December 2004 Ensign - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day ...

Searching for Answers
A few days after our date, I spent my night at a 24-hour
restaurant. I wrote six pages, front and back, of theological
and ethical questions I had about the LDS Church. I was
vehemently opposed to sitting down with missionaries,
who I felt had been trained to twist the scriptures as a type
of brainwashing technique. I had decided, however, that I
would approach my Latter-day Saint friends with my list
and ask for answers. I told the Lord that if this church was
true, I would devote myself to it wholeheartedly; if I didn’t
find this to be the case, I would walk away from it with no
reservations. This would either be the easiest witnessing
opportunity my friends had ever been given or the greatest
challenge of their faith.
In fact, it proved to be both. I was not surprised
when several of my LDS acquaintances told me that they
couldn’t answer many of my questions. I was told on numerous
occasions, “That’s just the way it is.” Although my
conclusion that all Latter-day Saints had been brainwashed
was in fact strengthening, I was, nevertheless, impressed
with my friends’ concern for the fact that I needed answers.
Never did anyone belittle me for asking. Never did any of
them judge me for the fact that I didn’t agree. In reality,
they encouraged me to seek out the answers for myself
in prayer—a step which I found contrary to the notion of
indoctrination.
Over time, the Lord led several friends
into my life who were able to answer my
questions. The Spirit spoke to me,
and I felt that the truth had been
revealed. But I did not want to
accept it. I distanced myself
from the woman who had
piqued my interest, and I
prayed. I begged the Lord
for a sign, an answer. One
particular afternoon, after
driving home from work while
repeating my frequent prayer,
I laughed out loud as I pulled
into my driveway and saw the LDS missionaries helping
a neighbor move out of his house! That afternoon I
scheduled my first missionary discussion.
Blessed by His Help
I was baptized into the true Church two months later.
I did this knowing that it might mean losing all ties with
many of my friends, my parents and extended family, and
maybe even my daughter. Through Church members, the
missionaries, the stake presidency, and the bishop, I have
been blessed to recognize that I now have the support of a
new family. The Lord uses His Church to help provide for
my needs both spiritually and temporally. While I still strive
to maintain my family relationships and struggle to retain
the right to see my daughter, I hold to the assurances God
has given me through blessings and personal prayer that
someday I will again have a complete family.
Through this experience I have learned two very valuable
lessons. First, all Latter-day Saints have the responsibility
of maintaining their integrity and letting their light shine
for those around them (see 3 Nephi 12:16). After all, the
Lord used one person’s example to change my heart.
Second, we should all make the effort to learn what it is
that we believe. If we live our lives as examples of God’s
love, know how to answer difficult questions, and truly
open our hearts to the promptings of the Spirit, we
possess an overwhelming power to draw even the
most calloused hearts to God’s throne.
I testify of the truthfulness of the
Church. I testify that I now live a more
complete life because of God’s faithfulness
to a rebellious child, and I know
that the Lord’s spirit can overcome
any hardened heart. It is
my blessing and privilege to be
able to say that I am a member
of The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints. ■
Robert Marsh is a member of the Meridian
Second Ward, Meridian Idaho Stake.
ENSIGN DECEMBER 2004 17