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Theosis 06 June Issue 2019

Theosis-Transformation is a monthly online magazine focused on Bible, Psychology and Spirituality.

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Nº1 - JUNE <strong>2019</strong><br />

theosismagazine@gmail.com<br />

THEOSIS<br />

T R A N S F O R M A T I O N<br />

Where Your Journey Becomes Deeper<br />

FORGIVENESS:<br />

Your Path to Freedom and Well-being<br />

Online Monthly Magazne onBible, Psychology, and Spirituality<br />

Human Flourishing<br />

and Well-being<br />

in the Bible (Old Testament)<br />

Why Does Forgiveness Matter?<br />

The Personal andCollective Value<br />

of Forgiveness<br />

Deconstructing<br />

and Defining<br />

Forgiveness<br />

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About <strong>Theosis</strong><br />

Transformation<br />

<strong>Theosis</strong> — Transformation is an educational<br />

resource focused on the dialogue<br />

between the Bible (Old and New<br />

Testament), Spirituality, and Psychology.<br />

Its goal is to gather high quality<br />

resources from the Internet in a single<br />

repository within its pages and to<br />

make them available to its readers. In<br />

so doing, <strong>Theosis</strong> seeks to encourage<br />

an integral form of Christ-Centered<br />

spirituality within the Catholic faith<br />

tradition; promote a holistic approach<br />

toward human beings and creation;<br />

and, foster growth in faith in Jesus the<br />

Christ. Such spirituality, far from being<br />

disconnected from our daily lives,<br />

and through the prompts of the Holy<br />

Spirit that we have received from the<br />

Father and that dwells in us (Romans<br />

8:9) can actually sustain our process<br />

of transformation into the image and<br />

likeness of the Son, Jesus the Christ,<br />

whose life, death and resurrection are<br />

meant to give us fullness of life and reveal<br />

the essence of our journey toward<br />

well-being: “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).<br />

As such, <strong>Theosis</strong> — Transformation endorses only the content of the article/video/podcast to<br />

which it directly links. Any other links or embedded material within such content or external<br />

to the content of the article/video/podcast itself and/or that may lead to other websites, online<br />

platforms, pop-up windows, online ads or banners and/or anything else that is not directly the<br />

content to which <strong>Theosis</strong> — Transformation directly links are not approved of, recommended,<br />

or endorsed in any way by the magazine.


theosismagazine@gmail.com<br />

There is a nobility in compassion<br />

a beauty in empathy,<br />

a grace in FORGIVENESS<br />

— John Connolly —<br />

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If we really<br />

want to love,<br />

we must learn<br />

how to forgive.<br />

MOTHER THERESA<br />

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TABLE OF CONTENTS<br />

02<br />

08<br />

10<br />

19<br />

24<br />

25<br />

27<br />

30<br />

INTRODUCTION<br />

About <strong>Theosis</strong> — Transformation.<br />

CHOICE OF THE MONTH<br />

Our Four Featured Articles.<br />

BIBLE<br />

Human Flourishing & Well-being in the Bible. Part 1 - The Old<br />

Testament.<br />

BIBLE<br />

Jesus, Peter & Forgiveness: A Gospel-centered Perspective.<br />

PSYCHOLOGY & SPIRITUALITY<br />

How Forgiving Are You?.<br />

PSYCHOLOGY & SPIRITUALITY<br />

Why Does Forgiveness Matter? The Personal & Collective Value of<br />

Forgiveness.<br />

PSYCHOLOGY & SPIRITUALITY<br />

Which Two of the Following Is Forgiveness?<br />

PSYCHOLOGY & SPIRITUALITY<br />

Explanation for Non-Forgiveness Options.<br />

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32<br />

36<br />

37<br />

38<br />

40<br />

41<br />

42<br />

44<br />

PSYCHOLOGY & SPIRITUALITY<br />

Deconstructing and Defining Forgiveness.<br />

PSYCHOLOGY & SPIRITUALITY<br />

What Is Forgiveness?<br />

PSYCHOLOGY & SPIRITUALITY<br />

Forgiving: An Art & Process We Can Learn?<br />

PSYCHOLOGY AND SPIRITUALITY<br />

The Invisible Barriers to Forgiveness.<br />

PSYCHOLOGY & SPIRITUALITY<br />

Keys to Unlock Forgiveness<br />

PSYCHOLOGY & SPIRITUALITY<br />

The Key of All the Keys: Let It Go, Let It Be.<br />

PSYCHOLOGY & SPIRITUALITY<br />

Forgiveness: Is It Worth to Forgive?<br />

RESOURCES<br />

Featured Resources of the Month.<br />

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45<br />

46<br />

50<br />

52<br />

53<br />

RESOURCES<br />

Resource List of the Month.<br />

EVENTS<br />

Upcoming Events (Retreats, Seminars, Workshops).<br />

CONTACT US<br />

We’d love to hear from you.<br />

GETTING ORGANIZED<br />

Monthly Goals Template.<br />

GETTING ORGANIZED<br />

Monthly Planner.<br />

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Featured Articles<br />

ISSUE N o 1 — JUNE <strong>2019</strong><br />

<strong>Issue</strong> number 1 of <strong>Theosis</strong>—Transformation focuses on the topic of Forgiveness.<br />

Human Flourishing & Well-being<br />

in the Old Testament (Part 1)<br />

Biblical Spirituality<br />

What does the Bible have to say about human<br />

flourishing and well-being? In the first of a<br />

three-part article, Fr. Flavio Gillio, m.s. and<br />

Dr. Sally Riconscente explore the way the Old<br />

Testament speaks about human flourishing<br />

and well-being.<br />

Jesus, Peter and Forgiveness:<br />

A Gospel-centered Perspective<br />

Biblical Spirituality<br />

In Matthew 18:21-35 Peter approaches Jesus<br />

with the question: “Lord, how many times<br />

shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins<br />

against me? Up to seven times?” (v. 21). Jesus’<br />

answer offers challenging insights about forgiveness<br />

from a Gospel-centered perspective.<br />

Deconstructing and<br />

Defining Forgiveness<br />

Psychology & Spirituality<br />

When you hear the word “forgiveness,” or<br />

the verb “to forgive,” what comes to your<br />

mind? Find out the essential features of<br />

forgiveness and dismantle some prejudices<br />

that shape the “how” we understand and<br />

live forgiveness.<br />

Forgiving: An Art and Process<br />

We Can Learn?<br />

Psychology & Spirituality<br />

You do not have to succumb to your past hurts<br />

and anger. You can learn to practice forgiveness.<br />

Renowned author and director of the<br />

Stanford University Forgiveness Project, Dr.<br />

Fred Luskin, presents the nine main steps<br />

structuring the healing process of forgiveness.<br />

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Section # 1<br />

Bible<br />

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Human Flourishing & Well-being in the Bible<br />

Part 1 - The Old Testament<br />

Introduction. In our ongoing effort to make the La Salette Retreat and<br />

Conference Center a space where people of every walk of life, belief, and<br />

religious affiliation can integrate a mature spirituality into their own daily<br />

lives and experience life in abundance, we have created the new-born magazine,<br />

<strong>Theosis</strong> – Transformation. <strong>Theosis</strong> is the transliteration of a Greek word that<br />

means divinization. This concept is also known as the term, apotheosis, ‘making<br />

divine.’ <strong>Theosis</strong> implies, therefore, a transformative process whose aim, we<br />

believe, is to let Christ reach adulthood in us. Here at <strong>Theosis</strong> magazine, we<br />

believe that Jesus the Christ is the exemplar of human flourishing and well-being.<br />

The purpose of this trifold<br />

study is to inquire into how the<br />

Bible and the Early Christian<br />

Tradition speak about human<br />

flourishing and well-being.<br />

The first part of our study<br />

will be focused on the Old<br />

Testament; the second on<br />

the New Testament writings, and<br />

the third on the theological and<br />

spiritual concept of divinization<br />

elaborated on by some of the most<br />

influential Fathers of the Church.<br />

AUTHORS:<br />

Fr. Flavio Gillio, m.s.<br />

AND<br />

Dr. Sally Riconscente<br />

The concept of human<br />

flourishing and well-being is a pananthropological<br />

idea, i.e. one of<br />

those major concerns that is found<br />

in every culture, religious belief, and<br />

civilization. In the Western World,<br />

ever since the two great Greek<br />

philosophers Plato and Aristotle,<br />

human flourishing and well-being<br />

have been two of the major ideas<br />

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studied through the centuries. And<br />

it is easy to understand why: we<br />

have a natural unquenchable thirst<br />

and insatiable hunger for abundant<br />

life. Human flourishing and wellbeing<br />

are two powerful motivating<br />

forces and goals for everything<br />

we hope for, choose, and do, both<br />

individually and corporately,<br />

regardless of our belief, ethnicity,<br />

worldview, culture, and/or education.<br />

So, what does the Old Testament<br />

say about human flourishing and<br />

well-being? The first thing that stands<br />

out is the fact that the Old Testament<br />

doesn’t encompass in a single<br />

definition either human flourishing<br />

or well-being. Rather, it describes<br />

them through intentional and specific<br />

lexicographic choices, favoring three<br />

key-words: shalom, ashrê, and tamîm.<br />

Human flourishing, wellbeing,<br />

and the biblical<br />

shalom. The concept of shalom<br />

is one of the most prominent ideas of<br />

the Old Testament related to human<br />

flourishing and well-being. Indeed,<br />

65% of its occurrences are related to<br />

one of the two concepts or to both of<br />

them, whereas only 25% to a state/<br />

relationship without conflict, and only<br />

10% to the standard form of greeting.<br />

The Hebrew shalom is usually<br />

translated in English as ‘peace.’<br />

Such a rendering can fail to capture<br />

the semantic value and depth of<br />

the Hebrew term. In our every-day<br />

language, ‘peace’ usually connotes<br />

a situation that does not register<br />

conflict or tension, or an inner state<br />

of tranquility and serenity. The<br />

problem is that the same term in<br />

Hebrew bears a deeper and more<br />

involved meaning, conveying the idea<br />

of ‘completeness’ and ‘overall wellbeing.’<br />

I emphasize ‘overall’ because<br />

the Old Testament, when speaking of<br />

human flourishing and well-being,<br />

does not adopt a dichotomist view<br />

that clearly separates the spiritual and<br />

material, but rather, it addresses the<br />

question of our flourishing and wellbeing<br />

through a holistic approach<br />

that includes and values body,<br />

psyche, and spirit. The Old Testament<br />

doesn’t recognize the distinction<br />

of spiritual as opposed to material<br />

which is still very widespread in the<br />

West among Christians (Catholic).<br />

The semantic richness embedded in<br />

the concept of shalom is witnessed by<br />

the Greek Old Testament (Septuagint<br />

or LXX) that needs two words to<br />

translate the Hebrew term into<br />

Greek: teleios and eirênê. The former<br />

means ‘complete,’ ‘undivided,’<br />

‘whole,’ and ‘unblemished.’ It<br />

overlaps with another Hebrew word,<br />

tamim, that we will consider later on.<br />

The second Greek term, eirênê,<br />

like the Hebrew shalom, is generally<br />

rendered in English as ‘peace.’ Like<br />

shalom, eirênê means a lot more than<br />

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simply ‘absence of conflict,’ ‘tranquility,’ or ‘inner serenity.’ In the Greek<br />

version of the Old Testament, human flourishing and well-being are not<br />

identified with or limited to the absence of conflict, personal happiness, inner<br />

serenity, and/or tranquility. Rather, the way both the Hebrew and the Greek<br />

Old Testament make use of shalom/eirênê, allows us to infer that both human<br />

flourishing and well-being sprout forth from God’s saving work. For example,<br />

in the book of the Prophet Isaiah, shalom/eirênê are two distinctive key-words<br />

that describe Adonai’s redemptive action (see Isaiah 9:5-6; 32:15-20; 48:18; 52:7;<br />

60:1-22). In this light, shalom/eirênê blossoms thanks to the coming of a Son-<br />

King (Isaiah 5:6-9) and through the outpouring of the Spirit, whose effects also<br />

reverberate over creation (Isaiah 32:15-20; 48:18; 60:1-22). The climax of this<br />

dynamic is found in the New Testament, with and through Jesus the Christ.<br />

Jesus the Christ discloses to us the possibility of eternal human flourishing<br />

and well-being through His life, death and resurrection. The mystery of the<br />

Incarnation bears the unheard good news that, in Jesus of Nazareth, God makes<br />

himself totally present; as a consequence, in Jesus of Nazareth, the divine life<br />

enters the human realm and takes a human shape. In coherence with this<br />

point, the Catechism of the Catholic Church, quoting St. Athanasius’ work, On<br />

Incarnation, states: “The Word became flesh to make us “partakers of the divine<br />

nature” - “For this is why the Word became man, and the Son of God became<br />

the Son of man: so that man, by entering into communion with the Word and<br />

thus receiving divine sonship, might become a son of God.” “For the Son of<br />

God became man so that we might be deified.” “The only-begotten Son of God,<br />

wanting to make us sharers in his divinity, assumed our nature, so that he,<br />

made man, might make men gods” (see Catechism of the Catholic Church, § 460).<br />

Human flourishing, well-being and the biblical ashrê. The second term<br />

that the Old Testament relates to human flourishing and well-being is<br />

the Hebrew word ashrê. The term appears mostly in the third section of<br />

the Old Testament (Writings), with 26 occurrences in the Book of Psalms<br />

and 8 in the Book of Proverbs. Besides that, the other 11 occurrences are<br />

scattered among the other sections of the Bible (Pentateuch and Prophets).<br />

Modern English translations of the Hebrew Bible usually render ashrê<br />

with ‘blessed.’ Similar to the translation of the Hebrew shalom with ‘peace,’<br />

such a rendering creates a certain confusion because the Hebrew language<br />

knows another word for ‘blessed,’ i.e. baruk —euloghetos in Greek. Even<br />

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though both ashrê and baruk are<br />

rendered in English as ‘blessed,’ the<br />

two words are not synonyms. Indeed,<br />

the first one, ashrê, emphasizes<br />

the state of flourishing and wellbeing.<br />

This is clearly the case of<br />

Psalm 1, where the ‘ashrê’ person<br />

is described as “[…] a tree planted<br />

beside rivulets of water, which brings<br />

forth its fruit in its season, and its<br />

leaves do not wilt; and whatever<br />

he does prospers” (Psalm 1:3). The<br />

second term, baruk, emphasizes<br />

the fact of being the recipient of<br />

Adonai’s blessings and graces.<br />

Such a distinction is further<br />

strengthened by the remaining<br />

occurrences of ashrê in the Writings.<br />

Both the contexts and the ways the term<br />

is used let us infer that ashrê usually<br />

refers to the state of well-being and<br />

human flourishing that characterizes<br />

those who live wisely by listening to<br />

the Torah. Living wisely and listening<br />

to the Torah: two irreplaceable keys<br />

to human flourishing and wellbeing<br />

(see for example, Psalms 1<br />

and 118, the long acrostic hymn<br />

of praise in honor of the Torah).<br />

appears in the Prophet Isaiah<br />

(Isaiah 30:18; 32:20). Post-biblical<br />

and Rabbinic literature continue<br />

preserving this way of understanding<br />

the term ashrê. According to the<br />

Rabbis, a life marked by human<br />

flourishing and well-being is<br />

a life that is shaped, inspired,<br />

and guided by Adonai’s Torah.<br />

When, from the Old Testament, we<br />

turn to the New Testament, we witness<br />

great and clear coherence with the<br />

previous ashrê tradition. The Greek<br />

(both in the Septuagint and in the<br />

Gospels) renders the Hebrew ashrê<br />

with makarios. An exemplary passage<br />

from the New Testament is Matthew<br />

5:3-12, i.e. the Beatitudes. Jesus;<br />

here, while instructing and sharing<br />

His wisdom with the crowd, Jesus<br />

illustrates what God-centered human<br />

The book of Proverbs maintains<br />

the same belief, since both human<br />

flourishing and well-being are<br />

understood to be the fruits of living<br />

wisely, namely listening to the Torah<br />

and revering Adonai. Outside the<br />

Writings, the term ashrê mainly<br />

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flourishing and well-being look like, in continuity with the previous ashrê<br />

tradition witnessed by the Psalms, Proverbs, and the Prophet Isaiah. Besides<br />

this continuity, the New Testament also bears a novelty: accomplished human<br />

flourishing is found in and through Jesus the Christ. Such a statement makes<br />

human flourishing and well-being much more than simply an experiential<br />

satisfaction or a state of personal happiness. Human flourishing and wellbeing<br />

are less the result of a series of temporary favorable circumstances,<br />

and more a lifestyle inspired by Jesus the Christ’s life, death and resurrection.<br />

Human flourishing,<br />

well-being and<br />

the biblical tamim.<br />

The Hebrew word tamîm is the<br />

third relevant term associated<br />

with the concept of human<br />

flourishing and well-being. Its<br />

parallel in Greek is teleios. Among<br />

its different meanings, the Hebrew<br />

word also bears the meaning of<br />

‘righteous’ and ‘perfect’ in the sense<br />

of ‘singleness,’ ‘integrity of heart’ or<br />

‘wholeness of heart’ (see 1 Kings 9:4).<br />

Very interestingly, the Old<br />

Testament often connects tamîm<br />

with the idea of holiness. Such a<br />

connection reverberates through<br />

both concepts and enriches their<br />

meaning. Whereas we are often<br />

inclined to think about holiness<br />

in terms of moral purity, the Old<br />

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Testament, through this connection, regards holiness more as a matter of<br />

‘wholeness of heart,’ or ‘undivided heart;’ more specifically, as a matter of<br />

‘wholehearted devotedness’ to Adonai, or ‘undivided commitment to God’s<br />

work,’ as Peter J. Gentry pointed out in his article, “The Meaning of ‘Holy’<br />

in the Old Testament” (see Peter J. Gentry, “The Meaning of ‘Holy’ in the Old<br />

Testament”, Bibliotheca Sacra 170, 2013). Similarly, another outstanding Old<br />

Testament scholar, Mary Douglas, came to the conclusion that holiness means<br />

‘to be one,’ implying both ‘unity’ and ‘integrity’ [see Mary Douglas, Purity and<br />

Danger: An Analysis of Concepts of Pollution and Taboo, London (1966) 55].<br />

Because of this link between holiness / righteousness / godliness and<br />

wholeness / completeness / wholehearted dedication to God, the Old Testament<br />

is not uncomfortable in considering characters such as Abraham, Jacob,<br />

Moses, David, and others, as teleios, even though they cannot be identified<br />

with the embodiment of ‘moral perfection,’ and even less of ‘moral purity!’<br />

Following the understanding of the Old Testament, the New Testament<br />

stresses the relevance of the idea of ‘wholehearted dedication’ and<br />

‘commitment’ in relation to discipleship. Such a perspective gives new light<br />

to a frequently misunderstood passage of the Gospel of Matthew, and that<br />

betrays our pre-conceived understanding of the concept of biblical holiness:<br />

the call to be teleios found in Matthew 5:48 – an intertextual reworking<br />

of Leviticus 19:2 and 20:26, frequently misunderstood as a call to moral<br />

perfection, is actually a call to be wholeheartedly committed and oriented to<br />

God by following the Son in the Spirit. This leads us to say that [God-centered]<br />

wholeness is holiness. Such an understanding is found throughout the entire<br />

New Testament (see, for example, James 1:4.17.25; 2:8.22; 3:2; Hebrew 2:10;<br />

5:9.14; 6:1; 7:28; 9:9; 10:1.14; 12:23; 1 Corinthians 2:6; 14:20; Ephesians 4:13;<br />

Philippians 3:12.15; Colossians 1:28; 4:12). In so doing, both the Old and the<br />

New Testament interconnect human flourishing and well-being with holiness,<br />

and holiness with wholehearted commitment to Adonai. In this way, the Bible<br />

avoids the risk of identifying human flourishing and well-being with moral<br />

perfection, and, rather, points out that human flourishing and well-being are<br />

connected to the idea of ‘whole hearted orientation of one’s own life to God.’<br />

Conclusion. The present inquiry started by asking two basic questions: are<br />

human flourishing and well-being relevant to the biblical mind? If yes,<br />

what does it mean to live well and to flourish from a biblical perspective?<br />

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The discussion that followed allows us<br />

to present a summary and consolidation<br />

of the most relevant points.<br />

1Along with other trends of<br />

thought, ancient, modern and<br />

contemporary, the Bible is very<br />

interested in human flourishing and<br />

well-being. Human flourishing and<br />

well-being are indeed two central<br />

ideas of the biblical world.<br />

2. What is unique is a) the way<br />

the biblical mind portrays both of<br />

them and b) the path that it offers to<br />

experience both human flourishing<br />

and well-being.<br />

3. Despite the variegated<br />

lexicography related to human<br />

flourishing and well-being, the Bible<br />

privileges three terms: shalom, ashrê,<br />

and tamîm. Together, these three<br />

concepts offer a holistic view of<br />

human flourishing and well-being,<br />

without artificially juxtaposing or<br />

separating the spiritual and material.<br />

Human flourishing and well-being<br />

involve our bodies as much as our<br />

psyche and spirit.<br />

4. For the biblical mind there is no<br />

tension or conflict between a godly<br />

way of living, on the one hand, and<br />

human flourishing and well-being, on<br />

the other. There cannot be a godly life<br />

without a flourishing life in all of the<br />

dimensions of our existence. There is<br />

no such alternative as ‘either God or<br />

human flourishing and well-being.’<br />

The God of the Bible revealed in<br />

and through Jesus the Christ doesn’t<br />

compete against these two concepts.<br />

The Bible tells us exactly the opposite:<br />

we don’t have to choose between<br />

God or human flourishing. If human<br />

flourishing and well-being are a real<br />

possibility for us, it is because of<br />

God’s work in history. God is not an<br />

‘excluding’ alternative to our human<br />

flourishing and well-being, and he<br />

doesn’t take anything away from us<br />

that is related to abundant life.<br />

5. From the biblical perspective,<br />

human flourishing and well-being<br />

have to do more with ‘living’ and<br />

‘being’ rather than with ‘having.’<br />

Indeed, both human flourishing and<br />

well-being point to a ‘way of living’ or<br />

a ‘way of being in the world,’ without<br />

being of the world (see John 17:14).<br />

6. Biblical wisdom is meant to<br />

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encourage and unveil how to experience both human flourishing and wellbeing.<br />

It does so by reminding us of the only three really relevant keys that are<br />

able to open the doors of abundant life: our relationship with God, with others,<br />

and with creation. It is the quality of these three relationships, taken together,<br />

that prevents or fosters human flourishing and well-being. Therefore, human<br />

flourishing and well-being imply a lot more than simply absence of conflicts/<br />

tensions, inner satisfaction, tranquility, and peace. The biblical mind conceives<br />

human flourishing and well-being as fruits of a proper relationship with God,<br />

neighbor, and creation. Whereas in the Old Testament this is believed to be<br />

possible by listening to and living both the Written and Oral Torah, in the New<br />

Testament, it is Jesus of Nazareth who is the way to human flourishing and<br />

well-being. Torah (oral and written) and Jesus are the explanation, description<br />

and model of what human flourishing and well-being are all about.<br />

7. The God of Israel revealed in and through Jesus of Nazareth is the answer<br />

to the radical question of how to flourish and thrive. Jesus’ life, death and<br />

resurrection represent the climax of God’s redemptive work, aimed at restoring<br />

each of us to full humanity and well-being, by flourishing in and through Jesus<br />

the Christ. In and through him both human flourishing and well-being are<br />

fully revealed.<br />

8. Human flourishing and well-being are at the very core of God’s redemptive<br />

work. And they should also be at the core of the mission of the Church.<br />

Whereas we can discuss the various ‘hows and means’ to fulfill such a mission,<br />

it is clear that both human flourishing and well-being should be included in<br />

today’s mission of every Christian community striving to walk and grow in the<br />

footsteps of the Master from Nazareth.<br />

Having portrayed human flourishing and well-being from the perspective<br />

of the Old Testament, with some hints to the New, in the next issue of <strong>Theosis</strong><br />

—Transformation, we will explore in more depth the relationship between<br />

human flourishing, well-being, Jesus the Christ and the New Testament.<br />

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“I tell you:<br />

Not seven times,<br />

but seventy-seven times [...]”<br />

Matthew 18:22<br />

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Jesus, Peter & Forgiveness:<br />

A Gospel-centered Perspective<br />

We are all familiar with the<br />

beginning of the narrative<br />

in Matthew 18:21-35: Peter<br />

approaching Jesus with the question:<br />

“Lord, how many times shall I forgive<br />

my brother or sister who sins against<br />

me? Up to seven times?” (v. 21). It<br />

is not hard to imagine, looking at<br />

the way Peter shapes and frames<br />

his question, what was going on<br />

in his mind. What is a little more<br />

challenging, perhaps, is to imagine<br />

Peter’s feelings and thoughts after<br />

Jesus’ unsettling answer: “I tell you,<br />

not seven times, but seventy-seven<br />

times.” (v. 22). Was Peter frustrated<br />

by Jesus’ words? Discouraged?<br />

Perplexed? Silent? We can only infer<br />

a possible reaction, since the episode<br />

is silent on this detail of the narrative.<br />

It is an eloquent silence because it<br />

emphasizes Jesus’ answer even more<br />

and keeps the attention focused<br />

not so much on Peter but on Jesus.<br />

The article offers original insights<br />

regarding Jesus’ answer to Peter,<br />

digging deeper than the ‘standard’<br />

understanding of Jesus words as an<br />

invitation to forgive without limits.<br />

Making use (deliberately or not) of a<br />

hermeneutical Jewish principle known<br />

as Stringing Pearls, or in Hebrew<br />

‘Gezerah Shevah’ (Comparison of<br />

Equals – Scripture interprets Scripture<br />

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in the sense that a passage of the Bible can expand on another biblical passage<br />

if they share the same word), the author of Echoes of Forgiveness explores<br />

the implied richness of Jesus’ answer by delving into three other biblical<br />

passages that echo each other: Luke 4:16-21; Genesis 4:23-24 and Daniel 9:1-24.<br />

The way the three readings resound allows us to grasp something about the<br />

value of forgiveness from a Gospel-centered perspective. Juxtaposing Jesus’<br />

answer to Peter, with the so-called Nazareth Manifesto (Luke 4:16-21), Jesus<br />

is confessed as the One inaugurating the Jubilee Year, forgiveness is placed<br />

at the core of the biblical<br />

Jubilee Year,<br />

and Jesus’ followers<br />

are called to be<br />

“Jubilee-celebrating people,”<br />

i.e. people who are ready and open to<br />

receive and give the gift of the Jubilee<br />

Year: forgiveness. In this perspective,<br />

forgiveness is not an ‘optional’ item<br />

added to our Christian identity; it<br />

belongs at the very core of our own<br />

identity, be it individual or collective.<br />

This is not all though. By<br />

recalling the episode of Lamech<br />

and his wives, Zillah and<br />

Adah (Genesis 4:23-24), the author<br />

advances the thesis that Jesus’<br />

words about forgiveness subvert<br />

and invert the “principle of revenge”<br />

implied in the words of Cain’s son,<br />

into ‘the principle of forgiveness.’<br />

Such a literary outcome is meant to<br />

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call Jesus’ disciples and their communities to embrace and witness the ‘the<br />

creative and unpredictable injustice of forgiveness’ and reject or refuse<br />

‘the destructive—and all too predictable—justice of mimetic violence.’<br />

By the end of Kevichusa’s article, readers will have a clearer understanding<br />

of the relevance and centrality of forgiveness in Jesus’ spirituality and in<br />

the life of every Christian community. Forgiveness sanctions the death<br />

of death, and celebrates the life of life. Forgiveness covers sin, rebellion,<br />

revenge, and wrongdoing with the clothes of true righteousness. And, as<br />

Jesus’ followers, we are all called to share the power and the benefits of<br />

forgiveness, both at personal and community levels. As Jesus followers<br />

we share the vocation of embodying forgiveness and witnessing both<br />

its power and benefits, both at personal and at political or social levels.<br />

SOURCE: Kevichusa, Aniu. “Echoes of Forgiveness.” RZIM, ND. Read the full<br />

article here.<br />

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“To forgive is<br />

to set a prisoner free<br />

and discover that the prisoner was you.”<br />

Lewis B. Smedes<br />

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Photo by Olga Vyshnevska on Unsplash<br />

Section # 2<br />

Psychology &<br />

Spirituality<br />

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How Forgiving<br />

Are You?<br />

“The only way out of the labyrinth<br />

of suffering, is to forgive...”<br />

— John Green —<br />

Before diving into the<br />

theme of Forgiveness, stop<br />

for a couple of seconds.<br />

Have you ever wondered how<br />

forgiving you are? The quiz provided<br />

by the website Greater Good in Action<br />

(https://ggia.berkeley.edu/) helps you<br />

to better understand how you respond<br />

to those who do you wrong. The quiz,<br />

inspired by forgiveness research<br />

pioneer Michael McCullough, has<br />

twelve questions. At the end, once<br />

you have submitted your answers,<br />

you will be led to a new URL page<br />

displaying your score with a short<br />

comment regarding your typical<br />

response when someone hurts you.<br />

To take the quiz, please, click here.<br />

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past,<br />

but you sure do change the future.”<br />

— Bernard Meltzer —<br />

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Why Does Forgiveness Matter?<br />

The Personal & Collective Value of Forgiveness<br />

“Love is an act of endless forgiveness;<br />

a tender look which becomes a habit.”<br />

— Peter Ustinov —<br />

Challenging by its nature,<br />

forgiveness can become even<br />

more challenging as we all<br />

know how easy it is to become fixated<br />

on our grievances. As Desmond Tutu<br />

and Mpho Tutu write in their article<br />

Why We Forgive, “The traumas we<br />

have witnessed or experienced live<br />

on in our memories. Even years<br />

later they can cause us fresh pain<br />

each time we recall them” and,<br />

most of the time, with all the best<br />

and “logic reasons” of the world!.<br />

But, dwelling on our wounded<br />

memories, when forgiveness<br />

has not yet occurred, nurses the<br />

desire of wanting to ‘get back at’<br />

the wrongdoer. Dwelling on our<br />

past wounded memories without<br />

forgiveness imprisons us in the<br />

invisible cage of our pain, locked out<br />

of the possibility of being healed, of<br />

regaining both freedom and peace,<br />

of being mentally, emotionally, and<br />

spiritually transformed. Even if the<br />

transformation that occurs through<br />

forgiveness concerns the individual,<br />

it has a value and an impact that goes<br />

beyond the mere personal sphere.<br />

Forgiveness has social repercussions.<br />

As Paul reminds us when he writes<br />

about the unity and diversity of<br />

the body of Christ (1Cor 12:12-27),<br />

we are not an island; we are part of<br />

and belong to a delicate network<br />

of interdependence, and one part<br />

affects all the others: 12 Just as a<br />

body, though one, has many parts,<br />

but all its many parts form one body,<br />

so it is with Christ. 13 For we were<br />

all baptized by one Spirit so as to<br />

form one body—whether Jews or<br />

Gentiles, slave or free—and we were<br />

all given the one Spirit to drink. 14<br />

Even so the body is not made up of<br />

one part but of many…. If one part<br />

suffers, every part suffers with it;<br />

if one part is honored, every part<br />

rejoices with it.” (1 Cor 12:12-14.26)<br />

And this is the point that Desmond<br />

“Forgiveness is the key<br />

to action and freedom.”<br />

— Hannah Arendt —<br />

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Tutu and Mpho Tutu try to make: forgiveness doesn’t only mark a point<br />

of healing of healing in our personal journey, because it also brings<br />

healing to our families, communities and our world. In other words,<br />

forgiveness has both an individual and collective value and relevance.<br />

SOURCE: Tutu, Desmond & Tutu, Mpho. “Why We Forgive.” Spirituality &<br />

Health, 17 Feb. 2014. Read the full article here.<br />

“A life lived without forgiveness is a prison.”<br />

— William Arthur Ward —<br />

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Which Two of the Following<br />

Is Forgiveness?<br />

Some of the following ideas have been used to describe forgiveness<br />

in the past. Two of them are accurate definitions of forgiveness.<br />

Some of them are not quite right, and some of them are just plain<br />

wrong. Which are the right ones? What are the others if they are<br />

not forgiveness? Select your two answers at the bottom of the page.<br />

Telling yourself that what happened wasn’t really that bad, and that you ought<br />

to just forget what happened and move on.<br />

Yes<br />

No<br />

I don’t know<br />

Forgetting that anything bad happened, simply pushing the event or relationship<br />

out of your memory.<br />

Yes<br />

No<br />

I don’t know<br />

Starting up your relationship with the person who hurt you again, as if nothing<br />

happened.<br />

Yes<br />

No<br />

I don’t know<br />

Opening yourself to be hurt again.<br />

Yes<br />

No<br />

I don’t know<br />

Accepting an excuse or explanation for what someone did or is doing to you.<br />

Yes<br />

No<br />

I don’t know<br />

Doing whatever you can to smooth over conflict.<br />

Yes<br />

No<br />

I don’t know<br />

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A voluntary release of your right to condemn and get revenge on the person who<br />

hurt you because you have different feelings toward the person.<br />

Yes<br />

No<br />

I don’t know<br />

Tolerating negative things that someone has done or continues to do to you.<br />

Yes<br />

No<br />

I don’t know<br />

Accepting people despite their flaws.<br />

Yes<br />

No<br />

I don’t know<br />

Blaming and confronting the person who hurt you.<br />

Yes<br />

No<br />

I don’t know<br />

Getting someone who hurt you to believe that everything is still okay.<br />

Yes<br />

No<br />

I don’t know<br />

Getting even with the person who hurt you.<br />

Yes<br />

No<br />

I don’t know<br />

Voluntary decision to give up the right to revenge and release a person from any<br />

interpersonal debt incurred by wronging you.<br />

Yes<br />

No<br />

I don’t know<br />

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Having the other person apologize, express regret, or beg forgiveness until the<br />

balance of justice has been restored.<br />

Yes<br />

No<br />

I don’t know<br />

I choose _______ and _______ as the definition(s) of forgiveness. Here’s why: (write<br />

your reasons here below).<br />

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Explanation for<br />

Non-Forgiveness Options<br />

Here are reactions to each incorrect definition of forgiveness. Read the<br />

definition on the previous page. Then read the reactions, on this page<br />

and the next one.<br />

1. This is denial. If you are hurt and you try to deny it to yourself, the denial<br />

almost never works. The hurt keeps resurfacing and you never seem to be<br />

free of it.<br />

2. Forgetting is impossible. A memory has been formed. The memory may<br />

shift with time. It may change. Or the pain you associate with the memory<br />

may even diminish or disappear. But you simply won’t be able to completely<br />

forget. The disturbing part of trying to forget is that the harder you try, the<br />

less you will succeed.<br />

3. Trying to start over might actually smooth out the relationship. But<br />

smoothing out the relationship is not forgiving. In addition, pretending that<br />

the event didn’t matter might communicate to the person who hurt you that it<br />

is okay to hurt you the same way again.<br />

4. Opening yourself to be hurt again is possible if you continue or restart your<br />

interaction with the person who hurt you. That decision is separate from a<br />

decision to forgive or not. You can forgive and restore the relationship (called<br />

reconciliation) or forgive and not restore the relationship. Or you can not<br />

forgive but choose to interact with the person (and risk further hurts) or not<br />

forgive and not choose to interact.<br />

5. You can accept an excuse or explanation (whether a valid excuse or<br />

explanation or an inadequate one) and still not forgive the person for hurting<br />

you.<br />

6. Smoothing over conflict can be done whether or not you forgive.<br />

7. This is emotional forgiveness. It acknowledges that a wrong was done but<br />

chooses not to seek revenge and not to continue to condemn the person who<br />

hurt you. It is the experience of forgiving because you experience different<br />

feelings toward the person.<br />

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8. Tolerating negative things will generally not stop the negative, and it will<br />

generally keep you angry and unforgiving.<br />

9. Accepting someone (with or without acknowledging the flaws) is not<br />

forgiving. We can accept a person and not forgive a hurtful act by the person.<br />

Or we can forgive a hurtful act and still not accept the person.<br />

10. Blaming a person for hurting you certainly acknowledges the person’s<br />

guilt but blame keeps the hurt “on the front burner.” Confronting the person,<br />

which is directly talking with the person about the hurt, might help the<br />

relationship (if the confrontation is done gently in love and other person talks<br />

instead of attaching or defending). Confronting the person might also damage<br />

the relationship. Confronting is not forgiving.<br />

11. Getting someone who hurt you to believe everything is okay when you feel<br />

hurt is not forgiving; it is deception. The deception might be done for good<br />

motives (such as to spare feelings or prevent being fired by a boss). Or the<br />

deception might have more complex or even evil motives (such as setting the<br />

person up so you can hurt him or her).<br />

12. Getting even is revenge, not forgiveness.<br />

13. This is decisional forgiveness. It involves your pledge that your behavior will<br />

not be aimed at revenge, but that you will try to behave as if the transgression<br />

never happened.<br />

14. While having the person apologize, express regret, or beg forgiveness<br />

might make you willing to put the offense behind you and might allow you<br />

to feel at peace, it is more like getting justice than like forgiving. If the other<br />

person humbles himself or herself enough to satisfy your sense of justice,<br />

often the other person will feel resentful and feel that you might have asked<br />

for too much.<br />

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Deconstructing and<br />

Defining Forgiveness<br />

When you hear the word “forgiveness,” or the verb “to forgive,”<br />

what comes to your mind? In the article, Forgive Me, Forgive Me<br />

Not. 8 Things that Forgiveness is and 8 Things it is not, Neil Faber,<br />

adjunct Professor of Psychology at Arizona State University, outlines the<br />

essential features of forgiveness and dismantles some prejudices that shape<br />

the “how” we understand and live forgiveness. Indeed, depending on our<br />

perspective on forgiveness, there will be a big difference in the way we offer,<br />

receive, and perceive forgiveness. Finally, the author also presents some of<br />

the benefits (spiritual, psychological, and physical) flowing from forgiveness.<br />

Before moving forward, consider the following points and ponder<br />

whether you can recognize yourself in one, some, or all of them.<br />

If he/she asks for forgiveness, I think I could forgive him/her.<br />

Forget about forgiveness: I do not want to be weak!<br />

I don’t know why I should forgive him/her. In fact, I didn’t do anything wrong.<br />

I do not want to forgive: he/she does not deserve my forgiveness.<br />

Well, I guess I should forgive, because, after all, the offense and the pain caused<br />

by it are not so big.<br />

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Even if I forgive him/her, our relationship would never be like it was before.<br />

I would love to be able to forgive, but the problem is that I’m not able to forget.<br />

If you recognized yourself in one, some, or all of the above statements, you<br />

probably misunderstand what forgiveness is all about.<br />

The author defines forgiveness<br />

as a challenging and slow<br />

process of healing, the first<br />

step of which implies recognizing<br />

the pain and wounds received.<br />

Through this acknowledgement we<br />

activate a journey toward freedom.<br />

Feelings of vengeance, resentment,<br />

or of anger fade away, leaving room<br />

for peace, rather than mere justice,<br />

proximity with others, and renewed<br />

connections. Through forgiveness we<br />

experience both stress reduction and<br />

improvement in our quality of life.<br />

By its very nature, forgiveness is one<br />

of the significant and real challenges<br />

we all face at some point in our lives.<br />

Often, though, we make it more difficult<br />

than it is due to our misconceptions<br />

about forgiveness. It is very easy to<br />

misunderstand, and, consequently,<br />

to misapply and misuse forgiveness.<br />

Among the common stereotypes<br />

and false assumptions regarding<br />

forgiveness, the author mentions<br />

the fact that we often think that we<br />

need to receive an apology before<br />

we forgive. In thinking this way,<br />

we forget that forgiveness is not<br />

dependent on this expectation (it<br />

could never happen), and it doesn’t<br />

require an acknowledgment of the<br />

wrong done by the wrongdoer. An<br />

apology doesn’t need to be asked<br />

for. Forgiveness is unconditional<br />

because it is not restrained by any<br />

specific conditions related to the<br />

wrongdoer (his/her repentance,<br />

request of forgiveness, awareness,<br />

etc.). Forgiveness is totally gratuitous.<br />

A second common misunderstanding<br />

presumes that forgiveness is a onetime<br />

action: that once it is done, it<br />

is done. Now, we have to keep in<br />

mind that one of the reasons why<br />

forgiveness is challenging is exactly<br />

because rather than being an action, it<br />

is a process: a process of healing whose<br />

length depends on many variables.<br />

A third misleading stereotype is<br />

thinking that forgiving is synonymous<br />

with forgetting. If we forget, we don’t<br />

have anything to forgive. Forgetting<br />

should never be a requirement<br />

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for forgiveness to happen.<br />

A fourth stereotype, connected with<br />

the previous point, is that forgiveness<br />

does not imply repressing our painful<br />

memories or denying, diminishing<br />

or ignoring the gravity of the wrong<br />

received; likewise, forgiveness does<br />

not mean condoning or tolerating<br />

injustice and wrong behavior.<br />

Forgiveness is not a feeling. We<br />

do not have to wait for the feeling<br />

to forgive to well up in us. This<br />

might never happen! And while we<br />

wait for this to happen, we remain<br />

chained by bitterness and anger.<br />

Finally, forgiveness does not have<br />

to be identified with reconciliation.<br />

Forgiveness might lead to<br />

reconciliation, but it does not imply<br />

it. We can offer forgiveness without<br />

reconciliation.<br />

As far as the beneficial effects<br />

of forgiveness are concerned, the<br />

author outlines three: first, as much<br />

as receiving God’s forgiveness<br />

sets us free, so too does extending<br />

forgiveness set us free from the<br />

chains of resentment, anger, and<br />

revenge. It brings peace leading to joy.<br />

Secondly, forgiveness creates<br />

proximity between the one who did<br />

wrong and the one who received it.<br />

To borrow the language of the parable<br />

of the Good Samaritan (see Luke<br />

10:25-37), forgiveness transforms us<br />

from resentful wounded people to<br />

wounded “neighbours,” or wounded<br />

brothers or sisters. Normally and<br />

naturally, the harm we have received<br />

becomes a kind of invisible lens<br />

through which we look at the person<br />

who harmed us. We look at the person<br />

as “the one who harmed me,” as “the<br />

one who wounded me,” as “the one<br />

who did me wrong.” The pain we<br />

have experienced makes us shortsighted:<br />

with seemingly plausible<br />

and sensible reasons, our pain and<br />

wounds distort our way of relating<br />

to the wrongdoer. The process of<br />

forgiveness transforms this point<br />

of view. And prayer becomes very<br />

handy and relevant.<br />

Praying for the well-being of the one<br />

who did wrong (more challenging<br />

than what you might think) leads us to<br />

perceive him/her less from the vantage<br />

point of the pain we have experienced,<br />

and more from God’s perspective,<br />

that is a forgiving one. In doing so,<br />

prayer creates proximity, connection,<br />

and it helps to heal and strengthen<br />

relationships that have been harmed.<br />

Finally, forgiveness can impact our<br />

health. Forgiveness brings physical<br />

and psychological benefits to the<br />

person who forgives: both medicine<br />

and psychology have proven that<br />

forgiveness lowers stress levels,<br />

implements well-being, and even<br />

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Forgiving people are less prone to suffer heart disease, high blood pressure,<br />

and other chronic and stress-related illnesses than unforgiving people.<br />

SOURCE: Farber, Neil. “Forgive Me, Forgive Me Not. 8 Things that Forgiveness<br />

is and 8 Things it is not.” Psychology Today, 29 Oct. 2015. Read the full article<br />

here.<br />

"Forgiveness is not<br />

an occasional act,<br />

it is a constant<br />

attitude."<br />

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.<br />

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What Is<br />

Forgiveness?<br />

Forgiveness is a matter of accepting life as it comes to us especially<br />

when things go differently from what we have been hoping for and<br />

our expectations are frustrated and hurt. Acceptance, for Fred Luskin,<br />

is not developing a fatalistic attitude toward life. It is, rather, the result of<br />

a choice that evolves through a process of progressive acceptance. This<br />

process is activated by grieving, but without clinging to the negative part<br />

of the experience, i.e. that of having been hurt. Healthy grief implies three<br />

stages: it requires us to acknowledge the harm received, to experience those<br />

feelings that normally accompany the negative experience, and to share the<br />

harm and the negative experience with a trusted confidant. Through this<br />

tri-fold process acceptance can sprout and hopefully lead us to forgiveness.<br />

SOURCE: Luskin, Fred. “What is Forgiveness?” Greater Good Magazine, 19 Aug.<br />

2010. Read the full article here.<br />

“Sometimes forgiveness<br />

is the hardest thing to give,<br />

but the most cherished thing<br />

to receive.”<br />

— Maya Banks —<br />

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Pain, disappointment, and<br />

disillusionment are part of our<br />

everyday experience. And yet, it<br />

is not written in stone that they have to<br />

define us and direct our lives because<br />

we have a choice. We can choose to<br />

succumb to our negative experiences,<br />

or choose the opposite path, i.e.<br />

we can choose to not let past hurts<br />

determine how we feel in the present.<br />

Indeed, for renowned author and<br />

director of the Stanford University<br />

Forgiveness Project, Dr. Fred<br />

Luskin, forgiveness is the result of a<br />

deliberate and intentional choice to<br />

enter and start a process of healing<br />

articulated in nine progressive stages<br />

(see the link to the second article) that<br />

provide us with the necessary skills<br />

to become more forgiving people.<br />

Forgiving:<br />

An Art & Process We Can Learn?<br />

Forgiveness, for Dr. Luskin,<br />

is something we can learn to<br />

practice. Starting from the smallest<br />

grievances we can learn the skills<br />

to limit the negative effects that<br />

pain and anger can have on us, and<br />

intentionally choose forgiveness<br />

over resentment and bitterness.<br />

SOURCES: Luskin, Fred. “The Choice<br />

to Forgive.” Greater Good Magazine,<br />

1 Sept. 2004. Read the full article<br />

here; Luskin, Fred. “Nine Steps to<br />

Forgiveness.” Greater Good Magazine,<br />

1, Sept. 2004. Read the full article<br />

here.<br />

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The Invisible Barriers to<br />

Forgiveness<br />

Most of us, if not all, find forgiveness challenging to live and practice. We<br />

naturally perceive barriers and invisible walls that, even if we want<br />

to, seem to refrain us from being able to forgive. Such inability, in most<br />

cases, doesn’t have anything to do with a lack of moral or religious values. It is<br />

not even because of our misconceptions regarding forgiveness, i.e., for example,<br />

thinking that forgiving means excusing, overlooking, forgetting, condoning or<br />

diminishing the harm received; or, that we need to be asked for forgiveness by<br />

the wrongdoer, or that forgiveness is a sign of weakness, and so forth. We simply<br />

experience the challenge of forgiving because forgiveness is challenging!<br />

The article deals with some of the barriers preventing us from giving<br />

forgiveness. But it takes a very interesting route. Rather than following the<br />

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results of previous studies on the psychological impediments to forgiveness,<br />

according to which barriers to forgiving were identified in a lack of compassion<br />

and kindness, the research of Ian Williamson and Marti Gonzales focused<br />

on the fears and concerns of the victims when considering the ‘forgivenessoption.’<br />

One such concern is ‘unreadiness;’ another is identified with ‘selfprotection,’<br />

and the third one with ‘face concerns.’ Can all of them, or just<br />

one or two of them, explain why you might find forgiveness challenging?<br />

To find out, read the article, “How to Overcome Barriers to Forgiveness.”<br />

SOURCES: Graham, Linda. “How to Overcome Barriers to Forgiveness.” Greater<br />

Good Magazine, 13 May 2014. Read the full article here.<br />

“Never forget<br />

the three powerful resources<br />

you always have available to you:<br />

love,<br />

prayer,<br />

forgiveness.”<br />

— H. Jackson Brown Jr. —<br />

<strong>Theosis</strong> - Transformation - <strong>Issue</strong> n o 1 | <strong>June</strong> <strong>2019</strong> | 39


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Keys to Unlock<br />

Forgiveness<br />

When we decide not to forgive,<br />

we also decide to let our past<br />

wounds and hurts define us<br />

and to influence our choices<br />

“here” and “now”.<br />

Forgiveness, on the contrary, acts exactly in the opposite direction. It gives<br />

us back our life by making us free - free to reach the highest point. In the<br />

Gospel of Luke one episode speaks for itself in this regard: Jesus on the<br />

cross (Luke 23:24).<br />

Freedom is not the only benefit of forgiving. Forgiveness bears other fruits<br />

too. Nancy Radford, author of the article Forgiveness: The Key to a Happier<br />

Future, mentions among them: the cleansing of our mind and heart to give<br />

up thoughts such as “I will make him/her pay,” “I’ll just wait to see him/her<br />

unhappy or in trouble,” and to let go of our grudges.<br />

Nancy Radford’s article, besides mentioning briefly some of the benefits<br />

of forgiveness, lists some specific steps or keys that can help us in becoming<br />

more forgiving people.<br />

SOURCES: Radford, Nancy. “Forgiveness: The Keys into a Happier Future.”<br />

Positive Psychology Program, 22 Nov. 2018. Updated on May 23, <strong>2019</strong>. Read<br />

the full article here.<br />

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The Key of All the Keys:<br />

Let It Go, Let It Be.<br />

We all know this truth: forgiveness is a<br />

vital decision to make because<br />

it requires the ability of letting go. We do not have too many choices: letting<br />

go is the “conditio sine qua non” for forgiveness to happen. If we want to<br />

forgive, we need to learn to let go. But why and how? With this question in<br />

mind, Nancy Radford’s article unfolds six basic points, three for the “why” and<br />

other three related to the “how.”<br />

From her perspective, the “why” discloses three different answers: letting<br />

go saves us from more unnecessary pain, i.e. the pain of seeing our wounds<br />

go unrecognized and unnoticed by the wrongdoer; it prevents us from<br />

developing a “victim complex;” and it protects us from the danger of selfpity.<br />

Finally, in the last section of the article, Nancy Radford deals with the<br />

“how.” She outlines a basic threefold process structured around the following<br />

essential stages: acknowledgement of our pain, recognition of our needs, and<br />

resolution to take action.<br />

SOURCE: Radford, Nancy. “Letting Go of Resentment: How and Why.” Nancy<br />

Radford Mediation and Coaching, 6 Mar. 2018. Read the full article here.<br />

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Forgiveness:<br />

Is It Worth Forgiving?<br />

In our current cultural context, forgiveness is a counter-cultural<br />

phenomenon; because of that, it can be easily mistaken for an act<br />

of madness, an unreasonable choice that does not bring any kind of<br />

advantage. The article written by Everett L. Worthington challenges this<br />

assumption: considering how challenging forgiveness is, do you think it is<br />

really worth it to forgive? What do we get back in exchange for letting go<br />

of our pain and wounds? Why should we forgive, rather than give back the<br />

wrong received?<br />

The author’s thesis, supported through references to some of the most<br />

exhaustive studies in this matter, is that forgiveness actually brings a fourfold<br />

benefit: physical, psychological, social and spiritual. Indeed, findings<br />

from current research on forgiveness established that forgiveness can<br />

change our own physiology, including lowering blood pressure, heart rate,<br />

sweat activity, as well as lower tension and improve both cardiovascular and<br />

immune systems.<br />

Forgiving people also show a lower degree of stress, a higher degree of selfesteem<br />

and satisfaction, less risk of psychological distress caused by feelings<br />

such as nervousness, restlessness, and sadness, and happier relationships.<br />

It has also been found that forgiveness contributes to reducing levels of<br />

anxiety, anger and grief.<br />

As far as the social aspect is concerned, forgiveness seems to foster the wellbeing<br />

of those relationships that demand a strong degree of commitment; it<br />

restores more benevolent and cooperative goals to relationships.<br />

Finally, forgiving people are more prone to consider things from the other<br />

person’s perspective and less prone in dwelling on how fair or unfair a<br />

transgression was, or how just or unjust a solution might be.<br />

If you still wonder, if and how worthwhile forgiveness might be for our<br />

pursuit of well-being, read Everett L. Worthington’s article to find out more<br />

details about the benefits that forgiveness has in store for you. Isn’t it worth<br />

it to cultivate forgiving attitudes?<br />

SOURCES: Worthington, Everett. “The New Science of Forgiveness.” Greater<br />

Good Magazine, 1, Sept. 2004. Read the full article here.<br />

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Section #3<br />

Useful<br />

Resources<br />

<strong>Theosis</strong> - Transformation - <strong>Issue</strong> n o 1 | <strong>June</strong> <strong>2019</strong> | 43


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Resources:<br />

Featured Resources of the Month<br />

To watch the video “Dr. Fred Luskin Talks<br />

About The Power of Forgiveness”, click on<br />

the picture.<br />

To watch the video “Forgive For Good”,<br />

featuring Dr. Fred Luskin, click on the picture.<br />

To visit the website Greater Good in<br />

Action, click on the picture.<br />

To preview the book “The Art of Forgiving.<br />

When You Need to Forgive and Don’t Know<br />

How”, click on the image.<br />

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Resources:<br />

Resource List of the Month<br />

In each edition of the magazine, THEOSIS - Transformation<br />

will offer its readers multimedia resources for their continued exploration and reflection.<br />

Such resources will be related to the theme of that particular edition.<br />

Web Books Videos<br />

Greater Good in Action.<br />

University of California - Berkeley<br />

Website Homepage<br />

The Forgiveness Project<br />

Archbishop Desmond Tutu & Dame<br />

Anita Roddick, Founding Patrons<br />

Website Homepage<br />

Ignatian Spirituality.com<br />

A service of Loyola Press<br />

Website Homepage<br />

Allen R. Hunt<br />

Everybody Needs to Forgive<br />

Somebody<br />

Preview the book here<br />

Lewis Smedes<br />

Forgive and Forget: Healing the<br />

Hurts We Don’t Deserve<br />

Preview the book here<br />

Lewis Smedes<br />

The Art of Forgiving: When You<br />

Need to Forgive and Don’t Know<br />

How<br />

Preview the book here<br />

Forgive For Good<br />

Dr. Fred Luskin<br />

Watch the video here<br />

How and Why to Forgive<br />

Dr. Fred Luskin<br />

Watch the video here<br />

Joseph Forgives<br />

(Genesis 42-45)<br />

Kids’ video<br />

Watch the video here<br />

<strong>Theosis</strong> - Transformation - <strong>Issue</strong> n o 1 | <strong>June</strong> <strong>2019</strong> | 45


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Upcoming Events — Days of Prayer, Retreats, Workshops,<br />

<strong>June</strong> - July <strong>2019</strong><br />

For more info about the upcoming events, contact La Salette Retreat & Conference Center<br />

by writing to office@lasaletteretreatcenter.com or by calling 508.222.8530 or by visiting our<br />

website @ www.lasaletteretreatcenter.com<br />

We’d love to hear from you! Thank you.<br />

7<br />

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Under the Wings of God<br />

is the Field of Grace:<br />

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WEEKEND WOMEN’S RETREAT<br />

FRIDAY, JUNE 7 - SUNDAY, JUNE 9, <strong>2019</strong><br />

PRESENTERS:<br />

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For more info and registration click here<br />

Thomas Merton:<br />

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DAY OF REFLECTION<br />

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19<br />

JUNE<br />

From Mourning<br />

to Morning<br />

DAY OF REFLECTION<br />

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 19, <strong>2019</strong><br />

PRESENTER:<br />

DOTTIE LEVESQUE<br />

For more info and registration click here<br />

45$<br />

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23<br />

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ONE-DAY WOMEN’S RETREAT<br />

SUNDAY, JUNE 23, <strong>2019</strong><br />

PRESENTER:<br />

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For more info and registration click here<br />

Balancing Prayer &<br />

Work: Dancing the<br />

Delicate Dance<br />

ONE-DAY RETREAT<br />

SUNDAY, JULY 14, <strong>2019</strong><br />

PRESENTER:<br />

MICHAEL BOOVER<br />

For more info and registration click here<br />

45$<br />

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14<br />

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Living the Psalms,<br />

Living in God’s Presence<br />

8-DAY PREACHED AND GUIDED RETREAT<br />

SUNDAY, JULY 14 - SUNDAY, JULY 21, <strong>2019</strong><br />

PRESENTERS:<br />

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3 WORKSHOPS ON<br />

BIBLE & WELL-BEING<br />

DAY OF PRAYER<br />

SATURDAY, JULY 27, <strong>2019</strong><br />

PRESENTER:<br />

DOTTIE LEVESQUE<br />

For more info and registration click here<br />

SATURDAY | AUGUST 10<br />

SATURDAY | SEPTEMBER 28<br />

SUNDAY | OCTOBER 20<br />

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10<br />

AUG<br />

Yearnings of the Heart:<br />

Enhancing Well-being<br />

Through Grateul Living<br />

WORKSHOP<br />

SATURDAY, AUGUST 10, <strong>2019</strong><br />

PRESENTERS:<br />

Fr. FLAVIO GILLIO, m.s. & Dr. SALLY RICONSCENTE<br />

For more info and registration click here<br />

45$<br />

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28<br />

SEPT<br />

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OCT<br />

Breaking the Chains<br />

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Process of Letting Go<br />

WORKSHOP<br />

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, <strong>2019</strong><br />

PRESENTERS:<br />

Fr. FLAVIO GILLIO, m.s. & Dr. SALLY RICONSCENTE<br />

For more info and registration click here<br />

Clothed in<br />

Compassion... Donning<br />

Garments of Mercy<br />

WORKSHOP<br />

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 20, <strong>2019</strong><br />

PRESENTERS:<br />

Fr. FLAVIO GILLIO, m.s. & Dr. SALLY RICONSCENTE<br />

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Get in Touch. We’d Love to Hear from You.<br />

Do you have an inspiring and<br />

edifying story about forgiveness<br />

that could bring hope and encouragement<br />

to other readers?<br />

Do you have questions about<br />

some of the topics covered in<br />

this issue of <strong>Theosis</strong>—Transformation?<br />

<strong>Theosis</strong>—Transformation would<br />

love to hear from you.<br />

To get in touch simply write to:<br />

COMING UP NEXT JULY<br />

Don’t miss our July issue of<br />

<strong>Theosis</strong> — Transformation,<br />

that will focus on:<br />

COMPASSION:<br />

A PASSION WITH A HEART<br />

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Monthly Goals<br />

Goal<br />

Due Date<br />

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Monthly Planner<br />

(Format can change from issue to issue depending on the topic)<br />

Goals<br />

To-do list<br />

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