Short Trips - The Doctor Who Audio Dramas

The Doctor chimed in. Charlie’s plan was as good as any, especially since he
couldn’t think of another one at the moment. ‘Quite so. As a matter of fact, we
were just on our way out,’ he said, guiding Charlie and Moira to the gap between
the newcomers and the lift. ‘So, if you don’t mind...’
Unfortunately, the fierce-looking band did mind, in particular the huge
hulking member at the back in the badge-covered dark jacket. He slammed out a
tree-trunk-like arm across the corridor, barring the time travelers’ path.
‘Watch your step,’ the mercenary growled.
His comrades began to circle around the trio like a pack of mangy, desperate
hounds, containing them in smaller and smaller circles until the trio were forced
back-to-back in the middle of the corridor.
‘Thank you Edge,’ the leader said to the giant. ‘I apologize for the
inconvenience, my friends,’ he continued, reedy voice dripping with insincerity,
‘but I’m afraid you’ll have to be our guests here for the time being.’
‘Oh, don’t say that like it’s a bad thing!’ tutted the brunette woman, giving a
disturbingly predatory look at the Doctor and Charlie.
‘Knock it off, Miranda,’ the leader told her wearily.
Miranda rolled her eyes, then blew the Doctor a kiss. The Time Lord was not
amused, and nor were her fellows. A stocky, purple-haired bandit with an
artificial eye and a bandolier of ammunition glanced at the leader. ‘Where to,
Captain?’ he asked.
The captain covered his eyes with his hand in exaggerated despair. ‘The flight
deck, Trigger,’ he sighed. ‘Where else?’
Trigger didn’t seem interested in the captain’s theatrics and strode down the
corridor and into the bridge. Edge lumbered after him, as did Miranda. The
captain turned to address his remaining crew member, a dark skinned woman in a
combat suit with her black hair razor-cut to outline her skull. ‘Look after these
three would you, Jab?’ he asked, tossing his rifle towards her.
Quicker than the eye could follow, Jab had the rifle in left hand and, together
with the blaster she was already carrying in her left, pointed at the trio while the
captain joined the others on the bridge. She waved the handgun, herding the time
travelers after him. ‘Is that really necessary?’ asked the Doctor impatiently.
Jab adjusted her aim, so the gun barrel was pointed right between his eyes.
Moira sighed. ‘Apparently so.’
They returned to the bridge and saw the captain bowing low before the
decayed corpse in the pilot’s chair. ‘Excuse me, my good sir,’ he said politely,
before roughly shoving the body out of the seat. It hit the deck with a wet slap as
the captain took the vacated chair and began to study the low console in front of
him. ‘You accessed the library yet, Trigger?’ he asked lightly, making it clear the
wrong answer would not please him.
The mercenary seemed determined to displease his leader. ‘Not yet. How old is
this freighter anyway?’ he complained. ‘I’ve never seen controls like this before...’
In the doorway, the Doctor shook his head. ‘Dear me,’ he sighed pityingly. ‘You
are very bad at this, aren’t you?’
‘Shut your mouth!’ Edge rumbled dangerously as he loomed over them.