MODULE 4 TELEVISION TRANSCRIPTS - That's English JR

George Isn't that exciting? You have a lifetime to get to
know all my dark secrets.
Rosie What dark secrets?
George I was joking.
Rosie What happened to your last girlfriend?
George She left.
Rosie Why did she leave you?
George Oh, I don't know. She didn't like my cooking.
Rosie Did you try to poison her?
George No, I did not.
Rosie What happened?
George She got bored with me.
Rosie What happened to her?
George She took off with an airline pilot. She took off with
an ...
Rosie You're always laughing and joking. I don't trust
you, George. You're too happy.
George Well, I haven't always been happy. When I was a
child, I was very small. I was very sensitive about
my height. At school, the other children laughed at
me. They were very insensitive. Ha, ha, ha, look at
George. He has a funny face.
Rosie Oh, no! That's terrible!
George Well, I told them jokes. I made them laugh. They
laughed at my jokes. I was always a clown. You
see, although I'm quite extrovert, I’m really quite
shy. Then, when I was twenty-one, I got serious. I
was serious about finding a job, I was serious about
finding a girlfriend. Then, one day, I met a girl
called Margaret. She liked me and she didn’t laugh
at me. We went everywhere together. I was in love.
Then, one day I was combing my hair in the mirror.
I saw my hair was coming out. Within a few
months, I’d lost most of my hair.
Rosie You poor man!
George Margaret said it wasn’t important, but I was so
embarrassed, I stopped going out with her. But now
I don’t worry about what people think of me. It’s
not important. It’s what I feel that’s important. And
I feel great. What about you? Did you have a happy
childhood?
Rosie Yes ... no ... I don’t know, George. I don’t want to
talk about myself.
George Ooh! You are in a bad mood. The food won’t taste
as good if you’re in a bad mood.
Rosie I’m sorry.
George Are we going to have out first fight?
***
George What’s the matter?
Rosie George, do you believe in astrology?
George A little bit.
Rosie Read this.
George Yes?
Rosie George, what is your dark secret?
George My dark secret is ... I’m an Aries.
Rosie An Aries! Valerie said you were a Scorpio.
George She was wrong. I was born on April the first. April
Fool’s Day!
B ALL ABOUT YOU
Street interviews
Joni I’ve got a good sense of humour, but my one fault is
that I’m always late, and my friends get very angry
with me, but when I do arrive, we always have a
good time.
Fraser I’m friendly with a good sense of humour, but ...
I’m a bit lazy.
Mark I’ve got a good sense of humour, I’m patient, but I
can be stubborn.
Robin I’m a bit serious, and very moody.
Don’t make me laugh!
Danny Thank you. Thank you very much. I have a friend.
He is so boring. He never stops talking about
himself. I hate people who talk about themselves all
the time. Don’t you? Yes, I like people who talk
about me. I’m so interesting and other people are so
uninteresting. Don’t you think so? In fact, I’m so
interesting I like to talk to myself. Can I tell you a
story about myself? I had to go and see the doctor
last week. He told me I ought to give up drinking
whisky. He said it could become a habit. I said, ‘I
don’t think so, I've been drinking whisky for twenty
years now'. OK. OK. Maybe I do drink too much,
but I drink because I have a problem. What's my
problem? I drink too much. Oh, I like the old jokes.
But I'm not really a drinker, ladies and gentlemen.
No, no. I only drink when I'm with someone ... or
when I'm alone. Thanks very much. That's all from
me.
The ad spot
Although you are a nice person, are you really quite shy?
Although you are a kind person, can you be firm when you
want to? Are you a weakling? Someone with no friends? A
sad person? When you go to the beach, do all the girls laugh
unkindly at you? Do impolite young men kick sand in your
face? Are you sensitive? Do you get upset? Yes, I think so.
You can't call a policeman. You can't write a letter to the
newspaper. People will still laugh at you and kick sand in your
face. OK, you have no muscles, so buy the new Muscles
Work-Out Machine from That's English! Just five minutes a
day with the new Muscles Work-Out Machine and you will be
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grow bigger. Watch as you become stronger than Superman!
When you're trying to read a book, do people bother you with
unintelligent questions? Do they ... the new Muscles
Work-Out Machine from That's English! Ahhh!
Street interviews
Joni I think my friends see me as somebody who's good
fun - I like to have a laugh. I'm always late, but for
the really important things I'll be there - I'm reliable.
Mark What? ... My wife thinks I never listen to her.
Robin Some people see me as a bit of a clown, but
generally people like me.
Fraser I think sometimes people think I'm a bit noisy, but
they usually laugh at my jokes.
Mark People think I'm friendly ... sociable ... but I can be