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One in every four people reading this article suffers from
it and four out of five americans will be affected by it.
The “it” would be brain disease, in the forms of anxiety,
depression, post traumatic stress, schizophrenia, and/or
bi-polar disorder, among others. The statistics come from the revealing
documentary, No Kidding, Me Too by film and television actor Joey
pantoliano. The hoboken native has more than one hundred feature
films under his belt, including Risky Business, The Goonies, The Fugitive,
Memento, and The Matrix, and it was his role as ralph Cifaretto on The
Sopranos that won him serious acclaim in the form of an emmy. yes, 60
year-old pantoliano, commonly referred to as “Joey pants”, has played
quite a few memorable characters in his career, but it was a real life role
that he found to be the most challenging of all.
“it began when i, myself, was diagnosed with clinical depression.
i made a film called Canvas. The project…brought me face to face
with my own mental disease. marcia gay harden was playing my
By Michelle Da w n Mo o n e y
The Reality That Bites Us All:
Joe Pantoliano On His Most Challenging Role
wife and was affected by (schizophrenia). The movie was...not
about the disease as much as what it does to a family, to a boy, to
a neighborhood, to a loving husband...and the different ranges of
emotion that go about,” described pantoliano.
For years, pantoliano knew he had been on an emotional roller
coaster, but what he didn’t know was why. From an eating disorder to
kleptomania, to alcohol and drugs, he had used a series of crutches to
deal with his depression, longing to find the antidote that could put
an end to his pain. Despite having a beautiful family and becoming a
top character actor in hollywood, Joey was still unable to fill the void.
“i thought i needed more success,” explained pantoliano. “i
didn’t have the right kinds of success and if i was able to accumulate
that type of success then of course these feelings would go away.”
but they didn’t. it wasn’t until Joey went for a routine physical
that he was put on the path to learning his diagnosis. his cholesterol
numbers were up despite following what he said was his normal
routine, so he was put on a statin, which required regular doctors
visits to monitor any ill effects on his liver and kidneys.
“i actually had just come back from Florida, where i was finishing
up on the movie, Canvas, and the doctor asked me how i was. i had lost
a lot of weight and i told him that i felt really as if i was walking through
water. i felt numb and i didn’t understand why. i was tired but i couldn’t
sleep. i wasn’t hungry and i couldn’t eat. he got it right away. he said,
“you know, i think you should talk to a psychiatrist.” so, i went and
talked with this psychiatrist and as soon as he said ‘it’s not your fault,’ i
was like wow...because that’s all i kept saying to myself was ‘shame on
you Joey for having these feelings…after all, every dream that you ever
had came true...so what was wrong with you?’”
euphoria is the term Joey uses to describe the moment he
learned that he suffered from brain disease, or bD, and more
importantly, that he wasn’t to blame. as he became more familiar with
mental illness and his own diagnosis, he was surprised to learn just
how many others were affected.
“That’s how we came up with the name, No Kidding, Me Too,
because people would see me in the airport and say, ‘hey Joey pants,
what you working on now?’ i’d say i’m doing this film with marcia
gay harden. it’s about what happens to a family when mental illness is
introduced into the family and people say, “no kidding, me too…my
brother’s bi-polar. no kidding, me too…my mother’s schizophrenic.”
in fact, 87 million people in the united states have been
diagnosed with some form of mental illness, yet Joey noted that there
was such a stigma about bD that few people seemed to be talking
about it. The realization prompted him to start the No Kidding, Me
Too charity to use his celebrity status, and that of his peers, to remove
the stigma surrounding mental illness and break down the social
barriers surrounding brain disease.
“The organization is a group of celebrity advocates using the
light of celebrity to shine onto the dark corners of bigotry, shame and
discrimination as it is pointed at mental disease.”
some of those darkest corners may be found in the throes of war.
as of 2009, there were 100,000 diagnosed cases of post traumatic
stress Disorder resulting from the wars in iraq and afghanistan. in
January of that same year, more u.s. military service members took
their own lives than were killed in combat in iraq and afghanistan.
Joey was able to visit both sights following the release of the No
Kidding, Me Too documentary in 2009, and was asked to show the
movie as many times as he could while he was there.
“while i was in iraq and afghanistan, i found out that the boys
that were killing themselves were first tour of duty between the
ages of 18 and 21, anglo-american…within the first 6 months of
deployment,” explained pantoliano.
The documentary cites a 2007 statistic from Veteran affairs that
says 18 of our american heroes commit suicide every day. Of those
who survive their tours, thousands are forced to face their biggest
battles when they come home, in the way of ptsD and traumatic
brain injuries or tbi’s.
may is mental health awareness month as well as the time of
year when we honor our brave men and women who have put their
lives on the line to preserve our freedom. among the two groups,
there are millions who are battling emotional and physical effects of
brain disease. whether it’s an overwhelming emptiness, as noted in
his latest book, asylum, or the grave feeling of despair from traumatic
flashbacks of war, Joey is dedicated to seeing that those who suffer
from brain disease are not alone in their fight.
“Our goal is to empower those with brain disease to admit their illness,
seek treatment and become even greater members of society.”
Where have I seen that guy before? The many faces of “Joey Pants”
“Guido,” the pimp in Risky Business
“francis fratelli” in The Goonies “eddie Moscone” in Midnight Run “cosmo renfro” in The Fugitive
40 | The Boardwalk Journal | May 2012 “caesar” in Bound “cypher” in The Matrix “Teddy Gammell” in Memento “ralph May 2012 cifaretto” | The Boardwalk on The Journal Sopranos | 41