SC Queimarla SC Queimarla - The Coastal Passage Home Page
SC Queimarla SC Queimarla - The Coastal Passage Home Page
SC Queimarla SC Queimarla - The Coastal Passage Home Page
You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles
YUMPU automatically turns print PDFs into web optimized ePapers that Google loves.
Pirates!<br />
Don't Tell Grandma!<br />
Words by Kim Kenyon, 'ex” SY shouts and confusion, as a panga (a was one panicky eternity. Heartbeat<br />
Orianne, now SY Karaka long fishing dinghy) with large after heartbeat in the darkness of<br />
engines, packed full of angry men in the locker. I didn't know where the<br />
I think my life is like a Quentin ripped and dirty shirts careened shots were coming from; I'd lost my<br />
Tarantino movie. Or at least the away with the coast guard in hot sense of direction. Were they<br />
boat's is. A little bit of background: pursuit. And although it was late coming from the marina? Was that a<br />
afternoon, dear readers, my day was crew-mate screaming? I couldn't<br />
This year my partner Tom almost just beginning. stand it. I couldn't just wait there to<br />
died after being mauled by a die. I would get off this boat (cue<br />
barracuda on a deserted island in Shotguns and machine guns rang movie music), and I would swim if I<br />
Cuba. A few months and many out. My heart stopped. Frozen for had to.<br />
operations later we sailed into, and<br />
straight out of, an open sea drug<br />
chase in Isla Providencia, Colombia.<br />
Further south, we were surrounded<br />
by four high speed boats at deep<br />
sea, packed full of balaclavaed men<br />
pretending to fish. Although we<br />
thought we were done for, we<br />
motored through with no hassles,<br />
and cracked pirate jokes all<br />
afternoon. Only to be attacked by<br />
real life pirates of the Caribbean a<br />
few hours later. <strong>The</strong>y boarded with<br />
guns and machetes, tied us up in the<br />
light of a blood red, rising full moon,<br />
took control of the boat and<br />
ransacked it in the entrance to the<br />
harbour in Cartagena, Colombia.<br />
Oh boy, it gets better. <strong>The</strong>n we<br />
sailed to Haiti. Two days later we<br />
felt the tremors of the devastating<br />
earthquake that eventually killed<br />
200 000 Haitians. After donating all<br />
we had, it became increasingly clear<br />
we needed to leave. We kept double<br />
watches and sailed without running<br />
lights in the dead of a dark night<br />
with all ears tuned for engines as we<br />
made a dash for Jamaica. We later<br />
heard reports of thousands of boats<br />
fleeing the country and terrifying<br />
tales of yachts encountering Haitian<br />
pirates or running aground in front<br />
of villages. Although we made it to<br />
Port Antonio, Jamaica, safe and<br />
sound, pirates and refugees were on<br />
our minds. You know what, it had<br />
been one hell of year.<br />
So, a week later...<br />
I was alone on the boat. Sitting in<br />
late afternoon sunlight, a cake in the<br />
oven, doing dishes on the deck and<br />
singing to myself. Birds flew<br />
through rainclouds that sit on top of<br />
Port Antonio like great big gods in<br />
the sky, and the fishing boats were<br />
heading home.<br />
All of a sudden a Coast Guard boat<br />
nosed out of the harbour, throttled<br />
up and veered to shore. <strong>The</strong>re were<br />
seconds above my dishes, I<br />
scampered inside, mumbling<br />
frantically to myself as I peeked out<br />
the porthole. <strong>The</strong> chase was on. It<br />
seemed as if two of the coast guards<br />
had been hurt. While the fishing<br />
boat had landed on the Errol Flynn<br />
Island just across the way, and its'<br />
bandido crew were making a stand<br />
on the dock, shirtless and shooting<br />
fast and hard. <strong>The</strong>n I heard a<br />
grenade.<br />
I couldn't take it. I was frightened<br />
and furious and sick to death of<br />
being in life threatening situations. I<br />
shut the hatches and windows and<br />
bunkered down inside. <strong>The</strong> shooting<br />
got closer. A new boat had joined<br />
and was venturing dangerously close<br />
to our own. I crouched next to the<br />
oven, absentmindedly checked on<br />
my cake and wonder if this was it.<br />
<strong>The</strong> end of the line for Kim Kenyon…<br />
I reflected. I had no dinghy, I<br />
couldn't get to shore. We were the<br />
furthest boat from land. Not a soul<br />
was home on the other yachts. It<br />
suddenly became a remote but<br />
frightening possibility that these gun<br />
toting bandits might use Karaka as a<br />
shield between them. What if they<br />
came on board? Oh boy, the<br />
gunshots sounded closer.<br />
By this time I was getting frantic,<br />
time to turn off the oven and look for<br />
a hiding place. Under a bunk? Too<br />
obvious. In a cupboard? <strong>The</strong>y<br />
might check. I decided on the big<br />
locker in the v-berth. It looked like<br />
a flush wall, but was a deep well full<br />
of gear. I dug out some wetsuits,<br />
clambered in, layered an old<br />
spinnaker on top, shut the door, and,<br />
with my ear to the hull... waited,<br />
sweltered and prayed.<br />
Sounds were distorted. I could<br />
hear constant gunfire. Engines<br />
came closer and careened away. I<br />
thought I heard someone scream. It<br />
I got out of the steamy locker and<br />
peeked through the window. Masses<br />
of people lined the shore watching<br />
the chase. <strong>The</strong> boats were back<br />
over near the island, though still<br />
doing loops that took them 50 foot<br />
from our boat as they reloaded their<br />
guns and headed back for more. I<br />
decided to take a risk. If I could get<br />
out of the boat without being seen,<br />
and swim the mile to shore, I would<br />
be fine, right? .... right? <strong>The</strong>y<br />
weren't heading that close. Yet.<br />
I went into panic mode. Found the<br />
closest bathing suit I could find (it<br />
happened to be a 1950's polka<br />
dotted swimsuit complete with frilly<br />
skirt) and commenced evasive<br />
action. I stealth climbed out of that<br />
front hatch, “commando rolled” to<br />
the bow of the boat and monkeyed<br />
my way clumsily down the anchor<br />
chain, landing in a polka dotted and<br />
entirely ungraceful splash. Once in<br />
the water, I held my breath, dove<br />
deep and swam like a maniac.<br />
Half way, I surfaced, only to see<br />
them heading straight towards me at<br />
high speed. I ducked under and just<br />
about killed myself making a last<br />
dash for the safety of shore. I may<br />
have big feet, but I sure ain't Ian<br />
Thorpe. As I coughed up a lung, and<br />
left it bobbing in my wake, I vowed<br />
never to smoke Marlboro reds again.<br />
Finally, red faced, straggle haired<br />
and limp frilled, my bathing suit and<br />
I made it to the dock.<br />
Praise cheeses, I was safe. I<br />
clambered up and staggered through<br />
the screaming masses. My eyes were<br />
crazed, and my chest was heaving.<br />
It was like this; unable to talk for<br />
the sheer act of breathing, that my<br />
local friends found me. “What you<br />
doin' swimmin' to shore in that crazy<br />
swimsuit mon! Don't you know that<br />
the Coast Guard are doing their<br />
military training over on the island?!”<br />
Pirate survivor, Kim Kenyon<br />
Do you laugh or cry? I am officially<br />
a fool. We went back to the boat,<br />
turned the oven back on, and poured<br />
a stiff drink as we laughed the night<br />
away imagining the sight of a<br />
commando rolling blond in a 50's<br />
polka dotted bathing suit. My life<br />
might be like a Quetin Tarantino<br />
movie, but don't tell grandma, hey?<br />
KIM'S COMANDO CAKE<br />
Preheat oven to 350F or 180C.<br />
Cream 1 stick of butter with one cup<br />
of sugar.<br />
Add 2 lightly beaten eggs,<br />
2-3 mushy bananas,<br />
2 finely grated carrots, a handful of<br />
nuts or sunflower seeds with pinches<br />
of vanilla, nutmeg, cinnamon and<br />
cloves.<br />
Dissolve 1 tsp baking soda in 2tbs of<br />
milk.<br />
Add to mix.<br />
Sift 250g, plain flour with 2 tsp<br />
baking powder (you can substitute ¼<br />
of this amount with shredded<br />
coconut, oats or rye flour).<br />
Mix all ingredients well, until the<br />
mixture is bubbly and drips slowly<br />
off the mixing spoon.<br />
Pour into a greased cake tin and<br />
place in a moderate oven.<br />
<strong>The</strong>n halfway through, have the<br />
scare of your life.<br />
Turn off the oven and run away.<br />
Come back a while later, when all is<br />
safe, cook cake for 40-45 minutes,<br />
and serve with a very stiff drink of<br />
Appleton rum. Maybe a cigar. Here's<br />
to you and your commando cake!<br />
Cruise the Whitsundays<br />
Charter a luxury Sailing Catamaran<br />
“Razzle Dazzle” - Fusion 40<br />
other vessels also available<br />
Fall Specials for 2012 available now<br />
www.whitsundaycharterboats.com.au<br />
WHITSUNDAY LUXURY CATAMARANS<br />
email: sales@luxurycats.com.au Ph: 07 4947 1653 Mob: 0408 553 005<br />
FOR DIESEL BUG BUSTER CALL:<br />
www.fueltreat.com.au<br />
1800 034 442<br />
Contact David: solutions@fueltreat.com.au<br />
Don’t accept any “Fuel Treatment”. <strong>The</strong>y are not all the same!!!<br />
Ask for FUELTREAT BC250 or FT400.<br />
Available through the following stockists:<br />
Townsville: (07) 4721 5588 (Reliance Oil) Cairns: (07) 4035 2538 (MTUDDA)<br />
Darwin: (08) 8947 0233 (AFD, Winnellie) Townsville: (07) 4774 4977 (MTUDDA)<br />
Brisbane: (07) 3899 5555 (Pacific Petroleum) Mackay: (07) 4952 2122 (MTUDDA)<br />
Brisbane: (07) 3877 6060 (MTUDDA) Bowen: (07) 4786 1954 (Reliance Oil)<br />
Gold Coast: (07) 5588 1900 (MTUDDA)<br />
Martin Vives photo