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PATHways Newsletter.pub - NAMI

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August/September 2010 <strong>NAMI</strong> Queens/Nassau <strong>PATHways</strong> Page 8<br />

By JOHN WAGNER<br />

I had participated in <strong>NAMI</strong>Walks in the past. I had received at<br />

least a half dozen emails dating back to October 2009 inviting<br />

me to participate in the May 23, 2010 event to be<br />

held at Jones Beach. I saved the emails, intending to<br />

get involved somewhere along the line. But as happens<br />

from time to time in almost everyone’s life,<br />

there seemed to be too much on my plate during the<br />

late winter and spring of 2010 for me to take on anything<br />

else. The country’s economic downturn, the<br />

pressure, stress and time constraints of trying to do<br />

my job (I’m a lawyer in a small law firm), maintain<br />

my house (mow the lawn, prune the bushes and trees,<br />

vacuum the rugs, mop the floors, pay the bills), and<br />

attend to my various family and civic responsibilities<br />

(I have a mother who needs some help, an immediate<br />

family member who is mentally ill, and I volunteer<br />

some of my time to work on village matters), left me<br />

tired, frustrated, and a bit angry at how my life was<br />

proceeding. A series of unanticipated events in mid-May found<br />

me frantic in my efforts to take care of other people, to help them<br />

deal with critical situations. This was mostly thankless work<br />

which had to be done, and with no one else to do it, I trudged<br />

forward, spreading myself thin, wondering whether I was accomplishing<br />

anything positive for my efforts, and more exhausted<br />

than ever.<br />

Someone told me I needed to get away and recharge my batteries,<br />

or at least I should take a day or two and do something for<br />

myself. I just couldn’t see how this was possible—there was just<br />

too much to do and not enough time within which to do it. Then,<br />

on Thursday May 20, when I was on the verge of pulling out<br />

what few hairs I have left on my head, I received an email from<br />

Kristi Galvani, my local Walk manager, reminding me that there<br />

were only a few days left before the Jones Beach event. Within<br />

minutes of receiving Kristi’s email, I received a phone call from<br />

my friend and neighbor, Mitch Cooper, who had supported my<br />

walks for <strong>NAMI</strong> in the past. “What’s the deal?” asked Mitch.<br />

“Are you walking this year or what? Because if you’re walking,<br />

you know we want to support you.”<br />

Suddenly, it seemed so clear. I knew what I needed to do. I<br />

needed to do something that I wanted to do, not something I had<br />

to do; something for myself; something that would make me feel<br />

good about me. “Yeah,” I told Mitch, “I think I’m gonna walk<br />

this year.” Everything else would have to wait.<br />

“Why don’t you wait ‘til the last minute?” asked Mitch with<br />

more than a little sarcasm in his voice. “Just send me the information<br />

and I’ll make a donation.”<br />

They were waiting for me. My friends, colleagues and relatives<br />

knew that I had walked for the cause in the past, and they<br />

were waiting for me to sign up and walk again for something that<br />

meant something to me, something important, very important.<br />

They knew how much mental illness in my family had reshaped<br />

my life. They knew about the stigma which I always decried.<br />

They knew because they saw it. They knew because I told them.<br />

They Were Waiting for Me<br />

They wanted to support me and my cause, <strong>NAMI</strong>. They were<br />

waiting for me, and I wasn’t doing my piece.<br />

I immediately signed up to walk and sent out a bunch of<br />

emails, with a slightly modified version of one of<br />

the letters Kristi had sent to me. Inasmuch as there<br />

were only 2 ½ days left before the event, I set a very<br />

low target for myself and tried to pick carefully<br />

those to whom I would send my emails—caring,<br />

sensitive and fearless people, people who knew me,<br />

people who I believed could afford to stand with me.<br />

The response was immediate and, to me, overwhelming.<br />

Mitch Cooper wasn’t even the first to<br />

make a contribution, and he was waiting for me.<br />

Some of the donations were accompanied by notes<br />

of encouragement and respect; others were anonymous.<br />

With each responsive email that I opened, I<br />

was touched and, well, I got a little emotional.<br />

The day of the walk was perfect—just enough<br />

cloud cover to keep it comfortable for the hundreds,<br />

make that thousands, who met at the boardwalk, stretched out,<br />

and walked. A few of my friends met me in the parking lot and<br />

walked with me. Imagine my surprise and delight when I<br />

bumped into my own son, his girlfriend, and another of his<br />

friends, who were walking for the cause. I felt great, and I was<br />

proud of what I had done. I managed to raise over $3,200 for the<br />

cause in just a few days.<br />

All I had to do was ask. They were waiting for me.<br />

<strong>NAMI</strong>Walks feedback...<br />

(Continued from page 7)<br />

medication and/or therapy, people with mental illness live<br />

quite functional and healthy lives.<br />

This was my third year with <strong>NAMI</strong>Walks. Our Jamaica<br />

Hospital Medical Center team grew each year, and we raised<br />

more than $3000 this year. The Grand Round that I conducted,<br />

together with seventeen patients in Jamaica Hospital<br />

Medical Center, highlighted the patients’ creativity and talents.<br />

Patients read their poems and essays, sang songs, performed<br />

comedy and puppet shows and presented their art<br />

work. I saw the tears in the audience when the author of an<br />

essay said, "If you have to label me something, how about<br />

‘human being’."<br />

Next year my team will walk again and use this quote from<br />

a patient on our banner.<br />

Reach across your family and friends,<br />

Reach across your neighborhood,<br />

Reach across your faith community and social<br />

networks,<br />

Reach across your office,<br />

Stand up and say,<br />

“I am supporting the <strong>NAMI</strong> Walk—a community<br />

walk to fight against the stigma of mental illness.

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