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NO MORE BACKSLIDING! 7 WAYS TO STAY ON THE FITNESS TRACK<br />
Healthy.Wealthy.Wise.<br />
Less Stress<br />
More<br />
Joy <strong>To</strong>ns<br />
ofIdeas<br />
to Live<br />
a Happy,<br />
Healthier<br />
Life!<br />
WWW.HEARTANDSOUL.COM<br />
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
The<br />
Soul of<br />
Malinda<br />
Williams<br />
The<br />
Blackest<br />
Eye<br />
Surviving<br />
Domestic<br />
Violence<br />
Building<br />
Bank<br />
in your<br />
20s, 30s,<br />
40s, 50s<br />
Lessons<br />
of the Heart<br />
Two Women Find<br />
Health After<br />
HeartDisease<br />
Hotter Sex<br />
...naturally
OLD SCHOOL CRED, NEW SCHOOL SWAGGER.<br />
*EPA estimated 15 city/21 hwy mpg, available 4.6L V8 4x2/6-speed transmission compared to '05 rating.<br />
**Based on Ford internal test results using NHTSA frontal NCAP and IIHS side test conditions criteria.
February/March 2006 Volume 11, Issue 2<br />
FEATURES<br />
Jump for Joy!<br />
40 The Soul of Malinda Williams<br />
From ªThe Cos<strong>by</strong> Showº to ªSoul Food,º Malinda Williams<br />
has grown up before our very eyes. Find out what's new in<br />
her life, on screen and off. By <strong>To</strong>nya Pendleton<br />
44 Healthy, Wealthy, Wise Challenge<br />
Falling off the fitness track more times than you'd like to<br />
admit? Donna Richardson Joyner explains how to stay motivated<br />
in meeting your health and fitness goals. And learn<br />
how to develop wealthy ways and evolve into a wiser woman.<br />
46 10 Ways to Put More Joy in Your Life!<br />
Patrice Gaines, journalist and author ofMoments of Grace,<br />
offers lots of little ways to find joy with big payoffsÐ less<br />
stress and better health.<br />
48 Turning Point<br />
For National Heart Month, fitness editor Nichele Hoskins<br />
reveals how she overcame both her addiction to and<br />
subsequent fear of exercise after a close call. Plus, another<br />
woman who became heart smart after a transplant.<br />
50 When Love Hurts<br />
He loves her; he loves her not. He set her on fire.<br />
A look at domestic violence±and what we can do about<br />
it±in ªThe Blackest Eyeº <strong>by</strong> <strong>Jackie</strong> <strong>Jones</strong>.<br />
healthy<br />
Stick to your<br />
goalsÐand<br />
reward yourself!<br />
44
OPPOSITE PAGE: PHOTO BY ANNE-MARIE WEBER/GETTY IMAGES<br />
healthy<br />
DEPARTMENTS<br />
15 You, First!<br />
Pucker up for health. What you must<br />
know about your gums. Is the birth<br />
control patch safe? Coffee's cool!<br />
Banishing ba<strong>by</strong> blues. Cucumbers:<br />
no ordinary vegetable. Where does<br />
the money for pink ribbons and<br />
bracelets go? Plus, healthy, wealthy<br />
and wise ways to spend your time.<br />
22 Natural Beauty<br />
Cut your primp time with quick tips<br />
and tricks. Beautify yourself for spring.<br />
Ask Amanda about workout hair woes.<br />
ªBeauty Clickº for cyber tips. And talking<br />
beauty with Taraji P. Henson.<br />
28 Soul Style<br />
Individuality is the name of the game<br />
at Nike and Target. Missy Elliot and<br />
Adidas team up for street chic sportswear.<br />
Grab a bunch of tunes with Delapod's<br />
iPod-ready handbags and totes.<br />
32 Body Shaping<br />
Want sexy shoulders and toned arms?<br />
Fitness pros Mocha Lee and Tanji<br />
Johnson show you how!<br />
34 Fit Bits<br />
Nichele Hoskins shares fitness news<br />
you can use to keep everyone moving<br />
at any age or size.<br />
36 Natural Healing<br />
Keep the home fires sizzling hot<br />
Ðnaturally!<br />
38 Real Life, Real Answers<br />
Kick clutter to the curb and change<br />
your life.<br />
68 Soul Kitchen<br />
Tasty treats from women chefs<br />
who burn in the kitchen.<br />
On the cover...<br />
Malinda Williams was<br />
photographed <strong>by</strong> Bob<strong>by</strong><br />
Quillard in Los Angeles.<br />
Styling <strong>by</strong> Tiffany Hasbourne.<br />
Makeup <strong>by</strong> Martha Callendar.<br />
Malinda's top, Joya-French<br />
Corner NYC; cropped denim<br />
cargo pants, Luxurious jeans;<br />
head band, Claire's; and<br />
shoes, Steve Madden.<br />
wealthy<br />
54 Wealthy Ways<br />
Financial expert Michelle Singletary<br />
explains how to make the most of your<br />
money in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and<br />
beyond in this excerpt from her new<br />
book, Your Money and Your Man.<br />
58 Fiscal Fitness<br />
The marriage penalty, comparing credit<br />
unions, the real deal on our earning<br />
power and the ªwelfare queenº myth.<br />
wise<br />
12 Life Coach<br />
Valorie Burton explains the difference<br />
between energy drainers and boosters.<br />
60 Escapes<br />
Scuba divers go down under and come<br />
up for fun in Barbados.<br />
62 Downtime<br />
Great books, movies, music and more<br />
to help you unwind.<br />
59 Male Call<br />
Jonathan Luckett takes a novel look<br />
at the lost art of foreplay.<br />
66 Family Matters<br />
Kimberly Allers, author of the new<br />
Mocha Manual,goes inside the<br />
mind of your ba<strong>by</strong>'s daddy.<br />
71 Soul Searching<br />
Rev. Charmayne Cooke on making a<br />
choice to have joy in your life.<br />
72 Best Medicine<br />
Standup comic Meshelle learns the true<br />
meaning of ªhang timeº and proves that<br />
laughter really is the best medicine.<br />
etcetera<br />
4 Publisher's Message<br />
7 Heart to Heart<br />
8 Contributors<br />
8 Coming Next Month<br />
10 Sisterhood Network<br />
10 Letters<br />
The information in Heart & Soul is meant to increase your knowledge of health development and disease<br />
prevention. Because everyone is different, the ideas expressed <strong>by</strong> physicians and researchers cannot be<br />
used to diagnose or treat individual health problems. A health-care professional can best guide you.<br />
A PUBLICATION OF HEART & SOUL ENTERPRISES, LLC.<br />
16 healthy<br />
Why kissing is<br />
so good for you!<br />
54<br />
wealthy<br />
Pay yourself<br />
first and other<br />
money mantras.<br />
58<br />
wise<br />
Understanding<br />
daddy dilemmas.<br />
54
FROM THE PUBLISHER f<br />
Establishing Partnerships<br />
Ilost my mother, Dollie Avent Fisher, in October 2001,when the breast cancer<br />
she had survived at the age of 40 came back to claim her life at the<br />
tender age of 61. I'm saddened whenever I think about her because she<br />
didn't see me marry my beautiful wife,Tracey, or meet her grandson,<br />
my wonderful little boy, Austin.<br />
My dilemma is also an unfortunate reality for too many brothers and<br />
sisters in the U.S. For far too many of us are losing our mothers, sisters and<br />
daughters to this devastating disease and at increasingly younger ages.That<br />
is why Heart & Soulis partnering with the sisters of Sigma Gamma Rho<br />
Sorority to educate women about breast cancer detection and prevention.<br />
In November, the U.S. Postal Service unveiled a stamp commemorating<br />
the life of Hattie McDaniel, the<br />
first African-American to win an<br />
Academy Award for her role in<br />
Gone With the Wind . She was also<br />
an honorary member of Sigma<br />
Gamma Rho and a victim of breast<br />
cancer.The sisters will honor her<br />
life and use the opportunity presented<br />
<strong>by</strong> the unveiling of the<br />
stamp to initiate the Sigma<br />
Edwin V. Avent with Dr. Mynora J. Bryant, Gamma Rho/Heart & Soul Hattie<br />
International Grand Basileus, Sigma<br />
McDaniel Breast Cancer Awareness<br />
Gamma Rho Sorority Inc., and Kay<br />
Merrill, past national secretary, right.<br />
campaign.<br />
I was honored when I was approached<br />
<strong>by</strong> Kay Merrill, the past national secretary of Sigma Gamma<br />
Rho and one of my fellow church members, to see if we could partner on<br />
such a program. Kay arranged a meeting between me and Dr. Mynora J.<br />
Bryant, the International Grand Basileus of the sorority, to lay out the<br />
terms of our partnership. We're off to a great start.<br />
It is my mission as the publisher of Heart & Soulto work with women<br />
all across this country, and indeed the world, to educate them about how<br />
to live a Healthy, Wealthy and Wise lifestyle. Later this year, we will announce<br />
the official launch of Heart the & Soul Foundation.The purpose<br />
of the foundation will be to fund research and initiatives dedicated to the<br />
elimination of health disparities that impact black women and their families.Ten<br />
percent of every subscription will go to the foundation.The proceeds<br />
will help fund programs like the one being initiated <strong>by</strong> the sisters of<br />
Sigma Gamma Rho, and we will use the pages Heart of & Soulto highlight<br />
some of the great work being done <strong>by</strong> sisters working to make life<br />
better for others.<br />
If you do something to help other women live a healthier, wealthier and<br />
wiser lifestyle, I'm sure both Hattie and my mom, Dollie, would be very<br />
proud of you.<br />
All the best,<br />
Edwin V. Avent<br />
4 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
PRESIDENT/PUBLISHER<br />
Edwin V. Avent<br />
EDITORIAL DIRECTOR<br />
Yanick Rice Lamb<br />
ART DIRECTOR<br />
Debra A. Moore<br />
MANAGING EDITOR<br />
Kendra Lee<br />
EDITOR-AT-LARGE<br />
Valorie Burton<br />
FITNESS EDITOR<br />
Nichele Hoskins<br />
BEAUTY AND FASHION EDITOR<br />
Marcia Caster<br />
COPY CHIEF<br />
Charlyne H. McWilliams<br />
CHIEF OF RESEARCH<br />
Carolyn Hardnett Robinson<br />
WRITER/RESEARCHER<br />
Jacqueline C. Brooks<br />
CONTRIBUTING EDITORS<br />
Rovenia M. Brock, Ph.D., Nicole<br />
Crawford, Sheree Crute, Mocha Lee,<br />
Marilyn Milloy, Keith Reed,<br />
Donna Richardson Joyner<br />
EDITORIAL ASSISTANT<br />
Janelle Williams<br />
ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT<br />
Dandrea James Harris<br />
ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER<br />
Robert Stephens<br />
NORTHEAST ADVERTISING DIRECTOR<br />
Sandi Harris<br />
MIDWEST ADVERTISING DIRECTOR<br />
John Stewart<br />
10206 S. Prospect<br />
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e-mail: info@heartandsoul.com<br />
Heart & Soul Enterprises, LLC<br />
2514 Maryland Avenue<br />
Baltimore, MD 21218<br />
Heart & Soulmagazine is a registered<br />
trademark of Heart & Soul Enterprises.<br />
Heart & Soulmagazine is published<br />
bimonthly. No portion of this magazine,<br />
including without limitation, articles and<br />
listings, may be reproduced without the<br />
written permission of the publisher.<br />
Copyright 2006 <strong>by</strong> Heart & Soul<br />
Heart & Soul Enterprises, LLC<br />
All rights reserved
PHOTO BY RON ARIA; HAIR BY AMANDA MACK<br />
Joy to Your World!<br />
Are you a cup-half-full or cup-half-empty person?<br />
I'm in the first group, but sometimes life<br />
spills a little joy juice from my cup. Like<br />
many of you, I've had a few spills lately. One<br />
occurred when I returned to my hometown for the second<br />
of three family funerals in as many weeks. Shortly<br />
after saying a prayer thanking God for a safe landing at<br />
the airport, I got one of those dreaded phone calls in<br />
which I heard my son's name and the word ªambulanceº<br />
in the same sentence. <strong>To</strong> put it mildly, I lost it.<br />
Support, hugs and prayers from my grieving relatives<br />
helped me recover from my momentary meltdown<br />
so that I could cut my trip short and go take<br />
care of my ba<strong>by</strong>. (Okay, he's 17, but he'll always be my<br />
ba<strong>by</strong>!) I knew that I needed to be strong for my son<br />
and to find the joy in our situation. Yes, we'll miss our<br />
loved ones, but we can celebrate their<br />
lives and find comfort in knowing that<br />
HEART-TO-HEART f<br />
Isn't it<br />
also helped me make it through the day. On the morn-<br />
refreshing to see they are in a better place and free of theings<br />
when I wanted the revolving door to spin me back<br />
people who find pain wracking their bodies. Yes, my son outside onto the sidewalk so that I could go home, I<br />
joy in their lives and his friend (who's like a son) emergedthought<br />
of Sylvia. She found joy in coming to work.<br />
and spread some from a mangled car with cuts, bruises and She found joy in each day of her life. She was always<br />
of it around? fractures, but they're alive!<br />
smiling and never complaining. Sylvia had a lot to<br />
Look inside Finding joy in little and big things complain about±grueling headaches that made it hard<br />
for tips on how keeps us moving forward. It prevents us for her to see, think or stand; not to mention the brain<br />
to join their from being stuck. It shuts down our pity cancer that caused the headaches in the first place and<br />
joyful ranks! parties. It puts smiles on our faces. Best ofthat<br />
cut her life short at 28.<br />
all, it helps to keep us healthy.<br />
So, are you a cup-half-full or cup-half-empty per-<br />
Isn't it refreshing to see people who son? Join me in the first group. Already there? Great! If<br />
find joy in their lives and spread some of it around? you aren't, take tiny steps to add more joy to your<br />
Think about the chipper cashier whose feet hurt, the world. Focus on the good in a bad situation. Stop to<br />
subway conductor who makes lively announcements smell the roses±literally.Think about the riot of color<br />
on routes he's traveled a zillion times, the clerk who on trees in the fall, the lace hanging on branches at first<br />
makes the wait at the Department of Motor Vehiclessnowfall,<br />
the glistening stars in the sky, a gorgeous sun-<br />
less grueling. Think about some of the people whoserise<br />
or sunset, the glow of the moon, the joyful sound<br />
lives have been turned upside down <strong>by</strong> acts of nature, of voices reverberating on walls at your place of wor-<br />
such as Hurricane Katrina. In addition to working ship, the tranquility of a lake, your first kiss. Look at all<br />
with Heart & Soul, I also teach journalism at Howard the examples in this issue and at heartandsoul.com.<br />
University. Three of my hardest-working students were And if you have any ideas, please share them. None of<br />
affected <strong>by</strong> Katrina, but you'd never know it. They us can ever have too much joy!<br />
won't let Katrina rob their lives of joy.<br />
I also think of Sylvia Wilson, who helped me look From my heart to yours,<br />
good when I filled in for our boss. That was during my<br />
early days of learning how to run a newspaper section Yanick Rice Lamb<br />
and eventually entire publications. Sylvia stuck <strong>by</strong> my yricelamb@heartandsoul.com<br />
side through thick and thin, trial and error. She not<br />
only helped me make it to where I am today, but she<br />
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 · HEARTANDSOUL.COM 7
Inthe<br />
Next<br />
Issueof<br />
Heart<br />
&Soul!<br />
Theme:<br />
Renewal<br />
Healthy<br />
Fit Forever: 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s<br />
and Beyond<br />
Sneezes & Sniffles:<br />
How to Ease Allergies<br />
Wealthy<br />
Dreams Inc.: Starting and<br />
Growing Your Business<br />
Asking for a Raise<br />
Wise<br />
A Blessing in the Bayou<br />
Sensuous Spaces<br />
Plus,<br />
more tips to meet our<br />
2006 Healthy, Wealthy,<br />
Wise Challenge!<br />
And tell us how you recharge<br />
your batteries:<br />
Heart & Soul<br />
2514 Maryland Ave.<br />
Baltimore, MD 21218<br />
editor@heartandsoul.com<br />
Heart & Soul Magazine (SSN1092-1974) is published 6 times a<br />
year <strong>by</strong> Heart & Soul Enterprises, LLC, 2514 Maryland Ave., Baltimore,<br />
MD 21218. Subscription rates for one year (6 issues):<br />
United States, $18.00. Add $16 per for Canada; add $30 per year<br />
for all other foreign orders. Payment in U.S. currency must accompany<br />
all foreign orders. Application to mail at Periodicals Postage<br />
rates are pending at Baltimore, MD. Periodicals postage is paid in<br />
Baltimore, MD and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER:<br />
Send address changes to Heart & Soul, 2514 Maryland Ave., Baltimore,<br />
MD 21218, or log onto www.heartandsoul.com/subscriptions<br />
. Copyright <strong>by</strong> Heart & Soul Enterprises,LLC. All rights<br />
reserved. Cover and contents may not be reproduced or reprinted<br />
in any form or medium without prior written permission. The publisher<br />
does not assume responsibility for a unsolicited manuscripts,<br />
photos or art, and will only return those accompanied <strong>by</strong> a<br />
stamped, self-addressed envelope. Occasionally, we provide our<br />
customer list to companies whose products might interest you. If<br />
you do not wish to receive mailings from such companies, please<br />
send your request and a copy of your mailing label to us at Heart &<br />
Soul, Mailing Preferences, 2514 Maryland Ave., Baltimore, MD<br />
21218. PRINTED IN U.S.A.<br />
8 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
OUR CREW<br />
Patrice Gainesis co-founder of the<br />
Brown Angel Center, where she works<br />
to empower girls and young women at<br />
risk, drawing from her experiences on<br />
the streets and in jail. An award-winning<br />
journalist and former Washington<br />
Postreporter, she is author of Laughing<br />
in the Darkand Moments of Grace: Meeting<br />
the Challenge to Change . Patrice, who<br />
lives near Charlotte, North Carolina,<br />
has met the challenge and shares some<br />
of her tips in ª10 Ways to Put More Joy<br />
in Your Life.º<br />
<strong>Jackie</strong> <strong>Jones</strong><br />
examines the dark<br />
side of relationships<br />
and a pressing<br />
public health<br />
issue in ªThe<br />
Blackest Eye.º<br />
<strong>Jackie</strong> is a writing<br />
and editing coach<br />
with 30 years of<br />
experience as a journalist and journalism<br />
educator. A native of Washington, D.C.,<br />
<strong>Jackie</strong> graduated from The George Washington<br />
University with a bachelor's in journalism.<br />
A cousin and a son have followed<br />
her footsteps into journalism and she holds<br />
out hope that her 2-year-old granddaughter, Washington,<br />
Kelsi, will consider the field, too.<br />
D.C., area.<br />
A native Bostonian<br />
transplanted<br />
to Hollywood,<br />
California, for<br />
the past 14 years.<br />
Bob<strong>by</strong> Quillard<br />
has worked with<br />
top entertainment<br />
companies and<br />
celebrities. His<br />
photography captures the natural<br />
beauty and expressions of subjects,<br />
such as Malinda Williams. ªI find a<br />
way to make them feel comfortable<br />
and relaxed, and then I shoot like<br />
crazy!º Other passions include ice<br />
hockey, softball, the Boston Red Sox,<br />
his beautiful wife,Tamika, his even<br />
prettier ba<strong>by</strong> girl, Ava, and Billie Holliday,<br />
his chocolate labrador. Bob<strong>by</strong> recently<br />
joined doctors in Peru, shooting<br />
people needing open heart surgery.<br />
For Valentine's Day, ªMale Callº<br />
returns with a twist, featuring<br />
Jonathan Luckett,author<br />
of Dissolve, How Ya Livin' and<br />
Jasminium.Sample a taste of his<br />
writing in ªFinding Foreplay,º an<br />
enticing scenario<br />
in which<br />
a couple<br />
reignites their<br />
love life.<br />
Jonathan is a<br />
native of<br />
Brooklyn,<br />
New York,<br />
living in the<br />
ªIt's a breast pump,ºMeshelle yells,<br />
trying to convince airport security that<br />
there's no bomb in her bag for the third<br />
time in eight days. Life and laughter<br />
show up when you least expect it, says<br />
Meshelle, who juggles motherhood,<br />
marriage, travels as a standup comic<br />
and now writing as she brings back our<br />
popular ªBest Medicineº column. ªLet's<br />
just say renaissance and woman should<br />
be attached to my name at all times.º
SISTERHOO D NETWORK f<br />
Your blood, toenail clipping and house dust samples. No, really,<br />
that's just a few of the things the Sister Study wants us to collect to help<br />
National Institute of Environmental Health Science researchers figure out<br />
why some women get breast cancer and others don't. Black women under<br />
the age of 45 have the highest incidence rates of breast cancer in the United<br />
States, and we are more likely to die of it than whites. The institute, part of<br />
Give it up<br />
for the<br />
sistas<br />
10 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
the National Institutes of Health, is trying to figure out how<br />
environment Ð the things in our home, workplace and<br />
communityÐ and genes affect a woman's chances of<br />
getting breast cancer.<br />
Researchers want to sign up 50,000 women, ages<br />
35 to 74, who haven't had breast cancer, but have a<br />
sister who has or had the disease for the landmark study.<br />
They believe the information gathered may help them come up with rec-<br />
ommendations for preventing future cases of breast cancer. The more than<br />
20,000 women who have signed up for the Sister Study say on its Web site<br />
that they are willing to give samples of everything from blood, toenail clip-<br />
ping and urine to house dust, as well as do extensive questionnaires and<br />
detailed phone interviews, because they want to help find a cure. Do it for<br />
your sister, sista. ÐJanette Rodrigues<br />
<strong>To</strong> register for the study, go to www.sisterstudy.org or call 1-877-SISTER, or<br />
1-877-474-7837, toll-free. The deaf or hard-of-hearing can call 1-866-TTY-<br />
4SIS, or 1-866-889-4747. Click www.heartandsoul.com for more on cancer.<br />
LETTERS<br />
Congratulations on the relaunch Heart of<br />
& Soul! I know that it will again be a great<br />
addition to our newsstands. The content is<br />
great. Most of the articles are quick reads,<br />
but very informative!<br />
Kanya Bennett<br />
Washington, D.C.<br />
It was good to see Heart & Soul back on<br />
the newsstand. "Middle Management" on<br />
page 34 of the Body Shaping section was<br />
interesting. Thanks for your time. I look<br />
forward to future issues.<br />
Peggy Terry<br />
Austin, Texas<br />
I picked up the magazine and saw that<br />
some of the old team members were back<br />
on board. That's a true blessing in today©s<br />
day and time for the ªethnicº market. The<br />
publication is absolutely needed. I knew it<br />
would happen, because God is good.<br />
Jeffrey Gamble<br />
New York<br />
I was attending my homecoming at Morgan<br />
State University and received a copy of<br />
the Reunion Issue. I've had an opportunity<br />
to read through your magazine. I am very<br />
pleased and would love to subscribe.<br />
Laverne E. Chandler<br />
Fork Union, Virginia<br />
I was so pleased to see Heart & Soulon the<br />
newsstand and then to turn inside and see<br />
Yanick Rice Lamb once again at the helm.<br />
It's great when something is really yours<br />
that it remains yours. I love the issue, and<br />
I'm looking forward to more and more.<br />
God bless and continued success!<br />
Sherrie Britt<br />
Hyattsville, Maryland<br />
Congratulations on the relaunch Heart of<br />
& Soul. The first issue was fantastic, and I<br />
read it cover to cover. I am glad to see the<br />
magazine return and plan to subscribe.<br />
Yolanda McCutchen<br />
Washington, D.C.<br />
Send letters, along with your name, address and<br />
daytime phone number, to Heart & Soul, 2514<br />
Maryland Ave., Baltimore, MD 21218 or<br />
editor@heartandsoul.com. Sorry, because of our<br />
mail volume, we cannot answer or publish every letter.<br />
Letters, which may be edited for length and clarity,<br />
become the property of Heart & Souland may be<br />
used in any media. Additional content is available at<br />
heartandsoul.com.
LISTEN TO YOUR LIFE f<br />
Who and What Is<br />
Draining<br />
Your E nergy?<br />
<strong>by</strong> valorie burton<br />
Ihave a simple rule for determining<br />
what gets my time and attention.<br />
ªDoes this relationship or activity<br />
give me energy or drain my energy?º<br />
If it gives me energy, I nurture<br />
and embrace it. If not, I cut or adjust it.<br />
Energy boosters bring fulfillment and<br />
joy, a high-grade fuel that empowers<br />
you to persevere on your journey.<br />
Life is simply too short to fill it<br />
with things that steal your joy. So today,<br />
make a list of energy boosters and<br />
drainers. Cultivate the relationshipsWhether<br />
it is a hob<strong>by</strong> or a career, reg-<br />
and things that make your ªenergyularly<br />
engage in activities you love.<br />
boostingº list. Let go of the rest or<br />
make adjustments. <strong>To</strong> get you started, 3Space.I like to call it ªmargin for<br />
here are a few examples of both: error.º Whenever you give yourself<br />
space, you make room for joy.<br />
It's hard to experience joy when you<br />
Energy Boosters are racing from one appointment to<br />
1True friends. These are the the next. Consider where you need to<br />
ones who love you for whoadd<br />
more space, whether it is more<br />
you are and not what youtime<br />
than you need to get ready before<br />
2Clutter. Ever notice how much<br />
more energy you have after you<br />
clear your desk or clean out your<br />
closet? As a life coach, I have often<br />
found a correlation between a person<br />
being stuck in a particular area of her<br />
life and the amount of clutter she tolerates<br />
in her car, home or office. Clear<br />
your clutter, and make room for more<br />
of what you want in your life.<br />
do. You can cry, laugh, makeleaving<br />
home or a financial cushion 3Busywork. so<br />
You may engage in<br />
mistakes and pray together. that emergencies don't bring on stress. some activities just because you<br />
Nurture these friendships.<br />
always have. Perhaps this month,<br />
it's time to reevaluate your schedule.<br />
Energy Drainers<br />
2Activities and<br />
Drop the activities that don't give you<br />
work you love. 1Pseudo-relationships. These re- joy or energy, and incorporate more of<br />
Do something lationships take up time, energythe<br />
things that bring you joy!<br />
every day that allows and sometimes even money, but<br />
you to use your gifts, don't enhance your quality of life. Valorie Burton, our life coach and edi-<br />
talents and passion. Start noticing who drains your entor-at-large, is the author Listen of to<br />
It's good for your ergyÐwhether it's the negative girl- Your Life, Rich Minds, Rich Re-<br />
mind, body and spirit. friend who calls regularly to dump her wards and What's Really Holding<br />
Many have found thatproblems<br />
on you or people who al- You Back? She coaches groups and in-<br />
turning their passion ways want something, but rarely give. dividuals to live their best lives. You can<br />
into their profession Make a decision to move on or request subscribe to her free, inspirational e-<br />
reaps rich rewards. a change in the relationship dynamic. newsletter at heartandsoul.com.<br />
12 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006
H V<br />
NEW KALETRA tablets.<br />
Undetectable just got easier.<br />
²<br />
· No refrigeration required<br />
· Can be taken with or without food<br />
²²<br />
· Once or twice daily dosing<br />
² Exposure to high humidity outside the original container for<br />
longer than 2 weeks is not recommended.<br />
²² In an ongoing clinical study, the once daily dose of Kaletra<br />
in combination has been evaluated at 48 weeks and is not<br />
1<br />
recommended for treatment-experienced patients.<br />
Proven to keep viral loads<br />
Longterm Undetectable (LU) * and<br />
helps raise CD 4 T-cell count. **<br />
* Kaletra in combination has been proven to keep HIV<br />
Longterm Undetectable through 204 weeks in patients new to<br />
1<br />
therapy. (Undetectable = HIV RNA
CONSUMER BRIEF SUMMARY CONSULT PACKAGE INSERT FOR FULL PRESCRIBING INFORMATION<br />
St. John's wort. Taking St. John's wort may decrease KALETRA levels and lead to increased viral load and<br />
KALETRA<br />
possible resistance to KALETRA or cross-resistance to other anti-HIV medicines.<br />
• Do not take KALETRA with the cholesterol-lowering medicines Mevacor (lovastatin) or Zocor (simvastatin)<br />
because of possible serious reactions. There is also an increased risk of drug interactions between KALETRA<br />
(lopinavir/ritonavir) tablets<br />
(lopinavir/ritonavir) oral solution<br />
and Lipitor (atorvastatin); talk to your doctor before you take any of these cholesterol-reducing medicines with<br />
KALETRA.<br />
Medicines that require dosage adjustments:<br />
ALERT: Find out about medicines that should NOT be taken with KALETRA.<br />
"MEDICINES YOU SHOULD NOT TAKE WITH KALETRA."<br />
Please also read the section It is possible that your doctor may need to increase or decrease the dose of other medicines when you are also<br />
taking KALETRA. Remember to tell your doctor all medicines you are taking or plan to take.<br />
PATIENT INFORMATION<br />
Before you take Viagra (sildenafil), Cialis (tadalafil), or Levitra (vardenafil) with KALETRA, talk to<br />
KALETRA (kuh-LEE-tra)<br />
your doctor about problems these two medicines can cause when taken together. You may get increased side<br />
effects of VIAGRA, CIALIS, or LEVITRA such as low blood pressure, vision changes, and penis erection<br />
Generic Name: lopinavir/ritonavir (lop-IN-uh-veer/rit-ON-uh-veer)<br />
lasting more than 4 hours. If an erection lasts longer than 4 hours, get medical help right away to avoid<br />
Read this leaflet carefully before you start taking KALETRA. Also, read it each time you get your KALETRA permanent damage to your penis. Your doctor can explain these symptoms to you.<br />
prescription refilled, in case something has changed. This information does not take the place of talking with<br />
•<br />
your<br />
If you are taking oral contraceptives ("the pill") or the contraceptive patch to prevent pregnancy, you should use<br />
doctor when you start this medicine and at check ups. Ask your doctor if you have any questions about KALETRA.<br />
an additional or different type of contraception since KALETRA may reduce the effectiveness of oral or patch<br />
Before taking your medicine, make sure you have received the correct medicine. Compare the name above contraceptives.<br />
with<br />
the name on your bottle and the appearance of your medicine with the description provided below. Contact<br />
• Efavirenz<br />
your<br />
(Sustiva‰), nevirapine (Viramune), Agenerase (amprenavir) and Viracept (nelfinavir) may lower the<br />
pharmacist immediately if you believe a dispensing error has occurred.<br />
amount of KALETRA in your blood. Your doctor may increase your dose of KALETRA if you are also taking<br />
What is KALETRA and how does it work?<br />
efavirenz, nevirapine, amprenavir or nelfinavir. KALETRA should not be taken once-daily with these medicines.<br />
KALETRA is a combination of two medicines. They are lopinavir and ritonavir. KALETRA is a type of medicine • If you are taking Mycobutin(rifabutin), your doctor will lower the dose of Mycobutin.<br />
called an HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) protease (PRO-tee-ase) inhibitor. KALETRA is always used in•<br />
A change in therapy should be considered if you are taking KALETRA with:<br />
combination with other anti-HIV medicines to treat people with human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) infection. • Phenobarbital<br />
KALETRA is for adults and for children age 6 months and older.<br />
• Phenytoin (Dilantin and others)<br />
HIV infection destroys CD4 (T) cells, which are important to the immune system. After a large number of T cells • Carbamazepine (Tegretol and others)<br />
are destroyed, acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS) develops.<br />
These medicines may lower the amount of KALETRA in your blood and make it less effective. KALETRA should<br />
KALETRA blocks HIV protease, a chemical which is needed for HIV to multiply. KALETRA reduces the amount not be taken once-daily with these medicines.<br />
of HIV in your blood and increases the number of T cells. Reducing the amount of HIV in the blood reduces • the If you are taking or before you begin using inhaled Flonase (fluticasone propionate) talk to your doctor about<br />
chance of death or infections that happen when your immune system is weak (opportunistic infections). problems these two medicines may cause when taken together. Your doctor may choose not to keep you on<br />
Does KALETRA cure HIV or AIDS?<br />
inhaled Flonase.<br />
KALETRA does not cure HIV infection or AIDS. The long-term effects of KALETRA are not known at · Other Special Considerations:<br />
this time. People taking KALETRA may still get opportunistic infections or other conditions that happen KALETRA oral solution contains alcohol. Talk with your doctor if you are taking or planning to take<br />
with HIV infection. Some of these conditions are pneumonia, herpes virus infections, and Mycobacterium metronidazole or disulfiram. Severe nausea and vomiting can occur.<br />
avium complex(MAC) infections.<br />
•If you are taking both didanosine (Videx ) and KALETRA:<br />
Does KALETRA reduce the risk of passing HIV to others?<br />
Didanosine (Videx ) can be taken at the same time as KALETRA tablets without food. Didanosine (Videx )<br />
KALETRA does not reduce the risk of passing HIV to others through sexual contact or blood contamination. should be taken one hour before or two hours after KALETRA oral solution.<br />
Continue to practice safe sex and do not use or share dirty needles.<br />
What are the possible side effects of KALETRA?<br />
How should I take KALETRA?<br />
• This list of side effects is not complete. If you have questions about side effects, ask your doctor, nurse, or<br />
• You should stay under a doctor's care when taking KALETRA. Do not change your treatment or stop treatment pharmacist. You should report any new or continuing symptoms to your doctor right away. Your doctor may be<br />
without first talking with your doctor.<br />
able to help you manage these side effects.<br />
• You must take KALETRA every day exactly as your doctor prescribed it. The dose of KALETRA may be • The most commonly reported side effects of moderate severity that are thought to be drug related are: abdominal<br />
different for you than for other patients. Follow the directions from your doctor, exactly as written on the label. pain, abnormal stools (bowel movements), diarrhea, feeling weak/tired, headache, and nausea. Children taking<br />
KALETRA may sometimes get a skin rash.<br />
• Dosing in adults (including children 12 years of age and older):<br />
• Blood tests in patients taking KALETRA may show possible liver problems. People with liver disease such as<br />
The usual dose for adults is 2 tablets (400/100 mg) or 5.0 mL of the oral solution twice a day (morning and night),<br />
Hepatitis B and Hepatitis C who take KALETRA may have worsening liver disease. Liver problems including<br />
in combination with other anti-HIV medicines.<br />
death have occurred in patients taking KALETRA. In studies, it is unclear if KALETRA caused these liver<br />
The doctor may prescribe KALETRA as 4 tablets or 10.0 mL of oral solution (800/200 mg) once-daily in problems because some patients had other illnesses or were taking other medicines.<br />
combination with other anti-HIV medicines for some patients who have not taken anti-HIV medications in the past.<br />
• Some patients taking KALETRA can develop serious problems with their pancreas (pancreatitis), which may<br />
• KALETRA tablets should be swallowed whole and not chewed, broken, or crushed.<br />
cause death. You have a higher chance of having pancreatitis if you have had it before. Tell your doctor if you<br />
• KALETRA tablets can be taken with or without food.<br />
have nausea, vomiting, or abdominal pain. These may be signs of pancreatitis.<br />
• Dosing in children from 6 months to 12 years of age:<br />
• Some patients have large increases in triglycerides and cholesterol. The long-term chance of getting<br />
Children from 6 months to 12 years of age can also take KALETRA. The child's doctor will decide the right dose complications such as heart attacks or stroke due to increases in triglycerides and cholesterol caused <strong>by</strong> protease<br />
based on the child's weight.<br />
inhibitors is not known at this time.<br />
• Take KALETRA oral solution with food to help it work better.<br />
• Diabetes and high blood sugar (hyperglycemia) occur in patients taking protease inhibitors such as KALETRA.<br />
• Do not change your dose or stop taking KALETRA without first talking with your doctor.<br />
Some patients had diabetes before starting protease inhibitors, others did not. Some patients need changes in<br />
their diabetes medicine. Others needed new diabetes medicine.<br />
• When your KALETRA supply starts to run low, get more from your doctor or pharmacy. This is very important<br />
because the amount of virus in your blood may increase if the medicine is stopped for even a short time.<br />
• Changes<br />
The<br />
in body fat have been seen in some patients taking antiretroviral therapy. These changes may include<br />
virus may develop resistance to KALETRA and become harder to treat.<br />
increased amount of fat in the upper back and neck ("buffalo hump"), breast, and around the trunk. Loss of fat<br />
from the legs, arms and face may also happen. The cause and long term health effects of these conditions are not<br />
• Be sure to set up a schedule and follow it carefully.<br />
known at this time.<br />
• Only take medicine that has been prescribed specifically for you. Do not give KALETRA to others or take<br />
• Some patients with hemophilia have increased bleeding with protease inhibitors.<br />
medicine prescribed for someone else.<br />
• There have been other side effects in patients taking KALETRA. However, these side effects may have been due<br />
What should I do if I miss a dose of KALETRA?<br />
to other medicines that patients were taking or to the illness itself. Some of these side effects can be serious.<br />
It is important that you do not miss any doses. If you miss a dose of KALETRA, take it as soon as possible and<br />
What should I tell my doctor before taking KALETRA?<br />
then take your next scheduled dose at its regular time. If it is almost time for your next dose, do not take the missed<br />
dose. Wait and take the next dose at the regular time. Do not double the next dose.<br />
• If you are pregnant or planning to become pregnant: The effects of KALETRA on pregnant women or their<br />
unborn babies are not known.<br />
What happens if I take too much KALETRA?<br />
• If you are breast-feeding: Do not breast-feed if you are taking KALETRA. You should not breast-feed if you<br />
If you suspect that you took more than the prescribed dose of this medicine, contact your local poison control have HIV. If you are a woman who has or will have a ba<strong>by</strong>, talk with your doctor about the best way to feed your<br />
center or emergency room immediately.<br />
ba<strong>by</strong>. You should be aware that if your ba<strong>by</strong> does not already have HIV, there is a chance that HIV can be<br />
As with all prescription medicines, KALETRA should be kept out of the reach of young children. KALETRA transmitted through breast- feeding.<br />
liquid contains a large amount of alcohol. If a toddler or young child accidentally drinks more than • If the you have liver problems: If you have liver problems or are infected with Hepatitis B or Hepatitis C, you should<br />
recommended dose of KALETRA, it could make him/her sick from too much alcohol. Contact your local poison tell your doctor before taking KALETRA.<br />
control center or emergency room immediately if this happens.<br />
• If you have diabetes: Some people taking protease inhibitors develop new or more serious diabetes or high blood<br />
Who should not take KALETRA?<br />
sugar. Tell your doctor if you have diabetes or an increase in thirst or frequent urination.<br />
<strong>To</strong>gether with your doctor, you need to decide whether KALETRA is right for you.<br />
• If you have hemophilia: Patients taking KALETRA may have increased bleeding.<br />
• Do not take KALETRA if you are taking certain medicines. These could cause serious side effects that could How do I store KALETRA?<br />
cause death. Before you take KALETRA, you must tell your doctor about all the medicines you are taking or<br />
•<br />
are<br />
Keep KALETRA and all other medicines out of the reach of children.<br />
planning to take. These include other prescription and non-prescription medicines and herbal supplements.<br />
• KALETRA tablets should be stored at room temperature. Exposure of Kaletra tablets to high humidity outside<br />
For more information about medicines you should not take with KALETRA, please read the section titledthe<br />
original container for longer than 2 weeks is not recommended.<br />
"MEDICINES YOU SHOULD NOT TAKE WITH KALETRA."<br />
• Refrigerated KALETRA oral solution remains stable until the expiration date printed on the label. If stored at<br />
• Do not take KALETRA if you have an allergy to KALETRA or any of its ingredients, including ritonavir or room temperature up to 77ld be used within 2 months.<br />
lopinavir.<br />
• Avoid exposure to excessive heat.<br />
Can I take KALETRA with other medications?*<br />
Do not keep medicine that is out of date or that you no longer need. Be sure that if you throw any medicine away,<br />
KALETRA may interact with other medicines, including those you take without a prescription. You must tell your it is out of the reach of children.<br />
doctor about all the medicines you are taking or planning to take before you take KALETRA.<br />
General advice about prescription medicines:<br />
MEDICINES YOU SHOULD NOT TAKE WITH KALETRA:<br />
Talk to your doctor or other health care provider if you have any questions about this medicine or your condition.<br />
• Do not take the following medicines with KALETRA because they can cause serious problems or death if taken<br />
Medicines are sometimes prescribed for purposes other than those listed in a Patient Information Leaflet. If you<br />
with KALETRA.<br />
have any concerns about this medicine, ask your doctor. Your doctor or pharmacist can give you information about<br />
• Dihydroergotamine, ergonovine, ergotamine and methylergonovine such as , Cafergot Migranal D.H.E. 45 , this medicine that was written for health care professionals. Do not use this medicine for a condition for which it<br />
Ergotrate Maleate, Methergine, and others<br />
was not prescribed. Do not share this medicine with other people.<br />
• Halcion (triazolam)<br />
• Hismanal (astemizole)<br />
* The brands listed are trademarks of their respective owners and are not trademarks of Abbott Laboratories. The<br />
makers of these brands are not affiliated with and do not endorse Abbott Laboratories or its products.<br />
• Orap (pimozide)<br />
• Propulsid (cisapride)<br />
• Seldane (terfenadine)<br />
Ref: 03-5418-R1<br />
Revised: October, 2005<br />
• Versed (midazolam)<br />
• Do not take KALETRA with rifampin, also known as Rimactane, Rifadin , Rifater , or Rifamate. Rifampin<br />
05J-036-L298-2MASTER<br />
may lower the amount of KALETRA in your blood and make it less effective.<br />
• Do not take KALETRA with St. John's wort (hypericum perforatum), an herbal product sold as a dietary<br />
supplement, or products containing St. John's wort. Talk with your doctor if you are taking or planning to take<br />
05H-036-K592-9<br />
PRINTED IN U.S.A.
coffee breaks · locking lips · meditate on it · go pink!<br />
The Magic of Friendship<br />
Glenda Fauntleroy and Jacquelineand<br />
boosts immunity. ªIt's satisfying to<br />
Henry became friends in 1985, know you have someone who knows you<br />
as freshmen at Howard Univer- well enough to question you,º Fauntleroy<br />
sity. A recent study says the ensuingsays.<br />
Watson agrees: ªBlack women know<br />
years of shared laughter, laments and life how to do friendships.º<br />
lessons may help them live longer. Because black women tend to be<br />
Australian researchers observed 1,477 builders of community networksÐa<br />
elderly and found those with strongfunction<br />
researchers of social structures in<br />
friendships were at lower risk of deathNew<br />
York City's Harlem neighborhood<br />
during the 10-year study period thanhave<br />
called ªkinworkºÐwe may benefit<br />
peers who socialized only with their chilparticularly<br />
from sisterly support.ªSlavery<br />
dren and other relatives. One possible and racism, ironically, reinforced friend-<br />
reason, suggests Marlene Watson, Ph.D., ships between black women. We have<br />
a therapist in Philadelphia, is that friendsformed<br />
life-saving friendships that buffer<br />
tend to reflect each other's individuality us against life's storms,º Watson notes.<br />
and values in ways related folks may not. How do you deepen your own close<br />
ªYou don't get to choose your family, but connections? ªIt takes effort to be a good<br />
your friends, you do,º she says. And a true friend, to share the ups and downs. Once<br />
homeslice is there to talk about worries, you have that, and trust, the friendship<br />
frustrations and joys, which reduces stress can last,º Henry says. ÐM.C.Tapera<br />
YOU, FIRST!<br />
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 · HEARTANDSOUL.COM 1 5
YOU, FIRST!<br />
Factoid: Don't let the name fool you. Coffee beans aren't beans at all; they're fruit pits.<br />
5<br />
Ways<strong>To</strong> Give<br />
Good Gum<br />
A pretty smile takes work, but there's a lot more involved<br />
than a visit to the dentist every six months. Since current research<br />
links gum disease to everything from heart disease<br />
and diabetes to premature and low-birth-weight babies, it is<br />
important keep your mouth in tip-top shape. <strong>To</strong> maintain a<br />
healthy mouth, Catrise Austin, D.D.S., of VIP Smile in Manhattan,<br />
1suggests the following:<br />
Make sure your dentist does a full set of Xrays<br />
(about 18 pictures) once every three<br />
16 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
Kissing is a little like exerciseÐ it wakes you up, makes<br />
you feel good and puts you in touch with your body, says<br />
New York City sexologist Joy Davidson. Like a good<br />
workout, a long, passionate smooch releases endorphins<br />
and the pleasure hormone oxytocin and contributes to a<br />
sense of well being that is good for you, says Davidson,<br />
Pucker Up<br />
author of Fearless Sex .<br />
ªA long make-out session<br />
puts us in an altered<br />
state, where the world is<br />
narrowed down to this feeling<br />
that begins at the end of<br />
your lips,º she says. ªThis is<br />
especially good for people<br />
who live in their heads, because<br />
it shuts off the<br />
whirling in the brain.º<br />
The oral engagement of<br />
our bodies begins in infancy<br />
with breast feeding<br />
and continues into adulthood<br />
with the pleasures of food, wine and, yes, kissing.<br />
ªPeople are passionate for wine and food and they enter<br />
our world through our mouth,º Davidson says. ªKissing<br />
is a voluptuous experience of its own. It's extremely<br />
arousing and inspires profound chemical changes (for<br />
the good!) in our bodies.º ÐSusan Salk<br />
Pink Ribbon Awareness<br />
years, but it's especially important for the first<br />
visit. Also, on that visit, your dentist should per- Pink ribbons support breast cancer awareness and research,<br />
form a gum evaluation, as well as a tooth-<strong>by</strong>- right? The truth is, anyone can put a pink ribbon on a product<br />
tooth exam to check the pockets and spaces and claim the proceeds go to the cause. That's why being in-<br />
between the teeth and gums. If these examinaformed is crucial, says Caroline Wall, of the Susan G. Komen<br />
tions 2are not done, find another dentist. Breast Cancer Foundation in Dallas. ªIt's not enough to buy a<br />
Clean teeth with an electronic toothbrush, pink ribbon to support breast cancer research; you should<br />
preferably one like a Sonicare, which know where your money is going,º she says. ªWe want con-<br />
spins 100 times faster than manual brands sumers to be savvy with their purchases.º<br />
and 3removes plaque much more effectively.<br />
The Komen Foundation uses 75 percent of every dollar<br />
Brush your tongue. Try a scraper from<br />
spent on pink ribbon purchases for breast cancer awareness<br />
your local pharmacy. It will remove<br />
and research efforts. Before you make a pink ribbon purchase,<br />
plaque from the crevices of your tongue and<br />
ask a few questions:<br />
give 4you fresher breath.<br />
Is the company committed? Check the company's Web site<br />
or call the phone number to see if it's legit.<br />
Flossing is imperative as plaque be-<br />
How is the program structured? Be clear how much money<br />
tween teeth can harden, causing infec-<br />
will go to charity.<br />
tion 5and bone loss.<br />
Who does the program benefit? A reputable program should<br />
Try rinsing prior to cleaning teeth with<br />
explain how money raised will be used. Find out if it goes to<br />
a brush. It will remove some of the<br />
research, education, community programs or all of the above.<br />
soft bacteria and loosen plaque.<br />
Is the program meaningful? Ask yourself if you believe in<br />
ÐDonnette Dunbar<br />
the cause. ÐJoy Sewing
Quiet<br />
Moments<br />
Lead to Heart<br />
Health<br />
When a doctor came<br />
to Phillisa Scott's junior<br />
high in Augusta,<br />
Georgia, in 2000 to conduct<br />
a study on meditation<br />
and its preventive effects on<br />
heart disease, she figured<br />
her small<br />
frame at 5 feet<br />
and 110 pounds<br />
would make her<br />
invulnerable to<br />
risk. She was<br />
surprised when<br />
she was picked<br />
for the study.<br />
Scott attributed it<br />
to invisible stress<br />
from her environment,<br />
peer<br />
pressure and a<br />
new school.<br />
The eightmonth<br />
study<br />
showed 15-minute<br />
meditation<br />
Factoid: Smoke a nd you' ll die young.<br />
sessions twice a day resulted in a 21<br />
percent improvement in the artery's<br />
ability to dilate and decrease blood<br />
pressure. The students, all black<br />
teens, wore 24-hour monitors;<br />
those who did not meditate had increased<br />
risk of heart disease.<br />
Now the positive effects of<br />
meditation are being noticed<br />
nationwide. Los Angeles cardiolo-<br />
Go to TM.org<br />
to sign up<br />
for a 6-day<br />
course<br />
to learn<br />
transcendental<br />
meditation.<br />
gist C. Noel Bairey<br />
Merz, M.D., says<br />
he believes ªwomen<br />
and African<br />
Americans suffer<br />
disproportionately<br />
from high blood<br />
pressure, so medi-<br />
tation may be particularly relevant.<br />
I have seen patients lower blood<br />
pressure using meditation.º<br />
Carolyn Gaylord-King, senior<br />
researcher for Natural Medicine<br />
and Prevention at Maharishi University<br />
of Management in Fairfield,<br />
Iowa, has also witnessed meditation's<br />
power. ªPeople report they<br />
are sick less often with transcendental<br />
meditation (TM). They are<br />
less depressed and even improve<br />
their relationships,º she says. ªWe<br />
did a study involving TM that<br />
showed it may even expand your<br />
lifespan.ºÐ Ericka Blount Danois<br />
Put Cucumbers on the Menu. Cucumbers are<br />
more than just green and crunchy. With tons of<br />
hidden health benefits, they may just be nature's<br />
perfect vegetable! The scoop:<br />
· Full of fiber to lower your cholesterol<br />
· Potassium rich to regulate your blood pressure<br />
· A low-calorie, low-sugar choice<br />
· Made up of 95 percent water, making<br />
them great thirst quenchers.<br />
Women who die of smoking-related diseases cut 14.5 years off their lives.<br />
Patch Pointers<br />
If you are one of the millions<br />
of women who use the Ortho<br />
Evra birth control patch, the<br />
recent report of increased risk of<br />
death may have alarmed you.<br />
Before you pull the plug on the<br />
patch, however, it's important to<br />
know the facts.<br />
Yes, hormonal contraceptives,<br />
like the patch, carry a<br />
small riskof causing blood clots.<br />
As a result, women with medical<br />
histories that include conditions<br />
like heart disease, hypertension,<br />
stroke or blood clots<br />
should avoid hormonal contraceptives<br />
(i.e., the patch and the<br />
pill), says Yvonne S. Thornton,<br />
M.D., a professor of obstetrics<br />
and gynecology at Weill Medical<br />
College of Cornell University.<br />
What hasn't been proved,<br />
says Dr. Thornton, is that the<br />
patch poses more danger in<br />
women who are not otherwise at<br />
risk of these ailments. The bigger<br />
issue, according to Dr.<br />
Thornton, is whether a woman is<br />
a smoker or regularly exposed<br />
to secondhand smoke, which<br />
in combination with hormone<br />
birth control, increases<br />
the risk of<br />
serious cardiovascular<br />
problems. Smoking is<br />
nothing to kid around<br />
with, she says. Women who<br />
use hormonal contraceptives<br />
shouldn't be waitresses in<br />
smoky bars or clubs, and they<br />
should be mindful of allowing<br />
people to smoke around them,<br />
including their boyfriends.<br />
ÐKennedy Spencer<br />
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 · HEARTANDSOUL.COM 17<br />
YOU, FIRST!
YOU, FIRST!<br />
Listen Up!<br />
Ba<strong>by</strong> boomers, are you listening?<br />
Experts say one in 10 AmericansÐmore<br />
than 28 millionÐ<br />
live with some degree of hearing loss.<br />
This is especially true for boomers, who<br />
are dealt a double whammy of living in<br />
loud environments and increasing age.<br />
But there is hope.<br />
Newer hearing aids are smaller and<br />
more efficient, says David Citron, an audiologist<br />
with the South Shore Hearing<br />
101 Ba<strong>by</strong> Blues<br />
Nearly all new mothers<br />
experience the ba<strong>by</strong><br />
blues, a two- to three-week<br />
period of mood swings after<br />
giving birth. But if your<br />
symptoms don't go awayÐ<br />
or if they seem like more<br />
than just a little sadnessÐ<br />
you could be experiencing<br />
postpartum depression.<br />
Center in Weymouth, Massachusetts.<br />
Know the signs (below)<br />
ªOld hearing aids boosted all sounds<br />
and talk to your physician.<br />
equally, even those someone with a<br />
· Restlessness, irritability<br />
hearing loss could easily hear. If some-<br />
· Lack of energy<br />
one clapped their hands or dropped use a a small tube in the ear to boost · Trouble focusing or<br />
dish it would be overamplified to thesound.º<br />
making decisions<br />
person wearing a hearing aid,º Citron Wondering about your own hearing? · Sadness, excessive<br />
explains, adding that digital hearing aids Citron says an evaluation <strong>by</strong> an audiolo- crying<br />
boost softer frequency sounds oftengist<br />
will determine if there is hearing<br />
· Lack of interest in the<br />
ba<strong>by</strong><br />
missed.<br />
loss and what is causing the problem.<br />
· Feelings of guilt and<br />
Traditional hearing aids were bulky He estimates that almost 20 percent of<br />
being overwhelmed<br />
and acted as a plug in the ear. ªThe hear- hearing loss is caused <strong>by</strong> a medical prob- · Excessive anxiety about<br />
ing aid would actually block out some lem of such as an ear infection. Want to the ba<strong>by</strong> being harmed<br />
the sounds the patient could normallylearn<br />
more? Visit the consumer page at · Not being able to sleep<br />
hear,º Citron says. ªBut some digital aidsaudiology.org.<br />
ÐBeverly James when the ba<strong>by</strong> sleeps<br />
· No interest in activities<br />
you once enjoyed.<br />
Take Care ofYour Kidneys<br />
A<br />
frican-Americans are four<br />
times more likely than their<br />
white counterparts to experience<br />
kidney failure. But just because<br />
you have pain in your back, or on your<br />
side, doesn't mean you have kidney<br />
disease. So don't rush to the emergency<br />
room. ªIn fact, kidney failure<br />
doesn't even hurt,º says Randall W.<br />
Maxey, M.D., a California-based kidney<br />
specialist and president of the Alliance<br />
of Minority Medical Associations.<br />
But you should be concerned about<br />
kidney disease, says Dr. Maxey, if you<br />
Factoid: You can lower moderately high blood<br />
pressure <strong>by</strong> 10 points just <strong>by</strong> losing 20 pounds.<br />
18 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
have diabetes or hypertension. ªPeople<br />
who have a family history of diabetes,<br />
high blood pressureÐthose are<br />
the people at risk for kidney disease,<br />
and those are the people who need to<br />
take special care,º he says.<br />
So the most important thing you<br />
can do is learn about the medical conditions<br />
of your parents, grandparents,<br />
aunts and uncles. Then talk to your<br />
family about practicing a healthy<br />
lifestyle: keeping weight under control<br />
<strong>by</strong> eating properly; avoiding foods<br />
high in calories or saturated fat; exer-<br />
cising several times a week; staying<br />
well-hydrated <strong>by</strong> drinking adequate<br />
amounts of fluids; and avoiding toxic<br />
substances such as alcohol and drugs.<br />
Dr. Maxey also suggests making sure<br />
family members have their blood pressure<br />
taken at least twice a year.<br />
ªKidneys are like the filter of the<br />
body,º he says. ªWhatever is going in<br />
your body that is toxic has an effect on<br />
your kidneys. If you aim at keeping<br />
your whole body healthy, then your<br />
kidneys will be okay.º<br />
ÐLottie L. Joiner
Jump on ItTrampolines are more<br />
popular than everÐand with good reason:<br />
As part of a well-balanced exercise routine,<br />
bouncing on a trampoline can be<br />
good for balance, flexibility and overall fitness.<br />
Even better, it provides these benefits<br />
without the pounding of some<br />
high-impact workouts. In fact, according<br />
to the experts, jumping on trampolines<br />
can produce cardiovascular, caloric and<br />
load bearing effects equal to running.<br />
Therapy Rising<br />
A<br />
llison Easter wasn't in crisis:<br />
She simply lacked joy. In her<br />
20s, an accomplished dancer with<br />
the whole world ahead of her, she<br />
was spiritless. ªI always thought if I<br />
was working, I would be happy,º<br />
she says. ªBut when my work life<br />
was starting to come along, I was<br />
still really depressed.º<br />
Easter rose from her gloom <strong>by</strong><br />
doing then what a growing number<br />
But with the apparatus' popularity has also come an increased risk of injury,<br />
some severe enough to warrant emergency room visits. Before jumping for joy,<br />
keep these tips, from the Consumer Product Safety Commission, in mind: of young women are doing today:<br />
·Only one person should use the trampoline at a time.<br />
working it out with therapy.<br />
·Don't do somersaults.<br />
ªThere's been a shift in the self-<br />
·Don't allow children younger than 6 to use a full-sized trampoline. help movement,º says Audrey B.<br />
·Make sure there is adult supervision. ÐKendra Lee Chapman, Ph.D., family<br />
therapist and auderwood,<br />
M.D., president of the As-<br />
Got Coffee?<br />
sociation of Black Cardiologists, we<br />
thor of Getting Good<br />
Loving: The Seven<br />
Ways to Find and<br />
shouldn't ban coffee yet. ªThis study Make Love Last. ªPeo-<br />
<strong>To</strong> drink or not to drinkÐ is saying drinking a lot of coffee over ple know they don't<br />
is that the question? an extended period can stiffen bloodhave<br />
to suffer in si-<br />
It is if you're a coffee drinker. For vessels,º he says. ªNo participant in lence. It doesn't mean<br />
the millions who jumpstart the daythe<br />
study actually becomes afflictedthey're<br />
crazy if they<br />
with a bolt of liquid caffeine, the an- with cardiovascular disease. At this reach out.º<br />
swers can't come fast enough. Scienpoint<br />
it's just information.º<br />
Chapman partly<br />
tists are scrambling for information, There's no doubt the nutritional credits the era of<br />
but it may not make the throng ofvalue<br />
of coffee is a mixed brew. Caf- Oprah, where living your best life is<br />
Starbucks devotees happy. feine can interfere with iron and cal- the medicine of the day. ªInstead of<br />
cium absorption and make some unleashing attitudes or overeating,<br />
people anxious, as well as cause an ir- some black women are learning to<br />
regular heartbeat. Some experts say iron out personal issues. They also<br />
coffee leads to higher blood pressure. have greater access and the finan-<br />
But caffeine also stimulates the releasecial<br />
means to afford help.º<br />
of fat so the body can burn it for en- According to Therapy in America<br />
ergy, and two recent studies showed 2004, a survey conducted for Psy-<br />
coffee may lower the risk of colon and chology <strong>To</strong>day and PacifiCare Be-<br />
liver cancers. Other studies suggest havioral Health, 27 percent, or an<br />
coffee drinkers may be at decreasedestimated<br />
59 million people, have<br />
risk for several major diseases, includ- received psychological treatment in<br />
ing Parkinson's and diabetes.<br />
the past two years. Most were satis-<br />
Many health-care providers say fied with the results.<br />
A recent University of Athens limit coffee to three cups a day. But Easter sure is. On-and-off ther-<br />
study found coffee drinkers hadDr.<br />
Underwood says, ªEven for my apy for the last 10 years has helped<br />
more stiffness of blood vessels, a riskpatients<br />
who already have cardiovas- her gain a stronger perspective<br />
factor for developing strokes andcular<br />
disease, I don't recommend about herself. ªThere's always more<br />
heart attacks, than non-drinkers. they modify their coffee consump- to learn,º she says. ªIt's like contin-<br />
But this coffee conundrum isn't tion. This study doesn't change my uing education, you want to keep<br />
conclusive. According to Paul Un- view on that.ºÐJacqueline Y. Metcalfe your skills up.º ÐStacy Gilliam<br />
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 · HEARTANDSOUL.COM 19<br />
YOU, FIRST!
Must-DoList!<br />
Now here are some healthy, wealthy and wise choices worth checkin<br />
Contact the American<br />
Heart Association<br />
for more information<br />
about what you can do to<br />
prevent heart attacks and<br />
heart disease, the No. 1 killer of<br />
women: americanheart.org<br />
February 4-5<br />
Stock up on chocolate<br />
at the Chocolate Lovers<br />
Festival in Fairfax, Virginia.<br />
chocolatefestival.net<br />
·See a musical! ·<br />
Buy condoms.<br />
National Condom Day<br />
is February 14.<br />
Get your<br />
Mardi Gras on<br />
at the Birmingham Civil Rights<br />
Institute Fifth Annual Mardi<br />
Gras Celebration.<br />
bcri.org<br />
Learn all there is to know<br />
about feeding your newborn<br />
in Katherine Barber's<br />
The Black Woman's Guide<br />
to Breastfeeding.<br />
Share the gift of knowledge for<br />
Black History Month and Women's<br />
History Month .<br />
Get the latest healthy eating<br />
tips from the American Dietetic<br />
Association.<br />
Work on your green<br />
thumbat the Philadelphia<br />
Flower Show March 5-12.<br />
theflowershow.com.<br />
Find out if you're at risk for diabetes on March 22Ð<br />
American Diabetes Alert Day.<br />
20 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
Let loose during<br />
March Madness!<br />
Dance away<br />
the pounds.<br />
Jot down your<br />
mental notes or<br />
happy thoughts!
living<br />
healthy<br />
wealthy<br />
&wise<br />
YES<br />
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NATURAL BEAUTY<br />
Beat the<br />
Clock<br />
BeautyBy<br />
Julia Chance<br />
Who says that getting gorgeous has to be a major project? Time-saving strategies<br />
22 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006
PHOTO BY ROB MELNYCHUK/GETTYIMAGES<br />
Gorgeous Skin<br />
in Seconds<br />
giving good face: black eyeliner andMaster<br />
stylist Derrick Scurry<br />
mascara, well-shaped brows and agrees. a ªFind an easy style that re-<br />
luscious shade of lipstick.<br />
quires the least amount of mainte-<br />
Generally, ªPoor skin care means Another way to cut time, says nance,º he advises. An important time<br />
that you have to do more on a daily makeup pro Sam Fine, is <strong>by</strong> refiningsaver,<br />
both say, is to prepare your<br />
basis to camouflage imperfections,º your technique to focus on what youtresses<br />
for great style the night before.<br />
says Dawn Burrows, director of Body can easily correct or enhance. ªDecideThat<br />
means moisturizing and con-<br />
Essential Day Spa and Ayurevedic inwhat<br />
part of your face you need toditioning<br />
your hair as necessary, set-<br />
New York. So it's imperative that you spend the most time on.º If underting it for your specific style and<br />
maintain your skin on a regular basiseye<br />
circles are your issue, Fine says, wrapping it securely with a silk or<br />
to avoid spending precious time in the make camouflaging them your priorsatin<br />
scarf to keep it neat while you<br />
morning doing damage control. For ity. ªIf you don't have time to layer onsleep.<br />
ªWhen you get up all you'll<br />
problem skin, seek help from a der- eye shadow, make sure your brows are have to do is style it into place and<br />
matologist or esthetician for com- groomed.º<br />
go,º Scurry says.<br />
plexion clearing advice.<br />
Condition your hair as you style<br />
<strong>To</strong> really save time, says Maria<br />
with L’Oral Technique Nature’s Therapy<br />
Brito of the Home Spa in Brooklyn, ªA lot of<br />
Mega Moisture Nurturing Cream ($11.99;<br />
New York, ªkeep your facial cleanser<br />
Sally Beauty Company).<br />
on hand in the shower to wash your women get<br />
face as you bathe.º Save the specialty bogged down Nailing It<br />
treatments, like masks, deep cleansers<br />
and multistep exfoliators, for evenings trying to emulate Quickly<br />
or weekends, Brito says. ªYou don't what they see Sure, long perfectly polished nails<br />
have time in the morning to exfoliate<br />
look pretty, but they can slow you<br />
or wait for a mask to dry.º on celebrities down. ªA lot of time is spent on pre-<br />
Come clean with Kinerase Pro or women in serving and caring for long nails,º says<br />
Therapy Skin Smoothing Cleanser<br />
Erika Kirkland, manicurist and owner<br />
($39; kinerase.com)with an exfoliat- videos.º of Pretty Inside beauty emporium in<br />
ing formula to help remove dead skin<br />
Brooklyn.<br />
cells. Give dry skin and lips a quick<br />
Make your nails pretty and practi-<br />
hit of moisture with Palmer’s Shea But- For flawless coverage and oil concal.<br />
ªDetermine what shape and<br />
ter Formula Swivel Stick ($3.25; drugtrol in a snap, try Cover Girl Queen Col- length is least cumbersome for you to<br />
stores).lection<br />
Powder Foundation, available in maintain,º Kirkland says. If you expe-<br />
Makeupon<br />
the Move<br />
nine shades ($6.49; drugstores). Cut rience repeated breakage on other-<br />
makeup time in half with Trucco Longwise healthy nails, consider changing<br />
wear Paints ($16; sebastian.com),long- their length or shape. When selecting<br />
lasting, versatile cream colors that can an everyday polish, ªstick with light<br />
Spending an inordinate amount of be worn on eyes, lips and cheeks. colors rather than darker shades<br />
time putting on your makeup in theKeep<br />
lashes long and lovely with So- where chipping shows up more eas-<br />
morning? Perhaps the look you're gonia Kashuk Lashify ($7.99; Target), a ily,º Kirkland recommends. Also, coning<br />
for is impractical for everydaymascara<br />
with a built-in comb to sepsider<br />
sheer and shimmery shades.<br />
wear, says veteran makeup artist Roxarate<br />
and define lashes.<br />
ªThey dry quickly and are easier to<br />
anna Floyd. ªA lot of women get<br />
bogged down trying to emulate what Great Hair<br />
they see on celebrities or women in<br />
videos.º While those looks may bein<br />
a Hurry<br />
touch up in a pinch.º<br />
When you don't have time for a<br />
proper manicure, brush on Barielle<br />
Natural Nail Camouflage ($16; drug-<br />
fine for a night out on the town, when Many of us are guilty of attemptstores) . You can keep your hands and<br />
minutes count Floyd recommends ing a mane makeover within minutes cuticles moisturized with Lippman Col-<br />
makeup that's pared down and clean. before we step out of the house. ªYou lection’s Rich Girl anti-aging hand and cu-<br />
Use foundation to even out impershouldn't<br />
spend the morning curlingticle<br />
cream with SPF 25 ($24; sephora.<br />
fections where necessary. ªIf you have or straightening your hair, or trying to com).<br />
skin that's in good condition, you canreproduce<br />
your salon style,º says hair<br />
get away with a tinted moisturizer,º pro Craig Carter of Carlos Lobos Sa- Julia Chance is a freelance writer and author<br />
Floyd says. Her sure-fire essentials for lon in New York City.<br />
based in Brooklyn, New York.<br />
s can shorten your beauty routine to get you out the door with time to spare.<br />
HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 2 3
Beauty<br />
NATURAL BEAUTY f<br />
News<br />
It's almost Spring. Shake<br />
off the winter blahs with these<br />
beautifying pick-me-ups.<br />
ask amanda<br />
Q: I work out 3 or 4 times a week. What©s the best<br />
way to maintain the health and style of my hair?<br />
AWhen working out drink lots of water, not only to keep your body hydrated,<br />
but your hair and scalp, too. Wrapping or pinning hair up off<br />
the neck and back from the hairline can help keep the scalp cool, which<br />
may reduce moisture (aka sweat!) from saturating your 'do. Natural styles<br />
or braids can minimize the stress on the hair from working out and can be<br />
a bit easier to maintain. For relaxed styles, let hair dry completely before<br />
curling or straightening it out again, always remembering to keep heating<br />
tool surfaces clean to avoid breakage. Hair doesn't lose any of its nutrients<br />
from the moisture produced from working out, but it is important to<br />
use a good leave-in conditioner and keep up with regular maintenance!<br />
HAVE QUESTIONS?<br />
Email Amanda Mack at beautyeditor@heartandsoul.com.<br />
24 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
Slough off that dry, flaky skin<br />
with a spa treat such as the <strong>To</strong>tal<br />
Serenity Ultimate Body Polish<br />
offered at the <strong>To</strong>tal Serenity Day<br />
& Hair Spa in Philadelphia.<br />
(totalserenitydayspa.com)<br />
Paint your toenails a vivid<br />
orange. Try OPI©s <strong>To</strong>tally<br />
Tangerine nail lacquer.<br />
Restore the moisture in your<br />
hair. Drench it in a deep conditioner<br />
that will bring dull strands<br />
back to life. We like Barry Fletcher©s<br />
Moisture Therapy Cool Revitalizing<br />
Conditioner.(barryfletcher.com)<br />
Spritz on an uplifting fruity<br />
fragrance. Try DKNY Be Delicious,<br />
a juicy scent inspired <strong>by</strong> apples<br />
and exotic flowers.<br />
Beauty<br />
Click:<br />
Visiting a Sephora<br />
store is like being a<br />
kid in a candy<br />
store. I've discovered<br />
that<br />
sephora.com<br />
is equally as sweet.<br />
Over 230 makeup,<br />
fragrance and skin<br />
care brands right at<br />
your perfectly manicured<br />
fingertips!<br />
HOW TO WEAR IT:<br />
Red<br />
lipstick<br />
Vampy, classic, delicious!<br />
Nothing beats crimson<br />
lips. But not all ru<strong>by</strong>-hued<br />
lipsticks are the same. <strong>To</strong><br />
get your pucker perfect,<br />
start with these makeup<br />
do's:<br />
Do:Some reds are bluebased<br />
while others have<br />
more orange or yellow. Try<br />
a few different shades until<br />
you find the one that<br />
works.<br />
Do:Line lips with a lip<br />
liner similar to the lipstick.<br />
(Put the dark liner down!)<br />
Do:<strong>To</strong>p with a sealer to<br />
keep the red off the drinking<br />
glasses and where it<br />
belongs... on your lips.<br />
Do:Let your lips do the<br />
talking. Pair attention-getting<br />
lips with neutral<br />
cheek and eye color.<br />
Do:Make Up For Ever<br />
Lip Plus Lipstick Sealer,<br />
$17 (sephora.com). Iman<br />
Luxury Moisturizing Lipstick<br />
in Ru<strong>by</strong>, $12.50<br />
(imanbeauty.com).
STAR STYLE<br />
<strong>by</strong> marcia caster<br />
· What do you use to glam up?<br />
T<br />
araji P. Henson knows how When I’m feelin’ flirty, I’ll put on<br />
to hustle and flow. A mas- mascara and some eye color. I have a lot<br />
ter multitasker, she can of MAC eye shadows, but I love Scott<br />
decorate while encouragBarnes<br />
Eye Ice in funky colors. He used<br />
ing her 11-year-old son to ªtry, try to do Jennifer Lopez’s makeup and now<br />
againº to solve a homework probhe<br />
has his own line. It’s a silky glistening<br />
lem. See her on the big screen this powder that’s soft in every way and the<br />
month in not just one, but two sparkles are just right.<br />
films—the romantic comedy·<br />
What beauty differences have you<br />
Something Newith Sanaa La- noticed between East and West Coast<br />
than and Smokin' Aceswith Ben women?<br />
Affleck and Alicia Keys. ªI<br />
My L.A. sisters made me love<br />
am truly blessed,º says<br />
my natural hair! Oooh! I just<br />
Henson, who’s come a<br />
long way since she ªMy L.A.<br />
left the streets of sisters made<br />
Washington, D.C., me love my<br />
love it! I used a relaxer for 26<br />
years living in D.C. If I saw<br />
a bit of new growth, I was<br />
running to straighten it<br />
for the red carpets of<br />
Los Angeles, armed<br />
with a toddler and<br />
natural<br />
hair!º<br />
out. Now I love my soft<br />
spring coil curls. The trick<br />
to rockin’ a natural is finding<br />
$700. Despite living life on<br />
the right products. Just because<br />
fast forward, she still takes time to something works for your girl, doesn’t<br />
tend to self. ªMy bathroom looks mean it’ll work for you.<br />
like one big science project!º Here’s · Have you found the right mix?<br />
how she keeps the look fabulous— Hair stylist Valerie Harrell knew the<br />
whether she’s in movie right combination for me. She works with<br />
star or mommy mode. Holly Robinson Peete. She mixes condi-<br />
· What's your daily skin tioners. For me, she uses Matrix Biolage<br />
regimen?<br />
Fortifying Conditioner, Phyto Karite<br />
I don’t have problem Conditioner and Kimble Hair Care Sys-<br />
skin, so I wash my face tems Ginger Cream Conditioner.<br />
with a sponge and use·<br />
Do you wear weaves?<br />
something mild like I wore a weave for about a year while<br />
Cetaphil. I also use an filming Hustle & Flow and Four Brothers .<br />
organic vitamin C toner. Whenever I have a weave, I just make<br />
When my skin gets dry sure that I get it redone every 4 weeks.<br />
Henson's and flaky during the winter, I use a Paul · Any nutrition and exercise tips?<br />
pamper palace,<br />
Belle Visage<br />
Spa. Kimble's<br />
Scerri exfoliator from the Belle Visage I work out, but I’m not a fanatic about<br />
Spa in Studio City. I try to get a facial it. I slack off in the wintertime; it’s the<br />
Ginger Cream<br />
Conditioner<br />
ªsmells so<br />
delicious, you<br />
there once a month, but it usually doesn’t season for eating. I’m lucky I have a fast<br />
work out that way.<br />
metabolism, but I like curves. I wish I<br />
· Do you wear makeup off screen? could be a little thicker. I say eat what you<br />
want to eat it!º<br />
On an off day, I might wear some maswant<br />
in moderation. No one said you<br />
cara. But every day I wear Blistex Lip couldn’t have peach cobbler; just don’t eat<br />
Medix. I have a little tub in every pocketthe<br />
whole thing. But make mine<br />
book.<br />
mode with vanilla Hagen-Daz!<br />
26 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
She’s Got It Goin’On!<br />
PHOTO: FREDERICK M. BROWN/GETTYIMAGES ENTERTAINMENT
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28 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
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BODY CLINIC f<br />
Sexy Shoulders;<br />
<strong>To</strong>nedArms<br />
<strong>by</strong> mocha lee and tanji johnson<br />
It can be hard to stay motivated midway<br />
between that New Year's resolution to<br />
shape up and springtime, when the coats<br />
and sweaters come off.<br />
Fitness pro Mocha Lee has three<br />
tried-and-true moves that are great for<br />
shaping your upper body.<br />
Both the Girl Pushup and the Full-<br />
Body Pushup prime your chest and triceps,<br />
as well as tone your abdominal<br />
muscles. The Triceps Dip is an easy way<br />
to strengthen and tone the largest<br />
muscle of the upper arm.<strong>To</strong>ning<br />
your triceps will go a<br />
long way to getting you<br />
sundress ready.<br />
Give these<br />
moves a try<br />
three times a<br />
week. Coupled<br />
with moderate<br />
cardiovascular exercise<br />
at least four<br />
times a week and a<br />
balanced diet, you<br />
should see and<br />
feel a difference<br />
in four to six<br />
weeks.<br />
Fitness Pro<br />
Tanji Johnson,<br />
left, Mocha Lee,<br />
contributing<br />
editor.<br />
32 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006
FIT BITS f<br />
Fitnessfor Everyone<br />
Call the kids and push the<br />
coffee table aside! A new<br />
video <strong>by</strong> Boston fitness pro<br />
Brandy Cruthird will get<br />
everybody in the house fit.<br />
Cruthird and the South<br />
End Community Health<br />
Center produced ªThe<br />
House Is Getting Fitº<br />
($19.99), part of a pedi-<br />
atric weight manage-<br />
ment program that<br />
encourages parents to lead <strong>by</strong> example.<br />
Cruthird, owner of Body <strong>by</strong> Brandy Fitness Cen-<br />
ter and a physical education teacher, creates a<br />
laid-back, funky vibe and easy-to-follow chore-<br />
ography. The kids in the video are bursting<br />
with energy and attitude, while Mom and Dad<br />
show them how to do ªthe Snakeº and ªthe<br />
Thrillerº with more old-school style. <strong>To</strong> order,<br />
visit body<strong>by</strong>brandy.com or call 888-599-2639.<br />
Where Can You FindHeart<br />
Benefits?<br />
We'll say it again : You don't need to bust<br />
a Billy Blanks sweat to make serious<br />
strides toward improving your heart health.<br />
A recent study published in the journal<br />
CHEST supports previous findings that shorter,<br />
low-intensity workouts are just as effective in<br />
improving aerobic fitness and reducing the risk<br />
of heart disease. When 133 overweight and<br />
sedentary men and women were divided into<br />
groups of walkers and joggers, the study found<br />
that those who worked harder didn't get any<br />
fitter than those who walked.<br />
That's not to say that moderate intensity<br />
exercise is all you need. Increasing the time<br />
you exercise and how long you work can yield<br />
additional benefits, like weight loss and<br />
improved cardiovascular fitness.<br />
34 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
But for people who are<br />
in good health, it's usually<br />
okay to ease into both<br />
cardio and strength training.<br />
There's no need to<br />
push yourself too hard too<br />
quickly; you run the risk<br />
of getting discouraged<br />
and derailing your program<br />
with extreme soreness<br />
and injury.<br />
Your goal will be to do<br />
4 to 6 days of moderate<br />
cardiovascular exercise<br />
and 2 to 3 days of<br />
strength training per<br />
week, but it's fine to start<br />
off with such workouts as<br />
a kickboxing class or a fitness<br />
video that includes 10 or 15<br />
Ask Nichele minutes of toning moves. After<br />
about six weeks, add two 20-<br />
Fitness Editor Nichele minute toning workouts, like the<br />
Hoskins answers your ones featured in this month's<br />
fitness questions<br />
Body Shaping (page 32). Just be<br />
sure to allow a day of rest between<br />
strength workouts.<br />
and have been inactive for about a Cardio and strength training<br />
year. Can I start doing cardiovascu- work together to help you burn<br />
lar exercise and weight lifting, or more calories than either one<br />
should I introduce strength training would alone. The most impor-<br />
later on?<br />
tant thing is that your fitness<br />
A<br />
I'm glad you're motivated program is designed to keep you<br />
and thinking about howmotivated.<br />
For more detailed ad-<br />
to design your new fitvice, consult with a trusted<br />
ness program. The more caretrainer<br />
or fitness instructor at<br />
fully you plan, the more likely your gym who is certified <strong>by</strong> a<br />
you are to meet your goals. Some national fitness organization like<br />
very sedentary, very obese people ACSM, AFAA or ACE. And<br />
and those with medical andpump<br />
your fitness knowledge <strong>by</strong><br />
physical limitations are often adreading<br />
Strong Women Stay Slim<br />
vised <strong>by</strong> their physicians to begin <strong>by</strong> Miriam Nelson. It has solid<br />
with walking only to get their fitness information for real<br />
body accustomed to moving women that can help you set and<br />
gradually.<br />
meet your fitness goals.<br />
QI am about 40 pounds overweight<br />
Got a fitness question? Send it to ªAsk Nicheleº at<br />
fitnesseditor@heartandsoul.com.
34_Fit Bits 12/16/05 6:25 AM Page 2<br />
FIT BITS f<br />
Fitnessfor Everyo<br />
Call the kids and push the<br />
coffee table aside! A new<br />
video <strong>by</strong> Boston fitness pro<br />
Brandy Cruthird will get<br />
everybody in the house fit.<br />
Cruthird and the South<br />
End Community Health<br />
Center produced ªThe<br />
House Is Getting Fitº<br />
($19.99), part of a pedi-<br />
atric weight manage-<br />
ment program that<br />
encourages parents to lead <strong>by</strong> example.<br />
Cruthird, owner of Body <strong>by</strong> Brandy Fitness Cen-<br />
ter and a physical education teacher, creates a<br />
laid-back, funky vibe and easy-to-follow chore-<br />
ography. The kids in the video are bursting<br />
with energy and attitude, while Mom and Dad<br />
show them how to do ªthe Snakeº and ªthe<br />
Thrillerº with more old-school style. <strong>To</strong> order,<br />
visit body<strong>by</strong>brandy.com or call 888-599-2639.<br />
Where Can You FindHeart<br />
Benefits?<br />
We'll say it again : You don't need to bust<br />
a Billy Blanks sweat to make serious<br />
strides toward improving your heart health.<br />
A recent study published in the journal<br />
CHEST supports previous findings that shorter,<br />
low-intensity workouts are just as effective in<br />
improving aerobic fitness and reducing the risk<br />
of heart disease. When 133 overweight and<br />
sedentary men and women were divided into<br />
groups of walkers and joggers, the study found<br />
that those who worked harder didn't get any<br />
fitter than those who walked.<br />
That's not to say that moderate intensity<br />
exercise is all you need. Increasing the time<br />
Ask Nichele<br />
nes<br />
min<br />
abo<br />
Fitness Editor Nichele min<br />
Hoskins answers your one<br />
fitness questions<br />
Bod<br />
sure<br />
twe<br />
and have been inactive for about a C<br />
year. Can I start doing cardiovascu- wor<br />
lar exercise and weight lifting, or mo<br />
should I introduce strength training wou<br />
later on?<br />
tan<br />
A<br />
I'm glad you're motivated pro<br />
and thinking about howmo<br />
to design your new fit- vice<br />
ness program. The more caretrai<br />
fully you plan, the more likely you<br />
you are to meet your goals. Some nat<br />
very sedentary, very obese people ACS<br />
and those with medical andpum<br />
physical limitations are often adrea<br />
vised <strong>by</strong> their physicians to begin <strong>by</strong> M<br />
with walking only to get their fitn<br />
body accustomed to moving wom<br />
QI am about 40 pounds overweight
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y kennedy spencer<br />
Lisa* believes in<br />
keeping the spark<br />
alive in her marriage.<br />
From the<br />
beginning, she and her<br />
husband of seven years,<br />
Robert*, enjoyed a very active<br />
sex life, sometimes delighting in<br />
each other's pleasures several times a<br />
day. ªI believe you should be sexy for<br />
your man,º she says. ªIt used to be<br />
nothing for Robert to arrive home<br />
to find me cooking dinner, wearing<br />
only my G-string and pumps.º<br />
But after the birth of the couple's<br />
son, everything changed.<br />
What used to be a daily, highly anticipated<br />
event became a once-a-<br />
36 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
NATURAL HEALING f<br />
Natural<br />
Libido<br />
Boosters<br />
Put the snap, crackle, pop and<br />
sizzle back in your love life.
month, only-because-you-keep-bugwas<br />
nothing sexy about my life. I washad<br />
to go back to what it was like<br />
ging-me chore. Lisa found herselfsleep<br />
deprived, and <strong>by</strong> the time my during our courting phase and relive<br />
faced with the challenges of a new husband walked in the door, I was deit<br />
in my mind. I began buying lingerie<br />
ba<strong>by</strong>, eight weeks of post-pregnancy pleted.º<br />
and entertaining fantasies.º<br />
discharge and an unflattering body Dr. Hutcherson has spent the last6Go<br />
for honey, chocolate and<br />
image.<br />
20 years working with women with oysters.Believe it or not, chem-<br />
ªBreastfeeding left my breastsstories<br />
like Lisa and Kim. The good ically speaking, these foods<br />
small and like dried prunes,º laments news is, in most cases, once all of the have the goods. How they work:<br />
Lisa, who bagged up much of her medical and emotional possibilities Honey is a super source of boron, a<br />
beloved lingerie and threw it away. ªI have been cleared, a lagging libido mineral can also found in green leafy veg-<br />
hated being nude in front of my husbe<br />
jump started. Here are 10 natural etables, fruits, legumes and nuts. It<br />
band, and I went to great lengths not ways to boost your libido that are justhelps<br />
the body process estrogen and<br />
to have sex because I didn't feel sexy; what I the doctor ordered to put the fire enhances the levels of testosterone.<br />
didn't want to be touched.º and desire back in your sex life. Chocolate contains chemicals that<br />
As it turned out, Lisa's lackluster 1Get adventurous. Dr. Hutcherson stimulate the transmission of nerve<br />
libido could be attributed to postpar- recommends women spice up impulses. And, finally, oysters are rich<br />
tum depression. Sex drive issues, their sex lives <strong>by</strong> opening their in zinc, which makes the sex-drive<br />
minds. Whether that means leavinghormone<br />
testosterone.<br />
the bedroom all together or bringing7Drink<br />
in moderation. Alcohol is a<br />
Libido<br />
toys, erotica or videos inside, she says double-edged sword because<br />
is greatly affected you should be open to new experi- even though it relaxes you and<br />
<strong>by</strong> what's going on ences.<br />
takes away your inhibitions, it can<br />
2Try massage. Massages work <strong>by</strong> also interfere with your ability to en-<br />
in your life.<br />
releasing the body's feel-goodjoy<br />
the sexual experience once it's un-<br />
chemicals, endorphins and oxyderway.tocins.<br />
These chemicals help you relax 8Stop smoking. Smoking causes<br />
however, affect millions of women for and make you want to bond with your blood vessels to constrict,<br />
a host of reasons, including heart dissomeone.<br />
including the ones that control<br />
ease, hypertension, high cholesterol, 3Get regular exercise. Physical ac- blood flow to your sexual organs. This<br />
birth control pills, thyroid problems tivity increases blood flow to theis<br />
blood flow that is needed to estab-<br />
and menopause.<br />
sexual organs and increases lish a and maintain proper lubrication<br />
According to Hilda Hutcherson, woman's level of testosterone, theduring<br />
sex.<br />
M.D., co-director of the New York hormone that works directly on the9Build<br />
your self-esteem and deal<br />
Center for Women's Sexual Health at brain to increase desire. Exercise also with emotional baggage.<br />
Columbia Pres<strong>by</strong>terian Medicalgives<br />
you increased stamina during Whether it's not liking the way<br />
Center, the main reasons women exsex.<br />
your body looks or believing that sex<br />
perience decreased libido are medical 4Watch your diet. Be mindful of is dirty, Dr. Hutcherson says you're<br />
problems, medication and relation- what you eat before your es- going to have to deal with your issues.<br />
ship issues.<br />
capades between the sheets. If you don't feel good about yourself,<br />
ªLibido is not stagnant,º explainsHigh-fat<br />
foods decrease testosterone it's going to be really hard to let<br />
Dr. Hutcherson, author of Pleasure: A levels and therefore libido. Sugary or someone in your space.<br />
Woman's Guide to Getting the Sex You high-carb foods like milk and cheese herbal remedies. Dr.<br />
Want, Need and Deserve (Putnam). ªIt can make you drowsy. Instead, try Hutcherson recommends<br />
changes week to week and situation strawberries, grapes or apples. 10Try<br />
two: Arginmax is an herbal<br />
to situation. Libido is greatly affected5Use<br />
fantasy. Your brain is your supplement that has been found to<br />
<strong>by</strong> what©s going on in your life.º largest sex organ, Dr. Hutcher- enhance women's sexual experience <strong>by</strong><br />
Case in point, stay-at-home mom son says. What it believes will improving circulation, and Zestra is a<br />
Kim* and her husband went as longbe<br />
true. Pretty much anything youpersonal<br />
lubricant.<br />
as eight months without having sex. believe is going to increase your desire * All names of couples have been<br />
ªI just had no desire for sex whatso- is going to increase your desire. changed.<br />
ever,º admits Kim, mother of three For Kim, this and an occasional<br />
young children, who during that timechocolate<br />
martini or two was her sav- Sexy, hot, fabulous and single,<br />
was dealing with both medical probing<br />
grace. ªI had to reconnect to myKennedy<br />
Spencer is looking for somelems<br />
and financial stressors. ªThereinner<br />
whore,º she says with a laugh. ªI one to ignite her libido.<br />
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 · HEARTANDSOUL.COM 37
REAL ISSUES REAL ANSWERS f<br />
Take Ba<strong>by</strong> Steps<br />
Clutter is anything you possess or<br />
do that doesn't enhance your life<br />
on a regular basis. And in this<br />
overstuffed society, most of us<br />
share Archibald's desire to declutter.<br />
Professional organizer Debra<br />
Schwartz teaches a four-week<br />
course, Clutter Into Clarity, at<br />
New York City's Open Center.<br />
She observes that our external<br />
space is a reflection of what's going<br />
on internally. ªWhen I walk<br />
into a home and there's a tremendous<br />
amount of clutter, I immediately<br />
know that somewhere<br />
within that person there's confusion,<br />
distraction and lack of focus,º<br />
says Schwartz, who uses<br />
feng shuiÐthe ancient Chinese<br />
art of placementÐto help her<br />
clients redesign and realign the<br />
energy of their surroundings.<br />
When de-cluttering, the practitioner<br />
says, even small changes make<br />
a big difference.<br />
For Archibald, Schwartz suggests<br />
she get up early and spend 20 minutes<br />
<strong>by</strong> tracy e. hopkins<br />
outside Washington, D.C., getting meditating. ªMeditation is an extraor-<br />
La<strong>To</strong>nya Archibald feels over- organized has become a monumental dinary practice and gift we can give to<br />
whelmed <strong>by</strong> the stacks of patask.<br />
Although the 36-year-old ourselves,º she says. ªIf we can do it<br />
pers and periodicals piled onstarted<br />
a system to put her children'son<br />
a daily basis, everything else flows<br />
her kitchen counter. ªI needschool<br />
papers in binders, daily houseout<br />
of that.º<br />
paper control,º says the stay-athold<br />
chores leave little time to finish <strong>To</strong> end Archibald's paper chase,<br />
home-mother of three.<br />
that organization project. ªI need aSchwartz<br />
advises sorting in intervals.<br />
Since moving with her husbandbetter<br />
time management system,º she ªTake 15 minutes during the day to<br />
and their kids to a five-bedroomsays.<br />
ªI want the best of both worlds: deal with that pile. Put a timer on and<br />
house in Charlotte, North Carolina, I want a clean house and time withsort<br />
the papers. When the timer goes<br />
from their two-bedroom apartmentmy<br />
family.º<br />
off, stop and do something else,º<br />
38 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
De-Clutter<br />
YourLife<br />
Stacks of old catalogs?<br />
Closets full of clothes you never wear? Learn<br />
to control your inner pack rat.
Schwartz says. ªTaking those little<br />
time slots stops you from feeling overwhelmed.º<br />
A self-proclaimed shopaholic in<br />
her mid-30s, Tanya Chesterfield sees<br />
a definite connection between clutter<br />
and disharmony. When she feels frenzied<br />
<strong>by</strong> the excess clothing she's accumulated,<br />
the web producer donates to<br />
charity and sells on eBay. ªThe more<br />
clutter you have around you, the more<br />
stressful your life is,º says the native of<br />
Long Island, New York. ªClutter<br />
stops me from thinking clearly and<br />
being happy. If you clear the clutter,<br />
you clear your mind.º<br />
Schwartz agrees that clearing clutter<br />
is cathartic and says that Chesterfield<br />
is on the right track. She<br />
recommends getting rid of excess<br />
clothes and kitsch <strong>by</strong> having a garage<br />
sale or <strong>by</strong> taking a photo of the item<br />
so you can remember it and then pass<br />
it on. As a general rule, she advises<br />
going through your closets once or<br />
twice a year and clearing out anything<br />
you haven't worn in two years.<br />
ªDe-cluttering is an incredibly liberating<br />
and freeing feeling. Your mental<br />
state can't help but change,º says<br />
Schwartz, who views getting and<br />
staying organized as a spiritual practice.<br />
ªI believe having a de-cluttered,<br />
harmonious space gives us a deeper<br />
sense of ourselves.º<br />
Make Room for Change<br />
But de-cluttering isn't just about<br />
clearing your physical space. It can<br />
also involve leaving a relationship or<br />
Moving the Mess<br />
Judi Culbertson, co-author of<br />
Scaling Down: Living Large in a Smaller<br />
Space(Rodale Press), was a messy kid and young adult. She had a decluttering<br />
epiphany, however, during a trip she took as a young wife and<br />
mother. ªI was determined to have that [relaxed] vacation feeling permanently,º<br />
says Culbertson, a member of the National Association of Professional<br />
Organizers. Here are her tips for getting organized:<br />
1Pre-cycle paper.Don't bring<br />
home playbills, museum guides<br />
or church bulletins. You've al-<br />
cartons take up a lot of room. If you<br />
need to re-pack something, go to<br />
Mail Boxes, Etc. and let them do it for<br />
ready had the experience; you don't<br />
need paper to remind you.<br />
2Make sure everything has<br />
a final resting place.Always<br />
put belongings back in the<br />
you.<br />
4Visualize the outcome.<br />
You need to see how you want<br />
your space to be and work on<br />
that. Then your focus will be your<br />
same spot, especially things that are<br />
life the way you want it. When visu-<br />
a problem to find, like keys, purses,<br />
alizing the outcomeÐwhether it's<br />
eyeglasses and TV remotes. Also,<br />
your living room or your officeÐ<br />
put things that are alike together<br />
you're making decisions based on<br />
(i.e., all ink pens in one container, all<br />
the room and your current feeling.<br />
batteries in another container) so<br />
Taking that approach shifts the fo-<br />
you can put your hands on them<br />
cus from the idea of loss to a feeling<br />
of control and freedom.<br />
more quickly and see how many you5Forget<br />
how much some-<br />
have of a particular item.<br />
3Beware of keeping spares.<br />
thing costs. A lot of times we<br />
hold on to things because we<br />
Don't hold on to your old VCR<br />
paid good money for them. If you<br />
in case the new one breaks<br />
think that way, you can hold on to<br />
down. Don't hang on to shipping cartons;<br />
most of the time items don't<br />
everything. It's better to pass it on to<br />
someone who can use it.<br />
need to go back into them, and those<br />
job that you've outgrown. Relocating<br />
to Los Angeles from New York moti- for new relationships. ªThere are peo- what didn't? What did you like and<br />
vated Yvonne Chase to downsize her ple in our lives who aren't serving usdislike<br />
about the person? How did you<br />
personal belongings and re-evaluate well, but we're stuck,º Chase says. ª<strong>To</strong>grow<br />
as a result of the relationship?<br />
her interpersonal relationships. fulfill our life's purpose, we need the ªTaking inventory and examining<br />
ªThere were people in my life thatcourage<br />
to let go.º<br />
relationship patterns,º Chase says,<br />
drained my energy, so they had to go,º <strong>To</strong> let go of relationships we've ªhelps you become clear about the<br />
the 36-year-old relationship coachoutgrown<br />
or which aren't serving uskind<br />
of person you want to attract.º<br />
says. ªMy life was going in a differentwell,<br />
Chase suggests taking the fol-<br />
direction. And as I elevated my stanlowing<br />
steps: Think of your last two or Tracy E. Hopkins is a freelance writer<br />
dards and set clear boundaries, they more intimate relationships. Write living in New York City. She has writ-<br />
literally vanished from my life with- out, in detail, all of the pros and consten<br />
for Essence, Vibe, Rolling Stone,<br />
out me having to say a word.º of this relationship, she says. Ask The Associated Pressand The New<br />
Breaking those ties created space yourself: What worked for you and York Daily News.<br />
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 · HEARTANDSOUL.COM 39
CLOTHING; LACE BRACELET: MODERN GODDESS,VEST: BCBG MAX AZRIA/ BLOOMINGDALES,SKIRT: ERICA IKEZIUI, SHOES: JIMMY CHOO-MADISON AVE STORE<br />
Malinda<br />
Actress Malinda Williams Finds Success from the Soul<br />
WRITTEN BY TONYA PENDLETON<br />
WHEN MALINDA WILLIAMS ARRIVED households. ªSoul Foodº continued for on HBO in 1993. Art imitated life<br />
in <strong>To</strong>ronto six years ago, she was a newfive<br />
seasons with 74 episodes, morewhen<br />
Williams was cast as Bird. In<br />
mom dealing with a broken marriage than any other black drama in history. real life, she is the youngest of three<br />
and starting a show critics didn't ex- As Tracy ªBirdº Van Adams, the sisters and attended cosmetology<br />
pect to last. Now she's a sought-after youngest Joseph sister, Williams playedschool<br />
to become a hairdresser. When<br />
actress starring in a highly anticipateda<br />
beauty salon owner with a new ba<strong>by</strong> ªLaurel Avenueº co-star Charles Dut-<br />
film and a promising television showand<br />
a new marriage to a man trying ton to encouraged her to move to Los<br />
while starting a business.<br />
overcome his criminal past. The charAngeles<br />
to further her career as an ac-<br />
But it all began with a good helpingacter<br />
resonated with many viewers who tress, she was working in a salon.<br />
of ªSoul Food.º<br />
shared her aspirations and struggles. Williams worked steadily on TV<br />
The longest-running black dramaFor<br />
Williams, it was a rare chance to beand<br />
in the movies, appearing in black<br />
on television started as a successful not just a part of television history, but ensembles like The Wood, Sunset Park<br />
film starring Nia Long in a role that to provide African-Americans with a and A Thin Line Between Love and<br />
would ultimately go to Williams. As realistic look at black family values. Hatebefore booking ªSoul Food.º It<br />
did the film, the television version of ªPeople really took to Bird, and I'm would be an experience that would<br />
ªSoul Foodº detailed the lives of thevery,<br />
very proud of that fact and that change I not just her career, but provide<br />
three Chicago-based Joseph sisters did my job properly,º she says. ªIn onea<br />
spiritual awakening as well.<br />
and their relationships with men, their sense, I was sorry that the show ended, Shooting in <strong>To</strong>ronto isolated much<br />
families and each other. Despite thebecause<br />
in our community we don't of the cast from their usual environ-<br />
film's popularity, a successful blackhave<br />
an African-American drama on ments. a While up north, actresses<br />
drama was virtually unheard of onconsistent<br />
basis. But in terms of my caVanessa<br />
Williams, Nicole Ari Parker<br />
television. And the stars of the movie, reer, nothing lasts forever.º<br />
and Malinda formed a spiritual sister-<br />
Long, Vanessa L. Williams and Vivica<br />
hood. ªThey just really became my sis-<br />
A. Fox, were Hollywood stalwarts Art &Life Intertwine<br />
ters,º Williams says. ªWe passed books<br />
with loyal fan bases unhappy that new WHILE WILLIAMS ENJOYED HER HIGHEST around and spiritual tips, and even to<br />
actresses were cast in their roles. level of visibility in ªSoul Food,º she this day we call each other and say: `I'm<br />
But after the show's first season in has been acting since her pre-teens. feeling a little funky today. Can you<br />
2000 yielded high ratings for Show- One of her earliest roles was as atalk<br />
me down?' We helped each other<br />
time, the Joseph sisters became teenager a on ªLaurel Avenue,º a semi- to see the light in everything.º<br />
Wednesday night staple in blacknal<br />
black family miniseries that aired The trio remains close, hosting<br />
. PHOTOGRAPHS BY BOBBY QUILLARD .<br />
HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 41
each other's ba<strong>by</strong> showers (Parker and done wrong or if someone says someand<br />
is now playing someone eight<br />
co-star Boris Kodjoe, who married afthing out of place to me.º years younger. Williams' youthful<br />
ter playing lovers on the show, had a That positive energy and attitudelooks<br />
landed her in two music videos<br />
ba<strong>by</strong> girl this year) and keeping abreast has certainly allowed her to reap bene- Ð22-year-old G-Unit member Young<br />
of their lives.<br />
fits in her career. She stars along withBuck's<br />
ªRide with Meº and Ruff<br />
ªMalinda is such an amazing woOutkast's<br />
Big Boi in the upcoming Endz's ªSomeone to Love You.º<br />
man,º says Vanessa Williams, notingHBO<br />
musical Idlewild. In the period ªPart of it is genes,º the 30-year-<br />
that her co-star's growth was particu- film, also starring Big Boi's partner, old says. ªI got it from my mom and<br />
larly inspiring during the time they Andre 3000, she plays Zora, the film's my dad. And spiritedness is the key. I<br />
lived in Canada. ªOur first season, her moral center. On ªWindfall,º an NBC don't worry about anything. Negativity<br />
nanny didn't have all of her paperwork mid-season replacement, she plays will a wear you down and make you sick<br />
correct and couldn't work in Canada. struggling 22-year-old single motherand<br />
old. Water is very key to keeping<br />
Every single day Malinda would havewho<br />
wins $40 million along with nine us youthful and I try to stay active.º<br />
to travel an hour-and-a-half to Niagaraothers.<br />
Snowboarding has become one of<br />
Falls to be with her ba<strong>by</strong>. She<br />
her most beloved pastimes. Al-<br />
had to spend most of her time<br />
ready a skier, she took a snow-<br />
on the road, and then she had<br />
boarding lesson at a National<br />
to act during a first season<br />
Brotherhood of Skiers event in<br />
where everythingÐhair,<br />
Vail, Colorado, in 2004, and got<br />
makeup, wardrobe, scriptsÐ<br />
hooked. She taught her son and<br />
was heavily scrutinized. And<br />
now they ride together. ªYou're in<br />
she was processing a very pub-<br />
the mountains and you're in the<br />
lic breakup.º<br />
trees and it's quiet and it's beauti-<br />
Williams' split with actor<br />
ful,º she says. ªIf I'm having a<br />
Mekhi Phifer, father of her<br />
funky day, I'm like, `oooh I need<br />
now 6-year-old son, Omikaye,<br />
to go ride.' It's sort of a metaphor<br />
was once fraught with conflict<br />
for life.º<br />
that spilled into the media.<br />
And right now, that life is<br />
But their relationship has Malinda Williams is branching out into entrepreneurship<br />
with her new line of lingerie, Modern Goddess.<br />
healed over time. ªWe're still a<br />
good. Williams plans to keep it<br />
that way <strong>by</strong> adhering to the prin-<br />
family, and we're always going<br />
ciples that brought her here. She's<br />
to be a family,º she says. ªIf you come<br />
not specifically looking for a husband,<br />
into a situation with love, you should ªI've seen her on the show and she's but she's always open for love. In the<br />
step out of it with love.º<br />
phenomenal,º says Vanessa Williams. meantime, she's fine with where and<br />
ªWhat an amazing gift it is to be ablewho<br />
she is and hopes to encourage<br />
It's Love<br />
to act every day that you're the recipi- others to live good lives <strong>by</strong> continuing<br />
IN FACT, LOVE IS THE THEME OF ent of $40 million. Just to put yourself to do quality work.<br />
Williams' life these days. She says thein<br />
that space. It's no accident that she ªI really realize how much I have<br />
lessons she learned with her TV sisters is there.º<br />
the ability to affect people's lives now<br />
have changed her perception of life<br />
that I've done `Soul Food.' I'm not go-<br />
and helped improve all of her relationLacy<br />
Dreams<br />
ing to say I'm a role model, but I do<br />
ships. She relies on prayer and meditaWILLIAMS<br />
IS HOPING THAT HER NEW LIN- have some responsibility to affect<br />
tion to navigate the daily challenges gerie of line, Modern Goddess, for whichchange<br />
in the right way. If I'm in a po-<br />
Hollywood and believes that her posishe<br />
is doing some modeling as well, alsition where people are looking to me<br />
tive response to any problem is what lows her multimillion-dollar dreams to possibly for advice or encouragement,<br />
allows her to stay successful. come true. Lingerie seems a natural the best way for me to do that is to<br />
ªI definitely pray daily, probably move as Bird spent many a show incontinue<br />
to live <strong>by</strong> example. All I have<br />
hourly,º Williams says. ªI try to look at lavishly feminine underwear. ªI loveis<br />
my image. I just want to be an exam-<br />
life as though everybody is a potential lingerie,º she says. ªI want all theple<br />
of a good woman.º<br />
teacher. It really helps me be compas- women who buy it to feel that they are<br />
sionate toward people. Love is a huge modern contemporary goddesses.º <strong>To</strong>nya Pendleton of Philadelphia is<br />
part of it. We as human beings thrive Williams is the perfect example of aknown<br />
for her passionsÐbooks, music,<br />
off a loving situation. I've learned notmodern<br />
goddess. Seemingly ageless, movies, tall slim men and, of course, get-<br />
to fly off the handle if I think I've been she played teenagers well into her 20s ting to the heart and soul of a good story.<br />
42 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
PHOTOS; MODERN GODDESS BY H. SHAHANI; CLOTHING OPPOSITE PAGE : DRESS: BLOOMINGDALES SHOES: STEVE MADDEN JEWELRY: THE STYLE LAB
ªI really<br />
realize<br />
how much<br />
I have the<br />
ability to<br />
affect<br />
people's<br />
lives.º
healthy,<br />
wealthy,<br />
wise<br />
Challenge<br />
healthy<br />
Stay motivated in Part 2 of the Challenge!<br />
44 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006
7WaystoStay<br />
motivated<br />
<strong>by</strong> donna richardson joyner<br />
wealthy & wise<br />
fix your<br />
finances<br />
page 54<br />
1 3 Accept that you won't be per- Post reminders. Place little<br />
fect. We all fail. The key to reminders in places where<br />
fitness success is to persevere. you will see them often, like<br />
If you miss workouts for a day, your refrigerator, wallet (for<br />
or even a week, don't beatthose<br />
times when you are<br />
yourself up about it. Just get about to buy that fattening,<br />
moving again! You can't dosugary<br />
snack) and desk, to<br />
anything about the past, but 4name a few.<br />
you can make the right choices Be accountable to a friend<br />
in 2the present.<br />
Set SMART goals. A major<br />
reason many personal fitness<br />
goals are not met is because<br />
they aren't SMARTÐ<br />
Specific, Measurable, Actionoriented,<br />
Relevant and Timed.<br />
Saying you want to lose weight<br />
is too vague. A SMART goal<br />
would be: ªIn order to improve<br />
my health and increase my energy,<br />
my goal is to lose 40<br />
poundsÐfour pounds per<br />
month for the next 10 months.<br />
In order to reach this goal, I<br />
will exercise three times per<br />
week for 30 minutes. I will<br />
also eliminate late afternoon<br />
trips to the vending machine,<br />
drink more water and avoid<br />
eating after 9 p.m.º<br />
.<br />
One of the questions I get asked most often is ªHow do I stay on track with<br />
my fitness goals?º Many people put forth the effort to exercise, eat healthily and<br />
lose weight, only to gain it back and then some. If you want to establish a healthier<br />
lifestyle in the long term, it will take deliberate, consistent action and the ability<br />
to get back on track when you fall short.<br />
Here are some strategies to stick to your fitness plan:<br />
6Be driven <strong>by</strong> more than<br />
looks. It is good to want to<br />
look slim and attractive. But<br />
what is most important is your<br />
physical and spiritual health.<br />
Get fit not for its own sake, but<br />
because it will help you reach<br />
your 7larger goals.<br />
Reward yourself. As you<br />
Share your goals with a make progress toward your<br />
trusted friend. Ask her to hold SMART goal, use positive re-<br />
you accountable <strong>by</strong> asking you inforcement. Pat yourself on<br />
if you have done the things tothe<br />
back. Set aside time for a<br />
which you have committed. long, luxurious bath. Spring<br />
Often, knowing that someone for that painting, dance or fit-<br />
else knows what you are supness class you've wanted to try,<br />
posed to do will give you the or buy that book or that pair<br />
motivation<br />
5<br />
to do it!<br />
of shoes you've had your eye<br />
Make adjustments when nec- on since last year. Make your<br />
essary. When you create a journey to a healthier lifestyle<br />
fitness plan, be flexible. You a rewarding one. It isn't just<br />
may find after a couple ofabout<br />
the destination. It is<br />
weeks that some aspects of your about the journey. Celebrate<br />
plan are working well with your along the way!<br />
schedule, your lifestyle, your<br />
fitness level, etc., while othersDonna<br />
Richardson Joyner, a<br />
are not. Don't give up. Make longtime fitness expert Heart for<br />
adjustments until you find the&<br />
Soul, is host of ªMind, Body<br />
right mix of activities that fit & Spiritº on TV One. Go to<br />
you just right.<br />
heartandsoul.com for more tips.<br />
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 · HEARTANDSOUL.COM 45<br />
·<br />
·
10 Ways<br />
MoreJ<br />
to Put<br />
y<br />
inYourLife<br />
BY PATRICE GAINES<br />
Joy is in<br />
the details.<br />
Most of<br />
the time,<br />
it's free!<br />
Here are<br />
simple<br />
ways to live<br />
in a state<br />
of bliss.<br />
46 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006
I<br />
remember crying because it was a Saturday night and I didn't have who loves a me, where I have been and<br />
date. I was 19 years old and obviously confused about what was worth how I look both different and the same<br />
crying over. I didn't have a clue how to make myself happy. as I did 10, 20, 30 years ago.<br />
Well, fast forward some years and you will find me almost in a state 7Affirmations of<br />
and messages. My<br />
perpetual joy. On my bedroom altar is a prayer a friend gave me that says spirit is lifted and I sometimes<br />
in part: ªGrace us with joyful moments in the midst of daily routine.º<br />
laugh when I look at the mes-<br />
Create an ambience in your home that gives you peace and makes you sages happy. I have posted in various places<br />
Use the good china today! You deserve it. Joy is in the details. Most of the time, throughout the house. On the refrig-<br />
it's free. Here are 10 small ªmomentsº that bring me great joy.<br />
erator: ªNothing is too wonderful to be<br />
trueº; in the guest room: ªWhat you<br />
find in your mind is what you put<br />
1Fresh cut flowers.I have lived in 4Cold juice glasses in thethere.<br />
Put good things in there.º Some<br />
a house where I cut them from freezer;juice served in goblets. messages are framed; some were cut<br />
my yard, but now I buy them at a This is simple but luxurious. I out from magazines. I hope they give<br />
farmer's market or a grocery store. got this tip from a friend who while visitors as much joy as they give me.<br />
Some of my best arrangements come visiting put the glasses for our break8Bath<br />
gels.I keep a stock of them<br />
from the side of a road or a walk in the<br />
in my bathroom and delight in<br />
woods. Get ideas from arrangements in<br />
being able to choose one accord-<br />
restaurants or other places you visit, or<br />
ing to how I feel that day: Am I Or-<br />
talk to a near<strong>by</strong> florist. I love walking<br />
ange Ginger today, or Grapefruit and<br />
past a fresh bowl of short white<br />
Tea Tree? And while we're on the<br />
roses on the dresser or seeing a<br />
subject of bathing, soak in a tub of<br />
colorful bouquet in a vase in the<br />
bubbles. It will calm youÐand<br />
kitchen while I'm cooking.<br />
everyone knows joy follows calm.<br />
2A beautiful dinner set- 9Light. I have a sister who has<br />
ting and a pretty plate of<br />
a dark apartment. I have dif-<br />
food.Please don't use paficulty<br />
staying there for long,<br />
per plates! Think of your plates as<br />
especially during the day. I keep cur-<br />
a canvas for food. And don't just<br />
tains and blinds open wide during the<br />
throw the food on the plate. Try a<br />
day. But I enjoy a variety of lightÐ<br />
different arrangement. A friend re-<br />
candles, lamps and ceiling lightsÐ<br />
cently served me a beautiful salad <strong>by</strong><br />
bright and dim, according to the mood<br />
lining up the ingredients: cherry toma-<br />
I want to create. It warms me to see a<br />
toes in one row, then spinach leaves, fast juice in the freezer. Our juice candle flickering on my kitchen<br />
then slivers of carrots with a drizzle of stayed chilled throughout the meal counter near my flowers, or stripes of<br />
dressing across everything. It was aand<br />
conversation. She recalled that sunrays across a living room chair.<br />
beautiful presentation!<br />
when her husband was dying of cancer entrance to my house.<br />
3My altar.Make yourself an altar. she served him his morning orange I have a sign that says sim-<br />
I've had makeshift ones. Now I juice in a chilled goblet. I think of that10The<br />
ply ªImagineº hanging on<br />
have something sold as an ªAkiokind<br />
of love when I drink my daily the wall next to the front door, and I<br />
Desk Hutchº at a store that sells im- juice from a chilled, crystal flute. change the ªstill lifeº near<strong>by</strong> according<br />
ported items. It's low enough for me5A<br />
walk in the woods. I am for- to the season. In the summer, there is a<br />
to sit in front of on a mat, when I tunate to live in a neighborhoodtall<br />
vase with real or good fake flowers.<br />
want. Here, I put the names of people with a lake and walking paths. In the fall, I may use branches to make<br />
in need of special prayers. There is alsoBut<br />
I have gravitated to nature wher- an arrangement and I put a wreath of<br />
an angel that was a gift from one of my ever I lived. Find a favorite park, if youacorns<br />
and pine cones on the door.<br />
sisters, the miniature statue of a blackare<br />
in the city. Walk and breathe The idea is to give people something<br />
woman saint I picked up in Brazil, a deeply. Lose yourselfÐand your wor- to enjoy while they wait and to send a<br />
tiny carved wooden heart given to me riesÐin the trees.<br />
hint that the woman who is about to<br />
<strong>by</strong> a Russian visitor and a photo of my6Personal<br />
photos.I love looking open the door is full of joy!<br />
daughter as a ba<strong>by</strong>. I look at that altar at other people's photos and I<br />
and see my lifeÐthe kindness of like being surrounded <strong>by</strong> my Patrice Gaines is the author Laughing of<br />
friends, the love of family, the spiritual own. I keep them framed and in al- in the Dark andMoments of Grace.<br />
oneness of everything.<br />
bums close <strong>by</strong>. Photos remind me of She lives in Lake Wylie, South Carolina.<br />
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 · HEARTANDSOUL.COM 47
A Gift of the Heart<br />
evening after a 30-minute easy run, I<br />
drove myself to the hospital with<br />
chest pains. The blockage was the<br />
right coronary artery, which had<br />
shown no signs of blockage six<br />
months earlier.<br />
If you find yourself newly diagnosed<br />
with heart disease in the Kansas City<br />
area, Marie Burden might pay you a<br />
visit.<br />
that day. Three years later after the implant<br />
she had three heart attacks in one<br />
day. The defibrillator saved her life. ªIt<br />
dawned on me that something was really<br />
BACK TO SQUARE ONE<br />
Burden, 53, has been there. At 36, wrong because I kept dying,º she says.<br />
I wasn't getting better. My job was she was told she had heart disease. At She waited 10 months for a donor<br />
still stressful and I was still internaliz- 48, she had a heart transplant. So when heart, and spent five of them reconciling<br />
ing it. And although I was a fitness she makes hospital rounds to meet with her need for a transplant and the<br />
editor of a national magazine, press- women with heart disease, she speaks changes heart disease had made in her<br />
ing deadlines and fear another easyfrom<br />
experience. She recently met a 35- life. After the transplant, she tried to find<br />
jog would land me in the hospital year-old woman who doesn't think she the donor's family to thank them, but the<br />
again made my workouts fewer andneeds<br />
a transplant.<br />
family couldn't be found. ªI want them to<br />
farther between.<br />
Burden, who lives just outside Kansas know the organ wasn't wasted and how<br />
Part of the frustration was a lack of City, Kansas, in Leavenworth, recognizes much living I'm doing.º<br />
information. Heart disease is still the denial. ªWhen they told me I needed Before her heart failed Burden had<br />
considered a man thing, although a heart transplant, I didn't believe them. never given a thought to organ dona-<br />
more women have died of heart dis- They asked me why and I said, `Have you tion. Now she's a staunch advocate. In<br />
ease than men each year since 1984. ever heard of Tuskegee?' º<br />
addition to her hospital visits through<br />
Most women who have heart attacks At 36, Burden was a ªperfect size 8.º the Pathways to Purpose program at St.<br />
have them after menopause, but esOn<br />
a trip with her husband she couldn't Luke's Hospital in Kansas City, she is a<br />
trogen isn't as protective as they get into a pair of jeans she'd worn a few national spokeswoman for Womenthought.<br />
I'm your proof.<br />
days earlier. After climbing a flight of Heart, the only national advocacy group<br />
Turning point No. 1 was finding stairs, she started coughing and couldn't specifically for women with heart dis-<br />
WomenHeart, the National Coalition stop. Later, she found out the swelling ease. Her desire to give back to her com-<br />
for Women With Heart Disease. was caused <strong>by</strong> edema, the pooling of munity and her gratitude to her donor<br />
There was no local group chapter in fluid in the body caused <strong>by</strong> the heart's in- drive her to look heart patients in the<br />
the city where I live, so I went to naability to keep blood moving.<br />
eye, tell her story and help them adjust<br />
tional meetings, including the She also learned she had a congeni- to their illness.<br />
Women's Health Symposium at the tal heart murmur and cardiomyopathy. At ªIt's like I got some money from a<br />
Mayo Clinic in 2004. And each time, 44, she had her first cardiac arrest and bankand now I want to pay it back,º she<br />
sharing stories with other women had to be shocked three times to be re- says. ªWhat better way than to give back<br />
helped me adjust to my ªnew normal.º vived. Doctors implanted a defibrillator<br />
The fitness turning point came<br />
much later. Each of my heart attacks<br />
to my people?º ÐN.H.<br />
happened fewer than 10 hours after belt-like strap that I wear under my I've learned that a low-intensity walk<br />
strenuous physical activity. I wantedclothes<br />
at my bra lineÐand a spiffywith<br />
my dogs is just as vital to staying<br />
and needed to exercise. But a lot of red watch that shows the readout. fit and reducing stress as my harder<br />
fitness information for heart patientsWhether<br />
I needed it more as a luckywalks<br />
are. Overcoming both the ad-<br />
assumes we're all sedentary bon-bon charm or a gadget to track my heart diction to and the subsequent fear of<br />
eaters who need to rebuke our slothful beats, it gave me the reassurance exercise I took some time. But now I<br />
ways. I wanted guidance on how toneeded.<br />
When I work too hard, it have enough confidence to sweat to<br />
feel like I used to feel during a goodbeeps<br />
to remind me to slow down. my I heart's content.<br />
workoutÐexhilarated, challengedprogrammed<br />
it with my weekly fit-<br />
and confident.<br />
ness goals. When I reach them, a littleHeart<br />
& Soul Fitness Editor Nichele<br />
Truth is, being in good shape andtrophy<br />
appears on the watch and stays Hoskins, a certified personal trainer,<br />
heeding early symptoms helped me there all week.<br />
teaches fitness classes in Birmingham,<br />
avoid grave and irreparable damage toChasing<br />
my weekly trophy has Alabama. She is also a national spokes-<br />
my heart. Understanding that con- kept me motivated and on track. Sowoman<br />
for WomenHeart, the National<br />
vinced me to stop blaming myself. far I've lost 10 pounds. I've returned Coalition for Women With Heart Dis-<br />
Two years after my first heart at- to teaching fitness classes and someease. For more information, go to womtack,<br />
I bought a heart rate monitorÐatimes<br />
ride my bike to the gym. Andenheart.org<br />
or call (202) 728-7199.<br />
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 · HEARTANDSOUL.COM 49
The<br />
Blackest Eye<br />
DomesticViole
The headlines offer cold comfort. According to The Washington Post ,<br />
In June 2005, the U.S. Supreme Cade's family has called for the judge to<br />
Court ruled that a Colorado woman was be removed from the bench and has<br />
not entitled to sue a local police depart- asked the Maryland Judicial Disabilities<br />
ment for failing to enforce a restrainingCommission<br />
to investigate his behavior<br />
order against her violent ex-husbandÐin<br />
the case. ª[His] summary dismissal of<br />
her ex-husband kidnapped and killed(Cade's)<br />
request for a restraining order<br />
the couple's three children.<br />
was appalling,º says Nichelle Mitchem,<br />
In July, the Attorney General of Cali- executive director of My Sister's Place,<br />
fornia released a report that said Califorwhich<br />
provides confidential shelter and<br />
nia courts were failing to issue programs for abuse victims. But even if a<br />
restraining orders, even when requiredrestraining<br />
order had been issued, it may<br />
under law; that many restraining orders, not have kept her safe if the batterer<br />
once issued, were never served; and that knew police didn't take domestic vio-<br />
there was lax enforcement of the relence<br />
as a serious crime.<br />
straining orders, especially those with Sheila Jackson, Cade's sister, lays<br />
firearm prohibitions.<br />
blame at the feet of the criminal justice<br />
Later that month, the National Do- system, calling it ªcallous and lax,º and<br />
mestic Violence Hotline reported a 15says<br />
ªit shows a general disregard for<br />
percent increase in the demand for famwomen,<br />
and (is) not caring enough,<br />
ily violence services between 2004 and about the welfare of women. There are<br />
2005 and a 134 percent increase in the women who go to court to take all the<br />
number of calls answered <strong>by</strong> the Hotlinenecessary<br />
steps to do what they need to<br />
since 1996.<br />
do to protect themselves, and then are<br />
But one of the more devastatingignored<br />
or not taken seriously enough<br />
headlines came from Prince George's when they call for help,º she says.<br />
County, Maryland, where a judge sum- And police, Jackson says, should<br />
Violence<br />
marily tossed out a battered woman's reavoid<br />
making judgments about the seriquest<br />
for a restraining order, makingousness<br />
of the case when they respond to<br />
flippant comments along the way. Aa<br />
domestic violence call. ªAn officer in<br />
month later that woman, Yvette Cade, the field shouldn't be thinking, `Oh, she's<br />
was hospitalized and her estranged hus- just going to go back with him anyway.'<br />
band has been accused That's of not their concern at that moment.<br />
WOMEN ARE AT RISK IN THEIR HOMES,<br />
showing up on her job, It should be taking care of what's in front<br />
dousing Cade with gaso- of you according to the letter of the law.º<br />
line and setting Mitchem agrees, saying battered<br />
AT WORK OR EVEN AFTER A NATURAL<br />
her afire.<br />
As of mid-No-<br />
women often have lost their sense of self<br />
and that they may return to the abuser a<br />
DISASTER, LIKE HURRICANE KATRINA.<br />
vember, she had hadnumber<br />
of times before getting away for<br />
12 surgeries and was good. ªThe person's sense of self is de-<br />
scheduled for 16 morestroyed.<br />
Sometimes they stay for eco-<br />
for burns over 60 pernomic reasons,º she says. ªBy the time<br />
cent of her body, according to a source the at police get there, they've often been<br />
the hospital where she is being treated. threatened. They're told, `I'll lose my job<br />
Cade's husband, Roger B. Hargrave, isand<br />
you'll lose any semblance of eco-<br />
being held without bond on charges of nomic stability,' or `I'll kill you.' And<br />
attempted first-degree murder and as- you'll believe them; you already know<br />
sault. His trial is scheduled for May this person is not all there.º<br />
2006.<br />
And for battered women who suffer<br />
By <strong>Jackie</strong> <strong>Jones</strong><br />
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 · HEARTANDSOUL.COM 51
the double trauma of abuse and a<br />
natural disaster, like Hurricanes Katrina<br />
or Rita, life becomes even<br />
more perilous. According to the<br />
National Coalition Against Domestic<br />
Violence, domestic violence<br />
programs in Florida reported increasing<br />
numbers of individuals using crisis<br />
line services and shelters nearly six<br />
months after the state was hit <strong>by</strong> four<br />
hurricanes in summer 2004. Disasters<br />
may compel battered women to return<br />
to abused partners when left<br />
An abused woman<br />
must realize that a<br />
batterer is more<br />
worried about his<br />
own situation.<br />
He generally is not<br />
that concerned<br />
about her<br />
well-being.<br />
with no other housing options, and<br />
temporary emergency shelters afford<br />
batterers an opportunity to abuse<br />
their partners, according to the coalition's<br />
Web site. When the winds die<br />
down and the waters recede, hurricane<br />
victims find themselves competing<br />
with others for limited housing,<br />
childcare, employment and transportation<br />
resources.<br />
ªHer normal support systems are<br />
compromised and (an abuser) could<br />
seize the opportunity,º says Ulester<br />
Douglas, director of training for Men<br />
Stopping Violence, an Atlanta organization<br />
dedicated to ending men's vio-<br />
An abused woman must realizetrauma<br />
and added pressures doesn't<br />
that a batterer is more worried about resonate with most abusers.º<br />
lence against women.ªBecause natural his own situation. He generally is not However, he adds, the answer to<br />
disaster survivors are not in traditionalthat<br />
concerned about her well-being. ending violence against women is for<br />
shelter situations, it's easier for a bat- ªIt's a very narcissistic situation,º society, especially men who are not<br />
terer to track down a woman in a RedDouglas<br />
says. ªThe fact that thebatterers,<br />
to wake up to all violence<br />
Cross shelter, an armory or more open woman has been the victim of an ex- against women and offer their assis-<br />
location,º Douglas explains. traordinary disaster that brings tance wherever possible. He points out<br />
52 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
EmergencySafety Plan<br />
If you are at home and are in the middle<br />
of an attack:<br />
Avoid the kitchen. The abuser can find weapons, like knives, there.<br />
Stay away from bathrooms, closets or small spaces where the<br />
abuser can trap you.<br />
Go to a room with a door or window to escape.<br />
Try to keep a cell phone with you at all times. If you don't have a<br />
cell phone, go to a room with a phone and call for help; lock the door<br />
if you can.<br />
Call 911; get the dispatcher's name.<br />
If a police officer comes, get his or her name and badge number.<br />
If you are hurt, seek medical attention.<br />
Take pictures of any bruises or injuries.<br />
Have a plan in place:<br />
Know where to go for help. Memorize emergency phone numbers.<br />
If your abuser has moved out, change your locks. Put locks on the<br />
windows.<br />
Get an unlisted phone number. Screen your calls.<br />
Have an escape route out of your home. Teach it to your children.<br />
Where will you go if you need to escape? Who can you count on to<br />
help you? Ask neighbors to call the police if they see the abuser at<br />
your house. Establish a signal for them to call the police, for<br />
example, if the phone rings twice, a shade is pulled down or a certain<br />
light is on.<br />
Pack a bag with important things you'll need if you have to leave<br />
quickly. Put it in a safe place, or give it to a friend or relative you<br />
trust. Include cash, car keys and important information, court papers,<br />
passport or birth certificates, medical records, medicines.<br />
Take a good self-defense course.<br />
Use the law to help you:<br />
Ask your local domestic violence program to help you get a<br />
civil protection order.<br />
Find a lawyer who specializes in domestic violence cases.<br />
ÐKendra Lee
a difference in how seriously the order<br />
is enforced.<br />
ªThe Centers for Disease Control<br />
and Prevention have looked at a number<br />
of abuse-reduction programs for<br />
men, but they haven't been able to<br />
prove any one method has worked,º<br />
Mitchem says.º They haven't studied<br />
it enough.º<br />
Socialization's Role<br />
A<br />
ccording to Mitchem, women are socialized<br />
to be victims. ªWomen<br />
want to help men change. They often<br />
are willing to date men they consider<br />
a fixer upper,º she says.<br />
So if courts and police are lax<br />
about enforcing restraining orders<br />
and women fear they may not be safe<br />
even if they get an order, why should<br />
they bother?<br />
ªA lot is required of all of us,º<br />
Mitchem says. ªBattered women need<br />
to be more willing to speak up and let<br />
people know they need help, and people<br />
should be more willing to extend<br />
it. Women do need to report the instance<br />
and get restraining orders and<br />
separate from the batterer. Let the<br />
employer know, let people know<br />
where (the batterer) is barred from<br />
that one in three women are victims of<br />
going (i.e., children's school, your job,<br />
abuse and that fewer than five percent<br />
etc.).<br />
of the men who are caught end up in<br />
ªOften people feel ashamed they<br />
The likelihood<br />
any kind of treatment program.<br />
selected a life partner that would<br />
It's not just adults who are exposed is that one in cause them serious bodily harm. They<br />
to abuse. Men Stopping Violence has<br />
shouldn't be ashamed. The shame is<br />
created a Daughters Program to get 13 girls <strong>by</strong> age on the batterer. Share the informa-<br />
men to care about women and girls,<br />
tion, if you see this car, this person,<br />
Douglas says. ªIt's not optional about 18 will have been please alert the police. Make people<br />
whether you're involved in this move-<br />
your ally.º<br />
ment. The likelihood is that one in 13 sexually assaulted. Mitchem also encourages women<br />
girls <strong>by</strong> (age) 18 will have been sexu-<br />
to get involved with getting policy<br />
ally assaulted.The chance of her being The chance of her and legislation changed. ªThey<br />
beaten is greater. Why not get in-<br />
should testify before legislatures and<br />
being beaten is<br />
volved in creating safer communities<br />
Congress about what they think.º<br />
for your daughter, sister, girlfriend?º greater.<br />
America is in the category of a de-<br />
Mitchem says the public should be<br />
veloping nation, when it comes to its<br />
aware that batterers know how to ma-<br />
handling of domestic violence, Jacknipulate<br />
the system. ªWhat's not toldserial<br />
batterers, men who go from reson<br />
says. ªThis is not something a<br />
is that men are adept at getting out lationship of to relationship abusing country of this caliber should be re-<br />
restraining orders. They file com- women. If a judge were aware, for exflecting<br />
to the rest of the world.º<br />
plaints, too, call the police, haveample,<br />
that a man before him at a re-<br />
women arrested and will make falsequest<br />
for a restraining order has had <strong>Jackie</strong> a <strong>Jones</strong>, a former journalist and<br />
allegations,º she says. In addition, thedozen<br />
or more such orders issuedjournalism<br />
professor, is a writing and<br />
court systems are not good at tracking against him previously, it might makeediting<br />
coach based in Washington, D.C.<br />
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 · HEARTANDSOUL.COM 53
WEALTHY WAYS f<br />
MoneyMilestones<br />
20s, 30s, 40s, 50s...<br />
<strong>by</strong> michelle singletary<br />
Ihadn't even started my first fulltime<br />
job out of college when my<br />
grandmother, Big Mama, began<br />
to tick off the money milestones<br />
she expected me to reach <strong>by</strong> the time<br />
I retired. Pay off your house before<br />
you retire, she lectured me. Make sure<br />
you save early in your working career.<br />
How do you know if you're on the<br />
right financial path? When should<br />
you own your first home, begin saving<br />
for retirement or buy life insurance?<br />
Make the right decisions early in your<br />
life and it can positively affect your<br />
family's finances (with or without a<br />
husband or significant other) for years<br />
to come.<br />
With the wisdom I gained from<br />
my grandmother and information<br />
from the hundreds of experts I've interviewed<br />
over the years, what follows<br />
is a general guideline to the money<br />
milestones you and your man should<br />
be shooting for during your lifetimes.<br />
20s<br />
Make a habit of paying yourself before<br />
you pay any other expenses, including<br />
your mortgage or rent.<br />
Starting with your first paycheck, au-<br />
creasing your debt load (in other amount accumulated <strong>by</strong> those who<br />
words, using your credit cards). <strong>To</strong> have done the math is about $66,500,<br />
avoid raiding the account, don't get compared an with $14,000 for those who<br />
ATM card for it. You will need to have not done the calculation, accord-<br />
have in your savings at least three to ing to the nonprofit Choose to Save.<br />
tomatically set aside a specific amount six months' worth of your monthly You can find a good retirement calcu-<br />
for your savings from every paycheck living expenses. This includes your lator at choosetosave.org.<br />
(10 percent if you can). This is your rent or mortgage, grocery, cable, cell<br />
emergency fundÐyour rainy-dayphone<br />
and average credit card billsÐ Buy your first home. Yes, that's right,<br />
money. And pulling out money for abasically<br />
all the money you have to pay even in your twenties you can become<br />
vacation is not an emergency. Thisout<br />
each month.<br />
a homeowner. You might start with a<br />
money is for the tough times, such as a<br />
condominium, town house or small<br />
job loss or a major car repair. If youStart<br />
saving for retirement. Figure rancher, but it's possible to own your<br />
don't have a cash cushion, when that out how much you need to save for re- own home before you're 30. I did. I<br />
rainy day comes, you will end up intirement<br />
in your twenties.The medianbought<br />
a condo at the age of 22. I used<br />
54 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
Big Mama was right. Pay yourself first, buy a house<br />
early and pay it off before you retire.
Black<br />
Jewels<br />
In 1879, a black man set a marathon record.<br />
In the late 19th century, when it was common practice for gamblers to bribe or threaten<br />
Black athletes into purposely losing events, Frank Hart flatly refused to be a pawn for their profit.<br />
By 1879 Hart made sports history in a 6-day marathon event held at Madison Square Garden.<br />
At the end of the race, as Hart crossed the finish line, the huge crowd rose to give him a standing<br />
ovation. Never before, in any sporting event, had a Black athlete been awarded so much prize mone<br />
or been received with such a warm welcome <strong>by</strong> fans both black and white, alike.<br />
Frank Hart, the unsung hero of marathon champions, is a true Black Jewel in sports history.<br />
American Family Mutual Insurance Company and its Subsidiaries<br />
Home Office ± Madison, WI 53783<br />
www.amfam.com<br />
2006 003727540-11/05
50s and beyond<br />
Update your will or trust.<br />
saved anything for retirement, don'tMy<br />
grandmother couldn't wait to pay<br />
despair. It's still not too late. Actually, off her mortgage. Big Mama's goal<br />
you aren't alone. The average 401(k) was to retire with no house payment.<br />
balance is about $51,000.Take advan- She reached her goal. She retired at<br />
If you haven’t bought a home, it’s tage of catch-up provisions that allow65<br />
and died at 82, giving her 17 years<br />
still not too late. A 50-year-old people 50 and older to contribute ex- without worrying about a mortgage<br />
woman wrote to me concerned that tra money in retirement accounts. payment.<br />
she had missed the opportunity to own<br />
If you have a financial question, send<br />
her own home. ªI'm just too old now,º Pay off your home before you retire. it to Michelle Singletary editor@ at<br />
she said. Well, last time I checkedSome<br />
experts are telling folks to always heartandsoul.com or Heart & Soul ,<br />
there wasn't an age limit on homeownkeep<br />
a home loan. If you're wealthy, 2514 Maryland Ave., Baltimore, MD<br />
ership! As long as you have the income that might make sense. But if your 21218.<br />
to qualify for a mortgage, it's never too funds might be tight in retirement,<br />
late to own your own home. It may begetting<br />
rid of one of your biggest exMichelle<br />
Singletary is a nationally syn-<br />
that you didn't have the financialpenses<br />
could help you live easier. dicated columnist The for Washington<br />
wherewithal to buy earlier in your life.<br />
Post. She is also the host of<br />
Now that you do, take the plunge. It'sIf<br />
no one is relying on your income, ªSingletary Says,º a personal<br />
what I advised the woman. Six monthsconsider<br />
canceling your life insur- finance program on TV<br />
later she wrote back: ªI did it,º she said. ance policy.Now take that money One. Her previous book was<br />
ªThank you for pushing me to makeand<br />
add it to your retirement savings. Spend Well, Live Rich.<br />
the best financial decision of my life.º<br />
Excerpted from Your Money and Your Man<strong>by</strong> Michelle Singletary.<br />
Save for retirement.Even if one day<br />
Copyright y Michelle Singletary. Reprinted <strong>by</strong> arrangement<br />
you realize that you're 50 and haven't with Random House Publishing Group.
FISCAL FITNESSf<br />
<strong>by</strong> janelle williams<br />
For decades,<br />
black women have<br />
been called ªwelfare<br />
queens.º But statistics<br />
show black women are<br />
harder workers than whites,<br />
regardless of their educational<br />
and income level, and<br />
that those on welfare increased<br />
just three percent in<br />
11 years. Recent analysis <strong>by</strong><br />
the Economic Policy Institute<br />
(EPI) found that college-educated<br />
black<br />
women work, on average,<br />
1,923 hours per year, compared to 1,734 hours for their white counterparts.<br />
This adds up to more than a month of additional full-time work.<br />
58 FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006· HEARTANDSOUL.COM<br />
<strong>To</strong> Wed or<br />
Not <strong>To</strong> Wed?<br />
If you think tying the knot<br />
equals a fatter bank account,<br />
think again. Along with bills,<br />
married couples share tax liability.<br />
African-American couples<br />
face penalties at higher rates than<br />
whites. Why? Married black women<br />
are less likely to be stay-at-home<br />
moms than their white counterparts<br />
and more likely to earn an income<br />
equal to their husbands. They<br />
earn about 40 percent of household<br />
income compared to white women,<br />
Although the wage gap between black and white women now sits at about who earn only 29 percent. This cul-<br />
$2,200, the greater disparity lies in the gender wage gap, says Bill Spriggs, an tural dynamic erases the tax law's<br />
EPI senior fellow. In 2003, women as a whole earned 76 percent as much as neutrality, causing it to<br />
men, while black women earned only 65 percent.<br />
disproportionately hurt<br />
ªEven if a woman holds the same job title in the same company as a man, black families, says<br />
she is likely to be paid less,º Spriggs says.<br />
Dorothy A. Brown, profes-<br />
As ªEqual Pay Dayº draws near on April 26, you can make a difference. sor of law at Washington<br />
Contact your Congressional representatives to highlight the importance of&<br />
Lee University.<br />
fair pay and urge them to support the Fair Pay Act, sponsored <strong>by</strong> Sen. <strong>To</strong>m ªCongress prides it-<br />
Harkin and Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton. For more information, log on to self in being pro-family,º<br />
pay-equity.org.<br />
Brown explains. ªWhy<br />
shouldn't Congress be<br />
pro-black family?º<br />
As laws allowed credit unions to Forty-three percent of<br />
expand services, some developed black a couples who make<br />
mistaken perception of their purpose, $50,000 to $60,000 face<br />
says Josh Silver, vice president of Re- a penalty, compared to<br />
search and Policy at NCRC. ªThese only 26 percent of whites,<br />
folks were created to serve peoplecensus<br />
figures show. And<br />
with small means,º Silver says. But in filing separately may not<br />
2003, the Government Accountabil- lessen the burden. Brown says couity<br />
Office reported that two-thirds of ples generally receive no benefit<br />
credit union members were from mid- and may end up paying even more.<br />
dle- and upper-income households. So, should we stop getting mar-<br />
Extension of the Community ried? ªThe romantic in me says `for-<br />
Credit Union Checkup Reinvestment Act to large credit get the tax laws; go ahead and do<br />
Credit unions may be losing unions is one way to solve the prob-<br />
ground as financial redeemer lem, says Silver, who contends the<br />
against predatory lending. In 72dilemma<br />
is structural.<br />
it,' º Brown says. But the tax lawyer<br />
in her says wait a year. ªIf you're<br />
planning to get married in January<br />
percent of states, banks outperformed If you're looking for a home loan, 2007, wait until 2008 so then your<br />
credit unions on home purchase, try three to five options. Contact the liability won't increase until the fol-<br />
home improvement and refinance National Federation of Community lowing year.º<br />
loans, a National Community Rein- Development Credit Unions at Want to make a difference? Write<br />
vestment Coalition report reveals. natfed.orgfor locations in your area. your Congressional representatives<br />
to advocate for an elimina tion of<br />
Janelle Williams is an editorial assistant Heart for & Soul.<br />
the marriage-penalty tax.<br />
Did You<br />
Know?<br />
The Katrina<br />
Emergency<br />
Relief Act<br />
of 2005<br />
allows taxpayers<br />
to claim qualified<br />
charitable<br />
contributions as<br />
an income tax<br />
deduction of up<br />
to 100 percent<br />
adjusted gross<br />
income.
Finding Foreplay<br />
<strong>by</strong> jonathan luckett<br />
Tuesday 5:47 a.m.<br />
I just love watching him sleep. It<br />
brings peace to an otherwise chaotic<br />
world. Yet a melancholy shadow glides<br />
across my forehead as I think about us.<br />
I recall the days when we had time for<br />
us. When making love was a priority.<br />
Back then we did it like rabbits. LOL!<br />
But now? No timeÐbetween my career,<br />
his, our respective families,<br />
school, church. The list goes on and<br />
on. We still do it every so often, seemingly<br />
when our planets align, but it's<br />
just not the same. It's quick; it's<br />
rushedÐa means to an end. And that<br />
no longer satisfies me.<br />
So today, I resolve to get back to<br />
the way things used to be. When we<br />
took our time. When we were unhur-<br />
A Novelist Explores<br />
Desire Between a Man<br />
and Woman<br />
MALE CALL f<br />
Thursday 11:30 a.m.<br />
Last night was amazing. We stoked a<br />
fire that had been dormant, on the<br />
verge of being blown out. Not for any<br />
specific reasonÐjust because. It's easier<br />
to let things be; status quo takes no<br />
energy. Yet somewhere between the<br />
second and third course, we traded<br />
blindfoldsÐdesire strong in his eyes<br />
and his loins as he fed me. Ohmigod<br />
¼ to be fed <strong>by</strong> your loving man.<br />
Thursday 11:33 a.m.<br />
When I can't contain the excitement<br />
any further, when the dam that's inside<br />
me threatens to burst, I text him<br />
one more time:<br />
I want you. ¼ I'm leaving now.<br />
Thursday 12:12 p.m.<br />
My heart is thundering. My wine is<br />
flowing. I can barely concentrate on<br />
ried. When just the thought of what<br />
lay in store for me sent my juices flowWednesday<br />
8:49 a.m. the road as I drive, willing myself to<br />
ing ... like wine.<br />
Holding the receiver to my ear, I no- calm down. But I can't. I don't know<br />
Tuesday 10:10 a.m.<br />
tice my hands are shaking. Anxiety? what's in store for me when I arrive,<br />
No. Anticipation? Oh yes. He picks other than the hours, days and weeks of<br />
I stare down at my cell phone and flip up on the third ring.<br />
pent-up tension that's about to be un-<br />
it open to compose a message. I want to feed you.<br />
leashed. Gushing forth like an open fire<br />
I want to bathe you.<br />
Hanging up the phone softly, with- hydrant on a hot, sticky summer day.<br />
Hit send and quiver as I anticipateout<br />
another word, I smile wickedly. I<br />
his response. This is foreplay. Won- can feel my insides stirring. Thursday 12:19 p.m.<br />
dering what he will say and do next.<br />
My cell lies in my palm like a steamed<br />
Wednesday 7:14 p.m. clam. I quake as I eye his response.<br />
Tuesday 10:18 p.m. His favorite dishes are laid out; a cloud Leave your clothes at the door. And<br />
Lathering up my hands with mint of smooth jazz hanging over the fammeet<br />
me in the guest room upstairs.<br />
julep shampoo, I begin at the base ily ofroom<br />
where we will dine. As soon<br />
his neck, massaging upwards. His hair as he arrives I'm on him, blindfoldingThursday<br />
12:22 p.m.<br />
is thick, full; the feeling of his wet him quickly. He is amused. I lead himI<br />
climb the stairs slowly, naked and<br />
soapy strands between my digits, mag- quietly to the carpet, whispering in hisalone,<br />
anticipation rising like molten<br />
ical. Head tilted back and eyes closed, ear, ªI so much want to feed you¼º lava in my abs. I can hear his breath-<br />
Miles Davis playing near<strong>by</strong> as candles<br />
flicker, the water lapping against us as Wednesday 7:29 p.m.<br />
ing, and I wonder what awaits me on<br />
the other side of the door. Something<br />
if this is some island paradise, I'm asThe<br />
first nibbleÐa tiny piece of spicy tells me it's going to be all good for a<br />
turned on as he visibly is. But I won't jerk chicken. His hands are restless, aslong<br />
time to come.<br />
consummate this date ¼ not tonight. I give him a sip of Argentinean wine.<br />
I need for himÐfor usÐto wait. I He has gone from amused to aroused. Jonathan Luckett of Washington, D.C., is<br />
want for us to take our time. This is And so am I. But there is plenty of the author Dissolve, of Feeding Frenzy,<br />
foreplay¼<br />
food to be consumed before dessert. Jasminium and How Ya Livin'.<br />
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 · HEARTANDSOUL.COM 59
ESCAPESf<br />
Divers explore the beauty and history of Barbados on land<br />
Ðand 60 feet below.<br />
<strong>by</strong> michael h. cottman<br />
National Association of Black Scubaship<br />
and enjoy the wonders of the<br />
T<br />
hey emerged from deep be- Divers (NABS). Black professionals world underwater in some fabulous<br />
neath the sea, dripping wet, gathered in Barbados for the 15th anlocations,º<br />
says McNeal, a scuba in-<br />
their brown faces pressednual<br />
NABS summit to tour the ocean structor and accomplished underwa-<br />
against dive masks as theydepths,<br />
network and worship together ter photographer from Philadelphia.<br />
shared stories about exploring theon<br />
Sunday morning before heading The fabulous location for the most<br />
vast, underwater world.<br />
back to the United States. recent NABS summit was Barbados,<br />
Sixty feet below the ocean's sur- <strong>To</strong>day, black women make up half which is located about 1,600 miles<br />
face, a group of African-Americanof<br />
the NABS membership. For the southeast of Miami in the Lesser An-<br />
scuba divers watched shiny barracuda first time in the organization's history, tilles, northeast of Venezuela.<br />
and flapping turtles swim past whileNABS<br />
recently elected its first female In its British Empire days, Barba-<br />
tiny seahorses took refuge in strandspresidentÐ<strong>To</strong>ni<br />
McNeal, the chief dos was known as Little England. It<br />
of sea grass. Inside the sunken ship- financial officer of a $60 million non- was the first colony to declare war in<br />
wrecks in Carlisle Bay off the coast ofprofit<br />
in Pennsylvania that provides 1939 and cheered Britons with a cable<br />
Bridgetown, Barbados, were schoolsservices<br />
to children and adults withthat<br />
read: ªDon't worry. Little Eng-<br />
of angelfish, stingrays, moray eels, developmental disabilities. land is with you.º<br />
lobsters and scorpion fish.<br />
ªNABS national summits are an The island is now independent,<br />
The 250 divers are members of theopportunity<br />
for members to fellow- but still cherishes its British influence<br />
60 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
Under the Sea<br />
Divers enjoy a water<br />
world filled with<br />
colorful, exotic fish<br />
and moray eels.<br />
PHOTOS COURTESY OF BOB WILLIAMS; BILL MURRAIN AND BARBADOS BLUE
of cricket and high tea. After 350 years world's first grapefruit.<br />
80 pairs of shackles, the largest collec-<br />
of colonization, Britain has left its In addition, Barbados has many rotion<br />
ever found on one site. Members<br />
mark and charm of ªLittle England inmantic<br />
plantation houses, a zoo and of NABS, including this writer, have<br />
the Tropics.º<br />
the world-class Pelican Crafts Center. been instrumental in exploring and re-<br />
Barbados has plenty to offer thoseAt<br />
Orchid World, thousands of orsearching the slave ship, which sank off<br />
who want to explore or relax. For chids grow in and around the caneKey<br />
West, Florida, in 1700. In 1698,<br />
starters, there is windsurfing, snorkeling, fields of St. George Parish.<br />
the Henrietta Marie anchored in<br />
golf, safari and rum plantation tours, as<br />
For dining, choices are Carlisle Bay, Barbados, and enslaved<br />
well as submarine, helicopter and<br />
limitless. Bajans are Africans were sold in town square.<br />
catamaran adventures.<br />
known for their McNeal, who has logged hundreds<br />
Sherry Winston, an in-<br />
tasty flying- of dives from Florida to Fiji, says one<br />
Barbados<br />
ternationally renowned jazz<br />
flutist and NABS mem- has plenty to<br />
ber, has been diving since offer those<br />
1972 and vacationing in<br />
Barbados for 17 years. ªI who want to<br />
have participated in hun- explore or<br />
dreds of dives around the relax.<br />
world, including many of the<br />
Caribbean islands, Tahiti, Bora<br />
Bora and other exotic places,º Winston<br />
says. ªIt's always more fun with the<br />
brothers and sisters.º<br />
ªDiving with African Americans is<br />
a special joy and a treat for me,º she<br />
says. ªThe camaraderie that I experience<br />
with other black divers transcends<br />
the diving experience and goes way beyond<br />
the physical nature of the sport.º<br />
The scuba diving, culture and fine<br />
cuisine are what bring her back to Barbados<br />
year after year.<br />
ªBarbados is a great destination beCarlisle<br />
Bay is a perfect spot for windsurfing, sailing or simply relaxing on the beach.<br />
cause I can enjoy all of my sports there<br />
in complete comfort and safety,º Winfish<br />
dishes, and the numerous non-Ba- of her goals as president is for NABS<br />
ston says. ªI find the people in Barbajan eateries range from Chinese to to connect even more with young peodos<br />
very friendly and willing to help Japanese, French, Polynesian, Italian, ple and expose them to recreational<br />
tourists whenever asked.º<br />
French and Greek.<br />
scuba diving and potential careers in<br />
ªI love to play golf, windsurf, scuba Accommodations in Barbados inmarine<br />
science and oceanography.<br />
dive and kayak,º she adds, ªand Barbaclude large four-star hotels like the ªI hope that the young peopleÐesdos<br />
offers the perfect setting to do all new oceanfront Barbados Hilton, aspecially<br />
young womenÐthat we reach<br />
of these fabulous sports.º<br />
well as smaller hotels and quaint bedthrough<br />
our local and national out-<br />
The island also offers the so-calledand-breakfast<br />
inns. Barbados also ofreach<br />
efforts will look to our organiza-<br />
Seven Wonders: Harrison's Cave, for fers first-class spas for massages and tion a and see folks that look like them<br />
its gallery of stalactites; the hugevariety<br />
of relaxation options. doing extraordinary things and inspire<br />
Baobab or Monkey Bread tree; two of The NABS summit also included a them to stretch beyond social and eco-<br />
the Western Hemisphere's three Ja- symposium on the Barbados connecnomic<br />
challenges.º<br />
cobean mansions; the restored Morgan tion to the Henrietta Marie, the only<br />
Lewis Sugar Mill; the 17th century slave ship in the world to be scientifi- Michael H. Cottman, shown far left, is<br />
Jewish synagogue; the world's rarest cally documented and one of only 10 the author of Spirit Dive , a history of the<br />
collection of 17th century English ironslave<br />
ships ever discovered. Henrietta Marie, and a political writer<br />
cannons; and the place where a BajanSince<br />
1972, divers have recovered for BlackAmericaWeb.com. For details on<br />
citrus cross-fertilization produced themore<br />
than 20,000 artifacts, includingNABS,<br />
go to nabsdivers.org .<br />
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 · HEARTANDSOUL.COM 61
BOOKS, CDs, DVDs, MOVIES, MUSIC<br />
DOWNTIME f<br />
GetWith<br />
the Program<br />
<strong>by</strong> mae lee<br />
From hip-hop to old school,<br />
there's new music, great<br />
movies and deep reads to<br />
help you warm up, laugh loud,<br />
work it out and cool down.<br />
In the<br />
CD Player<br />
<strong>To</strong>mmy Boy Presents Hip-Hop Essentials<br />
1979-1991<br />
Run, power walk, kick box and do<br />
aerobics to the best of hip-hop on this<br />
essential collection of classic tracks,<br />
being released <strong>by</strong> <strong>To</strong>mmy Boy in celebration<br />
of its 25 th anniversary. With a<br />
line up that includes legends like<br />
Public Enemy, De La Soul, MC Lyte,<br />
LL Cool J, Eric B and Rakim, Salt-<br />
N-Pepa and Kurtis Blow, you'll reminisce<br />
until you pass out.<br />
Mary J. Blige ± The Breakthrough<br />
The Queen of Hip-Hop Soul says<br />
Wilson's raspy, soothing vocals are<br />
perfect accompaniment for yoga ± In My Mind<br />
meditation. Known for her creative<br />
integrations of jazz, blues, and<br />
In her second studio album,<br />
rhythm and blues, she will surely de- <strong>To</strong>ny Award winner Heather<br />
that her seventh studio album isliver<br />
her trademark originals and sur- Headley shakes it up a bit.<br />
about overcoming fear. So go extreme prising covers.<br />
Hall of fame producers Ba<strong>by</strong>-<br />
in your workouts,<br />
face, Warren Campbell, and<br />
mountain climbing, Donell <strong>Jones</strong> ± Journey of a Gemini<br />
marathon running andThe<br />
man behind beautiful ballads like<br />
Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis<br />
snow skiing to the hot ªWhere I Wanna Beº and ªYou Know help Headley with<br />
new tracks on The That I Love Youº returns with an up- finger-wagging anthems like<br />
Breakthrough , including<br />
ªMJB Da VIP,º<br />
tempo new album. The first singleªMe<br />
Timeº and the gospel-in-<br />
with Jermaine Dupri, ªBetter Start<br />
ªBe Without Youº and Talking,º sets the mood for the laid-<br />
ªOneº with U2's Bono.<br />
back crooner's hip-hop soul. He delivers<br />
on his signature love-songor<br />
even in your living room<br />
Cassandra Wilson ± Thunderbird sound on tracks like ªSpecial Girlº with ªRain,º her dancehall<br />
When her long-awaited project withand<br />
ªPortrait of a Woman,º which arecollaboration<br />
with Shaggy.<br />
producer T-Bone is released in great for warm downs or heating up<br />
March, you'll be blessed and happy. the evening with your sweetie.<br />
62 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
Heather Headley<br />
fused ªChange.º You can work<br />
up a sweat on the dance floor
BOOKS, CDs, DVDs, MOVIES, MUSIC<br />
DOWNTIME f<br />
On the<br />
Big Screen<br />
64 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
DVDs for Your<br />
SmallScreen<br />
Between the<br />
Pages<br />
The Pink Panther<br />
On a Roll <strong>by</strong> Greg Smith<br />
Art imitates life as Miss Dangerously<br />
Dubbed the wheelchair dude with a<br />
in Lovetakes a turn as a pop star who<br />
Richard Pryor on<br />
may have committed murder and ªThe Ed Sullivan<br />
winning attitude, Smith imparts wisdom<br />
and humor as he details life with<br />
stolen a gem in this Pink Panther up- Showº in 1967.<br />
muscular dystrophy. Smith advocates<br />
date. Inspector Jacques Clouseau<br />
better accessiblity for residents with<br />
(Steve Martin) and his boss Dreyfus<br />
disabilities as the Gulf Coast rebuilds<br />
(Kevin Kline) are comically on the<br />
its communities. He’s had his win-<br />
case.<br />
ning attitude tested as Hurricane Katrina<br />
destroyed his power wheelchair,<br />
FreedomLand<br />
modified mini-van and birth videos<br />
Julianne Moore plays a single white<br />
of his three children at his home in<br />
mother who blames a black man The Richard Pryor Collection Ocean Springs, Mississippi. For more<br />
when her son is kidnapped and preYou<br />
will laugh yourself into a coma about his work, go to TheStrengthsumed<br />
dead. Samuel L. Jackson stars watching the late Richard Pryor in Coach.com.<br />
as Lorenzo Council, a detective whofour<br />
hilarious films. In Brewster's<br />
investigates the case along with aMillions,<br />
Pryor must spend $30 mil- Neo Soul: Taking Soul Food<br />
white newspaper reporter. Aunjanuelion<br />
in 30 days to inherit $300 mil- to a Whole Nutha Level<br />
Ellis and Anthony Mackie also star. lion. He’s an ex-con driving specialLindsey<br />
Williams knows<br />
children to a new home in Bustin' soul food—and he should.<br />
16 Blocks<br />
Loose. He plays a poor orange picker, The grandson of Harlem’s<br />
When a disgruntled, aging cophis<br />
father and an adulterous minister queen of soul food, Sylvia<br />
(Bruce Willis) escorts a wisecracking in Which Way Is Up. And he’s a Woods, has collected more<br />
witness (Mos Def ) 16 blocks from preaching ªwonder manº Car in Wash. than 100 taste-tempting,<br />
the police station to the courthouse,<br />
healthy recipes. His journey to Neo<br />
they discover that someone doesn’t Living Single<br />
Soul began when he tipped the scales<br />
want them to reach their destination. Before Tracee Ellis Ross and her at 400 pounds. He then lost more<br />
ªGirlfriends,º there was Queen Lati- than half his body weight and began<br />
Madea’s Family<br />
Reunion<br />
fah and the four ladies of ªLiving creating guilt-free soul delicacies, in-<br />
Single.º In this DVD set of the first cluding Grandma’s Roasted Turkey,<br />
season, meet ound ’r the way to RodeoLenzo’s<br />
Trout Stuffed with Collard<br />
Tyler Perry reprises the role of Drive Regine (Kim <strong>Field</strong>s), hard- Greens, Okra Gumbo, Neo Sweet<br />
Madea, the gun-toting nosed attorney Maxine Shaw (Erika Potato Pie and Blueberry Buckle.<br />
Alexander), nave cousin Synclaire<br />
grandma, who takes on a re-<br />
(Kim Coles) and Khadijah JamesGet<br />
Over Yourself: How to Drop Your<br />
bellious runaway, her relation- (Latifah), who holds Flavor Maga- Drama and Claim the Life You Deserve<br />
ship-challenged nieces and the zine—and the household—together. <strong>by</strong> <strong>To</strong>nya Pinkins<br />
planning of a family reunion,<br />
From soap opera star to 2004 <strong>To</strong>ny<br />
a funeral for her sister and a The Five Heartbeats<br />
Award winner (Caroline, or Change ),<br />
Believe it or not, it’s been 15 yearsPinkins<br />
is also a divorced mother who<br />
wedding for her granddaugh-<br />
since the all-star cast of The Five once spent time on welfare. She has<br />
ter. Needless to say there is Hearbeats sang ªnights like this I wish helped hundreds of actors overcome<br />
more than enough drama for that raindrops would fall.º You canemotional<br />
blocks to success with her<br />
the talented cast, which in- sing along to Robert <strong>To</strong>wnsend’s 1991motivational<br />
seminars, ªThe Actorcludes<br />
Boris Kodjoe, Cicely<br />
Tyson, Henry Simmons, Maya<br />
Angelou, Blair Underwood<br />
and Lynn Whitfield.<br />
depiction of the pitfalls of an R&B preneur Attitude.º In Get Over Your-<br />
group (based on the Dells). This speself, Pinkins shows readers what she’s<br />
cial edition DVD includes deleted been telling actors in those seminars:<br />
scenes, a glimpse of four decades how of to fill their lives with meaning,<br />
fashion and a bonus soundtrack. joy, financial freedom and energy.
Nowhere Is a Place <strong>by</strong> Bernice Mc-<br />
Fadden<br />
In this touching novel <strong>by</strong> the author<br />
of Sugar, a woman delves into her<br />
family's past on a journey of self-discovery.<br />
Sherry has never known who<br />
she was, where she came from or why<br />
her mother slapped her one summer<br />
day. A journey to a family reunion<br />
leads to revelations of a history filled<br />
with amazing survival and abundant<br />
joy.<br />
Shine: A Physical, Emotional<br />
and Spiritual Journey to Finding Love<br />
<strong>by</strong> Star <strong>Jones</strong> Reynolds<br />
The queen of ªThe Viewº lets it all hang out in her<br />
book. Candid about finding love and marrying after<br />
40, her weight loss and her spiritual values from her<br />
Baptist background, she offers advice to the millions<br />
of women who may be in the same situation.<br />
Her absolutesÐtruisms that give her guidance Ð<br />
are all faith-based and stem from loving oneself completely.<br />
Sex.Lies.Murder.Fame: A Novel The Damned <strong>by</strong> L.A. Banks<br />
Making the Shift: Take Charge and Be-<br />
<strong>by</strong> Lolita Files<br />
All hell breaks looseÐliterallyÐin come Fit and FabulousÐEven If You Are<br />
After having his novel rejected atthe<br />
sixth installment of L.A. Banks' Overweight and Have Diabetes Like I<br />
every turn, the brilliant, young, hand- hot-blooded vampire series. ThroughDid<br />
<strong>by</strong> Mother Love With <strong>To</strong>nya Bolden<br />
some Penn Hamilton takes a morea<br />
multilayered plot, diva heroineThe<br />
life of TV's Mother Love<br />
unscrupulous path to celebrityÐse- Damali deals with intimacy issueschanged<br />
when she was diagnosed with<br />
ducing a single, plain and obsessive with Carlos, a former vamp. A war Type 2 diabetes. In her new book, she<br />
high-profile literary editor. The main kicks off to free lost souls who havetells<br />
how she embraced a healthier<br />
characters in Lolita Files' newest siz- escaped from hell to infect humans lifestyle. She quit smoking, drinking<br />
zling satire on fame go to outrageous and turn them into demons. The and eating high-fat foods. She also of-<br />
lengths to seek their fortune in the stunning climax shows trying to shut fers tips on smart shopping, menu<br />
wild world of music and literature. hell's gates can be righteous. planning and recipes.<br />
ORIGINAL BROADWAY CAST RECORDING IN STORES JANUARY 24TH<br />
Alice Walker’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, adapted into the<br />
landmark film <strong>by</strong> Steven Spielberg, takes to the stage in the new<br />
musical that has America buzzing. The Color Purple weaves jazz,<br />
gospel, blues, and pop into a tapestry of music that will touch your<br />
heart and put a bounce in your step.<br />
The Color Purple cast album features music and lyrics <strong>by</strong> Grammy<br />
Award-winning artists Brenda Russell , Allee Willis , and Stephen<br />
Bray . Available on Angel Records compact discs.<br />
0946 3 42954 2 0 • C2005 Angel Records • For more info, visit: www.colorpurple.com or www.angelrecords.com<br />
HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 6 5
FAMILY MATTERS f<br />
whom we love and support, but understand<br />
are somewhat self-centered<br />
and have difficulty accepting change.<br />
If your man is not as excited, involved,<br />
talkative or obsessive about being prepared<br />
for the ba<strong>by</strong> as you are, don't assume<br />
the worst. There may be<br />
something else afoot.<br />
Hold on to something steady,<br />
ladies, and hear this: Men have deep<br />
emotions about pregnancy, too. That<br />
may seem hard to believe and even<br />
harder to accept when you're lugging a<br />
load of groceries and he won't step<br />
away from the football game to help<br />
you, but it's true. I say this jokingly, but<br />
it is a documented fact that most black<br />
men are socialized not to show feelings<br />
of anxiety, insecurity or vulnerability.<br />
But these can be very real emotions for<br />
any man facing fatherhood.<br />
Take my husband, for example. I<br />
love him dearly, but at times he has<br />
the emotional depth of plywood. But<br />
he's a classic male ªfixerº; you know,<br />
he wants to fix all problems. And the<br />
fact that he couldn't fix pregnancyÐ<br />
stop the pain, take away my exhausting<br />
one and a half-hour commute to<br />
Inside the<br />
New York, end my excruciating back<br />
pain, yadda, yadda, yadda, was too<br />
much for him to bear.<br />
So as I complained about my mis-<br />
Mind of<br />
ery and anxieties, he would have a silence<br />
that I mistook for insensitivity<br />
and a lack of interest. But he does not<br />
like situations when he does not know<br />
<strong>by</strong> kimberly allers<br />
what to do. He would later tell me<br />
yeah, my boys can that he was worried sick about me all<br />
swim!º That's usually the time but didn't want to show it.<br />
the initial reaction What's worse, these nine months<br />
ªOh<br />
from the man who's would only culminate with what he<br />
fathered your child. Few men can recouldn't<br />
take even moreÐwatching<br />
sist the urge to revel in their seminalme<br />
in intense pain and with no ability<br />
potency. Sometimes, however, this ini- to stop it.<br />
tial euphoric state wears off quickly. After talking to a few fathers, I<br />
Let's be clear: There is a load of brothfound<br />
out this wasn't the only fear in<br />
ers out there who do the Cabbage the patch. One of the biggies was fi-<br />
If your man doesn't Patch in excitement for nine monthsnancial.<br />
These days a lot of black<br />
because their queen is with child, and women are the primary breadwinners<br />
share your pregnancy they think their wife has only becomeor<br />
earn just as much as their hus-<br />
mania, don't assume sexier with the big boobs and extrabandÐeither<br />
way, the woman's finan-<br />
pounds. I am not talking about these cial contribution is necessary. Though<br />
the worst.<br />
menÐall three of them. I'm talking most of them had a plan for when<br />
about the rest of the male population, their wife would stop and return to<br />
Your<br />
Ba<strong>by</strong>'s<br />
Daddy<br />
66 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006
work, there was always the ªwhat if º this grumpy, tired, vomiting person to Another mistake is trying to get<br />
fears. What if something went wrongbe<br />
part of the pregnancy package. ªAll your man to understand and em-<br />
and she had to stop working muchof<br />
my boys told me horror stories ofpathize<br />
with all that you are feeling<br />
earlier than we planned? What if the crazy things their wives did or and experiencing during pregnancy. It<br />
something went wrong and shemade<br />
them do during pregnancy. will I never happen. Classic example:<br />
couldn't return to work as soon as wecould<br />
have never imagined their wives He doesn't read any of the five preg-<br />
need her to?<br />
acting like that, and then it happened nancy books you left on his night-<br />
ªJust the thought of not being able to me,º recalls <strong>To</strong>ny of Baltimore, stand. He's thinking, I've got nine<br />
to properly provide for my family Maryland.<br />
months; that's plenty of time. I'll get<br />
scared me, and I knew I couldn't<br />
to it later. And you think, he doesn't<br />
swing it financially on my own,º says<br />
James, from Birmingham, Alabama.<br />
In their most morbid nightmares,<br />
they saw their wife dying in childbirth<br />
and they were left with a newborn.<br />
The bottom line was that if<br />
something goes wrong with this<br />
ba<strong>by</strong>-making business, they would be<br />
stuck holding a big bag of extra pressure.<br />
ªI definitely felt a lot of stress,º<br />
James says.<br />
There's also the fear of changed relationships.<br />
Damon from Pittsburgh,<br />
Pennsylvania, admits that he felt displaced<br />
<strong>by</strong> his wife Tamika's pregnancy.<br />
ªIt was clear that she would<br />
have less time for me, and I know it<br />
sounds horrible, but I wasn't really<br />
cool with that.º<br />
Your relationship as you know itÐ<br />
with your spontaneous trips, dinners<br />
ªJust the<br />
thought of<br />
not being<br />
able to<br />
properly<br />
provide for<br />
my family<br />
scared me,<br />
and I knew<br />
I couldn’t swing it<br />
financially<br />
on my own.º<br />
care about me, or this ba<strong>by</strong>, and is<br />
completely uninterested in this pregnancy.<br />
Or you want him to know how<br />
difficult pregnancy is for you. He's<br />
thinking how tough it is for him to<br />
deal with you, and you'll never agree<br />
on who's got it worse.<br />
This can cause a communication<br />
breakdown during pregnancy. Usually<br />
it improves after the ba<strong>by</strong>, when the<br />
ªyou against meº is replaced <strong>by</strong> two<br />
people in a collaborative effort to<br />
keep a freshly baked human alive.<br />
There's another common problem<br />
with husbands in pregnancy. All of the<br />
sudden, he decides to lose weight and<br />
bulk up like LL Cool J, while you're<br />
getting fatter <strong>by</strong> the minute. It happened<br />
to Rajine of Fort Lauderdale,<br />
Florida. ªBoyfriend was at the gym,<br />
dieting, making his muscle building<br />
and quiet nights inÐis effectively<br />
shakes, and I'm sprawled across the<br />
over. ªWe had a good life,º Damon<br />
couch with my face in a tub of Bon<br />
says. ªWe traveled, did things to- I offer this insight only to high- Bons,º she says. ªI felt like a whale.º<br />
gether, and even though I reallylight<br />
the fact that pregnancy does This is cruel and inhumane treat-<br />
wanted a family, I didn't know how it bring out a response from men. So ifment<br />
and completely unacceptable. If<br />
would change us.º As many men, Dayour<br />
man is acting a little funky or in- your husband decides to run a<br />
mon struggled to find his place in thisdifferent,<br />
there may be a little more tomarathon,<br />
hit the gym or otherwise<br />
pregnancy period. Nature has already it. Try to be as reassuring as possible. drastically improve the look of his<br />
decided what the woman's role is, and Keep the lines of communicationbody,<br />
he is in serious breach of the<br />
all the focus is on her and the ba<strong>by</strong>, open. Make time to do things to- pregnancy contract. Section V, para-<br />
leaving the man sitting on the bench. gether. Some women said that they graph 2, clearly states that when a<br />
Women can fear the change, too. wished they spent some of their final woman is pregnant, all other house-<br />
ªMy husband and I have a great lifemonths<br />
doing more things as a couple hold members shall remain fat or in<br />
together. I wondered if this ba<strong>by</strong> instead of being consumed in thetheir<br />
current physical condition. Just<br />
would really enhance our lives sinceba<strong>by</strong>-prep<br />
frenzy. Do the best youtell<br />
him to go to the kitchen, make<br />
we do enjoy each other so,º says Tanya can. But if tending to your man's you both an ice cream sundae and cut<br />
of Ann Arbor, Michigan.<br />
emotional needs is draining you, tir- out all this crazy talk.<br />
Finally, a lot of men were shockeding<br />
you and stressing you outÐjust<br />
at what pregnancy did to the cool, ignore him, he'll get over it. Don't Kimberly Allers is a staff writer For- at<br />
calm and collected woman they knew worry; other women have done thistune.<br />
She wrote ª10 Wealthiest Places for<br />
and loved. Husbands didn't expect for years. Your focus is the ba<strong>by</strong>. Blacksº in the last issue Heart of & Soul.<br />
From the book THE MOCHA MANUALTO A FABULOUS PREGNANCY. Copyright 2006 b y Kimberly Allers. Published <strong>by</strong><br />
arrangement with Amistad/HarperCollins.<br />
HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 67
SOUL KITCHEN f<br />
Chef Appeal<br />
These three sisters flex their ªmusselsº in the kitchen<br />
to make fine dining a career.<br />
<strong>by</strong> juliette rossant<br />
home and broken into the culinarytrain<br />
to become chefs.<br />
Black women have been ranks with flair. As chefs they are ªIt requires a culinary gift to<br />
cooking up a storm adding their own dash of flavortake<br />
offal (innards) and create<br />
for centuries, whip- into kitchens across the country. something really good,º says chef<br />
ping up dishes handed ªWhat we put in was flavor, Rasshad Brown of Big City BBQ<br />
down over genera- spices, seasoning, which is void in in Tempe and Mesa, Arizona.<br />
tions. They have fed their families, a lot of cooking in AmericaÐthe ªThat is the African-American<br />
preserved customs and recipes and seasoning and taste, that is ouringenuity;<br />
that is all we had to<br />
helped create many of America's contribution,º says chef Joe Ranwork<br />
with.º<br />
greatest dishes.<br />
dall of Chef Joe Randall's Cook- Here are three women chefs<br />
Of late, a small, elite group ofing<br />
School in Savannah, Georgia, who are putting their soulful<br />
sisters have stepped out of thewho<br />
encourages young people stamp to on high-class menus.<br />
68 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006
PHOTO BY JOHN E. KELLY/FOODPIX<br />
Growing up in Detroit, Reva Bell<br />
cooked a lot with her mother,<br />
particularly for their church.<br />
Now she's cooking at Gravity Bar<br />
& Grill outside Detroit, offering up<br />
an eclectic mix of what she describes<br />
as contemporary American cuisine.<br />
ªIt's a casual environment, serving<br />
upscale food,º Bell says of the fare at<br />
Gravity Bar & Grill. One of her favorite<br />
dishes is Jumbo Lump Crab<br />
and Shrimp Cakes, served with<br />
creamy lime risotto, tomato relish and<br />
a cilantro buerre blanc. She found her<br />
calling thanks to her high school's<br />
culinary arts program. After finishing<br />
culinary school she landed her first<br />
job at Detroit's Ritz Carlton Hotel.<br />
ªI was the cafeteria chef cooking<br />
for employees. I didn't care what I<br />
did. I was in the door,'' she says. ªI<br />
worked my way up. It was a very good<br />
learning environment.º<br />
Work was tough. ªMy language<br />
changed quicklyÐswearing came<br />
Reva Bell<br />
Gravity Bar & Grill<br />
Milford, Michigan<br />
THAI STEAMED MUSSELS<br />
2 pounds mussels<br />
2 cups unsweetened coconut milk<br />
4 tablespoons garlic, chopped<br />
4 tablespoons lemongrass,<br />
finely chopped<br />
4 tablespoons fresh cilantro,<br />
chopped<br />
2 teaspoons crushed red<br />
pepper flakes<br />
2 tablespoons lime juice<br />
4 tablespoons fish sauce<br />
Pinch of salt<br />
Clean the mussels, scraping away<br />
the beard. Rinse in cool water and<br />
drain. In a medium-size saucepan,<br />
add coconut milk, garlic, lemongrass,<br />
cilantro, red pepper flakes,<br />
lime juice, fish sauce and salt. Blend<br />
together well. Add mussels, stir,<br />
cover and cook over medium heat for<br />
3 to 5 minutes or until the mussels<br />
are open. Serve with your favorite<br />
crusty bread. Makes 4 servings.<br />
Hannah Sweets<br />
Plato's, Aspen Meadows Resort<br />
Aspen, Colorado<br />
quickly,'' Bell says. ªYou had to be<br />
tough. It's like being in the Army.<br />
They didn't trust me until I could<br />
prove to them I could take it.º<br />
Bell learned about Italian cuisine<br />
and wines at her next restaurant job<br />
and started to gain some notoriety. In<br />
2003, she became executive chef at<br />
Gravity Bar & Grill, where she<br />
helped design the kitchen and menu.<br />
Is the chef life glamorous? ªIt is<br />
very fulfilling to meet people; that<br />
part is glamorous.º But don't kid<br />
yourself about the work: ªIt's hot in<br />
the kitchen, and I have no free time.<br />
When everyone wants to go out on<br />
Saturday night, you are the one who<br />
cooks.º<br />
Despite the long hours and hard<br />
work, Bell loves her job. ªThere are<br />
opportunities [as a chef ], but you<br />
have to be determined and work extra<br />
hard. I wasn't going to let anyone take<br />
anything away from me. I was going<br />
to make it!º<br />
St. Louis-born Hannah Sweets control what I made. I can apply the<br />
danced ballet as a child, eventu- same discipline, but cooking is just<br />
ally joining the famed Alvin Ailey more satisfying.º<br />
American Dance Theater. At age 24, Bypassing culinary school, Sweets<br />
an injury cut short her ballet career. took a job in a Dallas restaurant and MELBA'S BAKED PORK CHOPS<br />
Suddenly, she had to start all over. worked her way up from the bottom, 1-1/2 cups flour<br />
After she recovered from her bal- learning everything she could. ªI got 1 teaspoon salt<br />
let injury, Hannah and her mother, paid for my learning experience,º she 2 teaspoons black pepper<br />
food writer Ellen Sweets, went for a says. ªIt was a lot harder for me in the 1 teaspoon paprika<br />
holiday in Cape May, New Jersey, very beginning, but it is up to you 4 loin pork chops, cut 1-1/2-inch thick<br />
and wound up working there in ahow<br />
much information you absorb.º 1/4 cup cooking oil<br />
restaurant kitchen for the summer. There have been very few women 2 large yellow onions,<br />
ªIn dance, I was always someone in the restaurants where she trained. sliced 1/2-inch thick<br />
else's instrument. As a chef, I couldªOnce<br />
a chef de cuisine said, `Girls 2 large beefsteak tomatoes,<br />
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 · HEARTANDSOUL.COM 69
SOUL KITCHEN f<br />
sliced 1/2-inch thick<br />
2 large bell peppers,<br />
sliced 3/4-inch thick<br />
2 cups partially cooked long-grain rice<br />
3 cups chicken stock<br />
1/4 cup fresh parsley,<br />
chopped fine, for garnish<br />
Combine flour, salt, pepper and<br />
paprika in a plastic or paper<br />
bag. Rinse and dry pork chops<br />
and dredge in the flour mixture.<br />
In a nonstick frying pan or cast-iron<br />
skillet, brown pork chops in oil over<br />
a medium-high heat. Put in a<br />
casserole large enough to<br />
accommodate the chops.<br />
Deborah Fewell's father<br />
comes from<br />
Trinidad and keeps an<br />
herb garden to make<br />
his own blends. Her mother introduced<br />
her to Southern, Italian and<br />
Chinese cuisines in their Washington,<br />
D.C., home. So you can say<br />
cooking is in her blood.<br />
Fewell, now a personal chef to<br />
celebrities, was one of seven contestants<br />
on the Food Network's first<br />
ªNext Food Network Starº series.<br />
She finished first runner-up. ªSure, I<br />
wish I could have gotten it, but it was<br />
a milestone for young black women<br />
to push into this industry,º she says.<br />
ªI was surprised to get as far as I did.<br />
Besides, I had the time of my life.º<br />
Fewell's first passion was theater,<br />
70 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.<br />
On each chop, layer an onion<br />
slice, a tomato slice and a bell<br />
pepper slice. Spray a 1/2-cup<br />
measuring cup and fill it with rice.<br />
Invert cup so that a mound of rice<br />
is placed inside bell pepper ring.<br />
Sprinkle all with a light dusting<br />
of paprika. Pour chicken stock<br />
around chops, and seal casserole<br />
with foil or a tight fitting lid.<br />
Bake 35 to 40 minutes covered;<br />
10 minutes uncovered. Serve each<br />
chop with pan juices ladled over<br />
rice and a sprinkling of parsley.<br />
Makes 4 servings.<br />
Deborah Fewell<br />
Personal Chef<br />
Los Angeles<br />
PAPAYA SHRIMP<br />
2 ripe papayas<br />
1 pound (16 to 20) raw shrimp,<br />
peeled and deveined<br />
(thawed if necessary)<br />
3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice<br />
Salt and pepper to taste<br />
1 tablespoon onion powder<br />
1 tablespoon garlic powder<br />
1 tablespoon sweet paprika<br />
1 tablespoon Jamaican allspice<br />
1/4 cup butter<br />
Cut each papaya in half, discarding<br />
the seeds. Scoop out flesh with a<br />
spoon, and reserve shells. Cut papaya<br />
flesh into 1-inch cubes, and set<br />
aside. In a bowl, toss the shrimp<br />
with lemon juice, salt and pepper,<br />
onion powder, garlic powder, paprika<br />
and allspice. In a medium skil-<br />
for which she earned a bachelor's delet, melt butter until slightly brown.<br />
gree at Howard University. But after Add shrimp and saute until just<br />
a few years she decided to switch ca- cooked through; adjust seasoning if<br />
reers and attended Le Cordon Bleu necessary. Add reserved papaya<br />
culinary arts school in California. She cubes and toss together. Fill papaya<br />
interned at the Food Network, where shells with shrimp mixture, garnish<br />
she worked with the likes of celebrity top with chopped Italian parsley,<br />
chefs Wolfgang Puck and Emeril La- cilantro or green onions. Serve imgasse.<br />
She was hooked.<br />
mediately. Makes 4 servings.<br />
don't belong in the kitchen!' I said, `I<br />
don't see any girls here!'º<br />
Sweets is now chef de cuisine of<br />
Plato's, a newly renovated restaurant<br />
at the Aspen Meadows Resort in<br />
Colorado. Her evolving menu reflects<br />
local produce and food products,<br />
as well as the multicultural<br />
composition of ColoradoÐwith a<br />
Continental twist.<br />
Sweets' advice to young women<br />
thinking about a cooking career?<br />
ªYou've got to have faith in yourself<br />
and be confident without being arrogant,<br />
because that comes off as<br />
threatening to men.º<br />
Shortly after graduating from<br />
culinary school, Fewell landed a job<br />
as a private chef for NBA great Anfernee<br />
ªPennyº Hardaway of the New<br />
York Knicks. She specializes in West<br />
and East Indian, some Moroccan,<br />
Southern, Cajun and soul food.<br />
These days, she works for a black<br />
Hollywood star. ªTheir schedule is<br />
your schedule,º she says, but the family<br />
has also supported her and inspired<br />
her to pursue her dream.<br />
Fewell's dream is to host her own<br />
lifestyle television show focusing on<br />
food and entertaining. She's already<br />
landed the job of hosting a one-hour<br />
Food Network special, ªSurf and<br />
Turf,º slated to air this summer.<br />
Fewell believes that culinary<br />
school was the best preparation she<br />
could get. ªThere is an open door for<br />
us. Once preparation meets opportunity,<br />
I believe you have a lot at your<br />
fingertips.º<br />
Juliette Rossant is author Super of<br />
Chef(Simon & Schuster) and publisher<br />
of the online daily magazine superchefblog<br />
(superchefblog.com).
SOUL SEARCHING f<br />
Know that<br />
God will<br />
accept<br />
whatever<br />
we lift up.<br />
you cannot afford.<br />
Good is always found anchored in a<br />
well-thought-out decision, and it<br />
never associates with anything that<br />
causes pain, anger or the reckless mistreatment<br />
of another. In other words,<br />
we make a choice to have joy.<br />
Rev. Dr. Gardner Taylor, author,<br />
educator and senior pastor emeritus of<br />
Concord Baptist Church of Christ in<br />
Brooklyn, New York, states in The<br />
Words of Gardner Taylor , Volume 1:<br />
ªThere are days when we can bring before<br />
God a deep and glad laughter of<br />
joy and gratitude. There will be other<br />
days when we can only muster a bitter,<br />
angry complaint. If it is honest, be<br />
confident that God will accept whatever<br />
it is we truly have to lift up before<br />
Make ItGood:<br />
him, and he will make it serve his purpose<br />
and our good.º<br />
God requires that we replace our<br />
worries with knowledge that gives us<br />
ChooseJoy<br />
strength not only to endure the ups<br />
and downs of life, but also to overcome<br />
daily challenges. So, the next<br />
time you find yourself faced with a<br />
life-changing decision for true happi-<br />
<strong>by</strong> rev. charmayne cooke<br />
happiness. Happiness is an external ness and external bliss, remember to<br />
Are you one of the millions of emotion that can be here today and set your expectations high and make it<br />
Americans who loses joy atgone<br />
tomorrow. On the other hand, a good choice. Choose joy.<strong>To</strong> find joy:<br />
the end of a bad relationship joy is a character builder that provides Find time to meditate and com-<br />
or broken promise? Haveus<br />
with the tools that ultimately nurmune with God regularly.<br />
you made your car, house or companture and develop us and our self-im- Become confident with who you<br />
ion the center of your life, age.<br />
are and your purpose in life.<br />
only to end up still unhappy Consider this perspective in The Create a circle of family and<br />
or unfulfilled?<br />
New Being,a book <strong>by</strong> theologian Paul friends who support your decisions<br />
For many of us, joy has Tillich: ªThe lack of joy is a conse- to improve yourself.<br />
come to mean nothing more quence of man's separation from God, Release external things and<br />
than an experience of exterand<br />
the presence of joy is a conse- other people from responsibility for<br />
nal ecstasy, a temporary fixquence<br />
of the reunion with God.º your joy.<br />
of highs stimulated <strong>by</strong> mate- All of us are looking for more joy in Share your joy with another!<br />
rial gains. We have come toour<br />
lives. We want to do more than<br />
confuse our short-term pleasures withjust<br />
receive from life. We want to expeRev.<br />
Charmayne Cooke is a contributor<br />
a joy that can only come from the rience a positive and healthy exchange to AOL Black Voices, the Women of<br />
long-term accomplishments associ- with what is good. And good canColor<br />
Study Bible and the Africanated<br />
with our emotional and spiritual never be one-sided. It's not a fleeting American Heritage Hymnal . She sits<br />
well-being.<br />
moment like maxing out your credit on the advisory board of the Faith Quilts<br />
Joy should not be confused withcard<br />
on designer clothes or that tripproject<br />
in Boston.<br />
What's Your Testimony? Has your faith helped you lose weight, get that dream job or house, or kept you sane through<br />
a trying time? Please share it with us. Send your stories on faith or other topics so that we can share them with other readers.<br />
Send them to editor@heartandsoul.com or Soul Searching, Heart & Soul, 2514 Maryland Ave., Baltimore, MD 21218.<br />
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006 · HEARTANDSOUL.COM 71
BEST MEDICINE f<br />
Hang Time<br />
<strong>by</strong> meshelle<br />
am convinced that no one really worry.º Or she might say: ªHey Mom,<br />
What better motivation than knows. If they did, folks would alreadyI<br />
didn’t know that we were getting a<br />
childbirth to push you be there and the trip back would not ba<strong>by</strong> brother! He must be in there,<br />
toward a gym or plasticbe<br />
necessary.<br />
Mom. I see your tummy moving and<br />
surgeon? I chose the for- Most women just want to see theirsitting<br />
on your legs.º As I look in the<br />
mer and took that road less traveled waistline to again and take it from there. mirror, I realize that ªhang timeº has<br />
the neighborhood YMCA. Why here? That should be the first step and nothing to do with basketball.<br />
Simple. There isn’t a lot of pressure ateverything<br />
else will fall into place, My daughter’s innocent repartee<br />
the ªY.º No one really cares ifwhich<br />
is what the rest of your bodyechoes<br />
subconsciously day after day as<br />
When your sweats match or if youparts<br />
do anyway. They each just findthe<br />
alarm clock sounds at 5 a.m. beck-<br />
4-Year-Old travel to each exercise appara- some place to fall, and you are faced oning me to get out of bed and get to<br />
tus with a gallon of water. All with the task of cleaning up the mess. the gym. I have tried to reduce its<br />
Trainers<br />
everyone cares about is that I must admit mothering is worth power some mornings, attempting to<br />
Speak they made it in there today. Soall<br />
this times ten. Yet when you con- delete the instant message from my<br />
Truth to you can just ease into it. Sosider<br />
the dedication it takes to staymind.<br />
But as I pick up the fallen<br />
the Power that was the plan; get onhealthy<br />
and fit afterwards, you have to pieces of my once penny-bounce-able<br />
something and start moving. Ihave<br />
a visual aid as a reminder. abs, suddenly ªI’ve got mail!º And it<br />
of Gravity<br />
opted for the elliptical gadget, My 4-year-old daughter, Mkela- sounds like the sweet voice of my 4-<br />
as it had always served me well Hadiya, is not only my visual aid, butyear-old<br />
trainer.<br />
before and after my two pregnancies. also serves as a walking, talking in- So I march to the bathroom, jump<br />
Since I was a stay-at-home, breaststant<br />
messenger. It is her candor that into my uncoordinated sweats, grab a<br />
feeding mom for the first year and keeps a me heading to the gym each towel day and water bottle, and blast off to<br />
half of each of my daughters’ lives, at I 5:30 a.m. She has no idea how vital fitness. I am so glad to have this pop-<br />
had to bring the ba<strong>by</strong> with me. Imagher<br />
role has been, and the beauty up is ad as a daughter. Because of her, I<br />
ine me carrying a car seat into the she Y doesn’t take checks for her seram<br />
a healthier mom and wife. And I<br />
and placing my ba<strong>by</strong> strategically vices. in She simply observes and speaks am certain that a healthier life is a<br />
front of a machine while I attempted truth to power.<br />
wealthier life.<br />
to get my body back after she lived It sounds something like this as she<br />
there for nearly 40 weeks. I wouldwatches<br />
me undress for bed: ªMom, Meshelle is a stand-up comic, actress,<br />
pray that she would not act the fool in why do your breasts look so sad? Whomental<br />
health advocate and political<br />
that little seat as I panted and permade<br />
them cry? They sure hangsatirist<br />
featured on 88.9 WEAA, a Naspired.<br />
All of this in hopes of getting down.º Oh, it only gets better. ªI’ll tional Public Radio affiliate in Balti-<br />
back in shape, whatever that means. hold I them up for you, Mom; don’tmore,<br />
Maryland.<br />
72 HEARTANDSOUL.COM · FEBRUARY/MARCH 2006<br />
PHOTO BY JACKIE HICKS PHOTOGRAPHY: MAKEUP BY KIM LEE
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health<br />
body<br />
visit www.heartandsoul.com<br />
mind
Over two million Americans<br />
are breast cancer survivors…<br />
It’s easy – all you have to do is get behind the wheel of your favorite new BMW and drive. For every mile you<br />
drive, BMW of North America will donate $1 to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation to help fund<br />
research, education, screening, treatment and outreach programs.<br />
The Ultimate Drive<br />
bmwusa.com/<br />
theultimatedrive<br />
1-877-4-A-DRIVE<br />
Reserve your spot in The Ultimate Drive today; just call toll-free 1-877-4-A-DRIVE<br />
or log on to www.bmwusa.com/theultimatedrive<br />
of North America, LLC. The BMW name and logo are registered trademarks. You must be at least 21 years old and a licensed drive r.<br />
Michelin, Wyndham Hotels & Resorts, SIRIUS Satellite Radio, and Gear For Sports are registered trademarks of their respective owners.<br />
The Ultimate<br />
Driving Machine<br />
… join them in the drive to find a cure.
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