F AB / J AN-FEB-MAR 2005 - fabrica

for any
person,
any age.
FREE TRIAL
PERIOD
THEY WITNESS FOR YOU
I left my ROBOTON in the closet. I thought that would keep
him in better condition, like my tweed jacket, away from
dust and all. Instead he ran out of air. I miss my ROBOTON.
My marriage was perfect. We had an
ideal family. Billy and Sandy did well
in school. But in the past few years
Herbert hadnʼt been…. ummm.… up
to standards…. you know…. at night.
Since we bought our ROBOTON with his
multifunctional 5 speed vibrator, my
life has been much better. Our family
is perfect again. Everyone should
have a ROBOTON.
ROBOTON helps us all the time. He
has made my life much easier. Now I
donʼt have to get up in the morning
to put out the rubbish and take the
kids to school. ROBOTON does it with
absolute efficiency. Apart from that
one time when he put little Mary into
the trash can and a bag of debris in a
5th grade classroom.
One time I was out in the forest with
my ROBOTON. Suddenly I heard a
rustle in the foliage. Then, out of
nowhere, the fiercest squirrel you ever
did see jumped out of a shrub. Fangs
shinning and claws at the ready.
ROBOTON zapped him with his lasers
just in time. I couldʼve been killed had it
not been for my trusty ROBOTON.
bleach based
products could
activate Masacre
Mode
unhautorized
intercourse may
result in penal
injury
beating roboton
could land you
a 60 year jail
sentence
do not feed
the ROBOTON,
he'll steal
from your fridge
AN IDEAL LIFESTYLE IS POSSIBLE !
The ROBOTON, designed by Family Values Inc. is a tool and a companion that will make your life perfect.
An Ideal lifestyle is achieved only through relaxation, serenity and order. It is the perfect tool to help you
with your day to day chores such as throwing out the garbage, cleaning the dishes, or spanking you wife.
You come home tired and donʼt want to start working again? Sure, you have a wife and children.
In the old days a good beating would have everything fixed in a jiffy, a smile on their faces and an ideal
poster family at the ready. But nowadays women work, and children have rights.
So what are you to do? Jump off a cliff? No. Invest! Invest in a ROBOTON, the latest product by Family
Values Inc. which allows you to have a healthy, prosperous Christian way of living, without getting your
hands dirty. ROBOTON is reliable, sturdy and will never let you down. Made from long-lasting stainless
steel, its energy pack charges with oxygen. Once you have bought the ROBOTON you will never have
to worry about it again. The ROBOTON has a sensor which activates with sound. Whilst he is not working
he recharges. He is easy to build and comes with a full set of instructions.
EASY TO BUILD
NO
TOOLS
REQUIRED
LESS
THAN
10 HOURS
1 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- rectumonic tuboton
2 --------------------------------------------------------------- fluorescent emergency light
3 --------------------------------------- Impecable Clean (TM) ultra modern device
4 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 28 speed 20 cm dildo
5 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ extendable grip device
6 ----------------------------------------------------------- west coast 360° rotating grip
7 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- wodden plank
8 ------------------------------------------------------------ east coast 360° rotating grip
9 -------------------- hot air hair styler (curly, straight and white-boy afro)
10 --------------------------------------------------------------------- movable left extremity
11 ------------------------------------------------------------------- movable right extremity
WATCH OUT FOR THE SPIT!
Just like every other inanimate object,
ROBOTON has emotions. These can be
seen by the colour range of his dribble :
hungry
happy
angry
sexually excited
At times ROBOTON may act slightly strange and possibly
murderous. If you feel that his attitude is harsher than your
mother in law's, dont't hesitate to lock yourself and your
family in a small closet. In a mere 16 hours ROBOTON should be back to
his jolly self. If not wait a little more.
THOUSANDS OF INTERCHANGEABLE FUNCTIONS!
add the tuboton to
robotons panel
insert the roboject
into the applier
WRITE TODAY FOR A FREE TRIAL PERIOD
TO : FAMILY VALUES INC.
He also has a capacity memorandum stick which enables him to learn from your commands.
At Family Values we make products which will make your life better. Not only better but ideal.
I myself have a family, and know how hard it is for decent hard working citizens, to rise up and
live a healthy prosperous life, when all the scum that roams the world is at large.
ROBOTON not only serves you and your family, making the atmosphere at home optimum for an
ideal way of life, it also protects you and your loved ones, so that no foul mouth marijuana addict
can rape your daughter and eat your dog. As General Manager of Family Values Inc., as a proud
husband and father, and as a decent citizen I can assure you, this country needs Family Values,
this country needs ROBOTON.
Yours truly,
Frank Bollocks
insert the applier
in the tuboton
CATENA DI VILLORBA
VIA FERRAREZZA
choose the roboject
desired
press until you hear a click
ORDER THE ROBOJECT YOU WANT:
You're not satisfied with the objects on offer? Think you have a better proposal? We doubt it
you smartass, but if you want send us an e-mail about it and we'll get back to you in 2 years.
A – original ghetto blaster
B – authentic rusty shaver
C – smelly sneakers
D – pipe for lonely evening
E – brush (furnished)
F – hair dryer (furnished)
G – wrench, ideal for any robbery
H – accordeon
I – original bic pen, for your cross words
J – saw
K – empty fridge
L – pencil/penis sharpener
M – plug
O – empty yoghurt
P – old lawnmower man
Q – motorcycle
R – bench
S – magic trevisian supa weed joint
T – noisy fucking dog
visit our website to get complete list :
www.theoriginalrobotonthemovie.be
31050 ITALY
+39 0422 516 293
AND
MANY
MORE
PLEASE SEND ME A ROBOTON FOR A FREE HOUR TRIAL
name : __________________________________________________________
adress : __________________________________________________________
city : __________ state : _________________ zip : _________________________
sexual preference (heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, zoophile, necrophile) : ____________________
skin color : _________________________________________________________
text by andy sinboy, image by francois prost