The Sin 'Zine-#5-Wrath - Middlespace

But the incident she had described to her father was much more serious, and one that I still
have no recollection of. She claimed that at one point I attempted to rape her. I probably did
get a little too close and a little too rough—but I would never hurt her. I was simply a horny 13year-old
boy.
Word spread throughout the neighborhood and even the adults that should have known
better looked at me like I was a predator. It was a bit terrifying and overwhelming to say the
least. It hurt, I wasn't a criminal or a hoodlum, I was a nice kid. I have always been a weirdo, I
mean really, what straight 13-year-old boys do impressions of Buddy from "Kids/Hall"? But for
the most part I was a decent kid, I always respected her and didn't deserve the ire that was
directed at me.
The drama blew over and we became make-out buddies, but 14-year-old girls aren't much
saner than their year-younger selves. Starting high school a year ahead of me meant a new
boyfriend who she didn't tell me about. I didn't know it was over until she tricked me into a
fight with her new beau and his friend. It wasn't really a fight. They just yelled and posed and
threw my skateboard across the street and told me that she was his now. There was no
bloodshed but it still hurt. (She also let my cuter cousin finger-bang her when we were still
going steady.)
Understandably, these experiences shaped a view of women and dating that isn't all that
positive. As fun as they are to look at, it was always safest to remember that women are crazy,
manipulative, scary and overall not really to be trusted. I tell this middle-school tale of woe to
friends, they tell me it was a long time ago, but this idea was formed at a time when the brain
matter is still developing, hence it has been festering in my sub-consciousness and has been
cock-blocking me all my life.
I think it's weird when men call themselves 'feminists'. I could never call myself that, not
because I'm male, but because the impression I get from that ideology is that my evolutionary
quest for biological affirmation (i.e. muff) is something to be either to be feared (Andrea "All
Sex Is Rape" Dworkin) or something to be taken advantage of (Camille Paglia). Honestly, I've
never read either Dworkin or Paglia so my simplification of their philosophies isn't fair, but with
so many ugly dykes adamantly against my favorite hobby, jerking off to porn, I have no
sympathy for their cause.
Though heterosexual feminists may say they like "caring and nurturing" types (see 'pussies'), but
they really don't respect them. What I find most satisfying is scoring flirtation from a feminist
whose bearded boyfriend/fuck buddy/friend-boy/male peon calls himself by that same
name. It's funny watching the looks on their faces, the simmering jealousy and resentment, but
too stuck in an ideology to acknowledge their true feelings. It IS actually is a woman
mistreating them. Now you feel what I feel, and that makes me feel good.
Me: (petting heavily) "What's he so mad about? Is he your
boyfriend?"
The Mistress: "Oh No. He's a privileged white male, he's got nothing to
be angry about"
Yeah, it happened.
The Sin ‘Zine – Ira – 28