Turning the Tables on Table Topics - Craig Harrison's Expressions ...

<strong>Turning</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Tables</strong> on Table Topics
(Continued from page 25)
RESPONSE: “I’m Demos<strong>the</strong>nes and I better take those
rocks out of my mouth so I can enunciate a response
to that very important subject ...”
Consider this perspective:
TOPIC: Freeway traffic.
RESPONSE: “Captain’s Log star date 5419 ... investi -
gating planet comprised of millions of multi-colored
rectangular projectiles traversing established corridors.
When mating occurs, infrequently, o<strong>the</strong>rs pass by
slowly, some flash lights and motion along corridor
comes to a complete stop.”
Play Devil’s Advocate. This is an old favorite of
10 authors, poets and even political candidates. It has
built-in counterpoint. Take what you’re given and argue
<strong>the</strong> opposite of what you would normally want to
express.
TOPIC: Should <strong>the</strong> government spend more money
on education?
RESPONSE: “No, I say we give some money to <strong>the</strong>
television cartoon producers instead! Let me tell you
why ...”
Everyone Loves a Mystery. Build suspense into your
11response. Leave us with a question or at least some
doubt. Paint a picture, but leave a few strokes unpainted.
Or set us up to expect one picture before surprising us
with ano<strong>the</strong>r. Give us a twist. Shock us! Introduce speculation,
a shadow of a doubt or an unknown element.
You might even end on a question or in mid-sentence.
12
When All Else Fails ... Say Nothing (at Length). If
you’re absolutely, 100 percent stumped, don’t give
in. Speak but don’t say anything. Use a string of openings,
small talk, clichés or even gibberish. Remember,
content is only part of <strong>the</strong> presentation. Body language,
inflection, nuance and o<strong>the</strong>r embellishments all contri -
bute to a successful topic response.
Repeat <strong>the</strong> question, repeatedly:
TOPIC: “To Be or Not to Be?”
RESPONSE: “I thank you for asking me that profound
question.
To be or not to be. (pause)
To BE or not to BE
To be or NOT, to be. That is <strong>the</strong> question.
Or is it?
Is it or is it Not, that is to Be…determined.”
Here’s an alternate response to <strong>the</strong> same topic:
TOPIC: “To Be or Not to Be, that is <strong>the</strong> question.”
RESPONSE: “I’m glad you asked that question. For
throughout time, that has been <strong>the</strong> question. I’ve read
it in books, heard it on stage and wondered it myself.
To Be or Not to Be? And whe<strong>the</strong>r or not you know
<strong>the</strong> answer, or can explain it to o<strong>the</strong>rs, it is a question
you must ultimately answer for yourself. To Be or Not
to Be? Some questions have a yes or no answer.
O<strong>the</strong>rs are multiple choice. Still o<strong>the</strong>rs are trick questions.
If ever <strong>the</strong>re were a $64 question, this would
be it. To Be or Not to Be? They say that is <strong>the</strong> question,
but I say it is more of a dilemma, a conundrum,
a riddle, a mystery of life and a very good Table
Topic. But ra<strong>the</strong>r than let it work me up, I remain
nonplused. After all, to worry about whe<strong>the</strong>r To Be or
Not to Be is really much ado about nothing!”
One contestant I know gave a Table Topics response
entirely in chicken: Every utterance was a form of bawk,
bawk, bawk. Unfortunately he was disqualified for fowl
language! So good luck, have fun and don’t run any of
<strong>the</strong> timekeeper’s red lights! T
Craig Harrison, DTM, is <strong>the</strong> founder of LaughLovers Toast -
masters in Oakland, California. He is a professional speaker
and principal of Expressions of Excellence. For more
information, visit www.ExpressionsOfExcellence.com.
Febr uar y 2010 TOASTMASTER 29