March / April 2007 - Sacramento County Bar Association

D
“And for my next trick…;”
Is there life after law? By Melissa Meith
ecember marked my first full month as an “inactive”
member of the State Bar as well as the 26th anniversary
of my admission. I am retired, an ex-lawyer, and according to the
official rules of inactivity, I may not say lawyerly things or think
lawyerly thoughts, even if I want to. Having spent a little time
floating around in this gravity-free life, I have noticed a few things
I want to pass on.
For those of you wondering about leaving the law, I say be not
afraid. It's cool.
I no longer view clocks as little tyrants screaming “more,
better, faster.” Did you know that it is possible for clocks to
simply provide information about the hour of the day? The
time I spend on tasks is guided by how much time that task
requires rather than the itty-bitty slice of time available. I actually
read the newspaper for as long as it takes to read the newspaper.
I go out to walk the dog and keep on walking until I feel
like turning around. I no longer squeeze in a phone call to
mom while signing letters and updating my calendar. I do
those things one at a time. I call this “uni-tasking.”
In the same way, I do not plan much of anything. I buy groceries
when I want the groceries instead of laying in supplies once
a week in some mad consumer frenzy laughingly excused as “meal
planning.” When I make an appointment, I can let the other person
suggest a time, after which I almost always say, “Fine.” Except
for hair cuts. The hair cuts are still on a schedule because, you
know, you cannot leave the hair to “whenever.”
Once I got the hang of hanging, I noticed the solitude.
Practicing law means you are sworn to protect your client by
Isn’t it funny how life periodically
brings you around to one question:
what do you really want to do?
being vigilant all the darned time, forever reacting to some crisis
racing towards you. You keep your radar in tip-top shape so you
can detect the first signs of the in-coming assault. You plan and
scheme and have contingencies for your contingencies. “If this
happens, then we do that, but if they do that, then we'll do this.”
And because you're always at the ready, waiting for that other
shoe to drop and kick you, you're never really alone.
18 SACRAMENTO LAWYER ■ MARCH/APRIL 2007
Retirement
I ask myself whether this could possibly be true; was my entire
legal career a reaction to some external stimulus? And I think the
answer is yes, always.
But now, it is very quiet around me. I am coming to the realization
that I can take action based entirely on the self-propelled
urge to take that very action-or not. To tell you the truth, it's a little
disorienting. When no one is demanding that I do something,
what should I do? Weird.
Isn't it funny how life periodically brings you around to
one question: what do you really want to do? My niece is
going through agony trying to pick her college major which
she believes must represent the ultimate expression of her
innermost desires. Maybe experience lets me be a little more
casual about the process, but I admit the question does have a
weight to it.
But the fun thing is that, unlike my niece, I get to answer without
any thought at all to actually making a living. In other words,
it doesn't matter if I'm any good at it; only if I want to do it, whatever
it is. I can do something at which I am so bad that strangers
will pity me for the humiliation they assume I must feel because
any reasonable person would. For me, now, failure is an option.
Heck it's inevitable.
While I'm ready and willing for the urge to strike, I admit so
far my muse has been pretty danged quiet. I guess whatever internal
mechanism lets ideas pop up is a little rusty but I'm encouraging
myself along. Maybe I should try a dance class again. I did
that once and the teacher commended me for my enthusiasm. I
am pretty sure I didn't go back after that. Now I am ready and
willing to go humiliate myself over and over
again until I get it right-ish, or to the point that
I satisfy my own very low standards. Maybe
something involving saws or open flames.
Anyhow, for now I am enjoying answering
the question, “What do you do” with “I'm not
sure yet.” Maybe I will say, “I'm a dancer.”
The possibilities are endless. Practicing life. I
repeat, it's cool.
Melissa Meith graduated from the University of
California, Davis School of Law in 1980. She practiced
law in Sacramento from 1980 until 2006 in
both private and public practice. At the time of her
retirement in 2006, she was the General Counsel of the California State
Lottery. Her work history includes stints as the executive officer of the
Lottery, the Director of the Office of Administrative Hearings, an Assistant
Chief Counsel with the Department of Corrections, and an Assistant Clerk
with the Department of Health Services. In July 2006, she moved to The
Sea Ranch, California, where she throws pots and takes walks with her
husband Mike White and the happy mutt brigade, Fred and Augie.