Amphetazine 19.qxp - Project Neon
Amphetazine 19.qxp - Project Neon
Amphetazine 19.qxp - Project Neon
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E<br />
inthisissue:<br />
May 2000<br />
Ruby Slippers ❋ Healthful Helpings of Vein Love<br />
Leather, Love and the Modern Male ❋ Hepatitis Hurts!<br />
Dr. Dick ❋ Porn Review ❋ Poetry ❋ Q&A Tips ❋ More!
!READ THIS FIRST!<br />
Before you start leafing through AmphetaZINE be warned<br />
that our contributors are all very different. You might read<br />
something you don't like. If you are trying to quit using<br />
crystal right now and are worried about being triggered into<br />
using again, you might want to look at our resource list and<br />
nothing else. It's on the back cover.<br />
The views expressed in this<br />
publication are not necessarily<br />
those of AmphetaZINE.<br />
AmphetaZINE welcomes<br />
contributions which express<br />
opinions and bring up the issues<br />
being talked about by users or of<br />
concern to user communities.<br />
We try not to censor or change<br />
the meaning or context of material<br />
given to us. We do offer editing<br />
services so that nearly anyone who<br />
wishes to do so can work with us<br />
to get into print. We also reserve<br />
the right to refuse to print any<br />
material that is sent to us.<br />
Please pass this zine on to other<br />
methamphetamine users. Because<br />
this zine is for a very specific group<br />
of people (gay and bisexual men<br />
and friends who shoot crystal<br />
meth) please pass it on only to<br />
persons in this group.<br />
New issues of AmphetaZINE<br />
should appear about 4 times<br />
a year (subject to change).<br />
To come out that often we need<br />
a lot of ideas, stories, articles,<br />
cartoons, doodles ("SKETCH!"),<br />
photos, and letters from you!<br />
Feel free to tell us what you like<br />
and what you don't like about this<br />
zine. Your feedback helps us make<br />
better issues in the future. You'll<br />
find our address and phone<br />
number on page 4.<br />
AmphetaZINE is free. You can get a<br />
copy from any of NEON’s fabulous<br />
Peer Educators or from other Capitol<br />
Hill locations. Look for it at the<br />
Capitol Hill Needle Exchange,<br />
Off Broadway Needle Exchange,<br />
Gay City Health <strong>Project</strong>, Club Seattle,<br />
Basic Plumbing, and Beyond the<br />
Closet Bookstore. If you can’t find<br />
a copy, call us and we’ll tell you<br />
where to get one or throw one in<br />
the mail for you.<br />
Finally, welcome! The staff at<br />
AmphetaZINE are excited you're<br />
reading it and look forward to<br />
hearing from you!<br />
AmphetaZINE is a publication of Stonewall Recovery Services
CONTENTS<br />
★★★★★ ★★★★★★★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★ 4 Submission Requests 5 A Dedication to Mr. Fred Luna<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
A small tribute to a very special person. ★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
6<br />
9<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
Some fancy new feet to fill the ruby slippers. ★<br />
★<br />
“Down, Toto, Down.”<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
12 Leather, Love and<br />
the Modern Male<br />
18<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★ 16<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
20<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
24 What’s love<br />
got to do with it?<br />
30<br />
NEW!<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
31<br />
32 RESOURCES<br />
Who ‘Ya Gonna Call? Check the back cover.<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★<br />
Your chance to contribute and<br />
see your stuff in print!<br />
“Thanks, Doctor. I thought I<br />
was some sort of freak!”<br />
“Don’t! Stop! Don’t! Stop! Don’t! Stop!”<br />
Music is not the only thing with a throbbing beat!<br />
Contrary to popular opinion, Hepatitis is NOT fun and cool.<br />
See where Ed Aaron finds real love in<br />
this crazy merry-go-round we call life.<br />
Replace those dirty used needles with<br />
something shiny and new!<br />
How do you keep your veins fat and healthy?<br />
Sylvia gives some pointers.<br />
We’ll watch ’em — then report ’em.<br />
It’s our job.
4<br />
We want you to submit your work!<br />
You (yes, you!) have something to contribute to AmphetaZINE right now, whether it's a<br />
story, drawing, photo, survey, doodle, idea, complaint, concern, question, or conspiracy<br />
theory... Getting it printed in AmphetaZINE means sharing your work with hundreds of<br />
others in our community — you get the admiration of your friends, and the rest of us<br />
get to learn from your experiences.<br />
How to<br />
“Get it in.”<br />
★ MAIL IT IN:<br />
AmphetaZINE<br />
1122 East Pike #109<br />
Seattle, WA 98122-3934<br />
★ DROP IT OFF:<br />
At the Capitol Hill<br />
Needle Exchange.<br />
It’s open every Monday and<br />
Friday, 5:30-8:00PM.<br />
★ CALL IT IN:<br />
Call in your ideas, questions,<br />
comments and complaints to<br />
James at 622-6925<br />
BOY, WOULD<br />
I LOVE TO<br />
“GET IT IN”<br />
Here are some things to remember before you submit:<br />
★ You can submit work to AmphetaZINE with your own name, a fake name, or no name at all.<br />
If you don't tell us what name you want to use, we will print your first name and last initial.<br />
★ This zine is a booklet made of legal-sized (8 1 / 2" X 14") paper folded in half, and black and<br />
white. If you submit something in color or larger than this, the copy might not look as swell<br />
as your original.<br />
★ If you send writing, anything that we can read is fine. Even if it's written on a greasy<br />
Dick's Deluxe bag — if we can read it, we'll take it.<br />
/////////////////// THINGS WE ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT PRINT \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\<br />
We won't print the real names of people other than the author (and only the author's name<br />
if he/she specifically requests it). We won't print articles that are misleading or harmful.<br />
We won't print writing or art that we feel promotes unprotected anal sex, needle sharing,<br />
kiddie porn, or the heterosexual agenda. Other than that, it's pretty much fair game.
NEON is deeply saddened to announce that Seattle’s beloved Fred Luna<br />
passed away on December 17, 1999 from complications due to AIDS.<br />
Fred was a caring and generous man. He spent a great deal of time speaking with youth and gay men about<br />
reducing their HIV and STD risks. Fred will be missed by everyone who knew him, but<br />
especially by a fellow NEON Peer Educator, his good friend, Brian Rylander.<br />
A Dedication to Mr. Fred Luna<br />
Mr. Fred Luna was a well-known individual in the gay community as well as a good friend to many<br />
people in Seattle. I met him in 1993 at the Sea Wolf, a local gay bar, while performing at a birthday<br />
party. At first introduction, I knew we would become close fiends. Soon after, we found we had many<br />
things in common. We were both entertainers, and we collaborated on several shows doing choreography,<br />
costume design, and cosmetology. He once said that we were soul mates. I was inclined to agree.<br />
Over the years our friendship grew into a deep camaraderie. We shared everything together, including<br />
the dirt on men, drag, and the latest gossip. He possessed a deep spiritual side, and we talked about our<br />
beliefs, accepting the similarities as well as the differences therein. It seemed that he could connect with<br />
anyone, no matter what walk of life or culture they were from.<br />
Fred was a long-term survivor of AIDS and if it weren’t for his support, I would not have had the<br />
strength to get by today. He was always there for me and many other people when they were down<br />
and out. For this, I will never forget him. His involvement in the community<br />
was extensive, including the Gay Pride Parade.<br />
Cal Anderson House, where he lived, was<br />
represented in the parade three years<br />
consecutively. He even gained notoriety<br />
from a front-page article and photo in the<br />
Seattle Post Intelligencer.<br />
Taking great pride in our performances,<br />
we also formed a dance troop called Singkil -<br />
Vogue. Our cultural and theatrical dance ensemble<br />
performed as part of the Filipino community<br />
activities at Bumpershoot, Neighbors, and many<br />
other locations in Seattle.<br />
Fred was about celebrating life! Whether in drag<br />
or just hanging out with friends. His energetic and<br />
cheerful soul will be missed by many, especially me.<br />
I’ll always love you, and may God rest and keep you.<br />
Your friend forever.<br />
Brian.<br />
5
6<br />
A forum for your sexual health queries.<br />
Dear Dr. Dick:<br />
I think there’s something wrong with my sex drive. I like<br />
sex and don’t have any trouble getting hard, but I just<br />
don’t get horny when I get high. As soon as my friends<br />
shoot up, they pop instant hard-ons. They spend days<br />
partying at the bath house or on chat lines. But I<br />
don’t have any desire to have sex when I’m<br />
tweaked. Most of the time I’d rather stay<br />
home and do projects or work on my<br />
writing. Could it be a psychological<br />
problem? What’s wrong with me?<br />
—Abnormally Abstinent
Dear Abnormally Abstinent,<br />
Thanks for asking one of the most common and<br />
perplexing questions for men everywhere —<br />
Am I sexually normal?<br />
Every man wants to think he’s got<br />
it all together in the sex department.<br />
But in private, most guys are quite<br />
anxious. Issues like arousal, performance, and<br />
body image can be big worries. Then when crystal’s<br />
involved, our ideas about what is “normal” sex get<br />
tossed right out the window. Before we look at this<br />
issue of sexual desire and speed together, let’s talk<br />
about male sex drive in general.<br />
First of all, there is no “normal” male sex drive.<br />
We as men, and gay men at that, feel a lot of<br />
pressure to be “hot, hard and ready” all the time.<br />
Advertising, porn videos and magazines tell us<br />
we’re supposed to be obsessed with sex. Maintaining<br />
erections. Giving good head. Fucking all the time.<br />
“That’s just what gay men do.” These expectations<br />
are cultural stereotypes. But they’re really not true<br />
for a lot of gay men. Some guys want a lot of sex.<br />
Some guys don’t. Neither side is right or wrong.<br />
It’s really an individual preference.<br />
According to most sex experts (and I’m NOT talking<br />
about Dr. Laura), you should judge your sexual<br />
interest and activity by what feels healthy or<br />
“comfortable” for you. If your sex life feels<br />
good to you AND it’s not causing harm to<br />
yourself, your partner or your life in<br />
general, then whatever you’re<br />
doing is OK. Lots of sex is fine.<br />
But so is a little sex or none at all.<br />
Your need or desire for sex may increase and<br />
decrease on a natural cycle. One month you<br />
could care less about sex. The next month you<br />
may be hornier than a goat! This is normal. And<br />
it’s true for gay men, straight men, and women<br />
as well. Also, there are many outside factors that<br />
can affect your sex drive. Illness, medications<br />
(especially some HIV meds and antidepressants),<br />
One month<br />
you could care<br />
less about sex.<br />
The next month<br />
you may be<br />
hornier than<br />
a goat!<br />
stress, emotions and<br />
environment can all<br />
dampen your libido.<br />
Aging brings about<br />
changes as well.<br />
Your testosterone<br />
levels naturally<br />
decrease as<br />
you get older.<br />
If you think you might have a physical problem,<br />
talk to your doctor. Together you can talk about<br />
your symptoms and their causes. You may also<br />
want to check your testosterone levels, especially<br />
if you have HIV. The tests are simple and can be<br />
very helpful.<br />
Now let’s talk about speed. Contrary to what<br />
many people think, there are no secret chemicals<br />
in crystal that make it a “sex drug.” Rather, crystal<br />
is a powerful stimulant that floods your brain<br />
with chemicals. These chemicals may make you<br />
focus intently and exaggerate your feelings of<br />
pleasure. They may also increase your sense of<br />
stamina. This change in brain chemistry may<br />
(next page) 7
enhance your dancing, artistic creativity, sex, or<br />
any other activity you enjoy. But, depending on<br />
dose and time, crystal may interfere with these and<br />
other desired functions. While crystal can intensify<br />
sex, it does not automatically trigger sexual desire.<br />
Most of the sexual desire men experience on speed<br />
is learned or “expected” behavior. Here’s how it<br />
works. At first,<br />
you don’t know<br />
what sex on<br />
crystal is like.<br />
Then during<br />
your next high<br />
someone<br />
engages you<br />
in a sexual<br />
situation and<br />
you quickly<br />
find out! At<br />
this point your<br />
brain makes a<br />
connection between getting high and having sex.<br />
This response is “learned behavior.” Now your<br />
8<br />
If you get high in<br />
a bath house,<br />
chances are you<br />
will be aroused!<br />
If you are high at<br />
the QFC, you<br />
might just get<br />
caught up in reading<br />
the food labels for<br />
several hours.<br />
Q: I won’t get STDs because I don’t<br />
sleep with guys that have them.<br />
brain expects that when you get high, you want<br />
to have sex. This is expectation. A lot of guys have<br />
such intense expectation with crystal and sex that<br />
the events get reversed. Just thinking about sex<br />
makes some men want to get high.<br />
Of course, your brain can make connections<br />
between crystal and unpleasant sex as well.<br />
For some, crystal sex is empty and isolating.<br />
Some men talk about feelings of shame about<br />
what they did or who they did while high.<br />
They might feel guilty about not using condoms<br />
or not disclosing their HIV status. For others,<br />
the connection between crystal and sex may not<br />
exist. Some men use their high to focus on other<br />
activities like writing, drawing, painting, or even<br />
cleaning their house.<br />
Crystal can be a sexual drug if a man wants it<br />
to be. But the sexual effects of crystal are not<br />
the same for everybody. Sexual response will<br />
depend on how much, how often and how long<br />
a person has used. Your environment has a lot<br />
to do with it as well. If you get high in a bath<br />
house, chances are you will be aroused! If you<br />
are high at the QFC, you may just get<br />
caught up in reading the food labels<br />
for several hours.<br />
It’s your high and you can have sex<br />
if you want to. There’s nothing wrong<br />
with you if you don’t have a screaming<br />
urge to head to the bath house. But<br />
if you do get horny, remember<br />
that crystal may also lessen<br />
your resolve to fuck safely.<br />
So plan for safety before you get<br />
high. Have those condoms<br />
and lube ready before<br />
you enjoy!<br />
Dr. Dick<br />
A: Many STDs, like HIV, chlamydia, herpes and hepatitis don’t<br />
always show visible signs of infection for long periods of time.
Year 2000 has finally<br />
arrived in Seattle without<br />
much of the hoopla<br />
that everyone feared.<br />
Okay, so it wasn’t as<br />
exciting as we had<br />
hoped for. Well, wait<br />
’til you see what NEON<br />
has in store for you.<br />
9
The new year has brought some exciting<br />
changes and growth to NEON. “WHAT<br />
CHANGES?” — you ask? Not to worry.<br />
As always, Susan Kingston, James Fisher,<br />
and Jason Naki, the Un-Usual Suspects,<br />
will be on hand to keep NEON running<br />
smoothly.<br />
But Susan’s role in NEON is changing.<br />
She’ll keep seeing her “regular” clients,<br />
so don’t panic! But her position has<br />
changed a bit. Now, in addition to her title<br />
as AmphetaQueen, she’s taken the lofty<br />
title of Prevention Director at Stonewall<br />
Recovery Services. What does this<br />
mean? Well, it means that Stonewall,<br />
like NEON, is committed<br />
to developing prevention<br />
programming that is<br />
more responsive to the<br />
diverse needs of drug<br />
users. “Twelve step<br />
abstinence programs<br />
aren’t the only answer.”<br />
As many of you know,<br />
Susan feels strongly<br />
about offering “harm<br />
reduction options” for those who just ain’t<br />
ready or don’t want to quit using drugs.<br />
Susan will still spend a great deal of her<br />
time with NEON but she will be a little<br />
more behind the scenes. She’ll be sort<br />
of like the Wizard from the Wizard of Oz.<br />
Like the Wiz, she’ll be “behind the<br />
curtain” helping keep the program<br />
running smoothly and helping NEON<br />
grow in new directions.<br />
Susan wants to let everyone know that<br />
she’s not leaving NEON. Nor is she<br />
abandoning any of her loyal subjects.<br />
Her door’s still open for walk-ins, and<br />
one-on-one chats with clients.<br />
10<br />
Well, Toto,<br />
there’s a new<br />
sheriff in Oz,<br />
and he looks<br />
pretty cute in<br />
those Ruby<br />
Slippers!<br />
Okay. So, back to the Wizard of Oz. You<br />
might ask, “Who’s gonna wear Susan’s<br />
beautiful Ruby Slippers?” Well, Toto,<br />
there’s a new sheriff in Oz, and he looks<br />
pretty cute in those Ruby Slippers! His<br />
name is D.L. Scott and you can tell by the<br />
way he walks that this ain’t the first time<br />
he’s worn a pair of heels!<br />
Scott will be taking over Susan’s Support<br />
and Recovery Groups and he’ll see most<br />
of the new one-on-one clients. He’ll also<br />
work with James and NEON’s fantastic<br />
staff of Peer Educators to make sure that<br />
we are spreading NEON’s good word about<br />
safer sex & safer shooting to gay and bi<br />
guys who party with Crissy.<br />
So, who is the man wearing<br />
Susan’s Ruby Slippers? Well,<br />
believe you and me, he’s<br />
someone you’ll want to get<br />
to know. What poise — what<br />
grace! And hand picked by<br />
her Royal Highness, Susan.<br />
“When the AmphetaQueen<br />
asked me to join the NEON<br />
team, I jumped at that chance,”<br />
says DL Scott. “A program like NEON<br />
offers me the chance to bring my skills<br />
and passion for harm reduction principles<br />
to a community that I deeply care about.”<br />
“NEON fits with my view of drug treatment.<br />
People do not get strung out on a drug<br />
over night. And they usually don’t quit<br />
over night, either. Being a Crystal Meth<br />
Counselor allows me the chance to offer<br />
choices and options to gay and bisexual<br />
men who use meth. My goal is to help<br />
a client to explore ways of getting from<br />
where they are to where they want to<br />
go. And I try help them do this on their<br />
own time line.”<br />
Q: Aren’t I safe from HIV as long as I only give or get blow jobs?
You are getting very sleepy... Scott, or<br />
DL as he is sometimes called, has a<br />
very interesting background. He has<br />
most recently worked at Central Seattle<br />
Recovery Center, where he was an<br />
outreach counselor. Scott has also<br />
spent the last ten years working as<br />
a hypnotherapist. He’s a pro with<br />
issues like anxiety, pain management,<br />
and quitting smoking.<br />
When he is not working, DL enjoys<br />
the company and love of his partner<br />
of sixteen years, Hans. “Yes, there are<br />
a few of us ‘long-termers’ out there,”<br />
says DL. “We just tend to become home<br />
bodies and retire to the suburbs.” DL<br />
and Hans have enjoyed working on their<br />
house for the last eleven years, creating<br />
a peaceful and nurturing environment for<br />
each other. They also have a very spoiled<br />
child, a beautiful and furry Norwegian<br />
Forrest cat named Shadow.<br />
Scott has spent most of his life studying<br />
Eastern and Western mystical and spiritual<br />
teachings. He meditates every day. He<br />
likes to tell clients and friends how the<br />
power of the mind can change or even<br />
save your life. For example, the first time<br />
that he ever went jogging, a car that was<br />
travelling forty miles an hour hit him! He<br />
was able to relax and let his body go limp.<br />
According to the docs and police, it was<br />
his ability to relax that helped him to<br />
survive. And with only one broken shoulder!<br />
DL looks forward to working with<br />
<strong>Neon</strong> and with gay meth injectors.<br />
Call him or just stop by for a chat.<br />
He’s at Stonewall Monday thru<br />
Thursday between 8am and 7:30pm.<br />
Call (206) 461-4546 and ask for DL.<br />
(See ad on page 19 for cute ass AND information)<br />
You can reach any of the Silly Munchkins by calling the<br />
Main NEON switchboard at 622-6925 and press:<br />
1 for DL<br />
2 for James<br />
3 for Susan<br />
4 for Jason<br />
A: Gum disease, precum, STDs, and sores on your penis or in your mouth or throat<br />
can greatly increase your risk of an HIV infection (even if you’re a Munchkin).<br />
11
12<br />
Most<br />
Q: Can’t I just take care of my<br />
STDs when I get them?<br />
people agree
that there are three essential elements to<br />
any successful relationship --open<br />
communication, honesty, and trust.<br />
Establishing and maintaining this trio can<br />
take a great deal of time and effort. Now<br />
try adding Bondage, Discipline, and Fantasy<br />
Fulfillment into the equation! It looks like a<br />
recipe for disaster, right? When my current<br />
partner and I met, it was important<br />
to both of us that we begin to<br />
build mutual respect and trust<br />
from the outset. You see, the two<br />
of us enjoyed the occasional trip<br />
to the baths. We were both into<br />
leather sadomasochistic (SM)<br />
sex. And we both managed our<br />
use of crystal meth.<br />
The trust and communication<br />
required between two people to<br />
engage in SM sex, (i.e. Bondage,<br />
Discipline, and Fantasy Fulfillment) is enormous.<br />
Factor in drugs and the baths and you can see<br />
the task we had before us! In essence, we<br />
wanted to have our relationship and eat out too!<br />
Just for the record — I do not advocate, for any<br />
one but myself, injection drug use or drug use<br />
of any kind, for that matter. For me it has<br />
become an acceptable pattern of behavior...<br />
for now. If I know me, when I get bored with it,<br />
I’ll move on to something new and different —<br />
maybe something else, like skydiving or<br />
macramé?<br />
Another thing. Many SM Puritans say that you<br />
cannot play BDSM games while under the<br />
influence of drugs or alcohol... that SM play<br />
might become dangerous if both individuals<br />
don’t have all their senses and the scene gets<br />
out of control. I understand their concern.<br />
Mixing SM Sex with “mood-altering” substances<br />
requires careful planning and established<br />
rules. For me, SM Sex and Crystal allow<br />
me to express some of my deeply repressed<br />
emotions. They also help me cope with some<br />
A: Some STDs, like HIV and Herpes,<br />
are with you for a lifetime.<br />
early life issues in a non-destructive way.<br />
The same thing can be said for my partner.<br />
In order to foster and encourage the bond growing<br />
between us, we made a deal. It happened<br />
one night at the baths, after a mistake in<br />
communication led to an ugly<br />
we came up<br />
with a set<br />
of rules that<br />
we agreed to<br />
follow whenever<br />
we were high<br />
scene between us. Afterwards,<br />
like two good tweaks, we analyzed<br />
the evening from all angles.<br />
We allowed each other the<br />
freedom to express what<br />
happened as we saw it. We<br />
each told our point of view.<br />
And we both listened to the<br />
other’s point of view.<br />
Each of us made some<br />
compromises. Then, we came up with a set<br />
of rules that we agreed to follow whenever we<br />
were high. Playing by these rules, we felt, would<br />
show honor and respect for each other. And<br />
being the great Capricorn/Taurus combo we are,<br />
we acknowledged the need to give our rules the<br />
official weight they required. We wrote them<br />
down and signed our names.<br />
It took some time, but from those first simple<br />
rules, we developed our Play Contract. It is<br />
loosely based on the “scene negotiation form”<br />
we found in the Basic<br />
Basics chapter of the<br />
book SM 101, A Realistic<br />
Introduction, by Jay<br />
Wiseman. The content of<br />
our contract is fairly selfexplanatory.<br />
We use the<br />
scene negotiation form<br />
for each SM scene. We<br />
also have an Idea Box,<br />
where we put outlined<br />
ideas for a scene or roleplay<br />
that we’d like to do.<br />
(sample contract on next page)<br />
13
14<br />
This is our SM Play Contract.<br />
It is in effect when we use drugs of any kind and have any form of SM Sex.<br />
It has been agreed that we may use crystal two weekends per month —<br />
provided that all bills are current and household needs have been met.<br />
Money shall be set aside by each of us on our respective paydays. Each of us<br />
may donate as much money as we want. The amount of party favors bought for<br />
a weekend is limited to the available money from the fund. The SM Play Period<br />
begins on Saturday, after each of us has gotten off work. The SM Play Period<br />
ends Sunday night at 6 p.m.<br />
Party Favors are to be picked on the Friday before from a mutually agreed upon<br />
supplier. Both of us should be present for this transaction. If either cannot be<br />
there, the drugs are to be sealed in a locked box until both are present for the<br />
weigh in. No drugs should be purchased once scheduled play has begun. No<br />
drugs are to be used after 6 p.m. Sunday.<br />
In addition, Friday night, each will draw a card from a deck. High card will be the<br />
Dominant/Top for the weekend. If the same person draws high card three times<br />
in a row, for the next scheduled play period — he will be the Submissive/Bottom.<br />
Current scene negotiation forms will be reviewed, an area of interest may be<br />
discussed, and a SM scene developed. A scene outline can also be chosen<br />
from the Idea Box.<br />
SM play, when occurring at home, will be limited to home. No unnecessary<br />
travel will be permitted. This lowers the exposure to unpredictable elements.<br />
During Scheduled Play, when a hit is desired by either person, one person will<br />
mix, the other chooses the point he wants. We agree to always use new sterile<br />
syringes and safe injecting practices for each hit. This includes prompt and safe<br />
disposal of all used works.<br />
When at the baths, no purchasing, sales, or individual use of product may occur.<br />
We will follow our “Sex Rules” when three or more parties are present. No fucking<br />
while the other is gone. No coming without the other present. When three<br />
are present, everyone gets equal time. We know it can’t be constant attention,<br />
but no “third wheel” feelings should occur. Each of us may call a stop to a group<br />
scene, or delete an undesirable player by using the prearranged “safe word.”<br />
Play ends on or before 6 p.m. Sunday. After the end of play, clean up of ourselves,<br />
our home, and sex toys will be done by 7:30 p.m. Discussion and analysis of the<br />
scene will occur during clean up. Afterwards, a meal will be served and sleep will<br />
be required before the start of work on Monday.
Any violation of these rules is a breech of trust. Allowing each other to openly<br />
violate the rules and conditions without protest is a failure of that trust. We<br />
promise ourselves to be firm with each other, just as we would want the other to<br />
be with us. We each agree to be honest and open about all these things. Hiding<br />
and half-truths breed resentment and decay. Either person is free to express any<br />
mixed feelings or suspicions he may have. These are personal feelings and must<br />
be treated with the same respect we would want for our own. Proof of a violation<br />
will result in automatic disciplinary action.<br />
* First offense — one weekend of scheduled play will be canceled.<br />
* Second offense — three weekends of scheduled play will be canceled.<br />
* Third offense — scheduled play and crystal use are discontinued until the<br />
conflict has been resolved.<br />
This contract is valid for 90 days from the date signed. The contract may be<br />
revised, in whole or in part, at the request of either party.<br />
I, ___________________________________________________<br />
and<br />
I, ___________________________________________________<br />
do hereby agree to these rules.<br />
Signed this day, _________________________________<br />
We each sign and date a hard copy. We keep the signed copies in a file in our bedroom. As<br />
it says in the contract, we review and make changes every ninety days or so — or when a<br />
special or unforeseen circumstance arises.<br />
Every couple will have a different set of rules that will apply, but the basics are there. The rules<br />
we have set down are guidelines. I will be the first to admit that we haven’t maintained a perfect<br />
record in regard to the rules of the contract. However, we do our best.<br />
My partner and I feel the outline of the contract is a solid one. It has helped clarify many of the<br />
gray areas that existed in the beginning stages of our relationship. The contract defined some<br />
personal boundaries that may have otherwise gone unrecognized. Primarily, it has helped us to<br />
establish the open and honest lines of communication both of us want. Finally, it has helped us<br />
to build mutual trust between us, which has grown stronger over the eighteen months we have<br />
been together.<br />
15
The dance floor is alive<br />
a sheet of throbbing sex drive<br />
16
18<br />
Water! You should plan to drink at least 8<br />
to 10 glasses of water every day! This is extremely<br />
important in keeping fat and healthy veins. Drink<br />
beverages without caffeine or alcohol. Beverages<br />
like coffee and soft drinks often contain caffeine.<br />
Caffeine and alcohol counteract the good effects<br />
of water. They make your body dehydrated. Try<br />
drinking water, Kool-Aid, juices, and Gatorade.<br />
Remember. Seattle’s damp weather can make you<br />
lose your desire to drink water. You need to drink<br />
water even when you aren’t thirsty. Act like every<br />
day is a hot summer day!<br />
Dry, itchy skin! Our weather can also aggravate<br />
dry, flaky, cracky skin problems. Drinking water will<br />
give your skin the moisture it needs. Your diet can<br />
affect your skin. Eat foods that have “Omega 3”<br />
fatty acids. Foods like eggs, tuna fish, sardines<br />
and whole grain bread and cereals are naturally<br />
rich in these fatty acids. You can also buy Omega 3<br />
supplements from the vitamin section of supermarkets<br />
and drug stores. Omega 3 fatty acids can give your<br />
skin that “High Pro Glow.”<br />
Moisturize! You can use a moisturizing<br />
lotion or cream on dry skin. Make sure that you<br />
wash your skin first! You don’t want to trap dirt,<br />
with Sylvia, our Verifiable Vein Lady<br />
Here are some of Sylvia’s<br />
most common tips for keeping your veins healthy!<br />
nasty germs, and bacteria next to your skin with<br />
a greasy lotion. Putting lotion on dirty skin can be<br />
like pouring gasoline on a fire! It may trap germs<br />
and bacteria next to your skin and actually increase<br />
your skin’s irritation!<br />
Eat Fruit! Take every chance to eat a piece<br />
of fruit. Especially bananas! Fruit contains lots of<br />
vitamins that will help your body heal itself.<br />
Eat Something! Your body needs food<br />
to keep it going. Food also helps your body heal.<br />
It may be hard to think about drinking water<br />
and eating food, especially when you’re high.<br />
But drinking water and eating food are two of<br />
the most important things you can do to keep<br />
your veins fat and healthy.<br />
Speaking of drinking and eating, come and see<br />
Sylvia. She always has plenty of juice, treats,<br />
and healthful heapings of Vein Love for all!<br />
Sylvia is taking the month of May off. But stop by the<br />
Downtown or Capitol Hill Needle Exchange to find out<br />
when the next Veincare workshops are. You can also<br />
find out by calling us at 622-6925
Do you ever salivate when you<br />
look at beautiful healthy veins?<br />
Our vein care specialist,<br />
Sylvia the “Vein Lady” does.<br />
Don’t get the wrong idea. Sylvia isn’t a vampire.<br />
She doesn’t roam the streets of Seattle looking<br />
for victims.<br />
Sylvia started working with veins in 1989 at<br />
Harborview Medical Center. She spent 71 /2 years<br />
drawing blood from patients. These patients<br />
often had severe burns, injuries, or trauma that<br />
made it difficult to locate veins. Sylvia’s job was<br />
to locate unusual places and techniques to get<br />
a blood draw. She once had to draw blood from<br />
a patient’s big toe!<br />
Now, Sylvia spends some of her time working<br />
at the Off-Broadway (Stonewall) and Downtown<br />
Needle Exchange sites. Sylvia works one-on-one<br />
and with small groups of injectors. Her goal is<br />
to help folks who shoot drugs stay healthy. She<br />
can tell you a lot about veins, how to keep them<br />
healthy, and which ones to stay away from.<br />
She also discusses options for treatment,<br />
self-care, warning signs, and complications<br />
related to abscesses and misses. Sylvia does<br />
not provide medical care or treatment. But she<br />
does provide common sense first aid care. She<br />
can’t lance your abscess. But she will give you<br />
plenty of good advice, provide referrals for<br />
medical care, offer comfort, and give you<br />
plenty of gauze. She will also give you ideas<br />
about how to avoid abscesses in the future.<br />
Need help with some<br />
of life’s problems,<br />
but don’t want to<br />
get hassled<br />
about your<br />
drug use?<br />
Want to cut down or quit without<br />
the usual 12-step propaganda?<br />
Just call Scott or Susan, NEON’s fabulous, speed-savvy<br />
counselors! No sword-point conversions to AA or<br />
treatment — just friendly, non-judgmental help with:<br />
★ housing/financial assistance ★ HIV/health concerns<br />
★ managing your use ★ quitting crystal<br />
★ emotional support ★ general life problems<br />
SCOTT SUSAN<br />
Call 461-4546 for an appointment or just<br />
drop by 430 Broadway Ave. E.<br />
at Stonewall Recovery Services<br />
You don’t have to quit or even<br />
want to quit to get help!<br />
Real counseling for real users. No problem too large or small!<br />
Find out info about current support groups, too!<br />
19
Have you seen the new poster campaign with those<br />
hot guys showing off their ‘A+B’ tattoos on their<br />
bulging biceps?<br />
Surely, you have. They are the<br />
only ads on Metro buses that<br />
are obviously for gay and bi men. And manoh-man<br />
are these ads hot! Guys touching,<br />
holding hands, and looking dreamily<br />
at…YOU! The message these studs deliver<br />
is short and sweet. “Hepatitis Hurts.<br />
Get the Shots.” Getting vaccinated for<br />
both Hepatitis A & B is as important as<br />
remembering to bring condoms & lube to<br />
the baths on a Saturday night!<br />
Naturally, the stud muffins on the posters sparked<br />
my interest. But what I found most interesting<br />
is how many gay and bisexual men get Hepatitis.<br />
Safe vaccines that keep you from getting<br />
Hep A & B have been around for years.<br />
But despite this fact, most gay and bisexual<br />
guys still haven’t gotten their shots.<br />
Are Hepatitis A and B common among gay<br />
and bisexual men? They sure are. In 1997-98,<br />
2 out of every 5 cases of Hepatitis A in King County<br />
were among gay or bi men. And estimates show<br />
that gay and bisexual men are 7 times more likely<br />
to get Hep B than the general population. Most<br />
people don’t realize they have Hep A or B at first<br />
because it can take 2 to 4 weeks for symptoms to<br />
show up. If symptoms even show up! In fact, many people get Hepatitis A and B without developing<br />
symptoms. This and the fact that it is so easy to pass the viruses on are the biggest reasons why<br />
so many people get infected.<br />
What about the vaccines? They’ve been proven to work. So, why haven’t more gay and bi men<br />
rolled up their sleeves to get the shots? I decided to call the boys on the poster — the Hep Squad<br />
Hotties — to get the poop behind their vaccine campaign. I talked with Drew Emery, Seattle’s very<br />
own “Hexpert” (Hepatitis Expert). He’s the man behind this ad campaign.<br />
20
Drew said the campaign’s<br />
goals are simple:<br />
★ To raise awareness of<br />
Hepatitis A & B infection<br />
among gay and bisexual men<br />
★ To encourage men to get<br />
the vaccines<br />
★ To let gay and bi guys know<br />
where to get the vaccines<br />
★ To provide free Hepatitis<br />
vaccine to guys who can’t<br />
afford to pay.<br />
Drew told me about basic Hepatitis stuff.<br />
Hepatitis A and B are viruses. They cause<br />
the liver to swell and become inflamed. An<br />
inflamed liver makes it difficult for it to work<br />
like it should. You see, the liver’s job is to<br />
filter toxins out of the blood stream. Toxins<br />
include alcohol, drugs like crystal, LSD, pot,<br />
and prescription and “over the counter”<br />
medications. If you have a Hepatitis infection,<br />
your liver can’t do its job right. Toxins quickly<br />
build up in your blood stream. If enough<br />
toxins build-up, you will get very sick.<br />
Getting sick with Hepatitis A sucks! The sickness<br />
can keep you in bed for several weeks.<br />
You can even end up in the hospital.<br />
Eventually, the sickness will pass — but<br />
there will be those weeks you’re lying curled<br />
up wishing you’d gotten vaccinated instead.<br />
The symptoms of Hepatitis B are similar.<br />
But unlike Hepatitis A, an unlucky 5-10% of<br />
people that are infected will never get rid of<br />
the virus. Instead, they develop a life-long<br />
infection. Over a period of years, their Hep B<br />
infection can permanently damage their liver.<br />
Liver damage occurs when scar tissue builds<br />
up. This is called cirrhosis. Scarring can<br />
cause your liver to stop working altogether.<br />
It can also lead to liver cancer. And we all<br />
know that you can’t live without a liver.<br />
So, how do you get Hepatitis? First, let’s<br />
talk about Hepatitis A. And to do that, let’s talk shit!<br />
Hepatitis A virus is found in the shit (feces)<br />
of someone who has a Hep A infection.<br />
There are two common ways to get Hep A:<br />
1 You eat food that has been prepared by someone<br />
who has Hepatitis A and hasn’t carefully cleaned<br />
his/her hands after using the bathroom.<br />
2 You have sexual contact with someone who<br />
has it and you put “something” contaminated<br />
into your mouth.<br />
Bath House Betty says,<br />
“When dining out at sex clubs or the baths, it is<br />
proper etiquette to wash your hands, dick, and butt<br />
with soap and hot water after each boy and/or<br />
sexual escapade — a little mouth wash can also<br />
help kill germs and keep your breath minty fresh.”<br />
Okay — enough of the shit talk! How<br />
do you get Hepatitis B? Most people get<br />
Hepatitis B from having unprotected anal<br />
or vaginal sex or sharing needles or works<br />
with someone who has Hep B. Hep B is<br />
found in an infected person’s blood,<br />
semen, and/or vaginal secretions. Other<br />
ways to get it include getting a tattoo or<br />
body piercing from someone who doesn’t<br />
properly sterilize their equipment. Hepatitis<br />
B is an extremely “hearty” virus. It can live<br />
outside the body for a long time in tiny<br />
quantities of dried up blood. So, don’t<br />
share personal items like toothbrushes,<br />
razors, cottons, cookers, mixing and rinse<br />
water, or syringes.<br />
And remember…Hep B is 100 times<br />
easier to catch or pass on than HIV.<br />
The big difference is — there’s a vaccine<br />
for Hepatitis B!<br />
21
So are the vaccines effective? Yes. And they are safe, too.<br />
These vaccines trigger your body to build up antibodies that will<br />
fight off Hep A & B if and when you ever get exposed to these<br />
viruses. The Hep A vaccine requires 2 shots. You get the second<br />
shot six months after the first. The Hep B vaccine takes 3 shots<br />
spread out over six months. You can get Hep A & B vaccine<br />
shots at the same time and only visit the clinic a total of three<br />
times. The shots are usually given in your upper arm and are<br />
relatively painless. Plus, they can sure save you a lot of grief,<br />
pain, and worry later on. Protection against Hep A & B is<br />
especially important for people who shoot drugs and for folks<br />
that have HIV. Many injectors already have the virus called<br />
Hepatitis C. And getting infected with Hep A or B on top of<br />
Hep C can be real bad news. The combined infection is often<br />
much more serious and can lead to an early and ugly death.<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
22<br />
!NOW!<br />
IS THE TIME TO GET<br />
VACCINATED AGAINST<br />
THESE VIRUSES!<br />
Most medical insurance plans<br />
cover Hepatitis A & B shots<br />
if you are at “high risk.” You<br />
are considered “high risk”<br />
if you are a gay or bisexual<br />
man or someone who injects<br />
drugs. You may have to tell<br />
your doctor about your “high<br />
risk” behavior to get the A & B<br />
vaccines. But, there’s no<br />
reason why your doc needs<br />
to tell your insurance<br />
company or anyone else.<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
★<br />
Fact:<br />
Up to 90% of people who<br />
shoot drugs have Hepatitis C.<br />
Unfortunately, we don’t have<br />
a vaccine for Hep C — yet.<br />
But getting Hep A or B on top<br />
of Hep C can be very serious<br />
— it can even kill you.<br />
Fact:<br />
Getting vaccinated for both<br />
Hepatitis A&B can keep you<br />
help keep you healthy and<br />
save your life!<br />
So, contact your regular clinic or doctor<br />
to get your Hepatitis A & B vaccines. If<br />
you don’t have a regular clinic or doctor,<br />
then call the HIV/STD HOTLINE at<br />
(206) 205-STDS(7837). Tell ‘em that<br />
you’d like to get vaccinated for Hepatitis<br />
A & B and they’ll hook you up. The<br />
Hep Squad provides free vaccines to<br />
folks who are low-income or don’t have<br />
adequate medical insurance. The hotline<br />
can make referrals to clinics that will<br />
provide free vaccine and free (or low-cost)<br />
Hepatitis screening.<br />
REMEMBER — Hepatitis Hurts!<br />
Getting the Hepatitis shots is one of the<br />
most hassle-free ways to stay healthy.<br />
The Hep Squad will also give you a cool<br />
T-shirt when you come in for your first<br />
shot. So, what’s the catch? There is no<br />
catch — for real.<br />
Get the shots. Get a T-shirt. Then, relax<br />
and feel the weight of worrying about<br />
Hepatitis A & B being lifted from your<br />
soul. Ahhh...
Hepatitis<br />
Symptoms<br />
Hepatitis A symptoms come<br />
on rapidly and are short-lived.<br />
Symptoms usually last one<br />
to two weeks. Hep A and B<br />
are especially dangerous for<br />
people who already have an<br />
existing liver condition like<br />
Hepatitis C. Getting Hepatitis<br />
A or B on top of Hepatitis C<br />
can be very serious, even<br />
life-threatening.<br />
About 1 in 10 people who<br />
get Hepatitis B will develop<br />
a long-lasting infection that<br />
can continue to kill liver cells<br />
and lead to cirrhosis or liver<br />
cancer. Also, once you get<br />
it, there is no effective<br />
treatment or cure for Hep B.<br />
Immunization is the only<br />
effective way to prevent the<br />
potential health problems<br />
associated with Hepatitis B.<br />
Hepatitis Symptom* Short List<br />
■ upset stomach<br />
■ stomach or side pain<br />
■ loss of appetite<br />
■ vomiting<br />
■ feeling tired, weak, or "achy"<br />
■ joint pain<br />
■ fever<br />
■ yellow or brown urine<br />
■ pale or white colored shit<br />
■ yellowish eyes and/or skin<br />
*Many people have no physical<br />
symptoms but they can still pass<br />
the virus on to their friends and<br />
loved ones.<br />
Q: Am I safe from STDs<br />
if I only have oral sex?<br />
COMING SOON!<br />
NEW<br />
MEDICAL<br />
CLINIC!<br />
at Downtown Needle Exchange,<br />
1511-2nd Avenue (between Pike & Pine)<br />
■ Abscess & wound care<br />
■ Hepatitis A & B vaccines<br />
■ Other health care needs<br />
Opening in May<br />
M-F 1:15-4:30pm<br />
Walk-ins welcome<br />
Sponsored by:<br />
Public Health — Seattle & King County<br />
Pioneer Square Medical Clinic<br />
Health Care for the Homeless Network<br />
A: The mouth and throat can be the happy home of gonorrhea and while<br />
there’s lower risk than with fucking, you can get HIV from oral sex. 23
What’s love got<br />
to do with it?<br />
24<br />
Tina Turner<br />
must have<br />
been truly<br />
tweaked<br />
to let<br />
herself get<br />
all messed<br />
up by Ike.<br />
But look<br />
who’s on<br />
top now!<br />
ByEd<br />
Aaron<br />
Still, I can understand — love, or at least what we think<br />
is love, can make us do some pretty messed up stuff.<br />
Q: If I had an STD, wouldn’t I know it?
So this is supposed to be a “love-filled” issue<br />
of AmphetaZINE. And since that’s the case,<br />
I decided (with a little coaxing from fellow<br />
NEON Peer Educators) to sit down and<br />
talk about my own experience with love.<br />
I’ll admit to a certain amount of near terror<br />
about this whole business for two reasons.<br />
First, I’m more comfortable talking with<br />
people. A writer I’m not. It’s hard enough<br />
to find the right words to speak sometimes,<br />
let alone to try writing them. It helps to<br />
admit being an amateur at this — it was<br />
the boss’s idea. Anyway, I think severe<br />
boredom must have brought it on.<br />
The second reason for my terror is that I<br />
must admit how little I know about or have<br />
experienced love in my life. To me, it’s been<br />
more of an abstract concept defined by<br />
religions, classical literature and Hollywood<br />
tear-jerk dramas. Remember? Joan<br />
Crawford all hot and bothered over some<br />
hunk of man-meat named Johnny Guitar.<br />
I thought Mercedes McCambridge was<br />
gonna gersch all over herself for<br />
almost two thirds of that movie.<br />
Love and Hollywood. “If you<br />
played it for her you can play it<br />
for me. Play it Sam. Play As Time<br />
Goes By.” Closest moment<br />
to Bogart crying like a<br />
pussy-whipped sissy in his<br />
whole career. People, we<br />
were supposed to fall for<br />
the “okey-doke” that<br />
love caused all that<br />
emotional titillation.<br />
My own theory is that it<br />
was just too damned hot<br />
in Casablanca. It is near<br />
the Equator, isn’t it?<br />
What other images are<br />
conjured up in my memory<br />
regarding l’amour? Um... I wrote French.<br />
Oh yes, Patti LaBelle’s ode to the working<br />
girl, honey. “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi<br />
ce soir?” After that song came out there<br />
were ho’s all over America running around<br />
swearin’ to high<br />
heaven that they<br />
had some Creole<br />
in them. No doubt<br />
followed by some<br />
Irish, some Dutch,<br />
some German,<br />
some Spanish,<br />
and a whole lot<br />
of Black folks just<br />
passin’ by. Oh<br />
yeah. Let’s sing<br />
about love. Why<br />
am I hearing<br />
the SOS band in<br />
my head all of a sudden? “Baby we can<br />
do it, take your time, do it right; we can do<br />
it, Baby, do it tonight.” —Perhaps even<br />
longer if our checkout time ain’t till noon.<br />
What I have known of love on<br />
a personal level — whether<br />
giving or receiving it — is best<br />
compared to a snowflake<br />
passing through a raging<br />
fire. Now you see it; now<br />
you don’t. Today you’ll feel<br />
it; tomorrow you won’t. The<br />
only real, genuine, sincere,<br />
constant, and unquestioned<br />
love I’ve ever had in my life<br />
has come from my biological<br />
and my adopted families.<br />
I am the second son of<br />
nine children, but was<br />
raised as an only child<br />
by my adoptive parents.<br />
We lived in a sixteen-room<br />
house on the corner of<br />
A: Sometimes but not always. Many STDs, like chlamydia, gonorrhea and herpes<br />
can be in your throat, your dick or your butt without any symptoms.<br />
I thought<br />
Mercedes<br />
McCambridge<br />
was gonna<br />
gersch all<br />
over herself<br />
for almost<br />
two thirds<br />
of that movie.<br />
25
16th and Union from 1956<br />
to 1970. In it, I learned to<br />
love big band, swing, jazz,<br />
be-bop, the blues, soul and,<br />
just to mystify my parents,<br />
the Beatles. I learned to love<br />
books. They were often the<br />
only friends I had. Dad got<br />
me eight sets of the first HO<br />
scale trains sold in Seattle,<br />
and built a layout that ran<br />
through three rooms in our<br />
basement. It was mine but<br />
he played with it more than<br />
I did. Around the age of<br />
eleven, I started to play<br />
more under the layout<br />
than on it. Games. Doctor.<br />
I specialized in proctology<br />
and urology. For a long<br />
time, I wanted to be a<br />
doctor — code named<br />
“Dr. Feelgood.”<br />
Dad died of cancer in 1970.<br />
Mom saw me graduate<br />
from Garfield in 1971 and<br />
give a commencement<br />
speech in the Opera House<br />
that had grown ups crying<br />
like babies. Next, I spent two<br />
years at Oberlin College<br />
and two years at Seattle<br />
University. Then, mom<br />
died in a house fire in our<br />
Beacon Hill home. It started<br />
under my bed from multiappliance<br />
electrical cords<br />
that caused a short circuit.<br />
On April 19, 1975, the<br />
person who taught me love<br />
as I’d known it best, from<br />
whom I’d known love the<br />
longest, and who lived love<br />
26<br />
with a purity of heart<br />
I haven’t known since,<br />
left me, for the first time in<br />
my life. Completely alone.<br />
I laid part of my soul to rest<br />
in Washington Memorial<br />
Park four days later with her.<br />
Reconnecting to my natural<br />
family was part of being<br />
regrounded to reason<br />
despite my emotional state.<br />
Immediately upon their<br />
hearing of my adoptive<br />
mother’s death — out of<br />
Q: Gonorrhea and Chlamydia are no big deal, right?<br />
the blue, from Spokane,<br />
Tacoma, Olympia, Yakima,<br />
Vancouver, Portland - all of<br />
my siblings returned home<br />
knowing it was where they<br />
should be. The spirit of a<br />
woman they had all known<br />
as an “aunt” lived on in me.<br />
Out of her death came the<br />
awareness that distance<br />
and difference in my life<br />
up to that time had never<br />
caused my natural family<br />
to displace me or their<br />
memories to erase the
ond of common blood.<br />
The love I’ve come to share<br />
with my natural mother has<br />
helped heal old emotional<br />
wounds.<br />
But it took me twenty years<br />
of therapy to stop grieving.<br />
Another three to accept<br />
that I couldn’t have known<br />
how old and worn the<br />
wiring in that house really<br />
was. The fact that I was at<br />
a friend’s birthday party<br />
throwing logs into a blazing<br />
fire at the exact same<br />
moment that my adoptive<br />
mother was dying of smoke<br />
inhalation was really just a<br />
tragic coincidence. Twentythree<br />
years later I started to<br />
learn to love again. Starting<br />
with myself.<br />
Maternal love has blessed<br />
me twice in my lifetime.Most<br />
who lose it once never<br />
regain it again. There is<br />
such a mixture of emotions<br />
in that statement. Sadness<br />
from loss balanced with the<br />
joy from restoration. My two<br />
mother’s personalities were<br />
and are different — very much<br />
so. But I am their common<br />
bond. And if traits of<br />
character are inheritable,<br />
then I have an indomitable<br />
will, boundless compassion,<br />
and I obtain joy through<br />
nurturing the best in others,<br />
even when they can’t see<br />
it. Instruction created the<br />
conviction of my principles<br />
and the courage to defend<br />
them. I keep an open mind<br />
to receive all knowledge<br />
“Some day he’ll come along,<br />
the man I love,<br />
And he’ll be big and strong,<br />
the man I love.”<br />
Isn’t Gershwin romantic?<br />
Yes, indeed, “Hit me again Ike —<br />
and this time, put some stank on it!”<br />
Editor’s note<br />
Ed is a Peer Educator with <strong>Project</strong> NEON. His artwork was featured in Issue 18 of AmphetaZINE.<br />
We’ll have more on Ed’s life and his “twenty years of grieving” in a future issue.<br />
A: Having an STD can make you up to 5 times more likely to give or get HIV.<br />
that makes me not only<br />
aware, but wiser, too.<br />
I am an avid student<br />
and I’ve learned a humility<br />
that allows me at times<br />
to teach what I know to<br />
others. Above all, I’ve<br />
learned the power of<br />
giving and the precious<br />
healing it can bring.<br />
So, Hollywood — what say<br />
you? You and your tragic,<br />
tear-jerking movies about<br />
unrequited love. And the<br />
music industry is no better<br />
— promising that some<br />
man’s gonna show up and<br />
take all that pain away...<br />
You can’t tell me that Ike<br />
was lovin’ Tina Turner with<br />
his fists.<br />
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥<br />
27
28<br />
Schlongs In The Wind presents<br />
BathhouseBoyfest!<br />
with surprise guest appearance by<br />
Mr. Syphilis<br />
These boys have<br />
no idea that<br />
Mr. Syphilis has just<br />
joined the party.<br />
“If you have more than 1 sexual partner,<br />
get tested for STDs and HIV Every 3 months!”<br />
Brought to you by the friendly folks at the HIV/AIDS Program
TESTING!<br />
Not nearly as fun as the bathhouse boyfest,<br />
but surprisingly simple and friendly!<br />
Club Seattle<br />
1520 Summit (between Pike & Pine)<br />
Sat. 10pm-2am. Free & Anonymous<br />
(Entry to Club Seattle not included.)<br />
ORAL TESTING<br />
PEE IN A CUP<br />
Q-TIP IN THE PENIS<br />
Your choice of locations:<br />
Northwest AIDS Foundation<br />
Harborview Medical Center<br />
Ground Floor (corner of 9th Ave. & Alder)<br />
Wed. & Fri. 9am-12noon. Free & Anonymous<br />
Walk-Ins or Appointments (206)731-3590<br />
That’s not<br />
so bad!<br />
FUN!<br />
OUCH!<br />
No way!<br />
(don’t worry,<br />
you don’t have to<br />
do it this way)<br />
Club Z<br />
1117 Pike (between Boren & Minor)<br />
Fri. 10pm-2am. Free & Anonymous.<br />
(Entry to Club Z not included.)<br />
Don’t Want to get tested<br />
at the Baths? Call 205-7837<br />
for other options.<br />
29
While browsing one of the city’s best places to get porn<br />
(the Crypt,) I had the urge to actually rent a “cheezy”<br />
porn flick. If you have never seen one, then consider<br />
yourself very lucky. In my humble opinion, so many gay<br />
porn flicks that are “inspired” by a popular movie or<br />
TV show lack a whole lot of creativity and originality.<br />
Nevertheless, so long as the sex is decent, the film will<br />
make some money and the producers will make more bad<br />
porn with that money. That’s where I come in, helping<br />
innocent porn consumers from becoming caught in<br />
the vicious cycle of the porn industry; guiding the way<br />
to ultimate “porno-enlightenment.”<br />
Hellrazer caught my attention because the original<br />
Hellraiser (written by Clive Barker) is one of my all<br />
time favorite horror films. Also the back of the box<br />
sounded promising.<br />
“Like a human fly, caught in a web of chains, helpless<br />
and trapped, hot blond boy Dax Kelly is flogged,<br />
fingered, paddled, dildoed and tease fucked by<br />
Satanic stud Joey (The Club) D’Falco, to an<br />
explosive conclusion!”<br />
I was disappointed that the director, Mark Reilly,<br />
did not arrange a special guest appearance by Pinhead.<br />
There seemed to be an extreme shortage of cast<br />
members. In fact the entire cast had only two Stars.<br />
Dax Kelly and Joey D’Falco. Next time, I’ll pay closer<br />
attention to the cast when choosing a porn flick.<br />
The scene opens in a dark, hazy room with red lighting.<br />
The “web of chains” that holds the hot, blonde bottom,<br />
Dax, along with the chain link fence in the background<br />
set “the mood.” The devilish top, Joey, enters the room<br />
fully decked out in leather and ready for action. In fact<br />
30<br />
Hellrazer ©1998 (An Alpha Omega/TALOS Entertainment Production)<br />
Directed By: Mark Reilly<br />
Starring: Dax Kelly and Joey D’Falco<br />
[2 1 /2 erections out of 5]<br />
Rating Guide:<br />
1 Cock (limp larry)<br />
to 5 Cocks (exploding milk truck)<br />
RATING<br />
he wastes no time at all. He grabs his flogger and shows<br />
the proper way to treat a bound and gagged sex slave.<br />
Like a good bottom, Dax begs for more.<br />
The variety of sex toys used in the scene is outstanding.<br />
Typically, SMBD films will emphasize too much of<br />
one type. For instance, dildos frequently get over-used.<br />
A scene will have some paddles or whips, then be<br />
quickly upstaged by the heavy artillery of dildos!<br />
Variety is the spice of life. This is also true for SMBD<br />
play. Be creative and resourceful, use things that<br />
are lying around the house. Clothespins are a perfect<br />
example. Joey puts them across each of Dax’s nice<br />
round butt cheeks, sending Dax out into orbit. However,<br />
Joey’s forte is using the toy between his legs. While<br />
he’s plowing Dax’s bubble butt, the chemistry between<br />
them is hotter than Hell! The way Joey tease-fucks him<br />
is superb. Like the cover promised, the climax between<br />
them is explosive.<br />
Inevitably, the “cheeze” sets in. Apparently, the studio<br />
over-spent their already low budget (probably on the<br />
party favors provided to the cast during the explosive<br />
sex scene.) Suddenly Dax falls asleep from his taxing<br />
orgasm (how clever!). Now the producers attempt to<br />
stretch a 30-minute film to 60. This isn’t a dream<br />
sequence; it’s a nightmare! The next 20 minutes are<br />
instant replays of the sex scenes with some hazy lines<br />
thrown across the screen. A tip for the director: re-runs<br />
belong on TV, not in porn.<br />
Dax wakes up. The end. Wait! It’s not over until the<br />
audience gets a sneak preview of the much-anticipated<br />
sequel: Hellrazer II... which I can guarantee I will not<br />
fall for the second time around. Happy porn watching!
Locations Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat<br />
DOWNTOWN<br />
1511 2nd Ave.<br />
between Pike & Pine<br />
WHITE CENTER<br />
Van at SW 100th<br />
& 14th Ave. SW<br />
SOUTH PARK<br />
Van at Orr Street &<br />
14th Ave. Bridge<br />
RAINIER VALLEY<br />
Van on S Forest St. one<br />
block west of Rainier,<br />
behind auto parts store<br />
CAPITOL HILL<br />
Van on 10th Ave. between<br />
Madison & Union<br />
OFF BROADWAY<br />
SOS/STONEWALL<br />
903 East Republican<br />
just east of Broadway<br />
SOS (U-DISTRICT)<br />
Table in alley behind<br />
post office at NE 43rd<br />
& U Way NE<br />
6:30pm<br />
to<br />
9:00pm<br />
1:00pm<br />
to<br />
5:00pm<br />
1:00pm<br />
to<br />
5:30pm<br />
9:30am<br />
to<br />
11:30am<br />
5:30pm<br />
to<br />
8:00pm<br />
5:00pm<br />
to<br />
7:00pm<br />
1:00pm<br />
to<br />
5:30pm<br />
6:30pm<br />
to<br />
8:30pm<br />
6:30pm<br />
to<br />
9:00pm<br />
1:00pm<br />
to<br />
5:30pm<br />
6:30pm<br />
to<br />
8:30pm<br />
6:30pm<br />
to<br />
9:00pm<br />
5:00pm<br />
to<br />
7:00pm<br />
1:00pm<br />
to<br />
5:30pm<br />
6:30pm<br />
to<br />
8:30pm<br />
6:30pm<br />
to<br />
9:00pm<br />
Open 7<br />
days a week!<br />
1:00pm<br />
to<br />
5:30pm<br />
9:30am<br />
to<br />
11:30am<br />
5:30pm<br />
to<br />
8:00pm<br />
1:00pm<br />
to<br />
5:00pm<br />
2:00pm<br />
to<br />
4:00pm<br />
6:30pm<br />
to<br />
9:00pm<br />
1:00pm<br />
to<br />
5:00pm<br />
AmphetaZINE is free. You can get a copy from any of NEON’s fabulous Peer Educators or from other<br />
Capitol Hill locations. Look for it at the Capitol Hill Needle Exchange, Off Broadway Needle Exchange,<br />
Gay City Health <strong>Project</strong>, Club Seattle, Basic Plumbing, and Beyond the Closet Bookstore. If you can’t<br />
find a copy, call us and we’ll tell you where to get one or throw one in the mail for you.<br />
31
RESOURCES<br />
★AIDS / HIV / STD's ★<br />
Get your questions answered<br />
at one of these numbers:<br />
AIDS Care Access <strong>Project</strong> (ACAP)<br />
(Referrals to physicians, dentists and clinics for people with HIV;<br />
assistance with the HIV Early Intervention Program (EIP) and<br />
the AIDS Prescription Drug Program) 284-9277<br />
HIV/AIDS Hotline<br />
(National) 1-800-342-2437<br />
Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD)<br />
Hotline (National) 1-800-227-8922<br />
HIV/STD Hotline (King County)<br />
(Confidential information line, referrals for STD & HIV testing)<br />
205-7837 / TDD: 296-4863<br />
Get tested at any of these places:<br />
HIV/STD Testing<br />
205-7837 / TDD: 296-4863<br />
Seattle Gay Clinic (HIV and STD testing,<br />
sliding scale, walk-ins ok) 461-4540<br />
Harborview STD Clinic 731-3590<br />
Spring Street Clinic 296-4848<br />
Get HIV/AIDS support<br />
at one of these places:<br />
Chicken Soup Brigade (Transportation, visits,<br />
and meal help) 328-8979<br />
Northwest AIDS Foundation<br />
(HIV resources and referrals) 329-6923<br />
POCAAN – People of Color Against<br />
AIDS Network (Support groups for HIV+ Latino and<br />
African American men, harm reduction group for users)<br />
322-7061<br />
Seattle AIDS Support Group (Emotional<br />
support for people affected by HIV) 322-2437<br />
Madison Clinic 731-5100<br />
DRUG RESOURCES<br />
Alcohol/Drug Help Line (24hr) 722-3700<br />
Outside of Seattle: 1-800-562-1240<br />
Marijuana Treatment <strong>Project</strong><br />
223-3644 xt. 256 or 241<br />
Narcotics Anonymous (12-Step) 451-1516<br />
Needle Exchange (See inside back cover of this zine<br />
for locations and times)<br />
NEON (Harm reduction options for gay and bisexual guys<br />
who use crystal) 622-6925<br />
Stonewall Recovery Services (Harm reduction<br />
and recovery services for the trans-les-bi-gay community. Free<br />
one-on-one counseling and a variety of group meetings for<br />
crystal users sponsored by NEON) 461-4546<br />
Street Outreach Services 625-0858<br />
These resources are for Seattle unless otherwise noted. If you're not in Seattle,<br />
consult the community pages of your phonebook.<br />
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★<br />
EMERGENCIES<br />
Crisis Clinic 461-3222 / TDD 461-3219<br />
Fire/Police/Ambulance 9-1-1<br />
Washington Poison Center<br />
526-2121 / TDD 517-2394<br />
LEGAL SERVICES<br />
American Civil Liberties Union<br />
(ACLU) 624-2180<br />
Evergreen Legal Services 464-5911<br />
Lawyer Referral and<br />
Volunteer Legal Services 623-2551<br />
Mothers Against<br />
Police Harassment 329-2033<br />
The Tenants Union<br />
(landlord problems) 723-0500<br />
✌<br />
✌<br />
✌<br />
✌<br />
✌<br />
✌<br />
✌<br />
✌<br />
✌<br />
✌<br />
FOOD STAMPS / MED COUPONS<br />
1) Go to the blue pages at the<br />
front of your phone book.<br />
2) Find the section called<br />
"State Government."<br />
3) Look under Community<br />
Service Offices (CSO).<br />
4) Find the number for the<br />
office for your ZIP code.<br />
✌<br />
Mental Health ✌<br />
Crisis Intervention Services 731-3415 ✌<br />
✌<br />
Community Psychiatric Clinic 461-3614<br />
✌<br />
Seattle Counseling Service 323-1768 ✌<br />
Suicide Crisis Line (24hr) 461-3222 ✌<br />
✌<br />
Outside Seattle, call 1-800-244-5767 ✌<br />
UW Medical Center (24hr) 548-4000 ✌<br />
✌<br />
Housing<br />
Northwest AIDS Foundation 329-6923<br />
Downtown Emergency<br />
Services Center 464-1570<br />
Seattle Housing Authority 615-3340<br />
Pioneer Housing 322-6645<br />
Plymouth Housing 374-9409<br />
SUICIDE<br />
Crisis Line (24hr) 461-3222<br />
Outside Seattle, call 1-800-244-5767<br />
UW Medical Center (24hr) 548-4000<br />
HEALTH CARE<br />
Community Info Line 461-3200<br />
Country Doctor Community Clinic<br />
(Serves Capitol Hill area) 461-4503<br />
Forty-Fifth Street Clinic (Serves mostly<br />
U-Dist. & Wallingford, but not strict) 633-3350<br />
Harborview Medical Center<br />
• Emergency 731-3074<br />
• Acute Illness (Non-emergency) 731-5867<br />
• Clinic Information 731-5855<br />
King County Health Dept. Info Line<br />
(Referrals for medical and dental) 296-4600<br />
Pike Market Medical Clinic 728-4143<br />
Pioneer Square Clinic 521-1750<br />
Providence Urgent Care 320-4900<br />
Gay, Bisexual,Lesbian,Transgender<br />
Bi-Net 728-4533<br />
Gay City/Queercore (HIV prevention and<br />
Community Development — Queercore targets<br />
gay/bi men 20-29) 860-6969<br />
Ingersoll Gender Center 329-6651<br />
Lesbian Resource Center 322-3953<br />
Queer Youth Info Line 322-7900<br />
Seattle Counseling Service 323-1768<br />
SURVIVORS (VIOLENCE)<br />
Seattle Rape Relief<br />
(24hr hotline for men & women) 632-7273<br />
Domestic Violence Hotline (24hr)<br />
1-800-562-6025<br />
Alternatives to Fear<br />
(Self defense) 328-5347<br />
Seattle Counseling Service 323-1768<br />
Harborview (Groups for men, women,<br />
teens and children) 521-1800<br />
Don't see what you're looking for?<br />
Try calling the<br />
Community Info Line at 461-3200!<br />
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★