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The New York Times Magazine, Sunday, August 22, 1999

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<strong>The</strong> Outsiders<br />

whose regional high school, ConVal, sits in Peterborough, N.H., the setting that<br />

inspired Thornton Wilder's "Our Town." But what it shares with those other<br />

places, and with countless others across the country, is a brutally enforced<br />

teen-age social structure.<br />

Below the<br />

popular kids, in a<br />

shifting order of<br />

relative<br />

unimportance,<br />

are the druggies,<br />

trendies,<br />

preppies,<br />

skateboarders,<br />

nerds and<br />

techies, wiggers,<br />

rednecks and<br />

Goths, better<br />

known as freaks.<br />

Real losers are<br />

invisible.<br />

Boys at the bottom of the pyramid use different<br />

strategies to cope -- turning inward and outward,<br />

sometimes in highly destructive ways. (<strong>The</strong>re has<br />

been a fivefold jump in the homicide and suicide<br />

rates of boys in the last 40 years, a rise some experts<br />

attribute to increasing male depression and anger as<br />

well as access to guns, among other factors.) Most<br />

boys live through it, suffer, survive. But the journey<br />

may be especially deadly now because, as the<br />

avalanche of new "male identity" literature<br />

demonstrates, the old prescriptions for behavior no<br />

longer hold, and the new ones are ambivalent.<br />

Today's young males may be feminism's children,<br />

but no one is comfortable with openhearted or<br />

vulnerable boys.<br />

ConVal is in some ways progressive. <strong>The</strong>re are<br />

about 900 students and an administration that<br />

consciously works to minimize the ultramacho<br />

sports culture that dominates many schools. Says<br />

Bob Marshall, the head of the social studies<br />

department, who founded the football program in<br />

1992: "We had to create a football culture. People<br />

didn't know when to cheer. We didn't even have a school song."<br />

Even so, the traditional hierarchies operate: the popular kids tend to be wealthier<br />

and the boys among them tend to be jocks. <strong>The</strong> Gap Girls-Tommy Girls-Polo<br />

Girls compose the pool of desirable girlfriends, many of whom are athletes as<br />

well. Below the popular kids, in a shifting order of relative unimportance, are the<br />

druggies (stoners, deadheads, burnouts, hippies or neo-hippies), trendies or<br />

Valley Girls, preppies, skateboarders and skateboarder chicks, nerds and techies,<br />

wiggers, rednecks and Goths, better known as freaks. <strong>The</strong>re are troublemakers,<br />

losers and floaters -- kids who move from group to group. Real losers are<br />

invisible.<br />

Bullying, here as elsewhere, is rampant. Even in small-town, supposedly safe<br />

environments like Peterborough, a 1994 study found, the vast majority of kids<br />

from middle school up are bullied by their peers. <strong>The</strong> shaming is sex-based, but<br />

the taunting is more intense for boys -- an average high-school student,<br />

http://www.nytimes.com/library/magazine/home/<strong>1999</strong>08<strong>22</strong>mag-boys-social-coping.html (3 of 13) [8/<strong>22</strong>/<strong>1999</strong> 9:18:<strong>22</strong> PM]

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