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A hitchhiker’s guide to peeing in the street by Ankit BhArdwAj, photo by dAn SELjAk Public urination is a rite of passage in any city. The tribulations, and eventual catharsis, speak a lot to the place you’re in: its culture, its infrastructure, and its cleanliness. Though the reason and location of one’s public peeing may differ on every occasion, they are normally coupled with a hilarity that is characteristic of the activity. These are some of my experiences. Tokyo, 2010 Finding a place to relieve yourself on New Year’s Eve in Tokyo is quite the undertaking. Bars are packed and the streets are brimming with police trying to maintain order. We somehow found our way onto an abandoned rooftop and proceeded to break our seals. Yet our streams of ecstasy were met with shouts of anger and confusion. Under the seemingly nondescript pile of cardboard where we were emptying our tanks was one of Tokyo’s many homeless men. The relaxing waterfall-esque soundscape of our coordinated streams struck a sharp contrast to his bellows of fury. There is little you can do when you’re drunk with your pants down and a man starts chasing you, so we apologized profusely, bowed (it’s Japan after all), and ran. Toronto, 2011 It was that time of year when everyone was running around campus doing things that can only be described as stupid. Ah yes, Frosh Week. It was an average enough night, but it became a night forever committed to my memory when my friend said he had to urinate near Trinity. I can’t explain it — it might have been the Frosh mentality, divine intervention, or just similar minds — but a smirk took hold of all our faces. We had to (before the sun came up) pee on all the colleges. It was a night when we drank not to get drunk, but to pee. Other urination milestones • Across provincial, national, or continental borders such as Ottawa-Gatineau, Paso del Norte, or Istanbul • After a pilgrimage, if such a thing exists, to Mannenken Pis, Brussels • Off Mt. Everest 13574 Pathway Ad 4x7.5 2/3/12 3:25 PM Page 1 $2,500 Turn your diploma into a degree through Humber's pathways. Apply for advanced standing by transferring your college credits into almost all of our degree programs. Those who qualify will also receive a one-time scholarship of $2,500, the only one of its kind in Canada. business.humber.ca/pathways BUSINESS DEGREES FIND YOUR PATHWAY TURN YOUR DIPLOMA INTO A DEGREE. Check us out online at thevarsity.ca 8ways to launch YOUR CAREER POSTGRADUATE CERTIFICATES IN: Event Management Financial Planning Global Business Management Human Resources Management International Development International Marketing Marketing Management Public Administration business.humber.ca MARCH 19, 2012 23
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