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FOH-at-Large
This is This
I
caress the smooth spool of
solder as I wait in anticipation
for the soldering gun
to heat up. I strip the rubber
from my cable just enough
to give myself a workable
amount of copper, and with
heated iron in hand, I touch
the tip to the end of the solder
melting just enough to
coat the end of the cable.
I repeat the process over
my solder point and leave a
perfect shining spot where
I then touch the end of my
cable and hold for a moment
before I release the iron. A
thin line of smoke wafts up
and tickles my nostrils with
its delicate fragrance. Ah, I
love the smell of solder in the
morning.
My screw gun sings its
high-wailing song as I put together
my racks. I go over my
stage plot and program my
input list and monitor mixes
into the digital console. I
clean my amplifiers and pack
my cable trunks. I double
check my microphones and
count out my stands. I ensure
that I have the proper steel
package and that my motors
are packed and ready to go.
My power distro energetically
lines itself up behind the
feeder cable trunk and my
line array looks ready to fly.
Equipment gives back what
one puts into it; if it is cared
for and given enough energy
it will not fail. “Stanley,
see this? This is this. This ain’t
somethin’ else. This is this.”
COMING NEXT
MONTH...
INSTALL
The MGM Grand and
Foxwoods Casino join
forces to build a new
entertainment venue.
RUSH
We talk to Brad Madix
and Brent Carpenter to
find out what’s up with
the chickens.
PARNELLI PREVIEW
A look at the lives and
times of the Clair Bros.
of Lititz, Pa.
“I need you guys to set up with the speakers behind
the band. I need you to take up less space.
I need, I need, I need… yada, yada, yada.” Hey,
forget you and your needs. What about me Ms.
or Mr. Producer, eh, what about me?
In Demand FOH
Then the phone rings and I shift to
another part of my brain, “This is Baker
speaking. May I help you?” It could be
one of many voices on the other end
of the line, a male, a female, a knowledgeable
person or a complete novice
in the field of audio. They might be on
tour planning a stopover at one of the
many television shows or arranging a
showcase in some room that was chosen
for décor and not for sound. The
voice on the other end of the line might
be supercilious and ignite my ire. Either
that or the obsequious tone may inspire
a sugar-coated nausea to rise up inside
and gag me, but regardless of tone or
timbre, these voices share in common a
cry for help and a demand for a solution.
“I need a sound system. I need in-ears.
I need a microphone for 500 people. I
need a lot, but only have a little. I need
to fill a rider for a famous act I booked,
but I’m a nonprofit organization. I need
help! Help me please!
www.fohonline.com
The veins in my forehead are bulging
and a red hue begins to filter my vision. I
unclench my teeth and puffing up to my
intimidating and green post Bruce Banner
size, I scream into the mouthpiece of the
technology that has brought me more
than my share of irritation, “WHO CARES
WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT ABOUT ME?”
Sure, you have needs, but I have needs,
too. How are you going to help me? Don’t
just think you can throw money at me
and I’ll jump at your every command or
fill your every whim. I have my pride, you
know, and I have grown weary of hearing
that phrase “I need, I need, I need.” When
do I get my share of the pie? When do I
get to demand? WHAT ABOUT ME?
What About Me? FOH
I push my gear to the loading dock and
load the truck. I look forward to the magic
and joy of putting all the pieces together
and making them fit like some giant 3D
jigsaw puzzle. There is a technical skill to
packing a truck utilizing mathematical and
By BakerLee
Andy Au
spatial relationships. The only
stipulations are those that can
be clearly defined by the physical
boundaries of the box into
which the smaller boxes are
being loaded. There is no grey
area and no room for misinterpretation,
and while the puzzle
might be put together in a variety
of different ways, it either
fits or not. It’s simple. “Stanley,
see this? This is this. This ain’t
somethin’ else. This is this.”
Setting up the gear is
pretty much the same as
packing the truck; everything
has its proper place. A certain
amount of power is needed to
drive the system and all the
pieces fit like an Escher tessellation.
All is going as planned
until some event planner or
hot shot producer comes up
and demands that they need
to move all the gear from one
end of the room to the other.
“I need you guys to set up with
the speakers behind the band.
I need you to take up less
space. I need, I need, I need…
yada, yada, yada.” Hey, forget
you and your needs. What
about me Ms. or Mr. Producer,
eh, what about me?
Never Ending FOH
Unfortunately, it never
ends. Once the gear is all
set (again) some visiting engineer
invariably demands,
“I need to change the input
list. I need more effects. I
need more subs. I need a
different console. I need, I
need, I need.” But, of course,
it’s not over yet, as the band
who has been waiting — not so patiently
— has finally taken the stage so
that they too can express their needs.
“Yo, Mr. Soundman, I need more vocal.
I need more kick drum. Hey yo, we all
need more kick drum. Hey, Mr. Soundman,
more snare in the drum wedge.”
Now the “I needs” are multiplied by five
or six. When will all these desires be satisfied
and what about me? I have needs
too. I go home and my wife needs me,
my kids need me, my dog needs me, my
three cats all need me. Believe it or not,
my two fish and turtle need me, and
what do I get in return? I get stress, agitation,
a twitch under my eye and a really
bad rash. Do I actually need to haul
my ass in to work just for a bad rash I
can easily get at home? Who needs all
these people and their needs? From
now on, it’s just the equipment and me.
“Stanley, see this? This is this. This ain’t
somethin’ else. This is this.”
“I love the smell of solder in the
morning.”