend(s). 

� The social time could conclude with a testimony by one of the class members on how 

he or she became a friend of God or what their church means to them. (It would be 

most appropriate if the person testifying were someone who had been invited for an 

earlier Friend Day and he or she also told about their introduction to the church.) 

� A special music program could be going on in the sanctuary during the Sunday 

School hour. This could establish a flow for moving people from the classrooms to 

the sanctuary. After the concert, the pastor should go into the pulpit and begin the 

service. 

� Members should encourage visiting friends to attend the worship service and escort 

them to the sanctuary. 


� Station greeters in the parking lot and at all doors. 

� The pastor and his wife may stand in the foyer to greet visitors who come in through 

the main entrance. The assistant pastor, the board chairman, and both their wives 

may stand with the pastor and his wife in a receiving line, or they may be stationed at 

side entrances. 

� Register visitors who were not in Sunday School. (At this point anyone not wearing a 

nametag would not have been in Sunday School). If this is difficult, give them visitor 

cards for later collection. Give them nametags, and a brochure on the church also. 

� Use Friend Day bulletin (We have a place for you.). 

IMPORTANT: At some point in the service (perhaps mid-way 

through in case some friends are late arriving), collect visitor cards from 

those who did not attend Sunday School. 

� If the number of visitors is small, take time during the service for members to 

introduce their friends. A short welcome would then be in order. (However, do not 

ask the visitors to make remarks because it might embarrass some whose friendship 

you are trying to win.) 

� Have special prayer for all the friends. 

� Pastor preaches fifth and final sermon on friendship (What It Means To Have Jesus 

for a Friend). 

� Though some churches may not routinely extend an invitation for persons to come to 

Christ, one should be extended at the end of this service. This may be the day that 

some will hear the Lord's voice and will not harden their hearts to Him. 

� Hand out the gift book, Friends, to all members and visitors. Be sure the church's 

name and address are stamped on the back of the book. 

FOLLOW-UP ACTIVITIES

Now begins the most important part of Friend Day: the follow-up. It is the key 

to long-term success. On Friend Day the seed was sown. Germination, growth, and fruit 

that remains depend on the cultivation process that follows. No farmer sows a seed and 

then leaves it to itself. Even so, the church that plants Gospel seeds must follow them up. 

After reviewing the procedure outlined below, you may ask, “Why so many 

contacts?” The procedure is based upon a principle called The Law of Three Hearings 

and Seven Touches. Research shows that the average visitor to church does not accept 

Christ the first time he visits. He will usually visit 3.4 times deciding to become a 

Christian or join the church. Research also shows that a person usually makes a decision 

for Christ after he has had seven meaningful contacts with the church. These contacts or 

touches can be initiated by the church through letters, phone calls, or visits. Timing is 

also important. To be most effective, all the follow-up must be done during the week 

after Friend Day. 

WEEK NINE DATE_______________ 

Sunday 


� Follow-up committee meets and prepares letter from the pastor thanking the friends 

for visiting. The letter should include a handwritten (if possible) postscript from the 

pastor. (See sample letter at the end of this section.) Do not use form letters, as they 

are much less effective. 

� Committee uses visitor cards to obtain names and addresses. When the letters have 

been typed, and the envelopes addressed, the letters should be placed in a post box for 

Monday delivery. 

� Bring in lunch for the workers. 

� Pastor follows up those who committed themselves to Christ during the invitation. 

Sunday Evening 

� Make sure all members have thank-you cards. You may want to have members write 

the cards during the evening service. If so, you may suggest what to say and correct 

the cards so they can be mailed first thing Monday morning. 

Monday 

� Pastor calls each friend and schedules a visit with those who are receptive. (If there 

are many friends, praise the Lord and share the task of calling with the assistant 

pastor or one of the other church leaders.) If any say that they do not want to be 

contacted again, the pastor should give the Friend Day secretary their name(s). The 

secretary should inform the teachers so that the church's friendly testimony is 

maintained. (It is not being friendly when you continue contacting a person who has 

requested no more contacts. The pastor, superintendent and Sunday School teachers 

should check with the Friend Day secretary before calling anyone and let her know 

immediately when someone requests no more contacts.) 

� For the secretary's use, a sample Visitor Follow-Up and Tracking form is included 

among the implementation materials at the end of this section. (Copy as many as you 

need.)

� Members who did not attend the evening service should mail their thank-you cards. 

Tuesday 

� Pastor begins visiting those who came to the church on Friend Day and leaves a 

Friendship Packet with them. (For ideas on what to put in the packet, see the list in 

the implementation materials portion of this section.) 

� Members phone friends. 

� Sunday School teachers write friends (see sample letters at the end of this section). 

Wednesday 

� Members visit friends (see Guidelines for Visiting in the implementation materials at 

the end of this section). 

� Teachers phone friends. 


� Have a table set up with thank-you cards and stamps for those who have not mailed 

cards to their friends yet. Allot time for the members to write short thank-you notes 

during the service. 

� Have all cards brought to the front and a special prayer prayed over them. 

Thursday 

� Teachers and Superintendent meet at church, pray for success of visitation, and then 

go to visit friends (carry copies of the regular Sunday School lesson book to give to 

those who commit to attending Sunday School). 

� The schedule of contacts that should be made with friends who visited is shown in 

Table 1 below. Add dates of your choice. 

Schedule of Contacts 

Person 

DAY OF WEEK 

Responsible S M T W T F S 

Pastor M P V 

Member M P V 

S. S. Teacher M P V 

Table Legend 

M = Mail 

P = Phone 

V = Visit 

Sunday 

� Pastor should report on the success of the campaign and thank the members for their 

efforts to increase the kingdom of God. 

� During the worship service, collect the Friend Day offering. 

� Have special prayer of thanksgiving for the successful Friend Day and pray for all the 

friends.

PASTOR’S LETTER TO FRIENDS 

Dear Use Person’s Name , 

Month Date, Year 

It was a pleasure having you (or you and your family) visit our church this 

morning. Thank-you for responding to your friend's invitation to worship with us. I hope 

the visit was an inspiration to you. 

I would like to visit you on Day at Time . Please call me on Phone 

Number if another day would be more convenient for you. I look forward to 

getting to know you better and sharing with you the many ministries offered by our 

church. 

If I or the church staff and family can assist you in any way, please do not hesitate 

to call upon us. It would be our joy to serve you. 

Again, thank-you for visiting and worshipping with us this morning. We wanted 

to make this a special day for you, and you have made it a special day for us. 

Your friend in Christ, 

John Shepherd 

P.S. I work in the office on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Other days you 

can reach me at home at 000-0000. God bless you! 

[This post script should be hand written and include your specific information] 

Pastor 

This letter is to be typed, signed, and stuffed in envelopes on the afternoon of 

Friend Day. The envelopes are to be addressed with the names of visitors and all the 

letters mailed for Monday delivery. Prepare two versions of the letter, one to be sent to 

families and one to single individuals. Sending the pastor's letter to the head of the 

household instead of each family member saves postage. However, friends and teachers 

are to send letters to each person they invited or taught.

LETTER OF COMMITMENT TO BE SIGNED 

BY PASTOR’S FRIENDS 

Dear Use Pastors Name , 


I promise to visit Church Name as your friend on Date/Time . 

Thank you very much for inviting me to worship with you. I am looking forward to 

being there. 

Sincerely yours, 

Friend XYZ

TEACHER’S LETTER TO ADULTS 



It was a joy to meet you and get to know you in my Class Name 

Sunday School class. It is always a delight to make new friends. I do hope this 

was just your "Break the Ice" visit because I'd like you to come back again. 

I hope to stop by for a short visit with you later this week. Please call me at - 

Phone if another time would be more convenient for you. 

Your friend in Christian service, 

Jane Doe 

On the Tuesday following Friend Day, this letter is to be mailed by the teacher to 

adults who visited the Sunday School class.

TEACHER’S LETTER TO A CHILD OR TEEN 



I enjoyed having you in my class last Sunday. I am sure the other children/teens 

did also. Thank-you for being a friend to . 

I’d like to get to know you better, so I will visit you one day this week. I am truly 

happy that you came to Friend Day. See you soon. 

This letter is to be mailed on the Tuesday following Friend Day. 

With love in Christ, 

Jonathan Doe

HOW TO USE THE ADULT/TEEN LESSONS 

The Adult/Teen Lessons are correlated with the textbook, How To Reach Your 

Friends for Christ. This section includes a handout sheet for each lesson and 

presupposes that the students have read the corresponding chapter in the textbook before 

coming to class. 

If you do not wish to print the textbook for all the students to have individual 

copies, the lessons may be taught with the handout sheet alone. You may give copies of 

the handout sheets to the students at the same time that they are given the textbook, or 

you may hand them out separately each Sunday. 

LESSON I - STAIRSTEPPING YOUR FRIENDS TO 

CHRIST 

Lesson Text: John 1:29-42 

Key Verse: "He first findeth his own brother Simon, and saith unto him, We have 

found the Messias, which is, being interpreted, the Christ" (John 1:41). 

Lesson Aim: To introduce the concept of stairstepping with a biblical example. 

Introduction: Stairstepping is purposefully influencing one's friends for Christ by 

letting them see you putting your faith into action. It is also telling them what God has 

done and is doing for you. This systematic witnessing will move your friends closer to a 

salvation decision one step at time. 

Answer Key for Lesson 1 Handout 

1. Being decision-oriented rather than discipleship-oriented, expecting abnormal 

rather than normal responses, thinking evangelism should focus primarily on strangers 

rather than friends evangelizing out of guilt rather than love. 

2. Bringing people to Jesus 

3. Convenient moment 

4. Unintentional 

5. Influence 

6. Persistence, commitment 

7. Process, event 

8. Will 

9. Peace, joy 

10. Friends

STAIRSTEPPING YOUR FRIENDS TO 

CHRIST 

1. Wrong attitudes that keep Christians from effectively reaching their friends are: 

_________________________________________________________________, 

_________________________________________________________________, 

_________________________________________________________________, 

and ______________________________________________________________. 

2. What was Andrew's gift? ____________________________________________. 

3. When you attempt to reach your friends for Christ, you can't always wait until a 

_______ __________________________________________ to share your faith 

with them. 

4. Stairstepping may be casual, but it is not ________________________________. 

5. Jesus' disciples did not first go out to preach publicly; they went out to _________ 

__________________ their friends and relatives. 

6. It takes __________________________ and ____________________________to 

reach your friends for Christ. 

7. Evangelism is a ________________________ leading to an _________________. 

8. The _________________of God is that no one be lost (II Peter 3:9). 

9. If you are going to attract others to Christ, you must radiate the 

_____________________ and ___________________________ that only He can 

give. 

10. Research indicates that most people who visit Sunday School are looking for 

____________ _______________________________.

LESSON 2 - RIGHT ATTITUDES FOR 

STAIRSTEPPING YOUR FRIENDS TO 

CHRIST 

Lesson Texts: John 3:3-7; Romans 3:23, 5:8, 6:23, 10:9 

Key Verse: "Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, 

Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God" (John 3:3). 

Lesson Aim: To prepare students for stairstepping their friends to Christ by 

ensuring that they are themselves qualified and equipped to do so (that is, they are saved, 

are living a righteous life, and know the Bible). 

Introduction: There are several prerequisites for successful stairstepping. They 

are being saved, being yielded to God, knowing the Word of God, and leading a life of 

prayer. In addition, one must cultivate right attitudes. These include having biblical 

compassion and being tactful, willing to listen, and respectful of one's friends' religious 

views. 


1. Being born again, being yielded to God, realizing that one’s friends outside of 

Christ are lost, and recognizing that stairstepping is biblical 

2. The Word of God 

3. Lead a life prayer 

4. Might be saved 

5. The love of God in your heart 

6. Listen to you 

7. Ourselves 

8. Earn 

9. Tact 

10. ‘'Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the 

Lord.” 

11. Fear, power, love mind

RIGHT ATTITUDES FOR STAIRSTEPPING 

YOUR FRIENDS TO CHRIST 

1. Name the four things that qualify one to stairstep his friends to Christ. 

__________________________________________________________________ 

__________________________________________________________________ 

_________________________________________________________________. 

2. To be equipped to stairstep one's friends to Christ, one must know ____________ 

_________________________________________________________________. 

3. One must also live __________________________________________________. 

4. Paul exemplified the heart of a true witness when he said, "Brethren, my heart's 

desire and prayer for Israel is, that they __________________________”(Romans 

10:1). 

5. The most effective motivation for stairstepping friends to Jesus Christ is 

___________ _________________________________________in your heart. 

6. Getting your friends to ______________________________________is one step 

in the stairstepping process. 

7. Love is giving of _______________________________________________for 

our friends. 

8. You must _________________________________the right to share the Gospel 

with your friends. 

9. ____________________________ is the mental ability to do and say the right 

thing at the right time so as not to unjustly offend or anger. 

10. What is the promise that God gave Jeremiah to overcome his fear of prophesying 

to the people (see Jeremiah 1:8)? 

__________________________________________________________________ 

__________________________________________________________________ 

_________________________________________________________________. 

11. Another verse that should encourage our hearts when we are witnessing is II 

Timothy 1:7, which states, "For God hath not given us the spirit of 

______________ but of _________, and of ______________________ and of a 

sound ________________.”

LESSON 3 - EFFECTIVE STAIRSTEPPING 

METHODS 

Lesson Text: Acts 1:8 

Key Verse: "But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon 

you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in 

Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth" (Acts 1:8). 

Lesson Aim: To teach some effective methods for stairstepping friends to Christ. 

Introduction: Stairstepping is effective for many reasons. On the surface it 

seems simple, one friend talking to another about his faith. But beneath the surface, 

many powerful forces are at work. Recognizing and harnessing these forces is one way 

of ensuring successful stairstepping. For instance, in a friendship, a natural relationship 

already exists that can be used as a bridge over which to share one's Christian experience. 

Also, because of the friendship, the Christian is privy to the events in his friend's life and 

therefore will know when the friend is going through struggles that might make him more 

receptive to the Gospel. Taking advantage of these and other naturally occurring events 

makes stairstepping part of the natural process of living. 


1. Relationship 

2. Separate 

3. Network 

4. Isolate, ambassadors 

5. Heating, yourself, church, Christ 

6. Christ, glory 

7. Comment 

8. Gospel 

9. Seasons 

10. Messenger, message 

11. Barrier, remove

EFFECTIVE STAIRSTEPPING METHODS 

1. Your friends are most reachable through their ____________________________ 

with you. 

2. When people become Christians, they __________________________themselves 

from the world. 

3. Christians ___________________________ into a world of both saved and 

unsaved persons. 

4. Christians cannot _________________________themselves in this world; they 

are to be for Jesus Christ. 

5. The three steps of winning a _____________________________________are (a) 

winning your friends to ____________________ (b) winning them to the 

fellowship of the _______________________, and (c) winning them to 

________________________. 

6. Your friends identify with ___________________________________in you, the 

hope of _________________________________” (Colossians 1:27). 

7. Communicate means "to have in ______________________________________.” 

8. Your friends cannot get saved apart from the _____________________________. 

9. Watch for __________________________of the soul in your friends. 

10. Receptivity extends to both the _____________________________________and 

the ______________________________________. 

11. The first step in overcoming a __________________________ is to identify it. 

Then one should take steps to _________________________it.

LESSON 4 - HOW TO INVITE YOUR FRIENDS 

TO CHURCH 

Lesson Text: Acts 10:9-33 

Key Verse: "The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls 

is wise" (Proverbs 11:30). 

Lesson Aim: To assure students about the biblical rightness of stairstepping and 

to teach them how to invite friends to church using the example of Cornelius. 

Introduction: One does not just walk up to a friend and invite him to church 

without having laid some groundwork. You will receive a positive response to your 

invitation if you (1) are convinced of your strategy; (2) are sure of your relationship; (3) 

explain your motives; (4) raise and answer problems before they do; and (5) build up 

their anticipation. 

Lesson Activity: Divide the class into dyads and have each set role-play inviting 

a friend to church. 


1. Front Door 

2. New Testament 

3. World, preach, creature 

4. Convinced 

5. Relationship 

6. Motives 

7. Problems 

8. Anticipation 

9. Family, friends 

10. Listen

HOW TO INVITE YOUR FRIENDS TO 

CHURCH 

1. The phrase "_______________________________________Evangelism" is used 

to describe outreach to unsaved people who visit a church and hear the good news 

of Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection. 

2. Lost people attended ______________________________________church 

services. 

3. Jesus gave the command, "Go ye into all the _____________________, and 

__________ the gospel to every ________________________" (Mark 16:15). 

4. The first step in inviting evangelism is to be __________________________of 

your strategy. 

5. The second step is to be sure of your ___________________________________. 

6. You should explain your _____________________________________________. 

7. You should also raise and answer _________________________________before 

they do. 

8. Lastly, you should build up their ______________________________________. 

9. Cornelius gathered his _____________________ and ________________to hear 

Peter preach. 

10. They came ready to _________________________________________________.

HOW TO USE THE CHILDREN'S LESSONS 

The Children's Lessons consist of the lesson plans for the teacher's use only 

(although the lesson portion may be copied and given to the students) and a coloring 

book (see Appendix 3). The coloring book contains activities to reinforce the lesson, as 

well as pictures related to the lesson topic. The picture and poster may be placed in the 

classroom and halls after the children have colored them. 

LESSON I - A FRIEND LOVES AT ALL TIMES 

Lesson Text: Luke 10:30-35 (The Story of the Good Samaritan) 

Memory Verse: "A friend loveth at all times" (Proverbs 17:17a). 

Lesson Aim: To teach that true friends help those who are in trouble, whether 

they know them or not. 

Lesson Activity: Select children to role-play the parts of the man who was 

robbed, the priest, the Levite, the Samaritan, and the innkeeper. One child might even act 

as the Samaritan's donkey. 

Lesson Song: "Beloved, Let Us Love One Another" 

Our Lesson Says 

A Jewish man traveled from Jerusalem to Jericho along the dangerous Jericho 

Road. As he was going, some thieves grabbed him, ripped off his good clothes, and beat 

him. They then ran away with his clothes, leaving him half-naked and almost dead in the 

road. 

A short time later, a priest passed that way. When he saw the man, he crossed to 

the other side of the road and passed by him. 

A Levite, one of the priests' helpers, also came by. He walked over to the man, 

looked at him, and then went on his way. 

Last came a Samaritan. The Jews did not like the Samaritans. But this Samaritan 

had pity on the hurt man. He went to him, put healing oil and wine on his cuts, and 

bandaged them up. Then he helped the man onto his own donkey and took him to an inn. 

He spent the night caring for the man. 

The next day the Samaritan had to leave. He paid the innkeeper in advance for 

keeping the sick man. He promised that if caring for the man cost more money than what 

he was leaving, he would pay the rest when he returned.

LESSON 2 - A FRIEND PROTECTS YOU 

Lesson Texts: I Samuel 18:1-4; 19:1-7; 20:1-42 (The Friendship of Jonathan and 

David) (The teacher could use a flannelgraph board or puppets to tell this familiar story. 

Check with your local Christian bookstore for helpful materials.) 

Memory Verse: "The Lord is my strength and my shield" (Psalm 28:7a). 

Lesson Aim: To show that a true friend speaks well of his friend and protects 

him, even when it means that he himself might be disliked or hurt. 

Lesson Activity: Have the children make statements about who their best friend 

is and why or have them draw a picture of a scene that shows friendship. 

Lesson Song: "The Lord Is My Strength and Shield" 


David and Jonathan were best friends. They became friends when Jonathan's 

father, King Saul, brought David to work for him after he killed the giant Goliath. In the 

king's court, David played his harp to help the king relax from the bad headaches he often 

had. Jonathan loved David so much that he gave him his royal robes, ring, bow, belt, and 

sword. They agreed to be friends forever. But when David became famous for killing 

thousands of King Saul's enemies, the Philistines, the king became jealous. 

King Saul made a plan to kill David. He told Jonathan about his plan. He said 

that if the people made David king, then Jonathan would not get a chance to be king. But 

Jonathan did not worry about this. He believed what the prophet Samuel had said, that 

David would one day be king. Jonathan reminded his father that David had done him no 

wrong. Instead David had really helped the king by killing his enemies. 

King Saul was sorry for his evil plans. But later he once again planned to kill 

David. Jonathan stood up for his friend a second time. But his father threw a spear at 

him. Then Jonathan knew that King Saul really meant to kill David. 

Jonathan went out into the field. He and David had worked out a code. If 

Jonathan shot an arrow and told his servant that the arrow went beyond him, then David 

must run away, for the king meant to kill him. If Jonathan told the servant that the arrow 

was near him, then David could come to the palace again. Jonathan shot the arrow 

beyond the servant. Then he told him to go home. 

David came out of his hiding place. He fell down at Jonathan's feet and cried. 

Jonathan cried, too. After promising again to be Jonathan's friend forever, David left the 

country.

LESSON 3 - ANDREW BRINGS PETER TO 

JESUS 

Lesson Text: John 1:29-42 

Memory Verse: "He that winneth souls is wise" (Proverbs 11:30b). 

Lesson Aim: To show that we must be concerned about the salvation of our 

relatives. 

Jesus. 

Lesson Activity: Have the children color the picture of Andrew bringing Peter to 


Before Jesus began to teach and preach among the people, a man named John the 

Baptist preached to them. He told the people that One would come after him whose 

shoestrings John was not worthy to untie. One day when John was baptizing people in 

the Jordan River, he saw Jesus coming to him. Immediately he cried out, "Behold the 

Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world." 

Two of the Baptist's disciples heard what he said. They followed Jesus as He left. 

When He asked them what they wanted, they said, "Where do you live?" Jesus said, 

"Come and see." The two disciples spent the day with Jesus. One of these disciples was 

John. The other was Andrew. 

After his day with Jesus, Andrew went to find his brother Peter. He told him, 

“We have found the Messiah, the Christ.” He then brought Peter to Jesus. When Jesus 

saw Peter, He gave him a new name. He said, "You will be called Cephas, which means 

"a stone." 

Peter later became one of Jesus' most loyal disciples. He was also one of the 

founding fathers of the Christian church.

3:9). 

LESSON 4 - CORNELIUS BRINGS HIS 

FAMILY AND FRIENDS TO HEAR PETER 

Lesson Text: Acts 10:1-48 

Memory Verse: "The Lord is not . . . willing that any should perish . . ." (II Peter 

Lesson Aim: To show we must not only be concerned about the salvation of our 

relatives, but our friends also. 

Lesson Activity: Have children complete "Remembering Lesson 4." Go over the 

answers with them. 


An Italian Army captain named Cornelius lived in the Roman colony of Caesarea 

to keep the peace there. He was a deeply religious man. He and his family feared God, 

gave much money to the poor, and prayed constantly. 

One day as he was praying, Cornelius had a vision. In it an angel told him that 

God had heard his prayers and accepted his gifts to the poor. The angel instructed 

Cornelius to send for the Apostle Peter, who would tell him what further religious things 

he must do. 

Cornelius quickly obeyed the angel and sent some men to the city of Joppa to get 

Peter. Meantime, Peter was resting at a friend's house. While he rested, he dreamed that 

a sheet came down from heaven. In it were many animals that Jews like Peter were not 

to touch or eat. But in the dream Peter heard a voice saying, "Rise, Peter; kill, and eat." 

Peter said, "Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten any thing that is common or unclean." 

The sheet came down three times, and three times Peter was commanded to rise, kill, and 

eat. After the third time, Cornelius’ men knocked on the door. The Holy Spirit then told 

Peter to get up and go with the men who were looking for him. Peter did. 

When they arrived at Cornelius' house in Caesarea, they found him waiting for 

them. Cornelius had also invited his family and friends to hear Peter. He told Peter 

about his vision and Peter told him about his dream. Then Cornelius said, "We are all 

here present before God to hear all things that are commanded thee of God." While Peter 

was preaching to them, the Holy Spirit came upon all of them, and they spoke in tongues 

and praised God. Peter then commanded them to be baptized, for he saw that they were 

accepted by God just like the Jews were.

LESSON 5 - JESUS DIED FOR US 

Lesson Texts: John 15:9-17; Romans 5:8 

Memory Verse: "There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother" (Proverbs 

18:24b). 

Lesson Aim: To teach that Jesus, by His death on the cross, has paid for our sins 

so that we might become friends of His and of God's. By dying for us, Jesus proved that 

He was the "best friend of all." 

Lesson Activity: Have children color the picture of Jesus. 

Lesson Songs: "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" and "Oh, How I Love Jesus" 


In His last days with His disciples, Jesus told them many truths. He told them 

about love and how it is best shown. He said that anyone who loves Him would show it 

by keeping His commandments, even as He obeyed His heavenly Father's 

commandments. 

Jesus said that the greatest love any man can show for his friend is to die for him: 

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." (This 

meant that Jesus would go to the cross for sinners.) By telling the disciples ahead of time 

about His coming death, Jesus said He was not treating them like servants. Servants do 

not know what their masters are doing or planning. But Jesus now called the disciples 

friends because everything that the Father had told Him, He had told the disciples. 

other. 

Jesus ended His instructions by again commanding the disciples to love each 

The second part of our lesson text, Romans 5:8, says, "But God commendeth his 

love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." He actually did die 

for sinners. He did so to show how much God loves us.

HOW TO USE THE SERMON OUTLINES 

The following outlines are simply suggestions for the pastor who wishes to follow 

the Friend Day theme in the worship service, as well as in the Sunday School. These 

outlines are developed in the gift book, Friends, which may be printed for distribution to 

members at the beginning of the Friend Day campaign or to members and friends after 

the Friend Day service. 

Hopefully, the outlines will stimulate the pastor’s thoughts and help him meet the 

needs of the congregation he serves. They are presented in skeletal form so that each 

pastor can add “meat" as he chooses. 

NOTE: To make it easier to use, Friends, does not have the author's name on it. 

We suggest that the church's name and address be stamped on the title page and on the 

back of the book. 

SERMON ONE 

Why Christians Should Have Friends 

INTRODUCTION: Friends make us well rounded. Therefore, Christians ought 

to have friends because it will help them grow. Because of the benefits of friendship, 

someone has said, "You can't be a Christian alone." Let us review five reasons Christians 

should have friends: 

I. To learn to know themselves 

A. Friends show us our good points. (Proverbs 27:17) 

B. Friends show us our bad points, while enemies only flatter us. (Proverbs 27:6, 

29:5) 

C. Friends help us take off our masks and own up to our failings. (II Samuel 

12:1-13) 

II. To learn to give (Luke 6:38; Acts 2:44) 

III. To learn to listen (Proverbs 18:13) 

IV. To learn to understand others 

A. Having a variety of friends teaches us to be tolerant of other’s differences. (I 

Corinthians 12:18) 

B. Friends teach us to be sensitive to others. (Job 6:14) 

V. To grow in Christ 

A. Friends give us godly counsel. (Proverbs 27:9) 

B. Friends teach us how to walk in Christ by their example. (Philippians 3:17) 

C. By discussing our faith with us, friends help us know what we believe and 

why we believe it. (Proverbs 27:17)

SERMON TWO 

God's Friendship Versus Human Friendships 

INTRODUCTION: Popular sayings abound about human friendships. Let us 

compare several of these sayings with what the Bible says about God's friendship. 

I. “ Friends know all about each other.” 

A. Friends know many things about each other, but they can’t know every 

weakness and strength. When our relationship with some friends is narrow, we 

only know them in that limited function or role. 

B. God knows all about us when none of our friends do. He sees inward; they 

see outward. (I Samuel 16:7) 

II. “A true friend is forever” 

A. Friends can part over differences or because of geographical distances. 

B. God’s friendship is forever. 

1. God says He will never leave us nor forsake us. (Deuteronomy 31:6, 

Joshua 1:5, Hebrews 13:5) 

2. There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God. (Romans 

8:35-39) 

3. God lives within our hearts. (Proverbs 18:24; John 1:9; II Corinthians 

3:3) 

III. “Blood is thicker than water.” 

A. Relatives should love each other, but this is not always the case. 

B. God’s friendship is stronger than family ties or earthly friendships. 

1. We are born into His family. (John 1:12-13) 

2. We are regenerated as children. (John 1:12) 

3. We are adopted as sons. (Romans 8:14-17; Galatians 4:4-7) 

IV. “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” 

A. Sometimes friends fail us when we are separated by a great distance, when we 

need money, or when our need is too lengthy. 

B. God’s friendship is available for every kind of need. 

1. God promises to be with us in prosperity and in the valley of death. 

(Psalm 23:2, 4) 

2. God knows our needs and meets them before we ask. (Isaiah 65:24; 

Daniel 10:12; Luke 12:29-30; Philippians 4:19) 

V. “Friends are likes that attract like.” 

A. Sometimes friendships develop between persons of different ages, races, or 

social classes. 

B. Though we were originally made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26, 27), 

since the fall of Adam we are unlike Him in that we are sinful. Still God is our 

friend, for “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) 

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for His friends.” 

(John 15:13)

SERMON THREE 

Christians Help Their Friends 

INTRODUCTION: We all want friends, and we expect them to help us. We can 

aid in this process by observing the Golden Rule and being a helping friend ourselves. 

Today we will examine several ways we can help our friends. 

I. By Example—Teach your friends what you know; reproduce what you are by 

modeling : 

A. The Christian life, especially in your attitude toward circumstances and others. 

Paul was a role model to young Timothy and to those in the new churches that he 

planted. He told them, “Be ye followers of me, even as I also an of Christ.” (I 

Corinthians 11:1, Philippians 3:17) Paul’s life exemplified: 

1. Commitment to the cause of Christ despite persecution. (II 

Corinthians 11:23-33; 12:10) 

2. Refusal to become entangled with the attractions of this present world 

(contentment with such things as he had). (Philippians 4:11; II Timothy 

2:3-4) 

3. Holiness (abstaining from evil and fleeing from even the appearance of 

evil). (II Timothy 2:22) 

B. Considerateness—Take into consideration their needs, desires, and feelings. 

(Proverbs 27:14; Matthew 7:12) 

C. Commitment/Loyalty 

1. Stand by them in good times and bad. (Acts 11:25, 26) 

2. Do not gossip about them. (Proverbs 16:28; 25:9, 18) 

3. Warn them of harm. (I Samuel 20:9; Proverbs 27:6) 

D. Unselfishness—Give them of your time, talent, or treasure. 

1. Jonathan gave David his royal robes, sword, bow and belt. (I Samuel 

18:4) 

2. The Good Samaritan gave of his time to help the wounded traveler and 

of his treasure to provide for him at the inn. (Luke 10:33-35) 

3. Peter said to the beggar, “Silver and gold have I none; but such as I 

have give I thee.” (Acts 3:6) 

II. By Encouraging and Motivating Them (I Timothy 1 and 2) 

III. By Listening and Keeping Confidences (Proverbs 11:13; 17:9) 

IV. By Giving Wise Counsel (Exodus 18:13-23)

SERMON FOUR 

Friends Who Help Us 

INTRODUCTION: There are four kinds of friends who help us. First, there is 

the counselor-friend who guides us through our problems. Second, there is the herofriend 

who motivates us to achieve greater things. Third, there is the teacher-friend who 

instructs us and gives us wisdom. And in the fourth place, there is the coach-friend who 

supports and encourages us. 

I. Counselor-Friends Guide Us Through Problems (Exodus 18:13-33) 

A. They help by listening. 

B. They help by letting us ventilate our feelings. 

C. They help by helping us see our problem. 

D. They help by mirroring our inner self. 

II. Hero-Friends motivate us upward. (I Samuel 18:1-4) 

A. Heroes reflect what we want to become. 

B. Hero-friends are dedicated to something larger than themselves. 

C. When we change hero-friends, we change our life’s direction. 

III. Teacher-Friends Instruct Us (I and II Timothy) 

A. They tell us facts. 

B. They give us skills. 

IV. Coach-Friends Support Us (Ruth 3:1-5) 

A. They give us hints, encouragement, motivation, and support. 

B. No friend can give us success in life, but a coach works on our attitude.

SERMON FIVE 

What It Means To Have Jesus For A Friend 

INTRODUCTION: T he greatest friend to a Christian is Jesus Christ. Why? 

Because Jesus can do more for the Christian than anyone else on earth. When the Bible 

says, “ . . . there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24b), it is 

describing the friendship of Jesus Christ. 

I. Jesus is a friend who helps us overcome sin 

What a friend we have in Jesus, 

All our sins and griefs to bear! 

What a privilege to carry 

Everything to God in prayer. 

what peace we often forfeit, 

what needless pain we bear, 

All because we do not carry 

Everything to God in prayer! 

A. Sins—We commit intentional and unintentional sins. (I John 1:8) 

B. Griefs—These are emotional brokennesses as a result of our sins. (Isaiah 

53:3-4) 

C. Bear—Jesus’ death gives us relationship to God through forgiveness. (Isaiah 

53;4; Hebrews 4:15-16) 

D. Peace—We have peace with God. (Romans 5:1; Ephesians 2:14) We have 

the peace of God. (Philippians 4:6-7; I Thessalonians 5:23) 

II. Jesus is a friend who helps us overcome failures 

Have we trials and temptations? 

Is there trouble anywhere? 

We should never be discouraged, 

Take it to the Lord in prayer. 

Can we find a friend so faithful 

Who will all our sorrows share? 

Jesus knows our every weakness, 


A. Trials—God-given experiences to determine or increase our strength. (I 

Corinthians 10:13; James 1:2, 12; I Peter 1:7) 

B. Temptations—Attempts by Satan to pull us down and destroy us. (Matthew 

4:1-10; James 1:13-14) 

C. Sorrows—The hurts and regrets that come from failing and giving in to 

temptation. (II Corinthians 2:5-7, 7:10) 

D. Weakness—Weak points that Satan touches to hurt us. God strengthens them 

to use us. (Luke 22:31-32) 

III. Jesus is a friend who helps us overcome problems 

Are we weak and heavy laden, 

Cumbered with a load of care? 

Precious Saviour, still our refuge 


Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?


In His arms He’ll take and sheild thee, 

Thou wilt find a solace there. 

A. Weak—When we have come to the end of our own strength, we think of 

giving up, but we need to turn to the Lord. (Psalm 6:2; Isaiah 12:2, 35:3-4) 

B. Heavy Laden—When we try to carry our cares by ourselves, we find that they 

are too heavy and drain us. (Psalm 55:22; Matthew 11:28-30; I Peter 5:7) 

C. Refuge—The Lord is our hiding place. (Psalm 32:7, 91:2, 119:114) 

D. Friends forsake you—When we face a problem without a friend, we despair. 

When we face a problem with a friend, we are confident. (Job 19:14; 

Hebrews 13:5b) 

E. In His arms—Jesus’ arms denote security and give us the strength to face our 

problems. (Deuteronomy 33:27; Mark 10:16)

A. HOW TO USE THE APPENDIXES 

As we at Church Growth Institute worked with the hundreds of churches 

that used the original Friend Day, we developed a list of things that can be done to 

enhance the success of the program. We also noted some things that should not be done. 

Those lists are printed in Appendix 1. Appendix 2 contains a list of additional activities 

that some churches used to complement the program. 

Things To and Not To Do 

POINTERS ON USING FRIEND DAY 

Research and the experience of churches that have used the original Friend Day 

program have shown that the success of the campaign depends upon doing some things 

and not doing others. Following is a list of things that should or should not be done: 

� Follow the instructions in the packet as closely as possible. This is especially 

important when doing the follow-up. The instructions are based on years of research 

and have been tested and proven effective in thousands of churches. 

� Schedule the campaign for the spring or fall. Studies have shown that these are the 

peak attendance times at most churches. 

� Don't have Friend Day on time change Sunday in the spring when everyone has lost 

an hour of sleep changing to Daylight Savings Time. However, the best time to 

schedule the campaign in the fall is on time change Sunday. 

� Don't have Friend Day on Easter, Mother's Day or any holiday. No one will be 

available to do the follow-up because most people spend these afternoons with their 

families. The best day in the spring to have Friend Day is the Sunday before Easter. 

It is much easier then to get people back the next week. 

� Don't have Friend Day on a rainy day. Early in the campaign, begin praying for fair 

weather so friends will not have an excuse to stay at home. 

� Make it a major strategy to promote Friend Day through the Sunday School and then 

try to get the friends to attend the worship service. 

� Instruct members to invite only unsaved/unchurched friends. As a result, those who 

need to hear the Gospel message the most will hear it, your members won't be pulled 

away from your church to repay the visit to their friend's church when they have a 

special day, and your church will not be suspected of luring members from other 

churches to increase your rolls. 

� Don't set goals for attendance. You set yourself up for disappointment if the goal is 

not reached. Set input goals (the number of visitors you want to invite), but not 

output goals (the number of visitors you expect to attend). Friend Day works with 

this form of motivation so why include the risk of missing if not needed. 

� On Friend Day, don't put any of the visitors on the spot by asking them to give 

remarks during the worship service. 

� Don't schedule anything on the church calendar for the week after Friend Day. You 

will need the free time to do the follow-up. 

� Don't have a visiting minister preach the Friend Day sermon. You want the visitors 

to have as much contact with the pastor as possible. Besides, if the visiting minister

is a dynamic speaker, the visitors will be disappointed the next week if the pastor is 

not an even better speaker. 

� When evaluating the effectiveness of Friend Day, count attendance in the church, as 

well as the Sunday School, because the majority of the first-time visitors will attend 

the worship service. Keep records for comparison with past and future attendance 

levels. Keep records on attendance for several months after Friend Day to determine 

if the program contributed to lasting growth. 

So You Won't Be Surprised 

For your peace of mind, here are some things to expect that research and 

experience have proven to be true: 

� The larger and older the church, the smaller the percentage of attendance growth on 

Friend Day. A 25 percent increase is average for larger churches. Smaller churches 

could experience as much as a 100 percent increase in attendance when compared to 

other Sundays. However, many churches have reported as much as a 300 percent 

increase. 

� Few people will join the church or receive Christ on Friend Day. This is because 

most people need to hear the Gospel three times or be contacted seven times before 

they will make a commitment. This principle is called The Law of Three Hearings 

and Seven Touches. 

� The Sunday School rolls will not swell instantly as a result of Friend Day. Though a 

major part of the effort came from the Sunday School, most of the visitors will join 

the church first and then must be worked back into the Sunday School. 

SUCCESSFUL IDEAS FROM CHURCHES 

Many churches that used the original Friend Day program wrote to tell us about 

preparatory steps they took or additional activities they used to complement the program. 

Below is a list of those steps and activities; credit is given to the submitting church(es). 

The result of all the activities is that they either created more enthusiasm among 

the members or made Friend Day more enjoyable for the visitors. Especially where food 

was served, there was a greater opportunity for the members and the pastor to get to 

know each other’s friends. We hope that some of these activities might be adaptable to 

your church. 

� Without announcing any theme, Central Advent Christian Church in Lenoir, NC 

(Marshall Tidwell, Pastor) challenged members to pray three times a day for the 

Sunday School to double the annual average. At the end of 6 weeks of fervent 

praying, Rev. Tidwell announced the Friend Day campaign and asked the people to 

“put arms and legs on their prayers (by inviting specific friends) and keep praying.” 

� Southside Baptist Church in Shelbyville, TN (Mike Gass, Pastor) advertised via a 

billboard.

� New Life Presbyterian Church in Frenchtown, NJ (Bill Slack, Pastor) had members 

car pool, and requested that those who drove park in the back of the lot to leave room 

for visitors. 

� Parma Heights Baptist Church in Cleveland, OH (Dr. John F. Thielenhaus, Senior 

Minister) printed the bookmark on colored paper, laminated it, punched a hole in the 

top, and inserted a purple tassel in the hole. They also gave children who turned in 

friendly contracts (“Yes” cards) a dove, cross, or anchor lapel pin. 

� Cumberland Church of God in Cumberland, NC (James W. Wilson, Pastor) and 

Thomas Road Baptist Church in Lynchburg, VA (Jerry Falwell, Pastor) converted the 

friendly contract into a visitor card. Cumberland Church of God also held a 

Fellowship Breakfast before Sunday School on Friend Day. 

� Vicki Hubbard, a member of Woodlawn Free Will Baptist Church in Russellville, AR 

(Levan Hubbard, Pastor), wrote a Friend Day skit to stimulate members' thoughts on 

who to invite (see Skit). 

� Darlene Blackman wrote a poem on friends (see Poem). 

� Charles D. King, pastor of Riverside Tabernacle Church in Port Huron, MI, wrote a 

Friend Day song (see Song). 

� Elmo Parish, pastor of Calvary Baptist Church in Lakeport, CA, wrote a Friend Day 

song (see Song 2). 

� Surprise Christian Church in Seymour, IN (Larry Morris, Pastor) had special singing 

from three church choirs and a drama presentation by its youth group. 

� For Children's Church, Pilgrim Baptist Church in Middleboro, MA (Gary Meadows, 

Pastor) had Smokey the Bear make an appearance. 

� Mayetta Community Church in Mayetta, KS (Jon Hanna, Minister) served potluck 

dinner on Friend Day with visitors as guests. 

� Spring Mill Baptist Church in Conshohocken, PA (Rogers Bowyer, Pastor) served a 

fellowship meal after the morning service. 

� First Advent Christian Church in Concord, NC (Louis Dodd, Pastor) served dinner on 

the grounds after the morning service. They ended the day with a songfest featuring 

special music by the adult choir and church trio. 

� First General Baptist Church in Piggott, AK (Michael Sutton, Pastor) prepared for 

extra people, but did not change their style of worship. They said, “We were 

ourselves because our friends needed to see us as we are.” 

� First Baptist Church of West Hollywood in Hollywood, FL (V. S. Ackerman, Pastor) 

printed week-by-week instructions from the master calendar for its Sunday School 

teachers. 

� Heritage Baptist Church in Lynchburg, VA (Dr. Gerald Kroll, Pastor) held a room 

decorating contest (children's dolls and bears were placed on shelves in the 

classrooms). 

� Calvary Baptist Church in Uniontown, PA (Dave Brown, Pastor) gave each family 

the opportunity to have a free portrait made by a photographic studio.

� Various churches promoted Friend Day by printing the logo on different media 

(mugs, glasses, plates, and bags). 

FRIEND DAY SKIT 

Vicki Hubbard 

We at Woodlawn are having Friend Day on March 27, 1988. Each member is 

being encouraged to bring a friend. So . . . after much urging from my pastor and Sunday 

School Superintendent, I began to look around and saw that I really didn't have too many 

friends . . .. But I had a lot of potential! 

First, I noticed my trash man. He came early Monday morning at 6:30. He 

banged my trashcans around and woke up all the neighborhood dogs and then forgot to 

put the lid back on my trashcan. (By the way, I found it a block-and-a-half up the street.) 

But as I saw him Monday, I began to realize . . . hey, this man has carried off every piece 

of trash my family's made for two years at least I could invite him to be my friend on 


After I sent my husband off to work and rushed the children off to catch the 

school bus, I sat down to relax over a cup of coffee. As soon as I did, I heard the 

mailman delivering our mail. Suddenly, it occurred to me . . . hey, this man has delivered 

every dun from every department store we've ever shopped at. He has brought letters 

from home, announcements of good news, invitations to happy occasions and even the 

registered letter from the IRS . . . Come to think of it . . . HE KNOWS US PRETTY 

WELL! (Too well.) Anyway, he's seen me almost daily for years. He knows me . . . I 

know him . . . so why not invite him to Friend Day?

OOPS! The phone is ringing now. It's my son’s teacher from the elementary 

school. Do I realize Joey forgot his lunch? Would I like her to let him charge it today, 

and bring the money to repay her tomorrow? Sure! I said. I appreciate your helpfulness; 

you're really a good friend. And speaking of friends next Sunday, March 27, is Friend 

Day at Woodlawn Free Will Baptist Church where Joey and I attend. Would you like to 

come with us and be our friend? Oh great! I'd appreciate it and I think you would really 

enjoy it! 

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! Oh no! I wonder who that could be? OH, good 

morning Dennis how are you? No, Dennis, I'm much too busy to play cowboys and 

Indians with you. No, Dennis, I don't have any odd jobs you could do for extra money. 

Yes, Dennis, I'm sure your dad COULD beat up my dad. No, my dad is not a chicken, 

but he's not a troublemaker either. Dennis, GO PLAY with your friends! I really have 

some work to be done. You DO have, some friends don't you? Now GO! (Pause for a 

few seconds). 

Oh, wait Dennis. Come back a minute. I'm sorry I was so rude. Are we still 

friends? Good! Now Dennis, do you go to church anywhere? You don't? Would you be 

my friend and go to church with me on Friend Day? You would? That's great, and sure 

you can bring your sister. The more the merrier! 

I went off to the grocery store, walking on cloud nine. I had three potential 

friends for Sunday. Things were looking up! At the grocery store I ran into Lucy and 

Ethel. I hadn't seen them in years. In fact, probably not since our last high school 

reunion five years ago. (Ethel had gained a little weight so she looked real spiffy - but 

that Lucy, why - I know good and well her hair is NOT REALLY red. I bet she got that 

from a bottle of Loving Care. Anyway, we talked for 40 minutes and right there in the 

aisle, between the spaghetti sauce and the pork-n-beans, I asked them to come with me to 

Friend Day. Now who would have thought a grocery-shopping trip would be so 

productive? 

Anyway, after I put my groceries away, I rushed off to the beauty parlor. (I 

needed to touchup MY gray, too. After all I gotta look as good as Ethel and Lucy on 

Sunday). Anyway, while I was sitting under the dryer, I heard my beautician pouring out 

her heart about how badly her husband was treating her. That poor soul, she said he was 

mean to her and talked terrible to her and the dirty rotten rascal never EVER remembers 

her Birthday or Anniversary . . . (whispering) and now they're expecting their first child. 

You know she could really use a friend. She needs someone to listen to her. She really 

needs the Lord! 

Dear Lord, as I look back over today, from the trash man, the mailman, Joey's 

teacher, little Dennis, to Ethel and Lucy and my beautician, I realize I've got potential 

friends everywhere. And Lord, they ALL need you. They all need a friend that sticks 

closer than a brother. So Lord, help me to be a friend and bring them to Friend Day. 

Who knows? This might be the day my friends could remember for eternity! 

This skit is narrated while others play the roles silently.

FRIEND DAY SONG 

(Tune: “Down By the Riverside”) 

Well come on people let's all go 

to the Friendly Riverside 



Well come on people let’s all go 


Tabernacle Church of God 

Well, you can always find a friend 

at the Friendly Riverside 

the Friendly Riverside 


Well, you can always find a friend 

At the Friendly Riverside 


And you can always clap your hands 




Well, you can always clap your hands 



Charles D. King 

Riverside Tabernacle Church of God 

Port Huron, MI 

FRIEND DAY 

(Tune: “Sunlight”) 

Friend Day, Friend Day in our Sunday School, 

Friend Day, Friend Day, by the Golden Rule, 

I will do for them what they would do for me, 

Then we can be friends for all eternity. 

Rev. Elmo Parrish 

Calvary Baptist Church 

Lakeport, CA

Coloring Book for use with the children's lessons. 

NOTE TO TEACHERS 

This coloring book is a supplement to The Second Friend Day resource packet. 

The text that corresponds to the "Remembering Our Lesson" review is in the Children’s 

Lesson Section of the packet. 

Hello Boys and Girls, 

INTRODUCTION TO CHILDREN 

What do you think of when you hear the word friend? Do you think of a pal, of 

warmth, good times, love, and sharing? During the next five weeks, we will learn what 

makes a friend. And we will also learn about some Bible people who showed how good 

a friend they were to their friends. In our final lesson we will learn who is the best friend 

of all, not only to boys and girls like you, but to grown-ups like me, too. Can you guess 

who that friend is? 

I hope you learn from these lessons how to be a better friend, and if you do not 

have the very best friend - Jesus - I pray you accept Him into your heart. God bless you. 

Your friend, 

Aunt Sharon

A FRIEND LOVES AT ALL TIMES 

Write answers to the questions below in the blanks. 

Who stole the traveler's clothes? _____________________________________________ 

What was the name of the road on which he traveled?_____________________________ 

Was it dangerous?_________________________________________________________ 

How many people saw the hurt man, but did not help him?_________________________ 

What makes their not helping him so bad?______________________________________ 

Was the Samaritan a good man or a bad man?___________________________________ 

Name two things he did to help the hurt man.___________________________________ 

Did the Jews like the Samaritans?____________________________________________ 

Did the Samaritan know the hurt man?_________________________________________ 

Does a friend love you some of the time or all of the time?_________________________

A FRIEND PROTECTS YOU 

Write True or False in the blanks before these sentences. 

Jonathan tried to kill David. 

David played the harp. 

The Philistines were King Saul's enemies. 

Jonathan stood up for David four times. 

David and Jonathan promised to be friends forever. 

Friends say bad things about each other. 

Write answers to these questions in the blanks. 

What did David do in the king's court?_________________________________________ 

________________________________________________________________________ 

What did Jonathan give David to show his friendship?____________________________ 

Why was King Saul jealous of David?_________________________________________ 

________________________________________________________________________ 

Name the prophet who said that David would be king.____________________________ 

Who planned to kill David?_________________________________________________ 

What made him change his evil plans?_________________________________________ 

________________________________________________________________________ 

What signal meant that David could come to the palace again?______________________ 

________________________________________________________________________

ANDREW BRINGS PETER TO JESUS 

Circle the true sentences below. 

The person who wins souls is wise. 

John the Baptist preached to the people after Jesus did. 

The disciple John spent the day with Jesus. 

Jesus gave Peter the new name Cecil. 

Write answers to the questions below in the blanks provided. 

What did John the Baptist say when he saw Jesus?_______________________________ 

________________________________________________________________________ 

What was Andrew's brother's name?__________________________________________ 

What does the name Cephas mean? ___________________________________________ 

What does it mean to win souls?______________________________________________ 

________________________________________________________________________ 

Match the names below with the correct description. 

John the Baptist Another name for Peter 

Jesus Andrew's brother 

Peter The Lamb of God 

Cephas Was not worthy to untie Jesus' shoestrings

CORNELIUS BRINGS HIS FAMILY AND 

FRIENDS TO HEAR PETER 

Write Yes or No in the blanks before these sentences. 

The Italian Army captain's name was Cornelius. 

An angel told Cornelius to send for the Apostle Paul. 

Peter would not go with the men. 

Write an answer to these questions. 

What did Peter see in his dream? _____________________________________________ 

________________________________________________________________________ 

Who told Peter to go with the men?___________________________________________ 

________________________________________________________________________ 

Was Cornelius a Jew?______________________________________________________ 

What happened when Peter preached to Cornelius and his family and friends?_________ 

________________________________________________________________________ 

Why did God through the Holy Spirit send Peter to Cornelius? (See the memory verse.) 

________________________________________________________________________ 

Fill in the words that are missing from the memory verse. 

_______ _______ is ____________ willing that __________ should _______________.

JESUS DIED FOR US 

Write answers to the questions below in the blanks provided. 

Who is the friend who sticks closer than a brother? ______________________________ 

________________________________________________________________________ 

What is the greatest way one can show his love for his friend? _____________________ 

________________________________________________________________________ 

For whom did Jesus die? ___________________________________________________ 

How can we show that we love Jesus?_________________________________________ 

________________________________________________________________________ 

Did Jesus treat the disciples like servants or like friends? __________________________ 

________________________________________________________________________ 

What was Jesus' last command to his disciples?__________________________________ 

________________________________________________________________________ 

Write the missing vowels from the memory verse. 

Th__r__ __s __ fr__ __nd th__t st__ck__th cl__s__r 

Th__n __ br__th__r.

CONTENTS 

CHAPTER 1 WHY CHRISTIANS SHOULD HAVE FRIENDS 

CHAPTER 2 GOD'S FRIENDSHIP VERSUS HUMAN FRIENDSHIPS 

CHAPTER 3 CHRISTIANS HELP THEIR FRIENDS 

CHAPTER 4 FRIENDS WHO HELP US 

CHAPTER 5 WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE JESUS FOR A FRIEND

CHAPTER ONE 

WHY CHRISTIANS SHOULD HAVE FRIENDS 

Friends make us well rounded. Therefore, Christians should have friends because 

it will help them grow. Even though there are some monks who feel they must live 

alone, the well-rounded Christian will have friends. Some people are characterized as 

"Lone Ranger Christians" because they do not know how to work or live with other 

Christians. But this is not biblical. A Christian will learn from others and will help 

others. Following are eight benefits the Christian gains from having friends. 

1. A Christian with friends knows himself. The person who does not have 

friends probably does not understand himself as well as the person who has many friends. 

FRIENDS ARE MIRRORS. Just as a mirror shows the teenager his acne or the middleaged 

person his gray hair, friends show us ourselves. Because friends mirror blemishes 

as well as strengths, they help us see ourselves as we really are. "Iron sharpeneth iron; so 

a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend" (Proverbs 27:17). 

2. A Christian with friends is a giver. The person without friends usually 

goes through life as a consumer, without ever learning to give or be a producer. 

FRIENDS ARE GIVERS. When a person enters a friendship, he will give something to 

the other person. One of the things we give is advice. "Ointment and perfume rejoice the 

heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel" (Proverbs 27:9). 

Friendship is unselfish; it thinks of the other person. The Bible says, "Give, and it 

shall be given unto you" (Luke 6:38). All that we give to our friends comes back to us. 

When we give them love, affirmation, or happiness, they give the same to us. 

3. A Christian with friends is open. The person without friends probably 

wears a mask. But when a person has friends, he communicates freely with them. 

FRIENDS ARE OPEN. But what about those who wear a mask? A mask is worn to 

protect our weaknesses. When we are lonely or when we have pain, we wear a mask so 

people will not know us or hurt us. 

The first step to becoming strong is to be aware of our weaknesses. When a man 

knows that he does not have a strong body, he is motivated to exercise and eat properly. 

The first step to strengthening our personality is to take off our masks and be honest 

about our weaknesses. 

Friends never rip a mask off because skin usually comes off with it. Friends help 

one another take the mask off slowly. When I was a young boy, my mother took Band- 

Aids off my skin very slowly. Because I, like most boys, would yell when a Band-Aid 

came off, mother seemed to take all afternoon slowly taking it off one millimeter at a 

time. Love is slow. Love will not intentionally hurt another. "Faithful are the wounds of 

a friend" (Proverbs 27:6). 

4. A Christian with friends is growing. The person without friends grows 

slowly and may be stunted. Why? Because they do not have someone to help them grow 

in Christ. FRIENDS ARE SUPPORTERS. To have a Christian friend is to grow in 

Christ. A businessman once told me, "I cannot afford friends in my business." Truly he

was a lonely man. He put his priority on his business, rather than on the life that God had 

given him to live. 

Where weak people hide, friends are open, which is a basis for growth. Friends 

recognize our weaknesses and help us strengthen them. A friend will never take 

advantage of the other person. "A friend loveth at all times" (Proverbs 17:17). 

5. A Christian with friends is durable. The person without friends usually 

has not learned to get along with others. They have to be treated specially. FRIENDS 

ARE ALLWEATHER LUGGAGE. They wear well and do not have to be handled with 

kid gloves. Diplomacy is the language of strangers, whereas honesty is the language of 

friends. 

6. A Christian with friends understands people. The person without friends 

thinks that everyone is the same and everyone relates to people in the same way. He 

thinks everyone is a rat, and everyone is out to get him. Or he thinks everyone is as nice 

as Alice in Wonderland. He has never learned that people have their good days and their 

bad ones. He has never learned that people, like batteries, have two poles. They have a 

sinful nature, but they can have a new nature. FRIENDS ARE TOLERANT. A good 

friend will trust the differences in the other person because he knows their strengths. 

Because of this, he does not expect his friend to respond as he does to circumstances, 

events, and others. Job said, "One should be kind to a thinking friend" (Job 6:14 LB). 

7. A Christian with friends is a good listener. Have you ever met someone 

who does all the talking and never takes time to listen to you? That means he probably 

does not have a friend anywhere with whom he communicates. FRIENDSHIP IS A 

TWO-WAY STREET. We must give when talking with friends. We talk for a while, 

and then we listen. This is not a technique for conversation. We listen because we are 

interested in our friend. 

All of us need a friend to whom we can go in any situation, a friend to whom we 

can talk about winning and just be ourselves in our moment of victory. A true friend 

accepts our boasting without belittling or envying our success. They do not play oneupmanship, 

but rejoice with us, listen to our "bragging," understand the truth, and remain 

our friend. "A man that hath friends must show himself friendly" (Proverbs 18:24). 

8. A Christian with friends is sensitive. Every once in a while we meet 

people who are hardened and crusty. They do not listen, they do not care, and they never 

help anyone else. They live in a shell. FRIENDS ARE SENSITIVE. A true friendship 

is a give-and-take relationship. We become sensitive to the other person, as they become 

sensitive to us. 

Friendship cannot be forced; it must be received. Therefore, we must be sensitive 

to receive what is given to us, as the other person takes what we give. We can "fall into 

love" but we cannot "fall into friendship." There is no "friendship at first sight," even 

though there is "love at first sight." 

Friendship comes slowly; enemies happen suddenly. A broken dream, or the 

sudden realization of a lie will make enemies out of friends. However, just telling the 

truth to a person will not suddenly make them a friend. Friendship is a shared experience 

that is developed over a period of time. And here is how to measure it. The greatest love 

is shown when a person "lays down his life for his friends" (John 15:13 LB).

CHAPTER TWO 

GOD'S FRIENDSHIP VERSUS HUMAN FRIENDSHIPS 

Most people do not think about the theory of friendship or worry about what 

spoils friendship, they just enjoy their friends and feel deeply when their friends forsake 

them. 

In this chapter we will attempt to understand the nature of friendship by analyzing 

some of the myths that abound about it. We will also compare these myths with what the 

Bible says about God's friendship. 

1. Friends know all about us. This is not a true statement because no one 

knows all about us. Yes, some friends know about one area of our life. Other friends 

know about another area of our life. And still other friends know about many areas of 

our life, but no one knows all about us, not even our best friend. In addition, a friend 

may be blind to some of our weaknesses, or they may know about them and not care. 

GOD'S FRIENDSHIP 

God knows all about us when none of our friends do. God sees us inwardly; they 

see us outwardly. Friends see the results of our actions, but they do not always 

understand our motives. God not only sees us inwardly, He understands our motives, and 

He knows our attitudes: "The Lord said unto Samuel, look not on his countenance, or on 

the height of his stature... for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the 

outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart" (I Samuel 16:7). 

2. A true friend is forever. True friendships may last forever, but a true 

friendship can also be temporary. For example, some of us had a deep friendship in high 

school and yet we grew apart. They went their way, and we went our way. With growth, 

our needs change and our lifestyle changes. When friends do not grow with us and 

change with us, we do not continue to have things in common. But that does not mean 

they were never our friends. 

When a couple attends the Young Marrieds Class in Sunday School, they make 

friends with other young couples who have just married. However, when a baby is added 

to their life, their whole world changes, and they have little in common with a childless 

couple. 

On the road of life, friends may take different paths. Sometimes our jobs lead us 

apart, sometimes our children, and other times our interests. Not all of our current friends 

will remain close to us. Some of them will move away physically; others will move 

away mentally, and some may even turn on us because they are jealous or because we 

have offended them. 

As we look at friendship we must also realize that there are time-limited 

friendships and place-limited friendships. These friendships are deep and satisfying for a 

period of time. For example, two men who were drafted into the Army at the same time 

go through basic training together and form a relationship because of their experiences. 

However, when their tour of duty is complete and one goes into banking and the other 

becomes a plumber, they have few things to share.


God's friendship is forever, even when some of our friends fail us or leave us. 

Perhaps the lesson to be learned is that "there is a friend that sticketh close than a 

brother” (Proverbs 18:24). Jesus Christ has always been our friend and will always be 

the same (Rev. 1:8). In the Great Commission, He has promised, "Lo, I am with you 

alway" (Matthew 28:20). Abraham was not perfect; he failed God in many ways. But 

God called him His friend. Jesus says the same thing about us: "I call you not servants... 

but I have called you friends" (John 15:15). Jesus is a friend forever. We cannot lose 

eternal life, nor can we lose our relationship with Him. Paul asked the question, "Who 

shall separate us from the love of Christ?" (Romans 8:35). He mentions several things 

that shall not separate us from God, "nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall 

be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 

8:39). Since Jesus Christ sticks closer than a brother, He spans time and distance to help 

us in our times of distress. 

3. Blood is thicker than water. This third myth deals with the intensity of 

our relationships. Some think that our relatives are closer than our friends. This may be 

true for some people, but it is not true for many others. Why? Because involuntary 

friendships are not forced, but we are stuck with our relatives and have to live with them. 

Some family members never forget our mistakes. They remember the dumb 

things we did as a small child, the time we got fired, and the courses we flunked in 

school. And they never let us forget about it, nor do they let anyone else forget. In 

contrast, friends have selective memories. They forget about our mistakes because our 

successes are more important. They are friends because of our strengths. Our friends 

make us feel good about ourselves; they let us grow. However, families neither let us 

grow, nor do they let us go. 


God's friendship is stronger than family ties or earthly friendships. The Gospel 

hymn "Just As I Am" describes our relationship with Him: "Just as I am without one plea, 

but that Thou blood was shed for me..." God accepts us as we are, alienated sinners, and 

makes us what we should be. 

In God's family, we are both relatives and friends. First, we are regenerated as 

His children: "But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of 

God, even to them that believe on his name" (John 1:12). Next, we are adopted as sons. 

This means we are given the legal right of being in God's family with all the privileges 

this implies (see Romans 8:14-17). Finally, we are accepted as friends, for Jesus said, 

"Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you" (John 15:14). 

4. A friend in need is a friend indeed. The meaning of this fourth myth is 

that our friends always come to our rescue when we need them. But that is not always 

true. Some do, while others cannot be counted on. 

When can a friend not help us? Sometimes when we need money, or other times 

when we ask them to do something they cannot do. When we go beyond the limits of 

friendship, we strain the relationship until it breaks. On other occasions, our need is too 

lengthy. There were two secretaries in an office who were good friends. One had

medical knowledge; the other frequently had medical problems. The "sick”' secretary 

was always seeking help from the secretary with the medical knowledge. The friendship 

was strained because her medical needs were too extensive. 


God's friendship is available for every kind of need. We sometimes have 

problems with which our friends cannot help. But we do not have any problems with 

which God cannot help us. First, God promises to help us in prosperity and as we go 

through the valley of the shadow of death. God knows our need before we do. A second 

wonderful thing about God's help is that He knows what to do; He does not guess at 

solutions. And third, God waits and does not push His answers on us. He lets us come to 

Him seeking the answer, and then lets us apply it to our lives. 

5. Friends are “likes that attract like." This myth means that we are just like 

our friends. But that is not always true. A young mother had two friends, yet both were 

entirely different. One friend was a housekeeping perfectionist. When she went over for 

coffee, every cup, napkin, and spoon was in place. The kitchen was immaculate. The 

next morning she met her second friend. At her house dishes were in the sink, the beds 

were not made, and the children drank from mugs in a kitchen where the breakfast dishes 

had not been cleared away. The young mother was comfortable with both friends. Why? 

Because each brought out a different side of her personality. One friend made her feel 

sophisticated and accepted in a fashionable world. The other made her feel comfortable 

and at ease. Yet, these two did not like each other. 


God is our friend because we are like Him. The Bible teaches that man is made in 

the image of God: "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have 

dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and 

over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God 

created man in His own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female 

created he them" (Genesis 1:26-27). Because we are like God, we mirror His person. 

God has intellect, emotion, and will, and so do we because we were made in the image of 

God. But since the fall of Adam, we are unlike God in one important respect. God is 

holy; we are sinful. Still God loves us, for "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" 

(Romans 5:8).

CHAPTER THREE 

CHRISTIANS HELP THEIR FRIENDS 

Usually, we do not form a friendship to help the other person. Friends take one 

another for what they are, and usually will not try to improve their buddies. That is what 

makes friendship so great. There is no pressure to improve, and there are no strings 

attached. However, in every relationship there comes a time when a good friend must 

help his buddy. We can anonymously send them a package of roll-on deodorant rather 

than talk about perspiration or we can offer them a breath mint. But suppose they do not 

take the hint? Following are suggestions on how to help your friends. 

1. Be an example of what you expect. You teach your friends what you 

know, and you reproduce in their life what you are. If we are role models for our friends, 

we may be able to help them in their Christian walk. Paul was a role model to young 

Timothy and to those in the new churches that he planted. He told them, "Be ye followers 

of me, even as I also am of Christ" (I Corinthians 11:1 and Phillipians 3:17). Paul's life 

exemplified commitment to the cause of Christ despite persecution (2 Corinthians 11:22- 

33; 12:10), refusal to become entangled with the attractions of this present world, 

contentment with such things as he had (Phillipians 4:11; II Timothy 2:3-4), and holiness 

(abstaining from evil and fleeing from even any appearance of it (I Thessalonians 5:22; II 

Timothy 2:22)). 

A good friend will also exemplify considerateness. He will take into 

consideration what his friend knows, feels, and wants. Proverbs 27:14 warns about not 

considering the feelings of others when it says, "He that blesseth his friend with a loud 

voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him." Before we 

enthusiastically begin our own program, we must consider where our friend is, and act 

accordingly, lest our well-intended actions fall at such an inappropriate time that they are 

taken for curses. For our instruction, Matthew 7:12 counsels, 'Therefore all things 

whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law 

and the prophets." 

A good friend will also demonstrate a deep commitment and an abiding loyalty. 

They will stand by their friend in good times and bad. Jonathan was such a friend to 

David, remaining his friend despite his father's displeasure at their friend,hip. And 

Barnabas was such a friend to Paul (Acts 11:25-26). When the other apostles avoided 

Paul, Barnabas sought him out and spent a year working with him. 

2. Encourage and motivate them. The best way to help a friend is to "stretch 

their dreams" of what they can do and what they can become. We may have to motivate 

them. When we let them know how they must improve, and then give them methods, we 

have helped them. 

We should treat our friends like winners, putting a "10" on their foreheads. This 

simply means that we look at them as though they have the potential to be the best. Too 

often we look at people and size them up with a low number. When we do that, they 

respond according to our assessment. When we put a " 10" on our friends' foreheads and 

think the best of them, they will usually try harder just to please us. 

There are four steps to motivating our friends. First, we must appreciate them. 

Second, we must anticipate what they can do. Third, we must recognize their

accomplishments and be quick to point out their past track record, for it is an indicator of 

what they can accomplish in the future. Finally, the fourth step, we must accept them as 

they are, even though we are trying to correct them. 

3. Let them talk about their problem. When we are trying to help a friend, 

the best thing we can do is let them talk. When they ventilate their feelings by telling us 

their problem, we have three things on the table. First, we know what they are thinking. 

Second, we know what they are feeling. Third, we know what they want. 

Because we love them, we listen to them. We do not interrupt, nor do we act as 

the "pseudo" counselor, trying to use questions to get to the problem. And we do not 

analyze their problem because we know our analysis is not needed. 

Why do we let them talk? First, because if they do not get their problem out in 

the open, it will color the rest of their perspective. Our friend will continue to look at life 

through the problem (making them a pessimist) rather than looking at life through their 

potential (which is being an optimist). Secondly, we let them talk because if they do not 

see their problem, they will not be able to deal with the real issue. Too many times 

problems keep us on the periphery, and we deal with peripheral issues rather than the real 

issue involved. The final reason we let them talk is because problems become barriers to 

good mental health. They create negative feelings, bitterness, and frustration. Our friend 

needs to see their problem through our eyes. Finally, we let them talk because it helps 

them face their problem, and when they do they gain the confidence needed to search for 

an answer. 

4. Give them wise counsel. This is touchy. How do we tell a friend that he is 

wrong, that he has to improve, or that he should change his plan of action? We should 

not counsel our friends on some problems. We should overlook minor things that do not 

have long-range implications. However, at other times we must face our friends with an 

issue. Honesty demands that we tell the truth; love demands that we tell it carefully. 

Telling the truth carefully is like a mother putting a little sugar in the bad medicine of 

life. 

We should only tell our friend what they can handle. Sometimes they cannot 

handle all of the truth, so we should not dump on them. When we give them more truth 

than they can handle, rather than helping them up, we have given them a hernia. A 

doctor knows that medicine will help, but he will only give so much at a time. Ten 

treatments of chemotherapy may be needed to deal with cancer, but no doctor would give 

ten treatments in one day. 

Timing is also important when we try to correct a friend. The following 

principles will help. First of all, are they receptive? Giving good advice to a friend who 

will not receive it is like pouring castor oil over the head of a child. Second, we should 

correct our friend when they are optimistic, not depressed. When they are down, they do 

not need more bad news. Third, we should give them correction when they are willing to 

do something about their problem, not when they are rebellious. Fourth and finally, we 

should give them correction when they ask for it. If they never ask for it, we need never 

give it.

CHAPTER FOUR 

FRIENDS WHO HELP US 

Four kinds of friends help us. First, there is the counselor-friend who guides us 

through our problems. Second, there is the hero-friend who motivates us to achieve 

greater things. Third, there is the teacher-friend who instructs us and gives us wisdom. 

And fourth, there is the coach-friend who supports and encourages us. 

A COUNSELOR-FRIEND GUIDES US THROUGH PROBLEMS 

Who is a counselor-friend? These are friends with whom we spend most of our 

time talking. When we are discouraged, they have coffee with us, and when we are 

confused, they sit and listen. They do not always give us advice, but they are there to 

listen. 

As our counselor-friend listens to us, we are able to see ourselves better. They 

allow us to ventilate our feelings to get the bitterness or disappointment out of the way. 

Sometimes we blow off steam to them, but never at them. When we see our anger 

through their eyes, we learn to control it. When we look into a pool, we cannot see if the 

water is clear until we brush away the foam on the top. A counselor-friend helps us push 

away the foam of our anger so we can understand our feelings. 

Our counselor-friends do not condemn us, reject us, or hide the truth from us. 

The counselor-friend is not a professional analyst and does not have a technical 

relationship to us, but nevertheless they help us. They do not pull scabs off our wounds 

and hurt us, but like the Good Shepherd, they anoint our head with oil. Oil soothes, takes 

away the pain, and restores normal functions. So the oil of a counselor-friend is good for 

us and eases the pain of life. 

Blessed is the person who has a counselor-friend, for he has someone to help him 

through the problems of life. 

A HERO-FRIEND MOTIVATES US 

Everyone needs a friend who is a little higher, someone to lift them up. We look 

up to these friends because of their accomplishments, their character, or their skills. We 

want to be like them; thus, they become our role models. A hero-friend is like a radar 

beam to an airplane. They point us to where we want to go. When we zero in on their 

signal, they guide us through the rough spots to our goal in life. 

Sometimes our hero-friend is actually above us. At other times they are our 

equals. No matter where they are, two things are important. First, they are usually where 

we want to be or what we want to be. Second, they relate to us. Therefore, they help us. 

Our hero-friend reflects what we want to become. They motivate us to sacrifice 

and work to become better. Our hero-friend makes us winners. Where a counselorfriend 

supports us in our problems, a hero-friend gives us a dream of solving problems. 

They are different from each other, yet both help in positive ways. 

When we change hero-friends, we are usually changing our life's direction. Our 

hero-friend usually reflects where we will be ten years from now. When we make a hero-

friend of someone with non-Christian attitudes, we are walking away from Jesus Christ. 

When our hero-friend is walking toward Jesus Christ, we are pointed in the right 

direction. 

A hero-friend is usually dedicated to something larger than himself. This is why 

we respect them. Their goodness is measured by the goodness of their task. Sometimes 

our hero-friend is a grandparent, other times a parent, or they may be a band director in 

high school, our shop teacher, or some accomplished musician. When they have skills 

greater than ours, we do not meet them on equal ground. But our hero-friend gives us 

something that is greater than the friendship they share with us. Our hero-friend gives us 

dreams, motivation, and the determination to succeed. 

Blessed is the person who has a hero-friend, for he has dreams. For with dreams, 

there is hope and a future. 

A TEACHER-FRIEND INSTRUCTS US 

The third friend who helps us is our teacher. This individual is not always a 

professional teacher in a public school or college. They may not be a teacher in our 

Sunday School or technical place of instruction. Our teacher-friend instructs us in our 

relationship to them. Teaching is meeting needs. Our teacher-friend meets a deep need 

in our hearts. 

In the counselor-friend relationship, we do most of the talking. However, in the 

teacher-friend relationship, they do most of the talking. Again, our relationship is not an 

equal one. Our teacher-friend usually knows about much more than just the problem of 

the moment; therefore, we receive from them. We may know more about many things 

than our teacher-friend; however, they have expertise in one area, and they use that 

knowledge to help us. To illustrate, take the friendship between a university professor 

who has just gotten saved and a salesman at a hardware store who is his Sunday School 

teacher. Where the university professor has a Ph.D. and is knowledgeable about many 

secular things, the hardware salesman knows the Word of God. Therefore, in this 

relationship the hardware salesman is the teacher, and the Ph.D. is the student. 

A teacher-friend has three functions. First, they tell us facts. For example, they 

may give us facts about flying or facts about the opera. Second, they teach us skills, such 

as knitting, sailing, or working with ceramics. Third, they work on our attitudes. They 

may teach us the Bible, how to live according to its precepts, or how to witness. 

Blessed is the person who has a teacher-friend, for he shall learn. And a learned 

man has a future. 

A COACH-FRIEND SUPPORTS US 

A coach does not guide us through problems. That comes from our counselorfriend. 

A coach does not give us dreams. That comes from our hero-friend. A coach 

does not give us systematic instruction. That comes from our teacher-friend. A coach 

puts us through training and encourages us. 

A coach-friend, like a football coach or a Lamaze coach, may tell us some facts, 

but they deal mostly in the areas of encouragement and support. They take the lessons 

we learn from others and help us make them work. A coach-friend may be somebody

who helps us with our singing technique, the father who helps his son catch a football 

pass, or the mother who coaches her daughter in ladylike behavior. 

A coach-friend will keep us from developing bad habits, making wrong decisions, 

and goofing off when we should be giving our all. They don't relate to us from a 

curriculum (as does the teacher-friend). Rather, they help the immediate situation. Their 

favorite word is now. 

Just as we cannot steer a parked car, so a coach-friend cannot make us a winner. 

However, if we want to be a winner in life, our coach-friend can direct us to that goal. 

Blessed is the person who has a coach-friend to keep him from making mistakes 

and point him to his goals. 

EXAMPLES OF FRIENDS 

Joe and Fred became friends in high school and still get together to watch football 

on T.V. Theirs is an unequal friendship, although they have a strong bond. Joe is a 

medical doctor, has a thriving practice, and takes several vacations each year. Fred never 

got to go to college. Instead, he became a welder and with six kids has a tough time 

financially. 

Fred looks up to Joe as a hero because of his home, cars, and status in the 

community (hero-friendship), yet Joe talks to Fred about his problems with his children, 

his wife, and his cigarette habit. Several times Joe would have left his wife except that 

talking with Fred made him see the problem (counselor-friend) and motivated him to 

work out his differences with his wife (coach-friend). 

Job had three friends who came to comfort him in his time of distress: "Now 

when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every 

one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the 

Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and 

to comfort him" (Job 2:11). 

When the Bible says "mourn with them that mourn," it is describing non-verbal 

support that someone can give us. The friends of Job surely did this: "So they sat down 

with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: 

for they saw that his grief was very great" (Job 2:13). What friends! They sat for seven 

days before they said anything to Job. Then they began to talk, and that is all they did. 

Finally, Job had to turn them off. ". . . for I cannot find one wise man among you' (Job 

17:10). They were friends, but they did not give Job the help he needed. Why? Because 

we have different friends who each help us differently. 

Job's friends came to be counselor-friends but turned into teacher-friends. 

However, he needed coach-friends. 

Jonathan was a friend of David's. Jonathan looked up to David and admired him. 

David had won the victory over Goliath and had rallied the armies of Israel to defeat the 

Philistines. Jonathan knew that David was the hero and he himself was the admirer. He 

also knew that David would one day be king of Israel. Even though Jonathan was the 

rightful heir to the throne because he was Saul's son, David was the anointed one of God. 

Jonathan and David had a "hero-friend" relationship. Even though all that a friend should 

be was personified in Jonathan, theirs was an unequal friendship.

STEPS TO FINDING THE RIGHT FRIEND 

1. Know the strength of a friend and the role he plays. When we expect a 

friend to be our coach and encourage us, but they come to teach us and give us wisdom, 

they have not helped us. That was Job's situation. He needed encouragement from a 

coach, but he got lectures. Rather than helping Job, his friends hurt him. Finally, after 

Job came to recognize the sovereignty of God in his life, "The Lord said to Eliphaz the 

Temanite, my wrath is kindled against thee, and against thy two friends: for ye have not 

spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job hath" (Job 42:7). The Lord 

commanded Eliphaz, “Therefore take unto you now seven bullocks and seven rams, and 

go to my servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and my servant Job 

shall pray for you: for him will I accept: lest I deal with you after your folly, in that ye 

have not spoken of me the thing which is right, like my servant Job" (Job 42:8). Job, who 

needed help from his friends, ended up giving help to his friends. But then an interesting 

thing happened. "And the Lord turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his 

friends: also the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before" (Job 42:10). The friends 

should have helped him, but did not. When Job helped them, the Lord saw Job's 

integrity, took away his affliction, and gave him twice as much as he had before. Surely 

the words of Jesus apply to our friends: "Give and it shall be given unto you" (Luke 

6:38). 

2. Know what to listen to and from whom it comes. All friends will give us 

advice; however, it may not be good advice just because it comes from a friend. We are 

not obligated to take their advice.

CHAPTER FIVE 

WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE JESUS FOR A FRIEND 

The greatest friend to a Christian is Jesus Christ because He can do more for the 

Christian than anyone else on earth. When the Bible says, ". . . there is a friend that 

sticketh closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24), it is describing the friendship of Jesus 

Christ for us. This relationship was fulfilled when Jesus said, "Ye are my friends . . ." 

(John 15:14). Even though He is our Saviour and Coming Lord, we do not have a 

servitude relationship. Jesus said, "Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant 

knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have 

heard of my Father I have made known unto you" (John 15:15). 

JESUS IS A FRIEND WHO HELPS US OVERCOME SIN 

We all sin (see Romans 3:23), and the person who says he does not sin is wrong: 

"If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us" (I John 

1:8). The word sin is singular and means our sinful nature. This means if we deny our 

sinful nature, we do not understand ourselves. But the passage goes a step further. If we 

deny that we do sinful things, we also deny the truth: "If we say that we have not sinned, 

we make him a liar, and his word is not in us" (I John 1:10). The word sinned reflects 

more than one sin; it reflects our acts of sin. 

WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS 

(first verse) 

What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and grief to bear! 

What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer! 

Oh what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear! 

All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer! 

This beloved hymn shows that sin has a cycle. Once we break God's law, it leads 

to inward stress and emotional grief. Next comes pain, both physical and emotional. The 

cycle of sin is broken by Jesus. Once Dear Abby was asked what motivated people to 

write her. She stated that most people just want someone to listen to them and 

understand them. Jesus listens because He is our friend. 

Two types of sin cause our problems. First is the intentional sin. We know what 

we do and we do it anyway. Second is the unintentional sin, sometimes called the sin of 

ignorance. No matter what the motive is for our sin, Jesus is a friend to whom we can go. 

When Jesus bears our sins, He does so on the basis of Calvary. He first forgives our sin 

in salvation. This restores our relationship with God. Second, even if we sin, we are a 

child of God, and our sin will never break our relationship with Him. But it can destroy 

our fellowship with Him. Therefore we need to come to Jesus in prayer. 

Why can we come to Jesus in prayer? Because as friends, we have things in 

common. He understands our sin. The Bible says, " . . but Jesus was in all points 

tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of

grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:15- 

16). 

President Theodore Roosevelt once said, "The most important ingredient in life is 

knowing how to get along with our friend." That surely is true in our walk with God. 

When we know how to get along with our friend Jesus Christ, nothing else in life matters. 

JESUS IS A FRIEND WHO HELPS US OVERCOME FAILURES 

The second verse of the hymn explains how Jesus helps us with failures. They are 

not the sins mentioned in the first verse, but human frailties. 


(second verse) 

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere? 

We should never be discouraged, take it to the Lord in prayer. 

Can we find a friend so faithful who will al our sorrows share? 

Jesus knows our every weakness, take it to the Lord in prayer. 

We do not like to fail because failure causes us embarrassment and emotional 

hurt. Yet we all fail. We do not reach our dreams, and we do not live up to standards. 

Sometimes we cannot meet our sales quota at work, or we are unable to get all the typing 

done that is required of us. Jesus understands when we fail. 

The cycle of failure would destroy us if we did not have a friend to see us 

through. The Living Bible says, "And one standing alone can be attacked and defeated, 

but two can stand back and conquer" (Ecclesiastes 4:12). 

Two things have the potential to make us fail. First, there are trials that come 

from God. This is an experience to determine our strength. The Bible states, "My 

brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations" (James 1:2). We will all be 

tried. The Underwriters Laboratory tests electrical equipment, not to break it, but to 

determine its quality. God tries us to determine our quality. When trials come, we yell, 

“Why me? Why now? Why this?" But we have a friend who helps us in our trials. We 

can share our trials with Jesus, and lie will encourage us. 

However, there is a second source of potential failure-temptations to pull us 

down. Where a trial from God is designed to strengthen our weakest point so that He can 

use us, a temptation from Satan is intended to destroy us. If we give in to temptation, it 

does more than hurt our relationship with God. It hurts us so that we have sorrows. 

JESUS IS A FRIEND WHO HELPS US OVERCOME PROBLEMS 

A friend is there when we need him. Jesus is omnipotent. He can help us 

overcome our problems. 


(third verse)

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care? 

Precious Saviour, stiff our refuge, - take it to the Lord in prayer. 

Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? Take it to the Lord in prayer; 

In His arms He’ll take and shield thee, thou wilt find a solace there. 

This third verse does not deal with sins or failures. Those are past negative 

events. Jesus helps us with ongoing problems. Like stones in our running shoes, these 

problems give us constant irritation until we remove them. 

We can't be like the frog that eats everything that bugs him. We endure problems 

and if possible, solve them. Jesus is our friend because He helps us do this. When we 

bring our problems to Him, he helps us see them through His eyes. With a biblical 

perspective, we have a better chance of properly solving our dilemmas. 

Since our problems can't change, we have to change our attitude. Therefore, we 

must take the attitude that we will deal with our problems. Jesus will help us. The 

songwriter says, "In His arms He'll take and shield thee." What does this security do for 

us? It gives us confidence. When we face a problem without a friend, we usually 

despair. But when we face a problem with a friend, we have confidence. The psalmist 

says, "I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge" (Psalm 91:2). The security we have in 

Jesus gives us the strength to face our problems.

TABLE OF CONTENTS 

Your Salvation 

1. Accepting the Saviour..........................................10 

2. Knowing You Are Saved.....................................18 

3. Finding the Will of God.......................................25 

Your Daily Walk With God 

4. Mastering the Bible..............................................32 

5. Getting Answers to Prayer...................................40 

6. Using Your Spiritual Gifts...................................50 

Your Victory Over Sin 

7. Dealing with Sin ..................................................56 

8. Overcoming Temptation ......................................65 

9. Power for Living .................................................75 

Your Growth and Character 

(Faith, Hope and Love) 

10. Becoming Faithful................................................83 

11. Learning to Love..................................................91 

12. Having Hope ........................................................98

PREFACE 

People like fresh things . . . fresh fruit . . . fresh mornings . . . fresh air. When you 

become a Christian you have a fresh new life. A friend recently paraphrased II Corinthians 5:17: 

"If any person is in Christ, he is a creation of God; all things are fresh and new.” 

Now you need to grow. You can't hear growth nor see it in progress. Growth is quiet like 

the lawn. You can't see grass grow but the pile of clippings in the drive convinces you of its 

growth. The first section of this book is designed to help you grow. 

The next section will help you walk with God. Receiving Christ is just the beginning of a 

lifelong journey. You have left the starting block, now go on for God. 

Don't carry garbage into your new life. The third section tells you how to throw away all 

the habits that made you a failure. Since you have the opportunity to start life anew, make the 

most of it. Don't park at yesterday's corner. 

The last section deals with your character. A friend who has trouble with his temper 

recently prayed, "Lord, help me be cool - it's so easy to get hot." He wanted self-control which is 

foundational to becoming a well-rounded person. 

May this book help you to grow in Christ. Read each chapter carefully and look up the 

Scripture references. May you enjoy your fresh, you life just as thousands before you who have 

received Christ. And, like them, may you walk with God. 

- ELMER TOWNS

Introduction 

A FRESH START IN LIFE 

A Personal Testimony* 

When I was twelve, I really wanted to do whatever you were supposed to do "to get right 

with God." I didn't love God, but I had a deep respect for Him. 

At that time my family was going to a church where the main emphasis seemed to be that 

you had to be baptized for remission of sins. I thought that if I was baptized, everything would 

be okay - that would make me a Christian and that's what "good people" were. 

The important thing seemed to be baptized, but I was afraid to get up in front of all those 

people and I didn't want to get wet and ugly. We were told that Jesus had died for our sins, but I 

really didn't think I was a sinner because I'd always tried to be a good person. 

I knew the procedure from watching from the pew on Sunday 'Mornings. The minister 

would ask for people to come forward. I don't remember how he did it, or what he said, but I 

knew once you were up there, he'd ask you if you believed Jesus was the Son of God. You 

would say yes and get baptized. It all went very quickly. The congregation waited while you put 

on a robe; then you were brought into the baptistry and submerged before them. So I went 

forward, said yes and was baptized. 

I also found out afterwards that in being baptized I had become a member of the church, 

but I really didn't care about that at the time. I was just relieved to have the whole experience 

over. Now I felt like an official "Christian." 

I did have a pretty white Bible with my name on it that I enjoyed carrying around at 

church. I still didn't read my Bible and couldn't understand it. My major experience with Bibles 

had been memorizing verses for gold stars when I was younger. 

We didn't spend any more time at church than we had to. We'd go for a morning service 

on Sunday, then leave as quickly as we could get through all the handshaking and smiling. The 

people looked friendly, but I didn't like being there. The outside church door meant freedom. 

Years passed and I was in college. I studied hard and was still a good Christian person, in 

my own mind. However, by this time I wasn't so sure about God, and "Jesus" had become a 

name in history. Just in case, I kept praying and ended the prayer by saying "in Jesus' name." I 

never understood why; it was just a formula. 

*This testimony shows the change that comes from an encounter with Christ.

In college, my friends and I became interested in palm reading, astrology and astroprojection, 

"played" with an Ouija board, knew someone who used Tarot cards, and were 

fascinated by ESP. Two of us signed up to check out the Rosicrucians. We researched 

reincarnation and looked into the Bahai faith. I still considered myself a Christian, but I had no 

idea about what the Bible said. I didn't know then that our extra-curricular interests could be of 

Satan. I didn't even believe there was a real devil. After all, he was a red guy with horns and a 

tail, like kids dressed up on Halloween. . 

I graduated from a state university. I taught first grade for several years and a learning 

disability class for one year. I liked the children, teachers, parents and everyone, but I was really 

restless. 

By now I knew by observation and experience that job security, money, possessions and 

friends were not enough to make me happy. Although I was single, I knew enough married 

friends to see that marriage didn't guarantee happiness. So what was the point of it all? Why 

were we here anyway? 

People thought I was a happy person, but the only time I was really happy was when I was 

alone in the mountains with the quiet and the trees. Even there, the questions kept coming. 

I quit teaching and went back to college, majoring in art. I asked more questions, but no 

one seemed to know satisfactory answers. There were a lot of students doing their own thing and 

going on head trips, but I saw that just doing what you thought you wanted to do didn't really 

make you happy either. 

While I was still enrolled as an art student, my friend Nancy became very depressed. We 

talked a lot, but I couldn't think of any way to help her. Meanwhile, another friend told Nancy 

about a Bible-believing church and sugg6sted the pastor could help her. This seemed like a good 

idea; we sure didn't have any answers. I though if God was real, maybe He would help. 

Nancy talked with the pastor, started going to church and - unknown to me - accepted 

Jesus as Saviour. And she invited me to visit the church. 

Because Nancy was feeling better and the people seemed to be friendly and to care about 

other people, I thought I'd try it. I don't remember what the pastor said that day, but I knew he 

believed what he was preaching. It wasn't a dry lecture - he was actually teaching from the Bible. 

And the Bible didn't seem to be a lot of dry words; it was exciting and the words answered 

questions. I was hungry for more. I hated to leave that day and waited in anticipation for that 

night. Then we found we could come on Wednesday. With Sunday School class, then church in 

the morning and evening, I couldn't seem to get enough. 

A few evenings later, I was alone at home reading, checking the pastor's quotations 

against the Bible I had; I didn't want to be tricked. For the first time I understood how a person 

actually became a Christian! I didn't understand why the Bible said the things it did, I just knew 

it said them. That night I really believed the Bible was from God.

I only knew God as the Father so I talked with Him, reading I John 5:11-13 and I John 

4:23. I read more of the Bible and there was Jesus all over the place. He was really God's Son. I 

didn't know all of that was in the Bible. 

So I sat at the dining room table and said okay to God. The pastor said all you had to do 

to have Jesus come into your life was to ask Him; you didn't have to feel anything, but just know 

that He'd come because He said He would. 

You had to admit you were a sinner and ask Him to forgive you (I John 1:9) and He 

would. I didn't "feel" like a sinner, but the Bible said by God's standards I was, so I asked Him to 

forgive me. To the best of my understanding, I asked Jesus into my life. I was afraid, but I asked 

God to be in charge of everything. I explained to Him that He would have to prove everything to 

me because I knew so little and this was all so new. 

The pastor said you didn't have to feel any-' thing, but I did. I felt relief and I felt 

protected. I felt like I belonged to God and I felt safe from Satan. God had led me right up to the 

-entrance into His family, showed me how to get in, then helped me trust Him so He could come 

into my life and bring me into His Life. He had always been there to help me - I just hadn't 

known it! 

At first the church and the pastor and the fellowship was my lifeline. Gradually, I learned 

to have the Lord teach me directly through His Word, along with life experiences. My church is 

still my favorite place on this earth except for the times I'm alone with the Bible and the Lord. 

When I first asked Jesus into my life and understood that He actually loved me, I hoped 

He would come right away so somehow I could be with Him. Really, the only reason I could see 

for staying on earth was because some other people needed to know about Him. I was ready to 

go. 

Now since I've known the Lord, He's been doing real changing in me. I can see why; I 

needed to be doing some growing and learning. He is still changing me and I am becoming a 

new person. This is the most exciting adventure of all. It is not easy because I try too hard to get 

in the way. I also seem to be fairly stubborn in some areas. 

I've really had some great teaching at the church and I feel my understanding growing. 

The whole process is fantastic and it's Him. One of the best things that has happened is that I am 

now learning to relax a little in Christ and maybe let Him do whatever needs doing a little faster. 

As I said, I'm a real "do it yourself' type, only that's not how He works. 

How can I say thanks for a new life? And where do you begin? I praise the Lord for His 

people and His pastors. I'm glad I had a fresh start in life! All I can say is, Praise the Lord! 

The true story of one who found Christ.

Chapter 1 

ACCEPTING THE SAVIOUR 

During the Second World War, Joel Ortendahl knelt in the bottom of a foxhole. When 

the Germans advanced, he was scared. Remembering enough of the Bible that his grandmother 

had read to him, he received Christ as his Saviour and testifies that he was saved at that moment. 

However, it took him several years before he began to walk with God, and he ultimately became 

a preacher. 

James Mastin sat in New Testament Baptist Church, Miami, with a number of other 

junior boys. A Sunday School teacher asked him if he wanted to go forward. Being 

embarrassed, he went forward, not because he wanted to get saved but because he was taught to 

respond to adults. Even though the motivation was wrong, young James sincerely received the 

Lord and he too became a minister. 

Amanda Horsley described herself as being "on the bottom rung of the ladder of society." 

She drank incessantly in the trailer where she lived back in the woods of Virginia. She 

contemplated suicide and went so far as to take the pistol and go to a small gravel pit where she 

planned to kill herself. She decided instead to give God a chance. For two or three weeks she 

listened to every radio preacher she could find and did everything they all commanded. She 

repeated the "sinner's prayer" but knew in her heart she was not saved. Finally she went to 

Thomas Road Baptist Church, Lynchburg, Virginia, and during the invitation she started forward. 

She later testified, "God saved me as I turned from the pew to walk down the aisle. " Even 

though she repeated again the "sinner's prayer" at the altar, she knew God saved her the moment 

she responded and began to walk forward. The act of faith did it. 

Ruth Jean Forbes received the Lord when she came home from Sunday School where the 

teacher had talked about "having a dirty heart." She wanted Jesus to clean her heart and, as a fiveyearold, 

she knelt by her mother's knee and received Christ as her Saviour. She must have 

known what she was doing because she grew up to live for Christ. 

Each of these stories is different, yet God does not save people differently. Some were 

saved after someone talked with them; others were saved when they were alone. Some listened 

to a sermon; others had not heard a sermon in years. Some were embarrassed; others were afraid. 

What are the ingredients of salvation? Amanda Horsley prayed the right words, but it didn't 

work for her. Why? 

Salvation is as simple as a relationship with Jesus Christ. You put faith in Him. The 

Bible says, "Look and live." When you look to Him to answer your sin problems, you will live 

for eternity. Yet some theologians have made salvation complicated. 

Not every church member will go to heaven, yet most of them have declared their faith. 

"Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not ... in thy name done many wonderful 

works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: Depart from me ye that work 

iniquity" (Matt. 7:22-23). Obviously, some people who think they're going to heaven will not 

make it. They know the religious answers, but that's not enough.

You have saving faith when you know the message of the gospel, your feelings are 

stirred, and you say yes with the will. The three aspects of man's personality—intellect, emotion 

and will—respond to the gospel. 

"Gospel" means good news, and the greatest news ever is that God saves man. The 

gospel has two aspects: propositional truth and personal truth. First, the gospel is God's plan. 

Paul defined it, "I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have 

received, and wherein ye stand; by which also ye are saved.... that Christ died for our sins 

according to the scriptures; and that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according 

to the scriptures" (I Cor. 15:1-4). The gospel simply means the death, burial and resurrection of 

Jesus Christ. We write these truths into our doctrinal statements. Those who agree are usually 

called Christians, but mental agreement with doctrine never prepared a man for heaven. 

The gospel is more than propositional truth; it's personal truth. The gospel is Jesus 

Christ. You do more than give mental assent to the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. 

The gospel becomes effective in your life when Christ comes into your heart. "But as many as 

received him (Christ), to them gave he power to become the sons of God" (Jn. 1:12). 

Some have a correct doctrinal statement but if they do not have the person Jesus Christ in 

their hearts, they are wrong, dead wrong. Others claim to know Jesus as a person, yet when their 

experience is not backed up with correct doctrine, they too are wrong. 

Salvation is pictured as a road and you take steps along this road to get to heaven. Jesus 

said, "Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to 

destruction, and many there be who go in thereat; because strait is the gate, and narrow is the 

way, which leadeth unto life, and few- there be that find it" (Matt. 7:13- 14). In the book of 

Acts, early Christianity was referred to as "the way" (Acts 9:2). It is "the way" to God. 

Approaching God, you must take four steps. You need no more and can take no less. 

1. The first step—Knowing your need. People do not turn to God until they feel a 

"need" for Him. And this compulsion is not felt until they realize that their paths will lead to 

destruction. God says, "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God" (Rom. 3:23). 

The word "all" includes every human of all ages. A minister once tried to convince a small boy 

he was a sinner but he wouldn't admit it. 

"Have you ever lied to Mommy?" The boy shook his head no. 

"Have you ever taken anything that didn't belong to you, or fought with your brother and 

sister?" Again he shook his head no. 

"He's sinning to you now," observed his older brother. 

A man will never turn to God until he realizes he is, a sinner. 

2. The second step—Knowing your punishment. In our society we don't worry about 

people who break the law until they hurt someone else, but God's laws are different. He said, 

"For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord"

(Rom. 6:23). Because you have sinned, you must pay the penalty. When you break a speed law, 

you don't get caught for every offense. If you speed through a radar trap, unless you're a good 

talker, you pay the fine. You never escape God's radar, for He catches every offense and the 

penalty is "death." 

"Even for one sin?" a woman asked at the church altar. The soul-winner showed her, 

"Whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all" (James 

2:10). One sin makes you a sinner. You give an excuse to the patrolman, "I was just speeding 

down this one hill." He assumes you've been speeding all day and gives you a ticket. 

"The wages of sin is death" (Rom. 6:23). You get wages for your work. Wages is what 

you have coming to you. This verse means you have death or 'hell coming because you have 

sinned. In contrast, "The gift of God is eternal life." The gift is free and undeserved; it's not 

wages. You get death for your sins, but God gives you life as a gift. 

3. The third step—Knowing God's provision. "But God commendeth his love toward 

us in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Rom. 5:8). The word "commendeth" 

means to give. God has given His Son to die for our sins. This is the gospel. Christ received our 

punishment - His life for our death, His death that we may live. The meaning of Calvary is that 

Christ was our substitute. 

4. The fourth step—You must respond. Knowing Christ died for you will not get you to 

heaven. Even if you are doctrinally correct, you do not have eternal life. Satan knows doctrine: 

"The devils also believe, and tremble" (James 2:19). Yet they are not saved. 

You will end up in trouble unless you do something about it, when you travel down the 

expressway and the needle says the gas tank is empty. You must find an exit and go off to get 

gas. Belief in Jesus Christ is finding the exit that leads to heaven. When you find it, you must do 

something about it. "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe 

in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved" (Rom. 10:9). 

A man in Roanoke, Virginia, confessed to his wife that he had committed adultery. In a 

blinding rage of temper she ripped the curtains from the window, broke all the dishes and 

announced she was suing for divorce. The next Sunday morning the couple attended church and 

during the invitation he went forward, crying like a brokenhearted lover. A few minutes later she 

followed him to the church altar. After the service was over, those who stood around were 

embarrassed by their hugs and kisses. Theirs was an emotional salvation, both before and after 

receiving Christ. 

Pastor Curtis Hutson, Forrest Hills Baptist Church, Decatur, Georgia, visited in the home 

of Cleo Jenkins, a Certified Public Accountant. After analyzing the gospel, Cleo received the 

Lord. Later Hutson confessed, "I didn't think he was saved because he didn't show any feelings." 

Yet Cleo has gone on to be one of the greatest workers in the church. 

What place does emotions have in conversion? We should never judge a man's 

seriousness by his tears at the altar. "Felix trembled and answered, Go thy way for this time;

when I have a convenient season, I will call for thee" (Acts 24:25). His emotions were stirred, 

just as some who come to the altar and weep but never get saved. You cannot judge the sincerity 

of a person by the outward display of emotions. The country preacher said it eloquently: "The 

toot of the car's horn doesn't tell you how much gas is in the tank." 

On the other side of the coin, just because a person doesn't cry or show joy, doesn't mean 

he lacks sincerity. Many people keep their emotions to themselves, yet they feel deeply. 

Repentance is necessary for salvation, yet repentance never got anyone saved. Like the 

bus ticket to Detroit, the first half says, "This half good for passage, not good if detached." 

Salvation is good for passage to heaven, not good if detached from repentance. The second half 

of the bus ticket reads, "Not good for passage, keep in your possession until arriving at 

destination." This ticket stub represents repentance, "Not good for passage for heaven ' keep 

doing good works until you get to your destination. " 

Repentance is usually tied to emotions. "For godly sorrow worketh repentance to 

salvation" (II Cor. 7:10). In the book of Acts, Peter and Paul both preached repentance. 

Your salvation does not begin with repentance, for these are dead works that cannot give 

you merit before God. Your salvation begins with the preaching of the gospel. It is God's Word 

that stirs the heart. 

Conviction which stirs the spirit to respond to God, begins from the Scriptures. "For the 

Word of God is quick, and powerful . . . and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the 

heart" (Heb. 4:12). The Word of God lays bare the sin that is hidden in the thoughts of man. 

Your sin is never hidden from God, but the Bible convicts by illuminating the mind, showing an 

individual his sinfulness. 

Conviction begins in the mind and moves to the surface. A man becomes aware that he 

has offended God. The effect is that he cries, trembles or becomes reflective. Sad stories or 

persuasive arguments will not bring conviction. It comes from the Word of God by the Holy 

Spirit. The Holy Spirit convicted you of sin (Jn. 16:8). This is because you have not believed in 

Jesus Christ (Jn. 16:9). He also performed the same work in your heart concerning righteousness 

and judgment (John 16:8-10). 

Tears will not convince God of your sincerity, nor will your smile convince others that 

you have an inner peace. The stirring of emotions is a necessary concomitant of- salvation, but 

not salvation itself. You must respond. 

Your mind knows the facts of the gospel and your emotions motivate you, but your will 

must respond. Paul describes this, "Ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine" (Rom. 

6:17). Other descriptions are used to show a man's response: Receiving Christ, accepting the 

Lord, asking Christ into your heart, placing your trust in Christ, or taking Christ by faith. Each of 

these statements means a person has made a volitional act of his will in turning his life over to 

Jesus Christ.

A young man was dealing for the first time with a seeker at the church altar. He told the 

person to pray, "Dear Jesus, come into my heart." When they got up, the soul-winner thought of 

an extra prayer. They returned to the altar where he instructed the seeker to pray, "Dear Jesus, 

forgive me of my sins. As they returned to the first pew, he thought of a third prayer. "Dear 

Jesus, take me to heaven." 

Actually, people get saved by using any one of the three formulas. God is not as 

interested in the words of your mouth as He is in the attitude of your heart. You must know the 

content of the gospel, respond by your emotions and make a decision of your will to turn your 

life over to Christ.

Chapter 2 

KNOWING YOU ARE SAVED 

"There's nothing sure in life but death and taxes," the saying goes. But that's not true. 

You can be certain of your salvation. Just as 'you are sure that you will go down when falling 

from a tree, you can know that God has saved your soul. Just as you know that a fire is certainly 

hot, you can know that you have eternal life. 

But some people doubt their salvation. The young man goes to bed at night and tosses 

and turns. He is scared to die. "How will I meet God?" 

A teenage boy stands chatting with some friends. Someone tells a story and when the 

punch line comes, it's dirty. The teenage boy laughs, but inwardly he thinks, "Christians 

shouldn't laugh at dirty stories. . . am I a Christian?" 

While riding his motorcycle down the street, a young man sees a girl sunbathing on her 

front lawn ... in a bikini. He looks two or three times. Then thinks to himself, "I shouldn't be 

doing this. Am I a Christian?" 

These people doubted their salvation because of temptation. Others are just ignorant of 

the Scriptures, or have a carefree attitude. 

An unchurched mother was invited to a Bible study where she began learning the Word 

of God. Many of her questions were answered. Later she attended an evangelistic service and 

went forward during the invitation. She had a deep experience with Christ and her life was 

turned around. All the way home she sang the hymns she had learned. She threw her arms 

around her husband. "Honey, I got saved!" She gathered the family together and told them the 

thrilling story. A week later she broke her leg on the back steps. Her housework got behind, the 

kids fought when they took care of the chores and she got discouraged. From the height of her 

salvation she sank to the depth of despondency. "Was it real?" she wondered. She had let her 

emotions prop up her Christian life to the point where she depended upon them. Perhaps God 

was teaching her to put her trust in His Word rather than in her feelings. 

Three men were walking down a country path when they came to a log across the creek. 

The first man "Feelings" stumbled on the log. The second man "Faith" slipped, but the third man 

"Fact" never lost his footing. You should never base your salvation upon your feelings, never 

even let your faith in God be your confidence; your assurance of salvation must be grounded in 

the facts of the Word of God. 

The key word in John's first epistle is know. He gives many reasons how we can know 

we're saved. 

1. You know you are saved when you want to keep His commandments. God's 

commandments are based on His nature; they are what He wants us to do. The natural man has a 

sinful nature and doesn't want to follow God. When you were unsaved, you did not want to do

God's will. However, after you receive Christ, there is a desire to do God's will (II Cor. 5:17), 

even if you don't always follow your desire. 

A young father put off receiving Christ for several months. The pastor went by to talk 

with him in several occasions and he always said, "Later. " Finally he told the pastor that he 

came from a family that always had beer and wine with their meals' "When I go back home to eat 

with the family, I know I'll drink alcohol, though not excessively-" The pastor showed him the 

victory that was promised in Jesus Christ and the young father was saved. A year later, the father 

came to the altar one Sunday morning crying. He wouldn't let anyone deal with him but the 

pastor. "I have been drinking with some buddies; I must not be saved. " The pastor prayed for 

wisdom in handling the situation. 

"Do you remember drinking wine with your family on New Year's Day right before you 

got saved?" the pastor asked the young man. He said yes. 

"And do you remember drinking wine on Christmas right before that?" Again he said yes. 

The pastor pointed out that the young man did not feel convicted at that time by showing 

emotional upheaval and tears. 

"Why are you crying over drinking now?" the pastor asked. The rather saw the point. 

Christ lived in his heart and he could no longer go back to his old habits without offending Jesus 

Christ. 

John tells us, "We know that whosoever is born of God sinneth not" (I Jn. 5:18). If you 

are saved, this does not mean that you will never sin once. It means that you will not sin 

continually. Some go forward in church and make an open profession, but there is no work in 

the heart. There is only an outward change. You can take a pig from the mud and scrub him up 

and paste on lamb's wool so that he gives the appearance of being a sheep, but when you turn him 

out into the pasture, he'll go to the mud with the pigs rather than eat grass with the sheep. 

2. You know you are saved when God answers your prayers. The Lord has promised 

to answer the prayers of His children. "If ye shall ask anything in my name I will do it" (Jn. 

14:14). Of course there are conditions to prayer, but when you meet those conditions, God will 

answer your prayers. 

Elmer Towns tells the story of attending only one prayer meeting in his life before he was 

saved. The windows were open because it was a hot summer evening, and bugs flew in during 

the message. As they were leaving, someone said, "Let's pray for screens." There were 32 

windows in the church and they got on their knees and asked God for 32 screens. Getting up 

from their knees, the pastor said, "Let's don't tell anyone, and watch what God does." During the 

following Sunday service, a man interrupted the announcements to donate four screens. Several 

others volunteered and all 32 screens were bought. Towns walked out of that building saying, 

"These people must be Christians, they can pray; I must not be a Christian, I can't pray." It was 

that event that led Elmer Towns to salvation.

The Bible teaches that God is not obligated to hear the prayer of the unsaved man. "Now 

we know that God heareth not sinners" (in. 9:31). This same truth is repeated in the Old 

Testament, "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me" (Ps. 66:18). Since God 

does not hear the prayers of the unsaved, yet he has obligated Himself, to hear Christians; you 

should have no doubts about your salvation if God has answered one of your prayers. 

"And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask anything according to his 

will, he heareth us; and if we know that he hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the 

petitions that we desired of him" (I Jn. 5:14-15). 

3. You know you are saved if you understand the Bible. Once again John promises, 

"And we know that the Son of God is come, and hath given us an understanding" (I Jn. 5:20). 

When you have an inner understanding of the Bible that is proof that you are a Christian. Why? 

Because unsaved people are blinded t - o spiritual truths. "But the natural man receiveth not the 

things of the Spirit of God" (I Cor. 2:14). This is again described by Paul,, "Having their 

understanding darkened" (Eph. 4:18). Just as a blind man cannot see the world about him, the 

unsaved man is blind to God's Word. He cannot understand the message of the Bible. Oh, he 

can tell the meaning of words and tell the plot of a story, but the spiritual message of redemption 

is withheld from him. 

Before you were saved, the Holy Spirit convicted you of sin, righteousness and judgment 

(Jn. 16:9II). The word "convict" means to cause to see; the Holy Spirit made you see or 

understand God's plan of redemption. This is the work of God in your heart to bring you to 

salvation. Those who reject are further blinded. Now, if you have a desire to read the Bible and 

understand God's message, you are saved. This does not mean you could pass a test in Bible 

knowledge, but you understand the plan of salvation. 

4. You know you are a Christian when you love the brethren. Another proof of your 

salvation is love for Christians. "We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we 

love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death" (I Jn. 3:14). Love does not 

mean mushy kisses and homechurned ice cream. It manifests itself first in fellowship. When 

'you are born again you want to be around other Christians. Since God is Father to both you and 

other Christians, there is a common bond among Christians. Love manifests itself in a burden for 

other Christians. When you see a Christian sin and it bothers you, that is a sign you're saved. 

When you see Christians have need and you want to help them, that also is a sign that you're 

saved. When you see victorious Christians, and you want to live like them, rejoice for your name 

is written in the Lamb's Book of Life. 

A minister recently went to a mission church to preach for prayer meeting. The host 

pastor and his wife prepared a steak dinner with all the trimmings, including apple pie for 

dessert. The crowd was small, with only 26 present. The love offering for the guest preacher 

came to $26.00. When the visiting preacher found out the financial pressures in the mission 

church and that the pastor only had a can of beans left in the cupboard, he gave him the $26.00. 

Both gave evidence of the fellowship of salvation: the mission pastor and his wife because they 

gave all except a can of beans, and the visiting pastor because he gave all in return.

Love of the brethren is a proof of your salvation but it does not mean you are not saved if 

you get mad at one Christian. Paul and Barnabas got mad at each other. Some Christian may do 

you wrong and you'll lose your temper. This should not make you doubt your salvation. 

Remember the Bible says "Love the brethren" (plural), not individual brothers. You should have 

an attitude of love in your heart toward Christians in general. If you like to fellowship with 

Christians at church, you're probably saved. If the people you love most in this world are 

Christians, you're probably saved. If they're not, you ought to ask yourself why. 

Love is giving yourself to the one you love. When you give yourself to a group of 

Christians (the assembled church) and together you give yourselves to the Great Commission, 

then you should have confidence that you are saved. 

5. You know you are saved if You have the inner witness of the Holy Spirit. When 

you became a Christian, the Holy Spirit came into your heart to create a new nature within you 

(Rom. 5:5), and to seal you until the final day of redemption (Eph. 1:13). The Holy Spirit dwells 

in every Christian. One of the telltale clues that a man is not saved is when he doesn't have the 

Holy Spirit (Rom. 8:11). 

The indwelling Holy Spirit witnesses that you are saved. He doesn't speak through the 

hearing of the ears or the seeing of your eyes. He communicates from His heart to your heart, 

"The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God" (Rom. 8:16). 

This is innate knowledge (that which doesn't need proof). You just know. Ask a girl walking 

down the isle if she loves her husband to-be and she'll say, "Yes, in a thousand ways." In her 

excitement she can't name one of those ways. The same is true of a Christian; he knows he is 

saved but just can't explain it. Many a man has walked down an aisle and knelt at an altar to 

receive Jesus Christ. He has little knowledge and almost no experience, yet he walks away from 

the altar knowing he is a child of God. His confidence was planted by the Holy Spirit who is his 

witness.

Chapter 3 

FINDING THE WILL OF GOD 

Now that you are a Christian, you will want to do the will of God. When you were a 

child, you did the will of your parents. Sometimes you didn't understand why you were doing 

what they wanted; other times you didn't want to please them. Some even rebel against the will 

of their parents. 

A young boy didn't like practicing the violin and didn't understand why he had to stay 

cooped up in the house when his friends were playing outside. Later he made first violin in the 

symphony orchestra and was grateful for his mother's determination. 

The will of God is "good" (Rom. 12:2), but that does not mean we always enjoy our 

circumstances. God knows what is best for His children, and those who listen to Him are 

rewarded. God's will for us comes out of His nature. He wants us to be like His Son (Rom. 

12:2). 

You can look to Jesus as your example in finding the will of God. His entire life was 

dedicated completely to the Father's will. He once said, "My meat is to do the will of him that 

sent me" (Jn. 4:34). Again He prayed, "Not my will, but thine, be done" (Luke 22:42). Doing 

the will of God is simply doing what God wants you to do. When Jesus taught us to pray, "Thy 

will be done," it simply means we do what God expects. 

1. You can find God's will. The psalmist says, "The meek will he guide in judgment; 

and the meek will he teach his way,, (Ps. 25:9). Every man can find God's will. Every man!! 

Not only full-time preachers can find God's will. The little boy in the first grade must know that 

God wants him to develop his abilities and grow as Jesus did. 

God expects us to know and do His will. Paul exhorted, "Be ye not unwise, but 

understanding what the will of ' God is " (Eph. 5:17). Two facts arise from this verse: first, the 

will of God can be understood; and, second, those who do not know the will of God are not wise. 

Some search for the will of God like looking through a zing of keys, using the trial and error 

method. But God does not hide His will like the miser hiding his money, hoping no one will find 

it. Every Christian, meaning you, can know and do the will of God. 

We can find God's will if we seek His guidance in our lives. Jeremiah said, "It is not in 

man that walketh to direct his steps" (Jer. 10:23). We should not leave our future to our own 

decision. We must seek God's will and God's Word. We have to be sure that our will, heart, 

affections and desires are wholly surrendered to Him. 

2. You must desire to know God's will and be willing to do all that is involved. God's 

will is like groceries: they don't come from the store ' and place themselves on the table. You 

must go get a job and work diligently. Then use your money to go and purchase groceries. Even 

when you get your food to the house, it must be prepared. Laziness is inconsistent with God's 

will.

The will of God cannot be forced on the unyielded Christian, just as a boy's love cannot 

be forced on the uninterested young girl. The will of God is revealed to those who wholly desire 

it. It is found when you surrender your will to God. Jesus noted, "If any man will do his will, he 

shall know of the doctrine" (Jn. 7:17). The student who wants to write the best term paper 

spends endless hours in the library searching for material. Just so, the Christian who wants the 

perfect will of God must search for it with his whole heart. Paul noted, "I beseech you therefore, 

brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice ... that ye may 

prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God" (Rom. 12:1-2). The word 

"present" means to give. The father who gives a bicycle to his young boy has yielded it for his 

son's use. You must yield your life to find the will of God. 

You do not discover the will of God by idle curiosity. A little boy lived next to a 

cemetery and was curious if there were ghosts there at night. One night he went to explore the 

graveyard and ran when he thought he saw the ghost he knew wasn't there. In the same sense, 

Christians run from the will of God. They are afraid that the will of God will hurt them, just as 

the grown man is afraid of getting his tooth filled. 

The will of God is found like looking for a job; you must be ready to go to work the 

moment you find it. Most employers won't put applicants to work at their whim. God doesn't 

show His will to those who just want to see it, only those who want to do it. 

Almost every father in the world has driven a nail with his shoe. When his wife 

announces, "Hang this picture," he looks for the nearest thing at hand because he is too lazy to go 

to the basement and get a hammer. So drives it with his shoe because it's available. God doesn't 

walk through the universities looking for the polished hammer. God is looking for available 

people. Any young person who is willing to do anything can be use of God. Dwight L. Moody 

had an eighth grade education. He shook America with one hand and Great Britain with the 

other be cause he was willing to do anything that God want ed. When Curtis Hutson was a 

postman he prayed "Dear God, ' you can have me from the crown of in head to my little toe." 

Hutson built the largest Sun day School in Georgia with only a twelfth grade education. 

Some people are faithful to God like the small girl who loved her rag doll. When she was 

in her room, she hugged the doll and talked to it. But she cared for the doll only when it was 

near. When she was gone, it was out of mind. People love God when they are singing in church 

or praying with others. When the church is out of sight, the thought of God is gone. 

3. Your motives must be absolutely pure in seeking God's will. Jesus noted, "The 

light of the body is the eye: Therefore when thine eye is single thy whole body is full of light." 

The word "single" means to look only one way. We must have an eye single for the glory of 

God. When self gets mixed up, our eyes become blurry and we miss the glory of God. God 

won't hear your prayers when you harbor secret impure motives. 

In a recent Miss America pageant, a contestant was asked what she wanted to achieve. 

"I'd like to be happy ... that's all." The will of God was never that you be happy, but rather that 

you be holy. The Constitution guarantees you the right to happiness, but those who seek it never 

find it. There is nothing wrong with being happy, but happiness is a by-produce of holiness.

John Wesley said, "I'm not sure they understand love. They come to church to enjoy their 

religion rather than to get holiness." God wants you to be separated from sin. When you seek His 

will, the spin-off is happiness. 

A Sunday School teacher told the class, "I have Jesus in my heart. " 

"Take Him out and let us see Him," the little girl replied. The Christian will have to let 

Christ rule his heart, then shine out to the world. 

4. Wait patiently for His leading and do not move forward until you know you are 

obeying the Bible. When you follow God's leadership, you know where you're going. The 

phrase "blind faith" is often misapplied. To make a decision because you are frustrated is not 

faith. Neither is it faith to step off on your inclination. Faith is obedience to the Word of God 

and you should never be blind to the Bible. You must have open eyes to your circumstances as 

well as God's Word. Your mind must understand the consequences. God doesn't lead out of a 

vacuum; He leads out of full knowledge. 

Once in a while we hear a story of someone who stepped out on faith and moved forward. 

On the other side, we seldom hear the stories of those who stepped out only to find themselves 

following their blind prejudice. A Bible college student refused to work for a living. He 

maintained he must live by "faith." His wife left him because the baby was starving. His was not 

faith but stupidity. 

Wait for God's will. Sometimes the more haste we make, the less speed we generate. He 

who waits on God loses no time. 

5. When you contradict the Scriptures, you are not in the will of God. The Bible is 

the most vital element in finding the will of God. Saturate yourself with its principles. Those 

who know the most Bible usually stray less from God. A wise grandfather once observed, "A 

Bible that is falling apart usually belongs to a person who isn't." 

The following principles of Scripture will warn when you step from the will of God, just 

as a policeman's whistle keeps small children from stepping from the curb. 

a. The principle of purity (11 Cor. 6:14-18) tells us that we should not let unsaved 

companions make our decisions concerning God's will. 

b. The principle of secrecy (Matt. 6:3) tells us that the will of God is found in secret 

prayer as we seek His face. 

c. The principle of charity (Rom. 14:19; I Cor. 8:9-15; 10:31; Rom. 14:21) tells us that 

we cannot offend younger Christians and be in God's will. 

d. The principle of mastery (I Cor. 6:12) reminds us not to let anything other than Christ 

become our ruler. We are to master our fives for Him. 

e. The principle of duty (Prov. 3:27; James 4:17) reminds us to fulfill our obligations.

f. The principle of adaptability (I Cor. 9:19-23; Phil. 4:11-12) tells us to do the best we 

can for God, no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in. 

g. The principle of suitability (I Cor. 10:23) tells us that many things are all right for 

others, but not for us. 

h. The principle of mental toughness (Rom. 14:22-23) tells us that after we have 

thoroughly examined an issue, do everything to the glory of God. 

6. Opportunities are tied to the will of God. Many good things may come in your life; 

these may be the will of God. A college scholarship may be God's pro' vision for a young 

person's education. Being born to well-to-do parents may be God's provision to the next student. 

The next student may have to work his way through college and in the process learn the lesson of 

sacrifice. Each opportunity comes from God. 

Watch out for opportunities; not all may be God's will. A proposal of marriage to the 36year-old 

single girl is not God's will if the young man will pull her away from God. Yet her 

desire might influence her understanding of God's will. Not every opportunity, no matter how 

attractive, may be good for you. Test opportunities by the Scriptures. 

God is more concerned about your character than your circumstances. At times God will 

give you an easy time; rejoice. At other times He will lead you through deep waters; still rejoice. 

It is God's will that you become like His Son. "And be not conformed to this world, but be ye 

transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, 

and perfect, will of God" (Rom. 12:2). 

The will of God is to be transformed into the image of Jesus Christ. This verse tells us, 

"Be not conformed," meaning we are to turn away from the things of this world. You are not 

following the will of God when you are dominated by this world. Instead, you are to be 

transformed into the image of Christ. You are to undergo a complete change of both heart and 

conduct. The word "transformed" means to be transfigured as Christ was on the Mount of 

Transfiguration. "And was transfigured before them; and his face did shine like the sun, and his 

raiment was as white as the fight" (Matt. 17:2). Transformed is the cocoon becoming a butterfly. 

Transformed is not legalism where you drop off bad habits. Being transformed is letting the 

Holy Spirit work through you to possess your mind, heart and actions. The Holy Spirit brings 

you into conformity to God's Son. "But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory 

of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the 

Lord" (II Cor. 3:18).

Chapter 4 

MASTERING THE BIBLE 

The Bible is the most indispensable instrument for your life as a Christian. You can't be 

Christian without it. The Bible brought you into the Christian world, and will cause you to grow 

and will prepare you for heaven. 

"The Bible will keep you from sin, or sin will keep you from the Bible, " a young man 

was told after getting saved in a church service. 

"I don't understand," he replied. As a matter of fact, he didn't understand much that 

happened that evening because it was his first time in the church. But he knew in his heart 

something happened to him. 

Since he wasn't grounded, he started cursing again because he hung around with his 

drinking buddies. He went to church, but soon lost that desire and drifted away. 

"Why did you give up?" the pastor asked the next time they met in a downtown market. 

"I just couldn't hold out," he replied. 

"I'll help you to grow in your faith," the pastor promised. 

The defeated Christian agreed to "try" the Christian life again. This time the pastor 

helped him study the Bible. He began on Gospel of John. Staying up late at night, he devoured 

the pages of Scripture; like a hungry man, he couldn't get enough. As the Bible changed his 

desires, his drinking buddies lost interest in him and he in them. 

The lesson was hard to learn, but the Word of God will keep I person from sin. "Thy 

Word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against thee" (Ps. 119:9). The Bible keeps you 

from sin by its instructional power. It teaches the correct way of life. "Thy Word is a lamp unto 

my feet, and a light unto my path" (Ps. 119:105). Historian Arnold Toynbee noted, "It pierces 

through the intellect and plays directly upon the heart. " 

The Scriptures are like a vaccination, protecting you by cleansing your conscience (Jn. 

15:3), giving you joy (Jer. 15:16), correcting wrong teaching that would allow deviation (II Tim. 

3:16), and producing a "hedge" against sin in your life (Heb. 4:12). 

When you got saved, it was through the Bible. Paul describes Timothy's salvation, "And 

that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto 

salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus (II Tim. 3:15). Many children, like young 

Timothy, grow up in a Christian home, but it is the Scripture that brings them to Christ. 

Elmer Towns tells how his sister, Martha, received Christ. She had her devotions 

"religiously" each night and never had become involved in sin. Towns felt that she had not 

experienced salvation. He typed 100 verses on 3 X 5 cards and promised her a new Scofield

Reference Bible when she could repeat them perfectly. As she quoted each verse, he instructed 

her in its meaning. Halfway through the project, she went to camp. Phoning long distance, 

Martha told of conviction that led to salvation because an evangelist quoted the verses she had 

been learning. 

But God's Word does more than bring children to Christ. It reaches the hardened heart. 

Two men struck up a conversation at a Billy Graham Crusade in London. Both were critical of 

Graham's methods. The evangelist kept repeating the phrase, "The Bible says . . ." At the 

invitation one man said, "I don't know about you, but I'm going forward to get saved." The other 

hesitated a moment, then reached in his coat and replied, "Here's your wallet I took; I'll go with 

you. " 

The Bible will give you assurance of your salvation. John writes, "These things have I 

written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God, that you may know that ye have 

eternal life" (I Jn. 5:13). Oliver Cromwell had such a conviction throughout life. On his 

deathbed he heard Philippians 4:11-13 read, then proclaimed, "He that was Paul's Christ is my 

Christ too." If you have trouble understanding your salvation, the Bible will help you grow in 

faith. If you are ignorant of the Scriptures you cannot be strong in faith, so apply yourself to 

know the Bible. Then, as you know God's Word, you will love God's Son. 

The Bible makes you grow in Christian character. Character is the skeleton where you 

hang Christian Service. While the world is interested in improving the physical condition, the 

Christian should be interested in improving his character. The world seeks happiness, but it is ' 

not found with better surroundings. Happiness grows out of a person's attitude to his 

surroundings. Paul sang in prison; he never prayed for deliverance, he rejoiced in God that's 

character. 

Peter tells us, "As newborn babes desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow 

thereby" (I Peter 2:2). The young Christian may just take a few verses a day and digest them. 

Older Christians chew on the meat of the Word (Heb. 5:14). Time, diligence and concentration 

are needed to grasp the doctrines of the faith. 

There are several symbols used to picture the Bible as food for growth. It is milk for the 

body (I Peter 2:2), meat for the growing Christian (Heb. 5:12:14), bread for the hungry (Jn. 5:51), 

and honey for satisfaction (Ps. 19: 10). 

The Bible will bring peace when your heart is troubled. For many years, the Gideons 

have placed Bibles in hotel rooms. Their files are filled with stories of men who have 

contemplated suicide, divorce or an act of violence. Picking up the Bible, they have turned to the 

guide "When in Trouble" and found the Word of God gave them encouragement and hope. 

The Christian hears the Bible with the ear of his heart. God speaks to him through the 

Scripture. Chiang Kai-shek testified, "The Bible is the voice of the Holy Spirit." A mother sat 

toward the rear of the church auditorium. When a slight noise of children playing came through 

the wall, it didn't bother those around her. She got up immediately and went out; it was her child

crying. In the same way, the Christian recognizes his Father's voice when he reads the 

Scriptures. 

A city farmer went to his first auction of cattle. He couldn't understand a word the 

auctioneer was chanting. He asked a friend to bid for him and told him the limit. "I suddenly 

understood every price the auctioneer quoted," the farmer observed. "The auctioneer was talking 

about my money." When our eternity is invested in God, we understand what He is promising in 

the Bible. 

But what about the unsaved? What is his response to the Bible? First, the Scriptures 

work in his heart to bring conviction (Jer. 23:29). But many unsaved per-sons don't respond to 

God's call. What about them and the Bible? They corrupt the Bible (II Cor. 2:17), use it 

deceitfully (II Cor. 2:17), disobey it (I Peter 3:1), add to it (Rev. 22:18) and take away from it 

(Rev. 22:19). 

You take on the characteristics of Jesus Christ as you study the Bible. Paul tells us, "We 

all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image 

from glory to glory" (II Cor. 3:18). This verse illustrates a man standing before a mirror, which 

is God's Word. In the mirror he doesn't see his image, but a reflection of Jesus Christ. The more 

he studies the mirror (the Bible), the more he becomes like Jesus Christ. 

Some bad habits will disappear immediately after conversion. Others will linger. The 

Bible is your source of help-to overcome all habits. As God's Word becomes a part of your 

thinking, in turn you will think like God and overcome undesirable habits. The Word of God 

will change your life if you give it an opportunity. 

Take Christianity seriously. Set aside a time each day to read, study, meditate and 

memorize the Word of God. These ' four words are stepping-stones to master the Bible, hence 

overcoming bad habits. The Bible gives you new desires, "Whereby are given unto us exceeding 

great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature" (II Peter 

1:4). 

First, read the Bible daily. Don't leave Bible reading up to your inclination or don't wait 

until you are ready to study the Bible. Some days you won't feel like reading Scripture. You will 

have to discipline yourself if you are to grow in Bible knowledge. General Douglas MacArthur 

claimed, "Believe me, sir, never a night goes by, be I ever so tired, but I read the Word of God 

before I go to bed." Develop a daily Bible reading plan. You can read the entire Bible in one year 

if you read four chapters a day (see Appendix for daily Bible reading plan. Check off each 

chapter as it is read.) 

Second, Bible study is more than reading Scripture. As a young Christian, you are like 

those in the first grade. You don't know the material nor how to study. An effective plan is to 

begin with a basic Bible study book, one with questions that will make you think your way 

through each verse. This guide will give you a systematic approach to personal study. Reading 

will give you breadth, study will give you depth.

Begin your study by reading a passage several times. Read the portion in several 

versions. As you go over the passage, ask these questions, "What is it saying?" Don't read your 

thoughts into the verse. Ask what the author meant. Interpret each verse in its context. 

Next question, "Where else does God say this?" Use the center column reference in 

your Bible to find other places teaching the same truth. You may have to use a concordance to 

find a parallel passage. But comparing Scripture with Scripture will expand your knowledge of 

the Bible. 

Next ask, "What are the problems in the passage?" You don't want to center your life 

on problems, but don't overlook any. You solve them by a clear understanding of the problem. 

Write it out. List what you think the answers might be. Then look in a Bible commentary. The 

author's explanation may give you an insight in finding the answer. 

The final question, "What does it mean to me?" Here you apply the Scripture to your 

life. Think of the ways you could apply these verses to your life. Then write out the principles 

so you have a clear understanding of the practical application. 

You will grow as you analyze words. Look up their meaning in a dictionary. Then look 

up the word in a concordance to see the way it is used in other references. In-depth word study is 

an excellent means to grasp biblical doctrine. 

When you come to unclear circumstances, look up the geography or social backgrounds 

in an encyclopedia. Don't let anything escape your grasp. When doctrinal problems face you, 

search for the correct interpretation in a book on doctrine. 

The third step in Bible study is memorization. The psalmist declared, "Thy word have I 

hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee" (Ps. 119:11). You will want to memorize 

portions of Scripture for various reasons. When Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, He quoted 

Scripture. If you have the Bible in your heart, you can quote the Scripture in an hour of trial. 

When Philip, a deacon, wanted to witness to the Ethiopian in the chariot, he knew Isaiah 53 and 

used it to lead the eunuch to salvation. Also, when you must make difficult decisions, God's 

Word will guide you into God's will. 

Memorize Scripture by first marking the verse in your Bible. Underline the verse so it 

will stand out the next time you study the passage. Next, write or type the verse on a small card. 

Carry the cards with you for review in free time. Plan a systematic way to review the verses you 

have already memorized. Without review you can't remember the exact words that you 

memorize. You may even forget the whole verse. But you will grow in the process of applying 

diligent effort to master the verse and its meaning. 

"The Bible runs through my mind like a sieve," a person once observed. "Why should I 

memorize?" 

"The Bible is like water; at least it keeps the sieve clean.”

"The Navigators" were born during the Second World War when Dawson Trotman 

challenged servicemen to memorize great numbers of texts. One sailor left his packet of verses 

lying around and Trotman picked them up to see if its owner could repeat them all. When he 

stumbled repeatedly over familiar verses, Trotman said, "That is why the Lord hasn't saved the 

240 men on your ship. You do not take the Bible seriously." When you memorize the Bible, you 

show God you mean business. 

The fourth step is meditation, which is "going over and over" the words in your mind. 

The psalmist indicated that the growing Christian is like the growing tree, prospering because of 

meditation. "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in 

the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, 

and in his law doth he meditate" (Ps. 1:1-2). The psalmist continues, "He shall be like a tree 

planted by the rivers of waters, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season" (Ps. 1:3). 

You should meditate on the Bible because it is a message from God. A college 

sophomore got a daily letter from his girl friend. When he quickly opened and read it in front of 

the mailboxes, the other guys teased him. He got in the habit of going to his room so he could 

give full attention to every word she said. That is the way to meditate on the Bible. 

Because each word has a significance and none are there by error, you should meditate on 

every word. You can spend a lifetime studying the Bible and never exhaust its depth.

Chapter 5 

GETTING ANSWERS TO PRAYER 

Recently a middle-aged minister met a former high school friend on the street. He 

remembered thinking she was pretty but they had remained casual friends. After reminiscing 

about old friends, she asked, 

"Why didn't you ever ask me for a date?" 

"I didn't think I was good enough," he stammered. . 

They continued talking. He explained, "You dated the football heroes and fellows with 

the fancy cars. I didn't think girls cared about me because I was going to be a preacher. " 

She shook her head in amazement, "I wanted to date you because you were so nice, 

because you were going to be a preacher. " She told how she walked by his house, hoping he 

would come out the door. As they talked, the minister remembered the words of Scripture, "Ye 

have not because ye ask not." He could have dated the girl but didn't ask. Many Christians miss 

the good things God has for them because they don't ask. 

"But I ask and they are never answered,” you might say. Perhaps there is something 

blocking your prayers, like trash in the fuel line. So you sputter along without full power. New 

automobiles have a bright red light to warn of a low fuel supply. Perhaps a sin pointed out in this 

chapter will flash in your mind. Do something about it so you can get answers to your prayers. 

1. Your prayers are not answered if you don't obey God. God is our Heavenly 

Father, and He loves His children. We go to Him just like a child asks things of an earthly father. 

A little boy went to see his dad at the hardware store and each time asked for a nickel to buy a 

cold drink from the machine in the supply room. When dad was angry, he didn't get the nickel. 

The little boy was careful to stay on dad's good side when he wanted a cold drink. “And 

whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things 

that are pleasing in his sight" (I Jn. 3:22). Note that we get whatsoever when we keep His 

commandments and please God. 

A teenage son asked to borrow his father's car for a date. He felt the family car was more 

luxurious than his. 

"No!" was the answer. The father replied, "The other day I asked you to wash it and 

sweep out the sand, but you didn't have time." Within 30 minutes the boy was back to tell his 

father the car was clean and to ask to borrow it. The Christian who does not obey God cannot 

pray to his heavenly Father and get the answers he seeks. 

2. Your prayers are not answered if you tolerate known sin. The Bible teaches that 

our sin stuffs cotton in God's ears; in other words, sin makes it impossible for Him to hear us. "If 

I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me" (Ps. 66:18). Iniquity is sin, doing the

exact opposite of God's will. If God tells us not to take His name in vain and we do, how can we 

ask Him to answer our prayers? 

There is another verse that says we plug up God's ears: "Behold the Lord's hand is not 

shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear; But your iniquities have 

separated between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you, that he will 

not hear" (Isa. 59:1-2). God has the ability to help us and His ears can hear us, but our sin makes 

it impossible. 

Robert was a mischievous boy. When his mother was mad he ran and hid. His favorite 

hiding place was a dark closet where she couldn't see or hear him. When Robert was hiding, that 

was not the time to ask her for money to go to the store for ice cream. If you have sin in your 

life, get rid of it; then ask God for your petition. Only then can you get answers to prayer. 

3. Your prayers are not answered if you don't live right. The Bible tells us the 

prayers of the righteous are effective. We are never righteous by our own efforts. Our 

righteousness is imputed by Jesus Christ. However, there is a sense in which we are righteous. 

This means "doing right." If we want our prayers answered, we must do right by paying our bills, 

ceasing to curse, going to church, tithing and witnessing. "Confess your faults one to another. 

and pray for one another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man 

availeth much" (James 5:16). The phrase "availeth much” means makes tremendous things 

available." When you are right with God, your prayers make the greatest things in the world 

available. 

Too often we send "looney tune" prayers up to heaven. They don't make sense when our 

life does not back up our request. Our prayers ought to pack a wallop. Instead, some Prayers 

seem to freeze on our lips. Evangelist Billy Sunday once heard a man praying in a meeting. The 

man drawled on and on. 

"Shut up! You'll kill this meeting!" the flaming evangelist yelled. In the same manner, 

Evangelist John R. Rice will never invite people to the platform to pray. He does it himself 

because he wants to make sure that the blessing of God is upon the meeting. 

When a righteous man prays, he reaches up and pulls the rope on the bell clapper of 

heaven. The Bible says, "For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open 

unto their prayers." This means if you are living right, God keeps His eyes on you and listens for 

your cry. God is like a mother with children playing in the park, watching everything they do and 

listening for trouble. 

When the righteous pray, heaven is mobilized. If you live a righteous life, your prayers 

bounce into the shipping room of heaven. God stamps the order with a great big "Rush." The 

angels cry out, "Pack it up and send it out." 

4. Your prayers are not answered if you do not abide in His Word. Jesus promised, 

"If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto 

you" (Jn. 15:7). The word "abide" means to join yourself to God without any obstruction. It

does not mean to hang onto God. When a branch is hanging onto the vine, it usually withers. 

When the branch is growing with the vine, it prospers and has fruit. Just as the branch allows the 

life-giving sap to flow through it, the Christian who abides in the Bible allows the Holy Spirit to 

control him. When you abide in the Bible, you allow its words to flow through you. You are 

yielded. 

Prayer is talking to God; Bible study is allowing God to talk to you. Since God is much 

more important, we ought to allow God to do most of the talking. We allow important people to 

do most of the talking and we ask them only the important questions. So when we allow God to 

speak to our hearts through the Bible, we have a prepared heart to ask the right request. 

5. Your prayers are hindered if you don't pray according to His will. God has a will 

which is His desire for us. It is God's will that we pray for the things He wants us to have. Little 

Roscoe looked forward to a visit from his Uncle Herman who always brought candy. But the lad 

had to ask for it. Sometimes his little fingers went rummaging through his uncle's pockets to find 

the candy. It gave Uncle Herman as much happiness to give the candy as it did for Roscoe to 

find it. "And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask anything according to His 

will, he heareth us; and if we know that he hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the 

petitions that we desired of him" (I Jn. 4:14-15). 

We must pray according to God's will. Once a ministerial student prayed outside of 

God's will. While going through Bible college, he prayed for money. There was a hole-in-one 

contest at a nearby golf course and every person who hit the ball in the cup got $200. The 

student prayed that God would help him make a hole-in-one. He knelt on the golf tee and asked 

God to guide his swing. None of the balls went in the cup. This was not God's way of providing 

for his financial needs. There was the element of gambling in the contest. Also, the student 

enjoyed playing golf and wanted some glory for getting a hole-in-one. 

How can you know the things you ask are His will? Certain things are obviously God's 

will, such as getting people saved. The Bible says so. God wants everyone saved (II Peter 3:9). 

If you are not certain an item is God's will, how can you expect the Holy Spirit to guide you? 

God doesn't hide His will like a needle in a haystack. "All right, dig in and find it." It is not 

God's nature to frustrate His children. However, we may have to go through several doors to get 

answers to prayer. To get from the church sanctuary to a Sunday School room, we may have to 

go through several doorways. Some doors are open, others we have to push open. God tests our 

sincerity. We need to go through each open door as it appears. It may take a while to get an 

answer to prayer. But we should pray with confidence Eke a man walking through the backyard, 

knowing where he is going. Our heavenly Father doesn't play games with us, hiding His will like 

Easter eggs, hoping we will find them. 

6. Y our prayers are not answered if you do not pray with faith. Faith is expecting 

the answer. A school boy sent coupons off for magic rings, code books and other trinkets. Every 

day he'd run to ask the mailman," Did it come today?" 

"Not today," the postman would say.

"Maybe tomorrow." 

He'd get so excited, he couldn't wait for the postman to come. When we pray, we have to 

believe the answer is coming. "Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye 

pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them" (Mark 11:24). The sincerity of our 

faith determines the answers we get. "He that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he 

is the rewarder of them that diligently seek him" (Heb. 11:6). 

A small boy asked his mother for a quarter every Saturday to go downtown. Twenty-five 

cents paid for the streetcar, popcorn and a cold drink. He never asked for a dollar because he felt 

she wouldn't give it. But he didn't know that his mother was giving him a lot more than a dollar 

to take care of his needs. He asked for what he felt she would give him, twenty-five cents. She 

never turned him down. "But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like 

a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed" (James 1:6). Therefore, it's obvious some of 

us need more faith, not more time in prayer. Therefore we ask, "How do we get more faith?" 

One way is to pray for it. Faith is sending off the coupon, then going to the mailbox every day 

looking for the answer. Expect answers from God. Build yourself a spiritual mailbox. "I got a 

reply this morning," you can tell your friends. 

7. Your prayers are not answered if you don't ask in Christ's name. "And 

whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If 

ye shall ask anything in my name, I will do it" (Jn. 14:23:14). When a son borrows a gasoline 

credit card, he gets gasoline in his father's name. He pulls into the service station and yells, "Fill 

'er up!" When they present him the bill, he gives them his father's credit card and signs in his 

father's name. In the same way, we go to the Father in the name of Jesus Christ. Recently, a 

minister prayed, "Lord, if you loved me enough to give me your Son to die on Calvary, I want 

you to give me two souls when I preach this morning." All authority is given to Jesus and He 

allows us to use it. 

A small boy went to the corner store and ordered a loaf of bread, a quart of milk, a pound 

of bologna and six cold drinks. 

"Did your mother send you for all that?" the skeptical grocer questioned the young boy. 

"Yes sir, my mother wants all of that stuff." 

"Did your mother ask for the six cold drinks?" asked the wise man, knowing the poor 

family might not squander money on soft drinks. He didn't give the boy the drinks, knowing that 

when he got halfway home he would drink them with his friends. When you pray in Jesus' name, 

you better be sure that Jesus sent you. Many times we don't get answers to our prayers, even if 

we pray in Jesus' name, because it is not God's will. 

8. Your prayers are not answered if your motives are not right. When we come to 

God and pray, our desires must be pure. The Bible tells us that we do not get our answers 

because of our lusts (selfish desires). "Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may 

consume it upon your lusts" (James 4:3).

After salvation, a boy immediately began praying for a car. He had been poor all his life. 

"Dear God, give me a car," he prayed sincerely. Then added, "If you give me a car, I'll pick up 

people and take them to church." He was bargaining with God. However, God looked through 

the words and saw the boy's selfish desire. He wanted a car to take girls on dates and so all the 

fellows would think he was somebody. God didn't answer the request. Years later, he became a 

pastor and still didn't have a car. In God's time, the members of the church got together and 

bought him a car. When your motives are right and you are willing to do anything to accomplish 

God's will, God will give you a car or whatever you need. 

9. Your prayers are not answered if you don't give to poor people. We must open up 

our pocketbooks if we expect to unplug God's ears. "Whoso stoppeth his ears at the cry of the 

poor, he also shall cry himself, but shall not be heard" (Prov. 21:13). When we pray for money, 

we must be careful of our motives. God had promised to supply our needs as well as the needs of 

other people. When there are people poorer than we are, and we do not help them, how can we 

expect God to look on our needs? 

First, we should give our tithes to the church, which is one way of looking after the 

needy. We cannot pray for money until we have been obedient in giving God His tithe. The 

more we give to God, the more He gives to us, especially as we ask Him for money. 

Second, giving to the church may not be enough; we should give directly to the poor. We 

give them our time, our compassion, and our money. Most of the bus ministry in Sunday 

Schools is aimed at the poor. Some sophisticated Christians criticize the bus ministry because it 

brings in many poor people. Others criticize the great amount of money it takes to bring children 

in on the bus. But when we give the gospel to the poor, we are making it possible for God to 

answer our prayers. 

10. Your prayers are hindered when you quarrel with your mate. Some husbands 

and wives fight. The Bible commands that husband and wife live together peacefully so that 

their prayers can be answered. "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to 

knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of 

the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered" (I Peter 3:7). When a husband fusses with his 

wife about keeping the house clean, how can the children see Christ in the father? Then if the 

father and mother pray for their child to get saved, their arguments have made it impossible for 

them to get an answer to their prayer. 

11. Your prayers are not answered because you are not persistent. The Bible 

teaches us to be diligent in prayer, and come to Him on many occasions. Jesus taught that, "Men 

ought always to pray, and not to faint" (Luke 18:1). Fainting is giving up. Be persistent in your 

prayers. Jesus commands, "'Ask, and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find, knock, and it 

shall be opened unto you" (Matt. 7:7). In the original language, it says, "Keep on asking ... keep 

on seeking . . . and keep on knocking." When God sees our determination, He gives us what we 

ask. 

However, if you keep on asking and it is not God's will, He will change your prayer. On 

three occasions, Paul prayed for the thorn to be removed from him. "God, take this thorn from

me so I can be a better preacher" (II Cor. 12:8). However, after praying for this healing three 

times, Paul accepted God's alternative, "My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made 

perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of 

Christ may rest upon me" (11 Cor. 12:9).

Chapter 6 

USING YOUR SPIRITUAL GIFTS 

Now that you are a child of God, you will want to serve Him as did Mardelle Holt. She 

had been reared in a Sunday School and knew the Bible, yet never received the Lord. As a 

secretary several years out of high school, she couldn't find a mate. She began searching for 

answers and her pursuit led her to a gospel-preaching church. She received the Lord and threw 

herself vigorously into serving God. 

"I want to do everything I can," she told the pastor. They gave her a Sunday School class 

where she visited her pupils, held parties and became absorbed in teaching. After a while her 

"single" friends told her she was missing life by spending all her time in Sunday School. They 

suggested she attend the “career” class where she could enjoy their fellowship. Also, they noted 

she needed to study the Bible. 

"I'm not sure I have the gift of teaching," Mardelle said while resigning her class. Yet 

God was using her in that class. Going into the "career" class, she has made friends but the 

person taking over her Sunday School class has not been as conscientious as Mardelle. She has 

gifts but now they are dormant. Some people think Mardelle made the wrong 

Everyone should be serving God according to the spiritual gift he has. Paul tells us, 

"Every man has his proper gift of God" (I Cor. 7:7). And Peter repeats the same truth "As every 

man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another" (I Peter 4: 10). 

"If I could sing like her, I'd serve the Lord," is an oft-heard excuse. People envy the gifts 

of others yet have little guidance in finding their own gifts. Many would like to play a beautiful 

piano offertory in church, yet they are not willing to practice three hours a day for years. 

"Preaching is not my gift," a young high school boy told his Sunday School teacher, "I 

should not preach unless I am called." There was no desire in his heart to be a minister. 

"Everybody ought to be able to preach," announced his pastor from the pulpit. Which one 

is right? Confusion about spiritual gifts abounds, yet Paul exhorts, "Now concerning spiritual 

gifts, brethren, I would not have you ignorant" (I Cor. 12:1). 

You have a gift. Don't be afraid of that term or the ability God has given to you. This 

chapter is written to help you (1) understand spiritual gifts, (2) find your gift, and (3) use it for 

the glory of God. A spiritual gift is an ability to serve God. There are three composite lists in the 

Bible: Romans 12:6-8, I Corinthians 12:28-30, and Ephesians 4:11. Jesus told the parable of the 

talents. One servant had ten talents, another five, and the last only one. These talents were 

given, "every man according to his ability" (Matt. 25:15). A talent which was a measure of 

silver, in the parable, represented a man's ability. 

You don't have the same spiritual gifts as other people. In the parable of the talents, each 

man was given a different number of talents—ten, five and one. The man who used his talent

faithfully received others. You may have three talents: teaching, giving money, and 

administration. God expects you to do the very best possible with those three talents. 

But then again, every talent gets different results. Paul places them in order, noting, "God 

hath set some in the church: first apostles, second prophets, third teachers" (I Cor. 12:28). The 

fact that the gifts are numbered means that some are more important (or more effective) than 

others. 

No wonder some people have difficulty finding their spiritual gifts if no two people have 

the same gifts and they are numbered in priority. The natural question you may ask is, "How can 

I find my spiritual gift?" 

1. Since a gift is the evidence of the Holy Spirit, you must be in tune with Him. A 

spiritual gift may be a natural gift with the Holy Spirit working through it. Paul describes a 

spiritual gift as "the manifestation of the Spirit" (I Cor. 12:7). A young lady may sing beautifully 

with all the training that a rich, natural voice displays, yet make no spiritual impact in the hearers. 

The next young lady might have a simple voice with little training, yet when she sings the Holy 

Spirit draws people closer to Christ. The first girl does not have a spiritual gift, whereas the 

second does. 

Your spiritual gift is manifested when you are filled with the Spirit (Eph. 5:17), which is 

allowing the Holy Spirit to work through you. Those who are filled have separated themselves 

from sin and yielded their lives for service. 

2. The Holy Spirit placed embryonic gifts in you when you were saved. Many things 

happened in your life when you received Jesus Christ. One of them was the Holy Spirit coming 

into your life to give you abilities to serve God. The giving of gifts is tied to salvation. "When 

he (Christ) ascended up on high, he led captivity captive, and gave gifts unto men" (Eph. 4:8). 

This verse is tied with the resurrection, the point of victory in Christ's death. In that victory He 

gave abilities to His followers so that they in turn could be victorious in service. At the moment 

of your salvation, this gift was placed in your heart, although not fully developed. 

A pastor looking out on a group of teenagers doesn't know which one will be a 

missionary, doctor, accountant, or housewife. They all have different gifts for potential service. 

Some will find God's will and serve Christ effectively, others will choke out their spiritual 

strength. Since you have a spiritual gift, pray for wisdom to develop it. 

3. You find your gift by doing the tasks at hand. The Bible teaches "Whatsoever thy 

hand findeth to do, do it with thy might" (Ecc. 9-10). This means we are to give instant 

obedience to service, especially when the opportunity arises. If there is an emergency and a 

Sunday School teacher is needed, go do the best job you can. Don't ask, "Is my gift teaching?" 

When someone is needed to help set up chairs at the church, don't ask "Is this my gift?" 

Obviously this principle can't be applied in every instance. If the piano player is not 

there, you can’t play without training. The same goes for singing a solo. Then, too, people won't 

ask you to do what they know you're unable to do.

Faithfulness in a small capacity leads to a promotion in God's sight. Jerry Falwell 

preaches to millions over the Old Time Gospel Hour television network, yet he began as a 

student at Baptist Bible College, Springfield, Missouri, by teaching one fourth grade boy at High 

Street Baptist Church. He faced the usual discouragements but his faithful ministry to that one 

boy enabled Falwell to build the class up to 53 students before the year was over. 

If you want an opportunity to preach to millions, develop your ability by preaching to the 

handful of people who need to hear you now. 

4. You find new abilities by exercising your present gifts. A spiritual ability is a gift 

of God and when you exercise it, it is an act of stewardship. You are using what is God's. "As 

every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of 

the manifold grace of God" (I Peter 4: 1 0). 

The parable of the talents (Matt. 25:14-30) illustrates the importance of using the gift 

given by God rather than letting it he dormant. The man who buried his one talent was not 

rewarded; his gift was taken from him. Those with five or ten talents saw their abilities 

multiplied. Paul told young Timothy, "Neglect not the gift that is in thee" (I Tim. 4:14). If God 

entrusts you with the gift of teaching, now is the time for you to obey. 

. When you use your gift, it stirs up your own gift and gifts in other people. Your witness 

for Christ will help others to have boldness. Your counsel will help someone else through a 

difficulty. 

Your gift is not stagnant- it can grow. Just because you can teach, does not mean that is 

all God wants you to do. "Covet earnestly the best gifts" (I Cor. 12:31) means the Bible expects 

us to grow in our ability to use our gifts or to get more gifts. Don't be satisfied but grow in 

service. 

5. You find your gift by the "hot poker" method. To get a poker hot, you shove it in 

the fire. You will have a warm heart for God by associating with people who are doing God's 

will. But you get more than heat by such associations. You will become like your friends and 

you will have gifts like those who train you. 

Paul told Timothy that he got his gift through preaching. "Neglect not the gift that is in 

thee, which was given thee by prophecy" (I Tim. 4:14). When Paul preached he was using his 

gift but it had an impact on Timothy. Paul's preaching made Timothy a preacher. 

The gift of love is acquired when someone loves you. You develop a gift of teaching 

when you enroll in a training course and allow someone to prepare you for service. 

6. Since the Holy Spirit magnifies Christ, spiritual gifts emerge as you lift Him up. 

A spiritual gift is the empowering of the Holy Spirit. Jesus said of the Holy Spirit, "He shall 

glorify me; for he shall receive of mine, and shall show it unto you" (John 16:14). One of the 

main duties of the Holy Spirit is to magnify Jesus Christ. He wants to use your abilities to do 

that.

You'll find your gift when your motives are pure. God won't give you a greater ability 

just to enhance your ego. He will give you greater abilities as you enhance Christ. The psalmist 

promised, "Delight thyself also in the Lord, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart" (Ps. 

37:4).

Chapter 7 

DEALING WITH SIN 

After you are saved, you will have to answer the question "What's right and what's wrong 

in life?" One Christian thinks it's wrong to say heck, calling it a swear word. The next says it is a 

sin for a boy's long hair to touch his collar. Is it wrong to attend X-rated movies downtown while 

you watch the same production two years later edited for television? A mother says it's wrong to 

sip a cocktail, yet will use a little liquor in her cooking. What's right for a Christian . . . and 

wrong? This chapter will try to stay away from pronouncements, calling acts and attitudes sin. 

Rather, principles will be laid down from the Word of God by which each Christian can 

determine God's will for his life. 

1. You must do what God directs. The Westminster Confession of Faith asks, "What is 

sin?" The first part of the answer is, "Sin is any want of conformity." Sin is anything that does 

not conform to God's Word. You are commanded to win souls (Matt. 28:19). Are you an 

obedient son if you are not a soul-winner? When a mother says to her son, "Go to the store and 

get bread," what should be her reaction when he disobeys? When she finds him playing soldiers 

in the corner lot, she can't be happy. He has disobeyed his mother (Eph. 6:1) and if he continues, 

a serious flaw will develop in his character. 

There are certain commandments that are easy to obey, meaning there is no question 

about what the Christian is to do. You are to tithe (Mal. 3:10), attend church (Heb. 10:25), 

confess your sins (I Jn. 1:9), and love other Christians (Jn. 13:34). The same can be said for 

reading your Bible, praying, and watching for His second coming. 

Perhaps the sin of omission is not as great as the sin of hardheaded disobedience. When 

father asked his 12-year-old boy to wash the car and he forgets, it is not as bad as his twin 

brother's throwing mud at the car. The father is displeased with both and he deals with both 

offenses differently, but he can't overlook the one who didn't wash the car. The Scriptures teach, 

"Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin" (James 4:17). 

2. You must not do what God says is wrong. The Ten Commandments are negative 

warnings, beginning, "Thou shall not." You sin when you go against God's commandments God 

says it's wrong to kill, lie, steal, commit adultery, and have idols in your life (Ex. 20:3-17). 

The commands of God are not grievous. He did not take away the "fun" things to do. 

Some have mistakenly thought, "All the pleasure is gone, now that I am a Christian." God is not 

a mean Father who keeps his children locked up in a closet all day. Jesus said, "I am come to 

give you life, and fife more abundantly" (Jn. 10:10). 

But like a wise Father, God knows some things will harm His children. What parents 

would allow their children to play near a busy highway or in a field with snakes? When God 

says no, don't rebel or see how close you can get to the edge without going over. Try to see why 

God said no. When you understand the purpose of God, you can obey with enthusiasm.

3. You must obey your conscience. Your conscience is a moral regulator that flashes 

information to the brain. It tells you what it thinks is right and wrong. Like the thermostat 

upstairs, when things get chilly it starts the furnace in the basement. The old adage "Let your 

conscience be your guide" is true only half the time. When your conscience tells you something 

is wrong, it's a sin to go against your conscience. The conscience is pure at birth, reflecting the 

image of God in which you were made. The conscience tells man it is wrong to murder, steal 

and lie. You have the moral law of God branded in your heart. God recognizes the moral law 

that He has implanted within man and you sin when you violate your conscience. 

This applies even to questionable things. A young man's father had been an alcoholic and 

the boy grew up hating the misery that was brought upon his family by alcohol. In restaurants he 

was careful not to purchase food with any taste of liquor. Because of his conscience he felt it 

would be wrong to violate his convictions, even though other Christians thought nothing wrong 

with wine-flavored cooking sauce. 

On the other hand, when your conscience tells you an action is right, it cannot always be 

trusted; the conscience can be "seared." This pictures a hot poker burning a scab on the skin. 

"Having their conscience seared with a hot iron" (I Tim. 4:2). You sear your conscience by 

continually going against its instructions. A Bible college dean became emotionally involved 

with a coed. Even though the Scriptures explicitly forbid adultery, the dean disobeyed Scripture 

and his conscience. When the president found out the situation and brought the dean to dismiss 

him, the dean tried to justify his sin because Abraham and David had concubines. The dean had 

seared his conscience and wanted to make sin acceptable. 

4. You must not harbor impure thoughts. We live in a "girl watchers" age. Some 

men enjoy thumbing through Playboy Magazine or walking the beaches to look at the bikinis. A 

lot of wives know this and mistakenly say, "It's all right to window shop; just don't touch." 

Sinful thoughts involve more than sex; the whole issue of lust is involved. Some men 

dream of money and the lust of "things" consumes their mind. Some women spend so much time 

watching the soap operas that the lust of illicit happiness eats them up. 

Eve lusted in her mind before she sinned by eating the forbidden fruit. "But I fear, lest by 

any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtility, so your minds should be corrupted 

from the simplicity that is in Christ" (II Cor. 11:3). The first step toward sin is usually not the act 

but our minds thinking about the act. 

Lust is similar to the thought processes that lead a person to buy a new car-. He feels he 

can't afford the price, but he starts "just looking around." He enjoys sitting behind the wheel. As 

he drives the old car, he mentally picks out new cars, whereas he hadn't been aware of the late 

models. Subtly, his mind tells him everything that is wrong with the present car and he begins 

searching for ways to finance the new car. When he's hooked, he signs a 36-month time payment 

plan. "Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God; for God cannot be tempted with 

evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own 

lust, and enticed" (James 1:13-14).

5. You must not defile your body. Some people have the attitude "My soul lives 

forever . . . ignore the body." As a result, they overfeed their fat body, stink it up like a tobacco 

barn or pickle it in alcohol. You cannot separate your body from your soul until death. But the 

way you treat your body reflects your attitude to spiritual things, and vice versa. Therefore, 

harming your body is sin because it destroys your Christian testimony, shortens your life, stunts 

your Christian growth and mars your character. 

A young man fixed himself a drink at a cocktail party. He passed the glass to all of his 

friends, "Put something in," he begged, meaning some type of drugs they had. He went into 

convulsions and was blacked-out for four months. After he regained consciousness, a minister 

led him to the Lord. He spent a year convalescing at a Christian camp. Feeling a call to the 

ministry, he went to Bible college but continued to experience blackouts when faced with any 

pressure or tension. Not being able to serve the Lord, he became depressed, which in turn 

increased the blackouts. In a fit of depression he committed suicide. The final sin of taking his 

life began with the first sin of drug abuse. 

6. You must not adversely influence others. When Cain killed Abel, he asked, "Am I 

my brother's keeper?" Many have repeated that question, implying they are not responsible for 

others. However, John Doane observed, "No man is an island. " We live in a human community 

where every action is both influenced by and has an impact on others. 

The Bible used the phrase "stumbling block" to teach that it is a sin to harm others by our 

influence. Paul warns, "Take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumbling 

block to them that are weak" (I Cor. 8:9). In many New Testament villages the meat sold in the 

market had been sacrificed to idols. Those who had been idol worshippers refused to eat any 

meat sacrificed to idols because it was a compromise of their convictions. However, a few 

Christians thought that hamburger was hamburger, ignoring the convictions of other Christians. 

Paul agreed to this opinion. "Neither, if we eat, are we the better; neither, if we eat not, are we 

the worse" (I Cor. 8:8). However, Paul said it was wrong to hurt other people by what we eat 

(our influence). "If meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh" (I Cor. 8:13). 

Many feel dancing is an artistic form, reflecting coordination, style and rhythm. 

However, some Christians have been ensnared by lust through the power of suggestion in touch, 

rhythmic beat and tempting words. Can a Christian who enjoys dancing destroy his brother for 

whom Christ died? 

What to Do With Sin 

Recently a minister's car began to sputter and lost its power. When it happened he was 

irritable, and wouldn't go out on the road because he was afraid it would stop. The mechanic 

checked out the spark plug, fuel pump, distributor; he couldn't find the problem. Finally his boss 

told him to blow out the fuel line. A little bit of trash was causing all of the minister's problems. 

There was not enough grit to fill a quarter of a teaspoon, yet the car lost its power. 

Sin is like trash in the fuel line. You lose power to do the will of God and fall into bad 

habits. Sin makes you irritable and keeps you from doing what you know is right. God does not 

want you to sin but He knows that you will, just as a gardener doesn't want weeds but expects

them. Therefore, God has planned an escape hatch - for His sinning children. "If we confess our 

sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our - sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (I 

Jn. 1:9). 

A bumper sticker on cars announces "Christians are not perfect, just forgiven." That 

motto needs to be taken from our cars and applied to our hearts. 

Does confession mean we constantly walk around confessing our sins to God? A 

conscientious student at college had an overriding guilt complex. He constantly confessed his 

inadequacies. Every time he handed in a paper to the teacher, he went and apologized for not 

doing a better job. When talking with friends, he apologized for standing in their way, talking 

too long or not talking at all. His friends began to shun him. He didn't understand the New 

Testament word confession. It means more than just to say, "I'm sorry!" In the original language, 

it means to "say the same thing." To confess is to call the sin the same thing that God calls it. 

God did not deal with sin by words but with action. He gave His Son to die a vicarious 

death for sinners. We must deal with sin just as severely as God. 

First we must recognize sin for what it is; it condemns us. When Achan disobeyed God, 

he was stoned. When Moses' sister became jealous, God sent leprosy upon her. When Ananias 

and Sapphira lied, God struck them dead. You should hate sin just as much as God does. So a 

light confession is not enough. 

Second, God applied the blood to sin. There was no other way to cleanse the spot. Since 

the blood was applied at one moment in history when Christ died, you must do the same. Don't 

think about your sin or feel guilty about its consequences. Do something. Immediately apply the 

cleansing blood of Jesus Christ. "Father, forgive me for my sin and cleanse me by the blood." 

Third, keep short accounts with God. Since sin breaks fellowship, get back on speaking 

terms with God quickly by confessing your sin. "He that covereth his sins shall not prosper" 

(Prov. 28:13). A little boy stole watermelons from his father's patch and went down to the creek 

to eat them. He always buried the rind and seeds in the swamp dirt. 

"Someone's been stealing my watermelons," the father said to the son. He asked the boy 

if he knew anything about it. The boy said no. Later the father and son went fishing by the creek 

where they saw watermelon vines growing out of the soft dirt. 

"How did these watermelon vines get here?" the father asked. Conviction struck the son's 

heart and he confessed. The Bible says, "Be sure your sin will find you out" (Num. 32:23). 

The fourth step calls for public action. Sometimes private confession of sin is not 

enough. The Bible commands that we 'confess our sins, but it doesn't say to whom. Sometimes, 

but not always, we must confess to others. "Confess your faults one to another" (James 5:16). 

Some Christians have taken this verse out of context and ruined their lives. A pastor confessed 

desires of homosexuality, even though he hadn't committed the act. His confession ultimately 

led to a church split. Five years later, the spiritual scars were not healed in that town. 

Indiscriminate confession can destroy a person’s testimony, get him fired or cause others to lose

espect for him. The following rule has been followed by many Christians: Confess private sins 

privately, sins against a brother to that person, and confess open sins openly. When the church 

knows about your sin, you should make an open confession. 

The fifth step is restitution. Make every effort to set your testimony straight. If you have 

stolen or "borrowed" property from others, it must be returned. If you have lied to others, the 

record must be set straight. Harry Dean was a salesman in Roanoke, Virginia, living a fast and 

flighty life. A friend cosigned a thousand-dollar note and later Harry Dean declared bankruptcy. 

The friend had to pay the note. Several years later Harry Dean received the Lord and endeavored 

to pay every bill he ever owed. Taking the thousand dollars over to his former friend's home, 

Harry handed it to him. "I want to tell you why you're getting this money back." For the next two 

hours Harry Dean explained that Jesus Christ makes a difference in every part of a person's life. 

Conclusion 

This chapter has warned about the dangers of sin in your life. Sin can destroy your life, 

but just cutting off sin will not make you a child of God. Simply cutting off sin will make you a 

fake Christian. As they walked through the park, a father showed his son a large lion spurting 

water from his mouth. He explained, "That lion is not real, he can't taste the water in his mouth. 

He can't enjoy this park.” 

God doesn't want anyone to sin, but He gets no enjoyment out of fake Christians. He 

wants real Christians who can drink the water of life and enjoy His presence.

Chapter 8 

OVERCOMING TEMPTATION 

"How can I get victory over cigarettes?" a young lady recently asked. Before she was 

saved, the habit never bothered her. Now she feels guilty about smoking but can't quit. 

Now that you are a Christian, you will face new temptations. Perhaps you cursed 

frequently before you were saved. You never realized you were offending God by taking His 

name in vain. Because it's a habit, some people have difficulty cleaning up their mouth. Some 

sins will be easy to give up, others will hang on to plague you. Those habits that hang on will 

continually crop up, tempting you to sin. Other sins will creep into your life, things you've never 

done or thought of doing. These will tempt you away from God. Some new sins can be flicked 

off like a fly off a table. Other sins are harder to rid yourself of; like a hacking cough, they 

linger. 

Temptation is like the person trying to quit drinking alcohol, yet he's an addict. At one 

time he enjoyed liquor but there came a time when he wanted to quit. The more he tried to quit, 

the stronger its grip. 

Jesus taught us to pray, "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil" (Matt. 

6:13). Since Jesus instructed us to make this prayer, He certainly expected it to be answered 

when we pray properly. God was so confident that you could overcome temptation, that He 

promised a crown to those who are victorious. "Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for 

when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that 

love him" (James 1:12). 

King David called upon God for deliverance, "Deliver me according to thy word" (Ps. 

119:17). We see a picture of David earnestly praying for God to give him victory over his foes. 

The phrase "according to thy word" can be interpreted two ways. First, David could mean, 

"Deliver me as You promised." God's Word is the basis of victory. God had promised that Israel 

would be victorious over her enemies, so David expected their defeat. He was praying that God 

would keep His promise. The second interpretation of "according" means that God's Word was 

the agency of the victory. When Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, He got victory by claiming 

God's Word (Matt. 4:4,7,10). At another place, God's Word promises, "Thy word have I hid in 

mine heart, that I might not sin against thee" (Ps. 119:11). In the heat of temptation a young 

person can quote the Scripture and get victory. 

1. You cannot expect deliverance from temptation until you are a child of God. God 

does not help a man overcome sinful habits until that man gets saved. 

A Pharisee and publican went into the Temple. to pray (Luke 18:9-14). The Pharisee was 

religious, yet his heart was not right with God. He prayed, "I thank thee that I am not as other 

men ... extortioners, unjust, adulterers." 

The publican was a sinner, and he knew it. He knew he could not change his sinful 

habits. Yet at the same time, he was ashamed of his sin. He prayed, "God be merciful to me a

sinner." The Scofield Reference Bible interprets this phrase, "Be toward me as thou art when 

thou lookest upon the atoning blood." The Bible says that the publican "went down to his house 

justified." 

God says, "All have sinned" (Rom. 3:23). Therefore, none of us can brag about being 

perfect. Then the Bible announces, "Our good works are as filthy rags" (Isa. 64:6). So, we can't 

boast. Salvation is the work of Jesus Christ; it is not our effort. "Not by works of righteousness 

which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us" (Titus 3:5). 

When you accept Jesus Christ, God makes your record in heaven perfect, just as when 

you pay your fine for speeding your record on the computer is marked paid. That doesn't mean 

you won't be tempted to speed again. In the same way, our sins are forgiven when we are saved 

but that doesn't mean we won't be tempted to sin again. 

2. You will need constant victory over the old nature. Just because you're a Christian 

doesn't mean you won't have problems. When you became a Christian, your sinful nature did not 

leave you. This old nature will stay with you until you die. But there is help. When you became 

a Christian, God gave you a powerful new nature. It can overcome the old desires. Paul tells us, 

"Put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the 

deceitful lusts" (Eph. 4:22). Romans 7:18-25 is a picture of a Christian struggling for 

deliverance. He longs to be set free from the bondage of old habits. Notice Paul's agonizing cry, 

"O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" (Rom. 7:24). 

Deliverance comes by. Jesus Christ who helps the new nature to defeat the old nature. 

Paul notes, "Put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness" 

(Eph. 4:24). 

Man's heart is like a wrestling arena, with the old and new man struggling for mastery. 

Victory belongs to the one who won't give up. 

A farmer watched two of his dogs fighting in the yard. "Which one will win?" the 

stranger asked. The farmer grinned, "The one I say 'sic 'em' to! " 

Victory over the old nature comes when we obey the Bible. Don't make a big issue out of 

obedience, just do it. Obedience and victory is like stopping for the red light. When you first 

begin driving, you realized there was danger in going through the red light, so you stopped. Now 

you approach an intersection, there is no great deliberation. You just stop for the signal, you just 

obey. Probably there is no temptation to go through the red light. Obedience is a "prior 

decision" in the mind. The same "prior decision" must be made in your heart concerning the old 

nature. You hav6 yielded your life to Jesus Christ. When temptations come along, don't go 

through a moral deliberation. Like approaching the red light, just stop. 

3. You need special power for deliverance over unexpected temptations. The addict 

is not surprised with his temptations. It's a day-by-day struggle. These temptations constantly 

drain his energy like arthritis saps the strength of its victim. It's always a problem, yet there are 

other temptations that come suddenly. These are like a ruptured appendix. You must respond

suddenly. If you are not ready, they will destroy you. Joseph was a servant in Potiphar's house 

when he was suddenly faced with the temptation of adultery. This was not a nagging problem 

but a crisis. Running away delivered Joseph from evil. The Bible teaches, "Resist the devil, and 

he will flee from you" (James 4:7). You may have to grit your teeth and say "No!" But whatever 

you do, determine in your heart you will not sin. 

God has a victory for those who determine in their heart they will not sin. "There hath no 

temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you 

to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that 

ye may be able to bear it" (I Cor. 10: 13). The popular phrase is "biting the bullet" or "toughing it 

out." However we overcome temptation, God has promised "a way to bear it. " 

4. You need deliverance from the fear of spiritual failure. Franklin D. Roosevelt 

once said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself" Fear may be nothing but an illusion but it 

does destroy our peace and disrupt our normal Christian life. A little boy refused to walk past the 

graveyard, claiming to be afraid of ghosts. 

"A ghost can't hurt you, " an uncle told him with great details and descriptions. 

"No, but a ghost can make you hurt yourself," the scared little boy remarked. 

David said, "I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears" (Ps. 

34:4). David and his men were in the cave Adullam. He was a hunted man and Saul sought to 

kill him. Yet David could say, "He delivered me from all fears." The word all is important. If 

you listen to God and trust in Him, He can take away your fear. Proverbs 1:33 promises: "Whoso 

hearkeneth unto me shall dwell in safety, and shall be quiet from fear of evil." 

Fear takes away much of the joy of life, whether it's being afraid of losing one's job, one's 

mate, or one 9 s life. 

In spite of our population explosion, many people feel isolated in a crowded world. 

Apartment dwellers don't know their neighbors, and workers in a crowded office are only 

casually acquainted. It almost seems that the more people that are crowded into a small 

surrounding, the less they're able to relate to one another. As a result, many experience 

loneliness, which leads to depression. 

Recently, a 33-year-old single girl blew her brains out in her apartment in a tall New York 

condominium. She left a note, "I just can't seem to find a husband and no one seems to care." 

Elijah would appear to be one man with no temptation from fear and loneliness. Elijah's 

faith had accomplished victories. Food was provided for him at a widow's house at Zarephath. 

He brought rain on Mount Carmel. He stood up against Ahab, Jezebel and the prophets of Baal. 

One would think Elijah would never fail. Then suddenly poor Elijah, tired and exhausted, fled 

for his life. He sat under a juniper tree and prayed to die (I Kings 19:4). He claimed he was the 

only one faithful to God (I Kings 19:10). Spiritual collapse can happen to anyone.

First, God reminded Elijah of His power. As Elijah stood before his cave, "Behold the 

Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks 

before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord 

was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire; and 

after the fire a still small voice" (I Kings 19:11-12). God's word to Elijah came in a whisper. 

When you get discouraged, remember God's small voice is recorded in the Scripture. Study the 

Bible and remember that God is all-powerful. God loves you and wants His best for you. When 

you accept the power of God, you can have victory over fear. 

Next, God gave Elijah a job. He was to anoint one man king and another to carry on his 

ministry. If you are discouraged, start serving God. When you begin binding the wounds of 

others, you forget about your own cuts. 

Finally, God reminded Elijah that he was not the only faithful one in Israel; there were 

seven thousand who had not bowed their knee to Baal. Quit feeling sorry for-yourself. God has 

promised, "Fear thou not; for I am with thee, be not dismayed for I am thy God; I will strengthen 

thee; yea, I will help thee; Yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness" (Isa. 

41:10). 

Steps to Victory Over Temptation 

Temptation falls into two categories; first the desire to sin, and second the temptation not 

to do right. Temptation is a desire to slip into an X-rated movie, commit adultery, drink just one 

beer, walk out of a store without paying and a million other things you know are sin. 

Temptation also is wanting to stay home from church services, criticize the minister, not 

tithe, and a second million things that you also know are wrong. 

"I don't get mad and fly off the handle too often,” a wife once justified her temper. 

"Our car loaded with kids has to skid into the ditch only once to hurt someone," the 

husband replied. 

Don't justify your faults, do something about them. Jerry Falwell often repeats, "The test 

of a man's character is not what trips him up but what keeps him down. " 

1. You can have victory through the Bible. Jesus was the only person never to sin (II 

Cor. 5:21), yet he was tempted (Heb. 4:15). His steps to overcome temptation are a pattern for us 

to follow. He quoted the Bible, "It is written" (Matt. 4:4). Jesus memorized the Scriptures as a 

boy and defended Himself with them as a man. The Bible can defend us. "For the word of God 

is quick and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword" (Heb. 4:12). 

The Bible is not magical, so don't rub it like a rabbit's foot when tempted. That is not the 

way to get victory. First, constantly study the Bible. It will give you strength of conviction to 

stand against sin. Second, if you are caught in lust, quote the Scriptures. It will remind you of 

God's will and put your thoughts back on God. Third, constant study of the Bible will keep you 

clean. The Bible is called "water" (Eph. 5:26) which washes away dirt. When you cut the grass,

the blade sprays dust that gets in your clothes and covers your skin. A relaxing shower revives 

you and makes you feel good all over, just to wash the dirt off. In the same way, the Bible cleans 

up the tempted Christian. Jesus said, "Sanctify (cleanse) them through thy word, thy word is 

true"' (Jn. 17:17). Again the psalmist said', "Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way'? 

By taking heed thereto according to thy word" (Ps. 119:9). After working around filthy-mouthed 

men all day, you might be influenced by them. Read the Bible; it's like a refreshing shower. 

2. You can have victory through faith. The problem with this principle is that faith is 

usually weakest in the throes of lust. The tempter knows how to turn eyes away from Christ. 

Temptation is looking at the things we shouldn't see. So it is difficult to have faith in temptation. 

Your faith can be stirred when you know how everything will work out. A mischievous 

boy wouldn't turn out the lights when his mother told him to go to bed. He loved reading Dick 

Tracy thrillers. His favorite detective would be captive in a dungeon filling with water and 

inhabited with alligators. It was hard for him to obey when Dick Tracy was in a predicament. 

You will find it hard to obey when temptation threatens. The little boy learned that if he read the 

last chapter, everything came out all right. The Christian can overcome his temptation when he 

knows God will work all things to his good. 

But faith is more than looking at the last chapter. Faith is looking to Jesus Christ now. 

Paul claimed his victory by faith. He knew Christ had died for sin. "But God forbid that I should 

glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me and I 

unto the world" (Gal. 6:14). Daily, Paul took his place in Christ, the world was crucified to him. 

The secret is simply Christ in you and you in Christ. This is a faith promise that you must claim. 

When purchasing a car you usually ask, "What is the horsepower?" Power is necessary to 

move a ton of steel down the expressway. We have God's power in us—Jesus Christ. Faith 

releases the power to overcome. 

3. You can have victory through resisting the devil. God blesses old fashioned 

hardheadedness. A snaggletoothed old bachelor asked the single schoolteacher why she had 

turned down his 25 proposals of marriage. "Because I don't want to marry you!" she replied. 

You should have that determination. Know the type of person you want to be and stick to your 

guns. 

The biggest two words in the English language are, "Do right." Dr. Bob Jones, Sr., used 

to add, “Do right even if the stars fall." Your spirituality is not measured by how many tears you 

shed at the altar, how high you jump or how loud you shout "Amen!" Your character is measured 

by how straight you walk when you come down and how often you talk about Jesus. 

The Lord never forced His cross on anyone. It's your responsibility to take it up; this 

involves resisting the devil. The Lord never promised He'd take a stick and run the devil away, 

like the old farmer had to run the dogs out of the yard so friends could come visit. It's your job to 

resist the devil.

Sometimes resisting the devil means running away. A former drunk shouldn't try to resist 

the devil in a bar. A man who has committed adultery with his secretary should not let her work 

in the same office. He shouldn't leave temptation around. A son met his father at the door and 

proudly announced, "Today, I beat a snake. " 

"Did you beat him with a rock or a stick?" the father asked. 

"I beat him running!!!" the proud little fellow replied. 

You have the promise that when you resist the devil, "he will flee from you" (James 4:7). 

Be careful where you run when you leave temptation. The next verse commands, "Draw nigh to 

God, and he will draw nigh to you" (James 4:8). The ultimate victory over temptation is in Jesus 

Christ. 

When you get victory over temptation, you will grow in Christ and others will be drawn 

to Christ through you. Gypsy Smith tells the story of a lady who came to him to pray for her 

unsaved husband. The evangelist talked with him about salvation. He declined, "My wife has a. 

temper and when she gets mad, she's no Christian. " 

Two weeks later Gypsy Smith saw the man come forward to be saved. He asked why. 

"I was going fishing and knocked the lamp over in the hall. She said, 'That's all right; 

we'll get another one.' " The repentant man said, "Now I know she is a Christian."

Chapter 9 

POWER FOR LIVING 

A hundred years ago, A. J. Gordon, who was filled with the Spirit, prayed, "Be thorough 

with me, Lord, be thorough." He wanted God to point out every small flaw that prevented a godly 

walk. Gordon built a great church in Boston, Massachusetts, because he wanted the Holy Spirit 

to influence every part of his fife. 

D.L. Moody was walking the streets of New York when he felt an urgent need for prayer. 

Borrowing a room from a friend, he prayed for two days lest the power of God should smite him 

dead. Dwight L. Moody was filled with the Spirit and shook two continents for God because the 

Holy Spirit completely controlled him. 

When Welshman Christmas Evans sought the filling of the Holy Spirit, he wrote a 

thirteen-point covenant with God. Evans told God what he would do if filled by the Spirit. 

Because of his sincerity, Evans kept his word with God. In return, God filled him with power 

and revival came to all of Wales. 

When you read of the experiences of great men, be encouraged. What God has done for 

them, He can do for, you. But be careful; don't let the experiences of others be your guide. 

When you seek the filling of the Holy Spirit, don't attempt to imitate their experiences, such as 

writing a covenant or praying for two days. Follow the principles of Scripture that tell you how 

to be filled with the Spirit. 

Some make their experiences the standard for others, seldom quoting the Word of God. 

When you lead people to Jesus Christ, don't force your experience on them because God saves 

people in different ways at different times. Some are saved in Sunday School, others in Bible 

classes, some through revivals and many as a result of personal work. Getting the experience is 

not the issue. Getting the Person (Jesus Christ) is important. Curtis Hutson once said, "I wanted 

the fullness of the Holy Spirit more than I wanted to live." As a result, Hutson was able to 

influence many lives through his preaching. 

Paul exhorts the believers, "And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled 

with the Spirit" (Eph. 5:18). Since God commanded a Christian to be filled with the Spirit, 

everyone should seek Him. But many Christians are confused and fearful about the filling. They 

are afraid to seek it. Yet, every Christian is commanded to be filled with the Spirit. This verse 

tells that if getting drunk is wrong, then not being filled with the Spirit is just as wrong. When 

you are drunk with wine you are controlled by the "spirits in the bottle." The "spirits" from the 

bottle control your walk, talk and eyesight. When you are filled with the Holy Spirit, you are 

controlled by the Holy Spirit. Therefore, your walk, talk and sight are controlled by the Holy 

Spirit. 

The Holy Spirit is the power you need to live for God. The Holy Spirit will make you 

Holy and Spiritual. He will give you the ability to overcome a nasty temper or depression. He 

will help you win souls. Consider the following outline to understand the filling of the Holy 

Spirit.

1. The Holy Spirit indwells every believer. When you were saved, the Holy Spirit 

came into your life. Most people picture salvation as only asking Christ to come into their life, 

but the Father and the Spirit also entered at salvation. As a result, the Holy Spirit dwells in every 

believer. "And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, 

crying, Abba, Father" (Gal. 4:6). Again, the Scriptures teach, "Now if any man have not the 

Spirit of Christ, he is none of his" (Rom. 8:9). This verse shows that if you don't have the Holy 

Spirit, you are not saved. When the Christians at Corinth sinned, Paul never threatened them, "If 

you sin, you will lose your salvation." When Paul saw sin in the lives of Christians, he was 

shocked. "What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, 

which ye have of God" (I Cor. 6:19). His message was, "Quit sinning, because you have the 

Holy Spirit." 

When you were saved, the Holy Spirit came into your heart and gave you a desire to clean 

up your life. The unsaved are pictured as dead bodies, and a dead man doesn't have desires. He 

doesn't even want to quit sinning. The Holy Spirit motivates him to seek holiness. 

You don't get better to get saved, 

You get saved to get better. 

You can't get half of the Holy Spirit when you get saved, you get all of Him. You can't 

have any more of a person than the whole person. When you marry, you get all of your wife. 

You don't get an arm one day, a foot the next, and later, her hair. When you say "I do" she 

belongs to you and you belong to her. Therefore, you don't beg to get more of the Holy Spirit. 

You have the Holy Spirit who came into your heart at salvation. You need to act on His power 

that is already there. 

2. The Holy Spirit will never leave you. Jesus promised to send us the Holy Spirit. "I 

will pray the Father, and He will give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you 

forever" (Jn. 14:16). The word forever is applied to individual Christians. Paul repeats this 

truth when he tells the Ephesians to quit sinning because it irritates the Holy Spirit: "Grieve not 

the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed until the day of redemption" (Eph. 4:30). 

Obviously, your iniquity grieves the Holy Spirit. He will dwell in you until the second coming 

(Eph. 1:13,14). "Ye were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, which is the earnest of our 

inheritance unto redemption of the purchased possessions." Once a friend mentioned that he was 

seeking the Holy Spirit. 

" I fasted . . . tarried . . . and I've thirsted according to the Bible. Why can't I get the Holy 

Spirit?" The sincerity of the question was evident. 

I told him, "The Holy Spirit is in you and He will not leave you. The Holy Spirit is a 

person who wants to control your life more than you want to control your life. You've already 

got the Holy Spirit in your heart, now yield to Him so you can realize the potential that is yours.”

The Holy Spirit is like the full tank of fuel in an automobile, just waiting to be ignited. 

But somewhere between the tank and the engine, there is trash in the fuel line. To blame the 

Holy Spirit for our empty lives is like blaming the full tank of gas in a car because the engine 

won't run. We have the fuel of the Holy Spirit in our hearts; now let's get Him working so we 

can get going for God. 

3. The Holy Spirit is a Person, not a substance. Many Christians treat the Holy Spirit 

like a substance that can be poured into a glass. The Holy Spirit is a Person. Also, some treat the 

Holy Spirit like a ubiquitous spirit, such as the spirit of communism or the spirit of Americanism; 

the Holy Spirit is a Person. When Ananias and Sapphira sinned, Peter charged them, "Thou hast 

not lied unto men, but unto God" (Acts 5:4). The Holy Spirit is called "He" when Christ 

predicted "He shall glorify me, for He shall receive of mine, and shall show it unto you" (Jn. 

16:14). 

When the Holy Spirit comes into our lives, we have a new Person within us. Recently, a 

Congressman entered a room. All conversation immediately silenced and everyone rose. Men 

walked over and shook the Congressman's hand; others stood around and watched him. The 

power of the Congressman's personality dominated the room. In the same way, the power of the 

Holy Spirit should dominate your life. The men in the room could have ignored the 

Congressman and gone on with their conversation, but he was so important that they couldn't do 

so. In the same way, Christians can ignore the influence of the Holy Spirit, but it grieves Him (I 

Thess. 5:19). 

The Holy Spirit who is in you has a strong desire to control you for righteousness. The 

Bible teaches, "The Spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy" (Gal. 4:5). The word "lusteth" does 

not mean to coax into sin, but means to desire. The Holy Spirit desires to make us holy. 

Continuing this argument, Paul said, "For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit 

against the flesh; and these are contrary the one to the other" (Gal. 5:17). This means the Holy 

Spirit is fighting against our sinful flesh. He is striving that we might live holy lives. Our 

predominant characteristic is flesh, which means we are selfish. The predominant characteristic 

of the Third Person of the Trinity is spiritual. He wants to make us spiritual Christians. God will 

not force the fullness of the Holy Spirit upon you. You are a free moral agent and can choose 

whom you want to control your life. 

A young lady has two invitations for a date to a college banquet. She may choose either 

boy to escort her for the evening. The choice she makes is determined by the kind of girl she is 

and what she knows of the young man. The choice she makes will determine her enjoyment of 

the evening. You can choose to let the Holy Spirit control your life, which is being filled with 

the Spirit. Or you can choose to let the flesh control your life, which is your own selfish desire. 

A minister recently prayed, "Lord, I'll do anything You want me to do; I want to do Your 

will. If you don't show me Your will, I can't do it. From now on, if I don't know what to do, it's 

Your fault if I don't do, it." This is the prayer of a surrendered Christian. 

Once you have made this prayer, Satan will mock and tempt you. It is one thing to 

surrender, but another thing to stay surrendered. He will say, "You didn't mean it," or "Things

are going so poorly that God has forgotten about you." You may have gone to the altar and 

surrendered to God. Then you backslid. When you went to the altar and wept, you were sincere. 

You may have been embarrassed, thinking, "Every eye in the auditorium is staring at me." After 

you left the church, you slipped into sin. It is not God's fault that you slipped into sin. Don't 

blame Him. Surrendering is only the beginning of the surrendered life. You must make up your 

mind always to do God's will. 

How to Be Filled 

The first section of this chapter showed that you can be filled with the Spirit. Now, let us 

examine some practical steps that will lead you in a Spirit filled life. 

The first step to Spirit power is desire. You begin by wanting to be filled with the Spirit. 

God will not force His Spirit on you, or anyone else. Just as the old adage maintains, "You can 

lead a horse to water, but you -can't make him drink," you cannot force the filling of the Spirit 

upon anyone. 

When you desire the filling of the Spirit, it's the same as thirsting. On a hot summer day 

after working in the sun, you are really thirsty. Jesus described the process, "If any man thirst, let 

him come unto me, and drink . . . this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him 

should receive" (Jn. 7:37,39). You get the Holy Spirit by wanting Him. But not everyone who is 

thirsty gets a cold drink; not everyone who desires the power of God gets it. You must seek it 

correctly. 

The second step is yielding. This is saying one big yes. The big yes is when you submit 

your will to God. When a young girl receives a proposal for marriage, she says yes if she wants 

the man. But that initial yes doesn't guarantee marital happiness. The couple must work at it. 

She must daily submit to the demands of marriage, just as the husband must yield to his new 

relationship. 

This daily yes to Christ keeps you in the center of God's will. The child of God prays, 

"Today I give myself to Thee to be what You want, to go where You lead and to speak what You 

command." 

You need to surrender your attitude, which is nothing less than letting the Lord lead your 

life. The young teen wants to drive the family car, but he is too young for a license. Some teens 

sit behind the wheel of the parked car and pretend they are driving. But the moment of truth 

comes when the parent surrenders the steering wheel to his son. This is the same as “yielding 

yourself to God.” You let Him control. 

Remember, the filling of the Spirit is simply letting the Lord control your life. You get it 

through a yielded life. 

The third step is asking. If you want God's power, you must ask for it. Jesus spoke the 

parable of the pleading neighbor who came at night when his friend was in bed. Jesus commands 

us to "Ask and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto

you" (Luke 11:9). Then Jesus explains the thing we should pray for, "How much more shall your 

heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?" (Luke 11: 13). 

If you are defeated, ask God to give you victory. If you have never won a soul to Christ, 

ask God to fill you with the Spirit so you can serve Him with power. 

Some go forward during the invitational hymn. They yield at the altar and ask God to fill 

them with the Holy Spirit. Another might bow his head as he studies his Sunday School lesson 

and pray, "God, fill me with the Holy Spirit so I can teach this lesson as you would teach it." 

Still, another Christian might kneel beside his bed during devotions and ask for power to 

overcome an explosive temper. 

There are different circumstances in the filling of the Holy Spirit, but the only power is in 

His Person. There are different methods in seeking the Holy Spirit, but one pattern given in 

Scripture to get it. Don't seek the experience, ask for the Person of the Holy Spirit and God will 

answer your prayer.

Chapter 10 

BECOMING FAITHFUL 

One of the greatest abilities in life is stickability. The Bible teaches that stickability is 

faithfulness. It is "required in stewards that a man be found faithful" (I Cor. 4:2). Faithfulness is 

obeying Jesus Christ. 

A conductor began his new appointment to an orchestra, "I'd rather have 10 members of 

an orchestra who were faithful than have an 100-piece orchestra that I couldn't depend on." 

Following this theme, a minister announced he would rather have a church of 200 people who 

were faithful in soulwinning and prayer, than a church with 1800 members in which only a 

handful showed up for prayer meeting. 

Faithful Christians get a crown. Martyrs, faithful unto death, were given the crown of life 

(Rev. 2:10). When the sword was pointed in their direction, they did not deny Jesus Christ. 

Perhaps they were told to stop witnessing in the name of Jesus Christ, but continued. The 

Scripture doesn't tell us how many souls they won; it tells us they were faithful to death. 

Many Christians think they cannot serve God. They look at their talents and feel they 

have so little ability to serve Him. A minister once said, "You may not be much, but you can be 

faithful." The greatest need in the church today is people who are faithful - faithful in living, 

service, prayer and tithing. 

A bus worker at Thomas Road Baptist Church, Lynchburg, Virginia, had very little 

education; as a matter of fact, he slaughtered the Queen's English. Every Saturday morning, he 

faithfully went out with an old-fashioned tie, a salt-and-pepper suit and scuffed shoes. Rotten 

teeth showed from his ever-present smile, and he had difficulty talking. When asked how he 

brought in over 100 people on his bus, the worker replied, "When I can't think of nuttin' to say, I 

jist quotes de Bible." He was faithful to his ability. 

God uses the thermometer of faithfulness to test the temperature of our love. 

You don't accumulate faithfulness like saving money to spend on a vacation. Faithfulness 

is not what you get as a result of being good. Faithfulness is what you are. We cannot prepare to 

be faithful, nor can we educate ourselves into faithfulness. 

Your basic question to ask is, "How can I become faithful?" Becoming faithful starts with 

new motivation. It can't be worked up - Christ makes you faithful. When He naturally lives His 

life through you, you are becoming faithful. 

Faithfulness is the by-product of duty. A Christian does not worship faithfulness; he 

makes Christ the center of his life and that makes him happy. The same truth is found in the 

businessman who said, "I never set out to make money; I determined to build a good business 

and just happened to make money." 

The following points will carry you on the road of duty, hence making you faithful.

1. Faithfulness begins to grow when you follow the clear command of Scripture. 

Some things ought to be first because God said so. "Seek ye fist the kingdom of God and his 

righteousness" (Matt. 6:33). If you want to be happy, you must seek or pursue the things of the 

kingdom of God. This is seeking God's righteousness -for your life. When you come to the 

place where you can say, "I want God in my life more than I want anything else in the world," 

you have made the right decision. 

2. Faithfulness grows when you have an honest appraisal of yourself. An 

enthusiastic ministerial candidate once said, "I'm a streamlined train going 75 miles per hour." A 

wise grandmother heard the boast and thought otherwise. "Be careful, your boiler may blow up," 

she warned the young man after the meeting. "I've been living the Christian life for over 40 years 

and it's tough." 

Within the human heart are two natures. The old nature seeks after selfish desires; the 

new nature seeks after the things of God. Recognize that these natures wrestle in your heart. 

You are the referee; make sure you call a clean bout. If you are going to grow in faithfulness, 

your good nature will have to win daily. Jesus said, "Ye cannot serve God and mammon" (Luke 

16:13). He recognized that people would wrestle with their priorities, whether it would be 

money or Him. You can have only one master. 

To grow in faithfulness you must become like God because, "Faithful is he that calleth 

you" (I Thess. 5:24). God will keep His word, He is faithful. If we could be steady as He, we'd 

be faithful. But we waiver and seek God only when it is convenient. "If there's a God, I wonder 

if He's happy being a fad rather than what the Bible plays Him up to be," noted Harry Reasoner 

on television in January 1972. 

"I am so ashamed I'm not more like Jesus," a Christian once confessed. He had a healthy 

view of his spirituality. He concluded his remarks, "It would thrill me if someone thought I was 

Jesus." 

When you are wise, you know how to put priority on the correct things. "I enjoy getting 

my shoes shined," a businessman once said, "It's not the most important thing in life. It's a small 

thing, but I like to look neat." He placed things in their proper perspective. You don't put 

diamonds on your shoes, you put them on your fingers. Neither do we place diamonds among 

rhinestones. Everything has its setting. Golf, dating and driving a new car have their place, but 

driving a new car to the sacrifice of an education is a mistake. You must know yourself, and 

faithfulness begins when you are yourself. 

3. Faithfulness is personified in your determination. Faithfulness is doing your duty 

because it should be done. Antipas is buried in the Christian "Tomb of the Unknown Soldier" 

because he was faithful. Nothing else is known about him. We don't know if Antipas was a 

preacher, evangelist, or church janitor. We don't know if he was a new Christian or had lived a 

long, faithful life. All we know is the Scriptures say, "Antipas was my faithful martyr" (Rev. 

2:13). Because Antipas was faithful, he was killed. A minister once said, "Out of all of the 

martyrs God knows (and God knows them all), He wanted to include Antipas because he was 

killed for his faithfulness.”

Faithfulness is doing what needs to be done. If an announcement was made from the 

pulpit that the church lawn needed mowing, the faithful man would do it. 

Recently, a pastor phoned one of his deacons at 1:00 A.M. to make a hospital call with 

him. When asked why the pastor called him, he said, "Because I knew I could count on you." He 

was faithful. 

When the Bible gives a standard for choosing a deacon, it indicates their wives must be 

"faithful in all things" (I Tim. 3:11). Before a man can be a deacon, his wife must attend Sunday 

School, church and evening service. She must be there on Wednesday night, at visitation and go 

on visitation. She must read her Bible, pray and live a godly life. She must be "faithful in all 

things." 

Faithfulness is a mental attitude that you will never give up. The French Foreign Legion 

are supposed to have said: 

"If I falter in battle, push me forward. 

If I stumble in battle, pick me up. 

If I faint in battle, revive me. 

If I retreat from battle, shoot me." 

A county boy was hired to work on the railroad. He was told, "Take this steel pole and go 

by and hit each wheel on every train that comes into the station." He was looking for trouble 

spots. For 37 years, he took his pole and hit every wheel of every train that came into the yard. 

When he was retiring they asked if he knew what he was doing. 

"No, sir, " he responded. 

Asked why he did what he did not understand, he replied, "I don't know why I did it, I just 

did what they told me." 

While we might not admire his intelligence, we can applaud his faithfulness. 

You might question why God allows some of His people to go through hard times. 

Sometimes God is testing their faith to make it grow. Other times He is trying to find out if any 

is there. 

A farmer had trouble with tourists stealing sweet apples near the road. Even warning 

signs couldn't keep them out of his orchard. Finally, he planted sour apples next to the road and 

the sweet ones were left alone. The sweet life is in the center of God's will. When you first start 

living for Christ, there'll be a few sour apples, but it's worth it to keep going. 

4. Faithfulness must add wisdom to determination. Bullheaded determination will 

not make you faithful. The man who butts his head against the wall usually gets bloody. You are

faithful when you do the proper thing for the proper reason. If you have failed many times, this 

does not mean you cannot become faithful. Everyone has failed in some things. Don't let your 

defeats discourage you, even though no one learns as much from success as from failure. 

Edison was once asked, "Why didn't you quit after 780 failures?" 

"I've not failed 780 times, but learned 780 things that don't work in a light bulb." You 

can't stop a spirit that won't quit. 

Faithfulness is not always just hardheaded determination John Wesley met an agnostic on 

a narrow footbridge. He glowered at Wesley. "I never step aside for a fool." 

"I always do," answered Wesley. He was faithful to God, yet wise enough not to get 

involved in a needless fight. 

Jesus was faithful. The Bible says, "He went about doing good" (Acts 10:38). He 

seemed to be always knowledgeable of what He was doing. Jesus seemed to be in perfect control 

of circumstances because He was in perfect control of Himself. 

The young man who finishes college has been faithful. He told the world, "I feel my 

education is more important than a nice car." 

There is nothing wrong with competitive sports, but when placed ahead of soul-winning, 

prayer and Bible study, sports are wrong. The man of God must learn to push pleasure down on 

his priority list. When Sunday afternoon football squeezes out Christian service, it's 

questionable. You must take an active grip on your sports program and push it down on the 

priority list. 

"Doing things you don't desire will build character," said Bob Jones. A young person 

heard him and said, "I do things each day I don't want to: get up and go to bed. " 

Every choice you make molds your future. Past choices have already affected you and 

present choices will affect your children. Sir Walter Raleigh owed $600,000 at age 55, but made 

a determination to pay it off before he died. He did. 

Conclusion 

Solomon says, "A faithful man, who can find?" (Prov. 20:6). In a day when men change 

with the blowing wind and chase every dog that barks, it is hard to find a man who is faithful to 

God. But those who are faithful to God have His blessing. "A faithful man shall abound with 

blessings" (Prov. 28:20). To get the anointing of God upon our lives, we don't have to be flashy 

or sensational . . . just faithful. 

There was a wedding in Cana of Galilee. No one remembers the bride, what she wore, or 

who attended the ceremony. Yet, Christ's presence made it the best-known ceremony in all 

eternity. Just as Christ's presence immortalized the wedding in Cana, so His indwelling will 

make you faithful. People will forget what Sunday School class you taught and the size of your 

paycheck, but your faithfulness can live forever.

There were many dusty bushes in the Sinai desert. Today no one cares about them, but 

we remember the flaming bush where God spoke to Moses. God's presence immortalized one 

dry bush so that every kid in Sunday School knows about the burning bush. When God indwells 

our lives, we stand apart from humanity. 

Faithfulness is not only worshipping Christ. It involves the active life. Moses communed 

with God in the burning bush, but that was not enough. If he had simply enjoyed the presence of 

God, God's people would have perished in bondage. Faithfulness was putting his shoes on and 

going to Egypt.

Chapter 11 

LEARNING TO LOVE 

When you become a Christian you enter God's family. You are now His child. One of 

your greatest tasks will be to learn how to love. Love is the nature of God and you must love, to 

be like Him. Love is the basic rule of the church and you must love others to be Christian. 

In an earthly family, a child recognizes love before he knows the word or understands its 

definition. Now in God's family as a new Christian, you know God loves you. "For God so 

loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son" (Jn. 3:16). 

A baby can feel the protective love of his parent. He naturally loves those who love him. 

Here a lifelong relationship grows between parent and child. Eventually he will say, "I love you, 

Mommy." You want to learn how to love God and to love others. 

The following principles will point you toward love but will never produce love. In the 

same way, a book on loving your wife will not make you love her but will help you analyze your 

relationship. You express love by holding hands, kissing and sending love notes. In the identical 

pattern you learn to love God by meditating, praying, reading the Scriptures and doing what He 

desires. 

1. You grow by studying "love" in the Scriptures. Take a concordance and look up 

every reference to the word love. Jesus commands, "A new commandment I give unto you, that 

ye love one another; as I have loved you" (Jn. 13:34). Later He reaffirms this statement, "This is 

my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you" (Jn. 15:12). You should love 

other Christians for many reasons, least of all because God motivates you to love others. "Ye 

yourselves are taught of God to love one another: (I Thess. 4:9). The ultimate indication that you 

are a Christian is your love. "We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we 

love the brethren" (I Jn. 2:14). 

2. You will spend a lifetime studying the nature of love. Love is an experience; you 

can't put it in a test tube and analyze it. Like quicksilver, as soon as you think you corral it, love 

escapes. Maybe the problem is with our definition of love. We place emphasis on the result we 

seek, rather than on the conditions that bring about the results. We think that love is feelings. 

But love is deeper than feelings. In reality, your feelings express the love that's in your heart. 

You can't love the children in your church as you can love your own. Love is measured by our 

hearts, not our feelings. Ever see a wife get mad at her husband that she loves? Her feelings 

betray her love. The ultimate test of love is not the feelings of our heart but the deeds of our 

lives. 

When God wanted to love you, he went beyond the deep feelings of His heart, He died for 

you. When you love your kids, you go beyond the feelings of your heart, you work, teach and 

sacrifice for them. 

Jesus said, "Love your enemies." Loving your enemies is more than having the right 

feeling in your heart. You must do the right thing toward them. Jesus taught us how to love our

enemies. On the cross He uttered, "Father, forgive them." Jesus looked into the faces of those 

who had spit on Him and crowned Him with thorns. He saw those who had slapped Him in the 

face, scourged Him and made Him carry the cross to Golgotha. Still He said, "Forgive them." 

That's love. 

Love is not getting, it's giving. Love is giving your life to the one you love. Jesus said, 

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (Jn. 15:13). 

This means that when you give yourself, you are loving the other person'. John told us how to 

understand love: "Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: we 

ought to lay down our lives for the brethren" (I Jn. 3:16). Love is hard to do because it means 

we give ourselves to the one we love. No one likes to give himself away. 

When a young man and woman get married, they pledge their love to each other. They 

give themselves to each other. This is hard to do, but this is love. 

Today's young people think that love is easy, because they think that love is getting. 

They're wrong. Lust is getting, but love is giving, which is the hardest act to do. You can give 

without loving, but you can't love without giving. When you love you have to change things 

about yourself for the other person. At the same time, the one you love will change himself or 

herself for you. If you love God, you will change for Him (Rom. 12:1, 2). 

3. You learn to love by understanding its demands. Love is not tootsie rolls and 

cotton candy; Love is a relationship of giving. You give up your rights and your selfish 

pleasures. You accept others, even the ones you don't like. 

"But I'm only human," you complain. "It's hard to love my boss." 

Don't make excuses for your bitterness and hatred. It is hard to love some people. With 

other people, love comes easy. Then there are times you have to work at it. But it is never right 

for a Christian to be bitter. 

Christians ought to be different and better. Because you live by Christ's standard, you 

should be different; because you have Christ in your hearts, you should be better. As a Christian, 

you should be characterized by love. 

At a village in India, a little girl was asked, "What is a Christian?" Her answer was 

simple. "Christians are people who are different." 

No people are more alike than Christians. Is it their love that draws them together? 

When a born-again believer walks into a crowd, he can usually spot another Christian. As 

ministers travel from church to church, they meet new people and make friends. A traveling 

Bible teacher once remarked that when he was picked up at the airport, just getting in the car 

with a believer he had never met, they became friends. He noted, "We strike up an immediate 

friendship as though we've known each other all of our lives. Yet there are unsaved people in my 

city that I know, and we have little to talk about." A deep love for Jesus Christ makes the 

difference. Because He is in both hearts, Christ gives a mutual love one to the other.

The early Christians manifested love. Sometimes it is easier to see a Christian's love over 

nineteen centuries than it is to look across the street. That's because we see better at a far 

distance. Josephus who lived among the early Christians said, "Oh, how they love each other." 

William B. Riley pastored First Baptist Church of Minneapolis for 47 years. Toward the 

end of his ministry, he sat on a chair on the platform to preach. Once he wept before beginning 

his sermon, then stated, "I know I have passed from death unto life because I love you brethren.” 

He could not forget 47 years of tears, struggle and victories. 

But there are times that Christians should hate. You should never hate people, but the 

sins of people. Yet, it is difficult to hate sin without hating the sinner. To put it another way, it 

is difficult to hate evolution that denies the Bible without hating the evolutionist. Yet love 

teaches you how to draw the line. A mother shows us how to stay on one side of the line. She 

spanks her little boy for his naughty act, yet kisses away his tears. 

4. You need to forget the "false dreams" of love. The American ideal is for the boy to 

get the girl and they live happily ever after. Love is portrayed as a lifelong Disney World. But 

that's not the truth. Love is cleaning dirty diapers because life is that way. You do for the baby 

what he can't do for himself because you love him. 

A mother misunderstood God's love. Her son died of cancer. She complained that God 

was mean. "Where was God when my son died?" she cried. 

"Right where He was when His Son died," the wise pastor answered, "sitting on His 

throne." 

God loves everyone. We don't understand why He took the young boy with cancer. We 

can't explain why God left the woman lonely. But God sits on His throne and knows "that all 

things work together for good to them that love God" (Rom. 8:28). 

A "false dream" expects love to be strawberry shortcake. Love does not expect an easy 

life. Early disciples expected a hard life, not an easy one. When they followed Jesus, they had 

no idea what the cost would be. He had told them to leave father and mother; as a matter of fact, 

He said to leave all. Their love led them to endure many trials. But a God of love does not allow 

us to sidestep hardships. He is more concerned with our character than our comfort. The Bible 

teaches that persecution brings about character. "Tribulation worketh patience." We don't have 

men of Job's character because we don't have men afflicted as Job. God still uses the spade of 

sorrow to dig the well of joy. 

There is a seeming indifference on God's part to the ease of His followers, whereas there 

is a consuming drive for relaxation and recreation by those who follow Him today. The Bible 

describes God's hall of fame: "Others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover 

of bonds and imprisonment: They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were 

slain with the sword; they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, 

tormented ... they wandered in deserts, and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth" 

(Heb. 11:36-38). Can we say that God didn't love them because their path was hard? No!

There were two thieves on the cross, both enduring the same suffering, both staring death 

in the face. The unsaved thief wanted deliverance from where he was, the repentant thief wanted 

deliverance from what he was. The unsaved thief cried out, "Save thyself and us." The repentant 

thief cried out, "Remember me when thou cometh into thy kingdom. " May God give you the 

desire to be delivered from what you are, rather than praying for ease of life. 

As Jesus approached His last night, the Bible says, "Having loved his own which were in 

the world he loved them to the end" (Jn. 13:1). When He prayed for His followers, He 

specifically requested, "I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou 

shouldest keep them from evil" (Jn. 17:15). Because Jesus knew all things, He knew they slept 

while He interceded alone. Yet he loved them and prayed for their protection. Perhaps the 

greatest expression of love, apart from Calvary, was this prayer: "Let them be in the world but 

keep them from falling." 

In prison, Paul didn't pray for relief. He didn't even pray for an easy time in jail. His 

prayer was "For utterance that I may preach the gospel." 

The early Christians, who had the hardest times, also had the best times. They were so 

anointed with the Spirit that on the Day of Pentecost their accusers said they were drunk. They 

lived in the best of times because they were filled with the Holy Spirit and joy. If they were 

drunk, they stayed that way through the book of Acts. They outlived and outlaughed their 

enemies. And the disciples' love won their enemies to Christ (Acts 6:7). 

In the early days of the Salvation Army, a little boy asked, "Who are those funny-looking 

people who march up and down the street singing, 'Oh, how I love Jesus?' " 

"Those are people who love Jesus," the mother responded. The little boy never forgot 

that love for Jesus must show in life, and Charles Sonfeldt spent 55 years in one church loving 

his people.

Chapter Twelve 

HAVING HOPE 

The three greatest qualities in anyone's life are faith, hope and love. You get faith from 

the Bible and love by giving, but what about hope? Everyone wants better conditions: a better 

job . . . a better car . . . a better house. We live with "hope" that things will get better. Is that 

biblical hope? 

God puts "hope" in your heart when you are saved. You exercise this hope by exercising 

faith. "Faith is the substance of things hoped for " (Heb. 11:1). Hope is the medicine that cures 

depression and the patience to get us through a rough week. 

A salesman waited in the lobby to see a client and worried. The threat of failure plagued 

him, taking the edge off a good presentation of his product. He had the wrong kind of hope. 

A mother saw her small boy walk out on the stage of a kindergarten rehearsal. She 

expected the worst. Fear of humiliation prompted her to snarl a handkerchief in her lap. She 

frowns, when her son needs all the support he can get. The hope of the world is Jesus. The 

world needs hope. The struggling boy needs inner assurance he can get through college, he needs 

hope. A quarreling couple need assurance they can live together. Hope can prevent a divorce. 

A wife living with a drunken husband needs strength to endure the trials. She lives in 

hope that things will get better. A bankrupt family can face the future with hope. 

The happiest places in town are usually the wedding and the maternity ward - because 

there is hope. The church should be equally happy. 

An artist drew a dreary picture of a rundown shack. The sun was setting and darkness 

approached. The artist communicated loneliness, but the picture hung in the studio unsold. 

"Why won't it sell?" he asked a friend. 

"No one wants to be hopeless and lonely," the friend told him. "Everyone's looking for 

happiness and hope." 

The artist took his yellow paint and dabbed the window. Suddenly there was a light in 

the house that seemed to say, "Welcome home." He sold many copies of the painting to people 

looking for a little light in their life. 

1. You should have hope because you will go to heaven when you die. Christ came 

into your heart when you were saved. The difference between a Christian and a lost person is not 

only his destination (heaven) or the fact that his sins are forgiven; the great difference is that 

Christ is in his heart. 

Have you ever noticed how hope makes time pass quickly? A job does not seem dreary 

to the man who looks forward to his weekend nor to the woman who looks forward to

advancement. But those who are locked into a position with no chance of promotion get 

discouraged. The hours drag. There is no hope. 

The Christian is not concerned with "How long can I live?" His concern is "How well can 

I live?" Hope makes the difference. The more hope you have, the more indifferent you become 

to problems here below. 

Jesus promised that He was preparing a place for us in heaven—that's hope—and that He 

would come back to get us when we die—that's hope abundant. "Let not your heart be troubled: . 

. . I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and 

receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also" (Jn. 14:1-3). The martyr 

testified, "I'd rather live short and die right than live long and die wrong." 

2. You can hope because of Christ's presence in your heart. Jesus challenged His 

disciples to "Abide in me and I in you" (Jn. 15:4). The presence of Christ in your heart can help 

you to overcome anything. That makes life worth living. But more than His power in your heart, 

you must place yourself in Him. Jesus challenged that we should abide in Him (Jn. 15:1-8). 

That means reading His Word, fellowshipping with Him in prayer and obeying His 

commandments. 

Constant fellowship with Jesus Christ is the normal Christian life. We have lived 

subnormal lives so long that mediocrity is normal. A man walking out of a smoke-fired night 

club asked, "What's that I smell?" His friend replied, "Fresh air." He had become accustomed to 

pollution and he was surprised by God's provision. In the same way, many Christians are 

shocked to find that Christ can give them victory over sin. 

You have a desire to succeed no matter what your definition of success is. Aim high, stir 

up your hope and expect the best. It costs no more to shoot at eagles than skunks. 

God wants His children to be successful. He told Joshua, "Be strong and of a good 

courage: For unto this people shalt thou divide for an inheritance the land" (Josh. 1:6). The Lord 

tied spiritual hope to subduing their enemies. “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy 

mouth, but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to 

all that is written therein; for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have 

good success" (Josh. 1:8). God has no enjoyment when you fail or quit. He rejoices with every 

success. Hope is enjoying the victory you will receive, worry is self-defeating; it usually 

guarantees the exact thing you worry about. 

A sixty-seven-year-old timekeeper at an assembly plant was so concerned that he would 

be replaced by a younger man that his worry gave him an ulcer. When the foreman came by, he 

childishly pampered the foreman, not getting himself job security but only irritating the boss. 

Another elderly employee had such hope in Christ that he expected momentarily the 

second coming. Since the Bible exhorts to be ready for the coming of Christ, he did the best job 

possible. The company "bent its rules" so he wouldn't have to retire.

3. You should have hope because "all things work together for good." 

Discouragement is nothing more than the collapse of a Christian's hope. "Things can't improve, " 

a woman says. She fears the future just like the man who maintains " Things are gonna get 

worse." 

The Bible teaches, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love 

God" (Rom. 8:28). God has His hand on the controls. You might not like everything that 

happens to you but "God is never caught by surprise." 

When you know the Scriptures, you will live daily with the anticipation of God's working 

in your life. "Whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we, 

through patience and comfort of the scriptures, might have hope" (Rom. 15:4). The total 

message of Scripture produces optimistic living. You have a bright future with each day's 

dawning. Even when circumstances do not get better, God's grace is sufficient for every need. 

When your life is in His hand, there are no emergencies that He can't cope with. 

When you apply the Scriptures to your life, you build hope. One friend asked another, 

"What Bible translation do you like best?" 

"I like my mother's translation best," he answered. 

"Did she translate the Bible?" the stunned friend asked in amazement. 

"She's been translating it into everyday life for fifty-three years." 

When you fear, you cancel out the blessings of hope. A young mother had been called a 

"fussbudget." When her kids went out in the rain, she worried that they would get a cold. On a 

beautiful sunny day, she worried that warm weather would bring out snakes, so she kept her 

children inside. As they played in the den, she worried about their climbing and falling. Her 

habit of worrying put her in bondage to fear. She cancelled the delivery order of peace that God 

has promised, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee" (Isa. 26:3). 

Perhaps you are going through tribulation now. It is necessary for everyone to go through 

the waters of sacrifice at some time. It mellows-us and makes us depend on Him. Under the 

tribulation, we learn to hope in God. "But if we hope for that which we see not, then do we with 

patience wait for it" (Rom. 8:25). 

Hope is the down payment of the future. The cripple has hope that one day he will no 

longer need his crutches and the blind knows he will see. Beyond death, they will no longer 

struggle. "Tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope" (Rom. 

5:3-4). 

4. You should have hope because Christ is coming for you. A little girl went to her 

mother with a ribbon. "Fix my hair." 

"You usually don't like me to fix your hair," the mother said out of perplexity, although 

she had tried to teach her daughter to look pretty for others.

"My Sunday School teacher said Jesus can come at any time and I want to be ready for 

him," the little girl smiled. 

The Bible teaches that we should live, "looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious 

appearing of the great God and our Savior, Jesus Christ" (Titus 2:13). Hope that Christ is 

coming for you will help you get through any problem. 

Hope is manufactured out of a realization that God sits on the throne. "And we know that 

all things work together for good to them that love God" (Rom. 8:28). A middle-aged man drags 

a steel brace around on his leg because he had polio as a boy. He could have been bitter because 

he had never played sports. But he accepted everything from God. Each week he anticipates 

God's work in his life. He knows that one day he shall walk without crutches and a brace and his 

struggle with pain will be over. Hope conquers all.

Second Friend Day - Elmer Towns

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