Odyssey magazine. - Noble Caledonia

DISCOVER
MEKONG
MIGHTY
MEKONG
The northern stretch of Asia’s great artery makes for
one of the most glorious and otherworldly cruises in
the world, writes Ian Belcher
It’s the green that strikes you most.
Fifty, perhaps 100 shades. An
intoxicating palate – everything
from emerald to petit pois to a rich
Farrow & Ball tone – blending with
the muscular goulash of surging
water and tropical breeze to induce
deep serenity. A cruise along the Mekong in
northern Thailand and Laos is more than
simply relaxing: it is decompression from our
manic, over-stimulated 21st-century lives.
The Mekong deserves an air of hushed
reverence. The tenth-longest waterway on
earth, it’s immortalised in literature – notably
John Swain’s River
of Time – and
worshipped as
‘the mother of
rivers’. A major
south-east Asian
artery, it’s a font of trade, food, bathing and
legend including the Ngeuak serpent who
feasts on drowning victims.
After a dramatic week in western China –
Kunming’s Stone Forest of limestone karsts,
ancient monasteries and the world’s deepest
river gorge – the tour reaches the Mekong.
We’re in the heart of the Golden Triangle, the
cloud-shrouded peaks linking Laos, Thailand
and Burma, long associated with poppy
farming. It’s our chance to visit the Hall of
Opium, the educational arm of a campaign by
the Thai royals to promote less controversial
crops and handicrafts, the fi rst memorable
excursion during this seven-night cruise.
In the Hall’s extraordinary 137m-long
entrance tunnel, ghastly faces reminiscent
of Edvard Munch’s Scream, agonised
skeletons and grimly contorted torsos set a
suitably hallucinogenic tone. For the next
two hours a series of fi lms and stunning
interactive exhibits take me on a wild trip
with drug-addicted Roman nobles, American
intellectuals and stoned Indian war elephants.
It’s a quite brilliant, bizarre, dizzying museum.
But surreal sights aren’t limited to the Hall
of Opium. Across the water from our launch
point near Chiang Saen, a massive golddomed
Chinese casino resembles a little piece
of Shanghai plonked in the jungle. And just
a short while later at Ban Huay Xay – the
Laos port on the border with Thailand – stalls
groan with bottles
containing snakes
and scorpions
pickled in bottles
of murky whisky.
According to their
labels they’re an antidote to ‘rheumatism,
lumbago and sweating of limbs’, not a claim
you’re likely to hear from Glenfi ddich.
It’s pretty strange at water level too. The
river is famed for giant catfi sh up to four
metres long. Some tourists are donning
motorcycle helmets before climbing onto
long-tail speedboats. These motorised
surfboards with seats have a terrible
safety record and whine like high-decibel
mosquitoes… but they’ll complete our mellow
three-day journey in six buttock-numbing
hours. No, thank you.
Other Mekong traffi c is a little less Top
Gear. Traditional wooden slow boats, with
long shady cabins, are crammed with locals,
chickens, backpackers and sacks of cargo.
Boys stand on their prows with long
Travel writer IAN BELCHER has fl oated
along many of the world’s rivers in his time,
but rates his trip down the Mekong as one
of the highlights of his working life
WANT
TO SEE...
more photos of the Mekong
Sun and the dramatic
scenery you could admire
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22 ODYSSEY AUTUMN/WINTER 2011-2012 WWW.NOBLE-CALEDONIA.CO.UK