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e leaving. When? I didn't know. But I was praying that somehow <strong>Go</strong>d would see fit to save him,<br />
For days, it seems, he would say before he left for work, "Lue, you had better look for work." In the<br />
evening he would ask, "Did you look for work?"<br />
He would often say, "Lue, you better look for work because when I leave, I am not going to give<br />
you any money.<br />
<strong>On</strong>e day he' said, "I'm going to plant a garden for you, so you will at least have fresh vegetables."<br />
He was being as kind as he knew how to be under the circumstances. I knew he didn't want to leave;<br />
neither could I go back on <strong>Go</strong>d.<br />
Day after day, "You had better look for work."<br />
I'd start out, but finally I quit looking when <strong>Go</strong>d made it clear to me, "Be still and know that I am<br />
<strong>Go</strong>d."<br />
Weeks and weeks went by. <strong>On</strong> Thursday, May 22, he didn't go out. We retired for the night. <strong>The</strong>n<br />
he started talking.<br />
"Lue, you are living in a different world than I am. Things you want to do, I don't want to do.<br />
Things I want you don't want."<br />
This was all so true. <strong>On</strong>ly a person in this situation can understand.<br />
Fred went on and I listened not saying anything until he had finished.<br />
"You don't seem to realize," he continued, "that I meant what I said. I am leaving. You better look<br />
for work. You can live in this house a year without payments and then you and the kids will be<br />
thrown out on the street. You will lose the oil burner and the Frigidaire, too." <strong>The</strong>n he reminded me,<br />
"I have planted the garden as I have every year."<br />
When he finished, I said, "Fred, you are right about our being in different worlds. <strong>Go</strong>d spoke to<br />
me and I answered the call and am living for Him. Someday <strong>Go</strong>d will speak to your heart and you<br />
will know it is <strong>Go</strong>d and not me or some other human person. It will be up to you as an individual."<br />
<strong>The</strong>n if ever I stretched my faith, I did when I told him, "I shall not do any secular work. I shall<br />
not lose the home, the Frigidaire or the oil burner. If you ever want to come back, the door will be<br />
open."<br />
I was still living under a terrific strain; not knowing if and when he was going. I will never forget<br />
the Friday evening meal on May 23rd. For years we had eaten the evening meals in our cozy dinette<br />
between the kitchen and living room. Both Fred and I wanted the children to grow up with fine table<br />
manners and so the evening meal was served with care.
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