July/August 2010 - Dogs Naturally Magazine

something. But it's apparent, that my dog has banned my wife
to the kitchen, in order that she can take over this dominant
function. This has caused countless "discussions" between my
wife and I - and tears. But we have been able to strike a compromise.
I will not kiss my dog on the mouth any more and will
wash my hands and face before kissing my wife. I try ignoring
my dog when I come home, but that simply doesn't work. She
just follows me everywhere I go, sometimes running up ahead
of me, for example on the stairs. The more I tried to keep her
behind me, the more excited she becomes. And of course my
wife hollers down "If you would ignore the dog, maybe she'd
stop pestering you. And why should you deal with her before
even saying hello to me?" So I had a choice. Either keep peace
with my wife and ignore my dog in her attempt to dominate me
or accept the fact that she'd already dominated my wife and
ignore that in favor of trying to first greet my dominated wife,
thus not allowing my dog to dominate me. These dogs can put
you in an untenable position. I guess that's part of their plan.
“Her seemingly sweet demeanor and wagging
Retriever tail is obviously just a ruse for
a plotting, scheming canine version of the
next military K9 junta, just waiting to lay
claim to the leadership of our pack. “
One aspect where my dog has completed her move to take over
domination of her humans is how she will lay down on our feet,
taking over our space, claiming her rule-of-dog. Now she doesn't
do this all the time, but does whenever the fancy strikes her,
whether we want this or not. We've of course given in lock,
stock and barrel to this overt domination, so much so that we
do not wear slippers any more in the winter, knowing that may
dog will claim her rightful spot on our feet. Frankly, this doesn't
really bother us much, especially in the winter in the kitchen/
dining area where we have stone floors. But it is of course the
idea of allowing her to dominate us and claim a piece of our
space that needs to be noticed here.
I'm sure, if our furniture were more comfortable for her, she
would try to show her dominance over us in this respect also,
but she's never shown any inclination to get up on the sofa, my
office chair, the dining room chairs or the junk-chair (I suppose
you have one too, a chair that just seems to fill up with all sorts
of junk that has no other place in the house) by the door. She
also has never shown any inclination to counter-surf or beg at
the table. I suppose that's because in order to fulfill her domination
over us, we see that she has her own place by the ta-
ble or the sofa near us at all times which she can use to keep a
watchful eye on us. To appease her dominating character, we
will occasionally give her a pig's ear or ostrich tendon while
we're eating and that seems to give us a break from her ironpawed
rule of the house. Strangely enough, when we're on
trips, she's never tried to claim a spot on the hotel bed. Maybe
she'd prefer sheets and blankets to the usual Nordic bed coverings?
We count ourselves lucky here.
She has shown however some cracks and inconsistencies in her
drive to take over the alpha of our pack. One such area is playtime.
There seems to be no pattern to when she wants to play
and when she doesn't. In fact, she's always up for a long game
of tug. I suppose if we always gave in to her she'd try to expand
this dominating behavior to Checkers, Monopoly (what would
be more natural for practicing the domination of the world except
for Sim City?) or even Chess. We did see a film of one lady
who taught her dogs to play chess with her dogs, but we've
been warned not to even entertain the idea of this, in as much
as chess is THE game for aspiring socially upwardly mobile dogs,
looking for any way to take over control. We've also only ever
played poker, cribbage and (yes, I admit it) Masters of the Universe
when she's been asleep in her bed in her room (well, it's
actually the stair well next to my office, but we call it her room).
We have been able to hold her blatant dominating scheming in
this area at bay. So it's a small price to pay, to play tug with her
sock - used to be my sock, but she claims them, when they get
holes in them. I wonder how the holes get in them ….
As you can see, we're fighting an up-hill battle on all fronts with
my dog. Her seemingly sweet demeanor and wagging Retriever
tail is obviously just a ruse for a plotting, scheming canine version
of the next military K9 junta, just waiting to lay claim to the
leadership of our pack. We've been able to work out our compromises,
but we feel we need help to reclaim our house and
family.
Born 1952, Swindon GB, raised in San Francisco, living in Switzerland
since 1977. After escaping high school in San Francisco,
he completed a Bachelors of Music Education. He's now an IT-
Geek at the University of Zürich.
Although he grew up with dogs, the first dog he really trained
(Luna, a Greater Swiss Mountain Dog mix) was in Switzerland,
using "balanced" methods. His present dog, Vela (a Flat-Coated
Retriever) changed his life due to her reactivity. After tossing
everything he thought he knew about dog training and starting
anew in order to help her, he is now enrolled at James O'Heare's
CASI and is preparing to do dog training and behavior modification
when he retires in 3-4 years.
www.dogsnaturallymagazine.com July/August 2010 | 61