Short Trips - The Doctor Who Audio Dramas

painted a bull’s eye on my face and a note stuck to my back saying ‘‘EAT ME!’’ This
is so, so unfair...’
Landon was leaning against the TARDIS, bored. ‘You wouldn’t be registering a
protest of some kind would you, Dillion?’ he asked wearily.
‘Would I? Yes, I suppose I would. I’ll stay here and keep watch with you.’
Landon rolled his eyes. ‘As long as you do it in silence.’
‘That could get very boring.’
‘Which is a risk that I am prepared to take.’
‘All right, you can do the talking.’
Landon frowned. ‘Talking? Talking about what?’
‘Well,’ Dillion suggested, ‘you could always tell me about you?’
Landon’s expression remained impassive. ‘Me?’ he repeated dully.
‘Yeah. You know, I’ve always wanted to ask -- just what is ‘‘Landon’’ short for?
Cause you Time Lords all have those ridiculously long and complicated names as
part of your society and everything...’
‘Society? Society?’ Landon was disgusted by the term. ‘You know nothing
about my society, or the world that formed it!’
Dillion leaned forward with an eager grin. ‘So tell me.’
‘Tell you?’ Landon jeered. ‘As if I could simplify anything to the degree needed
for a stupid ape like you to understand! You think a Time Lord is just some
ceremonial robes and an aloof manner?’
‘Be fair, there’s not much evidence to the contrary.’
‘A single Time Lord is so much more than you or your entire species could ever
achieve!’ Landon shouted, losing his temper. ‘A sum of coded knowledge with a
shared history, a shared suffering that you’d go insane just trying to understand!’
‘Oh, who are you trying to impress?’ Dillion demanded. ‘Seriously?’
‘‘‘Seriously’’ not you!’ the Gallifreyan ranted, jabbing Dillion in the shoulder
with one bony finger. ‘That’d imply I respected your opinion!’
‘No, that’d imply you respected anything!’ Dillion ranted right back at him. The
Canisan was a calm and relaxed individual, but once he finally lost his temper, it
always took a while to find it again. ‘Look at you -- a glorified parole officer who
stands around trying to deal with the fact you’re not only surplus to requirements
but also unable to relate to the universe you’re convinced you’re better than! No
wonder you spend all day every day belittling everyone else, you’ve clearly got
some huge and crippling insecurity complex.’
Landon’s eyes widened. ‘How dare you...’ he began.
Dillion didn’t let him finish. ‘Well, Landon, take this from someone who’s
actually been out in the universe -- because that universe never owed you a living
and it never will.’
For a long moment, there was silence between the two of them.
‘At least I don’t talk too much,’ said Landon, examining his fingernails.
‘Right that does it,’ Dillion muttered quietly, turning on his heel and striding
down the tunnel in the opposite direction to the one the others had taken. Landon
gave a sarcastic parting wave to the Canisian as he disappeared into the gloom.